#same w eve like she's better than she is in the comics for sure but it's already starting to waver w the markeve stuff idk wht they're even

[t4tpumpkinduo]

iloav invincible i wish they'd apologize to women

[ragdollsgender]

my thoughts on/liveblog of invincible season 3 episodes 1-3 👍 spoilers obviously

yayyy rex and mark are friends. also i literally said "its his favorite finger" at the exact same time as mark. literallyyyyy his favorite finger

multipauls new hair is cute. olivers is not :/ his bangs are weird bring back long hair oliver

multipaul talking though multiple versions of himself is rlly cool. i dont remember kate doing that at any point i think she just acts normal. hes lowkey edgier

i think they might lowkey be making oliver more fucked up with the way he intentionally tricked mark in2 promising,,,,, like on its own it would be nothing but considering what i know from the comics its an interesting choice i like this direction

wearing a ring outside your superhero suit seems like a bad idea lol. keep it on a chain or under the gloves or like. just add a decorative band of fabric

raeeeeee ^_^ wemon

they might be setting up rae and rex getting together. i dont hate it but ehhhhhh i dont think they have that much chemistry. they should just be besties

"familys back babey, and unbreakable" foreshadowing 🤨?

"he just wanted to surprise me" lol. in the comics oliver wanted to surprise mark. this is different

RICK CHRONIC PAIN KING LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO. win for disabled gay ppl (me)

eve going to school is awesome, more character development and potentially getting better at using her powers in creative ways ^_^ also her outfit in this scene is cute

oliver ipad baby

kidnapping rex while hes naked?????? not cool

eve for sure has a point abt the alt universe her being not actually the same as her. like i personally wouldnt automatically assume mark only acquired feelings after that but she has a point

stoppppp making doc seismic woke fuck my lifeeeee i thought we were done with this. also hes not even a generic mad scientist hes pretty unique. also homo sapiens didnt come up out of the ocean i think that line couldve been worded better

big fan of that cavewoman/bone theme lady that showed up for like 5 secs. women <3

idk if rex has more character this season or if im just noticing him more but its great

no more sinclair on screen during this scene fuck my stupid baka life and this gay earth. also wtf is severe psychological reprogramming

the after credits scene is a solid 2 mins which is unusual. i like how they seem to be going more slow w nolans character development here, i might not hate him as much later. but for now im still a hater i heart hating

EPISODE 2

idk how i feel abt flashback cecils design here. idk abt the ashy blonde hair. did he look like that in the comics cuz i dont remember

the moral of this story is never trust white women who say namaste

i dont see how this disaster in 1 city will lead to worldwide revolutions n shit. disasters happen all the time what makes this 1 special huh. "industrial society"? "return to the natural"?? i was expecting a communist angle not this anprim/tradprim stuff. she for sure posts quotes from the unibomber on tumblr

that was a very odd extended taser scene. and right on her boobs no less 🤨

i was wondering where the 2nd half of this duo was. why is he so american looking hes serving malibu ken or smthng. oddly tan

boobs with no skin on them do not look like that. the mammary tissue and fat are above the muscle so that would be visible here if they didnt they got burned off entirely. unless she has implants which i support. maybe she just got implants without taking any estrogen. in terms of actual looks the gore is mid but i appreciate the fact that they went that far anyways. welllll maybe this chemical stuff is just instantly cauterizing everything which is why theres no blood and the muscle is so weirdly colored. cecils segment is better than the freedom fists parts

ohhhh i see now the title colors are changing cuz. well i wont say for the sake of anybody who hasnt read the comics but You Know

"i dont work w criminals" technically killing anybody is against the law. including criminals. so You are a criminal. bro you are not the punisher

how is there spray paint on the walls. they dont let spray paint into prison. also yayyy another random woman on screen for 5 secs

theres only 1 bed??????

"darkwing and sinclair dont have your abilities" yea sinclair is literally just some guy. imagine using fucked up corpse cyborgs to protect yourself from a 130 pound goth egg

wow that blood is solidly brown. which makes sense for corpses i support

i think the composition of that particular shot in the white room was WAYYYY better in the comics. why is the background just a red gradient in the show,,,, SAD cuz the comics version is 1 of my fav panels tbh. much more dramatic. but ig its more work to draw during all those different shots vs just a couple panels of comics

no sinclair cameo in this scene either??????? they hate me

damn cecil is being super harsh

woah mark straight up saying he will kill cecil already?? idr if he said it like that in the comics

WUH OH. OHHH NOOO. you cant be talking like that purple baby. but he does have a point that straight up saying you will kill somebody is pretty bad

"it doesnt even make sense" eve. cecil is part of the united states military. he kills people

"i know you, you dont hurt people if you can help it" not everybody knows mark?? thinking you know him doesnt prevent him from doing things you dont expects?? rlly dubious worldview here lol. like its a common worldview but in my autistic opinion it doesnt make sense. not a critique of the shows writing but a critique of the general population of people who think like this

"rex has been asking for it for years" its just a littleeee weird to say your ex bf was asking to be murdered for years (including the time you dated him) when you and the guy youre talking to rn could both actually murder him easily. like if it was just beating him up a little or you werent dating him during those years or if mark hadnt actually killed a guy it would be less weird. im nitpicking

"eheh thats mee. mr self control" he does not believe that abt himself. lol

"and shes still heartbroken over something that never happened 2 decades earlier" EXACTLYYYYYYYY ive seen ppl talking abt how fucking weird it is that future eve was still so obsessed w mark especially cuz the show version has actual character development beyond Girl Character and Love Interest im so glad theyre actually addressing this in the show

high school was like 1 year ago you cant rlly dismiss it as just a high school crush when you are both still like 18 lmao

RAEEEEE. SHES TRAUMATIZED FUCK THIS. I Will Be Your Shield (reference)

amanda is so hashtag real for this. and samson is being kind of a dick. stop being so like,,,, boomerish

"all he had to do was follow orders" GIRL ARE YOU TALKING ABT THE ORDERS TO TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE EARTH??????? shes proooooobably talking abt the orders from cecil and not from marks dad but. it sounds bad when you say it like that

"but ive seen most of you not follow orders. many times in fact" lmaoooo hes so real. every single character on this show is a hypocrite 👍

the writing for this argument is GREAT most of them have both at least 1 good and 1 bad point. yayyy complexity and nuance

"sanctimonious" awesome i love words. they should learn more into this i luvvvv combinations of hypercasual and hyperformal speech. luv the directions theyre taking rexs character hes getting so much more interesting

RACECAR BED. AWESOME. wait does this imply that like the government just bought shapesmith a furnished apartment. or does he fucking live at the pentagon or smthng. fascinated by the implications here

"theyll be back" bro is clearly underestimating how Like That they all are

"he wouldve deserved it" WUH OH. OHHHHHH NOOOOOO. DONT SAY THAT

FINALLY rick saying that murder is murder pretty much. you are nottt the punisher you are not the sole arbiter of morals you should not decide who lives and dies

rex has a houseplant in his cardboard box :)

i dont like how rudy is so much taller than amanda. but whatever

he lowkey fumbled that. autism win

"someday i might need him on my side" FORESHADOWING???? ALREADY PLANNING HIS PLAN??????????

