#samejima x shishio

[bitterssweet-ai]

♥

[shoujospice]

[bymee]

😍

[liquorisce]

What Can’t be Saved

What cannot be saved, aka Put a name on it Part 4

Pairing: Shishio x Samejima / shimejima or whatever u wanna Call it

Rating: T - PURE ANGST

A/N: this is a short follow to part 3, idk what came over me, I’d disappeared, but I have to put this up right now instead of analysing the results of my master thesis experiment

It’s been three days since… the “incident”. Shishio didn’t know what else to call it. And if he was perfectly honest with himself, they may have hung out a lot, had that awkward drunk kiss that they swept under the rug, but he’s realized he doesn’t know anything.

She’s been sleeping on his couch, and sleeping a lot, during the day, when he leaves for work, and when he returns at night.

He sees the way her shoulders jolt slightly when he opens the door, the way her lips tremble for the next few moments till she hears him sleep the keys back on to the wooden cabinet in the hall, hears him slip his jacket off and messily kick off his shoes. It’s only then that her breathing returns to normal and she can go back to pretending like she’s asleep.

Shishio doesn’t prod her to be anymore forthcoming, he’s seen her fear, and seen the ghost of trauma overtake her eyes. So he let her take residence in his living room and went to sleep in his bedroom, crushing his eyes shut and trying to ignore the melancholic lullaby of sobs through the thin wall.

But today when he comes back, careful as ever to open the door softly, things feel slightly different and the aroma of spices wafts through the air.

There’s no one on the couch, but a busy figure in his kitchen, barefoot, hair tied into a neat top bun, peering over a pot of hot food.

He clears his throat.

She startles, almost knocking over the stirring spoon. “Hi! I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I, um” - She looks different, looks fresher, like she’s showered, and she’s taken the liberty to go through his closet, having draped herself in an old t-shirt and some sweatpants that look like they’d fall off her waist any damn second. Her eyes are still red-rimmed but she’s forcing a smile, and it’s heartbreaking but beautiful, and he’ll take it. “… what are you doing?”

“I thought I’d make dinner. Its nothing great, I hope you don’t mind but it’s the least I could do…” she trails off, and he doesn’t want to break the silence and acknowledge the elephant in the room either. It’s weird to see her like this, jumpy, nervous, so very different from the girl with the bored defiance and sassy comebacks. He misses their easy cameraderie, the flirtatious look in her eye that’s now replaced with something darker… fear, remorse, shame. He can only guess.

“Well, I’m famished,” he says eyes crinkling in a smile, and he seats himself at the table while she brings the food over.

He tells her it smells great, and he means it, because he isn’t the best cook and when she came near him to serve the ramen on to his plate he could pick up the faint scent of his shower gel mixed with something unique.

He takes it upon himself to engage in meaningless chatter, because he misses her voice. She’s hesitant but she opens up to him, and he’s reminded of that time, of mixed signals and frustration till he tasted the passion on her unseeming lips.

Shishio tries not to dwell on this, and upon being refused the opportunity to do the dishes, he picks up the bottle of gin they hadn’t finished the last time they spent the night. “Well, as a thank you for this lovely meal, the least I can do is help us wash it down. What say?”

She smiles yes, and he decides to keep things simple, iced gin and tonic topped with some mint and lime.

They make their way to his balcony, and sink into the old throw away couch he’d once found on the street, the small two seater that forces them close to each other, awkward limbs touching, and thinks of all the things he wants to ask, all the things he needs to say. But she’s here right now, yet far away, and he just sips his drink in silence.

She looks at him through the corner of her eye, and feels his proximity, his closeness, and it hurts her. Till last week everything was fine, she enjoyed getting close to him, enjoyed their morning routine, the sound of his laugh to every poor joke on TV. She enjoyed the feeling of anonymity, the safety of just being, untainted by her past, untouched by her demons.

She closes her eyes and inhales, a sharp breath, because she would give anything for it to go back to the way it was. But it was too late.

"You know…" She starts slowly, but she falters as she looks into his concerned eyes, "you've been saving me a lot lately."

There's a rye smile, a far away twinkle and she almost resents herself for it. Hates how grateful she is for that fact, how much she likes there's someone looking out for her, somebody who cares enough to be there for her.

The little girl in her that believed in Disney Princes had died years ago.

