#sarah found another show to be insane about who cheered

[lesbicosmos]

"i thought i wanted to give magic to the world but now all i want...is my partner back."

"you were never broken, viktor. there is beauty in imperfections. they made you who you are; an inseparable piece of everything i admired about you."

"in all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this."

"we finish this together."

if anyone hears screaming and sobbing it's me guys <3

[evermoreholland]

in harmony | tom holland

-> singer!reader x tom holland

-> summary: after a nasty break up, you go to london with your two best friends in hope to find inspiration for your upcoming album and a london boy soon became your muse.

-> word count: 5.7k

-> a/n: wow. this is probably my favorite fic of mine. i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do. big thank you to @rainbowrobin for hyping this fic up and being its biggest fan. also thank you to @cali-holland for beta reading this for me! your support means the world to me and you inspire me every day to keep writing. love you to bits <3

~~~

Breaking up with someone you used to care about was never easy. In fact, grieving and eventually getting over that person was the hardest thing to do. You were a singer so relationships that went public usually ended up terribly wrong. The good part about it is that you can write a hit song about the experience.

Breaking up with your past boyfriend was probably the worst experience for you thus far. You thought that he was the one, every move you made was for him and you ended up depending on him constantly. And he broke your heart. He played you like a fiddle and played with the strings of your heart. He cheated on you with someone you were insecure about the duration of your relationship with him, which made everything feel worse.

You decided that you needed a change of scenery in hopes to clear your head. You had been spending time in your Los Angeles apartment moping around, trying to get over your ex-boyfriend. You also had a deadline for your new album and you haven’t even started. Your album was due towards the end of the summer, and it was now spring.

You sat down on your sofa with a pen and notebook in your hand. You were determined to write something. You didn’t want to write songs about your breakup, but that was all you were thinking about. You saw your phone on the coffee table light up and buzz. It was your manager and agent, Cassandra. You picked up the phone nervously, knowing that she was going to ask about your progress or lack thereof.

“Hello?” You answered.

“Hello, Y/N,” Cassandra greeted sweetly. “How’s the album coming along? We need to start recording soon.”

“Funny you ask.” You always tried to make fun out of an uncomfortable situation.

“Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, Cass! I have no idea what I should be writing about for this album.” It’s not like you didn’t want to write. You did, but you had no idea what to write about.

“Maybe you need a change of scenery, dear. You haven’t been out in months,” Cassandra suggested.

“Maybe you’re right.”

“Where would you want to go? You can stay there for the rest of the spring and the beginning of the summer.”

You thought about it for a moment. You definitely wanted to leave the country.  “How does London sound, Cass?”

“Sounds nice. I’ll book you, Natalie, and Sarah tickets for this weekend and I’ll rent the three of you an Airbnb for your stay,” Cassandra confirmed. Natalie was your personal assistant and your best friend. Sarah was your older sister who traveled with you everywhere and she helped you with many of your songs. She was good to bounce ideas off of. You had the perfect team.

“Perfect. Thank you.” You both said your goodbyes and hung up.

***

Tom got off the airplane and sighed in relief. He was finally home. After many months of filming on another continent, he was back in London. Tom was ready to finally sleep in his own bed and hang out with his brothers and friends once again.

Harry and Tom took an Uber back to Tom’s apartment. It was fairly late and all Tom wanted to do was sleep. In the Uber, Tom and Harry made light conversation.

“You want to go to the new pub by our flat this weekend? Haz and Tuwaine want to hang out,” Harry asked.

“Sure,” Tom mumbled. To be quite honest, Tom had absolutely no desire to go out at all this weekend, but he knew that his mates wanted to see him. He did want to see them too, so he agreed.

“Sounds good.”

***

You packed your suitcases for London at the last minute. In your defense, Cassandra only booked Thursday night’s tickets on Wednesday, so you didn’t have that much time in the first place. You were planning on using your time in London to relax and to create a healthy headspace to write your next album.

You called Natalie to ask her opinion on some of your outfit choices. “Nat, am I going for a  casual look this trip? Like sweatpants and t-shirts?”

“Absolutely not, Y/N. Are you insane?!”

“It was just a question, Natalie.” You defended yourself. “What should I pack then?”

“I don’t know, just look hot. You need to get out of the post-breakup sweatpants phase.”

“Fine,” you grumbled. You grabbed some cute spring sundresses from your closet and threw them into your suitcase. You packed some jeans and blouses as well.

You hung up with Natalie and took a look at your bag. “Should be good.”

***

The flight to London from Los Angeles was long and exhausting. You arrived at Heathrow airport in the early afternoon on Friday. You immediately went to the house to rest up from jetlag. Once you woke up a few hours later, Sarah was pressuring you and Natalie to get dressed. “We’re going to the pub! Get up, ladies!”

“What? Why?” Natalie groaned. You and Natalie were laying on your beds in your shared room. Sarah jumped onto your bed and tackled you.

“Sarah, we’re exhausted,” you said. You pushed your sister off of you and sat up. “We can just go tomorrow.”

“It’s the pub’s grand opening! It’s supposed to be fire!”

“Fine,” you mumbled. You got up and began unpacking your suitcase. “But I refuse to wear heels.”

***

Harrison made his way to his best mate’s flat to pick him up for the Cheer Beers grand opening on Friday night. Harrison used his spare key to get into Tom’s place. “Tom,” Harrison called out. He made his way to Tom’s bedroom to make sure he was ready for the night.

“In my room!” Tom exclaimed. Tom sounded upset and agitated. Harrison entered his room anyway because he wanted to hang out with his best friend. He opened the door and noticed Tom laying his bed under the covers.

“Are you alright, mate?” Harrison asked. Harrison noticed Tom in his pajamas while in bed. “Why aren’t you ready to go? Harry already went out with Tuwaine to wait in line.”

“I want to hang out with you all, but I’m just so jetlagged, mate.”

Harrison took his phone out of his back pocket to check the time and noticed an Instagram notification from you. He opened it out of curiosity and it was a direct message. It said that you would be at Cheer Beers tonight with your friends and asked if he was going. Harrison and you had met at an award show a few months back and you became friends. “You know what I just found out, Tom?”

“What?”

“Y/N L/N is going to the grand opening tonight.”

“You’re lying just to get me out of bed!” Tom accused him. Tom didn’t want to admit it, but he fancied you. He has been following you on social media and listening to your music for a while now, so Harrison saying you were going to be at the pub caught his attention.

“I’m not.” Harrison showed Tom his phone with your direct message. “I had no idea she was in town, though.”

“No clue, either.”

“Now will you come?” Harrison asked. “I know you have a huge crush on her.”

Tom eyed him skeptically but then let out a sigh. “Fine, I’ll go.”

***

You waited in line outside of Cheer Beers with Sarah and Natalie. You were wearing a black sleeveless cocktail dress with black slip-on vans. You saw a few familiar faces approach you and you realized that it’s your friend Harrison and his mates. You recognized one of his friends to be Tom Holland.

“Hey, Haz!” You greeted. He pulled you into a hug and squeezed you tightly. You pulled away and said, “Following me, I see?”

“Very funny,” he replied. “We were coming to opening night anyway. We were planning this in honor of Tom’s return from filming.”

“Oh, that’s right,” you said and then turned to Tom. You put your hand out for him to shake. “I’m Y/N.”

He shook your hand and you felt his sweaty palm touch yours. You could assume that he was either unwell or nervous. “Tom. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise.”

You introduced Natalie and Sarah to Harrison and he introduced the rest of his friends to the three of you.

“Would you like to share a table with us?” Harry, Tom’s younger brother, asked you.

“I’m sure that Y/N L/N would have much better opportunities than to sit with us, Harry,” Tom interjected.

“Actually, Tom, we would love to.” You all entered the pub and grabbed a table in the back room. Harrison sat between Sarah and Tuwaine. Harry sat by Natalie. You sat between Natalie and Tom, per Natalie’s whisper in your ear to go for it. You all got your first round of drinks.

“So what brings you to London?” Tom asked.

“Needed to clear my head,” you said and then ate the olives from your martini.

“So you flew halfway across the world?” Tom was amused and you could tell. He wasn’t trying to laugh at you particularly, he just thought it was funny that you chose London of all places.

“Shut up,” you teased. “We’re here for the summer. A vacation, or holiday, if you will.”

“Nice, nice.” You could feel the slight awkward tension between the two of you. You were basically strangers so it made sense. You decided to try and break it. “How was filming for the third Spider-Man film?”

Tom’s eyes lit up at your sudden interest in his work. “Can I tell you a funny story?”

***

Three hours passed by and you decided to call it a night. You talked with Tom the entire night. You enjoyed his company but you were also jetlagged. “Tom, I’m tired,” you said as you leaned on his shoulder.

“Me too.”

“Want to walk me home?” You asked.

“Would love to.” You both got up from the booth and Tom paid for your drinks, even though you protested. Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry, Sarah, and Natalie didn’t look like they were ready to leave any time soon so you said your goodbyes to them and left with Tom.

“How far are you away from here?” Tom asked you.

“About a ten minute walk.” You began walking in the cool London air.

“So, Harrison told me that you were writing for your new album. How’s that going?”

“Not well,” you said as you crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s been fucking difficult.”

“I’m sorry, love.” The pet named warmed your heart and body even more. Tom wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him. “I wish I can help you out somehow.”

“It’s alright. Getting out tonight helped me get into a good headspace,” you said.

“Glad to hear it.” You arrived at your Airbnb and Tom walked you to the front door. “I had a great time tonight, Y/N.”

You smiled, the first genuine smile that you’ve had in a while. “Me too, Tom.” You opened your door to enter.

“Wait.” Tom stopped you. “Let me get your number.”

“Sure.”

***

Two weeks had passed since you arrived in London and you and Tom have been texting back and forth. He had even taken you on a tour of London. He took you to all of the hot spots. Occasionally, Tom, Harrison, and Harry would come over to your Airbnb to hang out with you, Sarah, and Natalie. You were developing friendships with everyone, but you felt a bit stronger about Tom. He was charming, kind, and really funny. You enjoyed his company and you finally got the chance to start writing for your upcoming album. You realized that you didn’t want to write about your breakup with your ex, but instead write about your crush on the brown-haired London boy.

“How is the album coming along?” Cassandra asked you on the phone.

“Pretty good. I have a killer single coming your way and many other songs too.”

“Remember, we need to start recording at the end of July.”

“You got it.”

“You sound happy,” she commented. She was right. You were happy and finally completely over your ex. “It’s a good look on you.”

“Thanks.”

“What are you writing about?”

“Oh, you know… London, pubs, boys,” you trailed off.

***

Harrison was busy planning his upcoming date with your sister, Sarah. They hit it off extremely well at the opening of Cheer Beers. They got each other’s numbers and planned to go on a date. To be honest, Harrison was stressed out. He scored a date with Sarah L/N, which ultimately shocked him. So, he decided to go to his best mate for some advice.

Tom was sitting in his living room and Harrison entered with two dress shirts in hand. One of them was a white button-down and the other one navy. “Which shirt should I wear on my date with Sarah?”

“Black slacks, right?” Tom asked.

“Yeah, and a black leather jacket.”

“Go with white,” Tom suggested.

“Thanks, mate. Another question,” Harrison proposed. It felt natural for Harrison to ask Tom about his lady troubles, even though Tom had been single for a while.

Tom nodded his head to urge Harrison to continue.

“What if I fuck this up?” He asked nervously. “I really like Sarah.”

Tom got up from the couch to come closer to Harrison and put his hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be fine, mate. Just be yourself. She’ll fancy you, I promise.”

“How are you so good at giving me advice but you can’t get a girlfriend?”

Tom mocked being bothered. “Rude,” he scoffed.

“What are you waiting for?”

“If I say the perfect girl, will you slap me?” Tom joked.

“Yes, yes I will,” Harrison laughed as he replied. “I think that you already found the perfect girl at Cheer Beers.”

“We’re still getting to know each other. Why must we move so fast?” Tom wondered. He wanted to take things slow. His life had always moved fast and he wanted something to move at his pace, for once. Too many relationships have moved too fast and he ended up hurt.

“Because she’s only here for so long and I have a feeling that she likes you,” Harrison reasoned. Tom was starting to feel the same way about you too.

“Fine. While you go on your date with Sarah tonight, I’ll see if Y/N wants to hang out.” He picked up his phone from the coffee table and texted you asking if you wanted to come over. You replied saying yes and he smiled. “We’re hanging out.”

“Great. Don’t forget to use protection,” Harrison said as he ran away to go get dressed for his date.

“Fuck off, you div!”

***

Tom went to the grocery store to pick up some snacks and beers before you came over to his flat. He tidied up the living room once he got home and made sure to fluff the pillow to make them look nicer. Even though you and Tom were only friends, he couldn’t help but make sure that everything looked perfect for you.

You arrived 30 minutes later. You wore sweatpants and a sweatshirt, along with your slides. Your hair was out of your face and Tom thought that you looked stunning. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Tom blushed. “Nice sweatshirt.” Your sweatshirt was light blue and it had butterflies on it. Tom realized that he loved that color on you.

He led you to the couch and he sat beside you. “So what did you do today?” You asked.

“I worked on a script that I’m writing and then I helped Harrison get ready for his date with your sister. What about you, love?” The pet name made your heart flutter. Tom was definitely charming.

“I worked on some songs for the album,” you answered proudly.

“Care to share?”

“Willing to share what the script’s about?” You asked back, already knowing the answer.

“I’m legally not allowed to share, so no. I’m sorry, darling.”

“Then my answer is the same.”

“Well played, pretty girl,” he flirted. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure, what do you have in mind?”

“Avengers: Age of Ultron?”

“Yes, it’s one of my favorite Marvel movies!” You exclaimed. “I have a feeling that you knew that already.”

Tom smiled at you as he picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned on the television. “I may have, but only because Haz told me. Don’t worry, though. It’s one of my favorites too.”

Tom found the movie and before he hit play he got up from the couch. “May I offer you some popcorn before we start the movie? I have beer as well.”

“Yes to both, please.” Tom went to the kitchen to pop the popcorn and grab some beers. He came back around five minutes later with everything.

“Here you go,” he said as he handed you a bottle of beer. “I know it’s not a martini.”

“It’ll have to do,” you teased. You pat the seat beside you to urge Tom over. “Now, come sit.”

Tom pressed play and the Marvel introduction appeared on the screen. You moved closer to Tom and he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, just like he did that night at the pub. “Is this ok?” He asked.

“It’s perfect.”

Around an hour into the movie, the popcorn was finished along with your first bottle of beer. Tom’s hand was still resting on your shoulder but now your head was resting on his. “Y/N?” Tom called out.

“Yeah?” You asked as you moved your head away from him so you could look at him.

“Can I be honest with you about something?” You nodded so he would continue. “I really want to kiss you.”

“Can I be honest with you?” You asked while smiling.

“Yeah.”

“I really want you to kiss me,” you said as you leaned in. He pressed his lips against yours in a soft first kiss. You kissed back almost immediately. After a couple of seconds, you pulled away from him.

“Wow,” he said.

“Ditto,” you said and then pulled him back towards you. You kissed him again and you knew that from now on, you couldn’t get enough of him.

***

Tom and you didn’t finish the movie the other night. After your many makeout sessions with him, you decided to go home, and you promised him that the two of you would get together again soon. You went home with the biggest smile on your face. Since your kiss, you and Tom have not talked about the status of your relationship. As of right now, you were just friends who have kissed before. No biggie.

It was now the 28th of May and you were sitting on a park bench having coffee with Harrison. It would be Tom’s 25th birthday in four days and the two of you were attempting to plan the perfect party for him.

“You’ll get the decorations, Sam will cook a few dishes, and I’ll provide booze,” Harrison said, listing things off. “We’ll host it at my new flat and I already called everyone.”

“Sounds great, Haz. I just hope he has a great time.”

“I’m sure he will,” he said as he winked at you, indicating something.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked, referring to his wink.

“I know that something happened between the two of you last week. Tom hasn’t stopped smiling since the two of you started hanging out. I’m sure he’ll be happy to know that you planned a party for him.”

“We all are planning it,” you corrected him.

“Yeah, but it’s not like he fancies me,” Harrison laughed.

You rolled your eyes at the blonde-haired boy in front of you. “Whatever.” You got up from the park bench and began walking towards his car. “Come on, Harrison. We need to go to the market.���

***

It was the 1st of June; Tom’s birthday. You woke up early to make sure that everything was ready to go for the party tonight. Harrison and Tom’s brothers planned a golf trip with Tom while you set up Harrison’s flat. You brought Sarah and Natalie along with you to help.

“Move that banner a little more to the right,” you told Sarah. She moved it as you requested. The banner said, Happy 25th birthday, Tom! in light blue glitter. “Looks great. Thanks, sis.”

You blew up balloons, set up tables for the food and drinks, got streamers and ribbons, and finally assembled the cupcake tower with the cupcakes you and Natalie baked the night before.

“Red velvet. Nice choice,” Sarah said as she took a look at the cupcakes on display.

“They’re Tom’s favorite,” you pointed out.

“Seems like you know a lot about him.”

“Well, he is my friend.”

Natalie laughed at your response to your sister’s comment. “Is that all he is?” She asked.

“For now.” You pulled out your phone from your pocket to check the time. It was the early afternoon and the party would start in a few hours. “We better get going to get ready. Sam will bring the food and set it up within the hour.”

Before you got into the car, you texted Tom to wish him a happy birthday and he responded with a heart emoji. You smiled to yourself and then got into the car to drive to your Airbnb.

The three of you washed up and got dressed for Tom’s party. You decided on wearing a light blue sundress with daisies on it. You matched it with white wedges and you did your hair to your liking. Once you were all ready you drove to Harrison’s. When you got there, Harrison, Sam, Tuwaine, and a few other friends of Tom’s were already there.

“Harry is bringing Tom in around 15 minutes,” Harrison told you.

“Ok. Everything seems to be going pretty smoothly.”

“We make a pretty great team,” Harrison said in appreciation for all of the work to make Tom’s party happen.

“Tell that to Sarah over there,” you teased him. His date with your sister went well from what she told you, but because of Harrison’s nervousness, they haven’t talked much since. “She’s been dying to hang out with you.”

“Are you just saying that so you can have Tom all to yourself when he gets here?” He tried to joke.

“No,” you said seriously. “Go talk to her, Haz.” You pushed him lightly in her direction to encourage him to go talk to her.

“I see Harry’s car pulling up!” Sam said a few minutes later. “Everyone get ready.”

Harry used Harrison’s spare key to get into his flat and once both of them entered you all yelled, “Surprise!”

“Thanks, guys!” Tom said in shock. Tom made his rounds to greet everyone to say thank you. You waited patiently in the kitchen for the birthday boy. He finally approached you after a few minutes. “Hey, love.”

“Happy birthday,” you said as you pulled him in for a hug. “You look very handsome.”

He pulled away to look at you. “Thank you, but you’re absolutely stunning.”

You leaned in to kiss his cheek and then said, “Thanks, Tom.”

“I should be thanking you,” he said and then grabbed your hands to intertwine your fingers together.

“For what?”

“Harrison told me that you helped him plan all of this, so thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure,” you said genuinely. “You like it?”

“I love it. He looked over to the counter and saw the cupcakes. “Is that a cupcake tower?”

“A red velvet cupcake tower,” you confirmed. “I baked them.”

“You’re a goddess.” He kissed your lips for half a second and then grabbed a cupcake from one of the tiers. He unwrapped the cupcake and then took a bite. He hummed in delight.

“I’m taking that you like them,” you giggled at the man in front of you. He could seriously make anything look cute.

“They’re heaven,” he moaned. Tom dipped his finger in the frosting and swiped your nose with it. You looked at him in shock. “Aw, you look so adorable,” he said.

You laughed at his antics. “Glad you think so, babe.”

Tom’s lit up at the pet name. “Babe? Hmmm.”

“Yeah, babe.” You took some frosting from what was remaining of his cupcake and placed some on his nose to match you. “You look very cute with frosting on your nose, babe.”

Tom grabbed a napkin from the counter and cleaned the frosting off the both of you. “We’re both very cute.”

“Ok, lovebirds,” Sam called out for the two of you. “Let’s get this party started!”

“Before we go out there, I have something to ask you,” Tom said.

“And what may that be?”

“Will you go out on a date with me?” He asked nervously. You felt your heart skip a beat and you could’ve sworn that you felt Tom’s heart beating rapidly from how close you were standing to him.

“I would love to, Tom,” you said and then kissed him to confirm that you really wanted to.

***

The rest of the night went well and Tom enjoyed his time with his friends. You, Sarah, and Natalie crashed at Harrison’s place along with Tom and Harry. The party ended late and the five of you were too tired to drive home, so Harrison offered to let you all stay there.

You woke up early and made your way downstairs to heat the kettle for tea. As you were waiting, you heard footsteps, and soon enough a pair of arms wrapped around you. “Good morning, beautiful,” Tom said and then kissed your clothed shoulder.

“Morning.” You turned around so you could face him. “How did you sleep?”

“Not so well,” Tom said as he stretched out his arms. “Harrison’s a kicker.”

“Poor baby,” you teased, and then Tom pouted. “Quit pouting, Tommy. I know you’re faking it.”

“Fine,” Tom mumbled.

You turned to the stove and saw that the kettle was ready. “Want tea?”

“Please. A splash of milk and a spoonful of sugar, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” you said as you poured him a cup. “So where are we going on our first date?”

“That’s a surprise, darling.”

***

A week after Tom’s birthday, Tom texted you asking if you were available to go on your first date. You had been working on the album the entire morning so you thought it’d be nice to go out with Tom. You replied yes and he told you to be ready within the hour. Tom knocked on your door around an hour later, with a bouquet in his hand. “These are for you, love,” he said with a smile as he handed them to you.

“Thank you, Tom,” you said and then sniffed the flowers. “Come in while I put these in some water.” Tom entered your Airbnb and you searched for a vase in one of the cabinets. Once you found one, you filled it up with water and put the flowers in. “We should be good to go now.”

Tom held your hand as he led you to the car. He opened the door for you and then got in and started the car. “You ready?”

“Where are we going?” You asked.

“You’ll see in around 15 minutes, angel.” Tom grabbed your hand that was resting in your lap and brought it up to his lips to kiss it. “I don’t think I told you this, but you look ethereal.”

“You’re quite the charmer, Holland.”

“I aim to please,” he joked. “But in all seriousness, you always look gorgeous.”

Tom was by far the kindest man you have ever met in your entire life. You have known him for barely two months but he made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. You had never felt this way about anyone before.

Tom drove down to a lake. “It’s one of my secret spots,” he told you.

He led you down to the grass near the water and he set up a picnic there for the two of you. “I made sandwiches, cut up some fruit, and some apple cider.”

“It looks good. Thank you, Tom.” He pulled everything out from the picnic basket and handed you one of the sandwiches.

“Anything for you.”

“So this is one of your secret spots, huh?” You asked.

“Mhm,” he mumbled as he took a bite from his sandwich.

“So you bring a lot of girls here?” You teased and you could’ve sworn that you saw Tom almost choke on his sandwich. “Is that why it's so special?”

“Very funny, love,” Tom said. “No, I actually come here alone.”

“I’m guessing because it’s quiet.”

“Yeah, I come here when I need to clear my head.”

You looked around the area and you immediately understood why Tom liked it so much. There was a beautiful, cool breeze and the birds chirping sounded like music to your ears. “It’s beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here.”

“I can drive you here to write songs if you’d like,” Tom offered.

“That would be lovely.”

You and Tom spent a couple of hours at the lake. You talked about anything and everything, and you finally felt yourself get closer to him. You felt him opening up to you too, which you felt good about.

“Would you like to go on a drive with me?” Tom asked once you both packed up the remainder of the picnic.

“Will there be music involved?”

“What would be a nice evening drive without music? C’mon, let’s go.” Tom led you to his car and you began your drive. The sun was setting and it was beautiful. “It’s wonderful outside, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is,” you said.

“I had a great time with you, Y/N.”

“Me too.”

*** Once Tom dropped you off, you began writing another song. His date left you inspired and you were starting to like him more and more. Each time you saw him your feelings for him grew. He inspired you to write your song, London Boy.

Tom wanted a second date. He felt so good leaving the first one and knew that he wanted to pursue a relationship with you. He knew that it would be hard but relationships won’t always be easy. He decided to call you the next to ask when he could see you again.

“Tom, we just went out,” you teased.

“I know, Y/N, but I like you. A lot.” You thought that it was cute how Tom was eager for a second date. You were excited too.

“I like you, too. I would love to see you again, too,” you said.

“Coffee? I don’t drink it but I know how much you like it,” Tom offered.

“How about tea? Know any good spots for a cup of tea and maybe breakfast?”

“I know just the place. See you soon, Y/N.”

***

Many amazing dates with Tom and a bunch of fun days in London later and you know that you’re ready to start recording your next album. People had their assumptions about you and Tom. Rumors had gone around but Tom and you didn’t address them.

London inspired so much of your album that you decided to record there. The rest of your team flew out and you began recording.

You called Tom asking him to come to the studio. “I’m recording one of my favorite songs today. I would love for you to come if you’re free.” You were recording London Boy today and you wanted Tom to hear it since he hadn’t before. It would also be a good way to officially tell Tom that you’re falling in love with him.

“I would love to come. Send me the address.”

“You got it. See you in 20.”

You sent Tom the address of the studio and he was there within 15 minutes. You greeted him at the front. “Hey, babe.”

He kissed you on the cheek and then asked, “Are you excited for today?”

“Very. I’m excited for you to hear the song,” you said as you led him into the studio. You introduced him to Cassandra and the rest of your team.

“Y/N, get your pretty ass in the booth,” Cassandra said. You walked into the recording booth and put on your headphones. “Let’s do this.”

“Tom, sit up in front,” you said and then he took a seat beside Cassandra. “This one is called London Boy.”

The upbeat music came on and you knew that you were skipping the intro for now so you went in with the first verse.

I love my hometown as much as Motown, I love SoCal And you know I love Springsteen, faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey But something happened, I heard him laughing I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent They say home is where the heart is But that's not where mine lives

You heard Cassandra tell you to stop so they could play it back. You saw Tom smiling at you as you were singing and you took that as a good sign that he was enjoying it.

“Now for the chorus.”

You know I love a London boy I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon He likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet Darling, I fancy you Took me back to Highgate, met all of his best mates So I guess all the rumors are true You know I love a London boy Boy, I fancy you (Ooh)

You ended up finishing the recording of the song in an hour. You left the booth for your break and you first greeted Tom. “What did you think of it?”

“I love you, too,” he said. You leaned up to him and kissed him with every fiber of your being.

“That’s good because many of these songs are about you.”

“And I can’t wait to hear them all,” he said and then smiled.

“I can’t believe how I’ve only been here for three months and I already feel this way,” you said honestly. You have never fallen so fast for anyone, but it feels right with Tom. Everything feels right with him.

“Well, believe it because it’s real,” Tom confirmed. “Be mine, Y/N?”

“I thought you’d never ask, lover.”

