#sam i great i like sam but he suffers from 'i can fix him(america)' syndrome

[ithacanradio]

captain america movies/shows are like "on your left" and then support the u.s. military's foreign intervention and fascist politics. baby on whose left 😭

[terriblygrimm]

guys this article is FANTASTIC. talks brilliantly about everything that was mismanaged w bucky’s character and how they tried to rewrite him in tfatws.

some great bits:

“By and large this discussion focusses on his queer coding, ie that whether a deliberate call by the creators or not, it was reasonable to interpret his devotion to his best friend Steve as romantic. [.........] This is an incredibly rich storytelling stew, and maybe too rich for some. Because The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, while ostensibly offering a deep dive into two previously underserved characters, isn’t just uninterested in exploring any of this, it seems actively embarrassed by how much previous stories have unmanned Bucky, and seeks to reconstruct viewers’ sense of the character and mangle the reality of how trauma plays itself out in order to get around it. Again and again, the writing inadvertently replays toxic and inflexible masculine attitudes to weakness and emotional suffering and packages them as wisdom.”

“In fact there’s a strange emotional distancing from Bucky’s own anguish all the time. His experiences are described only in vague, indirect terms — “that time wasn’t exactly a picnic”, “you’ve been through a lot”, “the hell you’re in”. People tell him off when it comes up or jokingly call him a psychopath. In the one scene where he is offered unconditional support, Wakandan soldier Ayo (Florence Kasumba) recites the ‘trigger words’ used to control his mind, to prove he is now free of their power, then stands as a soldier to attention while he cries alone. This was likely a filmmaking decision — those are great looking shots, but it also implies an unbreachable masculine divide. To offer Bucky physical comfort would be to deny him his right as a man to get a hold of himself. And that’s Bucky’s arc all season: get a hold of yourself.”

“Leaning into the idea that Bucky’s job as a traumatised former slave is to atone for his enslaver’s crimes for some reason, he talks to Sam in episode 5 about why stopping the people Hydra enabled doesn’t seem to be making him feel better. Some have praised the exchange between Sam and Bucky as a golden example of men supporting other men and talking about their feelings:

“You were stopping all the wrongdoers you enabled as the Winter Soldier, because you thought it would bring you closure. You go to these people and say ‘sorry’, because you think it will make you feel better, right? But you gotta make them feel better. You gotta go to them and be of service.”

Yet the core message from Sam’s tough love, however kindly delivered, was “man up and take responsibility”. Far from being an example of men healthily discussing emotions, this is a fairly typically macho rejection of any suggestion of fragility or ambivalence. (He also talks about the ineffectiveness of Bucky telling people he’s sorry, seconds after mentioning he was doing the exact opposite, so the incoherence of this speech really has layers.) These might be the kind of well-meaning observations that a real male friend would make, but coming from the mouth of the next Captain America, we are also asked to take them as unimpeachably correct.”

“I have to ask, because when I’ve suggested to people this advice was, well, bad, it hasn’t gone down well: does it really seem a good idea for Bucky, an emotionally unstable man in the midst of an identity crisis, to go off on his own and talk to the loved ones of Hydra’s victims, who he was forced to murder, given the last time someone found out about this (ie Tony Stark) they tried to kill him? [....] The writers clearly didn’t buy any of this either, since they were so unable to authentically write a scene between Bucky and Yori (Ken Takemoto), the father of a man he murdered, that wouldn’t go disastrously wrong they cut it short after about three lines rather than suggest Sam might have oversimplified the problem. But, they needed their vehicle to get Bucky to his smiley happy ending, so the scene had to stay in. He declares at the end of it “I didn’t have a choice” and it‘s possible this was intended to sound like a breakthrough, but as a character beat it’s rather hollow, given that in six hours we’ve seen no depiction of him coming to this realisation.”

“In that certainty is another strikingly masculine point of view, as encapsulated in the physical object of Bucky’s list. In The Falcon and the Winter Soldier’s universe, the brain is a leaky pipe you can permanently fix if you just apply pressure in the right place, going down a checklist and ticking off the tasks. Not cured yet? Guess you’re just using the wrong list. This mechanical attitude to human psychology and growth is not only macho, it’s pretty convenient [....]”

and lastly, how this whole show felt disjointed and awkward w sam & bucky being paired up

“This all speaks to another fundamental problem, possibly the root of why this was all so hamfisted — the buddy element of the show hasn’t actually justified itself. I don’t question the actors’ chemistry, and loved the boat scenes, but that isn’t enough to carry a story. One of the big muddles is that Sam and Bucky aren’t just different people: it’s that their goals aren’t aligned, they don’t exist in the same universe, so their journeys are just taking up each other’s space. Really delving into much of this could have completely overwhelmed Sam’s story, and something had to give.”

[ironxkid]

why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff 

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang? 

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, “oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know? 

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!! 

[hydra-holiday-trash-party]

Hydra Holiday Trash Party 2019 Gift Exchange Masterpost

We’re swimming in fresh, hot trash my friends, and you’re the ones who made it possible. Thank you, darling dumpster denizens, for your tags, tropes, and titillation.

Please enjoy the lovely feast of garbage that has been laid out before you, and we’ll see you for more trash in 2020!

“[Art] View of Bondage” by Sealcat for ladivvinatravestia (chose not to use archive warnings) Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Hydra Trash Party, Bondage, Rope Bondage

What Steve found out at this mystery room in a Hydra Facility

“before you wake” by Hydra_Trash_Gal for MercurialTenacity (rape/non-con) Jack Rollins/Brock Rumlow, Bucky Barnes/Jack Rollins, Dehumanization, Hydra Trash Party, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Somnophilia, Nipple Play

Jack has a complicated fetish and Brock wants to watch. The Asset sleeps through it.

“Broken Toys” by Juane_Chat for Defiler_Wyrm (rape/non-con) Bucky Barnes/Grant Ward, Alexander Pierce, Hydra Trash Party, Bondage and Discipline, Object Insertion, Dehumanization, Identity Issues

Alexander Pierce calls in Grant Ward to correct a listless Asset, a mission neither of them dares to fail.

“Control” by Mercurial Tenacity for Aquariusgarbag (chose not to use archive warnings) Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Hydra Trash Party, past trauma, obedience, under-negotiated kink, domme Natasha, Sub Bucky Barnes, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Face Slapping, Cunnilingus, Panic Attacks, Hopeful Ending, Injury, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery

“Cap needs backup,” Bucky says, trying to shrug Natasha off. “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll really appreciate it when you bleed out on the floor.” Bucky gives her a look, to which Natasha just raises her eyebrows. “I’ll hold you down if I have to.” It’s unfortunate that Bucky is still looking at Natasha when she says that, because it means she undoubtedly sees every microexpression he makes on his journey from yes, to can’t want that, to pretend it never happened. That’s the trouble with spies. Can’t hide a damn thing.

“Fit to be tied” by buckybleeds for buckys_barn (no archive warnings apply) Jack Rollins/Brock Rumlow, Bucky Barnes, Hydra Trash Party, Hydra Husbands, Shibari, Overstimulation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Cock & Ball Torture, Bondage, accidental crafting genius bucky barnes

Bored on a mission STRIKE Alpha decides to test the limits of the Winter Soldier’s skills. Turns out he could totally be an IG influencer if he were into that kind of thing. Thankfully he can also help Jack and Brock with the kind of thing that they’re into.

“Follow Me Down (into darkest deep)” by emptydistractions for Juane_Chat (graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con) Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes/OMC(s), Brock Rumlow, Hydra Agents, Hydra Trash Party, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Creepy Brock Rumlow, Gang Rape, Face-Fucking, Face Slapping, Forced Orgasm

It was supposed to be quick - just in and out to see if they could find anything salvageable. The base was supposed to be abandoned. Hydra was supposed to be gone. Rumlow was supposed to be dead. But you know what they say about the best laid plans.

“geological time” by seinmit for glorious_spoon (rape/non-con) Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Fuck Or Die, Top Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Hydra Trash Part, Shock Collar, Raped during rape recovery, Past Brainwashing, Past Rape/Non-Con, Trying to Comfort One Another, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Some Victim-Blaming/Self-Blame on Bucky’s Part, Bad Guys Made Them Do It, Unaroused Victim

“They would grow up grappling with ways of living with what happened. They would try to tell themselves that in terms of geological time it was an insignificant event. Just a blink of the Earth Woman’s eye. That Worse Things had happened. That Worse Things kept happening. But they would find no comfort in the thought.” - Arundhati Roy, from The God of Small things

Bucky knows that HYDRA doesn’t need a reason to make Steve rape him.

“Growth Opportunity” by buckybleeds for BookofOdym (graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con) Hank Pym/Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow/Cynthia Mercer, Full Rectal Prolapse, Macro/Micro, Size Diference, Guro, Blood and Gore, Vomiting, Rape, Sex Pollen, Hydra Trash party, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Might actually be worse than the tags, Read at your own risk, Proceed with Caution, Hurt Steve Rogers

Steve Rogers and Hank Pym get trapped in a box full of sex pollen that makes their sizes go haywire: The Musical

“Happiness in Slavery” by HaniTrash for theletterelle (rape/non-con) Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes/Brock Rumlow, Alexander Pierce, Jack Rollins, Hydra Trash Party, Rape/Non-con Elements, Restraints, Hurt No Comfort, No Happy Ending, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Hydra sex dungeon? Yes please!

Steve is captured while on a mission and wakes up in a very uncomfortable position, surrounded by some very familiar people. Apparently HYDRA knows it can’t break his body, so they set out to break his spirit instead. And as it turns out, even the great Captain American can be broken.

“an honest liar, taking on heavy fire” by dragongirlG for BrighteyedJill (rape/noncon) Hydra Agents/Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Brock Rumlow, Isaac Murphy, Natasha Romanov, Hydra Trash Party, One Bar  Prison, Come Shot, Sex Games, Predicament Bondage, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Touching, Hand Jobs, Overstimulation, Humiliation, Dehumanization, Collars, Leashes, Aphrodisiacs, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Identity Porn, Bittersweet Ending

Steve is captured by the HYDRA STRIKE team after the fight on the highway in DC. He wakes up trapped on a one bar  prison, forced to participate in a come-shooting game that he never agreed to play. The Winter Soldier wins Steve as his prize, putting on a show of fucking him before unexpectedly helping him escape.

“a hymn called faith and misery” by glorious_spoon for TiaNaut (graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con) Scott Lang/OMC(s), Scott Lang & Steve Rogers, Torture, De-Serumed Steve Rogers, Restraints, Escape, Hydra Trash Party, Whump, Concussions, Hopeful Ending

Scott wakes up chained to a wall in an underground cell, and it only goes downhill from there.

“Imprints” by buckybleeds for ladivvinatravestia (rape/noncon) Bucky Barnes/Brock Rumlow, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Hydra Trash Party, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Spanking, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering

When Bucky’s programming is triggered while raiding an abandoned HYDRA base Steve learns about how the soldier was bonded to his new handlers.

“in his limbs and joints also” by Aquariusgarbag for thefilthiestpiglet (creator chose not to use archive warnings) Bucky Barnes/Sam WIlson, Bondage, Leash, Hydra Trash Party

Sam and Bucky in Wakanda and after

“Mr. Self Destruct” by Defiler_Wyrm for seinmit (rape/non-con), Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes/OMC(s), Bucky Barnes/Hydra Agents, Sex Addiction, Unsafe Sex, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Comeplay, Facials, Fucking Machines, Fisting, Large Cock, PTSD, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Top Steve Rogers, Gangbang, Gang Rape, Flashbacks, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, Memory Loss, Communication Failure, M/M/M, M/M/Other (the other is a fucking machine), Sexual Fantasy, Hypothetical Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes, Clubbing, Rape Aftermath, References to Drugs, Steve Rogers has a Great Big Dick, Hydra Trash Party, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Aftercare

He’s not sure if HYDRA put this hunger in him, or if he’s always been like this, but the Winter Soldier (mission alias: James “Bucky” Barnes) has a need he must fulfill - whether it be in the back room of a club or in his room with a marvelous Machine - in spite of the terrible memories that tend to take over in the moment. He’d really prefer it if his handler Captain Rogers, would step up to the plate to feed him...and given the chance, “Bucky” will do anything he can to have it that way. Or: Bucky is addicted to dick but often suffers flashback when getting his fix; strangers, Tony, and Steve all help out in different ways.

“No One Could Save Me But You” by Anonymous for HaniTrash (rape/non-con) Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes/Brock Rumlow, Steve Rogers/Brock Rumlow, Hydra Trash Party, Hurt No Comfort, No Magical Healing Cock, Knife Play, Bucky Barnes’s Metal Arm, Depersonalization, Self-Esteem Issues, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, No Happy Ending, Additional Warnings in Author’sNote

Brock Rumlow is delighted to be able to see Steve and Bucky reunited.

“Objects Contain the Possibility of All Situations” by BrighteyedJill for buckybleeds (graphic depictions of violence, rape/noncon) Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Improvised Bondage, Bottom Steve Rogers, Triggers, Conditioning, Blood As Lube, Hurt No Comfort, Hydra Trash Party

When a trigger phrase gives the Asset explicit orders to violate Captain America, what the Asset does and what’s been done to him begin to blur.

“On the Ropes” by buckybleeds for The_Reverend (graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con) Hydra Agents/Steve Rogers, Alexander Pierce/Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier/Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow, Jack Rollins, Hydra Trash Party, Bondage, Non-Consensual Bondage, Predicament Bondage, Gags, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, HTP is its own warning, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Hurt Steve Rogers, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Branding, Chastity Device

Steve never made it out after the fight on the bridge and Pierce decided to work out some frustration in a team-building exercise. (much horribleness follows)

“Only Pain - An Artwork” by Lasenby_Heathcote for emptydistractions (rape/non-con) Bucky Barnes, Art, Hydra Trash Party, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Face-Fucking, Blood, Torture, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Bucky suffers at the hands of HYDRA ~ an artwork

“Out on a Limb” by thefilthiestpiglet for Sealcat (rape/non-con, graphic depictions of violence) Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark, fuckpotato, Hydra Trash Party, I looked at the field and said ‘we need some Steve fuckpotato’, Rape/Non-con elements, hydra holiday trash party, hydra fucks steve nonconsensually, steve fucks bucky consensually, it’s mostly a recovery fic

Steve is missing and Bucky may be a half-recovered former weapon of HYDRA, but he is going to do whatever it takes to get Steve back in one piece. He doesn’t quite manage that last part, but Steve’s not letting that stop him, so why should Bucky?

“Self Calibration” by The_Reverend for teejcandraw (rape/non-con) Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow, Alexander Pierce, Hydra Agents, Sam Wilson, Dubious Consent, Gaslighting, Self-Gaslighting, Hydra Trash party

The asset needs a handler. It’s not torture if you do it to yourself, right?

“So Search and Destroy” by the letterelle for AgentMal (rape/non-con, graphic depictions of violence) Bucky Barnes/Phil Coulson, Nick Fury, Melinda May, Jemma Simmons, Interrogation, Psychological Torture, Nonconsensual Fondling, Nasogastric Feeding, Suicidal Thoughts, Hydra Trash Party, (actually more of a SHIELD Trash Party this time), Face Slapping

Bucky Barnes joined up with HYDRA, betraying his country and his Captain. Phil Coulson is going to make him pay.

“used-up” by Anonymous for dragongirlG (rape/non-con) Steve Rogers, Fanart, Bondage, Gags, Crying, Creampie, Rape Aftermath

“we are not born for ourselves alone” by teejcadraw for Lasenby_Heathcote (graphic depictions of violence) Bucky Barnes/Brock Rumlow, Steve Rogers/Brock Rumlow, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied Sexual Content, Gaslighting, Hurt/Comfort, Scarification Dubious Consent, Hydra Trash Party, htp is its own warning, recreational stun baton use

Steve and Bucky both have memories they’d rather leave behind. Rumlow made sure at least one would be permanently ingrained.

“What We Give You” by AgentMal for Hydra_Trash_Gal (creator chose not to use archive warnings) Jack Rollins/Brock Rumlow, Bucky Barnes, Hydra Trash Party

Rumlow and Rollins have a little fun with the asset after a mission.

And that’s all, Folks! 24 wonderful works to sustain you for a while!

You can see the full collection Here, and please follow us on Tumblr for announcements about any future Exchanges!

[ceealaina]

Title: America’s Ass[Hole] Collaborator Name: ceealaina Link: AO3 Square Filled: C5 - Retirement Ship: Bucky/Steve, Bucky/Steve/Sam  Rating: Teen Major Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops and Cafes Summary: Steve and Bucky have been together for years -- and they've been crushing on Sam for nearly as long. Turns out all they needed to seduce him were some inappropriate comments about doughnuts, an asshole customer, and one of Steve's famous 'Captain America' tirades. Word Count: 1854

Bucky looked up as the bell dinged over the door, a lazy smirk crossing his lips at the two figures elbowing each other on their way through the door. “Well,” he purred, leaning forward across the counter in the most seductive way possible -- not easy when he was wearing a hot pink frilly apron -- and waggling his eyebrows at the two of them. “If it isn’t my two favourite Captains America.” 

Steve rolled his eyes, but Sam gave him a pointed look. “There’s flour on your nose.” 

“You’ve gotta let that nickname go,” Steve grumbled as Bucky made a face at Sam. There was a slight flush on the top of Steve’s cheeks and Bucky preened a little, because oh yeah, fifteen years later and he could still make his boyfriend blush (the fact that Steve blushed as easily as he breathed was neither here nor there). 

“Hey, it’s not everyday that your boyfriend gets picked to be the PR face of the good ol’ US of Army,” he pointed out, going a little cross-eyed as he tried to see the tip of his nose to rub the flour off.

Steve huffed, but Bucky could see the small smile fighting its way onto his lips. “That’s not even me anymore.”

“Hence the Captains, Stevie,” he told him, giving Sam a wink. “I’m not gonna forget about Captain Handsome here. Try and keep up.” 

Sam rolled his eyes, though neither Bucky and Steve missed the little nose wrinkle that he always did when he was feeling flustered. “You two are gross,” he informed them. “It’s been like a hundred years. Aren’t you sick of each other’s ugly faces?” 

“Constantly,” Steve agreed easily, grinning look Bucky gave him. “Can’t stand the sight of him.” He shrugged helplessly, grin turning soppy. “But what can I do, I’m in love with him anyway.” 

“Gross,” Sam confirmed. “I’m gonna grab a table. Call me when you’re done flirting and being all smitten with each other.” 

In unison, Bucky and Steve both turned to watch him go, Bucky leaning forward over the counter to get a better look. “Hey, Sam!” he called, grinning when Sam’s steps faltered slightly but he didn’t turn around. “Hate to watch you go, but I love to watch you leave,” he drawled. Both Sam’s hands came up, flipping him the bird over his shoulder, and Bucky laughed. 

“Buck,” Steve hissed when Sam had settled into a seat. “Come on, you’re gonna scare him off.” 

Bucky just snorted. “Hate to break it to you, pal, but if we haven’t scared him off yet, we’re not gonna.” He waved his metal arm at Steve. “He stuck around when I lost my arm, and had to get out of the army. Remember? I didn’t shower for like a month, don’t know how anyone besides you could stand to be near me. But Sam? He stuck around. Dragged me out of bed and outside, and I know he took you drinking when you didn’t know what to do with me anymore. And!” He gestured around the bakery. “Who was the one to back me up when I had the ridiculous idea to open up a bakery for both people and their dogs, despite having no professional training whatsoever? Sam.” 

“This place is great!” Steve insisted. “Giving people a chance to share a treat with their service dogs? That’s brilliant, Buck.” He was just a little too earnest though, and Bucky fixed him with a look. 

“You thought I was crazy, Stevie. Sam was the one who convinced you to let me give it a try. It might not be quite the way we want yet, but he’s been a part of our relationship almost as long as we’ve been together. He’s not going anywhere.” 

Steve made a face at him. “When the hell’d you get so smart?” 

“I’ve always been smarter than you, punk. You were just too dumb to notice.” 

Steve huffed at that, but he was obviously fighting back a smile. “Still,” he protested. “I thought we agreed we were gonna take it slow.”

“This is slow!” Bucky insisted. “If I don’t flirt inappropriately, he’s gonna know something’s up.” 

“Hey!” Sam shouted, interrupting them both and making Steve jump. He looked up from the table in the corner where he was scrolling idly through his phone, giving them a grin. “Are you two gonna stand there canoodling all day, or can I get a goddamn doughnut over here?” 

“Yeah, yeah!” Steve waved him off as the bell rang over the door, another customer coming in. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Oh!” Bucky’s face lit up. “I almost forgot, got a new doughnut for you idjits to try. Hang on a sec.” He darted out back and into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a tray of chocolate doughnuts, all covered in red, white, and blue sprinkles. “Ta-Da!” he proclaimed. 

Steve gave a long-suffering sigh, although he was grinning too. “You’re a jerk,” he told him, shaking his head at the tray. “I can’t believe I’m dating you sometimes.” 

Bucky just grinned even wider. “Wanna know what I’m gonna call them?” 

“I really don’t think that I do.” 

Bucky giggled a little. “Cap’s Asshole!” 

Steve nodded, eyes going skyward. “Of course you are.” 

“Get it? Because everyone wants to eat it!”

“Yeah, no, I got it the first time.” Steve started to say something else, but before he could, he was interrupted by the customer who had walked in behind him. 

“That’s fucking gross, man. What, are you gay or something?” 

Bucky shared a look with Steve, arching his eyebrows and not even trying to hide his smile as he peered around him to take in the new customer. “Uhhh, yeah,” he acknowledged easily. “Well, bi, technically. But, like, super bi.” 

The customer, it seemed, didn’t quite know how to take this. He’d apparently been expecting Bucky to be offended at being called gay (even though he’d just been talking about rimming Captain America’s asshole, for fuck’s sake) and he shifted awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable with his easy admission of his sexuality. His mouth opened and closed a few times. 

“It’s still gross,” he muttered. 

Steve didn’t try to hide the laugh that slipped out. 

“And anyway!” he added, more triumphant now that he thought he had a point. “It can’t be Captain America. It’s a chocolate doughnut.” 

Bucky stared back at him blankly. “And…?” 

“And Captain America’s white, dumbass. He’s not fucking black.” 

He said ‘black’ like he meant something else and Bucky’s eyes went wide. But before he could say anything -- probably kick the guy out -- Steve was whirling around.

“Excuse the fuck outta me?” He stepped in close and the customer’s eyes went wide, both at the sheer size of Steve and at being met with Captain America in person. “I don’t know if you noticed, dumbass, but I’m not Captain America anymore, he is.” 

He pointed across the room at Sam, who was looking a little startled at being called out like that. Sam’s gaze shifted over to Bucky, who gave him a quick, reassuring wink. 

“And he’s already ten times the Captain America I’ve ever been. So we don’t need your fucking mansplaining ass coming in here telling us that like the colour of his skin makes one ounce of difference to the kind of man he is.”

“Jesus, alright,” the customer muttered, eyeing the doorway a little desperately. “What is he, your boyfriend or something?” 

“Nope.” Steve popped the p. “That one isn’t my boyfriend, but that one is.” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Bucky. “Although, we’re taking applications for, uh… joint chief of staff. And you’re probably too straight to even know what I mean. But if Bucky wants to rim Sam to kingdom come, he’s more than welcome to.” 

He stopped then, seeming to realize what he’d said, and the customer took advantage of the break in his tirade to make a run for the door. Steve slumped back against the counter, cutting eyes briefly over to Sam. 

“Did I just say that outloud?” he asked, answering his own question before anyone else could. “Oh god, I did.” 

He groaned, burying his face in his hands, and Bucky gave his back a couple comforting pats before chancing a look over at Sam who… Didn’t look upset. He was leaning back in his chair, arms folded across his chest, a small smile playing over his lips. 

“Joint chief of staff, huh?” he asked. Steve peeked at him from between his fingers, and Bucky held his breath. “Not your best metaphor, Rogers. Still…” He got to his feet, sauntering over to the two of them. “I am a huge fan of the way you defended my honour there. Not that I need it, mind you, but still. It’s kind of hot.” 

Steve’s arms dropped heavily to his sides and he swallowed hard. “Is that… Is that a yes? Cause Buck and I…” He glanced back at Bucky, who was leaning forward against the counter, positively beaming. “We’ve talked about it, a lot. We, uh…” He ducked his head a little. “We were trying to figure out how to ask you out.” 

“Not for a threesome!” Bucky added quickly before making a show of looking Sam up and down, ogling and waggling his eyebrows. “Well, not just for a threesome. We want that too, obviously, but we also just want… All of you.” 

Sam was still smirking, but his nose was wrinkling again and he couldn’t keep his eyes from going all soft and pleased. “I know,” he told them. “You two are about as subtle as an infomercial.” He glanced behind him. “You know that table is only like a foot away, right? I was just waiting to see which one of you broke first.” 

Bucky snorted, shaking his head. “You’re such an asshole,” he declared, sounding thrilled about it. Sam just shrugged. 

“Doesn’t that mean I’m gonna fit right in with you two?” he offered. 

And then, while they were still absorbing that, he leaned in, curled his hands around Steve’s neck, and pulled him down for a slow, lingering kiss. Steve made a startled noise, eyes wide, before he sighed and sank into it, hands moving to squeeze at Sam’s hips. Bucky just watched the two of them, his mouth hanging open as he grabbed at the counter for support. 

“Holy shit,” he drawled. 

At the sound of his voice, Sam pulled away from Steve, ignoring his whine of protest, and leaned over the counter to give Bucky an equally mind melting kiss, grinning against his lips when Bucky groaned loudly. 

“So listen,” Sam said. “You’re the boss. Any chance of closing early today so we can get the fuck outta here?” 

“Yup!” Steve decided, even though it wasn’t his bakery, but Bucky was nodding too. 

“Sure thing, handsome,” he promised, just as the bell rang over the door again. “Sorry, we’re closed!” he hollered, not bothering to look away from Sam and Steve. A wicked smile crossed his lips. “I gotta eat Cap’s Asshole!” 

@buckybarnesbingo

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (17)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

MASTERLIST

Chapter Seventeen - Puzzle Pieces 

There was a steady drumbeat that woke you, you tried to open your eyes to tell whoever it was to knock it off but it was too bright and you quickly squeezed your eyes closed, hissing in annoyance at the stupid sun. The drumbeat carried on and you belatedly realised it was inside your head, sending a fresh wave of throbbing pain through your skull every few seconds.

You moaned lowly and shifted slowly, trying to manoeuvre you head under the pillow but you were trapped. You gradually became aware of an arm slung over your waist, trapping you in place and your eyes shot open in alarm. Wincing at the brightness you waited for your eyes to adjust. When they did you looked around, this wasn’t your bed, this wasn’t your room. Where the hell were you?

You twisted your head around to look behind you at the person who was holding you tightly and blinked in surprise. Darcy was spooning you, her eyes screwed tightly shut and soft rhythmic snores falling from her open mouth. You grimaced and tried to sit up, accidentally knocking Wanda’s head off your lap. Wait, Wanda was in the bed?

You nervously peered around, thankfully there was nobody else on the bed but Natasha was curled up on an armchair in the corner of the room, fast asleep. It took you a few minutes but you managed to piece together the scene. This was Wanda’s room, Natasha and Darcy were still wearing their party dresses from last night, Wanda was wearing red pyjamas and you were wearing…. A tuxedo?

You crawled off the bed, stopping in fright when you accidental kicked Wanda in the face but she only rolled over and carried on sleeping and you breathed a sigh of relief and continued to make your escape. As soon as you were standing upright you seriously considered just getting back into the bed. You felt weak, like you hadn’t had food or water in days and yet as soon as the thought of food crossed your mind your stomach started turning and nausea had you running/stumbling for the bathroom.

Ten minutes later and after sticking your head under the tap you tiptoed out of Wanda’s bedroom, leaning on the walls for support as you very very slowly made your way towards the kitchen. You needed to find someone who knew what had happened because you had absolutely no idea whatsoever. The last clear memory you had was of kissing Bucky.

You stopped in the hall and nearly toppled over. Bucky. Kissing. You and Bucky had kissed. Resisting the urge to slap some sense into yourself you tried to remember what had happened after that. You had flashes of Blonde hair and muscles and the taste of something sweet and honeyed. Oh God. God of Thunder to be precise. You must have gotten to try Thor’s mead.

You were hungover. You had gotten blackout drunk.

You desperately resumed your quest for the kitchen, needing more than ever to find somebody who could tell you what had happened. Your alcohol soaked brain finally remembered the way and after only one wrong turn and a detour past the gym you made it into the kitchen. Sam was sat at the counter, nursing a cup of coffee.

“Sam! Oh thank god, you have to help me.” You whisper shouted and threw yourself dramitically into his arms.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?”

“I’m hungover.” You lamented, a little teary eyed.

The heartless bastard snorted in amusement.

“It’s not funny, I think somethings really wrong with me. Maybe my Super Soldier Serum reacts badly with alcohol, I think I’m dying.” You sniffled.

“Oh baby, you’re not dying. It just feels like you are. The first hangover is always the worst.” He assured you, trying and failing to hide the smirk on his face.

“But I can’t remember anything about what happened, it’s all blank. My head feels like somebody is scooping my brain out with a blunt knife and my stomach feels all wrong. I can’t stop shaking.” You told him, holding out your trembling hand to illustrate.

“Trust me, that’s normal. I don’t feel so hot myself. Of course I’m a little more used to it and I didn’t get one taste of Thor’s mead and drink the entire flask.” He snorted.

“I did what?”

“Don’t worry, Thor thought it was hilarious.”

“Least of my worries Sam, least of my worries. What else did I do?” You asked with trepidation.

“I’m not sure, check your twitter account. Most of the highlights are on that.” He said with a shrug.

“My… My what?”

“You don’t remember that either? Darcy and that Parker kid convinced you to sign up for social media.” Sam explained, patting your pockets and pulling out your phone.

He unlocked it and after a few clicks turned the screen round to show you. Sure enough you were logged into ‘Twitter’ as…

“Baby-Stark-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do?” You questioned.

“That was Parkers idea. Don’t ask, you don’t want to know the answer.”

You scrolled down the posts with a growing sense of shame. There were pictures and videos galore. You pressed play on one of the videos to see yourself being dancing to Mr Roboto with Iron Man. That video was especially popular. There was a picture of you mid arm wrestling match with Steve, thankfully there wasn’t a video of that, you’d be fucked if you’d revealed to the world you could hold your own with Captain America in strength.

“The Falcon is my favourite Avenger for anyone who was wondering, he’s the best looking and coolest!” You read out loud.

“They do say drunk people are honest.” Sam shrugged and tried to look innocent.

“Sam this is so bad, my dad is probably going to kill me.” You whined.

“I wouldn’t worry about that.” Sam said, taking your phone and clicking on Tony’s twitter profile.

Tony had retweeted a photo of you Dj’ing with an Iron Man helmet on your head with the caption ‘She parties like a Stark! So proud!’.

“None of this explains why I’m wearing a tuxedo or why I woke up in bed with Wanda and Darcy.” You pointed out, stealing Sam’s coffee.

“Can’t help you there but I have so many questions.” Sam said.

You didn’t answer, as soon as you’d tasted the coffee you moaned loudly and drained it like a vampire tasting blood for the first time. Maybe Clint was on to something when he drank it straight from the pot. Sam rolled his eyes and got up to make more.

“Where is everyone else?” You questioned, really wondering if he knew where Bucky was.

“Still sleeping probably. Steve and Buckinator are gone.” He said casually.

“Gone? What do you mean gone? Gone where, gone why?” You yelped.

“They left in the middle of the night. Steve said something about supporting Bucky.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t exactly sober myself.”

“Did Bucky say anything?” You pressed.

“No, last time I saw Bucky you two were screaming at each other in the corridor.” He told you.

Oh no. This was bad. This was very very very bad. What had you done?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After sneaking back into Wanda’s room to leave bottles of water and painkillers on the bedside unit for them and lamenting that aspirin couldn’t do a damn thing for you, you decided you needed to retrace your steps from last night to try and figure out what had happened. Bucky’s phone was switched off, as was Steve’s and you were growing more frightened by the second.

Still clad in the ill fitting tux you made the arduous trek downstairs to the floor where the party had been held, hoping to trigger some memories. There were cleaners milling about, bagging up all the evidence and you smiled politely at them as you made your way through the large room.

Nothing in your memories was shaking loose as you teetered around the room shakily and you sighed heavily, ready to give up and try something else when you spotted somebody on the bouncy castle. There was a dark haired man lying on it with his back to you. You crept over and leaned in curiously.

“Hello?” You called.

He sat up rapidly and groaned, holding his head in his hands. He glanced over his shoulder at you and did a double take.

“Oh hey! It’s you!” He exclaimed.

“Scott? What are you doing?” You enquired.

“I was at your party, I’m Scott Lang. You know, Ant Man?”

“Scott we’ve met like twice before.” You reminded him, holding out your hand to help him climb off the bouncy castle.

“Yeah but I wasn’t sure if you remembered me, you were really busy.” He said, accepting your hand and clambering down to stand beside you.

“Trust me, you make an impression.” You laughed.

“Sorry.”

“No, a good one.” You assured him.

“You look as bad as I feel, only with more shame and regret.” He noted.

You sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the castle and he perched next to you with a patient and open expression.

“I think I fucked up, badly.” You admitted.

“Wanna talk about it? I know a lot about shame and regret.” He offered.

“I don’t know if I can explain it. Ok, there’s somebody here, on the team. We don’t get along and I kind of betrayed them a teeny bit but last night we made progress, really good progress. Great progress actually. But I think I got drunk and messed it up and now he’s gone and I don’t know if I can fix it because I don’t know what I did.” You rambled.

Scott looked a little overwhelmed.

“Wow. Ok, that is a lot more information that I was expecting.”

“Yeah.”

“Well if we can figure out what you did, you think you can try and fix things? That doesn’t sound too complicated. I bet we can do this, you just need to try and remember what happened.”

“I’ve been trying. That’s why I’m down here.” You explained.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” He asked.

“Um, Thor I think? Sam said I drank all the Asgardian mead.” You admitted ruefully.

Scott blinked at you in awe.

“Well that’s a start. Hey lets ask around, the more you can piece together about what happened the better your chances of remembering.” He suggested.

“We? You wanna help?” You asked.

“Sure, it’ll be fun. Probably.” He smiled goofily.

“Besides, every great detective needs a sidekick. Sherlock and Watson, Inspector Gadget and penny… That’s all the examples I have. Come on.” He said, walking off with a spring in his step.

You sighed and shrugged. You didn’t have any better ideas so you got up and followed him.

“Wait, which one of us is the sidekick in this scenario?” You asked.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Well that doesn’t look good...” You remarked.

There was a fist sized hole in the corridor wall. You placed your fist into it but it was clearly made by someone with much bigger hands. Sam had said you and Bucky were arguing in the corridor last night and whatever you had said to him, it looked like it was bad enough he’d punched the wall.

“Hey, there’s another one over here.” Scott called to you from further down the corridor.

You went over to him and saw what he was pointing at. There was a large crack in the plaster, much much bigger than a fist. In fact, it was similar in size to you. You looked behind you and saw that the hole was parallel to the stairs. A fuzzy memory began to play in your head and you pulled your shirt up. Sure enough there were fading bruises along your side.

“Uh, I think I may have tried to use Caps shield as a sledge to go down the stairs.” You admitted with a blush.

“Cool!” Scott exclaimed and then looked at the hole in the wall again.

“Or maybe not so cool.” He decided.

“Very not cool.” You agreed with a wince as you remembered hurtling down the steps and into the wall.

“But hey, at least you remembered something. This is working! Let’s keep going!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next piece of the puzzle to be solved was in the lab where Banner was working. As soon as he saw you he backed away.

“Are you sober?” The doctor asked you nervously.

“Yes? Why?” You asked.

“Because last night you asked me if you could fight the Hulk and film it. You said Vernichtung Vs The Incredible Hulk would be the greatest death match in history.” Bruce explained.

“I mean, it kind of would.” Scott said while the colour drained from your face.

“I am so sorry Bruce! I would never do that, I swear.” You protested.

“It’s ok, I think you were joking. Besides, I’m pretty sure Darcy put the idea in your head.” He said placatingly.

You were still horrified as you remembered asking Thor if he wanted to referee the fight. You hurriedly apologised to Bruce and fled the lab, your face burning. Scott waved bye to Banner cheerily and ran after you.

“Where to next?” He asked.

“Far away from Bruce.” You said as your feet led you back to the kitchen.

Sam had left and now Clint was perched on the counter drinking coffee. You snatched to pot from his hands and started chugging it.

“Whoa, rude.” Clint snapped.

“Did I do anything last night you wanna tell me about? Steal your bow and pretend I was Merida or something equally stupid?” You groaned.

“No, nothing like that. Well you did ask if I kept animals on the farm and cried for ten minutes when I said I had chickens and phoned my wife to ask her to let you say hi to them.” Clint told you with a snort.

Now that he mentioned it you did sort of remember Laura Barton inviting you to come and see the chickens for yourself and meet the children.

“Oh yeah. Wanda and I are coming to your farm for the weekend.” You admitted.

“I know, the kids are excited.”

“Well, that’s not so bad.” Scott remarked.

“Yeah, at least I didn’t bodily injure myself or challenge him to a fight.” You agreed.

“I don’t want to know, yet I kind of do.” Clint said and Scott hurriedly filled him in while you smooshed your head into your arms on the counter.

“WANDA!” You shrieked, startling both the men.

You wish you had thought of this sooner, you could have saved yourself some time. You rushed away at a faster pace than your body could handle and had to stop in the hall to lean against the wall and rest.

“Wanda I want my memories back.” You yelled, storming into her room.

She was sat on the edge of the bed and you noticed Darcy and Natasha were gone as the witch looked up at you in fear and alarm.

“Your memories? You can’t!” She protested.

“What? Why? I need to figure out what happened last night. Can’t you just… you know?” You asked, imitating the hand gestures she used.

“Last night? Oh, uh I can’t do that. It doesn’t work like that I am afraid.” She informed you, colour returning to her face.

“Ugh. Can you at least remember anything that happened? Any arguments I may have gotten into or something I might have to apologise for?” You asked hopefully.

“I remember very little after karaoke I’m afraid Sestra.” She told you apologetically.

“After what now?”

“You mean you don’t have any recollection of singing?” She said with an evil smirk.

“Oh no. Just tell me.” You whined, throwing yourself onto the bed face down.

“You gave a very emotional performance of Bad Romance.” She sniggered.

“Please just kill me.” You begged.

“If it makes you feel any better, Darcy sang ‘I Touch Myself’ to The captain.”

“You know what, that does make me feel better.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You tracked down Scott who was still in the kitchen, his head in the fridge.

“Wanda can’t help, though she did give me the rundown of my short lived pop career.” You informed him with a sigh.

“Don’t look so down, we’re making great progress.” He told you through a mouthful of cold take out.

“No, we’re finding out all the embarrassing things I did. I’m no closer to finding out what I did to Bucky.” You said mournfully.

“So that’s what this is about? You and The Winter Soldier? You know what, I can kind of see it.” Scott said, squinting at you.

“See what?”

“You and Barnes. You’d make a good couple.”

“What? That’s not what… I didn’t… No.” You spluttered.

Scott grinned at you and you knew you’d given yourself away.

“If you tell anyone I will hunt you down and introduce you to my bloodthirsty alter ego.” You vowed and he went pale.

“No, I wouldn’t. I was just saying, I’m on your side.” He hurriedly assured you.

“I know. Thanks Scott, I appreciate you trying to help but I don’t think this is working.”

You dragged yourself to the couch, accepting that you had messed things up with Bucky again and you didn’t know how.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn’t until you got back to your own room that everything fell into place. In hindsight, you really should have gone there first. Especially since you were still wandering around in Tony’s Tuxedo. Yeah, Darcy had finally relented and informed you that she had dared you to steal one of Tony’s suits and wear it back down to the party. She hadn’t specified she had meant the Iron Suits and you had raided your dads closet for the expensive Italian tux.

You had pulled it off and taken a shower, padding over to your bed in a funk you tried once again to call Bucky and yet again it went straight to voicemail. You didn’t bother leaving a message, you wouldn’t know what to say. You sighed heavily and threw yourself onto the mattress, landing on something hard and pointy. You grumbled and pulled it out from under your stomach. It was a book, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. You frowned and flipped the front cover open. There was a note on the inside.

My dear Vernichtung,

I was sorry to hear about your mothers untimely demise, such a tragedy. Still, I am heartened to hear you are able to celebrate and decided to send you this gift. I believe you will find this book to your liking.

I will see you very soon.

Your Creator.

Your chest tightened and everything snapped back into place, all your memories of last night. Finding the book in a pile of gifts and running out of the party. Bucky had followed you into the corridor, worried about you. Through shaky breaths you had tried to explain, showing the book to him. He had been incandescent with rage, putting his fist through the wall. Your own fury had ignited and you had screamed until your throat was raw, wanting to know how he got the book into the compound, wanting to kill him.

You knew you should feel afraid right now but you were too relieved. You hadn’t fucked things up with Bucky. He had tracked down the caterer who had slipped the book into your pile of gifts. A young woman who had been paid an obscene amount of money to sneak the book into the compound, she had thought it was harmless since it was only a book and she needed the money to pay her college fee’s. She had told Bucky everything, about how a man had approached her during one of her breaks at the Catering Company in LA. Bucky had dragged Steve out of the party after begging you to try and put it out of your mind and go back to the celebrations and promised he would call you when he tracked down the mysterious man who had given the girl the book.

Docherty was doing all he could to torment you and proving he could get to you anywhere. Bucky was doing everything he could to help you feel safer, leaving your party and flying to LA for you. You really hadn’t fucked this up at all Docherty be damned, you were happy.

You threw your head back onto the pillow and laughed, jumping up when your phone rang. The screen was completley blank, no caller registered at all. With apprehensiveness you picked up.

“Hello?”

“Miss Stark, this Is Nicholas J Fury. I need your assistance with something. In precisely ten minutes the security systems in the compound will be down for exactly sixty seconds. If you agree to help us you will need to use that time to get out of the compound unnoticed.”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because there is a very rich and powerful man who has managed to create a deadly virus he plans to unleash on an unsuspecting population in a war torn country. We can’t call The Avengers, they are too public and this man is to powerful. We need somebody unknown, somebody highly skilled. I am asking you to climb out of your ivory tower to save lives, a lot of lives.”

“And I can’t tell anybody why?” You demanded suspiciously.

“Plausible deniability. The man in possession of this virus has contacts within the UN. This mission is not sanctioned by the accords and neither are you. Millions of lives are at stake and you have eight minutes and sixteen seconds left. Are you in or do I need to find myself another hero, one who cares more about doing the right thing than getting their daddy’s permission?”

Your mind whirled as you tried to decide what to do. What was the right answer here? Did you betray Tony again and sneak away again or did you hang up the phone and let somebody else take care of this? Millions of innocent lives VS Tony’s trust, what were you supposed to do? Did you even trust Fury? Would Tony forgive you if you did it? Would somebody else stand as high a chance as you of doing this?

You took a deep breath and gave your answer.

“I’ll do it.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I can’t believe that I have just hit over 50k words with this chapter. Thank you to each and every person who is reading, I’m so freaking grateful!

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt @meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

[thegoldenavenger]

Hmm, i was thinking about that fusion au post (that "full on steven universe fusion soulmate" post) and,, well. Fuck the word block limit. anyways i wrote this in three hours from like 1 am to 4am so it’s not beta’d and possibly fever-dream ish. this is around 4k. and has a readmore.

Tony gets a bit of a reputation. He's maybe a little too young when he goes to MIT, and too eager to learn and grow. Up to this point he'd been pretty isolated from those he could call peers and fusing with parents just never happened.

But at MIT, well.

He had maybe fused a lot.

Once or twice, unintentionally at parties where everyone was plastered and fusion was as natural as stepping in time with the next beat. He'd always been an adaptable kind of person, it was easy to fall in sync. He'd wanted to, badly. He'd wanted to be a part of something more than himself.

These times often ended with bewildered laughter and too many limbs overbalancing their awkward new body, and falling away from each other, no harm no foul. Snatched moments where Tony didn't have to be stuck, alone, in his own head.

There were times he fused deliberately. Clasping hands with Rhodey in his apartment, grinning to the low bass of his sound system as they embraced each other and became each other. Luxuriating in late night drives in Rhodey's car, deciding what gas station snacks he wanted--or no, a 24 hour diner! He loves those homefries.

Or when Tony met Ru and his hands shook so, so much when she grinned at him underneath a maple tree but he took the step forward anyways and they walked along the river side, peering into the water at their reflection. Their hair curled around them, textured differently, held a different length than they expected but they liked it. They liked a lot of things. Relearning Rumiko's elegant motorbike was one of those things.

There's Ty, and Janet, and Gene. He's not indiscriminate, but rumours fly as they are wont to do. And then some pap catches the moment Tony and Ty become one, and. Well. Tony doesn't necessarily care, but Ty does. And when his father finds out, Howard is furious.

Still, Tony can't find it in himself to change. He steps perfectly with Sunset when she asks. It's so easy to get lost in her eyes. And maybe it's weird how together she’s so... limbed, and her voice feels like gravel in their mouths. But she’s having fun, even if she seems distracted by the papers Tony had left out.

Sunset cashes in on Tony's blueprint barely a week later.

He gets it, he does. There's a reason people wait for The One. Incompatible fusions can be dangerous. He understands that.

But he doesn't want to be, you know, himself for this Christmas. With the Rhodes on vacation and him stuck in a cold manor. Only his parents for conversation. Good ol' Obie takes some kind of pity on him, because he invites old friend Ty over for Tony's sake. And just like old times he manages to bully his way through the dinner.

He's in Tony's room, because he's not fit for public, after the dinner. He drinks and has a party of just himself, while Tony's parents drive to some fancy gala.

For some reason he's gelling more than usual, the swirling anxieties in his minds complementing even though he has too sharp teeth and eyes too many.

It's not great when Obie knocks on Tony's door and says a set of words that has half of himself blanking out. His shape gets wobbly, and he spills apart. Tony's too numb to sync with anyone anymore.

Later he'll over think this moment. If he hadn't been fused, he might've gone with his mother and dad. Been there for the accident. Maybe he'd be driving instead. Maybe he could've stopped it.

He stopped fusing for a time. His reputation never left him, but stepping up to helm the Stark business meant he had to change. There was no more room for something more than just Tony Stark.

The less said about his captivity the better.

He thinks they broke him.

He thinks that when they scooped out his chest they took the part of him that could sync, that let him become a them.

He thinks that, because when Rhodey clasps his arms around him and their foreheads touch, Tony should stop being Tony and start being Them. He and Rhodey had long grown out of having to dance to sync. Just the emotion ought to be enough and God knows Tony is feeling it.

Anyways.

So Tony never loses that reputation. It makes it awkward when he won't fuse with the team.

"It's not you," he says, and it must feel like the most cliche of cliches. "Except for you, big guy, it’s definitely you." Hulk gets a gentle pat though, because honestly, Tony would pick Hulk over the rest of the team to fuse with if he could. SHIELD would quake at the thought, and that's almost tempting enough to try.

The rest of the team is seamless with their fusions. Even Steve, who had given up his dream of waiting for The One with a 70 year ice nap and a resigned look, and excepting Thor, whose people didn't Work Like That.

Tony doesn't--can't--doesn't fuse anymore.. But he watches. The graceful arc Nat's body makes as Clint lifts her and they shimmer into a large, deadly, graceful fusion. Strong limbed and silent as they stalk through the battlefield.

Steve hurling his shield and catching Hulk's hand, the two of them seeming more to force themselves together like two cement walls colliding. And they aren't anything as graceful as Black Hawk Down over there, leaping across rooftops, but they catch Steve's shield and remember not squash all the cars in their way.

Tony has JARVIS in his ear, Iron Man wrapped around him closer than an embrace. He likes to say Iron Man is his fusion, and in a way it is; it's the closest he'll ever get to syncing with JARVIS--or anyone, now.

Watching Captain America's face as he sees a piece of his past walk into his life again shifts something in Tony's chest. (Of course he recovered the footage from the helicarriers)

Tony is surprised they don't fuse the moment Bucky's fist hits Steve's cheek.

He thinks Steve is surprised as well.

Tony thinks he can't fuse anymore. But there's no reason Bucky shouldn't be able to. Natasha is almost exact proof of that concept. But for some reason, Bucky and Steve haven't fused once. Even now, that Bucky's nominally an Avenger. Tony has seen Sam and Steve's fusion fall apart more than once even when they'd start out strong.

Steve's guilt throwing them out of wack, Tony would guess, but he's not an expert on fusing.

"Neither am I," Pepper says, long suffering as Tony bats a perpetual motion gadget on her desk. He looks into her liquid blue eyes. If he'd met her earlier he'd know the rhythm she would move in and how best to compliment it. He thinks, if he'd met her in college he'd have fallen into fusion as often with her as he had with Rhodey.

He's a little melancholy at the fact that he'll never know what they could be as a them. He likes to imagine they'd be as competent as the super spies, but for some reason he thinks they'd turn out more like the Hulk.

He tries not to think about Rhodey and Pepper determinedly not touching, like accidentally fusing in his presence would be a crime. Like they don't think he could handle them. Like they thought he should be a part of them.

"Yeah, but you have all those romance novels hiding on your shelves--"

"They aren't hiding, and if you think comparing Steve and James' situation to a book where everything can be solved with a little lucid dreaming--"

"That's it!"

"What--no, that's not what I said!"

"You're a genius, Potts!"

And Tony gets to work.

The glasses reframe past events so your present mind can work on getting closure from them.

Bucky is hesitant at first.

"They're mostly safe--"

"Mostly?" Bucky asks, his mouth held in a resigned, bemused little quirk.

"I've tested them myself, just a little mild nausea and headaches--yes mostly, this is bleeding edge right here. You have to expect the bleeding part to come in somewhere." A pause. "Metaphorical bleeding. Or cathartic bleeding, I guess."

Bucky asks for some time to think about it.

The next time they talk about it, it's like no time has passed. "It's immersive, but there's a hard stop motion involved. It can be cut off at any time, immediately, with little more repercussion than a headache."

"Immersive?"

"Well, what's the point of reliving trauma if you're not interacting with it at a 120 refresh rate?"

Bucky shakes his head. But he has that little amused despite himself smile.

Steve asks for updates and progress reports and generally floats around like a mother hen. He's nervous but eager, asks if he can be involved, if that would help, he's always there to help.

Tony says that Nat will probably be helping Bucky since she has an exceptional frame of reference for this, and a relationship with Bucky to boot.

"I don't mind Natasha, but I want you there, too."

It surprises both of them that Bucky means Tony and not Steve.

The first session with the retroframing device is more like a sleep over. Tony is using it, to demonstrate how it works with a relatively low chance of running into something heavily traumatizing for a dry run.

"I love the guy, it's just, hard, to focus on this stuff when he's right there."

"Feels like too much pressure to get it right?"

Bucky humms so Natasha says, "It feels like getting it right would almost be worse than how it is right now?"

Bucky shakes his head, then nods.

"I remember what he does, mostly, but it's so much farther away from me. I don't love him less but I've changed. And I think... even if this works I'll still be changed and he won't know how to deal with that."

"He might think you still need to be fixed, even when you're fine," Tony says, as he watches a younger him walk across a red lacquered bridge.

"I don't want to disappoint him, but what if I've just. Changed too much. What if we're too different now?"

The Tony from his memory pauses at the end of the bridge as a gust of wind blows plum tree petals across him. He reaches out but doesn't catch any.

"He'll get over it," Natasha says, straight forward as ever, the corner of her mouth lifted.

"Friends are good like that," Tony says.

Behind them, the rev of a motorcycle peals into the scene, disturbing the quiet of the blossoms and the other Tony, leaning against the bridge. The bike brakes in front of Tony, and the rider pulls off her helmet. The passenger doesn't have a helmet.

"Sorry Tony, I had to crash your date," Tyberius says, grinning as he holds Rumiko's waist.

"His father called," Rumiko said, her eyes rolling. But all three of them knew about fathers.

The other Tony wrinkled his nose, but waved them off, "Yeah, yeah. Next you'll be telling me you're working late and you can't come home." He pouted, in character, as Rumiko revved her bike.

"You'd never buy it," Ru laughed, "You know I don't work!"

The memory dissolved around them as Tony lifted the glasses off his face.

Tony and Nat and Bucky work together well. On the field and in the lab, where they help walk Bucky through his past and help him reclaim it.

It's not any surprise when, halfway through a seemingly innocuous memory of The Winter Soldier learning ballet Bucky and Natasha fuse. Almost unintentionally, but with an elegance that Tony almost misses it completely.

The environment glitches--the glasses unsure how to deal with this--before settling on a semi fragmented repetition of the current scene. The culmination of Bucky and Nat, blinking confusedly at her hands, repeated endlessly.

She take off the glasses, study herself and say, "it's been so long."

So Bucky can fuse. Steve recoeves the news with restrained glee, but he doesn't push to get a punch on Bucky's new dance card. He seems happy enough that Bucky is on the metaphorical upswing.

Knowing Bucky is taking care of himself seems to help Steve take care of himself too. He no longer stumbles out of step in battle, and holds his battle fusion with sam for longer than strictly necessary.

"You're an indescriminate, selfish piece of work!" Steve had said when he and Tony had first met. "You'd throw yourself at anything that moves as long as your life isn't on the line!"

Tony hadn't been thinking of it then, because the scepter had been pushing him into focusing more of the red hot feeling of, "You don't know anything, times have changed cap! But I guess an ice nap will do that to you, even if you are a super soldier." but with time as a buffer Tony can now wonder what SHIELD had been showing Steve.

"You want to talk big but can you back it up?"

"You wanna fight? Of course you do, that's all you were made for."

"Put on the suit."

"What, tired of looking at me?"

"I'm going to punch you and I'd rather fall out of this plane then touch you."

Steve had apologized. Tony doesn't know what prompted it, because Tony hadn't changed his attitude after diving into a worm hole, but Steve had gripped his hand, solidly. There hadn't been music playing but Tony doesn't think that would've stopped him.

Steve had certainly put a lot of effort into showing Tony that he definitely didn't mind touching him, even when the risk of fusing was high.

Something that had unseated itself when the scepter had been playing games edged back into place.

"This is going to be rough," Natasha said.

"Can't be rougher than seeing the Red Room," Tony said, expecting Natasha's husky laugh. Instead, she was frowning.

Bucky--memory Bucky, the Winter Soldier--was gearing up for something.

Bucky--the now Bucky--watched with furrowed brow.

The Iron Man suit was a prosthetic of a sort, but not the kind that would be able to replace a limb. Tony had to reach out to a dozen consultants to get the frameture right. To figure out how to counterbalance weight and friction.

Bucky had been hesitant to accept a new arm, and Tony found himself unwilling to push it. But it sure made latching onto Steve's shirt before he jumped off a building without a parachute again a lot easier.

The Winter Soldier revved the motorbike and cut through the cold night air, headlight lighting the way.

"What, what's worse than handcuffed little girls?" Tony asked, a little alarmed.

"He didn't tell you?"

The data drop was huge, and Tony had JARVIS scrape for every piece of data he could. He helped Barton coordinate rescue efforts for agents with blown covers.

It helped him put in a framework for a location program that would be ready by the time Steve reached out to him.

Seeing Steve's face as a piece of his past walks into his life again wrenches something in Tony's chest. Like a chance, or a choice.

The Winter Soldier turns down a road. The road. Tony blinks.

"What--" he knows this road.

Nat turns her head sharply and starts forward. "Bucky! нет--"

"Thank you," Steve says, which surprises Tony because it's not like he's stopped being an asshole all this time. He's still Tony. But helping Steve help Bucky slots something into place.

Tony crashes Rhodey's whatever it was he had planned to whine at him, and generally be relieved that Rhodey is there to whine at. He finds himself thinking, thank God it was me and not him. Tony doesn't envy Steve.

There's a car that the motorcycle is fast approaching. It speeds up, and the Winter Soldier reaches out and

The world dissolves as Nat shouts нет again and Bucky takes off the glasses, wincing hard.

Tony is still. "I know that road--I--" he stops.

"I mean it, Tony. Thanks for bringing him home."

Tony can't find the words to respond, he's too busy hyperfocusing on one word: home.

It's taken years. This is the first time any of the avengers has referred to the tower as "home".

Tony's had a couple homes. His Malibu cliffside mansion, where he and Pepper and Happy hide out. This tower. The pent house suite in Japan with Ru, even after the scandalous photosin the gossip rags. Rhodey's house, and Roberta's cooking. And, despite everything, the manor Fifth Avenue and all it's ghosts.

"That was my father's car," Tony says, harshly.

"I thought he told you," Natasha puts herself between Tony and Bucky, like Tony is the threat here.

"Told him what?" Bucky asks and Natasha's eyes wince a little.

"My parents were in that car!" Tony's voice is a little hysterical.

Captivity hadn't made Tony paranoid though it hadn't helped any. Papparazzi, paid spies. Sunset Bain using fusion to get his plans. Tyberius Stone filling binders with photos documenting Tony's life for profit.

His father didn't take care of much besides his business and his cars. The wreck had seemed fishy.

The Iron Man suit started out as a Frakenstein of misisle parts and sheet metal, but now he had a gauntlet in a watch.

"My mother was in that car!"

At some point, Steve had been alerted.

Tony can't beat Natasha in a fair fight. That's just a fact. But he doesn't think about that as his watch unfurls around his hand. She's not expecting it, clearly--she'd written narcissist not paranoid--because he can push her away with it's strength.

Bucky shakes his head, "I don't--I don't know, what," but he's not stupid either, he can put together the peices.

Steve can't be heard through the reinforced glass, and JARVIS is reluctant to let him in. He starts punching.

Tony reaches Bucky, who raises and arm. It's barely a fight. Even with the gauntlet, Tony built Bucky's arm too well. Tony just needs to get under his gaurd though, and he clenches his gauntleted hand in Bucky's shirt, and Bucky starts trying to pry it off.

Tony doesn't know where Natasha is but that matters less than nothing to him as he rears back his right fist and punches Bucky square on the jaw.

Glass shatters.

There's a moment where Tony and Bucky meet eyes, where they inhale the same breath. Fear and loathing and raw anger flush in their hearts and they may as well be stepping to the same song and

they stop being Tony and Bucky

And start being They.

Their hair falls in their eyes and they don't move for the longest time, heart rate slowing as they heave breaths.

Irrationally their first thought is "there's no way I'm going by Bony." It sends a wave of laughter through them, startling their friends.

"Bucky?"

"Tony?"

Come two voices, cautiously.

"Starchanan." They--he? Yeah, he.--says.

"Of course." That's Natasha's wry humor.

"What happened?" That's Steve, standing in a pile of reinforced glass, his knuckles bloody.

Starchanan focuses on that and frowns. He's mad about that. Not only should the glass have stopped Steve--Steve shouldn't have been using his knuckles in the first place, the dumb ass is incapable of not hurting himself when there's a door right there.

Natasha faces Steve. "I thought you told Tony!"

Steve's face lifts in surprise, shock, dismay. Starchanan decides he doesn't want to hear what he has to say.

It's been literal decades since Tony has fused and Bucky isn't all that practiced anymore either. But fusion is always a conversation and they both know how to talk.

Starchanan isn't as tall as Black Hawk Down--is that what I call them? Yeah, it's funnier than Clintasha--but he is built like a shit brick house.

Bucky's arm must have--

Tonys electronics got--

He's got some fancy equipment straight from the box. Shining palms wired to a glowing heart--that's all Tony. There's a heaviness in his shoulders and when he investigates it, it feels like there's a structure underneath--that's gotta be Bucky's fault.

"It's to help with recoil," he says aloud, cautiously. "Without it, 'd probably dislocate my arms using these." Saying it outloud feels better. Like it's truer.

He looks in the mirror. He looks surprisingly stable for a fusion made after discovering a murder. He should probably call someone.

"Rhodey, Pepper." He says immediatly, then winces. Then shrugs. He'd feel bad for leaning too much on Tony's friends, but he doesn't want to see Bucky's.

"This is..." Pepper starts.

"Unexpected?" Rhodey finishes.

"Yeah," Starchanan agrees.

Rhodey shakes his head, "You're really going with Starchanan?"

"Are you saying you're voting for Bony?" He asks, incredulously.

"I was thinking Winter Man sounded nice," Pepper said from behind a smile.

"Iron Winter," Rhodey tried.

"The Man Winter," Starchanan added.

It was a distraction but it was a nice one.

Now that he knew he could do it, he kind of was overwhelmed with a desire to fuse with his friends. The people he had spent the last years, months, days getting to know (again). But he wasn't done with this conversation yet, so he walked through the halls of Avengers Tower and talked.

"Eh, I'm practical." Clint says, pressing buttons on the remote, opening menus, closing them, shaking the remote in frustration. "You know, someone says fetch I fetch, someone says shoot I shoot."

Starchanan grabs the remote from Clint's hand and turns the captions on for him. "Someone says kill the enemy spy, you drag her in from the cold."

"Like I said, practical."

"Betty would've stayed with me, but I was too afraid." Bruce says. "I didn't know what would happen if I lost control, or if we fused. Or if I lost control while fused--or fusing." He takes off his glasses and cleans them.

"She wasn't worried?" Starchanan asks, spinning himself around on a chair.

"She was worried I hated myself so much I'd do something about it."

"Did you?" He asks, though half of him knows the answer.

Bruce looks placidly at him, then smiles. "Yeah."

"How'd that work out for you?" He couldn't help the disgruntled frustration stirring in him.

"Surprisingly, that wasn't the healthiest thing I could've done."

Starchanan stops spinning to fold his hands on the island, and press he forehead to them. He made a noise like the spinning made him dizzy, but Bruce could see through it no doubt.

"But. I'm here now, and this is. A lot better than I'd ever let myself dream of before. Letting myself have it is hard, but worth it."

"I thought he had explained." Natasha said.

"You could've instead."

"It wasn't my secret."

"It shouldn't have been a secret."

She presses her lips together. Sighs. "I didn't want to be a reason Steve and Tony fought."

"We fight all the time."

She laughs. "A real fight--I don't like when mom and dad fight."

His mouth twitches. "You'd be a hell child."

"That's the only good kind."

"Sharing your entire being with another, without reservation, is truly a wonder." Thor said, grabbing another bag of popcorn.

"Little bit," he replied.

"What's it like? Jane had described it to me as a joining of two books. Reshuffled to make a new story."

Starchanan thought on that, but decided the metaphor didn't feel right for him. "For me--both of us--It's like a conversation."

"A good one?"

"It can be."

"What is your conversation about?"

He looks into the mirror. It's safety glass because Tony has a habit of punching his reflection. Starchanan understands the action, but feels no urge. His reflection is interesting, not frightening.

His face is even, with big eyes and heavy brows. His hair is wavey, soft, and curls around his ears.

His face is growing familiar.

"I'm sorry." Steve apologises. Of course he does.

"I don't think I forgive you."

"Will he? Will they?"

"You'll have to talk to them yourself." Starchanan says.

Steve nods, shoulders heavy and tense as Atlas. Starchanan doesn't resist the urge to punch Steve's shoulder. "Look, I don't forgive you. But we should talk anyways."

"I didn't think--"

"Not about that, we're, well. Not done. But we're moving on from that now."

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Hmm. Have you ever been on a road trip?" Starchanan asks, "There's a lot of places I haven't been."

Steve looks up, done wringing his hands. "I might be able to help with that."

[excusemysaltiness]

Haven || Loki x Reader

Chapter 1: Unleashed

Summary: The Avengers successfully secure a Hydra base but all goes wrong when its deadly prisoner escapes. Having been imprisoned for many decades, Y/N does her best to evade her pursuers. But despite her efforts, the same god of mischief continues to find her.

Chapter 2

The sun disappears bit by bit as darkened clouds set upon the ominous Hydra base. A mighty storm brews within the shadows and expands quickly, shrouding the land below in darkness. A chain of lightning strikes the Hydra base, bombarding it with barrages of electrical currents. The assault ensues until the sites security systems are disabled by the power surge.

"Good job, Thor." Comments Steve over the comms. He nods at the pilot, Natasha, indicating for her to land the Quinjet whilst the rest of the team fit their uniforms and ready their weapons. The soldier turns from the cockpit and inspects the cabin. Everyone's prepared for the battle ahead. All except for one person: the god of mischief. Steve approaches Loki and maintains his stern demeanour, unscathed by the gods piercing glares. He glances at his left hand, watching it carefully as it twirls an intricate dagger, before meeting his icy gaze.

"Get ready before we land."

In one swift motion, Loki fixes his grip on the handle of his dagger and points its blade at the soldier's chest.

"You think you can command me, mortal?" He seethes sharply. The tip of the blade inches closer towards Steve but stops when Loki registers the sound of guns cocking. He turns to see Natasha and Sam with their handguns aimed at him and glares at them before removing his dagger from Steves' chest.

"I am only assisting you in your campaign because of my brother," He says. "None of you is to command me and if any of you are to be in need of aid in the midst of the battle do not expect me to be your rescue."

The Quinjet, set on auto-pilot, lands itself in the forest aside the base and the rear door lowers. The team quickly filters out of the aircraft and Loki follows a few metres behind them. The irritated god looks up to the darkened sky to see his brother and Stark fly past and engage in combat with some Hydra operatives ahead. There are hundreds of them. Enough to help me alleviate my anger. Before they enter the clearing, Loki's attire shimmers and his Asgardian armour promptly replaces it. He summons two daggers, one held in each hand, and rushes forward towards an unsuspecting enemy. The unfortunate soldiers' screams fall on death ears and Loki continues to prey on the Hydra agents one after the other, leaving a trail of mutilated bodies in his wake. The battle prolongs for a great amount of time and eventually, the Avengers emerge victoriously. While Stark and Vision work away at downloading files from the facility's main computer system, the rest of the team explore the many floors of the desolated base. The top five levels hold nothing of interest to them, withholding only an armoury, training centre and barracks. The team sweeps through the halls, quickly snuffing out any stray Hydra soldiers, before making their way back to the elevator. They finally reach the basement floor and are startled by what the elevator doors reveal. The dark entry hallway is littered with deceased Hydra operatives.

"Keep an eye out guys," Warns Tony over the comms. "Whatever they were holding in the containment cells down there got out during the blackout."

"Do you know what they are?" Asks Natasha as she steps over a tattered body.

"A bunch of experiments gone wrong."

Stark and Vision scroll to the bottom of the folder and open up the last file.

"And a prisoner." Adds Vision.

Steve holds up a fisted hand and the team comes to a halt. Running footsteps echo from ahead accompanied by ragged pants and whimpers. The sound becomes louder until eventually, they spot the source: a snivelling Hydra operative. His left arm is missing, exposing a bloodied shoulder joint, and his right foot is twisted backwards, dragging along the floor. His injuries are very similar to ones that the corpses bear and the team fears that he might endure the same fate.

The dishevelled man looks up to the Avengers with fearful eyes. "Rennt!" He cries out. "Close the elevator or else she'll escape!"

Acting on instinct, Wanda hurries back to the panel aside the elevator doors and Thor rushes forward towards the Hydra agent. He reaches out his hand to the wounded soldier and goes to move under his right arm to offer him support. All seems well for a few seconds when suddenly the man is wrenched from the thunder gods' grip. A humanoid figure drags him back into the shadows and his blood-curdling scream is ended by a sickening snap. They hear his body fall to the floor with a thud and immediately aim their weapons ahead.

Thor holds up his hammer threateningly and calls out to the creature hiding in the darkness. "Show yourself!" His voice booms.

The Avengers maintain their positions, weapons armed and readied, but ultimately, nothing happens. After a while, the eerie silence is finally lifted and replaced by the sound of scraping metal. Followed by a door becoming unhinged.

"Shit," Curses Tony over the comms. "It's going through the emergency exit!"

"Which way's the exit?"

"Don't bother, it's already reached the surface!" He responds before flipping on his helmet.

While Stark and Vision attempt to capture the escapee, the rest of the team backtrack to the elevator and make their way to the ground floor. But by the time they get outside of the base they discover that the prisoner has already escaped. Steve and Natasha rush to Tony's side and assess his damaged armour and, more importantly, the deep gash along his right arm.

"Don't worry," Pants Stark, wincing as Natasha wraps up his arm. "Gabriel won't get far with her injured wing."

Sam lets out a short chuckle and the others shake their heads annoyedly. "You really gotta stop with your nicknames, man."

"Good Morning America, 'Evil Sweeps Over Idaho', over the night multiple residents of Canyon County, Idaho reported a winged woman flying over their homes and stealing food from wherever she could. One man suffered injuries to his face as he defended his shop from the female while another claims that he was lifted into the air before being dropped 12 feet off of the ground. Both the Nampa and Caldwell Police Department responded to the distressed calls and were able to confirm that the strange sightings were, in fact, true. Efforts were made to capture the person of interest but unfortunately, they were unable to apprehend her. No one knows where the creature came from but the local Nampa Church of Christ believes that the individual is a fallen angel expelled from heaven."

Loki rolls his eyes at the mention of the Midgardian religion and resumes reading his book whilst the rest of the Avengers' eyes are glued to the flat screen television.

"The local Police Department's have warned Canyon County residents to remain indoors until the woman is captured. The US army has begun searching the Morley Nelson Snake River Birds of Prey National Conservation Area where the individual is said to be hiding and hope that she doesn't set off and attack any more civilians."

The television screen switches off and the teams focus shifts to Nick Fury. He stands at the end of the briefing room table and pulls up a file on the holographic projector. Loki discards his book on his lap and inspects the image accompanying the lines of text. He finds himself weirdly entranced by the h/c haired woman and feels a pang of guilt when he examines her eyes. Though it is a stilled image, he can see the pain and sadness layered deep within her e/c eyes. Her years of imprisonment have changed her greatly. After what feels like hours of staring at the headshot, Loki finally reads the document. But he finds himself mulling over the first line of text over and over.

"Y/N." He says to himself quietly.

What a beautiful name.

Rennt: ‘Run’ in German (Thank you @softassbithc )

By the way, I’m Australian so I’m sorry if I got anything wrong (Specifically the GMA report)

Thanks for reading! Feedback would be much appreciated! :))

[stargirl222]

Ok, I am still seeing posts about how much people love Steve’s ending so I decided to write out why I don’t think it was thought out at all and actually just an all around bad ending for Steve in almost every way. There were so many better options they could have gone with to accomplish the same goal of having Steve “retire” and pass on the mantel of Captain America to Sam without creating all of these unexplained issues within their own movies. 

So, for ease of understanding, I’m going to split this into two sections based on if Steve going back in time split the timeline or not. 

A: No Timeline Split 

1. Motivation

So we all know Steve and Peggy had their romance thing back in the first Captain America movie, but as Steve’s story line progressed throughout the other MCU movies he moved on and seemed to settle into his new time to some extent. He seemed to move on from Peggy romantically in the Winter Soldier movie and accepted that he needed to let go of that romantic connection to some extent. He would always lover her in some way and feel very closely connected to her, but he seemed to have decided to move on and live his life. This included trying to find a new romantic partner. It wasn’t until the scene in Endgame where he pulled out the compass he was suddenly carrying around once more (as we hadn’t actually seen it since at least the winter soldier movie) that Steve apparently decided to not move on from Peggy all over again. 

2. The Course of Time

The next issue they don’t really address is the lack of action this move to the past would require on Steve’s part. If the timeline didn’t split and Steve had always been Peggy’s husband then Steve didn’t act on a lot of information he had that could have saved a lot of people. The most pertinent issue with this one is the infiltration of Hydra in Shield and Hydra’s subsequent brainwash, torture, and use of Bucky Barnes as a weapon. Steve had enough information about all of those events that he could have stopped them from happening and saved Bucky at least six decades early. If the timeline didn’t split then Steve at best was indifferent to this or forgot about it and at worst allowed it to continue as it was. 

3. The Shield

This brings us to the problem of the shield the old Steve gives to Sam. If the timeline didn’t split then Steve would have had to find some way of creating a new shield since the location of the original shield that was destroyed in the final battle in Endgame is accounted for during the entire duration of this Earth’s timeline. This would likely require either stealing vibranium from Wakanda or buying it from a smuggler and getting someone he hadn’t previously met before to forge it for him. All of which has its own host of issues involved.

4. Avoiding Recognition

The final issue with this concept is the way that Steve would have had to avoid everyone in the world recognizing him for his entire life. We all know that Captain America became a celebrity in this world during the war and this was only enhanced when he went MIA. So time traveling Steve would have had to find a way to avoid detection from everyone in order to not interfere with the history of this world to actually allow his future self to travel back to the past in the first place. This would become even more of a problem once his past self was re-discovered in the 2010s and past Steve was visiting a Peggy suffering from Dementia. Even if Peggy wasn’t the person he married she would still have the memory of dancing with him AFTER he crashed the plane at the very least which could become a problem when past Steve visited her depending on what she remembered at the time of his visit. This could complicate the ability to hide the fact that future Steve went back to the past from past Steve. 

B: Timeline Split

1. Dealing with the Other Steve

So the first issue that comes up if the timeline splits is dealing with the original Steve. This would have had to happen in some way shape or form in order for Steve to get the shield we see him giving Sam at the end of Endgame. Now this could happen in many ways which range from not great (there being two Steve’s and having a weird love triangle with himself with Peggy since we see them together in Endgame to some extent) to REALLY BAD (future Steve “taking care” of past Steve), but this would have to happen in some form otherwise the same issues come up as in the original timeline of people recognizing him as Steve Rogers. 

2. Consequences of Messing with the Timeline

So lets go back to fixing all of the bad things that happened in the original timeline. With all of Steve’s knowledge he could easily eradicate hydra back in the 40s (or at least eradicate them as much as they can ever be eradicated) and save this timeline’s Bucky from being forced to be the Winter Soldier. This would undoubtedly change the course of countless people’s lives, including Peggy’s (wether or not they actually were romantically involved in this world), and steer this world in a completely different direction which could either be a good thing or a bad thing depending on what got changed and how much it changed. 

3. Getting back to 2023 Original Timeline

Either way, these changes would make it a problem for Steve to get back to the original Earth in 2023 to give Sam the shield as the timeline of this new world would have diverged into its own alternative universe, making the ending of Endgame an insanely complicated mess that has no real explanation as to how the heck it was even possible. 

In either of these cases, there are complications and things that go so contrary to Steve’s character that they make no sense. They would compromise Steve’s morals in some way and cheepen whatever “happy ending” he was supposed to get from this by all but erasing one of his most defining characteristics, his morality. 

[terriblygrimm]

ohmygod finally someone who shares my views. my sister and I loved fatws for what they did w sam’s character but aside from that the writing was very bad. we really could not understand wtf was bucky’s purpose to the main plot and what new side of bucky did we see. when the action wasnt happening he kept whining about steve and being rude to sam and then marvel thrust sambucky onto us and basically told us to move onto this Brand New Duo. sam and bucky were not on equal footing here and their personal struggles did not hold equal weight at all (i will give credits to anthony and seb here for making their friendship look believable) mcu keeps sidelining bucky and i thought they would do him some justice in this show but they didnt. after reading the articles and interviews post the show it was evident the writers did not understand bucky’s character at all. his whole character development was moving on from steve and now becoming sam’s sidekick? (also im really hoping and praying these writers dont go through with sarahbucky in the future because…no..absolutely not). and i do hope that what you said about a future steve bucky reunion comes true because so far mcu has been very hellbent on erasing their friendship and its just pathetic that they try to undermine their friendship so much, while weirdly enough also emphasizing that yes it has deep emotional value.

yeah like, i’m gonna try to make this as succinct and short (lol) as i possibly can without going off on tangents but tf.atws should’ve been SAM’S show. sam alone. he should’ve been the only title character, and they could’ve properly focused on his arc and the sociopolitical weight of it. that is MORE than enough content to fill up 6 hours. i absolutely love cap!sam and i think he’s gonna be a great captain america. i’m very much looking forward to his future.

but virtually everything else about this show from conception to film was a miss.

the flag smashers? (really marvel? your military propaganda perked its ugly ass head with this one. within the first five minutes of the show they were condemning ppl who believed in a world without borders lmfao. i legit almost stopped watching right then i’m not kidding) and the storyline itself wasn’t even coherent. they had WAY too many characters and arcs to focus on and it just.. didn’t work. didn’t do any one of them justice. not even their title characters - especially their title characers. the whole thing felt very hollow and emotionally remiss. the barely existent dialogue was clunky and awkward, and i’m sorry but.. to me, sam and bucky do not organically get along lol. the chemistry between the actors is undeniable which is why so many ppl ate it up, (and do i think they could eventually get along? yes) but the buddybuddy thing was pretty forced imo. very sudden and based on very little. 

their stories were at odds, with not one common goal between them all the way to the end. they fought for screen time and it caused both of their stories to suffer and not carry the weight they should have. they both had VERY heavy content to work with (a black captain america / a trauma/abuse/pow survivor) but somehow marvel - in true marvel fashion - did not commit to either and tried to tread lightly on both. 

bucky and sam only had the thin thread of steve woven between them & even that was done poorly because the writers themselves admittedly weren’t told what happened to steve, therefore they couldn’t write a definitive arc about it. and instead of actually committing to the deep bond between he and bucky, they took the no homo route and had bucky express anger over who holds property of the shield, rather than admitting it was steve himself that he emotionally and physically missed. but again, they couldn’t really do that, could they? they didn’t know if steve was alive or if bucky knew of his whereabouts. 

i’ll admit i did enjoy the peripheral concept of bucky helping steve pass along the shield, like he was its watcher, making sure steve’s legacy fell in good hands, and was there to basically coach sam along the way. in THAT regard alone, it did feel like he and steve were still a team post-endgame. that, on top of saying that he and steve discussed the future of the shield together was a sweet touch. loved that, but it was executed poorly like everything else.

& his winter soldier arc... lordy, was that handled horribly. bucky is a charming, gentle, burdened, lover-not-a-fighter (since the 40s) victim and they turned him macho, carrying the burden of his abusers and guilted into making amends? and that his problems were his fault because he couldn’t trust people? say what now? bucky is a pissed off, good-hearted war vet with a LOT of baggage- he’s not just some dude. the effort to butch up and patch up bucky in a quick fix was apparent, from the short hair, to the list of names, to the “man up” approach everybody came at him with, to the really out of place heterosexual flirting. i mean honest to god who the has time to flirt? apparently bucky! none of the other characters even passed a sideways glance to another during the entire series aside from the one character who audiences have been vocal about being queer for 10 years. hmmm.... (and then the writers actually CAME OUT & MADE A POINT TO SAY that they did not intend for his bisexuality lmfao i mean please dear god put us out of this misery. that writer/director need to stop talking because nobody cares about their personal opinions or headcanons. media is for the viewer to interpret so please shut up.)

overall the actors did what they could w that script, that much was obvious- and they certainly tried to stay as true to their visions/versions of the characters as they could but it just didn’t end up matching up.

but yeah, on a lighter note, i sincerely don’t think they’ll continue bucky in sam’s sphere. i think that was a one off. i don’t think they actually wanted to sell them as a “new partnership” but they just didn’t know how to write the dynamic properly. i think tf.atws was just a sad, sad attempt to place them somewhere post-endgame so they can continue on in bigger marvel films. sam’s got his cap4 and his new team (torres, sharon, walker), and i think i read he’s gonna make an appearance in black panther? which will be sooooo awesome!! 

and bucky? his ending was very open, what with him miraculously “feeling better” yet not quite the white wolf, and not permanent in any place. and on top of that, he was instructed to stay away from wakanda so he can’t make future appearances there, so methinks he and steve will cross paths again as nomad and white wolf for sure (once it’s revealed what steve’s been doing, etc). maybe in space?

the power that holds anon.... i get so excited even thinking about it.

[ranwing]

So... my thoughts on Endgame...

Like any much loved show, creating a satisfying ending is a tricky challenge and just as often we see shows fail as we do succeed. And no matter how well thought out and complete a conclusion can be, fans are rarely if ever happy. We all have our own ideas of how a show should wrap up and when a conclusion doesn’t match what we’d envisioned, it often leaves an unsettled feeling of unfinished business.

But creating an ending that differs from what fans might want doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a bad ending and very often, giving the audience what’s unexpected can make the most satisfying conclusion. I’ll use some examples here that, for me, shows that display how a successful ending to a long-running series was done and in contrast conclusions that made nearly no-one happy and show how Endgame fits in.

M*A*S*H was one of the longest running programs on US television and like the MCU, didn’t neatly fit in any basic genre. It was, at heart, a comedy. But it centered on a military surgical unit during the Koran War. And it was a funny, witty show with sharp writing and talented actors with great comedic timing. But a lot of the humor was of the very dark quality. And there were a lot of moments of great drama and tragedy. Characters died. Some of the funnier moments were a result of the characters desperately trying to cope with the trauma they were enduring. Wrapping up a show that ran for 11 seasons was not going to be easy and the writers chose to do so in a way that would challenge the viewers.

It had been a shock to see Hawkeye, the central character of the entire series, under psychiatric care because he’d finally suffered a total nervous breakdown (and unable to accept the event that lead up to his breakdown). We saw Charles Winchester, who spent many seasons keeping everyone at arms reach bonding with a group of surrendered Chinese soldiers who were in reality talented musicians. Klinger had fallen in love with a Korean refugee. BJ was being discharged and would finally get to see his daughter (who he hadn’t seen since she was an infant). The war was drawing to a close and everyone was looking forward to returning home.

In the end, Hawkeye regained his grasp on sanity and was able to return to his duties and have heartfelt closure with the man who’d been his best friend for so long. The musicians that Charles had befriended were killed in a mortar attack and Charles ends up leaving Korea a deeply changed, more compassionate man. It was a heartbreaking conclusion to one of the best shows ever aired on television and stands out as one of the best conclusions for a tv series.

In contrast, we get endings for some things that make little or no sense or are just unsatisfying. There are few fans that look back at Glee’s finale with any fondness and jokes about how all of St. Elsewhere was just the fantasy of an autistic child still stand out as WTF? I spent how many years watching for this?

Avengers: Endgame had a really difficult challenge in trying to wrap up over ten years of film and tv shows in a way that makes some kind of sense and gives the characters and actors not returning some kind of proper send off. That wasn’t going to be easy by any stretch. Unquestioningly we expected at least some to die (if only because the actor’s contracts were up and they would not be returning).

Tony’s heroic death made the most sense, as did Natasha’s sacrifice. Both of them were fighting for something greater than their own lives and while I was especially sad to see Natasha go, it closed their character arcs (as well as made it clear that both the actors were done with the MCU after so many years).

Steve’s ending is, for me, a lot trickier because having him given the opportunity to stay in the past, marry Peggy Carter and live out a life in real time might make a nice fairy tale ending, but it flies in the face of his character arc going back to CA:TFA and ignores much of the canon of not just the MCU movies, but the Peggy Carter TV series. Peggy had a life after Steve. Besides building Shield, she married and had a long and content life. Steve returning erases at least some of her well-documented history.

Then you have Steve’s relationship with Bucky, which for nearly ten years has been portrayed at his magnetic pole. Nearly everything he did was because of Bucky in one way or another and not only did they have little real time together (and little evidence that Steve was in particular mourning Bucky after the Snap), but by going back in time, we get a real twist in the time continuum. Bucky is still held by Hydra for decades, tortured and brainwashed and used as a killing tool. The idea that Steve would willingly exist and play happy husband with the knowledge that his best friend was alive and being brutalized... I just couldn’t see that.

The only answer I can come up with is that the Russo brothers needed some way to write Steve Rogers out of the MCU going forward and didn’t want him to be another casualty. They wanted to end on a happier note and Steve alive after living with the woman who he loved (who I assume died the way we saw back in CA:WF) and passing on his legacy would leave people feeling better than another funeral. But narratively, it doesn’t fit with the rest of Steve’s story and it creates a time paradox that I don’t think the movie addressed in a satisfying why. In my head, Steve created a separate offshoot of his own timeline that is clearly separate from the events of the movies and shows. Not the best answer, maybe, but one that makes a trace of sense to me.

As for Steve passing on his shield to Sam instead of his lifelong best friend, I was momentarily angered by this but then did some thinking and understood why he did so. Bucky had spent so many years being made into whatever those controlling him wanted him to be that to give him the mantle of Captain America would have been another person pushing Bucky into a role. Bucky now, for the first time in his life, is truly is free to do what he wants and become who he wants to be without any expectations being placed on him. If he wants to return to Wakanda and raise goats, he can do that because Steve isn’t asking him to fulfill the persona of Captain America. Sam didn’t have nearly the baggage that Bucky does and while I question how someone who isn’t a super soldier will handle the role, mentally he’s in a better place to.

I had a lot of other quibbles about some of the way stories were resolved and while Endgame was a great and enjoyable film, the fan in me still wishes that things were done a little differently. But I’ll satisfy those needs with the ton of fix-it fanfiction that is sure to be written in the coming weeks and months, and I’ll see Endgame as just one possible ending in the various timelines for these characters.

[yearsblog]

How do you follow up a smash hit album that, in your native country alone, sold over a quarter of a million copies, spent two weeks at Number 1 (and didn’t budge from the Top 40 for over a year), spawned both a Number 1 (which itself sold just shy of a million copies) and a Number 2 single, and earned you four Brit Award nominations? With a bit of time and patience, it seems – or at least that’s how Years & Years have done it. The London-based, British-Australian trio’s second studio album ‘Palo Santo’, the follow up to 2015’s banger-filled, world-beating debut ‘Communion’, which put singer Olly Alexander and multi-instrumentalists Emre Türkmen and Mikey Goldsworthy on the proverbial map, has just been unleashed onto the world and currently boasts a handsome score of 82 on Metacritic, a 14-point increase on their previous offering. They may have, by their own admission, suffered from a little Difficult Second Album Syndrome, but the numbers don’t lie – their patience in crafting this record has absolutely paid off.

In reality, it’s not been an inordinately long wait for Years & Years fans, just three years, almost to the day – shorter than we were made to wait for recent sophomore offerings from Lorde, HAIM, Sam Smith and London Grammar. We meet for our interview on the third anniversary of the release of ‘Communion’,four days after ‘Palo Santo’ dropped, on the afternoon of the London instalment of the brief run of gigs across Europe and North America that are serving as the album’s launch parties. Despite being in the middle of a mad release week, packed with media appearances and album promotion, there’s little sign of fatigue from the band. The mayhem of the day hasn’t yet gotten to Emre, who has the clarity of mind to quickly fix an issue with our Polaroid camera, nor Olly, who is supposedly on vocal rest ahead of the performance, but voluntarily sings lines of ‘Sanctify’ as we snap our pictures. With his hair freshly re-dyed red, he’s in a chipper mood. “We can’t wait to be inside you,” he offers as his message to fans in New Zealand, before rethinking his contribution: “Bit weird.” Similarly cheeky humour comes from the stage late in that night's set: “I’m really wet,” he tells the adoring crowd, adding, “Sign of a good night, if you ask me.” There’s no shortage of banter on this promo circus.

If the magic took a little time to return during their writing and recording sessions in the British countryside last year, you wouldn’t notice from listening to ‘Palo Santo’, a record that manages to capture an unmistakeable Years & Years sound, while also pushing them into new territory. There’s particularly noticeable progress in the lyrics: whereas on ‘Communion’, the tracks often sounded as if Olly was writing them while looking directly into the eyes of their subjects, ignoring all surroundings and speaking purely from the heart, on ‘Palo Santo’, the lens is widened and we’re given more context, as well as a greater sense of space and time, to aid our understanding of each of these relationships and encounters. This advancement is particularly evident on ’Lucky Escape’ (in which a bitter scroll through an ex’s Instagram leads to a disparaging sense of relief at having ended things) and the title track (about the complicated experience of being the third party in an open relationship), each about different, yet fully-realised romantic partners.

This lyrical evolution is also apparent on first single ‘Sanctify’, the tale of a fling with a straight-identifying man, suggesting that a discrepancy in two partners’ confidence in their respective sexualities can lead to an interesting power-play in the bedroom. Despite the erotic thrill of the track, Olly’s writing manages to remain sympathetic to a man who “lately life’s been tearing […] apart." "I know how it can hurt / being cut in two and afraid,” he discloses, with surprising depth and warmth for a song so carnal. He’s a lyricist of great heart, trying to make sense of troubled men who are in turn trying to make sense of themselves, even if the romantic relationship he has with them doesn’t extend beyond the bedroom.

Olly’s background as an actor has gained new relevance with the release of ‘Palo Santo’, which sees him take a lead role in the accompanying short film and reteam with co-stars from his years on stage and screen. Before Years & Years properly got going, it was for supporting roles in films like ‘God Help The Girl’, ‘The Riot Club’ and (as Mikey teasingly reminds Olly during our interview) ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ that Olly became a recognisable face. He even featured opposite Greta Gerwig, the future Oscar-nominated director of ‘Lady Bird’, in the tiny 2011 indie ‘The Dish and The Spoon’, and could often be found on the London stage, turning in a string of critically-praised performances in plays between 2010 and 2013. The final play in which he appeared was John Logan’s ‘Peter & Alice’, which imagined the meeting between the two real life inspirations behind ‘Alice in Wonderland’ and ‘Peter Pan’, played by Dame Judi Dench and Ben Whishaw respectively. In cutaways to the fictional world created by J.M. Barrie, Olly played Peter Pan, fighting for his right to exist despite the wishes of his non-fictional counterpart, Peter Llewelyn Davies, that his life hadn’t been stolen from him by Barrie.

Jump forward five years and these three co-stars are reunited in another fantasy world in which Olly is a different kind of exceptional boy at the mercy of older powers, striving to assert his individuality. Dench is now the cryptic “mother of Palo Santo,” and Whishaw, who also appeared in one of the earliest Years & Years videos, for ‘Real’, makes a fleeting appearance as a hologram, giving an announcement to the city’s inhabitants. The film, shot in Thailand, is wild and ambitious in a way that, away from the output of the Beyoncés and Gagas of the A-list, pop often isn’t anymore. It also gives Olly the chance to sink his teeth into a role beyond just a dialogue-less, short-form music video. His character, also named Olly Alexander, is made to perform repeatedly for audiences, before growing tired and dismayed with being exploited and finding a way to explore his emotions away from the control of others.

Tonight, it’s on another London stage, a couple of miles north of the one they previously shared, that Olly and Dame Judi are reunited. Her voice is woven through the band’s live show at Camden’s Roundhouse, just as it is through the film. The iconic 83-year-old Oscar-winner’s narration has become an integral part of this project, but those hoping for an appearance from the Dame herself tonight are left disappointed, but probably not surprised, at her absence – she remains a formless, floating voice, just as in the world of Palo Santo.

But what does ‘Palo Santo’ actually mean? Despite its placement as the penultimate song on the album, the title track is the record’s centrepiece, a meditative and powerful cut more mature than anything found on their previous LP, on which Olly cries out, “You’re the darkness in me, Palo Santo.” In its most literal sense, the title comes from the name of the thick, wooden incense blocks that the party in the open relationship with whom Olly was involved was burning during their time together. The direct translation is, somewhat amusingly, ‘holy wood’, and their vapours are said to purify the air and cleanse it of evil and darkness.

But such is the expansive universe that the three-piece have built around this two-word term that it now carries several possible interpretations beyond the literal. Alternatively, ‘Palo Santo’ could be a moniker for this man himself, and the short-lived love triangle relationship, which perhaps represents a time of darkness for Olly.

Given the double use of ‘Palo Santo’ as the title of the record and of the futuristic, android world of the accompanying short film, a couple of further, more meta readings avail themselves to us. ‘Palo Santo’ the album could contain the darkness in Olly, with many songs, such as ‘Lucky Escape’, ‘All For You’ and ‘If You’re Over Me’, depicting him at challenging moments following a break-up, as he attempts to power through and come out on top of love rather than be defeated by it.

The world of Palo Santo seen in the film also has a strong connection to a possible darkness within Olly, as it explores the intersection of disconnect and emotionlessness with sensuality and performance. “The divine, amazing and incredible Olly Alexander”, as he is introduced by the Showman character, is one of very few non-androids in Palo Santo, and the androids, as we learn from the Star Wars-esque pre-scroll in Fred Rowson’s film, “desire nothing more than to experience real emotion,” which feels resonant with Olly’s outspoken discussion of his own mental health struggles. When taken alongside songs like ‘Hallelujah’and ‘Rendezvous’, which tell of rather non-committal sexual encounters, we see the same topics in ‘Palo Santo’ that Olly explored last year in his BBC documentary ‘Growing Up Gay’, of how struggles with mental health are sadly pervasive within the queer community.

In the live performance, it’s during ‘Palo Santo’ that Olly, donning a sparkly robe of almost ten metres in length, is raised up on a platform in front of a huge moon, a star ascending across a dark night. It’s a triumphant, almost unbelievable moment of spectacle meeting emotion. There may be “darkness” in this album, but it’s notably never in the form of sadness, and almost entirely hidden in joyous moments of pure pop. In their live show, Years & Years take the chance to show this overcoming of difficulty and adversity through a visual metaphor that literally grows before the audience’s eyes, and it’s an awesome sight to behold.

Despite being a Palo Santo Party, their setlist is equally balanced between their two albums. The newer cuts – such as the snappy ‘Karma’ and thumping ‘Hallelujah’, both just days old to fans – are received ecstatically, and the familiar hits bring some of the night’s most notable moments. Olly is briefly distracted by his front row devotees during ‘Take Shelter’ and stumbles to the end of a verse, before later bringing out an Italian fan who, thanks to the Make A Wish Foundation, gets to sit with him at the piano as he plays ‘Eyes Shut’, leading to one of the night’s biggest cheers. It’s when MNEK returns to the stage for the encore, following his spritely support set, for the debut of a new duet called ‘Valentino’, that the night hits peak gay, much to the fans’ delight. A Latin-flavoured bop telling of an infatuation with a boy “from the outskirts of East LA,” it owes a generous debt to Lady Gaga’s ‘Americano’ (a 2011 album track which opens “I met a girl in East LA…”), as well as the best of 90s girl-band R&B. Fingers crossed we get a studio version ASAP.

Earlier that day, we spoke to Years & Years about developing their songwriting for ‘Palo Santo’, avoiding sadness on a break-up record, when they expect they’ll finally be coming to New Zealand, and much more…

COUP DE MAIN: So it’s three years today since ‘Communion’ came out. EMRE TÜRKMEN: Is it? CDM: It is, happy birthday to it! How has release week been different this time around? OLLY ALEXANDER: It’s similar in the sense that I can’t remember much of it, because we’ve been so all over the place. I guess this time round, you’re… MIKEY GOLDSWORTHY: More of a veteran? OLLY: Yeah, I guess. First time around, I felt like I was hit by a truck. Not in a bad way, not in a negative way, just because it’s so overwhelming. But I think now I feel more grateful that fans have stuck around and that people like the new music. