#sanford arms

[oldshowbiz]

[mersei47]

another sak yant but with sanford

[b1babuba]

epic standing

[oh-mother-fucket]

deimos voice hm i wonder how i would taste

sanford voice ah. well. heh. you see. deimos. i can help you with that.

[gravedigest]

[chainsawworld]

Thinking about. Madcom:]

[omimedtech]

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[neil-gaiman]

I don't think you should get to go on here and post about how the evil Chinese government influenced book award nominations for ideological reasons and then later reblog something that reveals that this was all a distraction to keep all the Chinese language ballots that got thrown out for racism reasons a secret and everyone is just supposed to give you a pass?

That's nice.

As one of the people directly affected (episode 6 of my show Sandman would have got enough votes to be on the Hugo ballot, but was mysteriously removed as "ineligible"), I've been posting and reblogging the information that we've had as we've been getting it.

One of the best things about getting to blog in real time is that as more information comes in you get to reblog that.

Originally, what we knew from what people were saying or implying was that there was censorship going on.

We knew that a book, two people and a TV show had been removed from the nominee list before the final ballot. But nobody was talking on the record.

Then one of the Hugo Committee broke ranks, leaked emails and spoke to Jason Sanford and Chris M. Barkley, who released this report:

The most shocking part of the story, from the leaks, is that Dave McCarty, the adminstrator, appears to have thrown out hundreds, perhaps thousands of Chinese votes, claiming that they were a "slate". (Something that he doesn't have the authority to do, any more than he had the authority to mark things inexplicably ineligible.)

I hope this helps.

[idyat]

Hi hello 👋👋

Can you write some hcs for the main 4 +Jebus with a reader that flinches?

(If that's too much then just Hank is fine :3 )

Love your writing too! It is very pleasant to read :D

Soooo sorry for how long this took. And thank you so much!

Main 4 + Jebus x Flinchy reader headcanons

---------------------------

Hank:

-Nobody would be surprised by the fact that Hank can be very brash, and that therefore he makes people flinch a lot. It actually took them a bit of time to realize how often you do it because of this, and because they don't pay much attention to people until it's for a fight or he starts caring about them.

-If you start staring at eachother, expect them to suddenly brings their head forward just to get a laugh out of your flinching. Unless you don't like it. Then he'll stop immediately.

-They can be surprisingly gentle with you afterwards. The best murderer of Nevada should know how to handle as many situations as possibly after all.

-Believe it or not, he flinches a lot too! This is both because he has to be on constant alert and because his torn and battered body often just fails him. It's a little annoying when he's in the middle of a fight and his legs forget how to walk and he gets pummeled with bullets, but we digress.

-If it can be done, they'll try to help you control your flinching a little better. Especially if it happens during dangerous situations or combat, as that is his area of expertise. Maybe you could return the favour! Especially if you've dealt with this longer than he has.

-If the situation could suggest it, he checks for any potential hostile everytime you flinch. Or, they check if you are okay. A little hyperbolic? Maybe, but he takes every little thing about you seriously, including your flinching.

-He'll probably sneak up on you by accident a few times after rewiring his brain to be on ninja mode all the time.

SANFORD:

-Hopefully you're not too flinchy at loud noises, because Sanford has a few volume control issues with his voice. (If you don't get what I mean, listen to his Madness: Project Nexus voice lines.)

-And with the bombs and rapidly flying hook... Yeah, the poor guy is trying his damndest to be gentle, and he is failing.

-He's a bit of a worrywart when it comes to you, so expect a lot of apologies whenever he swings his arm a little too quick and fast or starts yelling suddenly.

-You'll probably have to reassure him if it isn't that big of a deal. Being himself is nothing to apologize about!

-He's also a bit concerned if this can happen when you're fighting or running away from something. He knows from experience that the slightest movement can mean life, death or severe injury in some situations. At least he's usually not far behind to take the hits or kill the threat.

-Sometimes he mildly startles you and chuckles. He likes the face you make when he does that.

DEIMOS:

-Another one who loooves to startle you just for the fun of it. And another one who'll stop if you ask him to. But if you're okay with it, expect him to hug you from behind with a "BOO!" and a giggle. (Then again, he'd do this whether or not you flinch at it.)