~~~

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tagging: @tomsbabymomma @canwekissforever-hazzy @pinklxmonade​ @tomsbrina​ @storybookholland​ 

[misslilli]

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 15 - Siblings And Secret Sting Operations

[ DS ]

Sundays are reserved for church and phone calls with my family, so after mass and the church brunch, I make myself a cup of tea and grab my blanket, heading upstairs to curl up on the Adirondack chair on my private balcony. I take out my phone and call my brother Charlie.

He picks up on the second ring. “City morgue. You kill ‘em, we chill ‘em!” I almost choke on my sip of tea.

“Hey Charlie! That’s a new one, very funny. Almost killed me with it!”

“Aah killing with jokes is my specialty. Sorry sis! How’s it going over there on the main land?”

“We mere mortals manage to get by, always a little in awe of the Gods of the Cape. Hey can you see me?” I get up and wave across the bay to where I can picture him standing in front of his little cottage, waving back.

“I deign to gaze at the mere mortal waving like a crazy person, yeah! So what’s new with you?”

“Nothing much, busy with school, the usual. How about you? How’s Pete? Did he get the promotion?” I can hear the smile in his voice at the mention of his boyfriend.

“Yeah he did, I’m insanely proud of the big-shot broker that I call mine!” Against all odds, they make a pretty great couple, the artist and the stock broker. “So, speaking of… how’s your love life? Seeing anyone?” He always asks me this and the answer’s pretty much the same every time, but today, I surprise him.

“Mhh yeah, there’s someone…” The gasp he gives is so loud, it almost carries across the bay.

“Shut up! What? Who? When? Are you really seeing someone?”

“No… not exactly. But… there is the dream of someone else….” I sigh into the phone, smiling at the mental image of Fox Mulder that pops into my head.

“You’re kidding. Who is he?” As I recount the moments that happened between the two of us, Charlie is practically jumping with glee.

“God, that’s so great, sis! So, what happens now? Why are you pining for him from afar instead of putting on the big-girl pants and ask him out on a date?” I shake my head.

“You know why, Charlie. I’m really scared I’ll screw this up and the fact that I care about his kid so much makes it even more difficult. Oh God, and can you imagine what Dad will have to say about him being divorced and a single parent?” Charlie groans into the phone in frustration.

“Not this again, Dana. You can’t live your life the way you think will get you dad’s stamp of approval, you deserve to be happy and from the sound of it, you’re pretty excited about this guy. I can tell you from experience, if I had chosen to chase dad’s approval, I’d still be so deep in the closet I’d need a map and a compass to find my way out. So, your other concerns are valid but you’ll never find out if he’s the one if you don’t try!”

“I know, I know, you’re right, just like you were right the other thousand times we’ve had this conversation. What am I supposed to do, just walk up to him and ask him on a date? I can’t do that!” The thought alone sends a cold shiver down my spine.

“YES Dana, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do! We’re living in the 21st century, we’re not playing this stupid game where a boy has to ask a girl out, it’s okay if it’s the other way around!” I hang my head and sigh in resignation, he’s right, as always. I want to hate him a little for it.

“Alright, I’ll think about it, happy?” – “Overjoyed! So let me tell you about that art show that I’m putting on at the gallery!”

We chat for a little while longer, waving at each other again as we say our goodbyes.

----------

In the meantime, downstairs in the kitchen

The three other girls are sitting around the kitchen table having a very late breakfast, the smell of coffee and pancakes filling the house. They speak in hushed tones, not wanting to be overheard by the fourth friend upstairs.

“Girls … This Mr.Mulder- Dana situation is killing me. I just can’t take it anymore, they’re pining for each other so hard but they’re both too chicken to do something about it!”

“What are you saying, S?” Alex blows a cooling breath over her coffee cup.

“I’m saying that these two need a hefty kick in the butt!”

“Ooooh I get it now!” Holly bounces in her seat excitedly. “We’ll be the trusty matchmakers for these love-birds!”

“The two of you are out of your minds. She’ll see right through it, you know she will! We’ve talked about it with her Friday after Friday but nothing has happened! And he’s not making a move either.”

“Yeah… we can’t just go up to him and ask him if he’s blind or stupid or both and tell him that he should get his ass in gear and ask her out already!” Sarah spears a piece of pancake with her fork, twirling it thoughtfully.

“What if we enlist the help of his kid?”

“Holly, no, we can’t do that! He’s six for god’s sakes. Besides, I think they have another thing coming with him when they actually dostart dating. You know how kids lash out when their parent starts dating again, and he loves D to pieces. No, we need a more subtle plan.”

“How about we spike her drink at the birthday party with some hard stuff? You know, lower the inhibitions and all that” Sarah waggles her eyebrows suggestively.

Holly gapes at her friend. “Sarah! We can’t drug our friend into sleeping with him! It’s not right and she’ll have our heads for it if she ever found out, rightfully so! What about the Halloween fair, they’re both working there, but D doesn’t know that he got roped into it?”

Realization dawns in Sarah’s eyes and her mind works out a plan. The other two nod enthusiastically when she tells them about it.

“Oh this is so exciting! We need to talk to Miss Hannigan and some other people but I think it’s a good start to push them closer together! Now that we’ve got a plan, we just need to figure out how to keep it all from D. We live together, so she’s bound to overhear us talking about it at some point.” Holly and Alex nod in unison.

“We’ll go all secret sting operation on their ass, codenames and all. They won’t know what hit ‘em.”

“Codenames, S?”

“Yes codenames, come on it’ll be so much fun, like a secret society, Illuminati-style!”

Alex laughs: “Alright, what are our codenames for these two?”

They all think hard about this. “Well their real names are out, of course. Middle names too. Red and brown?” – “No, hair color’s too obvious, A!” – “Mom and Dad?” They share a laugh, shaking their heads. “That’s weird. Can we do something with the first letters of their names? F and D? S and M?” Holly bursts out giggling. “Okay maybe not S and M! … M and S? Can we do something with that?”

A slow smile spreads over Sarah’s face. “I’ve got it! A thunder of jets in an open sky, a streak of grey and a cheerful “HI!” – BOOM - a loop, a whirl and a vertical climb and once again you’ll know it’s time for the adventures oooof…?”

Holly jumps out of her chair and yells out excitedly: “Moose and Squirrel! Sarah that’s brilliant!!” Alex nods her agreement, grinning.

“We’ll call it Operation: Bullwinkle!”

“Man, Squirrel’s so gonna kick our asses…”

[ironmariposa]

(The things I did) Just so I could call you mine

Chapter 4/4

Also found on Ao3

Authors notes: So here it is!!! I’m so excited to have it out there and finished. I’ve had so much fun writing this and have appreciated every single comment along the way. Thank you all so very much for reading!!

The baseball scene was greatly inspired by Hate to Want You by Alisha Ray. In fact it was when I read that scene that I came up with this fic idea. Yay for plot bunnies!!!

She’s standing on the dock, her arms crossed over her chest when the boat appears in the distance. She waits impatiently until he cuts the engine and idles closer.

“Hey Ray, I think your girl’s pissed. Or she’s on her period.” Tyler jokes.

“Shut up, Tyler.” Both her and Ray say at the same time.

“What the fuck?!” She shouts at him as soon as Tyler and Adam jump out of the boat and scurry away. “What the actual fuck, Ray?! You crapped out on me to get high on your boat!”

He hops out and grabs the rope, his arm muscles on full display as he ties it off. He jumps back in the boat to grab his ice chest and a few other items, ignoring her question. Ignoring her. He steps back on the dock and makes his way toward the house. Throwing up her hands in frustration she follows.

“You have nothing to say for yourself? Just going to ignore me. That’s fine. I have plenty to say.” She pauses a moment to see if he’ll respond but he just keeps on walking. “You know what, Ray? I’m not mad you bailed on me. Not even that surprised. What pisses me off most was this was an easy A for you. And instead of taking it you flake off like you always do. You think everyone is so against you but the only one truly against you is yourself.”

Finally he stops and turns to her. His sunglasses are down, hiding the truth in his eyes but his jaw is clenched, his nostrils flaring, “You don’t know shit about me.”

“Yeah?” She throws up her hands, “Then why don’t you fill me in?”

“Why?” He questions with so much vinum, “Why do you care? I’m just a Meth Row idiot heading down the same path as my father.”

She gasps because he couldn’t have heard them.

“Isn’t that what your boyfriend, Bishop, said?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” She says, but she’s lost all her fire and it sounds pathetic to both their ears.

“Doesn’t matter, Heather.” He leans closer, “You agreed with him. Called me an idiot.”

Heather shakes her head, “No. I did not agree with him. I don’t, Ray.” She reaches for him but he jerks away and she drops her hand.

“Look. The project is done. Thank the fuck. Now I can be rid of you.”

“Ray.” She whispers but he cuts her off.

“All you were to me was a fucking nuisance Plaza left me with but now we’re finished. We don’t need to talk ever again. And I’m fucking relieved.”

She watches him walk away until he disappears into his house with the slam of the screen door. It takes her a few tries but she finally manages to walk back the way she came. Instead of heading straight home she detours to the snack mart. Gets herself a strawberry lemonade and her sister some gummy bears. Summer is working and Heather stands there numb as the girl rambles on about the upcoming baseball tournament.

“Only two more months left till we’re free. Got any big plans?” Summer asks casually after giving Heather her purchases.

Heather shrugs as she takes a sip of her drink. It’s just as satisfying as always and she feels her frustration melt away. “Not really.”

Summer leans forward through the window and whispers, “I’ve been asked to help emcee the games.”

Heather's eyes widen, “Who’s the other?”

“Diggins.” Not that surprising of a choice. Daniel Diggins is one of the more outgoing people in their grade and he seems to get along with everyone. “Are you going to play?” Summer asks.

Heather shakes her head, “No.”

Summer smiles at her, “Don’t blame ya. But just FYI I hear the pot is insane this year.” Another customer steps up and Heather waves to Summer with her purchases and starts her walk home.

She spends the rest of her Spring Break working or with Nat. Bishop is on vacation with his family. Some beach. But he’s still not talking to her so it doesn’t matter. She tries to do some fun stuff with Lily. Takes her to putt-putt at Andy’s and spends a good five minutes watching a kid in the batting cages. She wonders one too many times what Ray is doing. She knows he’s probably working too. Or out on his boat.

She wonders more than once if he’s taking another girl out with him.

All in all it’s a completely uneventful Spring Break and it’s a bit depressing considering it’s her Senior year. But completely typical considering who she is and where she comes from. Carp doesn’t let people like her escape.

Bishop returns from his trip with a bag of seashells and an apology. She easily forgives him, she’s never been able to resist when he tilts his head and gives her that sweet smile of his.

“Look. I’m not gonna pretend to understand.” He says.

“There’s nothing to understand, Bishop.”

And that’s that. Natalie dances around them and they make plans to go to a party that night.

The Senior baseball tournament starts with a school wide pep rally. As usual it’s loud and uncomfortable as they all crowd into the hot gym. The cheerleaders jump around and shake their Pom poms while the Principal tries to get everyone excited. Typically, the Freshmen and Seniors are the only ones that show any enthusiasm. The middle grades could care less. Finally they’re released and everyone makes their way to the baseball fields behind the middle school.

Natalie and Bishop are on the same team and their game is early in the day. Heather watches from the bleachers as Bishop strikes out every time he’s up to bat and Natalie manages to hit a couple of balls. They still lose the game, neither of her friends are really heartbroken over it. They wander around with time to spare, Heathers game isn’t until later in the evening. That’s even if she’s still on the team. She assumes she is since she received a group text.

Heather approaches the bench and gives a half smile as Ray looks over his shoulder at her. His blue eyes are expressionless as they meet hers and it hurts far more than she thought it would. He’s completely avoided her at school and she can’t say she’s been very aggressive with trying to get his attention. It’s back to like it was before they were paired for their project. The two of them acting as if they barely know one another.

She’s handed a jersey and smiles at Summer as she buttons it over her tank.

“Hope you Fuckers are ready to play, because I don’t lose.” Ray says as a pep speech before the game starts.

She only nods at the harsh tone of his voice and sits between Drew Santiago and Summer. Both looking far more excited than she feels about playing. The game starts and she waves shyly at Natalie and Bishop in the stands as they cheer loudly for her.

She is horrible. Absolutely horrible. The other team figures out quickly she’s completely hopeless out in the field and starts trying to hit every ball towards her. And she’s unable to hit a single ball when up at bat. Close to the end of the game, Adam pulls her aside and tries to teach her how to bunt a ball. Ray catches them and shakes his head as if to say she’s hopeless.

That there pisses her off enough to actually do it and she makes it onto first base with loud cheering from her friends in the bleachers and the team in the dugout. Well, most of the team. Ray just stands in the dugout entry, leaning against it with his arms crossed, a hard look on his face. Then she actually gets on second when Summer hits the ball to the outfield.

Heather’s idling at second base when Ray steps up to bat. She has a perfect view of him and she wishes she had spent her time in high school at his baseball games instead of whatever else she had been doing with her friends. He looks really good in the baseball uniform. The pants doing amazing things for his ass.

She hears the crack of the ball and a loud collective gasp before an intense pain in her shoulder. She realizes she’s been hit and takes only a moment to decide what to do. Running to third base she notices someone running towards her. Not someone, Ray.

“What are you doing?” She shouts, “Go to first!” She points back. His eyes are so wide, filled with fear and concern and everything else she missed the past few weeks.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“I’m fine!” Her eyebrows lower, “But you’re out now.”

He glances back to first base and hesitates before he’s forced back to their dugout.

“I thought you were obsessed with winning!” She shouts at his back when she makes it back in the dugout. Everyone goes silent around them.

He turns to her and pushes himself in her space, “I am,” he shouts back at her, “But I’m more obsessed with you.”

Heather's face is guarded. Drew shuffles over with an ice pack. A welcome distraction as she thanks him and takes it, pressing it against her shoulder with a flinch. Her eyes flash to the bleachers and Ray follows her gaze to her friends. To Bishop.

Heather sits out the rest of the game and it passes in a blur. Ray stays at the other end of the dugout. The game ends with them losing by one. She silently makes her way to her friends who fret over her injury. They make her show them and both suck in a gasp at the bruise. It does look horrible, feels horrible too. What the hell had she been thinking, playing baseball when she had no clue about the game.

The ballpark empties out and Bishop offers to drive her home. She makes up an excuse and her friends leave her with lingering looks but neither say a word.

She finds Ray by his truck with Sarah and Tyler. She doesn’t hesitate as she approaches him, “Did you mean what you said out there?”

All eyes turn to her and Sarah and Tyler quickly give out reasons they need to go. Scurrying off with a cringe towards Ray. Sarah though shoots Heather a smile.

“Heather, look.” He sounds defeated.

She shakes her head, “Did you mean it?”

He clenches his jaw and lightly punches the side of his truck.

“Because I seem to recall you telling me you didn’t think about me like that. That I was just a nuisance that Mrs. Plaza had left you with.” She jabs a finger in his already bare chest, “That you couldn’t wait to be done with our project so you could, and I quote, be rid of me for good.”

She’s so mad. So incredibly mad and so very confused. It’s been weeks of confusion and she’s tired of feeling that way. Tired of fighting whatever this is between them. Tired of her friends making her feel bad for spending time with him. Tired of him making her feel bad for wanting to spend time with him.

Just. Tired.

He closes his eyes and shuts her out and she can't take it anymore. She shuts down all the reasons why this is wrong and she does what feels right. Grabbing his uniform, she yanks him closer. His blue eyes blink open in surprise.

“Kiss me.” Her voice is both soft and demanding.

He blinks again then brings his hands up slowly. Like he is giving her time to change her mind. But she doesn’t want to change her mind. She lets him cradle her jaw as he leans closer. Lets him brush his lips against hers. So gentle. Just a feather light touch and she needs more. Wants more. She lets him slide his thumb down the smooth column of her throat, tracing her pulse, until she tips her head back and parts her lips in a gasp. His mouth nips at her jaw, her pulse on her neck, up to her ear before returning to her mouth, finding it already open, waiting on a catch in her breath.

This time he kisses her harder, lips moving with the force of weeks worth of wanting. The hand she had fisted in his shirt uncurls and moves to the back of his neck, threading through the hair at the base of his scalp. She tugs at it until he moans her name.

She finds she likes that. She likes making him moan her name in such a pleasurable way. She likes seeing Ray Hall, who’s kissed a hundred girls, who’s fucked just as many, come undone under her touch. She takes great pleasure in it so she does it again as she pushes her body against his.

Gripping her hips he turns them and backs her into his truck, then with a slide of his hands over her butt, he grips her thighs and lifts her. Heather wraps her legs around his waist as he pushes her into the truck and the feel of his cock pressed against her center is the most mind blowing sensation. Heather drops her head back with a loud gasp and Ray makes his way down her throat. In one swift move he’s pulled her jersey open and his mouth continues over her collarbone and down her chest. He growls briefly at her tank top but it’s easily pushed aside as his hands smooth across her sports bra. Her nipples are already hard and she cries out when he slides a rough hand over them.

“Ray. We can’t. Not here.” She manages to get out in staggered breaths.

He stops, pulling back just an inch, she tightens her legs around his waist in fear he’s going to pull away completely.

“Parking lots empty, love.” He says turning back to her. His eyes cut down to her almost exposed breasts and then lower. She bites her lip when he thrusts against her, “But you’re right.”

She gasps as he moves them to the side and then opens the passenger door to his truck. After a brief kiss to her lips he sits her on the edge of the seat and smiles brilliantly up at her.

“What are you doing?” She asks and he raises an eyebrow as he takes her leggings and slides them over her hips and down her legs.

“Gonna taste you. Finally.” He growls and pushes her back, her arms catching herself on his seat. She watches with hooded eyes, her breaths short with anticipation, as he starts his descent down to her center. Just as his eyes are level with her clit, he looks up at her with concern, “This okay?” He asks. And her heart melts that much more.

“God, yes.” She whispers and grabs a handful of his hair as his tongue does one quick slide up her slit.

