#santa claus mythos
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pealeii · 22 days ago
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and what if i said santa was my blorbo
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simptasia · 19 days ago
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check out Arthur Christmas if you haven't, or again if you have. it's my favourite Christmas movie and its so underrated. i think it deserves to become a Christmas classic one day
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partyinvalhalla · 28 days ago
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Didn't a lot of Santa Claus mythology come from Odin?
8 reindeer- eight legs of sliepnir
Flying in a sleigh- wild hunt
Association with Christmas- Association with yule
Old man with big white beard
Wanders around
Some of my favourite pieces of Christmas media are the ones that are straight up Evangelical propaganda, but they don't want to appear as such, so they copy and paste Santa Claus into Jesus' place. Like, I appreciate the hustle, my dudes, but I cannot begin to explain how many heresies you just promulgated.
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fictionadventurer · 2 months ago
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huntthemouse · 1 month ago
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Krampus Mickey
340/365 #hunt the gift
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Krampus is a weird lil holiday character I've never really paid much attention to, especially because the origins are seemingly unknown- older than Santa Claus, added likely to distance Santa from punishing anyone by making a separate entity doing it. It's a much more recent addition to the lore in North America so I wonder if younger generations think he's a more normal character in the mythos than I do.
I am making 365 new versions of Mickey Mouse for the public domain and releasing them under public domain all year long.
You can join the initiative to #hunt the mouse or suggest a theme yourself via my ask box.
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throatofdelusion12 · 1 year ago
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take my bread, please, oh God just take it
Make sure to leave something out for Cthonaut A tonight.
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At the very least.
He’s been very busy of late.
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Especially at this time of year.
And don’t ask him any stupid questions if you’re there when he does eventually show up.
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infamouslydorky · 8 months ago
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Consider: a portrait of JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis (friends in real life, also weird old men)
I mean, who am I to judge people for their interests? Love that Tolkien was such a language nerd that he built a world and mythos around the actual languages he made up and even makes localization meta references when "translating" the stories of Hobbits to our reality. I love that Lewis adds a lamppost and Santa claus to his story to spite his friend Tolkien. I love that they put each other in their stories. They're just two nerdy professor pals that got on each other's nerves living their lives
I just don't want to do a disservice to people who actually existed
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princess-of-the-corner · 1 month ago
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"Santa was a Viking before becoming Kris Kringle."
Actually has basis in mytho-history, since the legend of Santa Claus can trace its roots back to Odin (with other figures, like Saint Nicholas, mixed in along the way).
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tt9ucyHV-I) (Link is to the Overly Sarcastic Productions video on Christmas myths.)
Huh,
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wouldatulpahelpthem · 17 days ago
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❄️ Winter Holiday Special Edition ❄️
Saint Nick is generally thought to have been a real person whose tradition of secret gift giving created the Santa Claus mythos. He was a bishop in the late 200's to early 300s, and is considered the patron saint of many things, including sailors, merchants, children, and toymakers.
The depiction of Santa Claus as a jolly rosy-cheeked plump old fellow with white hair and a big white beard who drives a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer most likely originated in whole or in part from the poem, A Visit From Saint Nicholas, also known as "'Twas the Night Before Christmas."
Personally I think Santa Claus would enjoy having a tulpa to talk to on his long night journey visiting every house all around the world, but Saint Nicholas might be more wary. The idea of Santa Claus having The Grinch as a tulpa is hilarious to me though!
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scott-griffin · 12 days ago
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I was kinda glum most of the holiday season so i decided to makeup my own Santa mythos.
Basically Christopher Kringle was a Scottish carpenter and woodworker. Because he and his wife were unable to have children he held a strong reverence for saint Nicholas and always attended his holiday. As the feast of saint Nicholas morphed into Christmas, Chris earned the nickname of Father Christmas due to his tendency to bring down a sleigh full of free toys for children on Christmas day. Chris’ wood working skills were very sought after, so he was summoned one December evening to the home of a local lord. A snow storm blocked his path and he and his wife were forced to take a detour through the woods where they were captured by the fae. Chris’ warm jolly demeanor endeared him to the fae and they allowed him to bring toys to human children on Christmas day. Since fairy children age very slowly but have the life experience of decades, some of the fae children started to help Chris make his toys. As humans began to expand into fairy territory Chris had the idea to make a sanctuary for magical creatures hidden away from humans. So his fae friends built a secret city in the north pole, where they were joined by elves, gnomes, dwarves and all the other magical creatures of the world. Chris’ workshop expanded and the scope of his yearly project grew. Since elve and fairy children have the intelligence of an adult but still poses a child’s mind they were able to make amazing toys that the children of the world would cherish. His life extended by magic Chris spent the centuries wishing everyone a merry Christmas. To keep track of what everyone wants and also keep track of who’s naughty and nice, a few fairy and elf families still live among us in secret, passing things along to the north pole. As the operation expanded Chris accepted the title of Santa Claus as he felt he was doing Saint Nicholas’ work. Santa’s reindeer are actually dragons that shape shift into reindeer during Santas Christmas eve run. the rest of the year dasher, dancer, prancer, and the rest are usually in a humanoid form and work with Santa as his close friends and assistants.