-He both likes to be annoying and is a little dumb. He'd ask you shit like "so do you flinch EXTRA when you pull back the measuring tape?" unironically and think he's hot shit who's sooo good at teasing you.

-"Does it work like a radar or something?"

"A what?"

"Like, do you flinch without knowing and that tells you if there's something nearby?"

"...Sometimes I flinch without realizing it."

"Yeah, now that I think about it... was a pretty stupid question."

"Didn't think before asking, hm?"

"I don't think a lot."

-Outside of his teasing, he's not likely to make any sudden movements or sounds, and will apologize if he accidentally startles you.

-He's very gentle when that happens. His voice is soft and raspy and his arms wrap so carefully around you. He doesn't actually take it that seriously if he can see you're fine, but he adores when he can be cute and romantic with you. And you probably like it too.

2BDAMNED:

-Doc noticed your common flinching whilst analizing you for whatever it is you do. Peaked his curiosity a little.

-He's one of the only two who actually thinks about asking if you have any idea why it happens, common flinch triggers, if there is a reason did it come with anything else he can help with, etc. He's very meticulous when he asks you.

-If your occupations aren't that dangerous, then he won't mind it; however if you often find yourself in danger, then he will eventually express a bit of concern, especially if you've had problems with it before. While he doesn't fight much himself, he may butt in a little, which could make for some bonding time.

-2B is very slow, so you won't find yourself flinching because of him... Unless you accompany him in operating his strange machinery. Only he truly understands those things.

-He'll often ask you if you're okay after he sees you get startled, and you may notice how closely he looks at or even how precisely he rubs the part of you he saw drop. While it may not be obvious at first, he cares about you so much and loves to observe every little detail about you

JEBUS:

-He will also ask if you know where it comes from. However he won't really try to suggest reducing the flinching, as he thinks you do well enough on your own.

-What he will do however, is gifting you a whole lot of armour and weapons "just in case". (He is indeed worried, but has a hard time expressing it.)

-Although he doesn't really make any brash noises or moves himself, trust that anytime he catches somebody making you flinch, he WILL get grumpy and protective. Even if you assure him it's no problem yourself, he'll be glaring daggers at them until they're out of the room.

-If there ever in an incident where he startles you, it probably would be while he's having a burst of anger. It would take a moment for him to realize and calm down.

-Once he does, you'll see him try to express his guilt and affection the best he can. There are not a lot of people he's genuinely cared about besides you, he doesn't want to snap and burden somebody else with himself.

-Bodyguard! As said earlier, if he was protective of you before, he is VERY protective now.

---------------------------

Sorry that 2B and Jebus' sections are a little shorter. At least Hank got a bonus 7th line.

[postnuclearophelia]

“Sometimes during the night I'd look at my poor sleeping mother cruelly crucified there in the American night because of no-money, no-hope-of-money, no family, no nothing, just myself the stupid son of plans all of them compacted of eventual darkness. God how right Hemingway was when he said there was no remedy for life - and to think that negative little paper-shuffling prissies should write condescending obituaries about a man who told the truth, nay who drew breath in pain to tell a tale like that! ... No remedy but in my mind I raise a fist to High Heaven promising that I shall bull whip the first bastard who makes fun of human hopelessness anyway - I know it's ridiculous to pray to my father that hunk of dung in a grave yet I pray to him anyway, what else shall I do? sneer? shuffle paper on a desk and burp rationality? Ah thank God for all the Rationalists the worms and vermin got. Thank God for all the hate mongering political pamphleteers with no left or right to yell about in the Grave of Space. I say that we shall all be reborn with the Only One, and that's what makes me go on, and my mother too. She has her rosary in the bus, don't deny her that, that's her way of stating the fact. If there can't be love among men let there be love at least between men and God. Human courage is an opiate but opiates are human too. If God is an opiate so am I. Thefore eat me. Eat the night, the long desolate American between Sanford and Shlamford and Blamford and Crapford, eat the hematodes that hang parasitically from dreary southern trees, eat the blood in the ground, the dead Indians, the dead pioneers, the dead Fords and Pontiacs, the dead Mississippis, the dead arms of forlorn hopelessness washing underneath - Who are men, that they can insult men? Who are these people who wear pants and dresses and sneer? What am I talking about? I'm talking about human helplessness and unbelievable loneliness in the darkness of birth and death and asking 'What is there to laugh about in that?' 'How can you be clever in a meatgrinder?' 'Who makes fun of misery?' There's my mother a hunk of flesh that didn't ask to be born, sleeping restlessly, dreaming hopefully, beside her son who also didn't ask to be born, thinking desperately, praying hopelessly, in a bouncing earthly vehicle going from nowhere to nowhere, all in the night, worst of all for that matter all in noonday glare of bestial Gulf Coast roads - Where is the rock that will sustain us? Why are we here? What kind of crazy college would feature a seminar where people talk about hopelessness, forever?” ― Jack Kerouac, Desolation Angels