Ray gives head like he does most things. With lots of enthusiasm and excitement. And Heather appreciates every moment of it. It doesn’t take long for her to come with his name on her lips once he has two thick fingers in her and he’s sucking on her clit. He comes up grinning after and she laughs.

“So, that just happened.”

She sits up and grabs his jersey, pulling him to her, sliding her hands over his bare skin, “I want more.” She whispers against his lips and he chuckles. But then, as her hand slides over his stomach and inside the waistband of his pants, he pulls away.

“What?” She asks.

“Not here. Not like this.”

Heathers confused for a moment. And she feels very exposed as he steps back.

“Hey.” He whispers after seeing the look on her face. He runs a hand over her hair, “I want to. Fuck, do I want to.”

“Then why not?” She asks as she attempts to pull her pants back up. She’s starting to feel embarrassed and she doesn’t like it one bit. She had thought …. Well it didn’t matter what she thought.

“Any other girl I would have already fucked and been on my way. But you. Heather, you’re not any other girl.”

“Oh.”

He leans close, his lips just millimeters from hers, “Yeah, oh.” And he kisses her.

The next day, Heather unfortunately has to work. She is absolutely useless as she spends the entire time thinking about Ray and his tongue. She’s sure she has a blush on her face through most of the day and it’s embarrassing. She meets with Natalie during her break and she confesses that things got a little heated with Ray after the game.

Natalie just raises an eyebrow as she leans back on her hands, “I don’t get it. At all. But,” she shakes her head, “Everyone heard his confession.” She stands up, dusting off her hands before helping Heather up, “Can’t say I blame ya after that.”

Heather smiles. She knows she’ll never truly get her friend's approval but it’s enough.

She finds Rayout on the dock. Shirtless as he leans against a post, a beer in his hand, a cigarette tucked behind his ear. He’s exactly as she always pictured him. Nothing has really changed since they kissed the night before, but it feels like her world has tilted.

She approaches and he turns when he hears her footsteps on the dock. She waves shyly and he gives her his mega watt smile.

“Hey Nill.”

She sits beside him, closer than she would have the day before. He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. Instead he nods to the ice chest, “Want a beer?”

“I’m okay.”

He drains the rest of his can and tosses it aside. They sit there for a while, watching the sun set silently together. Neither feel the need to fill the silence and Heather is thankful for that.

“So we kissed.” He says breaking the silence.

She knocks her shoulder against his, “I mean you’ve technically kissed most of the girls in our class.”

“True.” He winks at her and she laughs. He quickly turns serious though, “Just so you know it meant something to me.”

She studies him for a moment, his eyes never leaving hers, “Me too.” She finally admits.

“So. What does that mean for us?”

She shrugs, “I mean technically you don’t date, right?”

He looks back out to the water and she doesn’t realize she’s holding her breath until he says the next words, “Well. For you, I might be willing to make an exception.”

“Might?” She teases.

He laughs as he takes her hand and brushes his lips across the inside of her wrist. Her breath hitches and he smiles wickedly as he grabs her waist and pulls her into his lap.

“If you drop me in the water, Ray, I swear to God,”

“I’m not going to drop you, woman. Stop squirming.” His arms wrap around her back and she feels secure against him as his mouth meets hers. She opens to him willingly and the next time she squirms it’s for pleasure instead of fear.

He pulls his mouth from hers and starts a descent down her neck.

“I feel like I’m falling.” She tells him. He pulls his mouth from her and looks at her with wide eyes, “Not like that.” She says with a laugh, “I mean falling like … like when you jump from Pilots Point.” She traces a finger over his jaw, her eyes following, making his jaw jump with a tick, “You know that feeling between the jump and the landing in the water?” He gives a silent nod, “That’s what this feels like.”

His voice is rough when he responds with a “Yeah.”

She smiles at him, “I love that feeling.”

He brings his mouth closer to hers and just before kissing her again says, “Me too.”

Fin.

[maxineswritingcenter]

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader part 18

I’ll be switching point of views for this one so buckle your seat belts. I just hope I do the character’s justice because it’s been a minute since I watched the show. Also going to be changing the perspective because... My writing makes no sense and it probably never will. 

--------------------

“I'm saying we need a new plan, because next time, one of us is going to be too hurt to heal.” Derek led Scott and I into the subway car in the middle of the abandoned depot. The unfortunate reality is that Jackson was no longer Jackson, and we only had one option left. 

Scott sighed, “Ugh, I get it. We can't save Jackson.”

Derek sat down on one of the seats, “We can't seem to kill him, either. I've seen a lot of things, Scott. I've never seen anything like this. Every new moon's just gonna make him stronger.” He said grimly.

“But how do we stop him?”

“I don't know. I don't even know if we can.” He shrugged, sounding defeated. I could imagine how he felt, powerful but so helpless. 

“Maybe we should just let the Argents handle it...” He suggested. 

“I don’t know if they could help.” I crossed my arms over my chest, “Chris filled him with lead and it didn’t stop him. I don’t think they could handle it either.”

“I'm the one who turned him. It's my fault.” Derek let his head hang. 

“That’s not true.” I looked at him sternly.

“You didn't turn him into this! I mean, this happened because of something in his past, right?” Scott asked.

Derek scoffed, “That's a legend in a book. It's not that simple.”

“What do you mean? What aren't you telling me?”

“Why do you think I'm always keeping something from you?” He looked up at Scott.

“Because you always are keeping something from me!”

“Well, maybe I do it to protect you. Both of you.”

“Doesn't being part of your pack mean no more secrets?”

Derek sighed, looking down at his hands, “Go home, Scott. Sleep. Heal. Make sure your friends are safe... 'Cause the full moon's coming, and with the way things are going, I've got a feeling it's gonna be a rough one.” Scott left with a huff, leaving Derek and I alone. 

“Der...” I said softly, running my fingers through his dark hair. He closed his eyes, humming softly. 

“You can’t blame yourself, you could have never imagined what could have happened.” 

“I thought there was something wrong with my bite.” His voice was barely audible, “Something wrong with me.” 

“No, no, no.” Kneeling down, I cupped his cheeks in my hands, “There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect.” 

“You have to say that. I’m your mate.” 

I only cringed a little at his use of the word “mate” unironically, “That’s not true. I give you criticism at any chance I get. But that’s mostly because you keep turning kids into soldiers.”

“I guess you’re right.” His lips turned up slightly, “You’re like my conscience, but a lot better looking than this mug.”  He leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. Grinning, I kissed his nose and stood up. 

“I gotta get home, make sure everyone’s alright. I’ll see you later.” I winked, making my way out of the depot. 

-

I got home late, but not any later than the usual lately. As soon as I closed the door, I saw Uncle Noah at the kitchen table. He was pouring whiskey into a glass, probably wasn’t his wish. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked like he hadn’t slept or showered in a while. Walking quietly, I placed my hands on his shoulders, squeezing lightly. 

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He looked up at me slowly, blinking his pale green eyes at me. 

“I don’t know what I did wrong, (Your Mom’s Name).” He said, “(Y/N) is so distant and she won’t talk to me anymore.” I was told once or twice that I resembled my mother, but in his drunkenness, he must have thought I was her.

“I mean, hell... She was dating someone for months and she didn’t even tell me. Sure, he was a person of interest... But he was also her friend.” 

Smiling softly, I guided him to a standing position, “No, Noah, she’s just going through a lot right now. She’s still learning and growing. And you’re doing the best job you can and she loves you for it.” I helped him to his room and into bed.

“Goodnight, (Y/M/N).” He yawned, pulling the covers over himself and closing his eyes. 

“Goodnight, Noah.” I said, closing the door behind me. I took a deep breath and went down the hall to Stiles’ room. He was sleeping away in the most ridiculous position possible, having fought off a kanima and saving his friend from death. I was just happy to see him there, alive and breathing. 

“Goodnight, Stiles.” I whispered, closing his door all the way. 

-

It was the night of the full moon and my body was already feeling the effects of it. But since my self training/ anger management was doing well, Derek gave a hesitant okay for working with Scott’s Scooby Gang to keep a look out at Lydia’s birthday party. Derek and I had the betas in the railway car in the depot. He was looking through his family’s chest again. 

“What is that?” Isaac asked, looking quizzically at the symbol on the box. 

“It’s a triskele.” Boyd said, “The spirals mean different things: past, present, future; mother, father, child.” 

“Do you know what it means to me?” Derek asked. 

“Alpha, Beta, Omega?”

“That’s right. It’s a spiral, it reminds us that we can rise to one.”

“And fall to another.” I finished. It was one of the few things I remembered word for word from the research we did back when Derek was cousin Miguel. 

“Betas can become Alpha, but Alphas can fall to Betas, or even Omegas.” Derek said, continuing to look through the box. 

“Like Scott?” Isaac asked. 

“Scott’s with us.” 

“Really?” Isaac’s voice held just a touch of sarcasm, “Then where is he now?”

“They’re looking for Jackson.” He looked pointedly at me, then back to the group, “Don’t worry, they’re not gonna have it easy either. None of us will. There’s a price you pay for this kind of power. You get the ability to heal” He handed a leather belt connected to a chain to Isaac, “But tonight, you’re gonna want to kill anything you can find.”

“Good thing I had my period last week then.” Erica chuckled. Derek pulled a metal crown from the box, there were screws turned inwards towards where someone’s head would be. 

“Well, this one's for you.” Erica’s face immediately changed. Beeping made me look down at my phone. 

Stiles: 

2006 Swim Team - Lahey was the Coach.

“That’s my cue to leave.” I shoved my phone in my pocket and backed out of the open door, heading out into the open depot. 

“Wait.” Derek called after me, catching me before leaving out the door in my car that was finally back from the shop. 

“Yes?” I sing-songed, turning around to face him. 

“I wanted to give you something.” He said, reaching into the pocket of his jeans, “You have something from Stiles but you should have something from me. Something that means... More.” From his pocket he produced a silver ring, it had a twisted band towards the top with a triskele cut out of the metal. 

I started down at the ring in shock, “Is... Is this a proposal?” His eyes widened.

“No.” He squeezed his eyes shut, “I mean, not yet. This... This is a promise. For both of us. You uh, could wear it on your ring finger if you want though-That is if you want it-” I silenced his babbling with my lips.

“I love it.” I smiled, taking the ring and sliding it on my left ring finger. It fit surprisingly, “Thank you.”

“Tonight... I’m probably going to get hurt. Just try to block it out as much as you can.” 

“Sounds good. I love you.” I cupped his cheek. 

“I love you.” He smiled. My hand slipped from his cheek and I made my way out of the depot. 

-

I parked outside of Lydia’s house and I was actually able to park in her driveway. From what I remember, Lydia’s parties, especially her birthday parties, were supposed to be insane and packed. Yet, I could only see Roscoe. Which meant that Stiles was finally invited. Good for him. I knocked on the front door and waited, slipping my hands into my jacket pockets. 

The door opened, revealing Lydia who was vaguely confused by my being at her door. She tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes at me. 

“Sarah?” 

“(Y/N).” I corrected her. 

“Oh. Well, come in.” She opened the door further, revealing the tray of pink cocktails in her hand, “Have a drink.” I grabbed a pink drink from the tray and cheered it towards her as I went inside, going straight to the back where Scott, Stiles and Allison were sitting on the deck of the pool. 

“Is this... everyone?” I asked, sitting besides Stiles in a lawn chair. 

"Maybe it's just early?" Scott said, not believing it himself.

Stiles said grimly, "Or maybe nobody's coming because Lydia turned into the town whack job."

"Well, we have to do something because we've completely ignored her for the past two weeks..." Allison said.

"She's completely ignored Stiles for the past ten years." Scott pointed out.

"I prefer to think of it as I haven't been on her radar." Stiles said in an offended tone.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." I patted his shoulder. 

Scott sighed, “We don't owe her a party.”

“What about the chance to get back to normal?” Allison crossed her arms over her chest.

“Normal?”

She shrugged, “She wouldn't be the "town whackjob" if it wasn't for us.”

Scott nodded, “I guess I could use my co-captain status to get the lacrosse team here...”

I pulled out my phone, “I could pull some strings with some people from my year.” I found the group text I had gotten from when I had been abducted, typing in Lydia’s address and the promise of a party and booze. 

“Yeah, I also know some people who can get this thing going. Like, really going.” Stiles said, looking down at his phone. He was looking through his contacts, finding: Drag Queen from Jungle.

“Who?” She asked. 

“I met them the other night... Let's just say, they know how to party.” He sent off the text then looked over at me. 

“What is that?” He asked, motioning with his phone to my left hand. 

“A ring. You know what those are, right?” I sipped my drink. 

Stiles’ jaw clenched, looking towards the sidewalk, “You gonna marry him.” 

“It’s not an engagement ring, it’s a promise ring.” 

“Whatever.” He got up, walking inside. I avoided Scott and Allison’s awkward gaze and just took a large gulp of my drink. 

In the next ten minutes, the amount of people who showed up was pretty astounding. Town whack job or not, promise people booze and they will come. Walking through the crowd, I saw people that I used to hang around with. A lot of people gave their condolences, lots of staring, sad smiles, but that’s how it was. 

“A little jumpy are we, Jackson?” I took a sip out of my drink. 

While walking through it hit me - shitty, over priced cologne. And possibly, a terrible attitude. And lizard. I turned quickly and saw Jackson. He was startled by my sudden movement. 

He narrowed his eyes at me, then looked away, “I don’t have to explain myself to someone who makes minimum wage.”

"I would watch my back if I were you, (Y/L/N). Full moon makes me feel a certain way." I chuckled and looked down, craning my neck back up to flash him my red eyes.

“Maybe it’s because you’re not a disgusting lizard thing right now, but I could care less that you are trying to intimidate me. You don’t even know why you came here tonight, do you? You’re certainly not here for Lydia.” 

It was my turn to narrow my eyes, “You don’t know why you’re here. So that means...” The puppeteer was here, “Good talk, gotta go.” As I walked quickly, trying to find Scott or Stiles, I found Matt getting a drink from Lydia, but he really wasn’t looking at Lydia. He had his eyes trained on Allison and the way he wasn’t looking at her reminded me of the night Michael took me. I didn’t like Allison at the best of times considering she shot me and all, but this was too much to ignore. As I walked towards Matt I was halted, like my feet didn’t want to move from what I saw. Derek was standing by himself near the outside of the house. I walked up to him quickly. 

“Derek, what are you doing here? Where are the others?” They couldn’t have transformed then transformed back by now, there was no way. 

“There’s been something I’ve been thinking about.” He swirled the drink in his hand, the same drink everyone else had, “You have a habit of making people miserable or getting them killed.”

“Excuse me?” I squinted at me, swallowing thickly. My throat felt dry and was it getting hotter?

“Think about it. Your parents think you’re too weak to keep your secret so they take your life from you, taking you from me. You’re the reason your parents are dead. You got Michael killed.” He stepped forward and with every step, I took one back, “I’m just wondering when it’s my turn to die or even Stiles.” 

“Derek, I-” My eyes were watering. 

“How about I kill Stiles for you? Save some blood for your hands. Or,” He chuckled, “Would you rather do it yourself.” He started to walk back towards the party. I grabbed his arm to stop him when he abruptly turned. 

“You know what, I’ll just let you kill me. You can handle the rest on your own.” He grabbed my wrist and jerked it, my claws flicking out. I tried to pull my wrist away but his grip was too strong. 

“No, stop!” I screamed as he slashed my claws across his throat, blood spraying across my face. Suddenly, Derek and blood were gone. All the party goers were going about their business, I was the only one who had seen Derek use my own hands to kill him. I looked over my hand and made sure the blood had been imagined. My eyes were then brought to the pink drink in my hand. This had to be the reason... Lydia spiked the drinks, but with what? I couldn’t even remember how many of these I had. To make matters worse, my stomach got super queasy-

I turned to the bushes and threw up everything that I had eaten that day. If I didn’t feel great, it was worse now. I got a few disgusted looks but that was the least of my problems. I dumped my drink in the bushes and started to stumble forward, looking to find Scott or Stiles. Thinking about it now, my mouth was starting to get itchy which was possibly the worst possible feeling to add onto everything else. I went into the house and upstairs, finding Matt groaning on the floor and Allison rushing passed me. 

“Matt?” I asked, helping him off the ground, “What happened to you?” Once on his feet, he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Allison happened. She put me flat on my ass.” Probably with good reason. 

He squinted at me, “Are you alright?” I shook my head. 

“Not really. You got gum or something, that drink left the worst taste in my mouth.”

“No,” He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a white pill bottle, “But I have some pain meds.” 

“That’ll work.” I took the bottle then looked behind me, grabbing a water bottle out of someone’s hands.

“Hey!” The person glared. I glared right back, “Not the time, freshman.” This seemed to scare him enough for the kid to walk away. I opened the bottle and popped the blue capsule in my mouth and chased it with what was not water but actually vodka. 

“Jesus!” I spat to the side, “What is wrong with people?” I looked at the bottle, realizing that it had no label. 

“Hey, what was that? Tylenol? Ibuprofen?” 

Matt smiled, “Mistletoe actually.” I blinked at him, my heart dropping into my stomach. 

“What?”

“Mistletoe.” He chuckled, “That’s supposed to knock you guys out, right?” I took a step back and hit the doorframe, already feeling the effects of the poison in my system. 

“Using Jackson to kill my murderers is good, but I need protection. You protected me once. From Lahey. And you’re gonna protect me again, whether you like it or not.” 

SCOTT

Scott pushed through the crowd, asking anyone who would listen if they had seen Lydia. The drinks she had made had been spiked to create hallucinations. We had to find out why. She spiked the punch with wolfsbane petals which seemed to cause Stiles and Allison to hallucinate too.

Outside, Stiles ran up to Scott, “Hey, I can't find her. And dude? Anyone who drank that crap, they're freaking out.” They watched two people cannonball into Lydia’s pool with all their clothes on. 

“...I can see that.”

“What the hell do we do?”

“I don't know, but we gotta-”

“I can't swim!” Both their heads turned. Matt was being carried by three people, he was flailing and panicking, “No, no, no, no, stop, guys! I can't swim! I can't swim! I can't-I can't-” The partiers didn’t listen, throwing him into the pool. He went under immediately. And to their surprise, Jackson and (Y/N) ran to the poolside and both pulled him out. 

Once on the pool deck, (Y/N) got Matt on his side, helping him cough up any water he swallowed. They both helped him to stand. Everyone was staring at that point.

“...What are you looking at?” Matt barked at the gawking crowd. Jackson took the time to make his exit. (Y/N) walked towards Scott and Stiles, Matt close behind her. 

“Move.” She growled, flashing her bright red eyes. The two parted, letting (Y/N) and Matt through. Immediately after, a siren cut through the air. 

“COPS ARE HERE!” Someone in the crowd shouted, causing the party goers to scatter. Scott and Stiles followed the ground out and onto the street. Scott looked down the street and saw them. Matt was standing in front of his car, dripping wet and seething with rage. Jackson in his kanima form was in front of him on all fours and (Y/N) stood at his right, claws out and fangs bared. He’d been under their noses for so long but now that they know, that meant they were in danger, all of them.

----------------

Read Part 19 here!

Who needs a point a view when you’re under mind control, ammi right?

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[theinfinitybucky]

Undercovers (Bucky Barnes x Reader) - Part 2

Part One

Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Undercover AU)

Original Request: can you do an enemies to lover fic with bucky where the reader saves him or something and he’s all like “why’d you do it? i’m awful to you.” and she’s like “i would never let anyone die. You might drive me insane, but I see that there is good in you” thanks!

Author’s Note: I had waaaaaay too much fun writing this chapter.

Warnings: cussing

    A couple hours later, you arrived at the hotel in a black town car. Bucky tipped the driver which received protest from you because the driver was a freaking SHIELD agent. He didn’t take back the money with your objections which irked you even more. With an attempt to brush off the frustration that failed, you got out of the car and stalked into the hotel. Bucky followed behind your tracks as you hardly even noticed the beautiful tall and marble ceiling of the lobby where a fountain stood in the middle of the room. He certainly took in the scene with a smirk on his face because the whole thing was comical to him.

    “Check in for-.” You began yet the words caught in your throat.

    You felt Bucky come up behind you and slid his hand around your waist. Your body grew rigid the moment his hand gripped you. He finished the words coming off your lips, “-Mr. And Mrs. Christopher Altwell.”

    Get it together, Y/N. If you want to get this over faster, you need to get it together. Whether the words registered or not was a fantastic question. The manager finished checking you in and handed “Christopher” two room key cards. You dragged your suitcase, which had magically appeared beside you, away from the front desk and stopped in your tracks when you spotted Marcus holding his suitcase reading a bulletin. Bucky paused with his chest pressing to your back.

    “That’s him.” You whispered to him with your lips hardly moving. Bucky looked over to the tall golden haired man. You jumped in front of him quickly. “Don’t make it obvious!” You gasped at him in a hushed tone. The months that had been spent on tracking this man had ended. Here they were in a new ball game.

    “You’re making it more obvious by jumping around like that! We’re going to have to interact sometime. Now is better.” He hissed back. Before you could protect he was already walking towards Marcus and it was too late to stop him because it would be obvious. You followed closely behind, unhappy that Bucky was doing this so soon. You had been tailing Marcus for months and never spoken to him. Now Bucky was here to screw the whole mission up in a matter of minutes. 

You waited nervously a few steps away from Bucky and Marcus who were conversing animatedly for a second before deciding that it would be weird to not go and join your “husband”. You strolled up and set your hand light on Bucky’s back and his arm came around you. You resisted the urge to jerk away from him.

“Marcus, this is my beautiful wife.”

You glanced up at him as your eyes met for a split second.

“It’s nice to meet you, Marcus. My name is Sarah.” You reached out and shook his hand with a fake smile on your face.

“Sarah…” Marcus cooed your name making your skin crawl. His hand held yours for a second too long. “Do I know you from somewhere?” Your blood ran cold and Bucky tensed slightly. He must have remembered you from a restaurant.

“No, I don’t believe we have met. So what were you and my husband discussing?” You let his hand go and he let yours drop to your side. Bucky seemed relieved that the subject was changing. You still felt his eyes trained on you as you spoke.

“We were just talking about the dinner that is happening tonight. I believe we received that same table assignment at Marcus.”

“That’s great!” You exclaimed as Marcus’ phone rang with a jazzy and happy song. He picked it up and looked at who was calling. Awfully cheerful for someone who is going to attempt to murder a whole coninent. What a contrast of personality there can be even within a single person.

“Ah, I’ve got to take this. I’ll talk to you guys tonight.” 