"are they special needs" EXACTLY what i was thinking after debbie said that lmaooooo. but it is true that mark is autistic in my opinion and oliver. has something odd going on. "yes, no, umm not in the conventional sense uhh" she is fumbling this so hard. she couldve said oliver is, to explain who hes homeschooled by a private tutor and doesnt go out much

yayyy eve in college. omg whos this girl. i dont recognize her from the comics. random woman event

"it will be good to have darkwing on the guardians again" ok he was being a dick earlier and i still dont like him but hes validating darkwing 2s abilities as on par with the old darkwing awww :)

EPISODE 3

they made tether tyrant skinny :/

THEYRE GAY FOR REAL LETS GOOOOOO

the orchid dying is a Metaphor but more importantly its dying cuz it shouldnt be in a coffee can. orchids need airflow around their roots, theyre usually kept in special containers that are basically mesh. those 2 probably also dont water it enough and they might have even put it in dirt instead of moss. SAD

magmaniac is straight up barefoot. bro

mark homophobic moments

thats the same girl eve met in episode 2, is she going to be an actual character. i hope she gets a name. yayy more women

mark didnt even keep amber updated on this broooooo keep in touch with your friend

the deed to the bridge is in rudys name,,,,, shes fucking loaded how do you buy a bridge. probably doing at least 3 online jobs in the background all the time or smthng

RAE BACKSTORY LETS FUCKING GOOOOO LETS GOOOOO i was allllmosttttt expecting a canon trans reveal here but im probably expecting too much from this show. oh well

also is rudy going to actually tell people about the fucked up clone/body transfer thing or what. can we get more rudy content. i think about this every fucking day

"rex and his exes" woah hes bisexual i didnt know that (reference)

is that amandas belt omgggg

"theyre my parentsssss" fuck parents eve you dont need to put up with this. kill them

tbh the O standing for oliver doesnt even make sense cuz why would he use his actual legal name as his code name,,,,,, but im nitpicking its whatever

woah mark got rlly mad huh

paul,,,, its kind of weird how he heard that debbies exhusband actually killed dozens of ppl and said "wow,,, hes so cool and im balding" now is not the time to self deprecate buddy

eve has been reading abuse recovery books for sure

"thats the us military for you, always fixing things as cheaply as possible" he was so hashtag real for this

i missed the maulers tbh theyre awesome

a lot of REALLY funny lines in this scene. i dont want to type them all out but theyre great

did the maulers not hear abt kate dying cuz they dont seem surprised,,,, maybe they were just in jail the entire time idr

here we goooo. yayy murder

id like to think that mark being silent after oliver says nolan was right is cuz theyre toning down the "eugenics is basically fine" attitudes from the comics. but maybe its just supposed to be more dramatic

ok theres more talking abt murder being wrong than the comics but not the eugenics specifically. which i was expecting but a guy can dream ok. so i wonder if theyre just closing off olivers Thing here or if the life lesson didnt take and hes going to keep acting like that

episode 2 was my fav but i also like the ways they subtly changed the plot points in episode 3. episode 1 kind of felt like getting back into the swing of things, it isnt bad but it was less dramatic yknow. less stuff going on. overall some good episodes ^_^

[gellavonhamster]

for the ask meme: 001 for dark (even though i still haven’t watched it yet but i’m really excited to eventually) and/or 002 for beatrice/bertrand/lemony

001 for Dark:

Favorite character: Claudia - the cleverest player in the time travel game and the baddest bitch with an amazing character development

Least favorite character: Ulrich. Objectively speaking, he is hardly the worst person out there, but I just find him so annoying

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Aleksander/Regina, Agnes/Doris, Hannah/Katharina, Jonas/Martha (I couldn’t care less about them for the first two seasons, but s3 changed my mind), annnd Bartosz/Silja

Character I find most attractive: AGNES

Character I would marry: do I absolutely have to marry into that horrible town? The 1950′s version of Egon seems like an okay option, I guess

Character I would be best friends with: Regina or Ines

A random thought: a fic I recently read opened my eyes to the fact that the snake biting its own tail - the symbol associated with the time travellers - could signify not only the ouroboros, in which the beginning is the end and the end is the beginning, but also (in its secondary meaning) the serpent, which seems quite appropriate for a story that has Adam, Eve, (the myth of) Paradise, and the (White) Devil, and wow... there are truly endless possibilities for analysis, what a mindblowing show (she said for the 100th time)      

An unpopular opinion: I... don’t feel as strongly about Noah/Elisabeth as everyone else seems to. That must be because we didn’t see much of them as an actual couple, it was mostly a grown man around a little girl (creepy) or a young adult around a girl who is still significantly younger than he (less creepy, but still a bit weird). They obviously loved each other a lot and deserved better, but I guess I just didn’t have enough time to get attached to them as a ship

My Canon OTP: Aleksander/Regina

My Non-canon OTP: I don’t really have one at this point, but the idea of  Hannah/Katharina is slowly growing on me... who needs cheating men, lol

Most Badass Character: Claudia (see the first point)

Most Epic Villain: I don’t think there are any clear-cut villains on this show, but if we’re talking those morally gray characters who cause the most problems, then probably Eve (sorry, Adam!)

Pairing I am not a fan of: the first ship I thought of is very spoilery, so I’ll just say instead that Ulrich/Hannah was an unhealthy trashfire of a relationship that made everything worse for everybody

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Silja (underdeveloped, needed more personality, I still love her though), Agnes and Doris (their subplot got neglected towards the end)

Favourite Friendship: weirdly enough, I don’t know? Everyone in this story just keeps screwing everyone over. But I enjoyed what little we saw of alt!Martha and alt!Bartosz together, and, if sibling dynamics count, Martha & Magnus.

Character I most identify with: I’ve definitely made this joke somewhere already, but Wöller because comic relief eye injury + I, too, never have a clue about what’s going on

Character I wish I could be: uhhh, no one? Maybe Claudia if I really have to come up with an answer (not pre-time travel Claudia, though).

002 for B/B/L:

When I started shipping them: god, I don’t remember. Some time after joining the ASOUE fandom and reading some fics and realizing that this is a possibility and I like this possibility a lot

My thoughts: I know I’ve said this before, but it makes canon less tragic (no love triangle) and MORE tragic (Lemony loses both people he loved) at the same time, and I think that’s beautiful. Also, each dynamic between each two characters within this OT3 is so interesting in its own way! There’s Lemony/Beatrice that must have grown from a passionate relationship of two dramatic and loving people who were probably too similar in their personality and not similar enough in their aspirations to what is basically the poet and the muse (probably because writing about a muse is not as painful as mourning a real woman). There’s Bertrand/Beatrice, which I see as a more mature and healthy, if less romantic, relationship of two people who share the same goals and the weight of the same crime on their shoulders and decide to change their lives together. And then there’s Bertrand/Lemony - two gifted men who got compared to each other (well, at least L sure got compared to B) even before they first met, and who, logically, must have been rivals, except that there is a lot of fondness in how Lemony writes about the man who married his ex-bride... inch resting..... what I’m saying is that it’s a facinating dynamic made up of three separate fascinating dynamics and they live in my head rent free  

What makes me happy about them: see above for fascinating dynamics + I like to imagine that whatever time they spent together was very happy for all three of them 

What makes me sad about them: oh, I don’t know, the fact that two of them die, and one is left alone and depressed? :))

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I think I liked, at least more or less, all B/B/L fics I’ve read, so I have no answer

Things I look for in fanfic: at this point I just look for fanfic, period. Also smut bc I can’t believe the closest thing to smut w/ this ship was written by me, of all people

My wishlist: I don’t see how this point is different from the previous one? Anyway, gimme all the fanfiction and fanart and headcanons and everything

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:  Beatrice with R, Bertrand with Ernest (Vera sold me on this ship :D), Lemony with his Kind Editor

My happily ever after for them: B&B both survive the fire, start looking for their children, run into L, and then all three of them together manage to find Violet, Klaus, and Sunny

[theastrophilearchitect]

February 2021 wrap-up.