This was kinda rambling but i feel like i got the point across.
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primeministerofantarctica · 1 month ago
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I love it when media tries to apply logistics to the santa claus mythos, even (especially) when said "logistics" end up being silly and nonsensical. yes santa's sleigh is a giant airship. yes santa is extremely jacked and trains with the rock. yes becoming santa claus is a hereditary curse that befalls you when you accidentally kill the last santa.
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engbergsinfinland · 20 days ago
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Christmas Eve, Eve, Day 🎄
Greetings from Finland on Monday the 23rd! I think we're just about already for Christmas here. Obviously, it's been a hectic week this last week, which is why 6 days have gone by and I haven't posted! Right now, the kids are about to do an hour at the climbing facility in Tullintori, which has all kinds of interesting structures for them to climb on, harnessed. But, the big headline is that I have all the Christmas presents bought. High five!
Here, Christmas Eve is the big family affair, and the big meal happens on Christmas Eve, and Santa comes to visit on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day is another family day. And then boxing Day, the day after Christmas, is another family and friends "visiting day."
We will have our traditional posole on Christmas Eve, and perhaps Santa (joulupukki) will come visit the kids ;) We will definitely miss the smell of piñon in the air, the cold clear (usually) night, the walk around Tanoan with my parents seeing the Christmas lights, and all of the luminarias in New Mexico.
But we're going to try to really soak up the Christmas Eve experience here in Finland. People do go as families to the cemeteries, which are full of candles. Apparently it is very beautiful, and we're going to find out tomorrow at about 3:00 when the sun is setting.
I did want to mention that I have been in communication with Santa about this: while he may visit with the kids on Christmas Eve, he will also drop some presents off as he flies over Finland to deliver presents through chimneys in the night time, which is what my kids are used to. The kids are also hip to the possibility that Santa's colossal operation may indeed be difficult for one old elf to handle so he does have an army of designees or delegates who represent him throughout the world and have endured rigorous training and are themselves elves who represent his spirit and mission, visiting kids in the Christmas season. If a "Santa" comes to visit them at home on Christmas Eve, it may in fact be a designee visitor, but they are to treat him with the utmost respect because he is part of Santa's retinue of global ambassadors and communicates with the boss in real time. The kids did meet Santa at his visiting college cottage outside of Ruka, so they know from the source that he is very busy on Christmas and they do in fact know what he really looks like. Like their mom, our kids really love the idea, the love conveyed by, and the mytho-reality of Santa Claus.
So, I don't have much work-related news to share from the last week. Though, I do actually have one meeting today, with a new admit to our graduate program in the US. I also did some research on an article I have been tryng for a while to finish, but I am at a bit of an impasse because I can't get the hard copies of the books that I need until I get back to the US and I can't find the content online that I need from those books.
Today, before we came climbing, we went to the building where I am teaching starting in January and now I know where my classroom is. So I feel basically ready to go, though I still have to polish up my syllabus. It is a class I've taught many times before, but I will make some changes. Good thing I'll have tons of time on the plane 😆
This last week the kids had various celebratory days at school, which was very nice. Rowan got his report card, though Cece does not get one until the end of the year. Rowan's report card was absolutely exceptional and we're so proud of him. He does love school here so much and he says he wishes he could stay here at FISTA rather than going to any of the middle schools he has to choose from in Albuquerque. It makes me sad that this won't be a possibility for him. I hope he has a great experience back home in 7th grade, and that his experience here makes him even more confident and full of interesting wisdom to share with his grade mates, although I'm not sure 13-year-olds are very receptive to wisdom imparted by their peers 😆 I hope he is also receptive to the knowledge, fun, and energy abounding in 7th-grade humans back home ❤️
On Saturday, the kids and I took the train to Helsinki to see "A Christmas Carol," the ballet version, by The Finnish National Ballet, at the opera house, and we were joined by Laura, the wife of another Fulbrighter and former dancer, and her 3-year-old daughter Annika. We had such a wonderful time. Though, Cece was very scared by the revealing of Scrooge in his casket by the Ghost of Christmas Future. She actually came to sit with me in the theater and said it was the scariest thing she'd ever seen. But she did seem to bounce back with the more festive scenes that played out over the rest of the ballet.