Marcus turned away to answer the phone call as you waved to him. You were going to try and stay in the area all though Bucky slid his hand down your arm and pulled you away from the area. You pulled back for a second before Bucky shot you a look that said, ‘Come on, I’m pissed.’ You went ahead and followed behind him dragging your suitcase with you.

The hotel bustled with people going to and from the stores or restaurants within the fancy place. The sound of forks clicking on plates tinged over the soft rumble of chatter coming from one guest to another. Maids dragged their carts running to clean what they could before everyone checked into their rooms for the night. 

Bucky slipped his arm around your shoulder. The elevator rang as it arrived.

He mumbled in your ear, “You’re not making this believable.”

You stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed behind you. An elevator meant no cameras. No one was on the elevator with you either. You threw his arm off you immediately and snapped, “Excuse me!”

Bucky’s arm wasn’t even completely off you when your body was forced to the wall with a metallic bang. His face was so close to yours you could feel his hot breath. Your eyes locked with his blue frustrated filled orbs.

“You need to up your game or we are going to be found out and fast. You are my wife for the sake of this. Act like it.” He nearly sneered.

He pushed off you as the elevator dinged for your floor. Your jaw dropped with the elevator door opening. Bucky stepped off without saying anything further. It took you a second to run up to follow behind him. You did not say a word about what just happened. He was right even if the way he told you was frightening. You were too stubborn and Bucky thought that would be the only way to get it in your head that you needed to buck up for the mission.

Bucky scanned his keycard and held the door open for you to enter the hotel room. You didn’t meet his gaze as you rolled your suitcase in. Of course, Steve had said the hotel room was bugged so there was no breaking character now. The 2 second elevator ride would be the only moment of “peace”. The hotel room was not just a room, it was a full on suite courtesy of SHIELD. At least there was some upside to this. Or not... 

One fucking bed. I’m going to have to sleep in the same bed as him. Remind me to expose all of Rogers deepest darkest secrets when I get back. You noted in your mind. You should have thought of the sleeping arrangements when Steve told you the room was bugged. You should have thought of the sleep arrangements period. The situation just seemed to keep getting worse. Bucky rolled his suitcase into the corner then plopped down on the bed just to irritate you.

“I’m going to go begin getting ready for the dinner party, it starts in an hour.” You told him and Bucky nodded without meeting your eyes. You pulled your suitcase into the bathroom and shut the door.

After 30 minutes of getting ready, you heard a ding on your phone. You glanced down and saw that Steve had left you a text message. The text listed a time, date, and place that Marcus would be exchanging nuclear warfare codes with Eric Miller. You strolled out of the bathroom and found Bucky sitting on the white sofa with his back to you. An idea popped into your head on how to get Bucky to read the text without it being too obvious.

You strolled over to the back of the sofa and set your hand on Bucky’s shoulder. He jerked because you startled him and you grinned as the horrendous giggle escaped your lips. You continued with what you were doing and slid your hand down his chest and over his button down shirt. You wrapped your arms around his neck gently. Bucky felt the ends of your hair tickling his neck as you moved sensually. His body was completely frozen and he didn’t dare move. You brought your phone around and showed Bucky the text.

“Look at what Steve said.” You whispered into his ear with your lips brushing it. His skin crawled because of you touching him this way. Bucky noted what the text said and you pulled away from him. If Marcus had bugged the whole hotel and had a team monitoring the guests, you had to make this realistic. 

You slipped your arms off Bucky and strolled around to the front of the sofa and sat down beside him. His blue eyes watched you in curiosity about what had changed in you. Your actions were foreign to him.You touched his cheek and drew your fingers along his jawline. He tried to relax for a moment before your next movement shocked him even more. You leaned in slowly and paused for a split second as the bridges of Bucky’s nose brushed your own. Bucky did not move a millimeter as you continued to move. Your eyelashes fluttered as you glanced to his lips. Bucky thought he noticed a smirk on your lips before you pressed them to his and his eyes closed. Bucky’s arm wrapped tightly around your back to pull you to him as if it were a second nature.

He had said you weren’t making this believable enough. This is only a game. Checkmate.

Part three

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[chasingthepoguelife]

Lonely Boys Do Stupid Things Part 1

Lonely boys do stupid things Part 1

 (gif credits to @rafecameron​)

Summary: Rafe is tired of an already boring summer, constantly being judged by everyone on the island, and is looking for a challenge. When the group is introduced to the new girl hanging out with Kiara, Topper suggests a challenge and Rafe accepts only to be conflicted along the way.

 Author’s: So in this world Rafe is still a bad guy, just not a “I killed a cop and have all these daddy issues” bad, Topper hasn’t developed yet, and also John B hasn’t dragged anyone into his stupid shit and there is a civil ground between kooks and pogues and Ward isn’t a “I love two out my three children and murdered my friend” dad. For reference, I do not support Rafe’s canon character. I’m just blinded by the attraction I feel for him and I love Drew, but will never condone or excuse Rafe’s actions. Also, I’m not writing y/n with many descriptions. I know all types of people might read this and I want to make everyone feel included but I also don’t want to do it the wrong way so I’m leaving a lot of physical features up to the reader’s imagination. I would also accept tips and constructive criticism to be more of an inclusive writer.

 Warning: For part 1 I don’t think there is anything.

 Another summer week has come and passed for the kooks of Figure Eight. The Cameron kids made quite the headlines last year, Sarah dating a boy from the Cut, and the eldest Rafe Cameron, having to save one of his father’s many businesses after almost running it to the ground. The chatter and nosiness of other Figure Eight residents died down in the winter, but they always stick their noses in the Cameron’s business around summer time. Rafe awaited the month of September where he could escape to the mainland again, but after only two weeks down, and what felt like two years, he had no idea how he would survive the next six weeks.

 “Come on get up!” Rafe heard with a pillow meeting his face. He looked over at his clock, 1:30pm, and was greeted with Sarah hovering over his night stand.

 “Sarah, I have no desire to go anywhere except for the kitchen, “Rafe groaned.

 “I’m not going to let you wither away like a pathetic sap. Get your bathing suit on and head outside. We’re meeting John B and Kiara, even your friends bothered to tag along.”

 “Why do you have to make things even more fucked than they already are?” Rafe questioned.

 “If John B and I can move around the island and shut down the lonely gossiping housewives, then you can get on a boat!”

 After Rafe groaned and didn’t move for ten minutes, Sarah had to come back in to make sure he was alive and moving.

 “Five minutes Rafe!” Sarah yelled, pulling off his comforter.

 After fifteen minutes, Rafe managed to get himself dressed and meet his sister and John B on their father’s boat. Ward had suggested they take the boat for a joy ride, all day, wherever they wanted. A year ago, Rafe’s blood would’ve boiled at the thought of a pogue being so close, but things have changed. He actually admires how John B lives his life, not caring what other people think, although he’d rather choke before admitting he looks up to a younger pogue.

 “Ok so Rafe’s a sad sack that barley moves and John B as your girlfriend I automatically make the rules so we’re heading south to meet Kie for the day. I’m going to sail so you two make nice and enjoy the ride,” Sarah demanded.

 As Sarah started the boat’s engine, the group heard screaming, looking up towards the Cameron house, seeing a tall blonde boy in a pink polo, running like his life depended on it.

“You- said- 215pm- Sarah!” the boy gasped out of breath.

 “No Topper, I’m pretty sure I said 2,” Sarah said sarcastically.

 After almost a year, Sarah is still playing jokes on her ex- boyfriend and brother for the way they treated John B and his friends.

 “Rafe boy, you tired of me already?” Topper laughed.

 “Obviously, look at my new best friend here,” Rafe pointed to John B.

 “I’m going to get us beers if this is how the whole ride is going to be,” John B said.

 “You tired of us already Rafey?” Topper joked.

 “I’m always tired of you and Kelce,” Rafe laughed.

 “You know he’s on some better path spiritual shit this summer, giving up booze?” Topper said in disbelief (A/N: in season 2 I want better for Kelce as in he deserves better friends)

 “It has to be better than this. I don’t want to deal with everyone’s judgmental shit so I keep a low profile, and all that’s got me is a boat ride with my sister and John B, and to see more pogues!”

 Rafe and Topper have become more tolerant of the residents of the Cut, but no doubt they wake up every morning still thinking they’re a gift to this planet.

 “I don’t know if I can handle another 6 weeks of this shit, I’m going insane!” Rafe yelled.

 “I’m sure we will find something to fill those weeks. If we go looking long enough, something fun will fall in our lap,” Topper smirked.

 John B had come back with drinks for the group, actually engaging in civil conversation with his girlfriend’s ex and her loopy brother. The boys have adjusted to this civil relationship, something Figure Eight residents loved to gossip about. Not too long after, the kook boys started to see that they would be arriving shortly after passing Heywards, marking their entrance into pogue world. Rafe will never admit it, but the pogue he hates the most is Pope Heyward. He hates how hardworking and smart he is, how his father would do anything for him, but more so how he has an entire group of friends ready to drop everything to help him. Topper is his good friend, but there’s no way he’d do half the things John B and JJ do for Pope.

 “There’s Kie on her dad’s boat,” Sarah pointed out. “I’m going to anchor down close to hers and we can figure it out from there.”

 As Sarah found a good place to drop the anchor, everyone on the boat could here Kie and another voice mixing of loud laughter. Kie was running around on the boat deck as another girl the group had never seen before followed behind her. Surprised by the presence of unknown person, the group couldn’t help but stare.

 “Kie!” Sarah waved enthusiastically. The one good thing out of last year’s madness was that Sarah got her childhood best friend back. Kie and the unknown girl started making their way onto the Druthers as it is bigger than Kie’s boat. Everyone watched the girls make their way on, especially Rafe. He wasn’t sure what to make of this girl, but he definitely noticed her long legs climbing onto the boat and that’s when he thought, what else she was capable of doing with legs that long. His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a new voice.

 “I’m y/n”, she said as everyone stared.

 “Nice to meet you, y/n, I’m John B, this is Sarah, that’s Topper, and that last one is Rafe.”

 As y/n took in the new people in front of her, Topper noticed how her eyes kept lingering on Rafe.

 “Kie, are you going to tell us about your new gorgeous friend?” Topper smirked.

 “No, she won’t, but I will!” y/n chimed in.

 “Well obviously I’m y/n. I’m 18 years old. I’m new to the Outer Banks. My dad had to move us out here for a business deal that he’s got going with Kiara’s dad, I have a 14-year-old brother, and at any time you can either find me in the water or looking for snacks.”

 “Where do you live y/n”? John B asked.

 “Not too far. My parents managed to find a cute little house in the Marigold neighborhood. (A/N: I made this location up) Everyone except Kie stopped in their tracks. The group although already divided, had nothing to do with the residents of Marigold. Anyone in that area of the island was neither a pogue nor a kook. They really had no identity as they were not rich enough to be kooks but not poor enough to be a pogue from the Cut. Most people living there are Marigold born and raised, considered to be more of an outcast than pogues. The rest of the island didn’t know how to label Marigolds. There wasn’t enough money to buy a yacht, but you could still eat enough everyday and rest your head on a comfortable big bed every night.

 An awkward silence lingered in the group that no one knew how to break. Kie pulled y/n by the arm and explained.

 “Y/n I told you, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with where you live, but on this island, everyone is classist and territorial. You’re better off saying you’re from my neighborhood to make it easier for you.”

 “This group is already messed up, what’s one more thing to stir the pot? Welcome to the group y/n!” John B cheered.

 As the tension cleared in the group, the sun came out in full force. Sarah steered the Druthers further out into the ocean for a nice swim. The music began bumping, drinks were passed around, and y/n felt like she knew the group for years. After a few hours, the only ones who needed a break were Topper and Rafe. The two climbed back onto the boat to rest.

 “So, for a Marigold this new girl seems decent?” Topper questioned.

 “She’s alright, just not for me. The last thing I need on top of all this other shit is for me to be seen around the island with a girl like that. The Figure Eight would have a field day.”

 “Maybe that’s it,” Topper smirked. “This is something you’ve never experienced before. It would be a challenge. She’s not the worst thing to look at, you could have some fun with her.”

 “Top if I really wanted to, I could have my pick of any pogue or kook chick in my bed like yesterday,” Rafe boasted.

 “No man, hear me out. You have 6 weeks left. I challenge you to make her head over heels for you in that time. It will give you something to do, you’ll get some and then poof you leave for the mainland. By the time you see her again she’ll be over it. Plus, she seemed to focus on you a bit longer back at the docks so she probably already has a thing for youI get why we had to change with the pogues but at least they know where they stand. This girl thought she’d move here and live like she’s the main character of a tv show but it’s only going to cause more problems, “Topper shared his concerns.

 Rafe had to pause for a moment. Last year he would’ve said yes right away, but lately he’s been finding himself questioning his morals and values, thinking if he behaved more the gossip would stop. It would be wrong to mess with someone like this, but he is bored after all, and he doesn’t want to look like a pussy in front of Topper. He looked out into the ocean watching her swim so happily amongst the waves.

 “This is going to be the easiest thing I’ve ever done,” Rafe declared.

[poguesofthebau]

Idea to write for OBX!!!! The pogues just having a good evening together, like playing truth or dare like 16 year olds before the events of the show take place!!

heyo all, writing is hard for me recently so i decided that i would do something based off what real life is like right now with a lil inspo from this request tossed in :) hope you like it!! (naturally, reader is dating jj in this bc i can’t help myself hehe oops)

summary: jj, y/n, and the rest of the pogues (including sarah) live in the world we’re all currently living in: quarantine. so what happens when the craziest friend group in the obx are trapped inside the Chateau for weeks at a time without any authority figures or outsiders? to put it simply, anarchy happens. (alternate summary: what i wish i was doing during this stupid quarantine instead of sitting in my room to avoid my parents’ hovering.) (alternate, simple summary: a hot ass day in quarantine with the pogues.) word count: 2101

sticky. why the hell were you sticky?

you opened your eyes with a deep groan, peeling yourself from jj with a disgusted look on your face. “jj, get off of me.” you’d both been laying on your stomachs as you slept, but the boy had somehow wound up directly on top of you. it would’ve been kind of endearing, cute almost, to wake up so close to jj, if it wasn’t so fucking hot.

someone across the room laughed lightly, and you slipped out from under jj and flipped onto your back, sitting up and squinting to see who it was. when you saw sarah, kie, and pope staring at you from the table a few feet away from the pull-out couch, you let out an annoyed puff of air, raking a hand through your bedhead to slightly calm it. leaning back on your hands, you glanced back down at your boyfriend. his nose was scrunched up, and his hand started rustling around the sheets until it made contact with your right calf. satisfied, his face relaxed again. before you could look back to your friends, pope was speaking. “i don’t know how the two of you managed to sleep like that all night. with those body temperatures combined, i’m pretty sure you should’ve burst into flames by like, 2am.”

“c’mon, pope,” sarah smirked. “they’re in love. their feelings for each other, they’re hotter than anything. like, hotter than--”

“hotter than the flames in hell!” kie interrupted proudly. “and the obx may feel like it’s hotter than that already, but--”

“nothing compares to their sacred, burning love.” sarah and kie both smiled smugly at their own ability to finish each other’s sentences, fist bumping as pope shook his head. “that was good. i love us.” the girls giggled again, and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit too.

“can you corny fucks shut the hell up? a guy can never get a wink of sleep around here, shit.” with that, jj was rolling over, too, a very unimpressed look plastered on his face as he scolded his friends. not as eager to be awake as you had been, jj groaned as he stretched, flopping into your lap on his back when he was finally done waking himself up. your hands naturally found their way to his hair, scratching at his scalp subconsciously as you looked around at the mess of the Chateau. “where’s jb at? and why is it so fucking hot in here?”

“you can’t really complain about body temps when you’re curled up in your girlfriend’s lap like a cat, bro,” pope pointed out. jj rolled his eyes as pope continued. “but since you asked so nicely, it’s the first heat wave of the year-- you’d know that if you ever listened to anything i say throughout the day. john b’s out trying to get food and water and stuff before it’s all gone.”

jj muttered something under his breath about wishing pope had gone out with their other friend as his eyes closed again at the feeling of your fingertips on his hairline. “you know what we should do today?”

“make out? at least let me brush my teeth first, you animal,” jj interjected. you flicked his nose, ignoring the comment otherwise. “oh, so you don’t wanna make out? alright, y/n, but just remember, it’s your rule!”

“jj, why does everything always have to be about you?”

“i have needs, kie!”

“okay, okay, okay, i think y/n had an idea. let the woman speak!” sarah quickly redirected.

“thank you,” you smiled pointedly at sarah. “i think-- and tell me if there are any objections-- i think, maybe, we should day-drink.”

as soon as the words left your mouth, the door beside you was swinging open with a creak, john b bursting into the room. “did someone say-- DAY-DRINK?” he held up a six pack of beer in each hand, that bright and proud john b grin plastered on his face. the entire group cheered, jumping up to help him bring in the groceries he’d gotten his hands on. “thanks to mr. c’s non-existent credit card limit, we are now loaded. thanks kie!” he tossed her dad’s card back on the table, the curly haired girl laughing at his words. kiara had somehow convinced her parents that spending her quarantine with the pogues at john b’s house was an acceptable idea, and they had even given her an emergency credit line for necessities and necessities only.

beer was an absolute need for the pogues, to be fair.

----

a few hours later, everyone was pretty day-drunk, so to speak.

sarah was currently engaged in a deep conversation with pope about why, exactly, he wanted to be a coroner so badly. you were in the middle of an arm-wrestling tournament against john b, with jj and kie passing the group’s second blunt of the afternoon back and forth. “y/n, your hand is fucking slippery!”

“fuck you, john b! it’s sweaty! haven’t you noticed that it’s a million damn degrees in this place?”

the arm wrestling tourney came to a close soon after, and the group went back to sweating, smoking, and throwing back beers. your feet wound up in jj’s lap as you tried to fan yourself with an empty, folded up cardboard box that one of the six-packs had come in. “hey kie, do you think your dad would mind if we used his credit card to buy a decent air conditioning system for this shithole? no offense, john b.”

“actually, y/n, i kind of take offense to that. just a little, you know?” you stuck your tongue out at your friend, throwing your piece of cardboard at him.

“you know, guys,” sarah spoke up. “me and my sister used to play this game--”

“oh, sarah, please tell me it’s not truth or dare with no dare.” john b’s face twisted into disapproval, and it was sarah’s turn to stick her tongue out at him.

“it is truth or dare with no dare, and i don’t hear any better ideas from anyone else, so we’re playing.”

jj’s hand came down on your ankle as he sat up and looked at the other blonde of the group. “actually, i’m thinking me and y/n will just roll another blunt and go hide in the guest room. that would be a better idea, i think.”

“no way, dumbass! if we have to do it, you two are sticking around for it too. pogues never abandon pogues, remember?” kie and her rules. “so, who starts?”

“well usually when i’ve played before it’s only been two people, so maybe i’ll ask the first question and we can all go around and answer?” jj groaned at this new development, causing you to smile. you flopped around on the futon a bit until your side was pressed against his, and he threw his arm around your shoulders once you’d settled. “okay, first question. um, let’s see... i don’t know. what’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?”

----

“weirdest place you’ve ever had sex. three, two, one, go!” jj pointed to john b, and the entire group erupted into laughter. john b was clearly struggling to think of an answer, and jj, who had become strangely invested in hour-long game, was running out of patience. “c’mon, man!”

“jesus christ, jj, i don’t know!” john b choked out through his laughs. “a bell tower, i guess?”

“great! sarah? where’ve ya done it, kook princess?” that one earned a smack on the arm from you, and jj quickly rephrased. “sorry! i meant, uh, where’ve ya-- i don’t know. just-- what’s your answer?”

sarah glanced between john b and jj, hesitating before she answered. “conveniently enough, my answer is also... a bell tower.”

with the ruckus that answer caused, you weren’t expecting the game to end any time soon.

----

“oh, my god. i finally don’t feel like i’m burning alive anymore.” pope threw his arms victoriously above his head as he made the statement, kie smiling at him and wrapping an arm around his waist.

“that’s how fucked the weather’s gonna be forever if humans don’t start taking care of the planet, pope. isn’t that crazy?” pope looked at her and nodded with a slightly terrified look in his eye, not finding the person kie became when drunk completely trustworthy to not flip out on him for his history of littering and excessive plastic use.

“you know, guys,” john b called out, quickly changing the subject. “this is kind of insane.”

“what do you mean, johnny boy? what’s so insane about a heat wave?” your head was pretty much buried in jj’s chest as you spoke, with his hands slowly tracing big circles in your back. the last blunt of the night had just been smoked, and it was hitting you both a little harder than the others had. for the past few minutes, you’d been thinking about you and jj finally making your way to the guest room for the more intimate one-on-one time that the weed had made you crave. as soon as he’d put the roach down, you’d crawled into his lap. the temperature had dropped reasonably, and the sticky feeling you’d experienced that morning was now completely out of the picture. your left hand was wrapped around jj’s neck, your right just hidden under his shirt as your thumb stroked back and forth just above his hip. jj had watched you nuzzle into that position through hooded red eyes with a little amused smile playing his lips, before returning the physical affection by sliding one hand reassuringly onto the back of your neck and letting the other draw shapes into your back.

by the time john b had finished gazing around lovingly at the group before answering, you had almost forgotten about having asked a question to begin with. “not the heat wave, y/n.” his correction reminded you of what the conversation had been, and your tilted your head up to make eye contact with jj. when you locked eyes, you knew jj was thinking the same thing as you: john b’s about to get corny and emotional. and you were both right. “seriously, look at us. isn’t this crazy?” you and jj smiled at each other, and you placed a loving kiss on his jawline before refocusing your sight on john b. “how did we all end up together? i mean, three losers who met in elementary school,” john b listed, looking to you and jj with a bright smile as you felt jj squeeze your neck lightly. “a weird kid who, for some reason, is totally obsessed with dead bodies and shit,” pope looked a john b awkwardly as kie giggled, slipping her hand into pope’s. “and a couple of fucking kooks.” sarah hummed from her spot next to john b, kie sarcastically saluting with her free hand. “you guys, somehow, we all got together, all found each other. what are the odds of that? what are the odds that we found this totally perfect, totally dysfunctional but perfect little family?”

before you could stop yourself, you felt the first tear slip down your face. “fuck you, john b,” you muttered quietly, taking your hand out from under jj’s shirt to swipe at the wetness on your face. scrubbing away the rest of the tears in your eyes before they could escape, you put your hand back down on jj’s arm this time.