[crow-of-ohio]

2bdamned is a trans woman that's been carefully denying herself her own happiness for decades because she believes she can't afford to lose what bit of "privilege" "being a man" gives her but it's slowly but surely crushing her to not tell anyone, even the people she cares about most, about her innermost secret and desire because she's afraid that if she does the team will stop respecting her as a person even though Hank, Sanford and Deimos have never made any indication that they don't respect trans women and are all queer themselves. And the fear and the rot keeps her at arms length from the others and keeps her carefully dissociated from anything that would cause too much cognitive distortion so one breakdown doesn't lead to a cascade that makes her entire identity that she's built come crashing down. She puts her womanhood and the true atrocity of the actions she commits in the same bottle to never see the light of day because of how shameful she finds them both, meaning she never stops to fully conceptualize herself as a person beyond the supporting man-in-the-chair for Hank, Sanford, and Deimos. But I don't know if y'all are ready for that

[cellythefloshie]

;; Daddy Dunn

Summary: You, Dunn's fiance, travel with Vince to Lindsay, Ontario to celebrate the St Louis' 2019 Stanley Cup victory. It is in his hometown, after seeing Dunn's sweet interaction with children that - after years of thinking you would never have kids - you decide you want to have a baby. After telling Dunn, he assures that the two of you take a night to sleep on it, but not without a little practice.

Set in the summer of 2019.

Kinks & TW: Breeding/Desire to Become Pregnant, Oral Contraceptives, Unprotected Sex, Vince likes to Moan, Have to Stay Quiet, Hand Around Throat - Not Quite Choking, Hand Over Mouth, Woman on Top, Sundress Sex.

Notes: Apparently Vince had 4-5 surgeries during this off-season after sustaining a broken jaw in the series against SJS. This is touched on very briefly but nothing in detail.

Inspired By: This video and this anon.

Word Count: 2448

Taglist: @mp0625 @starshine-hockey-girl

For as long as you could remember you hadn’t wanted kids. Whether it be the responsibility that came with having a child or the pregnancy itself that scared you away from the idea of being a mother, it was something you have been comfortable with accepting. You would be the cool, wealthy, aunt that spoiled your nieces and nephews but that all changed in a single moment and it was all thanks to Vince. 

It was summertime, which often meant a relaxing postseason, but this off-season was different since St Louis had won the cup. Since Sanford scored the 4th goal in game seven, your life had been a whirlwind of festivities but it was all meant to wind down after Vince’s day with the cup. You had travelled with him all the way to Lindsay, Ontario, his hometown, and quickly faded into the background of the festivities. You followed him in his parade in the quaint community. 

With the population less than a tenth of St Louis, it almost left you feeling lost, but the crowds that flocked to Lindsay were far from underwhelming. Blues fans travelled from all across the Province - and even the country - for their opportunity to see Vince and Cup. You watched them all, the young and the old flock to him. Their hockey hero, the pride and joy of an entire community, had brought Lord Stanley home to them. 

He was met with smiles, with fondness, and some were even brought to tears. They had known him since he was a boy, and now he was a man. A humble man who had not forgotten his roots, and who spent his time with every single one of them who had come to celebrate his success with him. 