Otherwise, we started watching a Christmas movie last night as a family. I've made some more cookies and I have made beautiful new Christmas stockings for us to use here.
I have thought a lot about our packing for our trip but I have yet to execute ;) A big part of what we're packing are all of the boxes of kakkutukku, cookies and candies that Rowan sold to people back in Albuquerque as part of his 6th grade fundraising. I'm sure I wrote about this in a previous post months ago. Otherwise, we're not taking a whole lot, because we have clothes in Albuquerque, but we will be taking gifts for family and friends at home, especially my friends who have helped me with all of my Albuquerque house related things. And in Albuquerque, there's so much we are looking forward to, and one of those things is having a bridal shower for the kids' dear babysitter, McKenzie. And they will get to skate on a number of occasions with their beloved Coach Barb.
Anyway, Merry Christmas Eve Eve to all of you. I will write more soon, potentially from Paris when we are there for 2 nights and one day, starting on Christmas Day night.
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shdwtouch · 25 days ago
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just popping in to say Klaus is one of my favorite Christmas movies with probably my favorite interpretation of the Santa Claus mythos. like, don't get me wrong, I enjoy other versions of the mythology and other movies that explore his & the origins of Christmas, but Klaus will always hold a special place in my heart.
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poemshubs · 26 days ago
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19th Century American Poet: Clement Clarke Moore
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Clement Clarke Moore (1779–1863) stands as one of the most influential figures in 19th-century American poetry, renowned for his contribution to both the holiday tradition and American verse. Moore’s legacy primarily rests upon the iconic poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, better known as The Night Before Christmas, a work that has become an essential part of American holiday culture. While Moore is often remembered for this one piece, his life and contributions to American poetry, as well as his influence on the literary landscape of his time, reflect a far more complex and diverse legacy.
In this article, we will delve into the life, works, and lasting impact of Clement Clarke Moore as a 19th-century American poet. Through his poetry, Moore helped shape the way Americans viewed their holidays and contributed to the development of a uniquely American poetic voice. His work not only defines a significant portion of 19th-century American poetry but also illustrates the interplay between literature, culture, and national identity in post-Revolutionary America.
Early Life and Education
Clement Clarke Moore was born on July 15, 1779, in New York City, during a time of profound political and social change. The American Revolution was a defining event in the history of the United States, and Moore’s early years were shaped by the growing sense of American nationalism and the push for cultural independence. Moore’s father, Benjamin Moore, was an influential Episcopal bishop, and his mother, a member of a prominent New York family, ensured that he received a solid education. As a child, Moore was exposed to both the classical traditions of European literature and the emerging American literary scene, which would later inform his own poetic style.
Moore attended Columbia College (now Columbia University), where he earned his degree in 1798. He was well-versed in the classics, and his academic career foreshadowed his later foray into the literary world. Upon completing his education, Moore took on a variety of professional roles, including serving as a professor of literature and Oriental studies at Columbia, where he spent a significant portion of his career. He was known for his scholarship on Hebrew literature and biblical languages, which provided him with a deep understanding of both Eastern and Western traditions. This combination of academic rigor and literary exploration influenced his poetic work, although it would be his later ventures into lighter, more imaginative verse that brought him lasting fame.
A Visit from St. Nicholas and Its Cultural Impact
While Moore’s early education and scholarly contributions are notable, it is his poem A Visit from St. Nicholas that has become his defining legacy in American poetry. Written in 1822 for his children, the poem was first published anonymously in the Troy Sentinel in 1823. The poem, which later became widely known as The Night Before Christmas, is often considered one of the most significant works of holiday literature in American history.
The Birth of a Holiday Classic
The poem’s enduring popularity is largely due to its whimsical portrayal of Santa Claus and its vivid descriptions of the Christmas Eve scene. Through Moore’s lyrical language and rhythmic verse, he created a lasting image of the holiday season that continues to shape modern American Christmas traditions. In A Visit from St. Nicholas, Moore introduced readers to a jolly, bearded, rotund Santa Claus who travels in a sleigh drawn by eight reindeer. His poem established much of the Santa mythos that Americans recognize today, including Santa’s entrance through the chimney and his habit of checking his list to determine whether children have been naughty or nice.
