#saph gets brainrot tattoo edition

[sapphire-wine]

WHERE is a fic of tattoo artist Phoenix putting up a sheet of steel samurai themed flash at Maya's request and then we get Miles "i was told to live a little" Edgeworth

[sapphire-wine]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FEYYYYYYYY THANK YOU I LOVE IT ITS SO GOOOODDD

This is exactly how I picture it especially Phoenix's tattoos and everyone's piercings <333

Whatever the fuck Maya and Simon got going on indeed...

I'm going to print this out and eat it thank you

i actually never post art anymore but am loving @sapphire-wine‘s very fun au where phoenix is a tattoo artist, mia does piercings, edgeworth is smitten and everyone else just hangs out at the claire’s across the street. it just jumped out of my pen.

[sapphire-wine]

Miles originally getting the smallest steel samurai tattoo from Phoenix: oh my god that was so scandalous of me what would everyone think...

Miles, months later bursting through the door in a rare bout of confidence and fanaticism : I WANT THE ENTIRE NEO OLDE TOKYO FINALE CLIMAX FIGHT ON MY BACK

Phoenix: Hey okay well first of all say hi to me and my current client and second why don't you get a cup of water and think that over okay? <3

[sapphire-wine]

Miles gets a crush on the tattoo guy and Franziska's life gets 300% better for various reasons. Namely free tattoos and piercings and getting to watch her brother fail horribly at trying to flirt with the cute tattoo artist.

(Fortunately for Edgeworth, Phoenix does not pick up on the fact he is bad at flirting.)

Also I love the implication that literally everyone except Phoenix is aware that Edgeworth only keeps coming in to try and flirt with him. Mia knows, Franziska is exploiting it, the collection of teenagers who work at Claire's at the mall across the street probably spend their breaks reenacting it dramatically to mock both of these men. Phoenix remains entirely oblivious.

(Possibly because he also finds Edgeworth cute and is too self-conscious to consider that maybe Edgeworth is actually there to see him. He just thinks the dude is a good brother and maybe recommended the shop because he found it to be good quality.) (Phoenix is not going to admit he as a person is worth coming to see and spend time around but he's good at his job and will admit that far more easily.)

EXACTLY! YOU'VE BROKEN THIS AU DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS

Phoenix doesn't realize why the shop fills up whenever Fran has an appointment but it's all so they can watch the spectacle that is Miles Edgeworth try to converse. Mia lets some of them stay if they promise to behave. Franziska gets sucked into the teen friend group because "man it's so cool your brother pays for your piercings" "maya you get piercings for free" "still"

In love with the idea of dramatic reenactments this is Kay and Maya's time to shine.

Kay: And then he says 'adequate hand work- line work-lines. nice lines' Maya: And Nick just said thanks and walked off! Absolutely oblivious!

They keep recreating when Phoenix tripped over the chair leg and Miles caught him and almost dropped him again.

But truly you said all of this so much better than I ever could and this is why I have so much brainrot today over this

Phoenix: Eh I don't really think he's interested we don't talk too much *proceeds to draw a whole page of steel samurai and chess concepts*

[sapphire-wine]

simon, kay, maya and ema being dumb teenages working at the mall is my favorite part of the au, underrated squad

Kay steals the piercing gun for Maya who goes "I've seen my sister pierce people hundreds, no thousands of times, this'll be a piece of cake" and she immediately gives Simon the most lopsided piercing ever. Ema's recording which is how everyone finds out about it later.

Diego, who has gotten everything pierced by Mia: Ah I see the Fey flirting method is hereditary

Mia: Don't compare my work to this.

[sapphire-wine]

Miles gets Gumshoe to go in for a tattoo of Missile. It backfires because Gumshoe and Phoenix talk about the dog the entire time.

Phoenix: Is this a memorial tattoo? :( Gumshoe: Oh no! He's fine I just love him :) Here's pictures of him chasing the water out of the hose Miles, enjoying the pictures but wanted some talking time: hmmm

Miles sticks with going with Franziska after that

[sapphire-wine]

i mean edgeworth is 100% the sort of person who gets super loopy and emotional after getting a tattoo done. franziska watches him pretend he's not crying about the hot artist in the car after the appointment and decides she's going to help out if only so that she can make fun of him about it for all time

Miles, sobbing: Franziska when it was finished I didn't even tell him it looked good I accidentally said he looked good what am I going to do??

Franziska: The universe has given me a gift

[sapphire-wine]

franziska has two full tattoo sleeves done no I won’t be accepting criticism ❤️

CORRECT she actually already had a few when Miles got into his debacle so after the piercings she starts designing the sleeve of her dreams on Edgeworth's dime (she has the money herself but it'll feel so much better making him continue to pay)

Fran: If you make me pay for my own piercings and ink you simply won't be invited to the appointment.

Miles, too worried and awkward to continuously get pierced and tattooed himself but wants to keep going in: *withdrawing the money*

[sapphire-wine]

Franziska's life gets 300% better anon, and I am living for the idea that Fran gets sucked into the teen friend group because they are all equally invested in the drama that is Phoenix and Edgeworth conversing during her appointments and Maya thinking it's cool she got him to pay for her.

It gets out that the only reason she keeps dropping by and getting him to pay is because Edgeworth wants to hang around Phoenix and Fran saw an opportunity and at least one member of this friend group jokingly declares her their hero.

