#sapphicdiscovery

[thebibliosphere]

I just got unfollowed by a mutual because I reblogged a post saying I supported poly ppl and that poly ppl are valid and they made their own post quoting it with the tag "y'all really wanna be oppressed and pretend polyamory isn't made to control women" like... nothing in the post said poly ppl are oppressed just that they're valid and I didn't even wanna touch the second part. It really bothered me and I guess I've just been looking for an excuse to unfollow them so that was the silver lining.

Sorry to vent at you, I just... I've been thinking about it all night now and it just bothers me how people will go out of their way to be rude when there's really nothing to be rude about ya know? Like how is it offensive to say I support ppl who ID as poly? Or that they are valid if they do? I'm sure polyamory has been used to control women at some point in history, but that doesn't make ppl who ID as that any less valid right?

I think your former mutual, is mistaking polyamory for bigamy (or possibly even swinging), or just has a very skewed view of what polyamory actually is and is looking at it through the socialized norm of monogamy, which lets face it, is an institution which has been used to oppress women since ooooh, a very long time indeed. 

So if that is indeed their way of thinking: monogamy is a toxic societal trend with no place in a a moral society that aims to treat women equally. (I am not saying that it is, merely that if I follow through on their argument this is the only logical conclusion I can come to.)

I wouldn’t let it bother you too much. They are clearly coming at it from a perspective by someone who has been hurt, either by a cheater claiming to be poly, or from another bad experience. But it’s not your place to try and make them believe that poly can be and often is just a healthy as most monogamous relations, if not often more so because of the emphasis on clear and honest communication needed in order to sustain something like polyamory, which sounds ridiculous because that should also be an emphasized feature of monogamy—and sometimes it is!—but speaking as a female in a monogamous relationship with a male, the advice I usually get from other women in similar circumstances is wholly toxic, with emphasis on passive communication and a seeming resignation that their frustrations have no good outcome because that’s just the way men are. Which is some heteronormative bullshit.

Oh sure you’ll always have the manipulative fucker who claims men aren’t men to be with one partner and use it as an excuse to cheat, and I am sure polyamory has proved useful to their argument. But then what they are doing isn’t polyamory as polyamory comes from a mutual agreement that hey, I would like to have relations with more than one person, you would like to have relations with more than one person, lets be rational about this and talk about it and do this thing together, or not! As the case may be :)

So yea...I’d say sorry for the lost mutual, but it seems like their opinion wasn’t worth having in the first place, so enjoy your new slightly less toxic dash I guess?

[shaloved30]

sapphicdiscovery replied to your post: dawnsfragrance reblogged your photoset#any man...

I love that this literally won’t allow boyfriends to compliment their own girlfriends or a friend to give another friend a compliment, it’s just… wow.

lol a lot was happening there all around that didn’t have to in that comment for sure

[pocketgalaxies]

sapphicdiscovery replied to your post “is there a tag for grey’s anatomy spoilers? i’m going to be using #ga...”

wiat is it coming back today?

nah but they just released new promo pics that are sparking a lot of discussion so i figured i’d ask

[queeninthnorth]

A @sapphicdiscovery moodboard

[bygone-age]

@sapphicdiscovery I thought you might like this!

[queeninthnorth]

thanks for tagging me @margotsaoirse

rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

relationship status: unfortunately single

chapstick or lipstick: uh chapstick I guess but I don't use either

favorite colours: blue and green and back

last song you listened to: girls like girls by Hayley Kiyoko

last movie you saw: I watched Macbeth (2015) last night bc Lady Macbeth is hot

top three tv shows: this is really hard but currently Supergirl, Sense8 and Black Lightning

books i’m currently reading: The Gospel According To Blindboy by Blindboy Boatclub

Imma tag @sreabhadh-na-saoirse @pekpekpekpekpekpekpekpekpekpek and @sapphicdiscovery bc im not bothered typing 9 urls

[queeninthnorth]

Shuffle Tag

Tagged by @emiscn

Rules: put your music on shuffle and wrote the first 10 songs that come up

1. Keywest - Something Beautiful

2. Sleeping at last - Light

3. Becky G - Mayores

4. Kesha - Praying

5. Kodaline - High Hopes

6. Emeli Sande - Hurts

7. Troye Sivan - Talk Me Down

8. Bootstraps - Stand By Me

9. Hozier - From Eden

10. Dua Lipa - New Rules

Uh imma tag @sapphicdiscovery (just give me ur best broadway boo) @pekpekpekpekpekpekpekpekpekpek and @idek264