The poem’s appeal lies not only in its memorable imagery but also in the way it captures the magic and wonder of childhood. The lines “Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! / On Comet! On Cupid! On Donder and Blitzen!” evoke a sense of excitement and joy that resonates with generations of readers. The rhyme and rhythm give the poem a sense of playfulness, while the details create a cozy, magical atmosphere that has come to define American Christmas celebrations.
The success of A Visit from St. Nicholas led to its reprinting in many newspapers, and it quickly became a staple of holiday literature. It was one of the first poems to introduce the modern American version of Santa Claus, moving away from the more somber, saintly figure seen in earlier European traditions. Through this simple yet profound poem, Moore helped shape the holiday spirit and gave voice to the joyful, celebratory nature of American Christmas culture.
Lasting Influence on American Poetry and Holiday Culture
The cultural impact of A Visit from St. Nicholas cannot be overstated. Its portrayal of Santa Claus, with his sleigh and reindeer, became the standard image of the jolly man in red. Moore’s work helped solidify the commercial and symbolic significance of Santa Claus in American culture, influencing not just holiday traditions but also advertising, films, and countless retellings of the Christmas story. It is safe to say that no other single poem has had as much influence on the American celebration of Christmas as Moore’s The Night Before Christmas.
Moreover, the poem’s use of rhyme, meter, and playful language made it an excellent example of how American poetry could appeal to the masses while maintaining a high level of artistic craft. Moore’s mastery of rhyme and rhythm helped to cement the idea that American poetry could be both accessible and refined. While much of American poetry at the time was serious, philosophical, or political, Moore’s playful, joyful verse represented a new direction—one in which poetry could be a source of entertainment and lighthearted celebration.
In addition to its influence on holiday traditions, A Visit from St. Nicholas also exemplifies the way Moore contributed to the development of American poetry. By capturing the unique qualities of American culture, Moore’s poem serves as a bridge between European literary traditions and the emerging American literary identity. It helped define the role of poetry in American life, showing that poetry could be used to communicate ideas and values relevant to the everyday experiences of ordinary Americans.
Other Works and Themes
While A Visit from St. Nicholas is Moore’s best-known work, his contributions to American poetry extend beyond this single poem. His poetic output includes several works of religious, philosophical, and pastoral poetry, many of which demonstrate his versatility as a poet. As a scholar of Hebrew and Oriental languages, Moore brought a sense of intellectual depth to his work, particularly in his poems dealing with religious themes.
Moore’s poem The American Flag (1835), for example, is a patriotic work that emphasizes the symbolism of the flag as a representation of American values and identity. The poem contrasts the enduring strength and significance of the flag with the transient nature of human life, invoking a sense of national pride and unity. Like other 19th-century American poets, Moore often drew on themes of patriotism and national identity, reflecting the burgeoning sense of American exceptionalism in the post-Revolutionary era.
Moore also explored philosophical and existential themes in his poetry, often contemplating the nature of life, death, and the human condition. His work in this area, while less widely read today, reflects the intellectual currents of the time, influenced by both European Romanticism and the emerging American transcendentalist movement. Moore’s contemplative verse, while more somber than his festive works, reveals his ability to engage with profound, universal themes.
Moore’s Role in 19th-Century American Poetry
As a 19th-century American poet, Clement Clarke Moore occupies a unique position in the history of American letters. While his contributions to American poetry were not as wide-ranging or politically engaged as those of some of his contemporaries, such as Walt Whitman or Emily Dickinson, Moore’s work was significant in shaping the cultural landscape of his time. His poetry offered an accessible, enjoyable alternative to the often complex and abstract themes of other American poets. By capturing the spirit of American life—whether through the joyful celebration of Christmas or the patriotic fervor of The American Flag—Moore’s work helped to create a poetic voice that resonated with a broad audience.
Moore was also a key figure in the development of American literary tradition, helping to bridge the gap between the European poetic models and the emerging distinctly American voice. His work drew upon European literary traditions but adapted them to suit the unique cultural and social realities of early 19th-century America. Through his poems, Moore contributed to the creation of an American poetic identity, one that valued simplicity, accessibility, and emotional resonance.