“yeah, fuck you, john b. why you makin’ my girl cry, bro?” everyone chuckled softly, admiring each other in the moment. “alright, though, really. since she’s already crying, i guess i should say it now.” your head lifted back up to look at jj, and he looked back down at you as he continued. “i love you.” as you both broke into smiles, he looked back to your friends. “i love all of you guys. you’re all annoying as fuck, and i know i live for giving you all a hard time and stuff. but seriously. this is my family. pogues forever.”

“shit,” kie muttered this time, her thumb swiping under her own eyes as pope looked down at her adoringly. “pogues forever, guys. thank you for taking in us stupid kooks and letting us be who we are. pogues for-fucking-ever.”

“as corny as it sounds, i feel like we’re kind of required to group hug now,” pope added. “everybody up! i love you sickos and psychos, criminal records and all!”

and then, you all hugged the shit out of each other. pogue style.

[country-club]

tell me when it kicks in

Reader x Rafe Cameron Summary: you were having a shitty day and decided to go to a party at the Cameron’s. Your friend, Rafe, offers you cocaine. It gets steamy, however, with your mixed emotions and now intoxicated body, your anxiety starts acting up. Warnings: anxiety, mentions of alcohol, drugs and swearing. Let me know if I missed anything. Wordcount: 2.4k

A/n: I described what anxiety feels like for me. It’s not the same for everyone! I have never experienced with hard drugs, so most of the things I just looked up online..

Some days everything feels like shit. They feel like everybody and everything is against you, it is you against the world. Those days feels like all the songs about depression and loneliness you’ve ever heard. Today is one of those days.

It started the minute you woke up and checked your notifications. A picture of your ex showed up on your timeline, kissing the girl who was your best friend all through middle school. The caption read: happy 1 month. With tons of emoticons. You were still friends with the girl, and not only did she not tell you they were dating for an entire month, she also knew you weren’t completely over him.

You spent the day working from 9 to 6 at the shop. Sadly, you had to be the cashier for the day. It was hot and the AC wasn’t working. You had been stuck with the two most annoying colleagues you could imagine; one took too many smoke breaks which led to your break being cut short, and the other talked way too much the girls he had screwed over the weekend.

When you got home, your mom had already eaten dinner with your sibling and left you scraps in the oven. You took a long hot shower and warmed up the dinner your mom had bought. She doesn’t cook well.

There was an empty place on the wall in the kitchen where a photo of your family used to be. Your eyes looked around the kitchen, trying to find the picture. Only when you were cleaning up you noticed it being thrown into the trash bin.

“Mom!”

“What?” she yelled back from the living room. She sounded tipsy, already.

“Did you throw our family picture in the trash?” You walked over to her, holding the picture up. She didn’t even look at you. “Mom! It’s the only picture with dad in it and it never bothered you before.” It is the only picture with him in it. Your mother hasn’t talked to him since the divorce and never seemed to mind the picture, seeing how it’s been a good couple of years now and it hasn’t been taken down.

Minutes after you put it back up, your mother started shouting around the house. She was a nice, smart lady, who likes to have a couple of wines to many combined with the daily sleeping pill. The two of you got along okay, just not when she’s like this. She yelled about what a shitty person your father was and blamed you for her problems, which is totally unfair. You tried to ignore her, not wanting to get into a fight.

“You know what mom, I’m out of here.” And with that you were out the door. She didn’t bother walking after you.

At this point your mind was set on one thing: getting shitfaced and forgetting about this day and its events. And on that note, you drove over to the Cameron’s house. It’s summer which means parties every night at Figure 8.

You didn’t hang out with the Cameron’s much, though you and Rafe would usually be around each other at parties. The two of you flirted a lot, you were friendly. Rafe and you never hung out one on one but seemed almost inseparable when you were with a group of mutual friends. Your friendship was rather normal for the longest time; you didn’t talk about personal things; you would do shots together and sit on his lap at parties. He held your hair when you were throwing up and you would help him mess with Topper. At some point in your friendship one of your friends dared you to kiss him. As drunk as you were, you did. You got up, sat down stripper style on his lap which got you a ton of cheers, and gave him a little kiss on the lips. Rafe had smiled from ear to ear and laughed it off. It had been the same week as your breakup. Things weren’t necessarily tense since, just different. You wouldn’t sit on his lap and the little touches on your shoulders were enough to make you nervous.

There you were, getting out of your car and walking onto the property of the Cameron’s. It looks like a busy night tonight. The yard was crowded, and you were stopped at least 5 times while making your way to the booze. Some asked how you were doing and told you it was nice to see you, a couple of people brought up your ex’s new partner. You mixed in something to drink and tried to find someone to hang out with.

“Hey, Y/n, how you been?” Topper asked as he stopped walking.

“I’m good,” You lied. “where you headed?” You hoped he knew where to find Rafe.

“Basement, want to come with?” Of course, he was going to the basement. No doubt Rafe would be there as well. You followed Topper through the crowd as he led you to the basement, which was a little less crowded. There were a bunch of people rounded up around the couch, mainly girls. You were aware that Rafe was taking and selling cocaine and would bring it to parties. Never had you had the urge to try it, so he never asked. Topper walked past the girls at did this weird little handshake thing with Rafe. Once Topper was done talking to Rafe he sat down next to some girl. Like you, Topper too turned to alcohol when he was feeling down. Not because he necessarily needs to, but his friends keep ‘pressuring’ him to. He’s been going to more parties and throwing them more often as well, since he and Sarah split. With Topper being around more, the two of you grew closer and would hang out outside of parties. He opened up about the performance pressure he felt growing up and in return you told him about your anxiety. You explained to him how much it sucked during high school and the panic attacks you would have when nobody was around. The two of you didn’t bring it up much, but you knew and understood each other a bit better.

Right now, you’re staring around the room, not paying attention to the loud music and conversations going on. Rafe must have noticed you as he was currently standing next to you.

“Glad you came, Y/n.” You did your best to focus on what he was saying. However, you didn’t reply. You weren’t glad you came, just glad you had somewhere to go instead of spending the night home.

“You look like you could use another drink, can I get you something?” All the girls sitting around the coffee table looked like they were having a great time. They didn’t seem to care what anyone thought, and in this moment, you needed not to care about anything.

“Rafe, can I try some?” You were shy to ask, not sure how he would reject. He wrapped his arm around you.

“Sure, baby.” He took you over to the coffee table and made some lines with his credit card. Topper noticed how focused you were and tapped your arm.

“Are you sure, Y/n? Do you know the effects of a cocaine high?” You laughed. You knew he cared, and you knew of the effect of cocaine; you might get anxious or paranoid, however it could also make you confident and give you energy. Rafe sat down in a chair as some of the girls and Topper started doing lines, leaving one for you. You kneeled down and prayed you wouldn’t embarrass yourself. You did your worst and got up again. There weren’t any places left for you to sit so you awkwardly stand in the middle of the circle. Rafe pulled you onto his lap, resting his hand on your leg. You were unsure of when the cocaine would kick in; maybe it already did? It was already hot as hell down here, but it just got even hotter.

“It will only last up to 30 minutes, Y/n.” Rafe whispered.

“It’s like really hot in here.” The others didn’t really notice you or decided to simply focus on anything else. “Can we go outside?” Rafe was about to answer as you already got up of his lap. Your body was suddenly filled with energy, not the tiredness you were feeling before. You told Topper you’d be right back as you took ahold of Rafe’s hand.

“Y/n? I don’t think you should go outside right now-“ He tried to argue as you were already out of the basement. Rafe stopped you from walking out.

“I feel amazing, Rafe. Why haven’t we done this before?” Rafe’s tranquility calmed you down. He liked you too much for you to go down the same road he has.

You felt like you were on top of the world and would get away with anything even though you could barely feel your legs.

“Can I try something?” You have been wanting to try this for the longest time, well, ever since you kissed him on that dare. Rafe nodded as if to give you permission. You got on your toes as Rafe bend down. Your mouth made its way to Rafe’s ear.

“Have you ever been with someone while high?” Rafe cupped your cheeks as you brought your lips back down, placing them on his. Gently at first but getting needier by the second.

“Not yet.” He said once he let go of your lips and took your hand in his. “Would you like to go upstairs?” He checked in with you. You did. The two of you made your way to his room. It was big, that was really the only thing you noticed, your focus being only on Rafe. He barely closed the door as you pushed him against the wall with you body and kissed him. Your hands were on his waist as his found their way to your ass.

You really wanted this. Him. He lifted you up in air so you could wrap your legs around his waist. Making out as he holds you and makes his way to the bed. Rafe lowers you and puts you down on the bed. You scoot backwards to make room for Rafe to crawl on top of you. He hovers over you, holding your side in one hand and with the other holding himself up. You hold his face as you kiss him, lowering your hands to the hem of his shirt. He lets go of your side, sits up and takes the piece of clothing off, revealing his torso. He leaned back down, kissing your neck.

His hands on your body made you feel like you were going insane, craving for more. The feeling of his warm hands on your skin was perfect. Everything you had imagined, and better. It didn’t feel right. No. A feeling of unease overcovered you. The confidence you felt flew out the door. You let go of Rafe’s lips and he stopped unbuttoning your shirt. He noticed you weren’t paying any attention to him anymore.

“Y/n?”

You could hear and feel your heartbeat going over 150 beats per minute. The beats were loud, and your vision was getting blurrier by the second.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

You felt vulnerable, laying on your back. So, you sat up straight, trying to breathe. The heaviness on your chest made it hard to. Maybe Topper was right and taking cocaine was a bad idea. Maybe Rafe was only here because you took cocaine. You didn’t want to look like a fool to him. Maybe that is why you broke up with your ex and they found someone who has their shit together. You are not foolish for being anxious. Oh god, why are you breathing so loud?

You didn’t want to look at Rafe. You weren’t sure why you were freaking out. Your heart was pounding out of your chest. And then you felt two arms wrap around you. Rafe held you close and laid back down on his side, taking you with him. You were facing each other, though your face was more facing his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, beating at a normal rate. As normal as yours felt right now. Rafe was breathing in and out and telling you to do the same. You tried to. Your arms were wrapped around his torso and you held onto him. He whispered some sweet nothings into your ear until you calmed down.

And you did, your head and body calmed down and you were tired.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered; your face now stuffed in Rafe’s neck.

“Are you alright, Y/n?” Rafe was rubbing your back softly. You nodded.

“I think so. I can’t imagine how big of a mess I must look like right now.”

“You’ve looked better.” He joked. “Come here, baby.” Rafe sat back up and you followed his lead. “How’s your head?” You sit facing each other, his hand holding yours.

“Confused and tired.”

“Understandable. You can stay the night if you’d like.”

“Are you asking me to sleep with you?” You were joking, obviously.

“If we can actually sleep, then yes. It has been a long alright.”

It wasn’t awkward between you two. You had calmed down but were left with a lot of mixed feelings and not wanting to take cocaine again for a while.

“How long have we been gone?” You ask while fixing your shirt. Rafe put his on again as well.

“About 30 minutes. Almost as long as a trip should take. How was it?”

“Never again.” Rafe laughed at your comment. “However, it did make me realize I really like kissing you.”

“Maybe we should continue when we’re sober?” You agreed and gave Rafe a kiss on his cheek.

“That’d be lovely.” Rafe got up off the bed and offered you his hand. You took it and got up as well, being pulled into a hug. “Are you alright going back outside for a bit? You can stay in here if you’d like.” You didn’t want to stay alone in his room. You decided to splash some water in your face and find Topper.

“Y/n,” Rafe stopped you from walking out. “how do you like your eggs in the morning?”

You laughed at his flirty comment and thanked him for being so understanding and kind and ‘such a good kisser’, all before going out to enjoy the rest of the party. Luckily for you it wasn’t an all nightery and you got to spend the night with Rafe Cameron.

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 6 - “The Level of Disgust I Have” - Karen

so i flopped in the arena.. but i do be staying sitting pretty considering the fact that i’ve survived every tribal with no votes even when my name is brought up! so cheers to that 

So I've just blown up the entire Miraitowa chat exposing Nicole and Jacob C as fantastic liars, yet Sammy doesnt have enough sense in his head to make his own decisions and go with the more trustworthy people. Honestly pray for a swap because this tribe is a fucking mess and the returnees are just picking off all the newbies, making this season boring as shit.

So, that boring ass alliance of 4 with Eve on the bottom probably wont break up for anything. That sucks, but I still have my extra vote. If Landen can win immunity, they'll all want to vote Eve, so then I can reveal to Eve and Landen I have an extra vote. Then we all vote together and make those bitches go to rocks and make this shit actually entertaining.

I honestly feel two things 1) I’m a fool and 2) I’m leaving this round. I just feel like it’s my time and it just sucks because I got played into doing all the dirty work for a bunch of stinky little men. So here’s the lowdown of what happened: I explained in my last confessional that we voted out Pete and that I felt like I was going to get fucked over because I was doing all the talking! Well. Essentially that. Basically when Pete came back there was a lot of information spilled and I was left to try to tell the truth without telling the whole truth (which was that we built this tribe to kill the newbies off which NOW IM NOT EVEN SURE IS TRUE.) So Landen tells us that Juls told Sammy and Jacob about her power, not just TOLD SAMMY AND JACOB. Offered to use her power on Jacob and Sammy. And they said NO and let it be used on Landen, essentially putting Kevin in the hot seat. So I’m kind of mad. I think I’m leaving this round like I just feel it in my gut but, maybe not. Who knows, who cares, I’m tired. 

Counting helped at my grandma's place to unwind. Not hearing boring, inane tripe from Darcy also helps. He's boring. I hate boring people. Also he voted for me, so why trust him? 

So I found out Eve left me for dead as well and she flips to them for no reason instead of talking to the person she’s been with since day 1. At the start i told her i’m watching her back for her and I’ve done that, now that I try talking to her out of fear for her safety, she doesn’t care to talk. It’s okay though that’s the game, it’s good that I know that now though so i don’t waste my extra vote lol

First off, I once again had no luck in the Olympic Village, nothing in the pool, so if something was there, someone else must have found the things already.  Secondly, a trio was formed between Tommy, Beck and I, where I already told both of them that I wanted to go to merge with them both, and that is 100% the truth, I trust those two the most on my tribe at the moment, and been having the best talks with them both in this game so far on my tribe.   So I would love making merge with the two of them.   Thirdly, I won individual immunity, which I actually think this is my first time winning individual immunity in an org, so am grateful to achieve that goal, although I didn't have to go all out to the 10k mark lmao.   Also, from what I got told from Tommy, Ben wanted to get me out if I had lost this immunity, so being safe feels that much greater, and I want Ben out now moment he isn't immune.  Plus had Ben call me a no lifer in the main chat after results got posted, so of course, I had to try to defend myself somewhat, as I'm not going to stand around and get claimed a no lifer, even though it is partially the truth due to being unemployed, but I do hang out with friends and stuff.  Anyways, Ben did apologize shortly afterwards for his words, which I appreciate the apology, but that doesn't change the fact that I want him out asap, since well he wants me out.   In terms of this vote though, if everything goes good, I think it will be Juls getting the boot, but we shall see what happens.  I am safe for this round, and made final 17, so no matter what I am safe, just hopefully my allies in Tommy and Beck can both survive this vote as well.

I think we've come to the end of the road for me, which sucks. I really don't want to lose this game, especially so early. I hate big casts, truly. Anyway, either way this night is gonna fuck me over. Two things could be happening tonight: 1) I get rid of Jacob and then Kevin is mad at me, Sammy is mad I got rid of Jacob, I sever my ties with Beck and Juls, I have to rely on my returnee ties and new newbie ties but, the new newbies don't like me either. So I'd essentially be screwed, but I've already promised it. 2) We get rid of Eve, and I lie to Eve, AGAIN. Which I really don't want to do. Although she's a little bit of a wishy washy woman, I don't want to betray Eve's trust because she's actually so sweet, and I'd value a friendship with her going forward in this game. I think I normally succeed in games where I can cultivate genuine friendships and feel like I truly have someone to rely on. I think I'm seeing that more and more with Kevin and Karen, but I don't know if that's 100% genuine either. Either way I'm not winning this game, so if I lose tonight I'll just reduce it down to I played too big too fast and I'll know better for next time around. Being the first winner out would really suck. But, I don't know. I'm just kind of nervous I ruined my game for people who don't care if I go and that's probably the worst feeling (and I'd know, seeing as I have gotten 0 votes at FTC, two times!) Anyway, I'll check back in later if we do come up with a plan that doesn't make me feel like utter shit, which is not likely at this point in time.

Y’all lemme tell you, Miraitowa is a fuckin mess fuck this tribe i can’t wait for the swap lmao. Okay so basically the voting block that took me out exploded and is eating itself. Jacob C and Nicole are telling the exact same story except they’re accusing the other person of creating the alliance and voting me. Honestly idc it was probably a team effort between the both of them, i’m trying to have the vote end up as the worst case possible for that alliance so it officially never reconnects. Here’s how it breaks down: Jacob C, Sammy, and Eve are all trying to get Nicole out. Nicole is trying to get Jacob C out. Kevin is a fuckin wild card, I thought he’d be with Nicole but who the fuck knows man. If Landen and I let Nicole go, we’d still be on the bottom of the same alliance minus Nicole so right now we need to confirm that Kevin is voting with Nicole and we can break apart some of Jacob’s connections. 

Oh my god a triple tribal council. Y'all can't give us a break?!?!?! This season is going to have the most tribal council I swear. This is at least an opportunity to get out Juls, who I think will be my biggest threat if I let her slip past this vote because she's dangerous and able to get along with so many people. This twist I think will prove to be a good way to get Juls out because she has to face two people and unless the other tribe puts total duds in terms of challenge competition she will go home if sent to the arena. As part of strategy when Ben told me he was coming for Darcy, I told Darcy right before he won immunity that Ben was after him but I said I heard it from Karen. This way it shows that Karen is willing to keep Darcy but it gives me more trust with Darcy than Karen because I was the one who told Darcy. We had a call Darcy, Beck, and Myself and finally made a trio alliance which I think will benefit me at certain points in the game because they may have really good potential to draw in people to work with. I think I convinced them I can draw in Karen as a makeshift fourth for our group to have a majority. However, I trust Karen for now in the long scheme I think I will just maintain a good standing with her but not tell them as much. As for now I'm just down with this plan Myself, Beck, Darcy, and Karen are going for to blindside Juls and hopefully my plan to get rid of Juls pans out and we are able to officially eliminate her. If we go to tribal again Ben makes an easy next boot, this keeps the 4 people I'm closest to on the tribe on the tribe as long as possible (Karen, Beck, Darcy, and Caeleb.) The only problems I see if Juls goes is that either she wins a Gold medal and/or Caeleb loses trust which both have a chance of happening but I think this risk will be worth the reward. It's a high risk high reward situation.    

People are quiet, and I hope it's because of inactivity Jordan and Emma seem fine with voting Sarah, and that should be all needed. Chris isn't responding but I don't think he's around. Sarah hasn't even read my message today lol

honestly at this point my tribe is a disaster and i feel like the prince, just sitting on my throne with immunity and looking down with a horrified gaze like... what the FUCK is happening... y'all-. Ever since when I was first blindsided by seeing Pete leave everything went insane. Sammy called for damage control, it was all obvious bullshit. i won the medal at the arena, thank the lord, i did intentionally volunteer knowing i NEEDED that bonus, but thank god i got it for individual immunity instead! i was able to *ahem* secure the bag, and i did that while also going as hard as i can with my social manipulation skills. everyone thought i was just some newbie or some quiet anxious guy that doesn't know how to crack the premade and will never be able to put up a fight but they were wrong. They should not have underestimated me because I was able to expose the lies they told themselves and each-other. In all their efforts to outplay one another, they ended up soiling their own defeat. i told nicole about how sammy/jacob omitted the information about juls' power, and i continuously threatened everyone through jokes to remind them 'I'm still counting, and I've been counting for 24 hours. I'm going to win immunity, and you'll have to turn on eachother.' this madness led to nicole throwing sammy/jacob under the bus right before challenge ended, and of course, they returned the favor. This has led to a paranoia induced voting period where honestly, i still don't even know what's happening. it's very likely the tribal is LIVE tonight. the fear and stress comes in in that i really don't want to lie to sammy after the conversations we had, i really want to be truthful with him. but thinking about my individual game, keeping Jacob C and Eve in just makes no sense. They both have no interest in working with me long term and they both are connected with a ton of people that I want to have loyalty to. Getting rid of them frees up Caeleb and Juls a little bit for me, so I would really like to take them down. But working with Nicole, Kevin, and Pete is going to put me in a tight spot where Sammy is furious, potentially with an idol, and feels like I was a hypocrite with him. That's going to be really hard. But Eve and Jacob are just. VERY bad for my game. They both limit my working relationships with other people a ton. They both make this game.. quite difficult to navigate for me. And they both have zero interest in working with me. It's hard to play Sammy like this, I am gonna feel awful for this. But, you gotta do what you gotta do, and with a swap possibly coming soon... This is what I gotta do. It's shark week (thanks Kevin) and blood is about to get shed. 

Hello I hate these hosts......all tribes going to tribal??????? The level of disgust I have .... so Ben returned after being voted kmssss I know mans will be gunning for me ugh I wish I won immunity but like Darcy fuckn snapped fhdgggg. So with this tribal coming up Darcy wants to take out juls, with me tommy and becks voting together. The only person I’m if-y on is becks atm bc becks is close to juls allegedly. Also caeleb and Juls haven’t been spoken to all day which is like yikes bc that could mean they’d vote for me, i think may I could throw becks under the bus just in case. Slim picking that’s for sure ugh why is the game like this. Also I’ve been talking to nicole and kev and they seem to be struggling on their tribe & hope neither go bc then I’d have to keep working with tommy lol /:. Also I’ve been told juls is the one who exiled Landon so 👀👀👀👀👀thats so suspect!!!!! Juls & becks seem kinda shady to me so I’m gonna have to monitor them. Ugh I hope I’m not getting played tonight or else it might just be bye bye Karen 

I’m in a peculiar position. I don’t want Eve to go, Jacob C is way bigger a threat to me but we have to keep nicole and that group is set on Eve....... god i’m hoping we’re right. 

hello confessional! i'm an awful person and this is the third time in an org that i've fucked over juls somehow and i feel terrible about it. unfortunately with the new alliance that tommy made for us voting out anyone else besides caeleb or juls was not an option and caeleb is rly good at challenges so.... but yeah! tonight fucking sucked. kinda hope juls comes back but i also don't bc she will be out for my blood and you know what? i deserve it

Nicole’s gone, I’m happy about it, it’s what she deserves truely. Over this stupid fucking tribe, CHOKE all of you

I feel really bad about this vote. I new Jacob was going home, but I had to vote with him to make sure that he’ll still be on my side if he comes back from arena. 