Franziska did not expect to make friends because she wanted to make fun of her brother but like, she's not complaining. Another reason her life immediately gets better because her brother got a crush on the tattoo guy.

Also, Phoenix with an entire section of his portfolio and concept options just being able to be filed under "Things I Think Edgeworth Might Like" is the greatest thing. He has no reason to assume Edgeworth would ever get another tattoo after the first one but in case he does then he'll be prepared for it. Every time he learns something new about Edgeworth he sketches up something new, just in case.

Gods, this AU is going to live rent free in my brain for so long, thank you this is amazing.

It's just that meme that's like "I receive: Time with my crush. You receive: free piercings and many unexpected friends"

She's the only one in the group besides Ema that doesn't get recruited at the local Claire's at one point but it's a near thing.

Brainrot today, brainrot tomorrow, brainrot forever <3

The end of the AU is the Claire's actually does burn down (all eyes turn to Ema) and Apollo rejoices

[sapphire-wine]

The crew begging Apollo to give them the latest Phoenix and Miles gossip because he's the only one allowed to be there in an official capacity and the rest of them got kicked out.

Apollo, who has been having to deal with the Gavinner's manager to set up an appointment for their lead singer who is all but refusing to come in for a separate consultation appointment: I am *this* close to tearing my hair out and you want me to tell you if they touched hands?? Of course they did!

Apollo after Klavier faints from the needle, coming to the hang out with the most caffeinated coffee: If I hear one stunted growth joke today I'll burn down the Claire's

[sapphire-wine]

Can Ema work at the sunglasses kiosk at the mall so she comes to buy the sunglasses from claire to resell them and keep the cash herself?

Oh absolutely...and she buys the asbestos eyeshadow palettes to test them at home with her chem kit (which she bought by reselling the sunglasses).

Very lucrative business

[sapphire-wine]

The idea for your tattoo/piercing AU has put the thought in my head of Edgeworth getting one tattoo as a result of [vague handwavey motion] and falling for the cute tattoo artist (Phoenix) hard, and then lamenting his fate to Franziska because outside of the odd touch up he has no reason to ever go back there and so he has no excuse to hang around and spend time with the cute guy.

Cue conversation that results in Edgeworth escorting Franziska to the shop so she can get additional piercings in her ears (I think she'd be able to pull off a whole slew of them in the shell of her ears) so her silly little brother can spend the appointment attempting to flirt with the tattoo guy. She gets every piercing done individually per appointment to give them an excuse to stop by more times.

Mia is aware of what's going on. Phoenix is not.

This honestly all started because I was thinking Phoenix put up pieces for people to pick from all Steel Samurai inspired because he got bullied into it by Maya. And then Miles (who was recently told to live a little) is like "I am going to get such a good grade in being spontaneous") and goes to get one.

Yes I love the idea of Franziska being like "pay for my rook" "fine." but it's with every piercing she gets. She feels very powerful and it's the least she can do because she is getting a piercing AND a show.

Mia: And here are all of our available appointments (only gives the dates and times Phoenix is working)

Fran: yes these will do nicely thank you

[sapphire-wine]

also i think this au is funniest if teen goth simon works at claire's (he got fired from hot topic) and he and maya have a star crossed romance because she keeps telling people to not go in the shop and he's supposed to stop her from doing that but she's cute and also he doesn't get paid enough to care

FEY FEY I AM HOLDING YOUR HAND I WAS ALSO THINKING ABOUT SIMON (AND POSSIBLY KAY) WORKING AT CLAIRES

YES YES I LOVE IT

Maya: Came for the buy 3 get 3 free sale and to drive out competition, stayed for the cute goth

[sapphire-wine]

fun fact about claire's - my sister worked there when she was 16/17 and they literally let her pierce ears. for a while she was their most senior piercer because a bunch of the older employees quit at once. i have no idea if this is also legal in the us but i do love the concept of maya threatening to go work there in a fit of rebellion and mia being horrified to learn they let her 17 year old sister at the piercing gun with the bare minimum of training

I got my ears pierced at Claire's and the infection was so bad for like two months and the holes were so uneven I had them for like 6 years and then took them out at the end of eighth grade never to be seen again. I don't know how old the girl was but I think as long as you aren't missing both of your hands they'll let you pierce ears at Claire's.

Maya steals the gun and brandishes it at the dining table. She enjoys the discount. She's having the time of her life and Mia is frustrated, impressed, and thankful she isn't doing anything worse all at once.

Mia: Is this to get back at me for when I pierced your ears with ice and a sewing needle when we were younger because that came out straight.

Maya gets fired because she's been promoting her sister's shop during work hours. It's the sweetest thing Mia's ever heard she almost sheds a tear.

[sapphire-wine]

Maya's unofficial job is to stand in front of the Claire's across the street and tell people not to get their ears pierced there. Then she walks in and comes out twenty minutes later with items from the buy 3 get 3 free sale

[sapphire-wine]

april may is the manager of the Claire's but she's never because she's too busy flirting with the Dick's' manager. Kay is somehow assistant manager.

Correct absolutely. When she is there she and Simon butt heads constantly and it draws a crowd.

Oldbag also works at Claire's and it's a very sore spot that she isn't assistant manager instead of this 18 year old. Either that or she's mall security that takes her job way too seriously and yet not seriously enough a la canon.