While it all had warmed your heart, there was one moment that left your heart fluttering and seemed to alter your brain chemistry in all of a single second. A woman that you hadn’t had the opportunity to meet yourself since you were watching the day unfold from the sidelines had brought her 8-month-old to meet with Vince and the cup. And while you would have admitted that the baby was cute, you didn’t fully appreciate the sight in front of you until Vince had taken the baby in his arms. He was kind, and sweet with zero hesitation or fear when it came to cradling such a young, sweet child. It was that moment that changed it all. 

Seeing him with the child in his arms. Hearing the soft voice he used and the ease at which he handled the child as they grew finicky as they sat in the Stanley Cup had ignited something deep inside you. You wanted a baby. 

It was something that weighed heavily over you the rest of the day. It left you fidgeting at the dinner table, your fingers twisting the delicate engagement ring on your finger. Vince had only proposed over the holiday season and you weren’t set to wed until the next summer, which should have been enough to have you biting your tongue - but the moment you had him alone in his childhood bedroom that had been given a bit of a facelift to be more suited for guests, you couldn’t hold yourself back from him. 

The moment the bedroom door had been shut behind you, your hands had found Vince’s chest. He was still wearing the same polo shirt, black with a thin white detail along his collar and sleeves, and you wanted it off of him. Fingers dragged down the buttons of his polo drawing his gaze down, and soon you were subject to a slack-jawed breath and his bedroom eyes. Your name left his lips in a slow hum. A hum that was laced with the little restraint he could muster. Before your trip, the two of you had agreed to not have sex if there was a chance his parents could overhear. Yet, you were undressing him with the very risk of his parents hearing everything from the next room. 

“I’ll be quiet, promise,” you whispered up at him, your lips curling into a faint smile that coaxed one up onto his own lips. 

“But I don’t have anything-”

You almost laughed as you pulled his shirt up and over his head and tossed it aside. You watched as your gleeful expression perplexed him. You had always insisted on using a condom, until now. “I don’t want to use one,” you told him in a soft whisper, your hands finding your bare chest to push him back towards the bed. 

Once you had him seated, the skirts of your sundress pulled up just enough for you to straddle his lap, you spoke again, “and, with your permission, I want to stop taking the pill.”

His face softened at your words, his full lips parting with a heavy breath. His hands quickly settled on your hips, caressing over your soft silhouette slowly as he spoke your name, “Are you sure? I mean, I’m not saying no - I just - you’ve - this is a big surprise.”

“I know, I know,” you sighed, your hands coming to rest on the strength of his shoulders, “but seeing you with all the kids today,” you looked away as you felt your heart begin to race in your chest, “and seeing how you were with the baby…”

Vince wore a cocky smile as he lay back against the bed, his arms reaching up to stretch out and flex the toned muscles of his body before they came to rest behind his head. “Oh, you liked that, huh?” he raised a brow, his words coy before he let his tongue run over his bottom lip slowly, “Daddy Dunn,” he said the words as if to taste how they would feel in his mouth, and they left him grinning ever wider when he saw the reaction it got out of you. 

Your skin had flushed with color, your jaw slacking for a moment before you found your composure and gave him a playful shove. “Stunner, don’t,” You had tried to be firm, but your words were laced with a nervous laugh, “don’t tease me like that and make me regret telling you.”

“Hey, hey,” Vince hummed and reached out a single hand to stroke over your cheek slowly. He used the touch to draw you in. He greeted your lips with a soft and gentle kiss before he eased back just enough to mutter out to you; “no teasing,” his hand reached up to brush your hair back gently, “but I do want you to sleep on it. You took your pill this morning, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathed out gently before biting down on your lower lip. 

“Good girl,” he hummed, his head shaking slightly as his thumb dragged down over your jaw to coax your lip from the bite of your teeth. He stroked it carefully with the pad of his thumb when he spoke again, “In the morning, if you feel the same way we’ll throw them away, but until then I don’t see there being anything wrong with a little practice.” 

Your head cocked to the side, your lips speaking into the touch of his thumb, “Practice?”

Vince let out a hum of confirmation as he leaned in, cast his thumb aside and placed a lingering kiss against your lips. It was slow and careful, a little cautious even as both were mindful of the tenderness that still lingered after his jaw had been broken during the playoff run. If anything, it forced the two of you to slow things down. Desperate hungry fucks, became tender, deliberate touches - and that didn’t change with the proposition of starting a family. 