Every book, audiobook, tv show and movie I consumed in February.

The phrase ‘wrap-up’ is so boring. I want to talk about books, TV shows and movies, so I can’t even call it a ‘reading wrap-up’, however pleasingly alliterative that sounds despite the fact that ‘wrap��� actually begins with a W. One of my favourite YouTubers, polandbananasBOOKS (that capitalisation is loud) calls her wrap-ups ‘Stories I Ate This Month’ which I love, but using exactly that seems wrong. I genuinely debated calling this ‘My Media Diet’, but the word ‘diet’ has so many negative connotations to me, so I dropped that. Besides ‘wrap-up’ all in lowercase followed by a full stop is aesthetically pleasing.

The Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins (audiobook) I’ve read this series countless times. I read the series first time through six years ago, and, after finishing it, I just kept rereading it during silent reading time at school, so God only knows how many times I’ve read it at this point. This is actually the second time I’ve listened to this audiobook, and I still, of course, love it. When I first read it, this book stuck with me. It was the first teen book I ever read and, most unfortunately, put me into a dystopian phase. However, we got over that. I’m good now. I promise.

You know what this is about, but here it is anyway: in a dystopian future (of literally just North America, it never mentions what’s happening anywhere else), a country called Panem (literally the whole of North America) is divided into the luxurious, utopian Capitol, and thirteen districts, all of which gather or produce something for the Capitol. Some of the districts live in poverty, while others are afforded some luxuries but nowhere near those of the Capitol. It never really explains how this system came to be, but then there was a rebellion against the Capitol in which District Thirteen was destroyed, and every year two teenagers from each district are chosen to compete in the Hunger Games, where twenty-four tributes are put in an arena together to fight to the death, and the last person standing emerges victorious. It feels so strange to talk about the basic premise of this book without going into the rest of the trilogy, but I’ll leave it here.

I hate how the media washes this book out and plays it off as just another love triangle, which it barely even is. It has such an important message about society, and the fact that the media does that just proves how accurate it is. I can’t believe when I first read it I was actually Team Gale, but in truth I think that was just because I liked Liam Hemsworth better than Josh Hutcherson, which I still do, but not the point. Anyway, the narrator is excellent.

I’m not giving these booksa rating, both because it’s a reread and I like to base ratings off my initial opinion, and because the first time I read this book I was literally a small child, and part of my love is the nostalgia.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by VE Schwab

This was the first book I read with my eyes this month, and I ended up getting the ebook because it was just so much cheaper than getting a physical copy - I may have invested if I loved the UK cover as much as the US, I’m ashamed to say (above is UK). It was not what I was expecting.

This book was much more contemplation-heavy than I was expecting and actually very light on plot. In 1714, Adeline LaRue runs away from her wedding and prays to Gods, wishing to be free, and is answered by the darkness, who makes her a deal: he grants her immortality, and she promises him her soul when she doesn’t want it anymore. He, wanting her soul, twistedly grants her freedom by cursing her to be forgotten by everyone she ever meets. Three hundred years later, she meets someone who remembers her.

It’s really about life, freedom and time - there’s no direct message or moral, at least not that I picked up on, but it really makes you think. I do enjoy that in a book, but not as much as one where i just love the story. I generally prefer books where I’m rooting for the characters, and it’s full of ships - the kind of stories you would write fanfiction about, but this is the kind of book that I think will stick with me. I take issue with how cliché the ending was, though.

Anyway, I’m not actually sure how I want to rate this. As a British teenager, I’m not actually that familiar with lettered ratings, and I don’t really want to use stars, but I think I’m going to suck it up. Maybe I’ll think of something else eventually.

Rating: 4.5 stars - books that get five stars from me are generally based on the enjoyment factor, but this book deserved more than four.

Arrow Season 1

I’ve been semi-interested in the Arrowverse/DC TV universe for a while, and finally took the opportunity to delve in. This show is so insanely CW - everyone has that look, it has that tone and it takes itself way too seriously. By the 23rd time you’re hearing it, the recap becomes painful to listen to.

This was the first show in DC’s saga - the show picks up as Oliver Queen returns home from being stranded on an island for five years after a cruise ship sank. When the ship went down, his billionaire father sacrificed himself to save Oliver, and left him with a list of ‘the people poisoning [his] city’. Upon returning home, Oliver becomes the vigilante who will eventually become known as ‘Arrow’ or ‘Green Arrow’ (currently unclear; I’m not a comic book person) but is currently dubbed just ‘the Hood’ or ‘the vigilante’, with the goal of taking down the people on the list. It’s very intense.

It took me about ten episodes to actually get invested - which is nearly seven hours watch time - but, ultimately, I’m glad that I did. Aside from the excessive CW-ness of this show, I love the characters and I want to see what happens.

Still, why is everyone so obsesses with Laurel? What’s so great about Laurel? I don’t get it. Felicity is 10000% the best character - she’s relatable, cute, and I high-key ship her with Oliver.

This little rant of mine was unintelligible.

Rating: 4 stars

Guardians of the Galaxy

I’m not explaining what this movie is about. Honestly. This was just a rewatch: I’m currently rewatching every MCU movie in chronological order (as in, starting with Captain America: The First Avenger instead of Iron Man). For every TV season I finish, I watch a a movie, and I alternate between movie series, one of which is, at the moment, MCU films. It’s hard for me to briefly explain my weird watching patterns.

I love this movie so much. It was the first really upbeat MCU movie, and I love the characters.

I don’t really have much to say about this, but if you haven’t watched MCU movies, please watch them. Even if you don’t want to, this movie is absolutely worth watching and you don’t need to watch any other MCU movies for context.

I Am Not Okay With This Season 1

I’m reeling from this show. I literally can’t tell whether or not this is getting a second season; it seems like it was meant to, but then got cancelled, and now I can’t tell.

This show follows a high school student named Sydney. She’s your typical outcast, and isn’t interested in getting ‘in’ - she’s best friends with a girl named Dina; they both came to their school around the same time and ended up friends, though Dina is your typical pretty girl. Then Syd discovers she has powers that operate based on her emotions, and I really don’t want to say anything else. But it does star Sophia Lillis and Wyatt Oleff, who you likely know as two of the kids in IT (the clown movie, not like computing).

Honestly, episodes 1-6 were very chill, more focused on teenage life than her powers, then episode 7 brought it. Up until the end of episode 7, I enjoyed the show and would be happy to watch a second season, but I wasn’t particularly invested or excited by it. Then episode 7. I would love a second season of this show. I have to at least know where the writers were going with it.