But the way he treated her now… She was starting to believe in tall, lanky men, especially ones with large glasses hiding their too-green eyes.

"… You've become quite the hero, Satsuki."

She’s marooned in her own island of fear and pain, and she thinks wistfully, that just maybe he wouldn’t mind saving her another time.

“… Samejima, I” - What did I save you from? He wants to ask, desperately, but he feels her eyelids fluttering shut, more than he sees them, unsure if the sound of hitched breathing is his or her own, and her lips, her breath is sweet gin mixed with the woman he's wanted to taste desperately for a long, long time now.

She's warm, and close, so very close, he's kissing her but he's not sure he is, because this isn't what kissing has ever felt like. Like liquid heat spreading through his body, from the point where her lips touched him.

It's like a switch, flipped somewhere inside him, and he reaches for her, frail waist in his arms, but it's more than that, like he's reaching for assurance and acceptance and heat in an almost savage manner when he licks across her bottom lip and -

He stops. Freezes when he feels the cracks on her lips and the faint cut where she had it bit it so hard it had started to bleed. How could he forget?

It had barely been a week since he had seen it. Seen the same eyes that looked at him now - a mixture of hurt and confusion, and an undeniable lust that stroked an ego that lay barely dormant somewhere deep within him - terrified and frenzied. Hands in her hair, barely coherent, a sight that had broken his heart more than he had thought possible.

"… What's wrong?" She asks, voice hoarse with desire and a little bit of fear, because she knows. She's feared this moment ever since her past came knocking at her door, even though she'd tried to hide it in her kisses, the way she held him like she was holding on to something that was on the very edge of breaking.

"… I…," Shishio's unsure, because every bone, every fibre in his body is screaming at him to not walk down this path, to go back to where they were a minute ago, what they do best, hiding their secrets in the heat of their bodies but the skeletons in their closets had woken up now, begging to be freed. "This is…" Fucked up, he wants to say, because that's what it is, that's what he is, his own petty fear of lowering his barriers and being rejected coming through again, like it always did.

"Tell me, Samejima…" He whispers, pleading even though her shirt was off by now, and her fingers curled in the hair just above his neck, lips parted like she wanted - like she actually, really wanted him, but he needed to know. Who was he? But he suspected, he’d seen the photograph, the man in the black tux that stood next to her as she smiled.

No, there was something that scared him even more, the look of crazed fear in her eyes when he’d found her, the desperation he’d never seen in her before.

“What did he do to you?”

A/N: Is this ship still alive and kicking? Did you make it to the end of my story? Please let me know (how it is)!

Xo

Liquorisce

[doyochii]

THEY KISSED

[colibri17]

[merlinhelpus]

I said it’s been a long time Since someone looked at me that way It’s like you knew me And all the things I couldn’t say

[cherry-blossoms-and-snowflakes]

From what I've observed, my neighbour is a very clumsy man, and, he makes my heart hurts a bit.

Samejima

[ult-myg]

Will I ever shut up about this chapter? No.

[nneefa]

i can’t stop thinking about shishio/samejima, so much so that i’m suffering from projectile word vomit right now! can you just imagine these two in their relationship?

them introducing each other to a shoujo manga that they each really like; them getting into heated discussions over the plot and characters, who’s their favorite, least favorite, what’s their favorite scene or chapter, etc.; fangirling over an animated shoujo series, watching and reacting to it together #movie nights!; going to more margaret exhibitions or conventions and just being overall dorks about their favorite thing.

them learning each other’s given names (assuming samejima doesn’t know shishio’s and samejima’s wasn’t revealed) and neither of them liking their names, but they like each others’ names. shishio learning more about samejima, because she was kinda expressionless before but now that he’s getting to know her, she’s actually very adorable.