His touch was gentle as a single hand brushed down the length of your body. It caressed over every curve as it sought out the bottom hem of your sundress. He pushed up the skirt of your dress slowly, his hand coasting over the flesh of your thigh as he let out a groan, “I’ve been wanting to fuck you in this dress all day.” 

“Oh, have you?” you raised a brow at him, your breath heavy as you pressed back into his touch. 

“All fucking day,” he reiterated with a groan as his hand found the waist of your panties and hooked onto them with a single finger before drawing them down the length of your legs. With every inch it travelled, you could feel your own arousal as it became a cool trail down the inside of your leg. When he pulled the panties from your legs, Vince balled them up in his hand, feeling the arousal that had pooled there, “you thinking about me too, Princess?”

You nodded slowly, your hands dragging down the length of his chest only to come to rest at the waist of his dark denim jeans. Fingers toyed with the thin hair of his treasure trail as you smiled down at Vince, who smiled in return, as he waited for you to indulge him in the fantasies in your mind. 

“Thinking about you,” you spoke slowly, your hands pulling the button free before toying with the zipper of his fly, “your cock…” you trailed off slowly, hesitant on letting the next words fall from your lips, “and your cum.”

His eyes ignited as he lifted his hips for you to rid him of his pants and his boxers with ease before returning to your lace in his lap. “Tell me about it, Princess.”

You spoke slowly as you took his cock in your hand. You stroked him slowly as you spoke, your words soft and just above a whisper, “I was thinking about your cock,” you licked your lips slowly as he twitched his cock in the hold of your hands, “and how it would spread my desperate cunt, and fuck me. You always fuck me so good baby, but to feel you, to really feel you,” you let out an exasperated breath, “and how you would fill me up. Leave me dripping-”

“You want a baby, Princess. All you’ll be feeling inside you until your round with my baby is my cum,” Vince grinned up at you, his cock hard in your hand, “and we can start right now. You nice and wet for me, Princess?”

And you were. You had been all day. 

Lifting up the skirt of your dress, you guided him to your slick core. You dragged the head of his cock along your entrance, your stomach jumping up into your throat as you felt him. You could feel every bit of him. From the head of his cock leading away to the thick vein along the underside of his cock. You quivered at the feeling, and at the realization that you were working him so deep inside you with nothing but the oral contraceptive you had taken that morning to keep him from getting you pregnant. 

You weren’t the only one who relished in it as you began to ride him, the pleasure coaxing a satisfied hum from his lips, “Ah fuck.” 

There was nothing more you liked than Vince getting vocal with you, but with his parents sleeping down the hall, it was the last thing you needed them overhearing. 

“Vinny,” you sighed to him in a low whisper as your cunt flexed around his cock, “you’ve gotta be quiet-” Your cautions were lost on him as his head lulled back into the bed with his lips parted. He was on the verge of ecstasy, and there would be no holding him back from letting the entire household know how good you rode his cock - that was unless you intervened. 

Your hands left the strength of his chest and slid up over his shoulders until one hand settled carefully around his throat. You gasped at it, anchoring yourself to him before your left hand came to rest over his mouth so that he could feel the warmth of your engagement ring against his flesh and every single attempt at a moan would be muffled by your palm. 

It was enough to silence him, but his pleasure wasn’t lost on you. You could feel it in the throbbing of his cock inside your walls, and it could be seen in the emotion in his eyes. They had always betrayed him, even now as they threatened to roll back in ecstasy but instead, he held your gaze as you continued to ride him. With each role of your hips, you took him into your cunt, feeling all of him from the tip of his cock buried deep inside you to his balls as they smacked up against your flesh and you didn’t stop - not until Vince had let his hands slide free from where they rest behind his head to grip at your hips. With his heels pressed down firmly into the mattress and your hand still firm over his mouth Vince plowed into you in a series of forceful thrusts that left your cunt and legs weak. 

Then, on the final thrust, you felt him. All of him. Every inch of his cock, and every drop of his cum as it consumed your core. It heated the blossomed through you, rendering your body still with the very exception of your walls that vice gripped him with your own pleasure. Your hands eased from his mouth and his neck, easing down onto a mattress as your lips parted in a ghost of a moan. 