The game is getting spicy. This is my confession 👀

WELLLLLLLL babes basically this round started out with landen and pete coming back and trying to yell at the four from the previous majority, after we lied to their faces and then they did not take it well. After all the fighting was said and done we all got to counting and by all i mean me and landen, whom beat me thanks to his silver medal. Even though i counted higher, but alas the past is in the past. After that the game really got going cause we had to go to TRIBAL !!! which fucking sucked because we basically only had 1 option for our "alliance" which was eve, i started talking to the 2 safe bois to see where they were at and the didnt like eve or had some issues with eve, so i thought we could capitalize on that and just unan it on eve, but when i woke up that was simply NOT AN OPTION because the night before nicole had said jacobs name to nicole, without informing the alliance nor jacob personally what she said. This was followed by eve telling jacob immediately after what was said which lead jacob to distrust nicole which in turn made sammy distrust nicole, waking up in the middle of this was not ideal because i had no way to prevent it so i had to work with the situation as best as possible. After talking to everyone on the tribe it literally seemed to be a vote between jacob and nicole with no wiggle room. However as the day moved on i wanted to try and sneak eves name into the mix, after talking to pete and landen some who both confessed they wanted to work with me i pitched to them that potentially voting Eve and then keeping Nicole and Jacob mad at each other for future rounds to cover us, to which they seemed to take well to but werent very eager to do right away. After that i had to reel nicole in and get her to send her vote to Eve which worked until we found out that Sammy has an idol !!! Which he could use on himself orrrrrr EVE, so basically we had to tread carefully after this point and we had to lie to Sammy, pete/landen said they were doing nicole and nicole said she was doing sammy himself, i didnt lie i said i felt like eve was my only option and i worked with that, but still people did lie to him, and I tried to plant seeds in his head to play the idol on himself cause potentially he could save eve, but i wanted him to worry about himself first. After all the drama there was the calm before the storm.. and then the storm hit hard as fuck. We had a plan and a majority until minutes before tribal when nicole told jacob we were voting eve to keep him in the loop and probably turn him off of her, which he was fine with! But landen and pete felt betrayed that nicole would disclose our information to someone else, so when they heard that they scrambled and Pete wanted us to flip onto Jacob, while Landen coincidentallyyy voted for Nicole, which ultimately resulted in a 3-3-1, i tried to flip sammy or pete to keep nicole but to avail ... rip nicole. After tribal eve was obviously mad about getting votes, Sammy was mad about getting lied to and Landen and Pete were proven flakes, i did my best to save face and keep my ducks in a row with sammy, pete, and landen but only time will tell if i did a good enough job. As for the rest of the game i really hope that nicole comes back because she was, surprisingly, my closest ally in this game and i need her as a shield. But im sad that juls got out and while I want her to come back too i would prefer nicole, for game purposes but i would be just as happy to see juls return if she can pull it off. Welp, good luck charlie.

So I got voted out. I think I’m good with it though. I’m very much “whatever happens happens” at this point, because in my opinion I think I’m done with this game. There’s a lot of factors that I just don’t like about it, and that’s not saying anything about the hosts because I love Monty and Gage, I think I’ve spoken about this before in other games I’ve been in but I really can’t play games where you spend 24 hours sitting around. It hinders me so bad to just be sitting, not doing a challenge or anything, especially with 25 people around, it’s hell. There are a lot of things that annoy me in this game. One being that the newbies are like...mean as fuck lol. Like they just come in guns blazing and really don’t care what they say to other people, or they’re just dead and no help at all. Eve was honestly a nasty brat, and I’m just calling it how I saw it. She demanded trust, and that’s not a good way to get people to actually trust you. She came up with a majority of five people, she assumed I’d vote out Kevin, and yes I lied a little (bc it’s survivor) but you’d think I literally had been working with her since Day One and stabbed her in the back. We had maybe 24 hours of conversation. If I lied to Kevin, I’d feel terrible. You think I feel bad lying to someone I only talked to once who planted a five person majority without my main ally in it? Like, for real? It makes no sense. Landen doesn’t like lying either like....alright go do you homework and stop playing survivor then. DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE ARE? And the funny thing is, all of these people lied to me. Eve went behind my back. Jacob sent screenshots (which is cheating but somehow I’m here and he’s not) to Sammy. Sammy literally didn’t tell me he had an advantage and told me he didn’t know about Juls advantage. Landen Said he voted Jacob. Pete said he didn’t know the plan. Kevin, I’m hoping he was honest because he’s the only reason I’m happy I played this game. Kevin is SO nice and so genuine, I hope it’s not an act for the game but I know I put him THROUGH IT this round so I’m contemplating just giving up, for his sake, because if I come back it’s likely gonna be..a bit of a mess for him. I know I might need to come back to save Kevin and Jacob, moreso Kevin bc Jacob can go kick rocks. Anyway back to Sammy for a second. I’ve always seen Sammy as this nice little man who is so kind, but I REALLY saw an ugly side of him this round. Like, I don’t think I’ll ever see him the same again. I hope he loses to literally anyone. I don’t think he deserves to win and out of everyone I’m most mad at him. He’s a hypocrite who can make you feel bad you lied to protect yourself from him because he lied to you first, and sure that helps in Survivor but that’s downright ugly and I don’t respect that at all. He lied to me CONTINUOUSLY throughout the day, leaking every word I said to Eve. Only to be mad at me because I lied to him...to misdirect his idol? TO MISDIRECT HIS IDOL HE DIDNT EVEN TELL ME ABOUT BECAUSE HE DIDNT TRUST ME. And for him to try to pull an apology out from me and make me feel bad...sit down. Nobody makes me feel bad or can twist my emotions like that so, nice try. And in such an obvious and public manner like...who taught you to be the way you are lmao. That’s so rude. I hope he loses is the point. Honestly I’m kind of like over playing and I know juls really has a fire in her heart to continue playing with these god awful people who have snaked us. She’s a little queen and I hope she wins it if I can’t, because she deserves to! My plan is to just hold on until Jacob drops (assuming it’s pressure cooker) and then decide there if I want to go in or not. I also want to put out a disclaimer that I’m ranting about everyone else bc I’m mad but I know I fucked up, too. I lied way too much for unecessary reasons that seemed necessary at the time with advantages in play. I trusted people based on personal knowledge of their heart and how kind they are, which was wrong. Jacob and Sammy both showed me their ugly sides, and I showed mine as well so I mean I’m not going to sit here and act innocent. I can see EACH mistake I made and how I could have played better. I hope Sammy and Jacob both get premerge, hope Landen gets yeeted into the sun, or a lesson in manners bc lord knows he doesn’t have any and just wants to be that That Iconic Newbie that newsflash nobody wants to cast again, and I hope juls prospers if I fail at the arena challenge. Manifest manifest manifest. I literally feel like in my brain there is no possible way I’m going to be back in this game and if I do come back, I’m just going to get voted out again. So it’s a hard choice deciding if I want to or not. I promised Juls I’d outlast Jacob B but after that, I’m not sure. I feel like I don’t even have it in me, because if I really saw a chance at winning. I just feel like I’ve made a fool of myself and let men make a fool out of me, and it’s time to go home, rest, recuperate and come back to kick ass another day. 

So we had a live tribal last night and everything is a MESS now! It's my birthday and so I'm trying to stay in a good mood and not think about the game, but honestly, stuff is pretty stressful. My plan WAS to take out Eve the whole time, I was fully on board with it and I do believe it was the right move for me at the time. Unfortunately Nicole decided to go insane and blow up the entire plan by telling Jacob and having everything blow up at tribal council which is just... ugh. It made it clear she was trying to rebuild the majority and force the power structure back in place, so that's why I had to make sure she went home. She showed unreliability and a willingness to turn that I couldn't have in the game, that's the whole reason I wanted to take out Eve. Because I need allies in this game who will work with me and who have interest in working with ME. Nicole seemed like she could be a useful person in the game, but as soon as her fight with Jacob ended and they started to try and take control again, it was too late. I had to get rid of her. Sadly she'll probably come back from the arena and that's going to make things... Messy. It's going to become a game of who can use Sammy the best, and I just hope I can win that game. But I've told him too many lies and that comes off hypocritical. It sucks because I feel guilty about it, AND hopeless in the game. But I dunno. We'll just have to see. Not to mention I lost Juls somehow, and EVERYONE seems to be shocked that she was voted out. That is not good for my game at all as she was somebody I was really relying on and also I just love her. So losing her absolutely sucks. I'm really hoping she can come back from the Arena. The game is turning into a downward spiral for me and fast. People are predicting a swap, and at that point, it's the best I can hope for. I got Eve with me now on the brightside, and I know I could reel in Caeleb, Jordan, probably even Ben.... Things are getting very bloody very quickly in a game as competitive as this one, and I just pray I can wind up on the right side of things with a swap. Being on the bottom this time was deadly and detrimental to my game - I have played extremely hard, cutthroat, fierce, and overall just like.. WELL. Not to toot my own horn but I have played VERY good on both Sonkei and Miraitowa, and there's a lot on my resume for if I do manage to make it to the end. But if I keep just giving everything 120% and making these power moves and making enemies and such as I go, I'll have no chance. I really need a stage in the game where I can sit back and kind of just relax and be this UTR force, that people aren't taking so much notice of. Form more social bonds. Also, fuck the olympic idol hunt or whatever. I suck at it but other people have gotten so many advantages. EEP!

I was about to be super proud of the fact that this was the earliest I made a confessional in a round all game, just to realize its still only 5 hours before the deadline so like is that even good? long story short I had to fuck over jacob this round which sucked cause i loved jacob but we went to too many tribals and like... im running out of options. I made a new alliance of me emma stoner and sarah which like lowkey is a good call because we have one person from 4/5 starting tribes we are as well connected to each other as we can be right now. I need us to swap not cause I would go home, I genuinly think if we kept losing I could get down on this tribe to just me and one more person if needed but like... can we not I'm so tired. Bring on the swap, i need new people to manipulate!

[manathrir-blog]

A work in progress.....

Chapter One

It was a bright, cool morning when Jane opened up her front door, smiling from ear to ear. It was her first day back at school and where most teenagers dreaded it she couldn’t help but be excited. She was a good student, smart, who enjoyed her classes and seeing her friends. She was relatively tall for a sixteen year old girl, with red hair that fell to her neck in soft ringlets. Her school uniform, if that’s what a black jumper, white shirt and jeans could be called, largely hid the shape of her body, which was exactly how she liked it.

She strode down the path from her front door and started the short walk to her friends house, where she would meet him every day to walk to school. Dan was her complete opposite. He loathed school, with the exception of seeing his friends, and she could just imagine the slow, lethargic walk she was about to see from him. True to form, he was running late, and so she stood at his gate for several minutes before he appeared. “Hi there!” Jane said brightly, doing her best to head off his lack of enthusiasm before he’d even spoken. He looked up at her slowly. “Hi,” he drawled, his backpack slung half-heartedly on his back. He was walking, as Jane had predicted, at a pace reserved for wounded sloths. “Wow. I knew you would be slow this morning, but this is something else,” she joked. He glared at her. “How can it be time to go back to school,” he said. “I swear we just finished.” “Alas, you are mistaken, my friend. So let’s go!” she said. Dan looked at her again, as if he didn’t understand her in the slightest. “You are way too fucking cheerful.”

As they approached the school Janes’ smile broadened. Students were coming from every direction, heading towards the school. All the faces she recognised and the new ones she didn’t. She couldn’t wait to get in. Before she could get any further, she heard a voice call out from behind them. “I see you two decided to come back then? Shame, you should have done us all a favour and just killed yourselves.��� They turned around and saw Sarah walking towards them. She was beautiful. She had long brown hair and was wearing a sleek fitted dress that clung in all the right places. To Jane’s pointed chagrin she was also actually very intelligent. If she wasn’t such an utter bitch she would have quite liked her. “Thanks for that Sarah,” she said. “Mind if we carry on with our day now?” “Not at all,” Sarah replied. “I’m sure you’ll present me with another opportunity to insult you soon enough.” She kept walking past them, gliding seamlessly into an excited conversation with her friends. Or, more accurately to Janes mind, into talking at a group of mindless followers.

They continued into the school and on to registration, where they were handed their new timetables. A quick look showed that Jane and Dan overlapped in several classes, including their first of the new year. “Fuck me sideways,” he said. “Our first class is History? With Morrisson? Why don’t you just shoot me in the face now.” “That seems ever so slightly melodramatic,” Jane said. “You can’t be telling me you like her classes? I know you bone school and everything but come on.” “Admittedly, she’s….highly strung” Jane replied. “Oh yes, highly strung,” Dan said sarcastically, “that’s exactly what I was thinking.”

Fifteen minutes later they found themselves sat in History. Mrs Morrison, a tall and thin woman with features that could be, at best, described as severe, stood over them glaring. “We’re here to learn about history. Our main topic this term will be local history. If you keep quiet and listen, we’ll have no problems. If not, I’ll fail you, and believe me when I say I’ll enjoy it.” The lesson began, and to say it was dry was hugely generous. Even Jane had to admit it was dull. After about half an hour though, something Mrs Morrisson said caught everyone’s attention. “And so, to this day, every person who has gone in has come out insane. Tourists, investigators, everybody.” “Wait, what was that Mrs Morrisson?” shouted a voice from the back of the classroom. Through gritted teeth she said, “I’ll repeat it once more, and that’s it. In the 17th century a young woman in this town was found guilty of being a witch. It was all nonsense of course, as all the convictions were, but she was burned at the stake. The priest at the time condemned her and as he read her last rights, she shouted out a curse, of which there’s a copy in your notes.” “I don’t understand it,” someone shouted, “what language is that?” “It’s Latin you idiot,” she said, “there’s a translation in your notes. But if I must, I’ll read it out:

Hecate triformis dea te invoco Referte ad me et ego sim eis poenis debitum Animos eorum et maledic Monstrare ac tenebras Producant ac tenebras.”

After she had finished reading, a shiver ran around the room. Everybody felt it. “What does it mean?” a girl asked nervously. “The long and the short of it is that they say she cursed the church so that anybody who entered would go insane. And so it has transpired. Whether you choose to believe that is the work of magic or psychology, well, that’s your decision to make.” “Where was the church?” asked Jane, rather too excitedly, “Is it still standing?” “Yes Jane it is. On the outskirts of town, as you head towards the retail park.” Jane sank back down in her chair and felt her mind rushing. This was exciting.

For the next few days Dan saw very little of Jane. In fact, nobody did. She spent most of that time in the library, looking up details of the church and the curse online, binging on any scraps of information she could find. She missed classes, skipped social events and stopped meeting Dan on the way to school. Eventually, on the Friday morning, he bumped into her in the hallway of the school. “Hey there!” he said, “remember me?” For a moment he thought that she genuinely didn’t, she seemed totally dazed and unfocused. She seemed to come back to herself and chuckled. “Hi,” she said, “Sorry but I’m in a rush, I need to get to…” “The library,” said Dan, finishing her sentence. “What’s going on Jane? You’re obsessed with this church, it’s fucking weird.” “No it isn’t,” she retorted angrily, “I’m just interested. Aren’t you? A place where everybody that’s been  in for the last 350 years has come out mad? That’s amazing.” “Amazing? What’s wrong with you?” he said. “Nothing’s wrong with me! Look, just meet in the park later tonight and I’ll fill you in. You’ll be excited too, I swear.” With that she hurried away, leaving Dan standing alone in the hall. He was worried. This didn’t seem right.

[metawitches]

The season finale of The Rain season 2 pays off the concepts the show has played with all season, while also providing a satisfying mirror image to the season 1 finale. As of this writing, June 1st, 2019, the Rain isn’t renewed for season 3, so I hope it gets the chance to finish its story. The path forward is both obvious and wide open, which tells you the writers are doing something right.

Recap

Simone kneels beside Lea’s dead body and prays for her. Fie tries to comfort a devastated Jean. They prepare Lea for burial. Martin and Patrick run through the forest, hoping to get to the base in time to warn the others not to use the cure.

Simone isn’t sure she can go on. She feels guilty for Lea’s death. Fie explains that they have to go on. They have to work toward normalcy and getting Rasmus well, otherwise Lea’s sacrifice is wasted. Simone agrees that Lea wanted them to keep going, too.

Sarah stops to check on Rasmus. She asks if he’s alive. Fie tells her he is. Simone says they think the cure worked on him. Sarah looks at Rasmus and says that they did something to him, but she’s not sure what they did.

Patrick trips and hurts his knee. He tells Martin to go on without him, but Martin refuses. He tapes up Patrick’s knee. While he’s wrapping the knee, Martin says that he hopes Simone hasn’t used the cure on Rasmus yet. Patrick says that he knew Martin hadn’t given up on Simone. He can tell that Martin and Simone are madly in love. Patrick admits they belong together and tells Martin to move on past their argument.

They stand up and start walking, but now there are drones watching them. After they’ve walked a few more feet, they’re surrounded by Apollon soldiers.

Fie runs blood tests and discovers that the cure is working in Rasmus. He  can’t remember what happened when they gave him the medication. Simone and Fie explain that the virus killed Lea while she was trying to help. He runs from the room.

Jean is outside at Lea’s grave, weeping.

Sarah finds Rasmus in the hall feeling sorry for himself.  She tells him she thought he was dead. He tells her to stay away from him. Rasmus: “I killed Lea.” Sarah: “I’m glad you’re alive.”

Martin and Patrick are taken to Apollon’s current encampment, tents set up in a village. They’re brought directly to Sten and Kira. They’re told to kneel while they speak to Sten.

Sten tells them that they have to understand that the virus can’t be stopped. Martin asks him to let them go, so they can stop Simone from trying to cure Rasmus. Sten says that there isn’t time. The virus will take over everything.

Martin asks why Sten wants Rasmus, if the virus can’t be cured. He tells them, “Rasmus has shown us that we can live with it. That we can make it part of us. That’s what we’re going to do. We won’t cure him. We’ll cure us.”

Martin realizes that Sten is an insane psychopath. Sten asks what Martin has in mind that’s better? The alternative is that the virus kills everyone. Rasmus can’t die, so he’s the future. He orders Kira to kill them, then walks away, saying he’ll take care of the others.

Rasmus finds Jean at Lea’s grave and apologizes for killing her. He says he doesn’t know what happened. (He has a habit of dissociating at convenient times.) He tells Jean he’s cured now.

Jean isn’t impressed by anything Rasmus says to him. He’s the first person to tell Rasmus the truth about Lea’s death: “You got angry. She only tried to help you. And then you killed her.” Everyone else has talked around it and treated Rasmus like a child.

Fie takes Sarah’s temperature and finds she has a high fever. Then Fie tells Sarah that she visited Jakob’s grave today. She misses him and really cared about him, even if Sarah doesn’t believe her. She cares about Sarah, too, and she’ll take care of her. The 2 and a half of them are a family. Fie cries after she speaks. Sarah comforts her.

Kira takes Patrick and Martin to a trench in the forest. Instead of killing them, she tells them to follow her if they want their friends to live.

Kira remembers running through the forest with her mother when the rebels were trying to escape Apollon. Her mother knew they were about to be caught, so she held Kira’s hand and gun to her own head and made it look like Kira killed her. She sacrificed herself so that Kira could be accepted into Apollon’s army.

Look, another suicidal female sacrifice. This time, a middle aged mother sacrificing herself for her daughter. She was a rebel leader. That’s a pretty threatening position for a woman, especially an older woman, to hold. It’s not surprising that she suddenly forgot everything she knew and got caught, then decided the only way to cope with it was to die. Notice how Patrick and Martin only talked about sacrifice, but both lived to find freedom again?

Kira was in shock after her mother died. The soldiers captured her immediately. She went along with them because she had no other choice.

Simone can’t get over seeing Rasmus murder Lea, the most non-violent person on the planet. She can’t make up an excuse for why Lea really deserved it, and has to face that this was all Rasmus (and her). She’s finally figured out that her little brother, as charming as he may be at times, is also spoiled, impulsive and capable of anything.

Fie tries to make Simone feel better by talking about how she could see that Simone tried very hard to take good care of Rasmus and to be strong for him. It’s not her fault things went wrong.

The results of Rasmus’ latest blood test come in. They show that the virus is cured. It can’t be detected in his blood. Simone goes to tell him.

The two women who were captured by Sten’s men, then made part of his army and told to search for Rasmus, find the base. They see Jean outside decorating Lea’s grave. He takes them to Rasmus without a fight, since he wants revenge against the boy.

Rasmus visits Sarah in her room to check on her health. She still feels awful, so he tries to cheer her up. The two women find them and take them at gunpoint. They lead the two kids to the exit from the base.

Simone checks the graveyard as she searches for Rasmus. She finds Jean there and sits next to him to chat, oblivious to his mood. He shifts away from her. When she asks if he’s seen Rasmus and Sarah, he tells her that the Apollon women took him. He blames Simone for Lea’s death and hopes Rasmus dies so that Simone will feel the kind of loss that he’s experiencing.

Kira, Martin and Patrick hide from some other Apollon soldiers, leaving Martin and Patrick confused. Kira explains that she hates Apollon and doesn’t want them or their friends to die. To stop that from happening, they have to trust her and keep moving, so they can beat Sten’s army to the base. Patrick is skeptical but Martin believes her, so they cooperate.

Kira remembers being brought before Sten after her mother’s death. He asks what she wants. She tells him she wants to get out of the zone and she’s willing to do anything to accomplish it. Sten decides to hire her. He says she won’t have to do anything she hasn’t already done. Once she leaves him and has a minute alone, she screams in grief for her mother.

Simone runs to get Fie to help her get Rasmus back.

The two soldiers try to get Rasmus to open the door to the outside, which is locked, but he says that he doesn’t know how. Sarah insists to them that Rasmus is infected and dangerous. He pretends to have another seizure/attack and writhes on the floor. Combined with Sarah’s encouragement, that’s enough to scare the soldiers off.

Fie and Simone find Sarah and Rasmus right afterward. Simone tells him he’s cured. He’s stunned, but happy.

Kira, Martin and Patrick see the soldiers on the road close to the compound, while Simone and Fie are scouted by drones while on the roof. They all realize that their time is up.

Kira leads Patrick and Martin to the secret entrance to the base. Patrick figures out she’s one of the rebels and pesters her with continuous questions, until she hits him. Patrick wasn’t really getting that they were on a covert op. Kira found an effective way to remind him. Martin suggests that Patrick stop asking questions.

Kira and Martin go through the entrance, leaving Patrick to stand watch. Kira gives him a gun, trusting him not to shoot her.