Moore’s Legacy
Today, Clement Clarke Moore is remembered primarily for A Visit from St. Nicholas, but his broader contributions to American poetry and culture are just as important. His poem continues to be recited every holiday season, and his vision of Santa Claus remains a central part of the American holiday tradition. Yet Moore’s legacy also extends to his exploration of themes such as patriotism, religious faith, and the human condition.
As a 19th-century American poet, Moore helped to shape American poetry’s early landscape, contributing to the development of a uniquely American voice in the literary world. His works continue to resonate with readers, not only because of their whimsical nature but because of the way they capture the hopes, values, and aspirations of a young nation coming into its own. Through his poems, Moore demonstrated that poetry could be both intellectually rich and emotionally accessible, combining deep thought with a light-hearted celebration of life.
Conclusion
Clement Clarke Moore’s legacy as a 19th-century American poet is a testament to the power of poetry to shape culture, tradition, and national identity. Through his celebrated work A Visit from St. Nicholas, Moore contributed to the formation of American Christmas traditions that continue to influence the way the holiday is celebrated today. His poetry also explored a wide range of themes, including patriotism, religion, and the human experience, providing a broad and diverse contribution to American poetry. As one of the most influential poets of his time, Moore helped to define what it meant to be an American poet, creating works that continue to echo through the cultural and literary fabric of the United States.
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misdemeanors-are-stolen · 7 months ago
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all excellent points <3
i want to also shoutout the OS theme song because it is so so sick, as a song with such a unique and recognizable sound to it that just sticks in ur brain but ur not mad about it cause it's GOOD
and then all the things they came up with to toss in to the mythos? they didn't just throw spaghetti at the wall, they made a business out of painting walls with spaghetti
not just aliens but magic is real, and ben's cousin can do it if she studies enough. however, werewolves are fake and actually aliens the whole time. crocodile mutants on earth exist and get to enter local wrestling tournaments; ben went in as four arms and nobody questioned him they just let him participate. (cont.)
the fountain of youth is real and this one guy's been living off it to keep it secret for years except he also uses it as a dunk tank. mount rushmore is actually a secret base for the branch of the government that knows about aliens. there is a substance in some galaxy that, when exposed to earth creatures, turns them into horrible monsters that lack all sense of self (this part scared me so bad as a kid i never watched through it all so i have no clue what happened to fix it). the government alien branch is named the 'plumbers' and they flush prisoners and bad aliens into an alternate dimension where everything is red, the entire space is breathable, and feral versions of one of the aliens ben can become lives there. there is also an independent organization against aliens and they all dress as knights and have knight-themed gear and do dealings with minor conspiracy theorists who report they have a frog alien in a jar in their house. some guy has a giant thumbnail growing out of his skull, he is friends with a woman whose hair is prehensile and a guy who can breathe acid that melts cars, and they make their living off circus shows with a guy who can drain people's good spirits; none of these people are directly implied to be aliens or anything, they're just like that. you see a future where slacker-off goofball ben becomes a high-strung world superhero akin to superman who gives himself no time to take breaks or relax or see his family. santa claus is real, as are his elves, and they live in a random magical christmas village in the middle of the desert until ben turns all the elves back into people and three of them are konohamaru and his friends from naruto. part of ben's family tree is an entirely different type of alien than his grandfather got it on with, and they are made of living mud. one of ben's aliens is somehow capable of transforming an entire living human into computer code inside of a video game, inside which all the characters are alive and have their own thoughts and insights, and inside which ben and gwen have sick new designs. every time ben transforms he goes through some sort of body horror within the span of half a second or less that nobody except the viewer ever sees, except that one time he thought he was turning into a werewolf. some random little league baseball manager out there made a whole team of realistic androids to play against real kids, and they have the arm strength to throw baseballs that can go through steel, and nobody bats an eye at this, nor does this advanced technology show up in day-to-day life. ben goes on a road trip across america in the weirdest zigzaggy order ever and somehow manages to encounter multiple of his villains cast multiple times, without either of them really trying to catch up to the other. by the way the omnitrix can accidentally explode the whole entire universe if it stays in self-destruct mode long enough, and easily the whole galaxy or mere planet earth, and ben accidentally turned it on at 10 years old and thought his cousin died to plant aliens. his great-aunt's retirement complex got slowly picked off and replaced with shapeshifting aliens who hiss and recoil from water in 100º+ weather and nobody caught it until ben got there. ben still daydreams about being a superhero called 'ultra ben' that is his own self with a visor and supersuit, after finding the omnitrix and getting to be a real superhero. in one episode cthulhu darth vader (vilgax) contacts ben in a dream, and we have no clue how or why this happened. some random weatherman invented an AI robot to predict the weather that became capable of mutating and gaining powers to control water and weather. the very last episode in the series proper is a what-if that doesn't really happen by the end of the episode.