“You like that, Princess?” Vince whispered against the shell of your ear as your body collapsed down on top of the strength of his body. You could only manage a feeble nod in return, “Good, you’ll be feeling me well into the morning after that one.”

The thought painted a soft smile across your features, one that was met with the exhaustion of the day and the fall of your pleasure. It left your eyes heavy, and your body calm as Vince eased out of you and moved your carefully to rest against the pillows. It was there, still in your sundress and with his cum coating the inside of your thighs, that sleep took you quickly, quicker than it had ever before. 

Come morning you moved straight for your bag and took your pills into your hand. You held them in against your palm for a moment, hearing their soft rattle in the packaging before you gripped them firmly in your hand. Taking a steady, confident breath, you walked across the room and straight to the trash bin. You showed no hesitation as you opened your hand and let them fall. 

[indigovigilance]

Honolulu Roast: the story of a coup

This is a crack meta, but I think I found something. I cite as inspo and incorporate by reference this coffee shop scene breakdown by @snek-eyes and response meta by @embracing-the-ineffable

Preamble: a sign featuring the daily special isn't present, then it is:

image credit: @embracing-the-ineffable

I went searching for any kind of symbolic meaning and this is what I found (below the cut):

Honolulu is a Metaphor for the Bookshop

At first I suspected there was some connection between Freddie Mercury and Honolulu, since an instrumental version of Bohemian Rhapsody plays diegetically in this scene. But that didn't yield any results, so I tried "Honolulu Queen" and I got this.

citation: Smithsonian

Liliʻuokalani, the last monarch of Hawaiʻi, came to power over the tiny independent islands as the result of an untraditional chain of succession. She only held power for two years, until she was ousted by a coup led by American plutocrat Sanford Dole (as in Dole pineapple). Ionlani Palace in Honolulu was the seat of power of the independent monarchy: the coup began with a warship anchoring in Honolulu Harbor (source). Subsequently the islands were annexed by the much larger, much more powerful United States.

In a statement, in exchange for a pardon for her and her supporters, she "yield[ed] to the superior force of the United States of America" under protest, pointing out that John L. Stevens, U.S. Minister to Hawaiʻi, who supported the provisional government, had already "caused United States troops to be landed at Honolulu."

A quote directly from the mouth of queen herself reads:

"Now, to avoid any collision of armed forces and perhaps loss of life, I do, under this protest, and impelled by said forces, yield my authority..."

Following the coup, Sanford Dole set himself up as the ruler of Hawai'i, until ceding authority to the United States.

Aziraphale = Liliʻuokalani

Who else do we know that could be characterized as the ruler of a tiny independent nation...

...that is violently invaded by an overwhelming larger force...

...and then forced to surrender to annexation to protect their loved ones...

...and now their tiny independent nation is being occupied by representatives of the invading force?

I mean. C'mon. It's right there.

Metaphorical Parallelism between Heaven:Hell and Federal:Corporate

But indigo, you say, wasn't it Hell that couped the bookshop and Heaven that annexed it?

Yes. Just like Dole of Dole Pineapple, a private interest, couped Hawai'i, which would later be annexed by the United States.

Public and private interest are, theoretically, at odds, but America in particular has a long and storied history of these forces colluding and working together for common (and often sinister) purpose.

We already know that Heaven and Hell in the universe of GO have significant interests in common, such as wanting to bring about the Apocalypse (even if that common interest is in having a war with each other). The parallelism is there.

Anyways. Yeah.

Honolulu Roast.

If you liked this meta you may like: Baraqiel and Azazel

[nevadas-night-time-novelist]

More 2B x Hank x Reader

I am hungry

Polyamory am i right lol

2B x Reader x Hank

CW: Gore, Hank gets fucked up (when don't they tho), mentions of medical bugs

Doc worried when he needed to send you and Hank out, terrified that the implants in your spine would read [TERMINATED] and he'd have to hurry to anchor your souls and forcefully pull you back to the world of the living.

Hank was a loose canon at the best of times, but adding their much smaller, adorable lover into the fray made them go into reckless overdrive. He would do anything, absolutely anything to shield your body from harm. They were used to it, pain was something they'd come to expect and deal with, but any harm to you would cut deeper than any physical wound would ever.

And that lead to your current situation, you posted up on a chair next to Hank's bed as they deliriously slurred their words, high as a kite on whatever Doc had pumped into his system to quell the pain while he was reattaching a severed arm with small, precise sutures.

You hadn't seen it coming, an attack from behind, yet Hank did. In a split second, he thrust his body in the way, assailant's sword cleaving through his arm instead of your spine. Your back still sustained damage, but nothing nearly as terrible as it could've been.

Hank's giant hand squeezed your tiny one, breaking your reflection on the mission, and despite the delirium, they offered a smile. "Tiny.... Hands."

"Screw the mission!" Sanford barked as he lunged into the driver's seat, you and Deimos helping support Hank's weight as you two climbed into the truck bed. "What little we got will have to do, I ain't riskin' an ass whoopin' from Doc 'cause we let you two get fucked up."

Medical stuff was more of San's field, but so was driving, and a quick get-away was needed right now, with two MAGs thundering out of the base towards the vehicle. Deimos took off one of Hank's many, many decorative belts, and used it as a makeshift tourniquet to try and stop them bleeding out all over the truck because he would have to clean it otherwise.

"I can take them-" Hank tried to sit up and throw his missing arm, but you pushed them back down and chastised them.

"Don't be so stupid Hank, the last thing I need is you getting more hurt." And that settled them down.

Sanford had seen to your back once the four of you arrived home, Doc preoccupied with Hank's more severe injury. "Don't think you'll even need stitches Lucky, just a bloody cut that'll need disinfecting and a bandage."

"Can you move your fingers?" Doc spoke up, and Hank raised their reattached arm, slowly wiggling the digits. "Good, keep it clean or you could get an infection, and I really don't want to have to bring out the medical maggots again."

Doc sighed and rested an arm around your shoulders after taking off his bloodied gloves, mindful of your aching back. "You two will be the death of me, I swear." He took off his mask and sighed again, he looked stressed and tired.

"Sorry sweetheart." You kissed his scarred cheek, and he offered a relaxed smile. "I know it's scary sending us out, but I promise Hank and I will keep each other safe, and be more vigilant."

Doc returned the kiss, taking your chin into his hand and meeting your softer lips with his rougher ones. Hank grunted when your kiss lingered too long. "What about MY kiss?" They grumbled while casting their gaze between you two, now sitting upright.

"Alright Hanky, don't get so butthurt." You giggled, both you and Doc going in to showering him with love too.

[cook1emadness]

YOUR HONOR!

EHEM EHEM *REMOVING THE CAPTIONS*

I've been starving to see more side/background characters in madness combat 😔

Please! Could you do anything for Jorge and church?

Or the Fanatics Or the Bandits?

Anything you're comfortable with!!

Not sure if it should be romantic or platonic though

OK, JORGE AND CHURCH!! MY DUMB BELOVED IDITOTS!!! GET OVER HERE!!!

This one is going to be romantic ;]

Your honor, are you prepared. . .

Jorge And Church, The G03LM Duo!!!!

Romance~:

Oh boy, these guys, were confident as fuck when they confessed to you, because they believe you 100% say yes.... and you did(if you said no, church would be hurt as fuck and in denial)

Anyway, basically, church and jorge are your bodyguards, but chaotic, making you the most sane person in the world... sort of.

Now, I think jorge and church would always show of their skills. Yes, even their muscles. If you compliment them or praise them a little, they're confidence boost up ALOT.

Being in a relationship with them, you gotta be affectionate. These guys not only love the compliments, but they LOVE hugs you give them even if church denies it. Jorge won't. He knows he's deserves it.

Everyone can tell they're in a relationship with you. Why? Because they always keep showing off their lover, aka you.(sanford and deimos were unamused).

For church, his nicknames for you are mostly pip squeak or mouse, sometimes shortie. Meanwhile, for jorge, it's similar but may call you by your nickname that your parents or family member came up( sorry if your nickname is to embarrassing for you).

Despite being stubborn, they would sometimes listen to you, but the moment your not around, CHAOS!! which is why everyone in the MERC always call you. Your basically like an owner.

Forgot to mention that they get jealous, especially if you happen to know sanford or deimos.