Sarah and Rasmus awkwardly hang out in his room, now that nothing stands in the way of their romance. They are centimeters away from a kiss, when Fie and Simone interrupt them to warn them that the base is about to be attacked.

Jean is in the control room when Kira and Martin reach the hallway. He orders Martin to bring him Rasmus. He assigns some of the blame for Lea’s death to Martin, since Martin just walked out on them. Kira pushes Martin to find Rasmus.

Sten’s makeshift army is already attacking the base. Simone, Fie, Rasmus and Sarah can’t leave through the main door because it’s surrounded.

As they’re running away from the door, Simone hears Martin’s voice. She turns and goes back to him. When she reaches him, she tells him not to ever go away again. They kiss and then he says he won’t. But they need to leave the base. They can use the basement exit.

Simone asks about Jean. No one mentions Patrick.

“I won’t leave.”

Kira tries to convince Jean that he can’t kill Rasmus. She uses the intercom to talk to him through the security door. She needs Rasmus as part of her plan to bring down Sten and Apollon. It’s her last chance. But she also means that because of the virus, Rasmus won’t die, even if he’s mortally wounded, as we saw with the out of control virus in the Apollon lab.

Kira never states it clearly enough for the others to figure out that she’s saying he can’t be killed, rather than she doesn’t want him to be killed, in part because they hear what they want to hear. The truth is already obvious, if you think about the plants, the goo, the lab, and the way that Rasmus recovers from anything and everything so easily. He’s more virus than human now. We saw that in episode 1, when Jakob drew viral goo instead of blood or spinal fluid from his lumbar puncture.

Jean has made up his mind that Rasmus is going to die and he won’t listen to any alternatives. His immaturity has chosen the worst moment to become assertive. The army breaks down the front door. Despite all of the warnings, Jean didn’t see this coming. Martin takes over trying to talk sense into him.

Simone pulls Rasmus aside and tells him that he has to survive, no matter what, because he has the cure in his body. Rasmus doesn’t understand what’s happening or why she’d say that. He seems to have forgotten about the cure.

Just imagine me banging my head against the wall at this point.

Simone turns to Kira and explains that Rasmus is cured. They removed the virus from his body, so if they can get him out, he can save the world. Kira tries to explain to her, more patiently than she deserves, that curing Rasmus is impossible.

Meanwhile, Martin is trying to save Jean, but he won’t come out of the control room. Rasmus decides to be helpful by showing himself and talking to Jean. When he sees Rasmus, Jean goes all murder-suicide and pushes the evil alarm button with the deafening sirens. They affect him just as much as they affect the others. Kira shoots out one of the sirens, so it’s not as loud in the hall, and everyone but Jean gets out.

Jean goes back to the control panel and quiets the sirens in the room. He has a vision of Lea telling him not to harm the others. He comes to his senses and runs to catch up to them. Out in the hall, he’s almost caught by the army and has to duck under a tarp until they pass. That’s the last we see of him.

Whatever happens to him, the others will assume he ran away and won’t go looking for him, unless he returns to the group on his own. If he’s captured, he’s in big trouble.

A squad gets close to the others and fires on them, as they run to the secret entrance. Kira shoots them all down, but Sarah is shot in the abdomen. The bullet must have hit an artery, because she bleeds out quickly. Rasmus rests her head on his lap and calls Fie to look at her. Simone and Martin try to drag Rasmus out. Sarah knows she’s dying. Her last wish is for Rasmus to kiss her. He’s too slow, so she pulls his head down to hers.

Her last words are, “Just like Romeo and Juliet.”

Rasmus lays over her body and moans in grief. Then the virus wakes up, more powerful than ever.

He walks through the building, sending out his viral cloud to kill all of the Apollon soldiers he finds. Simone watches in shock. She had no idea her cute little brother was capable of such an act.

Her level of denial is staggering.

Simone approaches Rasmus and asks what he’s done. Rasmus speaks in unfinished sentences and blames everyone else for his murders. He finishes by saying to Simone, SIMONE, who gave up her childhood and youth to raise and protect him, “Why won’t you leave me alone?”

He is now a full grown, entitled white male who has turned his mother figure into the villain in his life because his world isn’t absolutely perfect, and he’s decided she owes him that, as the symbolic sacrificial woman in his life.

Simone tries one more time to convince him to come back inside and be reasonable. Rasmus says: “I don’t have to do anything. They killed Sarah. She’s gone.”

He walks away from her. Simone picks up a gun from the ground and points it at Rasmus, telling him to stop. Rasmus asks if she really wants to do that. She starts to quote Frederik. Rasmus tells her that their father is dead, because he wanted to change Rasmus. Just like the dead soldiers wanted to change him. They all think he’s weak, but he isn’t.

Simone says that Rasmus isn’t acting like himself. Rasmus tells her she doesn’t know who he is or how he feels. She tells him, and herself, that she tried to protect him.

The viral cloud pours out of him. “No, you want to change me.”

Before it reaches her, Martin runs into the other end of the room, yelling for Rasmus to pay attention to him. He begs Rasmus not to kill again, to try to find a peaceful solution instead.

Simone is now facing watching another loved one die in front of her, after she watched her father die in episode 1 and Lea die in episode 5. She’s watched Rasmus kill dozens of people, starting with the scientists in episode 1, who wanted to help him, through Lea, who was his friend, to the soldiers, who were largely innocent, starving pawns. She can’t deny what he is anymore.

And she can’t deny that Martin is the one who’s there for her and comes back for her, even with all of their flaws. Fie is a great friend to her, wise, patient and understanding, but willing to tell her when she’s wrong.

She stuck with her family, both Frederik and Rasmus, long after it made any moral or emotional sense to, because they were all she had in the world and all she had left of the old world. Now that she has Fie and Martin, maybe she can let go. Rasmus and Frederik are toxic personalities who are abusive toward Simone. Frederik haunts her from the grave, affecting every important decision, because his choices for her were all she had left of him.

With all of that in mind, Simone listens as Rasmus blames Martin for trying to control him. When Rasmus sends the viral cloud after her boyfriend, she shoots her brother in the heart. The virus is stopped dead in its tracks. Rasmus has his pride wounded more than his body. He bleeds a tiny bit before the hole closes up again, without even leaving a scar.

He’s completely shocked that Simone would shoot him.

Martin holds Simone, who looks like she’s going into shock.

Rasmus leaves the building. Outside, he finds Sten waiting for him. He’s ready to be reunited with his true father, the king of the apocalypse.

Martin, Simone and Fie stand by Sarah, who is laid out on a table, as if she’s being prepared for burial. Fie checks her pulse. Suddenly, she takes a deep breath and opens her eyes. She has faint black veins from the virus.

The Bride of Frankenstein awakens. Notice how her hair is bigger and looks like it has a stripe (on her left)?

Don’t get me wrong, I love Sarah, but I can’t help but notice that at least three named female characters have been shown dying in the last 2 episodes- Lea, Kira’s mom Martha, and Sarah. Which one comes back to life? The youngest, hottest one, of course.

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The original Bride of Frankenstein (1935), for reference:

The girl has style. She could walk right onto the set of Rocky Horror or Hedwig, and still look modern, with only a minor costume update. Photo by John Kobal Foundation/Getty Images.

How Sarah Became a Monster Why Didn’t the Virus Kill Sarah?

Why did Sarah survive the virus, when no one else has, despite Apollon’s extensive experimentation? There are two obvious reasons. First, she’s immunosuppressed, so her body didn’t fight the virus and the virus didn’t become toxic as it defended itself. It’s the same version that’s in Rasmus’ body, treating her like she’s him. We’ve been given ample evidence that the current issue that causes death isn’t the virus. It’s the virus feeling threatened and defending itself. Just like a human with a gun.

(The version of the virus that’s escaping from Apollon has been trained to go nuclear as soon as it’s startled. Rasmus’ virus isn’t that lethal yet.)

Second, Sarah wants to be infected with the virus, because she knows that it cured Rasmus of his intitial terminal disease and has extended his life. He’s able-bodied, strong and healthy. No matter what other problems the virus may seem to cause, For Sarah, being alive, with a good prognosis, would be worth carrying the virus. After all, she’s already in isolation and on her deathbed, anyway.

The virus is sentient, and can sense the intentions of its host. It knows Sarah wants it there and won’t try to be cured. It chose her as a host, just as she chose it.

A third possible reason is the manner of transmission. It could be that a kiss is the most gentle way to transmit the virus, and thus the most likely to be survived, especially when combined with blood loss and death. Sarah is one of the few people to receive Rasmus’ version of the virus from such a direct transmission, when he was feeling love instead of negative emotions.

Sarah was turned into a viral carrier the way a new vampire is usually created. She sustained a mortal wound, had her own body fluid drained, then had a small sample of the new version transmitted to her through the equivalent of a bite. She had to die and be reborn for it to take hold. Because her initial exposure to the virus was small and she was either comatose or dead, with poor circulation, her system was taken over slowly instead of all at once. The virus rebuilt her blood supply and healed her wound, rewriting the way she functions, possibly even her genetic code. When it finished, she reawakened, with the same powers and health as Rasmus.

The gang should make an effort to keep Sarah away from Sten, since she’s his holy grail, not Rasmus. She’ll probably head straight for Rasmus, and Sten, first chance she gets.

“Just Like Romeo and Juliet”

Sarah knew what she was doing when she asked Rasmus to kiss her. Besides the romance of it all, in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Act 5, Scene 3, the two lovers commit suicide in Juliet’s family tomb. Romeo dies first. Juliet lies unconscious in the tomb at this point, but Romeo thinks she’s dead. They’re devoted, not smart.

He drinks a vial of poison, kisses Juliet, and says, “Thus with a kiss I die.” Then he dies. Moments later, Juliet wakes up and figures out what happened. She tries to drink the last drops of poison from the vial, but can’t get enough, so she kisses Romeo, hoping there’s some left on his lips. That still doesn’t work, so she takes Romeo’s dagger and stabs herself.

By bringing up Romeo and Juliet, Sarah was referring to the virus, which she knew hadn’t been cured, passing between them during their kiss, if it hadn’t already been transmitted while they’d held hands earlier in the day. Sarah received the equivalent of the stab wound first, by getting shot, then took the poison.

Lucky for her, maybe, Rasmus’ poison prolongs life indefinitely.

The Aftermath of the Battle over Rasmus

Both Patrick and Jean disappear midway through the fighting, and we never find out what happens to them. As I mention in my S2Ep5 recap, Lea wasn’t the only survivor who was pushed aside and forgotten by the arrival of new members.

Jean took his revenge and expressed his anger, hurting himself in the process. Then Lea’s voice in his head told him he’d done enough to avenge her. I’ve said in other recaps that there isn’t a compelling reason for Jean to continue to exist, but he probably will. He’s already come back from the Not Quite Dead once, and I’ve lost count of how many The Rain characters have done the same thing.

Kira and Martin left Patrick standing guard outside the secret entrance while they went inside, and then they forgot about him. Patrick is a very useful character, even if no one likes him much. That might save his life.

Kira also disappeared after Sarah appeared to die. We never found out what her plan for Rasmus was. Did she plan to give Rasmus to Sten hoping that they would kill each other?

It looked like Kira could have been the one who shot Sarah. She might have wanted to set Rasmus’ temper off. Have the rebels figured out a way to contain the virus, even if it can’t be killed, so they needed to lure Rasmus to Apollon?

I’ve wondered if Rasmus could call all of the goo back to himself, the way he controls the cloud. If he could be convinced or tricked into calling it all to him, then contained in something that would permanently mummify him and push the virus into dormancy and starvation, even if he and it wouldn’t technically be dead, I think we could call it a win.

They’ve already told us that the virus can’t be beat by fighting it. Apollon’s mistake is that it continued to fight. They need to find peaceful means to negotiate with the virus, and try to figure out what it ultimately wants. What is it so paranoid about? Since it’s sentient, you’d think someone could find a way for it to communicate. In a way, the virus is a victim of Apollon, just like the people of Denmark. It’s been experimented on and attacked, used against its will. It’s trying to defend itself and survive. If it’s approached with that understanding, the conversation might go differently.

Or it might be an insane, homicidal maniac of a virus that has to be put down. Better to know for sure.

Unanswered Questions

It didn’t rain at all this season, after it rained every day in season 1. The characters also didn’t come across any fresh water in streams, ponds, etc. Who is controlling the rain and water supply? Apollon? The virus? Martin and Simone were very happy to find Johanne and Klaus’ water tank, as if water was scarce.

Maybe the contaminated rain was the virus’ way of trying to reconnect with Rasmus. The rain was safe within hours of Rasmus and Beatrice getting dripped on. I doubt we’ll ever fully understand Beatrice’s death, but maybe the virus knew that Rasmus didn’t want her to be hurt, so it was trying to bond with her, the way it did with Sarah. Beatrice fought it, so the attempt failed, but she also didn’t die a normal death from the virus.

We didn’t see any wild animals this season, after infected dogs were important last season. I’m not sure we even saw birds in season 2. Does this mean all of the  animals are dead now?

The black viral goo spreading through the plants hasn’t satisfactorily been explained at all. We know that Rasmus sheds it, and it also comes from the Apollon lab, but why? Why is the virus doing this? Why does it want to kill everything? Won’t it also die then? And what about the plants’ reaction to Rasmus? Is the goo waiting to rise up into a big blob of slime and do his bidding? (If you think this is a silly idea, you have clearly never watched 1950s B movies.)

Where does the rebel base fit into all of this experimentation? They were doing their own work as well, which I bet included Jakob working toward curing Sarah using the virus. Is the base responsible for any of the escaped virus?

We have 2 or 3 genres of scifi horror going at once now, and I’m curious to see if The Rain can pull them all in together again for an explanation and ending that make sense in season 3. (Let’s face it, if it gets a season 3, it’ll be the final season, since that’s now Netflix policy for most shows.)

How will the super virus that brought on a viral apocalypse, the powerful human monster who’s under the influence of his greedy mad scientist creator, and the spreading, world-eating slime from outer space intersect again? Will Rasmus be able to control the slime? Will Sten be able to control Rasmus? Will Sten figure out how to safely take the virus into himself? Will he try to kill Rasmus after that, because he doesn’t want another god competing with him?

I feel certain that Sarah is the one who’ll understand her viral powers and potential first. She’s smarter than Rasmus, more in touch with her body and used to being sick. She’s used to working her way through new treatments. She fully accepts the virus and will want to experiment with it.

Rasmus is too impulse driven to focus on something like exploring his powers for long. But Sten might drive him to use his powers, so that he discovers them. What we really need is for someone to sit down for a nice long, relaxed chat with Demonic Viral Hallucination Child Rasmus, and get some answers out of him.

Were the rebels and the doctors on the base from 2 different groups? So far, they don’t seem to know each other, or anything about each other. It’s a strange situation for people who were living in hiding down the hall from each other.

Is Kira trying to rescue Martin and Simone’s people, or are they just disposable pawns to her? I’d like to see more of her next season, and not as a villain. With her knowledge of Sten, Apollon and the virus, and Simone and Fie’s knowledge of Rasmus and the version of the virus he carries, they could make some serious progress. Plus, now there’s Sarah and her version of the virus, which is probably slightly altered from what Rasmus gave her, since it had to adjust to her body.

Fie is pregnant. Sarah carries the virus. Fie was touching Sarah a second before she woke up in that last short scene, which means she definitely had the virus. The adults must have some immunity to low levels of exposure, and Sarah and Rasmus can control who they want it to kill. But what about the fetus’ exposure? What will it mean for the baby for Fie to have the virus or the antibodies in her blood?

Now that Sarah has the virus herself, she doesn’t need Rasmus anymore. Will she ditch him, since he’s kind of a jerk, and their version of Romeo and Juliet ended? He did leave her without staying to see if she was really dead or had just passed out. The Bride of Frankenstein traditionally rejects the monster. Sarah is so much better than Rasmus, she’ll probably have more control of the virus, as well. Will the season 3 finale come down to the viral Adam and Eve battling it out?

  Images courtesy of Netflix. Gif via Decider.com.

The Rain Season 2 Episode 6: Survival of the Fittest Recap The season finale of The Rain season 2 pays off the concepts the show has played with all season, while also providing a satisfying mirror image to the season 1 finale.

[guccixstyless]

Ever Since Shanghai

A/N’s: This is the first part of my new Harry Styles mini-series, there will be more parts, hope you guys like it. All the love. xx

Word Count : 1.62 K words

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Masterlist 

Y/N’s POV

“We are here, finally!” Cindy, my best friend, said before stretching her arms.

“Finally,” I sighed happily and tiredly.

“Sarah just texted me, she said she’s here we should go towards the gate now,” Cindy said checking her phone.

“Okay,” I replied then looked around the airport, we are here in Shanghai currently to attend the victoria secret fashion show. Sarah Jones, the drummer of Harry Styles and elder sister of Cindy managed to get us two tickets.

“I’m so excited for the show,” I said after claiming our luggage and making our way towards the gate.

“Yeah I’m glad the exams are over, it sucked the life out of us,” Cindy said happily.

“True, we have a well deserved break before starting uni,” I said contently.

“Let’s make the most of it,” she cheered.

“We will stay till the end of tour with the band so yeah it’ll be fun,” I said.

“Yeah Harry’s tour are so fun to attend, though we only attended two shows.”

“Well now we have 7 shows to attend, it’ll be fun!”

“Uh huh!”

“There’s Sarah! Hi!” I said before we both ran towards her.

“I’m so glad you guys made it here!” Sarah hugged me and Cindy and smiled widely.

“Our pleasure, so sorry couldn’t be here in the beginning you know because of fucking exams,” Cindy said.

“Oh I understand, I’m just happy I’ll get you two for the rest of the tour,” she said.

“Yes!”

“Okay nerds, now c’mon, you must be starving from the flight,” Cindy said before dragging us towards the car waiting outside the airport.

“Yeah flight from London to Shanghai is no joke,” I replied yawning.

“Oh oh turn the radio on,” I said.

“Okay okay,” Sarah turned it on.

Slow Hands started playing.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS OH THIS IS THE BEST,” Cindy shouted, she’s a huge Niall fan.

We all started jamming, I’m sure the driver might think we are all insane. Sarah laughed loudly.

“Man I love this song, I love Niall,” Cindy fangirled.

“Sarah, is Mr. Horan attending any shows?” I asked.

“No I don’t think so, plus if he does and you meet him then pretend me and Cindy are not related, she’ll embarrass herself and I’ll also get embarrassed if he knows we’re sisters,” she shook her head.

“Oh I’m also not related to her either,” I agreed.

“You guys are so mean, oh my god.”

“We love you though,” me and Sarah said in unison.

“Okay kids, we’re here, brace yourself for the best times of your lives, that is seeing me play drums on stage,” she winked.

We giggled, but there’s no denying our girl slays the stage with her drumming skills.

We entered the luxurious hotel, and looked at each other before smiling widely, “we will have a memorable time, I’m so excited.”

Oh it was indeed going to be a memorable trip.

“I love our room Cindy, it’s so big, Sarah went all above and beyond,” I said before seeing the hotel room we will be staying for few days before going to another country.

“Indeed, I’m so proud of my sister, she always dreamed this, you know to be a successful drummer,” she said fondly.

“Remember when we first became best friends and I came to your house to hang out and she tried to teach us to play drums?” I giggled, fondly remembering that day.

“Oh god yes, we were in middle-school back then,” she chuckled. 

“When will she be done by rehearsal?” 

“I think in a couple of hours, she mentioned we all will dine together.”

“Sounds fun, I can’t wait to meet the rest of the band.” I said smiling.

“Styles innit,” she winked.

“Well his songs are cool,” I shrugged.

“I spoke to him once briefly, he’s a gentleman, also he looks so good in pictures and much more good in person, how is this possible?” 

I just chuckled, I never actually met him, Cindy attended few parties and met him, I’m not that big of a fan but the times Cindy made me listen his songs I actually liked them.

Few Hours Later

After freshening up and eating light snacks me and Cindy got dressed up into something comfortable yet fashionable and began watching a random movie that was playing on the tv, waiting for Sarah to come to us.

After half an hour later, Sarah arrived, she looked really tired.

“Just took a shower and quickly got dressed before coming here, it was such an exhausting day, it was worth it though,” she said.

“Are you excited for tomorrow’s show?” I asked smiling.

“Absolutely, now let’s go, we’re going to a restaurant Mitch found for dinner, sounds good?”

“Yes, I miss Mitch, how are you two with all this lovey-dovey process?” Cindy wiggled her eyebrow.

“Uh, I’m not discussing my love-life with my two little sisters, but he’s very nice,” Sarah said blushing slightly.

“Aww, look at her blush,” I teased.

“Shut up you two and follow me,” she said.

We saw three cars waiting for us outside.

“Where’s others?” Cindy asked.

“They’ll join us in a bit,now c’mon get in the car,” Sarah said.

“Hey ladies, how are you two?” Mitch said before engulfing me and Cindy into a welcoming hug.

“Mitch! Hi! We missed you,” me and Cindy replied enthusiastically.

“I missed you guys too,” he replied flashing a smile.

“C’mon let’s go I’m starving!” Sarah whined.

“Relax woman, we’re going,” he said giving Sarah a peck.

.

We are now at the restaurant right now, and the place looks beautiful, it is a rooftop restaurant and the weather was a bit windy so it felt really nice. There was even a bar setup where we can order drinks.

The table that we sat on was huge, there were all band members of C.H.A.S.M, me, Cindy, Jeff, Glenne, Lou and another guy  that looked around our age but I didn’t know his name.

I looked over at Harry and I couldn’t help but stare at him, he’s absolutely gorgeous, the way he smiles is indescribable. I noticed how he’s the center of attention always cracking a joke and talking about everything stuffs other than work. Now I know why Cindy is so mad over him along his other 1D band members, especially Niall.

I heard Sarah say, Harry rented the entire rooftop so they could have some privacy and enjoy the meal. 

The dinner was absolutely delicious and I was so full. Cindy and the boy our age whose name I learnt was Max seemed to be engrossed in conversation. I saw almost everyone was busy talking among themselves.

“I’ll be back, just want to see the view,” I said to Cindy pointing towards the railing where we can see the view.

“Sure babe, I’ll join you in a bit maybe?” She replied.

I nodded.

I walked towards the bar section and ordered a sprite. I then proceeded towards the railing of the rooftop and observed the view below. It was a busy city and all the lights and everything made it seem so wonderful.

“Hi,” I heard a voice from behind.

I turned around to see it was none other than Harry, I was a bit taken aback, “Hello,” I replied politely.