The wildest thing about Ben 10 is that it took until 2005 for someone to have the idea "what if a kid could turn into a bunch of aliens" like this isn't obviously the coolest and most marketable premise for anything ever. Each design is a new toy. A new powerset. Come on.
But to prove that it wasn't a fluke, they continued to have the best ideas for every aspect of it. How does he transform? A cool watch you can also sell as a toy. That watch's name? Omnitrix. Say it. It's so satisfying. How many aliens? Ten. Nice round number. The kid's name? Ben. The show's name? Ben Ten. His full name is Benjamin Tennyson, a normal, plausible name, but he also turns into 10 aliens.
Bigger brands dream about this synergy. Better writers would kill for this coherence. So holistic. So intuitive. The identity alone!!! The retro alien sound motif? Chilling. The green? Any other color would be wrong. The kirby krackle pattern? It seems so obvious in retrospect. The roadtrip format? Genius. Lesser writers would've done the spider-man high school thing. His arch nemesis being Cthulhu darth vader? Inspired, iconic, intimidating!
The execution has its highs and lows, but the idea??? Game changing. So self-evident that it seems inevitable. If Ben 10 didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
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mangled-by-disuse · 1 month ago
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i just have to rant about the elf on a shelf for a sec
(why? i've never had one, i don't have kids and if i did that wee smug snitching fucker would still not feature in my life. AND YET so many of my parent friends are stressed out of their minds over the damn thing)
but like. I know the obvious (and correct) take is that the elf on the shelf is horrifying because it primes small children to accept constant surveillance as not only normal but positively benign, and the elf on the shelf is a fucking grass.
but I think there are more practical, sometimes more pernicious ways that it affects all aspects of the Christmas season, to whit:
Adding stress. like for fucking real do parents of small children not have enough to do in december must we also make it a social norm to move a doll into interesting places and keep it out of reach of pets and whatever the fuck else.
Making Santa less magical. like ok back in my day Santa did not need to send spies. Santa just knows shit. Santa does not require practical explanations. Santa is a jolly old elf who is slightly less omniscient than Jesus but only because he's seasonal. How does Santa know if you've been naughty or nice if the elves don't tell him? because he's fucking SANTA CLAUS that's it that's the whole reason. stop bringing your empiricism and logic into my childhood whimsy. Also, relatedly:
Giving children a loophole. The elf on a shelf is how Santa knows whether to bring you presents, yes? the elf on a shelf spies on children to feed back to Santa on whether they have been naughty or nice? Q.E.D. if I am sure that the elf is NOT in eyeline, I can be as naughty as I want and Santa will never know. is what I would absolutely have concluded as a child, thereby spoiling any positive behavioural effects of Santa mythos. or i would have attempted to bribe the elf. or... make him go away.
Preparing children for a lifetime of performance evaluations (derogatory). because I want to be clear that I do in fact have a problem with the underlying concept of "he knows if you've been bad or good" in the first place. shut up. another way in which santa is like jesus is that he doesn't actually need to care if you were Good. in my humble opinion Santa Claus doesn't give a fuck about your behaviour he just likes to give presents to children as many lonely old people do. (also binaries of good and bad are pretty harmful actually imo, where is the boundary for "naughty" and does it perhaps undermine the behavioural guidance if you are consistently told that Santa's love is conditional BUT that you have never once failed to pass the conditions? anyway we're getting off the topic at hand.)
Adding yet more plastic tat to the "necessary Christmas traditions" box. yes yes i am decades behind the times in complaining about the commercialisation of christmas. but i am also passionately frustrated by it. ooh we must have chocolate advent calendars (plastic trays)! we must have an elf on the shelf! we must go to a christmas market and buy more tat! let's have a christmas eve box and a (plastic) ugly christmas jumper and fucking. christmas earrings we'll wear one day a year and then lose. more! more christmas tat!!! MORE, I SAY!!!
Why he look like that?
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it's such a punchable face. and yet, too small to punch. i see your unseemly enjoyment of your espionage, you perverted wee fucker. you delight in the suffering of overworked parents and overseen children alike. you disgust me.
anyway fuck elf on a shelf end broadcast
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