You have to reassure them that you love them and no one else. Why? Because Church and Jorge may or may not try to kill that poor grunt.

The dates are mostly the cafeteria, them taking you to fast food places, even if alotvfucked up shit is going on and most importantly playfights, don't worry they go easy on you and maybe bully you a little.

Oh boy, if a random idiot hurts you, they better start running and trying to hide because good lord, they don't let shit slide. I kid you not, if they can track sanford and deimos. They can find that poor fool instant.

Now jorge and church have the same love language. For both physical touch, both would love to feel your arms trying to wrap around them, they find it funny and they like to have you close to them, it makes them feel better than your safe with them.

If they had a second love language, I think it would be quality time, I can imagine them trying to get your attention while you watch to listen to them either rant or show off, maybe even playfights.

Despite being rude and cocky, they both love you even if you are small or big. They love you... plus, they give a shirt that says, "Size matters." :D

I hope you like this one, I might do bandits or fanatics, but I have other requests to finish, so I hope you have a good day and night

[ya-killin-me-smalls]

cuddle pile drabble from an au im working on for larger fic

It's cold. November is rolling in and it's so fucking cold. The icy rain hammering down against the roof mocks him even though he's been inside for a while now, clothes changed but hair still damp.

The commotion from somewhere else in the small house has died down, Hank and Sanford likely done barricading doors and windows.

A shiver wracks his frame and Deimos stares longingly at his soaked jacket that's drying on the back of a chair, then decides it's time to swallow his pride and seek out warmth. He makes his way down the hall and to the living room, already making a list in his head of who's most likely to say yes and coming up with justifications that no one asked for, but stops short when he sees the other four sitting on a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor.

"There he is. Thought you might've gotten lost, bud," Sanford teases.

"Har-dee-har," Deimos responds, trying not to seem too eager when Victor pats the spot next to him. He slots himself in at his friend's side, not protesting when a warm arm wraps over his shoulder and pulls him in closer.

"Jesus, man, you're freezing."

"I ain't that cold." His body betrays him, shoulders shaking and teeth chattering, the sound getting the others' attention.

"Let me see." Doc is already scooting over, grabbing one of Deimos's hands before it's quickly jerked away. A frown tugs at his lips. "Alright, you're in the middle then."

"Yeah, no, I'm good."

"You're shaking."

"Doc, seriously."

"Like a chihuahua."

The comparison gets a snort out of Hank as he takes his spot at the end of the pile, closest to the front door. "Chihuahua."

It's not that he doesn't appreciate the concern, but he was really only mentally prepared to snuggle up to one person tonight and the thought of being surrounded by all four of them has his stomach doing somersaults and his chest feeling fluttery.

Sanford squeezes in between Hank and Deimos, laying down and opening his arms. "C'mon, squirt. Don't need you getting sick."

Fuck.

Just the thought makes him feel like he's going to explode, but if he hesitates then they're going to think there's something wrong with him. What normal person turns down free body heat and being held by Sanford of all people?

...That last part is precisely what's wrong with him.

Deimos makes a show of sighing in irritation, shoulders slumping dramatically before he gives in and lays down. His breath catches in his throat when he gets pulled into Sanford's chest, doubly so when Victor settles in behind him and slings an arm over his chest, effectively sandwiching him between the two men. He'd pitch a fit about personal space if it weren't for how cold it is, the warmth too pleasant despite how hyper-aware he is of every point of contact. A heap of blankets is pulled over them, the constant shiver dying down to only an occasional tremble.

"Better?" Victor asks, tucking his cold nose into the back of Deimos's neck. It's familiar and safe, despite the way his mind races, not unlike the first time him and Victor had woken up tangled in each other's arms over a year ago.

Deimos still grumbles in reply, determined not to act like he's enjoying this at all, but finds that he doesn't mind all that much when a massive hand reaches across Sanford to rest on his waist, or when a smaller one comes from behind and holds his own icy fingertips. He pretends not to notice when Victor hugs him a bit tighter, or how warm his soft breathing is as it ghosts across his skin. It makes his body ache a little less, his eyelids growing heavier as their combined heat chases the chill out of his bones.

Smalls can't think of an effective closing for this snippet so you're getting this instead.