This show came out last year, and I only just got to it, but I can’t believe I haven’t heard anybody talking about it. It’s intense, it’s entertaining, and the first season will only take up about two and a half hours of your time (it’s seven 19-28 minute episodes).

Rating: 4 stars

Blue Lily, Lily Blue and The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater

I listened to The Raven Cycle audiobooks in 2019, and I’m not sure why because I didn’t even enjoy them that much. I did, however, decide I wanted to read Call Down the Hawk, the first book in the spin-off series, and that meant I had to reread The Raven Cycle since I had paid so little attention to the audiobooks, which I started in January and I love this series. Not what I expected from a reread of a series I paid virtually no attention to, but here we are.

This is book 3 in The Raven Cycle series, book 1 being The Raven Boys, which is a paranormal book in which the protagonist Blue, is the only non-psychic in a family of psychics, and has been told her whole life that if she kisses her true love, she will kill him. Then, on St Somebody’s Eve (Mark’s? I want to say Mark’s but I’m not sure), when she goes with her aunt to see the spirits of the people who will die in the next year, she sees one of the spirits, a boy from Aglionby Academy, the local private school, meaning he is either her true love, or she is the one who kills him, which in her case, could very much be both. Then that boy schedules a reading with her psychic family to help him find an old Welsh king, and there is so much more than that to this glorious series, but I’ll stop here.

I think my main thing in books and general media is the characters. They have to follow some kind of sensible plot, but if I’m not invested in the characters, I can’t get invested in the story. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever been so in love with a cast of characters, not even in Six of Crows - this story is so character-driven, and I can’t get enough. This was an excellent continuation, and so much happened, but it did feel like its purpose was just to set up the final book, so I didn’t enjoy this one quite as much as the previous two.

Rating: 4 stars

As for The Raven King - this was the last book I read this month, finishing it on the morning of the 27th because I knew I would have very little reading time from mid-afternoon until twenty-four hours later.

In complete honesty, I found the climax of this book to be a little rushed - we spend the whole series aware that Gansey’s looking for Glendower, but it never seems to be more prevalent than just their general investigations as to what the hell is happening. As a result, when it came to that in this book, it felt a little out of the blue (no pun intended).

Regardless, this series so well balances strong characters and strong plot where so many others fail, and I love it.

Rating: 5 stars

Fate: The Winx Saga Season 1

This show is a live-action rated-15 Netflix adaptation of one of my favourite childhood shows, Winx Club. And, honestly, you can tell.

I tried to watch this objectively, instead of complaining about how they cut some of my favourite characters and changed so many (Tecna, Riven, Beatrix, Stella, Brandon etc.). While I was upset about some of the cuts, I can agree that they were best for the story. Where in the original, every fairy had their own unique powers, this adaptation splits it into five elements: fire (Bloom), water (Aisha - on another note, screw Aisha, honestly), air (Beatrix), earth (Terra) and mind (Musa), though Stella still has light powers? Which is never explained?

Anyway, this follows teenage Bloom as she discovers she’s a fairy and goes through her first year at a fairy school called Alfea.

I’m not going to go too deep into this because I have so much to say about this show that i think I’m going to make a whole separate review rather than bore you with it now. 

Quality-wise, this show was mediocre, but enjoyment and nostalgia raise its rating for me because I’m biased.

Rating: 4 stars

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

This is both Bardugo’s first adult novel and her first novel not set in the Grishaverse. I read the Grisha trilogy for the first time years ago and didn’t like it that much, but followed that right up with the Six of Crows duology which I loved. I read King of Scars in 2019 when it came out, and started listening to the King of Scars audiobook just before I started reading this in preparation for Rule of Wolves at the end of March.

I loved this. I don’t think I have anything to criticise quality-wise - the characters had depth, there were plot twists and strong subplots, the world was incredibly well built, and the only thing that got me to put this book down was taking a week to start working on my own writing project (post coming soon). Because I took that week completely off reading, this book took me about two weeks total from start to finish, but it was so worth it.

This novel follows Alex Stern, a twenty-year-old whose friends have all been murdered. She was found beside one of them who died of a overdose, with the same drug in her system. But Alex can see ghosts, and, soon after her friends’ deaths, is consequently offered a scholarship to Yale University, on the condition that she works for the ninth House of the Veil to monitor the activities of Yale’s secret societies.

In complete candour, I found this book somewhat convoluted, though most of that was probably mainly my own poor reading comprehension. Regardless, I loved the plot, and am very highly anticipating the eventual release of its as-of-yet unnamed sequel.

Rating: 4.5 stars

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

So I actually finished this audiobook briefly after finishing Blue Lily, Lily Blue, but I’m tacking it on here because I forgot to add it to the list and already explained my Grishaverse experience in my Ninth House comments.

So, yes, I love this duology, and it really opened a new compartment in my writing brain, even though I haven’t really taken advantage of that writing brain until now (again, post coming soon).

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo

I am realising I’ve read eight books this month, and nearly half of them were by Leigh Bardugo. Which makes sense, considering how much I enjoy her books.

This book is slower-paced than most of hers, but it does follow two (one of which splits again) completely separate storylines, and is still excellent and entertaining.

I listened to this for a recap before Rule of Wolves is released on March 30th.

[strawberryybird]

So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.

Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?

Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol

ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)

ok content time:

the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.

i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO 

edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday. 

edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.

My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the  consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character

My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)

my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk

so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.

i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)

no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.

i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT. 

as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i  k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing. 

(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)

also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it. 

also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT. 

also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol

.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash

also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.

.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)

[massmurdera]

2018 best (and some worst)

2018 was the shittiest year of my life personally and I was a trainwreck almost instantly. I was real hopeful going in, but I got my heart broken as badly as I could get (and it somehow just kept getting worse). Ugh. It’s boring to articulate, but it was a never-ending Russian nesting doll of heartbreak, disappointment, and frustration. But I made more positive changes in the last 12 months than I did in the last 12 years. So that’s something.

TV Funniest go-to show: Desus and Mero (wish they didn’t go on hiatus when they left for Showtime) Favorite shows: 1) Big Mouth 2) Atlanta 3) Killing Eve 4) Bodyguard 5) Haunting of Hill House

Other shows I enjoyed: American Vandal; Homecoming; Americans; GLOW; Better Call Saul; Succession; Cobra Kai; Kominsky Method; Corporate Meh: Barry; Sharp Objects; Who Is America?; Daredevil Favorite Comedy specials: 1) Rory Scovel 2) Bert Kreischer 3) John Mulaney

MOVIES 4 ½ stars: Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse; Sorry to Bother You 4 stars: Quiet Place; Hereditary; Mission Impossible: Fallout; Blackkklansman; Deadpool 2 3 ½ stars: To All the Boys…; Incredibles 2; Game Night; Revenge 3 stars (solid rental): Game Night; Upgrade; Revenge; Ant-Man; Hold the Dark 2 ½ stars (OK rental): Black Panther; Avengers Meh: Love Simon; Support the Girls Probably Good but bored the shit out of me: Roma; First Reformed; Eighth Grade Hated: Mandy; Ballad of Buster Scruggs 