more sweet-tempered kisses; tsubomi (and yukichi) noticing that shishio is a lot happier these days and being super happy for him, and him smiling a big, goofy smile because, “yes, i really am” and he thinks about samejima; them, maybe, moving in together sometime in the future after realizing that they spend way more time at each other’s apartments than their own; them waiting for the other to come home, because they miss each other; queue heated kisses outside of their apartment door

these dorks entering each other’s apartments through the veranda; samejima damn near dislocating shishio’s shoulder the first time he entered her apartment through the veranda because she mistook him for a burglar and apologizing; them bonding over drinks and dinner; them commenting on each other’s styles; shishio’s glasses/contacts look and samejima’s asymmetrical bangs and baggy hoodies (i really like her style tbh)

learning more about each other; that shishio is a high school teacher, and has a little sister that’d he’d love to introduce her to; that samejima has a little brother that went to the school he teaches at (it’s the guy with the droopy eyes that was always with togyuu) but is now in college or something; angst!; shishio feeling scared and anxious and nervous about telling samejima the story behind the sushi neck tie and suzume; maybe samejima could also have a bad experience too, or something? what’s the story behind her taking karate lessons in college? why did she cry so much over the fact that shishio liked shoujo manga? did someone find her weird or strange? maybe she had a hard time finding love or maybe not?; they can bond over their college experiences!

more angst (maybe)! shishio being invited to suzume’s wedding, and showing up with samejima as his surprise guest (because he asks suzume if it’s okay if he brings someone) and introducing samejima; and suzume being so happy for him that she cries for him like she did for yuyuka; and them sharing a dance at the wedding and holding hands, and more kisses!

i want more. hnr is over, but shishio and samejima have loads to be explored and i’m begging here yamamori! after your catastrophe tclp is over, please give us more shishio/samejima!

[bitterssweet-ai]

[cheliihv]

Well, since I haven’t posted anything in a long, long time, I wanted to do something decent.

art from mika yamamori, I just colored it.

[liquorisce]

Why is tumblr recommending my own fanfics to me lol wtf

[thought-anime]

Se que es difícil olvidar, por eso no te pido que lo hagas. Más bien, quiero comenzar algo nuevo y ayudarte a continuar.

[oshieteacapella]

Where is my Gorou x Samejima story? At least a date before the time she meets Shishio.

I JUST WANT SOME EDITORS IN LOVE FOR A LIL WHILE

[itslingering]

Facing my old wound again! Finished reading the latest 2 extra chapters from hnr. Spoiler! (it's an extra anw, but sadly i felt that it's still a major plot :"") The samejima x shishio one: It's really funny because samejima herself admit it, like "For some fortunate situations, I need to stay at my neighbor's room. Some lovely interactions happen. And if I fall in love with him, that would complete the shoujo manga cliches." Plus wtf he kissed her just because he thinks she's cute??? That's just.. contradictory to the fact that he was a guy who drew the line for romantic relationship, he just.. doesn't do that.. To an acquintance.. She's not even a friend (yet). But then he talked about suzume, her student... And I was shocked again!! HAHA my heart! I'm not even ready but you just opened your old wound wide open, shishio hahaha. I love now that shishio has talked about it, they could actually build some deeper bond. It's weird that he didn't mention / couldn't see Samejima's resemblance to Suzume. For the part that she couldn't show a lot of emotion even if she's not emotionless. And even if she's hard to show emotion, she had passion of one certain thing (shoujo manga, and sea creatures for suzume). And for the part that she rarely smiles and your heart fluttered when she smiles.. Like.. Any idea? But well who careees, Yamamori Mika might not want to mention that because it will make the story even longer and make shizume shippers even harder to move on. This extra completes my dose of good art and good words from Yamamori Mika. Despite of the plot, I adore her art and choice of words (also the mighty translator's words ;) ). And also my dose of Shishio. The mazume one: Okay. Suzume and Mamura are completely in different character from when the series start. Character's growth, I guess? Their interactions are so fluffy. It's hard to picture the old them where suzume wasn't able to show emotion well while mamura was very defensive of people's approaches. Soooo different from they now where suzume smiles and kisses easily while mamura is not being cold to people's teases. But tbh, personally, one of the reason that I love the manga hnr is for the mc's character of course. Hard to show emotion. But very passionate about something. And then come shishio, the beautiful teacher. And then come mamura, the cool guy who's shy to girls. I enjoy their interactions because of their characters. If they were real human, I would love to see their character growth. But because they're just shoujo manga characters.. I umm it's hard to keep up. It's like their MBTI just changed. But then when I think again. Okay, they're just teenagers. Teens grow to adults. Their characters also changed. And btw, I love the art :) and the clothes! Mamura wears high neck just like Steve Jobs. Suzume wears comfy lil-patterned sweaters just like shishio's haha.