#sao shitpost

[albacasstuff]

Today’s podio was something like:

GURL OMG THIS RACE 🙇🏻😼🧎🏾‍➡️ Absolutely Top S+ in my race tier list.

[poscariastri]

alpine team party is gonna be fuckin lit tonight i just know it

[charleclercc]

confused because ollie mentioned making mistakes today? does he not understand he can literally do no wrong? he must be confused, he's just a little angle baby

[approximateknowledge]

i think it's very funny that as far as i can remember, kirito uses exactly one actual "weapon" irl throughout the story (kendo doesn't count)

and it's literally just an umbrella she stabs a guy in the leg with *once* at the start of alicization before almost dying and then having to recover from neurotoxin-induced brain damage for the next few volumes (as one does)

^behold: the only real sword in the whole series

[crimsoneveline]

is Kirito a trans girl? obviously! and also likely canon!

does Reki Kawahara know what hrt is/does? now that's the real question!

[madmanwonder]

Weiss Channeling Her Inner SAO Abridged Asuna

[rainynightmoonlight]

What did you do??

Y/n: *sleeping soundly on their desk*

Ace: *draws a cat face on them*

Yuu & Deuce: *Watching this happen, fearing for Ace's life*

Y/n: *waking up from their small nap noticing their friends staring at them* Hey guys, what's going on?

Ace: Hey sleepy head, how was your na- *screams*

Y/n: *grabs Ace's shirt and glares at him, picking up the tone* Tell me what you did right now! And you may live.

Ace: *stammers trying to answer* I drew whiskers on your face!

Y/n: *releases their grip on Ace, looking confused* What?

Ace: I drew cat whiskers on you because I thought it would be funny, and it was.

Y/n: *glares at Ace* With what kind of marker?

Ace: *jumps out of his desk, knowing he fucked up*

Y/n: *runs after him* Get back over here you little shit!

Yuu & Deuce: *deadpans, not surprised how the situation went*

Taglist: @nightshade-clown

a/n: Me and a friend have been binging Sao abridged, and this quote was too perfect for Ace and Y/n

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!

[nadien-aqui1]

Some time in the Ever After

Rusted Knight Jaune: So uh - heh - hey, uh, random question. Uh, you didn’t hear anything… weird last night… did you?

Alyx and Lewis: Uhh…

The night before

RK Jaune: *distant crying in the woods* Penny! Oh gODs! WHy coUlDN’t I sAvE yOU?! WhY?!

Alyx, Lewis, and Curious Cat: …

RK Jaune: Ah, Penny! PENNY! *cries with ferocity*

End of Flashback

Alyx: Uh, no! Definitely not!

Lewis: I’m, like, a super heavy sleeper, so…

RK Jaune: Good! Good. Ahem. Yeah, sleep is… sleep is good.

Alyx: Soo…

CC: *Zero hesitation* Who’s Penny?

RK Jaune: I KNEW IT!

[passionateabteverything]

Okay we've already got the "Yes queen" line, how much do you want to bet that when Zheng Yi Sao kills someone, one of the crew members would be like "slay queen!"

[nachtvale101]

Made some mistakes the first time with this post, we good now lmao

Anyway. Drew Bercouli using a meme image, he's so fine fr. Def gonna draw him again sometime

[moonlit-doodles]

finishing up alicization so had to throw this together rq

[charleclercc]

lando rn

[approximateknowledge]

beater syndrome or: "why people misunderstand vriska and kirito for the same reason"

so a little while ago i made a random shitpost that ended me up with this image

^cursed entity

and it's come back to haunt me with ungogly revelations which i will now share because i have to it feels important

context: originally i was just gonna make a post about kirito, explaining how people misunderstand the character and *why* (and why it's completely understandable); but then i realised there was a real pattern here and the subconscious connection that led to the above cursed image suddenly made sense in my mind

so here it is:

the reason kirito gets mischaracterised so often has entirely to do with the combination of:

a) most people only having watched the aincrad arc (<;keyword watched),

and

b) the fact the anime gives a twisted image of the characters due to the fact the internal dialogues from the light novel get cut out completely

the end result of this is that when most people talk about "kirito", they're actually talking about "the beater", and those are crucially *not the same*!

the "beater" is a *role*, and a very specific one at that; it's what happens when you try to "own up" to accusations and unreasonable expectations (internal or external) to such an extent you're always playing the same self-destructive part, and because it's fundamentally a defense mechanism you just get stuck in it until things change drastically enough it finally feels safe to stop playing that horrible role and try to remember who you really are, after everything's over

that's what's happening here; when people say a character is "a kirito" they're actually referring to the beater, and the reason those characters suck ass is because they unironically use what's actually a coping mechanism in a horrible situation for a character's actual personality; of course it sucks! because they're doing it wrong!

it's about trying to convince yourself being a loner destructive scapegoat is "cool" despite always having a nagging insecurity it might just not be, but given the circumstances you're in too deep and so the sunk cost fallacy compels you to keep going

it's not *actually* cool; if anything it's depressing

now i think it's becoming obvious how all of this applies to vriska as well, but there's one crucial difference: the death game never actually *ends* for vriska serket; even now in post-canon she's arguably the *only* character who seems to still be playing sgrub, or maybe she never even stopped flarping

except for one version of her. for (vriska) the game did finally end. and they're the same

the beater dies when the game ends, and we see it happen to both of them

(also they're both transfem i didn't know how to fit that in but they are and that's a fact)

[crimsoneveline]

So for a while now I've been thinking of the concept of putting Kirito in The Basement (for whatever Sister of Dorley offshoot Japan would have, Sisters of Onimai). But the thing is: Yui (and the gang) would have figured out where Kirito is within 24 hours!

...and then Asuna would have a knife at the throat of the Aunt Bea equivalent demanding to know where Kirito is.

(Of course Chibi Asuna would respond after hearing the plan for Kirito: "Oh! Good idea. I'll leave her in your care and will visit regurlarly.")