“We haven’t met properly, you’re Sarah’s sister’s best friend?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m Y/N,” I said offering my hand to shake.

“And I’m Harry,” he said smiling, shaking my hand.

“It’s a beautiful view from here wow,” he said before standing beside me.

“Indeed,” I replied sipping my sprite, “are you excited for the show tomorrow?”

“I am, a bit nervous if I must add.” He said sipping his own beverage.

“Don’t be, you’re amazing on stage, I’ve been to two of your shows and it was such a great experience,” I said smiling encouragingly.

“Really?” He asked grinning.

“Yup,” 

“Thanks, I appreciate that. Uh you a fan then?” 

“Well Cindy is. Me? Not really.” I said.

“Ouch that hurt,” he said in mock offence.

“But I liked your album, I mainly came for Sarah but you were so good,” I said.

“Thanks,” he said chuckling.

We talked for two more hours, starting from where we live and which show is our favourite to what type of ice-cream flavor we prefer.

“Guys we gotta head towards the hotel, got a big day ahead,” Jeff said loudly catching everyone’s attention, at this point everyone was scattered around different places talking among themselves.

“It was nice meeting you Harry, goodnight,” I said before hugging him.

“Likewise, um-Y/N -um see you again then, yeah,” he said smiling.

.

.

Since the moment we arrived at the hotel, Cindy couldn’t stop talking about Max and how amazing he was. 

“He also plays violin, I mean that’s so hot,” she gushed.

“Who is he related to?” I asked.

“He’s Jeff’s cousin, he also finished his exams recently so Jeff and Glenne asked him to tag along,” he explained.

“Oh,” I said.

“I saw you talking with Harry, oh my goodness how did you even manage to speak in front of such a perfect human being for so long?” She started asking loudly.

“First of all speak gently, second of all he’s a real gentleman and it didn’t seem like he’s some celebrity he was so down to earth and I enjoyed talking to him.”

“I always knew he’s a gentleman, oh tell me something I don’t already know,” she began singing the last part.

I just rolled my eyes, “Go to sleep kid, I’m so tired, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, can’t wait for the show and meet Max,” she said before turning off the lamp placed on top of the hotel’s nightstand.

PART 2

[jamesginortonblog]

Twenty years from now, you might find yourself sitting by the fire, telling tall tales to young ’uns about the madness and the mayhem of this century’s teenage years, and you might find yourself thinking — if only there was some kind of, I don’t know, TV drama that accurately encapsulated almost everything that was going on in the world in 2017, one that also felt like James Bond meets The Godfather. My friend, the drama you would be looking for is McMafia.

The series is the BBC’s big-budget new-year crime drama. Starring James Norton, Juliet Rylance and David Strathairn, alongside a host of Russian, Israeli, Brazilian and Serbian stars playing mob bosses from their home territory, it blends the stylish globetrotting of The Night Manager and The Sopranos’ take on family values, with a dark underpinning in reality.

McMafia’s script began life as a 2008 book of the same name, an epic study of organised crime by the investigative journalist Misha Glenny; it was then wrestled into a drama by the Oscar-nominated screenwriter Hossein Amini, best known for the Ryan Gosling thriller Drive. At first sight, this looks like another of those impossible-to-film tomes with which British TV is currently besotted. (The City & the City? The Patrick Melrose novels? Are you all insane?) Glenny’s tome details the rise of criminal empires from the dust of eastern Europe’s communist states and the globalisation of crime across continents, using free-market tropes. The term “McMafia”, for instance, is a reference to the Chechen gangs who franchise out the feared Chechen name to thugs across Europe, like a gun-toting Ronald McDonald.

Amini was hauled into the project by James Watkins, the director of Black Mirror and The Woman in Black, who had been trying to squeeze Glenny’s sprawling book into a feature film. “We sat in a little garden at the V&A — which, ironically, ended up in the series — and decided it could only be a TV series,” Watkins recalls as we squat on some antique furniture during a break in the filming of a violent chase in a country house. “It’s got whorls and tone, but no actual characters.”

Over the book’s fragmented vignettes, Amini lays an action thriller-cum-family-drama structure at whose heart is Alex Godman (Norton), the son of a Russian oligarch who was educated at an English boarding school, runs a successful hedge fund and is preparing to marry his ethical activist girlfriend, Rebecca, played by Rylance. When his dodgy uncle starts meddling in Moscow, Alex’s perfect life falls apart and he is thrown into the family business with increasing vigour.

“There are elements of Alex that are based on me,” Amini explains as he joins us. “I came to the UK from Iran in 1977. I was bullied at school for being foreign and found it hard to adjust. My parents can’t go back to Iran, although I could… All of this I put into Alex. So that notion of what it’s like to be Russian, but sometimes be ashamed of being Russian, and trying to work out if you’re British or Russian or something else — that’s very personal.”

Amini writes — or at least rewrites — roles once the lead actor has been cast. Drive’s sparse, moody script was as inspired by Gosling as by James Sallis’s original book. With Norton, he has done much the same thing, sculpting Alex to fit Norton’s natural sense of cool detachment as he boots up his inner Michael Corleone, against the backdrop of a violent global black economy that snakes its tentacles through everything from politics to the illegal deals smartphone makers rely on for their raw materials.

“We saw James playing the Russian aristocratic gentleman in War & Peace, a cultivated Englishman in Grantchester. Then there was Happy Valley, where he’s got this quiet, damaged fury — and it was obvious he would be perfect for a Russian bear inside a bowler hat,” Amini says.

“The thing about Alex is, he’s not a villain and he’s not a hero,” Norton tells me a few months later, as we sit by the Adriatic on Croatia’s Istria peninsula — which is doubling as the south of France and Tel Aviv. “He’s trying to do the right thing, but he’s being screwed up and twisted and turned, and he gets into this sort of spiralling, chaotic mess. They tell me they didn’t see anyone else for the role — I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. What did they see in me?”

Norton’s performance here will do nothing to dampen rumours that he’s the next Bond after Daniel Craig hangs up his Walther PPK. From the moment he steps out of a black cab in a tux onto the steps of the V&A — through spectacular assassination attempts, scenes of brutally trafficked young women, oblique references to the criminal machinations of the Russian government, high-speed chases through luxury mansions and dubious deals in pulsing Tel Aviv nightclubs, with some flashy high finance thrown in — his role has pretty much every ingredient necessary for 007, including the occasional raised eyebrow.

“To be honest, it’s mad, this crazy speculation,” Norton says with a quick laugh. “I think Daniel Craig’s going to do another two. I’m aware that James and Hoss putting me in a tux at the V&A couldn’t be more incendiary. I did say to them, ‘Are you just baiting me and stoking the fire?’”

Either way, he’s aware that this is a potentially career-changing role — not that he’s done badly so far. His elegantly foppish performances in Death Comes to Pemberley and Life in Squares led, unexpectedly, to Sally Wainwright picking him to play Royce, the dark, psychopathic nemesis to Sarah Lancashire’s troubled Catherine Cawood in two series of Happy Valley. The crime-solving vicar Sidney Chambers in Grantchester came shortly after, and he’s been in War & Peace, Flatliners and Black Mirror since then. As Alex, though, he has finally earned leading-man status.

“It’s terrifying in a way, because there’s nowhere to hide, really,” he says, giving a small smile. “Before, my agent was saying I should maybe move to a bit of theatre or a bit of film. Now he’s saying I need to decide how this is going to affect me and where I go next... It’s an AMC and BBC show, the budget is huge, we have Hoss, David Farr and James Watkins on the script, the supporting cast are all A-listers. Being the thread through all those people, I just hope I’m not the one to cock it up.”

The A-list cast, it’s fair to say, is not only impressive, but requires a little explanation. Every television drama project these days has to scream a little louder than the last just to get attention. In 2016, roughly 1,200 brand-new scripted shows were launched in the world’s main television markets, according to the industry number-cruncher the Wit — and estimates for 2017 suggest there will have been considerably more, as Facebook, YouTube and Snapchat launched scripted streaming services and Netflix alone produced 90 shows just in Europe.

McMafia is effectively the BBC’s answer to this internationalisation of talent. The Leviathan star Aleksey Serebryakov and Mariya Shukshina, a Russian TV stalwart, play Alex’s dubious oligarch parents; the Georgian actor Merab Ninidze proves oddly charming as the Kremlin-connected mobster Vadim; the Czech actor and regular Hollywood heavy Karel Roden delivers a weary ex-cop turned crime lord; and the Bollywood star Nawazuddin Siddiqui plays a corrupt Mumbai importer, Dilly Mahmood.

Russians, in other words, play Russians, Indians play Indians and Brazilians play Brazilians. When nationalities speak among themselves, they do so in their own tongue, rather than in the heavily accented pidgin English beloved of earlier shows. Sometimes there are subtitles, sometimes not. It’s a mark of how cosmopolitan the British viewer has become that a primetime drama on a mainstream channel can now drift seamlessly between languages.

“People in the UK don’t really know who these people are, but in their own world, they’re enormous superstar figures and have this immense skill set,” Watkins says. “Some of the Russian actors do so much with so little. Whenever anyone comes in to act with the Russians for the first time, we have to take them aside and say, ‘Look, this isn’t about you or your work, which we love — but before you act with them, watch what they’re doing and make sure you can match it, because they’re setting the tone for the whole piece.’”

Watkins is keen to stress that the tone is gritty, rather than glamorous. Each location is shot with different filters, and the dark, unsettling horror underpinning the action tends to be in the bleached-out bright sunlight of the Middle East. This is grimly true of the second episode, in which a young Russian beautician, Ludmilla, arrives in Egypt for a hotel job. She is picked up by a couple of cheerful locals, who drive her out of Cairo to a concrete shed where she’s beaten, tied up and shoved into the back of a van before being sold on to an armed gang — the first stop in a brutal series of events that leave Ludmilla in Israel, sold on yet again to a haughty brothel keeper.

It’s a shocking subplot, coming so soon after an exotic party at the Palace of Versailles thrown by Vadim — the Russian gangster with Kremlin links — and all the more so because it is the one story lifted directly from Glenny’s book, and is thus, effectively, a dramatised documentary. Indeed, all of the darkest elements in the series are echoes of real life — Amini based one early killing on the 1991 assassination of the former Iranian prime minister Shapour Bakhtiar. And Dimitri Godman’s drunken decline echoes the last grim years of Boris Berezovsky’s life. “We’ve tried not to chase events, because real life is always going to move faster,” Watkins says. “But every fresh headline almost seems to confirm the thesis that the corporate is becoming criminal and the criminal is becoming corporate — the intersection between criminality, intelligence agencies, banking and government.”

“Like most people, I thought the mafia was compelling and exciting,” Norton adds. “There’s money and fast cars and yachts and beautiful women. I hope people see that while we tell that story, we also tell the story of the cost — from human trafficking to drug-dealing and poverty-stricken junkies in Mumbai whose habits pay for someone’s superyacht.” He pauses. “Though I’m now aware that there are things in this phone that are unethically sourced, and I’m still using it every single day. So this probably won’t make a significant difference.”

Which is part of the final trick that Watkins and Amini play — constantly taking us back to London parties and ethical business launches by semi-legal tycoons, making clear our complicity in all the sordid crime and violent murders the show depicts. The most chilling paragraph in Glenny’s book does exactly the same.

“Organised crime is such a rewarding industry,” he writes, “because ordinary Western Europeans spend an ever-burgeoning amount of their spare time and money sleeping with prostitutes; smoking untaxed cigarettes; sticking €50 notes up their noses; employing illegal untaxed immigrant labour on subsistence wages; admiring ivory and sitting on teak; or purchasing the liver and kidneys of the desperately poor in the developing world.”

So, if you do end up in 20 years’ time using McMafia as a document of our fractured era — from Russian political meddling to dubious oil deals to corrupt hedge funds and ruined human lives — you might want to prepare yourself for the obvious question from your loving offspring: what did you do to try to stop it?

[allenmendezsr]

The Flat Belly Code - Belly Fat Blasting System

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[thankyouorphanblack-blog]

@sashafiercexo

Thank you Orphan Black

Holy Fricken Christmas Cake, where do I begin?

I never in my wildest imaginations thought that a television show could become such a huge part of my life, and it still amazes me to this day when I think about it.

Orphan Black is something I will never forget and it really brings me to tears knowing that this trip is almost over, that saying goodbye is right around the corner. I bet in 20, 30, even 50 years I’ll still be raving about it, the weird little clone show that meant the world to me, reminiscing constantly, and eagerly saying to people “hey you should watch orphan black!” I truly feel as if it is the only show I will ever hold close to my heart, and I honestly can’t even begin to find the right words to say thank you. I can’t begin to find the right words to express my gratitude and love for this show, or to merely explain what an imprint it has left in my life over the years. But, hopefully these words will do.

July 9th 2014 (Yes, I remember the day, I’m a sentimental goofball!) is a day I’ll never forget. I remember seeing recommendations for a show called Orphan Black and thought ‘hey, why not’. I heard about the critical praise and the main actress playing multiple characters so I gave it a go. Man, was I hooked! You’d be crazy not to with that opening scene. Never has a show captivated me and gathered my attention as quickly as OB. Jaw dropping television at its finest. I was screaming at the damn screen!

But it wasn’t until the iconic “you’re damn right” moment, Sarah transforming into Beth that sealed the deal for me. This was just the beginning. From then on, the surprises, shocks and twists never stopped and I was in complete awe of everything. From the crazy storylines to the mind-bending brilliance of Tatiana, the genre bending madness, and everything else in between.

Shortly after binging S1 and 2, I became the ultimate fan girl.

Getting all my friends & family to watch, having Orphan black birthday cakes, collecting the pop funkos, having posters on my walls, buying the Dvd’s, calendars, writing essays (personal and for school purposes) being infatuated and mesmerised by the scores, having in depth conversations about it, re watching a zillion times and so much more!

But it was beyond that, past the fangirling, that I found a deeper connection with this show. Reasons why it meant so much to me & still does years later. A few reasons why I will always treasure it. -

Little bucket of happiness- There was a time period in my life where I was at my lowest and loneliest. The last year of high school, friends would come and go and most days it was extremely hard to get out of bed. It was one of the hardest times for me, trapped in this spiral of depression that seemed to never end. Ironically, that was around the time I started watching Orphan Black. Orphan black coincidentally entered my life at a time when I needed it the most. It was an outlet for me - my little bucket of happiness. It was my safe space I could go to, making me smile and laugh when I needed to be cheered up. I had it to keep me going in this difficult time, to motivate me to study, and many sleepless nights I found myself watching episodes/cast videos/interviews etc. Even when I was alone at school lunchtimes I found myself watching episodes in the library on my phone. It just brought me this sense of comfort and joy unlike any other TV show I had ever watched. There’s a message about the show representing outsiders & putting them front and centre and I truly feel that’s one of the reasons I resonated with it so much. The deep sense of inclusion at a time when I felt like an outsider in my life. It was a show that comforted me in a dark time – and it’s been exactly that. Ever since then, during the highs and lows of my life within the past 3 years, Orphan Black has always been there, not just as my favourite TV show, but as my dose of happiness whenever I needed. It has remained as this constant uplifting part of my life, this outlet to make me smile and laugh, to make me feel included, and at times when I felt like giving up it gave me hope and reason to keep me going. I will always cherish this show because of that. As my little bucket of happiness. Even nowadays, with everything that is happening in my life, it’s still there for me and I just couldn’t be more grateful and appreciative that this show is real and it exists. I can’t thank Orphan Black enough for giving me unexplainable joy and for making me so incredibly happy during the past years, but most importantly, for giving me a sense of comfort, as that is something I will always remember.

LGBT Representation /Sexuality – I’m filled with so much gratitude and I know other members of clone club can relate to this as well. But one of the major reasons this show connected with us on such a profound level, is because it helped us to find ourselves, it helped us to stand proud and live our truest lives. Just as Evelyne said “ The best thing a show can do is create empathy and freedom of identity, and if our show can have a little bit of impact on anybody’s life…that stuff happens when fiction inspires reality to be more of what it should be’ and I think that sums up perfectly this next part as to why I will never forget Orphan Black. In 2015 I had a chance to slow down and focus on myself. I had been questioning my sexuality, trying to come to terms with what I was feeling, and struggling to make sense of it all. Feeling confused and also scared to admit that part of myself. It was an extremely overwhelming time for me. I dealt with a lot of doubt and self-hate and I wasn’t certain of myself or how to interpret these feelings I had- and it wasn’t until OB S3 that I was sure. Seeing the love shared between Cosima and Delphine and the intimacy between Cosima and Shay, something clicked inside for me and it felt as if a door had been opened wide. Everything began to make sense. Seeing these two relationships on screen, made me all together, simultaneously, realise/confirm/accept/understand everything I had been questioning and doubting beforehand. Everything I had been trying to deny and push away. I found myself saying “This, this is what I want” and from then on so many things in my life have changed. All thanks to Orphan Black, I’m content, happy and proud of that part of me and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. How powerful is media and television when it can really change someone’s life? How powerful is it seeing yourselves on a screen or a relationship on screen and for it to allow you to accept yourself? It feels ethereal and unexplainable really, the way this show has impacted me in that sense. Even currently, watching Cophine in season 5. I feel so proud and warm within. Not just in terms of OB helping me come to terms with my sexuality, but how this show honours and respects its LGBT audience. These relationships we see don’t shed negativity on the fact that they’re two women and making that the main problem, but rather the situation they’re in. As well, we see characters standing individually, where Cosima isn’t defined by her sexuality, and neither is Delphine. Felix also, even though he is gay, that is the tiniest fraction of his life and personality, alongside being a brother, a talented artist and so much more.It’s something extraordinary really, the impact a television show can have on one’s life, and I will forever be indebted to Orphan Black because of this. For helping me, and countless others feel proud of who they are. I also just know this representation is something that will continue to live on forever and make its mark in TV history, and for this factor, I couldn’t be more proud to be a fan of this special little clone show.  

Feminism - I came to be passionate about feminism a few years ago and I always wondered why I felt so drawn to Orphan Black, despite the ability to constantly keep me hooked with the manic and insane storylines – it was because of this. These characters. These kickass female characters which I had never seen on TV before. We had these characters defying gender barriers and expectations, and we had all negative stereotypes smashed to pieces. Alison wasn’t just another soccer mom, but someone who can also fight to protect her family, Cosima wasn’t the expected hippie, but a warm sister, who’s intellectual, cheeky and full of spirit. We didn’t have the expected villains with Rachel and Helena, but rather a corporate clone with a damaging and lonely upbringing, and a psycho killer with a dark past who just wants love and a sense of belonging, and so on. These characters represent, remind us and show us on screen, the diversities and never ending layers of what it means to be a woman. The show represents who we are, and surprises us of who we can be. These characters we see, show real complexities of women, the strength they carry, the weakness, the pain, the courage, the heartache, just as women in real life. It felt like a lightbulb moment for me when my interest and love for this show interconnected with my passion for feminism. I found myself ripping apart and dissecting these characters, and really digging into the themes the show presented (e.g.; body autonomy, nature vs nurture, women’s rights etc). But ultimately, I started to understand the power and responsibility that television has in regards to positive portrayal of women on our screens. The art of storytelling through television is so important, and in that sense Orphan Black broke and pushed the boundaries on just how multifaceted women are. It’s raw, relatable, easy to connect with but most importantly realistic. - At times when my sexuality feels like a problem I know I’m not defined by it, just like Cosima. Or times when I feel lost or unloved like I used to, I can look at Helena’s journey and find strength and similarities to mine (excluding the murdering and being pregnant, ha) I can find reminders of how far I have come, just as she. I can find myself instantly relating to these characters and their stories, drawing from them for inspiration and hope. And when fiction can cause that ripple effect, it’s truly something special. Orphan black has prompted me to become more attentive and aware of feminism in modern day media and television, and due to that factor alone, it felt somewhat revolutionary for me. But not just myself, Orphan Black feels somewhat revolutionary in terms of women in TV, and I am almost certain it will be sure to leave its mark in history books because of this. “I hope that it opened people’s eyes and It helped open some doors” It truly did, and I am so thankful this show has opened my eyes in terms of feminism in television, but most of all it makes me feel proud to be a woman. To see a show where women are front and centre and they’re not boxed or defined by their gender. Orphan Black has truly shown me how impactful positive representation can have in one’s life, and as well as in entertainment itself, and for that I will be forever grateful.

Thank you Orphan Black! This show has meant more to me than I could have ever imagined and it’s something I will never forget. Thank you for being there in times of darkness, in times where I was struggling to accept myself and thank you for your portrayal of women and their complexities. And thank you for completely leaving me in awe and spoiling me in terms of top notch, exhilarating and smart television. You have set my expectations very high and I just know this show will always have a special place in my heart no matter what.

Thank you Tatiana, for sharing your talent with the world. You constantly leave me blown away in every single episode. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and kindness, for being so passionate with your love for acting, and giving your heart and soul in these characters, who showed strength, courage, and depth. Thank you for Sarah’s bravery, Rachel’s determination and will power, Cosima’s humanity, Alison’s humour, Helena’s protectiveness yet adorable and unpredictable nature, Krystal’s perseverance and Beth’s love. Thank you Kathryn! As the magic of the clones wouldn’t be possible without your generosity and humbled heart. Thank you Jordan for Felix, for his warmth, humour, humane spirit and his ability to not be defined by his gender or sexuality. Thank you Maria for the badass and iconic woman that is Mr S! A mother, fighter, and just the best foster mother on TV! Thank you Evelyne for your magical hair (ha, kidding). Thank you for the pride you take in playing Delphine. Thank you for her will to survive, her dedication and thank you for realising the importance of what it means to play a queer character on TV. Thank you Kristian for Donnie, for his hilarious and wacky journey and his humour that never fails to make me laugh uncontrollably. Thank you Kevin for Art’s humanity and his moral compass that has been something like the heart of the show since s1. Thank you to everyone involved who made this show possible. Thank you for the crazy science, the earth shattering ability to go against the norm on TV, and thank you for creating magic on our screens that constantly leaves me speechless. Most importantly thank you John and Graeme! As this show was all because of you two. Thank you for breaking boundaries, writing so boldly, for pushing the envelope constantly and thank you for creating this piece of art – this weird little clone show that I know will live on forever, in my life and everyone else’s in Clone Club. I am going to miss this show like nothing else, and I am filled with so much gratitude and love for it. I feel so incredibly lucky that I was able to be a part of this unforgettable trip, so I say thank you once again Orphan Black. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such a huge and beautiful part of my life these past 3 years. This truly is something I will cherish for the rest of my life! x

Sasha, a clone club member all the way from Australia.

Twitter – sashafiercexo