STILL NEED TO SEE: Bad Times at El Royale; Bodied; Creed 2; Death of Stalin; Favourite; First Man; Free Solo; Green Book; Halloween; If Beale Street Could Talk; Minding the Gap; Solo; Star is Born; Vice; Widows

MUSIC Favorite Records: 1) Brian Fallon-‘Sleepwalkers’ 2) Story So Far-‘Proper Dose’

1975 has great songs but they have too much filler in their records. Damn good songs: Foxing-‘Nearer My God’; Wonder Years-‘Pyramids of Salt’; Thrice-‘Beyond the Pines’ PODCASTS Favorite Podcasts personally: -Filmdrunk Frotcast (Movies/comedy) -Dollop (history PLUS comedy) -Bill Burr’s Monday Morning Podcast (one-man rant from the best comic alive) -Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend (comedy + conversations) -Rewatchables (Movies/comedy) -Bill Simmons (conversations) -Pardon My Take (sports + comedy) -Chapo Trap House (leftist politics + comedy) -Press Box (media) 

Intercepted’s takedown of George HW Bush is great. That show and Citations Needed has its moments. I think if you’re a historian/leftist, the best podcasts are Hardcore History or Common Sense (Dan Carlin), Citations Needed, Intercepted, Chapo Trap House, and the Dollop. Dan Carlin is the one you can enjoy if you’re on ANY political spectrum—and the Dollop is not too far behind; that’s truly the most special when it hits.

Other: My Favorite Murder; Revisionist History; Matty + Nick; Hound Tall; We’ll See You in Hell; Binge Mode: Harry Potter; Bertcast/Open Tabs; Gladiator: Aaron Hernandez

Re-listening to Walking the Room for the 3rd time; that’s my favorite podcast of all time. Late pass: ‘Embedded’ series on Trump is amazing. Doesn’t come out often but when it does? Fascinating and goes in on Trump stories that don’t get talked about. Podcasts I’d recommend: In the Dark; RFK Tapes; Slow Burn (S2 on Monica Lewinsky scandal is great)

‘In the Dark’ is by far the best. S1 in 2016 I prefer over S2; check out both.  Podcasts I’m going to check out: Crimetown: Detroit; Serial S3

Vince Mancini (Filmdrunk/Uproxx) has an annual best list on the best investigative/true crime podcasts each year that are the best lists I’ve seen. Best Dollop Episodes of the Year (must-listens on serious subjects): Donald Trump; the Resnicks: Water Monsters; George HW Bush; John McCain; Wells Fargo; Erik Prince & Blackwater 

The above subjects deal with subjects to be genuinely outraged about versus faux things to be outraged about everyday (Russia; Louis CK or what a comic said) and the way the media talks or ignores subjects completely. The way it’s done is so great (Dave reading a topic coldly while his friend interjects with commentary—and then in the end coming together with a South Park-esque take on what the fuck is happening)

Other: Feinstein and the Flag; Levittown: the White Suburb Funniest episode of the Dollop:  1908 New York to Paris Car Race (live w/ James Adomian). Hands down the funniest. Dave purposely saved a great one for the fucking great and underrated James Adomian.

I can tune in and out of some Dollop episodes, but when it goes in on a subject or has a particular guest, you know it’s going to hit.

BOOKS Favorite book: City of Thieves by David Benioff Late pass great: ‘Slaughterhouse Five’ Pretty good: ‘Devil in White City’; ‘Lexicon’ Meh: ‘Sirens of Titan’ Hated: ‘the Bell Jar’

Best twitter follows/online writers: Justin Halpern; Drew Magary; Brian Grubb

BEST EVENTS: 1) Gaslight Anthem 59 Sound 10th Anniversary 2) Boston Calling: the National, Menzingers, Queens of the Stone Age, the Killers 3) Bert Kreischer @ Wilbur: near front row 4) Bill Burr @ TD Garden 5) Pats-Titans playoff game

Biggest regret and disappointment: Moving my ‘ex’ into my friend’s house in January (with the hope that I’d be living there half the time too)—only for her to end up wanting NOTHING at all to do with me that same day after I helped her unpack out of nowhere, threaten suicide in a non-joking manner in front of her new roommates and my friend after a political argument at the end of the first night she moved in, get with someone we work with behind my back almost instantly (a bland and lame cokehead who got busted for cocaine 18 months prior and faced 7 years in jail), try to fuck my friend when I was mid-conversation with them both first time seeing her 3 months after it all ended—and for her to eventually date my friend’s roommate who my friend warned me would try and fuck her but I didn’t take seriously because I thought he wasn’t good looking, tiny, just vaped all day long, and kind of a douche. Cool. Awesome.

I mean, that’s a simplistic breakdown of it all and how I feel about it when I’m angry. It’s more complex and fucked up than that and I could write a book on it to elaborate my thoughts, good and bad. It’s genuinely heartbreaking to articulate it and I withheld that from her:  part of the reason why I moved her into my friend’s place (she didn’t know him or anybody) was because I wanted her in my life and didn’t want to lose her. Instead, it felt like I locked myself out of a party, I’m banging on the door and it’s cold outside, but nobody hears me. It’s just that feeling constantly. At the same time, it’s also very simple: she just wasn’t that into me, valued me, gave a damn, respected me, or cared. It’s NOT as angry or mean as it sounds. It just is what it is. Do NOT move the person you’re seeing into a friend’s place. If it doesn’t work out, make sure you can get a clean break. Oh, and probably do NOT date at work if you can until you know one of you is leaving (or, in my case, she leaves 10+ months after it’. I fucked both up and it’s been impossible to move on. Thankfully, she just left work 2 weeks ago and there’s less anxiety, mental work (thinking about her all the time which I still do but it’s not on maximum overdrive) and tiny heartbreaks each day. I mean, I was devastated when she told me she was leaving and there was finality. I miss her and have missed her all this time, but it’s a good thing: there was nothing I was getting out of it. But still: why did she say yes to moving into MY friend’ s place if she was just going to do a 360 heel turn, be an asshole and resentful towards me out of nowhere, never bother seeing the place I moved into/what I did with it?. Just a disaster of my own creation. I like to think in time I’ll get over it all and move on. I highly doubt I’ll ever see or talk to her again. I refuse to ever go back to my friend’s house for a variety of reasons and I had those thoughts even before the Cinco de Mayo party, but definitely after. I just don’t belong there and it hurts. And I know she’s uncomfortable too if I’m there even if she says otherwise.

Best thing personally: my brother got married, his wedding, friends, and my family. It’s cool to see my brother have his life together, be married into an awesome family, and meet a nice girl. I’ve seen my brother have his heartbreaks, but it’s nice to see him finally have peace and consistency. He’s got a really great house near where the Pats play (closer than where we’d park to games), works 4 days a week and makes bank too. 

BIGGEST CHANGES I MADE moved out to a place of my own in late January-it’s my uncle’s 3-decker, which he intends to pass on to me. So I’m saving $ by being here and it’s decent. The drawback is that it’s 3rd floor and inhospitable during the summer when it’s an oven with no windows where they should be to put an AC unit in (I just stayed at my parents: I would have toughed it out but I desperately need sleep for school). But yeah, I’m over 30 and needed a place of my own. I’d love to live in Boston, but it’s completely fucking unaffordable unless you work 2-3 jobs.

One annoying thing: my driveway gets egged EVERY day since May. We have fake cameras, but pretty sure it’s the next-door neighbor and not some punk kids on their way to school. It is enraging. Who eggs a house everyday? And it’s literally only my car or the lady next to me, not even close to the street. I keep on looking at the trajectory of the eggs and it’s fucking ridiculous. Luckily, because of school (and because I was away during the summer), the egging doesn’t happen until after 8-10 AM.

I’m 10 minutes from my parent’s place (halfway to my workplace and gym as a cut-off place), 5 minutes from the school I attend, and centrally located to things I want to be (Boston, my brother, Cape Cod, possible job changes or to where I intend to move if I can)… went to school to be an electrician-In school 715 to 1245 Monday-Friday. Pain in the ass schedule and tiring, but a big change. I suck at being handy. Most people are sons of people in the trade or went to trade school. Then there’s me: never picked up a drill or a hammer. But I’m working on it. 

I mean, the job IS risky (it’s not an office job) and any job outside of going back to school for a master’s or doctorate to get ahead (I fucking tried!) requires backbreaking manual work that breaks you down in most cases (construction, plumbing and smelling bad to even fixing cars where I hear that breaks your body down). Being an electrician seemed like the least of them all unless you want to be a linesman stuck outside no matter the weather for National Grid or down in manholes—because they pay REALLY well (most people in class actually want those jobs without reservations). I’m fine with being paid pretty well while enjoying myself. I’ll stay away from something monotonous like solar panels or being on a roof all day though.

Jiu-Jitsu-did this for 3 months and loved it. Had to take a break because I can only do weekends and it’s expensive. And I’m too exhausted for 9 AM class come Saturday. After a 6 AM to 12AM schedule M-F, I just completely fucking crash come Saturday. I fully intend on going back and doing yoga too when I finish school in July. 

Most people start doing jiu-jitsu because of Joe Rogan. My answer got a laugh. ‘Yeah, I wanted to try something new. Also, I watched John Wick about a 100 times.’

Therapy-post ‘break-up’ I realized I needed help. I spent a month in February not being able to fall asleep (maybe 24 hours sleep in 3 weeks) before I finally got meds. About a million waking nightmares (holy shit that’s a thing). Constantly crying, particularly on the weekends without her, separation anxiety and just anxiety that did not go away at all: a constant weight. We had a Jim-and-Pam relationship at work, even when it was over—but once she started dating my friend’s roommate, she distanced herself more than ever and it was just fake as fuck. I was frustrated with not finding a job to not passing a test that I studied my ass for 3+ months for that would allow me to leave my job AND the girl. They threw in shit that was not on the study guide at all in the test. Blah. I punched a hole through my bedroom wall (like they do in the movies) and fucked up my hand a bit. 

But yeah, I’m working on my confidence, following through with my goals, challenging myself, making adjustments, facing fears, getting over my anxiety, relationships. I’m proud of how, even without therapy, I handled the girl who was cold and distant: I was ALWAYS warm and welcoming, had a good attitude about it with her. It wasn’t a point of pride to be that way; I just was. If I was around her, the hurt just kind of all faded, however briefly. In the back of my head I wanted to light her the fuck up for how she was acting or NOT acting, but I just didn’t. But it’s hard. I am depressed all the time, but not nearly as overwhelming as I was. I’m really lonesome—and I want to reach out, but I don’t know to who a lot of the time. I feel left out and it’s hard to maintain relationships, but I am trying. It’s hard at 32 but people fade away. You think you’re wiser and more mature that it won’t happen, but it does. It’s just harder to make friends, I guess. I ruminate all the time and think too much. I’m trying to be mindful and in the moment. But I keep on thinking about all the things I’m NOT doing or the things I’m waiting for to happen. But there’s always going to be that. I am doing a LOT and the changes aren’t coming all at once. I like my therapist (I had one when I was in 5th grade and again when I was 19: I didn’t like them: finding a therapist that fits you is the biggest thing)

I realized a lot of the problems I had were patterns even going back to the heartbreak I felt at 18-20 when I was the worst mess I ever was. It wasn’t the girl who broke my heart, but it was me. I should have been better and stronger far before I met her. I wasn’t really living I don’t think. In some ways, I gave up and was sleepwalking through things. But everything I thought I was past just bubbled to the surface. And I had to get it right, something needed to change, and I needed help.

I withheld my problems from everybody because I didn’t want to be a burden. I especially did NOT want to be depressing but I think I became a burden for the girl who broke my heart. She had nothing to give and she was upset at me for talking to her at work and being cheerful, telling stories, or anything. Secretly, I was a mess and it was painful. In a way, I was denying myself and that made it worse.

Here’s the thing: I don’t think I’m that big of a mess. I might be lonely, but I got a good head, attitude, and people generally like me. I make people laugh easily and without trying. I got a lot going for me and I got support.

Tattoos -got the lighthouse tattoo I always wanted since I was 18. I didn’t believe a tattoo artist could carry out my idea. Liked the tattoo artist so much that I stretched it out into a full sleeve. I want to do more and have some ideas. We’ll see.

Other-new car; collecting board games; got tour posters and Pats memorabilia framed WORST POLITICAL: the chaos that comes with Trump-Well, that hasn’t changed. I’ll hate the GOP/Republicans and that goes without saying. I have some small hope with people like Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, but I don’t have any faith in the Democratic party at fucking all: they will rather work with Republicans than work with people who actually want to make an actual change. You kind of just realize how shitty a party they and Obama were and how they are bought/paid for and resistant to any meaningful change. We are fucked.

LOOK AHEAD TO 2019: -finishing school in July and starting new career as electrician -cousin’s wedding and going to Las Vegas for a bachelor party (I’m more psyched for the awesome house we are staying in than Vegas itself) -Pats playoff run and possible end of Brady-Gronk: I’m not hopeful, but I’m going to enjoy my favorite Boston athletes of my lifetime. Couldn’t ask for anything more from them. I just wish Bill Belichick did a better job as a GM and not fucking up nearly every draft since 2006 besides 2010 and 2012. They’ve won 5, but feels like Belichick cost the Pats 3-5 more minimum. Every year you have Tom Brady, you’re in the AFC Championship or Super Bowl. Belichick and Patricia mailed in the Eagles Super Bowl on defense. WTF was that? -doing jiu-jitsu, yoga, taking up swimming, continue following through on my gym program: my goal is to delay having a bad back as long as possible. I’m in the best shape of my life by far, so that’s good. I want to cut some of my gut weight out though: when I bend down to put on my work boots, I feel it. -more tattoos? -dating again (I am struggling so BADLY with online dating and need to work on having better pics: I can’t get a single match/date) -looking at buying a condo or home. I’ve got about $100K saved up and just slowly collecting things in my apartment for the big transition. Still would like to see where I end up working. Ideally, I’d love to have a lake house somewhere decent and centralized.

BOOKS: -Don Winslow wrapping up cartel/border trilogy -new Gillian Flynn?!? -Marlon James’ African Game of Thrones trilogy begins -Stephen King

TV 1a) Desus and Mero returns 1b) Game of Thrones final season 2) Veep final season 3) Lovecraft Country 4) Watchmen 5) Stranger Things 6) Good Omens 7) Devs 8) Fosse/Verdon

NEW: City on a Hill; Deadwood movie; Star Wars; Veronica Mars

MUSIC -Boston Callling -new: 1975, Bruce Springsteen

MOVIES: 1) Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 2) John Wick III 3) Us Toy Story IV 4) Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw OTHER: Avengers; Captain Marvel; Glass; It 2; Joker; Lego Movie 2; Spiderman; Star Wars; Under the Silver Lake; Where’d You Go Bernadette; Zombieland 2

[idolshineitai]

hi ian!!! 💭🌟🎤👤🎶

HI HI HI THANK YOUUU im happy ^_^ also huh ian sounds weird !!! i havent used that name in a long while but i liked being called “ian” short for “lillian” bc >:) weird n unexpected n Boy . ANYWAY YAY OK please don’t read all of this out of obligation >_<

bang dream! girls ask party!

💭 dream cards? WOO OK there r two moca ones which is funny but i’ve actually got them both!! THE OTHER TWO ……. heterochromic demon ako from the same set & RINKAORU!! the colors r so pretty

🌟 favorite card you own? OOH GOSH I GUESS MY DREAMIES ^_^ MAYBE ALSO YELLOW ROSE HAGU <3 yellow roses r my favorite .. & gay yukiran drama (Thats the main card i use in my band !!! I LOVE YUKINAS PURPLE STREAK MWA) & COMFY EVE SHES SO PRETTY i love her outfit & the warmth & then Tomoe my WIFE !! SHES SOCUTE PRECIOUS >:)

🎤 favorite band, character-wise? ROSELIA FOR SURE!!!!!!!! One of the very first conversations i ever read was of rinko telling ako she’d sew angel wings onto ako’s clothes next year & i just…. ahh their friendship. Its literally The sweetest they met over an online game that i wish existed irl (CAPITALIZE ON THIS!!!) & then they met up & THEYVE ACTUALLY ROPED THEIR BANDMATES INTO PLAYING TOO — Sayos rlly into it even on her own time & Lisa & Yukina play when the others play :) — ITS SOOO SWEET I ADORED THAT EVENT TO PIECES i actually got my very first event title then (SO HAPPY) bc i was so adamant abt getting the rinko but i didnt :(

Lisa & yukina the Intricacies. Ako lil sib to everyone!!!!!! LISA BIG SIS TO EVERYONE except maybe the other big sis characters shes bonded w ……LISA CUTTING OFF HER NAILS (THAT MEAN SM TO HER) AT THE FIRST SIGHT OF GETTING TO PLAY MUSIC W YUKINA AGAIN Do you understand do you Get Ittt. AAHH!! RINKO mental illness & etc. I have a hc abt her legs being fucky (which is the medical term /j) which contributes to her fear of crowds (on top of Having Anxiety, her aids r harder to use & there r more ppl to b rude) & her preference to stay inside doing more low-energy things like her vidya games ♡ BUT Ako pushes her to experience more things, lovingly, & understands her ALSO THE WAY AKO TALKS.. HUGGY HUG….she loves to sound cool but sometimes doesnt have the vocab & ….!! <3

Sayo i think has a crush on yukilisa tbh. Also its hard to mention her w/o mentioning her twin which feels like a disservice to her on my part BUT its a big part of her story especially at first !!! Fffwwwwh….they dont get along well & sayo feels cramped & not good enough Bc hina does everything sayo does but EFFORTLESSLY better (also while being not at all a serious person, whereas sayo Is) but hina is doing these things bc she looks up to sayo & they just. Clash a lot for a long while. But theyre better now !!!!! & ahhhhh the hina&sayo storyline where hina asks sayo if she remembers why she (sayo) dislikes carrots & sayo says No & hina reminds her it’s bc sayo always ate hinas carrots for her when they were kids bc hina didn’t like carrots, but then Sayo couldnt finish her OWN carrots & would get in trouble w their parents. For her. dies.. also canonically their hair color (idk how to describe it, ppl call them “tealettes” lol????? it could b a pale teal i Guess) is natural while sayo cracks down on dyed hair (against dress code) it’s really funny

👤 favorite character? I HAVE SO MANY *SWEATS* BUT!! Rinko was the first i got attached to .. . & kaoru has a special place in my heart <3 i can ramble about her for a really long time & i have done so & i feel as if nobody gets her like me — i could definitely be taking her too seriously but it’s canonical that her persona is just that, a persona (IM GONNA YELL ABT THE HAIKU COMIC FOREVERRR FYI JSYK), & sometimes she does want to be Really Known & . ilh ilh ilh ♡

🎶 favorite song from each band? YES YES YES OK This might be harder than i thought o_0

afterglow - on your mark

hello, happy world! - goka! gokai!? phantom thief!

morfonica - flame of hope

pastel*palettes - wonderland girl

poppin’party - (THIS ONE WAS SO HARD THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD ONES!!!!! But) tokimeki experience!

raise a suilen - hell! or hell? (← first song i remember hearing & first one i fell in love with & I LOVE IT SOOO MUCH.. i don’t know the jpdori to endori timeline but i hope it gets to en soon!)

roselia - (…) louder & neo-aspect (…sorry)

[onebourbon-oneshot-onetear]

Aquatica

Chapter 9- Christmas Eve

I do not own D.C Comics, and I only own my OC and my versions of the plots.

Christmas used to be my favorite time of year. When I was really young I always loved coming home after school, backpack full of Christmas crafts that I had made during recess. Mom used to hang them up all over the house, saying that they made our house feel like home. My sister never really got into the Christmas spirit like I did. I always helped my mom decorate the house and made sure that cookies were made, a tree was decorated, and everything was ready for when Santa came. My sister helped a little, but she was never as enthusiastic as I was. My dad used to call me his little Christmas elf, because I helped so much with everything.

After they died, I couldn't find it in me to celebrate it anymore. The warmth that the holiday used to fill me with was replaced with a chill that I couldn't make go away. I usually spent Christmas with a different foster family, and was never the same as being with my actual family. Seeing all the warm lights that decorated people's houses reminded me that my parent's house now had a different family in it, and it probably looked completely different. The smell of cookies baking gave me flashbacks of my mom and I in the kitchen, and it always made me sad. The entire holiday season just reminded me of how alone I was. That's how, on this Christmas Eve, I found myself wandering around the empty streets of Gotham.

At first I was sitting in my apartment reading, but I couldn't focus on the words. My mind was wandering to a past that I didn't want to remember. I decided to bundle myself up and go for a walk. Sure, it was freezing, but because of my powers the cold didn't bother me as much as it did other people. I put my dark blue pea coat over my tan sweater, threw on a pair of low heeled boots, and headed outside.

I wasn't really paying that much attention to where I was going, and soon I found myself in one of the sketchier parts of downtown. Even some of the run down houses had a few Christmas lights up. I ignored them and kept walking. I stopped at a corner and looked across the street and noticed a small bar that was open.

It may not have been the most responsible decision, but I decided that I might as well try and drown some of my sorrows in alcohol. I walked into the bar and let the heat wash over me, a nice contrast to the freezing cold that was outside. I shrugged my jacket off and hung it up on a hook by the door. Scanning the bar I realized that it was mostly empty, the only exception being a few people sitting at a table in the corner, and a broad shouldered, dark haired man sitting at the bar.

I made my way over to the bar and sat on a stool a few seats down from the dark haired man, not really caring enough to spare him a glance. The bartender walked over and asked what I wanted. "Bourbon on the rocks, please," I replied, running my hand through my wavy hair.

"Bad day?" he asked.

"Something like that," I said.

He put the glass of ice in front of me and poured the bourbon in. "Thanks," I said, raising the glass up in a small toast. I took a sip of the brown liquid and shivered a bit as it burned going down.

"I didn't take you for a bourbon kind of girl."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I turned, about to tell this guy that he didn't know a thing about me, when I finally noticed the familiar black hair and really strong jaw line. "Bruce?" I asked, my jaw falling open in shock.

Bruce Wayne chuckled and sent me a smirk. "Hello Evie," He said, holding up his own glass of brown liquid.

"W-what are you doing here?" I stuttered still in complete shock that of all places in Gotham on Christmas Eve, Bruce Wayne would be sitting next to me in some crappy bar.

He stood up from his barstool and walked over next to mine. "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Um, no. Of course not," I said, pulling the stool out for him.

"Thanks," He said sending a small smirk my way. He sat down and downed the rest of his glass. "I think the question here is, what are you doing here on Christmas Eve?"

I could see that he was avoiding the question and I sent him a smirk of my own. "I believe that I asked you first."

He chuckled, and shook his head. "Yes. Yes you did." The bartender came over and refilled his glass. Bruce swirled the brown liquid around in his glass and stared down at the counter. "The holidays aren't necessarily my favorite time of year," he said quietly. The atmosphere between us suddenly seemed a lot sadder. I felt a little guilty asking him about it. Everyone knew that Bruce's parents were killed when he was younger. He was probably here for the same reason I was.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I said, taking another sip of my drink. He glanced up at me, his brows were furrowed and I knew he was silently asking what I meant. I took a deep breath and blew the air through my nose. "My parents and sister died when I was twelve. We were in a car accident. Christmas isn't easy for me either."

Bruce was silent for a minute. "I'm sorry," he finally said. I couldn't help but snort into my glass.

"I should probably apologize too. I shouldn't have pushed the subject for you either." I looked up at him to see a small smile on his face.

"It's fine. It isn't like you don't know my history anyway. Everyone does. I figured you would since you grew up in Gotham." He must have seen my face fall because his eyes widened and he quickly said, "Don't worry, it's okay. I've had a long time to get used to it."

I relaxed a bit, relieved that I wasn't offending him any. I thought about how he knew that I was from Gotham. I took another sip of my drink and figured that I had mentioned it the last time that we had met.

I decided to change the subject away from our dead families. "Okay, I can understand wanting a drink, but that doesn't explain why you are in a crappy place like this. You could afford anywhere in Gotham, and I'm sure there are other places open that are much better than this."

Bruce merely shrugged. "I know the owner. He keeps the photographers away and in return I get him some of the good stuff," He said, holding up his glass.

"Hm, that's pretty smart."

Bruce smirked again, "Yeah, I have my moments." We sat in silence for a few moments before the clock in the corner of the room chimed 11. I hadn't realized just how late it was.

"Well, I should probably go," I said, setting my money on the counter and standing up. "Who knows when I'll need to be up tomorrow."

Bruce stood up and put a fifty dollar bill on the counter. "Here, let me walk you home."

"You don't have to. It's only a twenty minute walk. Besides, I'm a superhero. I don't think there is anything here that I can't handle," I joked. Bruce shrugged his jacket on and gave me a look that said he wasn't going to let me go alone. "Alright, whatever."

After putting on my coat, we walked out of the bar and headed in the direction of my apartment. "I meant to ask you something," I said.

"Go ahead."

"Do you remember when we first met? At the bookstore?" I asked, looking up at him.

He chuckled, "Yes, you ran into me and then fell."

I felt my cheeks go red and I cleared my throat. "Yeah, anyway. You started calling me Evie that day, but I never told you that I went by that. I only told you my name was Evelyn."

He faltered in his steps for a second and sent me a wide eyed glance. He cleared his throat and looked up the street. "Oh, well, I guess I just heard it from somewhere. That's all."

I quirked an eyebrow, not quite believing the billionaire walking next to me. "Mhmm, sure…"

Bruce looked over at me, "I swear!" I studied his super handsome face for a few seconds before deciding to drop the conversation. If he didn't want to tell me than I certainly wasn't going to be able to make him.

I thought of both instances where Bruce and I had been together. He seemed to have popped up out of nowhere and he has quite a good bit of knowledge about me. I remembered the night that Batman had put me to bed in the Watchtower. At the time I had thought that the two men had been similar, though I believed it was due to the concussion I had that I made that connection. Now, after spending enough time with both of them I could see even more similarities.

No way, Bats isn't Bruce Wayne, I thought. I mean, Bruce is a loaded billionaire, and Bats is a superhero…who probably needs a lot of money for his equipment…and their smirks are similar…and Bruce does know a lot about me…

"You know, I have a friend that reminds me of you," I said, shoving my hands in my pockets, figuring that I would see if I could get a reaction out of Bruce. "He likes to answer questions with other questions, he is always soo mysterious, and you two have quite a similar smirk."

Bruce completely stopped walking this time and he turned to look at me. "Really? Does this friend have a name?"

"I'm sure he does, but I don't actually know it. I only know his, well, I guess you could call it a nickname," I said, looking up at his really dark eyes. Something seemed to flash in them, but it quickly disappeared.

"Well, if he's like me then he must be a really great guy," Bruce said, giving me another of his famous smirks.

I hesitated before smiling and nodding. "Yeah, he really is." We walked in silence for a few more minutes and I tried sorting my thoughts. Okay, look Evelyn. Just because both men have similar characteristics does not mean that they are the same person. And if they are the same person then they will tell you when they want to, so stop being a bother.

I shook myself out of my thoughts when I noticed we were at my building. "Oh, we're here," I said as I stopped walking. Bruce seemed to have come out of his thoughts as well, because he looked a bit startled.

"Oh, so we are. Well, I guess this is goodnight," He said, stopping in front of the steps of my building.

"I guess it is," I replied as I turned around on the first step. Now I was at the same height as Bruce. "Thanks for walking me home," I quietly said while tucking some of my hair behind my ear. I could feel a heat creeping up on my cheeks and I bashfully looked down at my boots.

Before I could react I felt something soft on my cheek, and I realized that Bruce had leaned over and gave me a quick peck on it. "Merry Christmas, Evie." He said, stepping off my stairs and onto the sidewalk.

My blush felt like it was on fire as I tried to fight the giant grin that was making my way onto my face. "Merry Christmas, Bruce." I said. He started walking away when I called out to him. "Are you okay walking by yourself?"

He let out an actual laugh this time and turned around. "Don't worry, I think I'll be fine." I let out a quiet laugh and gave him a small wave, which he returned. I turned around and went into my building, up the stairs, and unlocked my front door. I made my way through the dark room and changed into my pajamas. Then I climbed into bed, and laid awake for a few hours, thinking about what I thought I had found out; Bruce Wayne could be Batman.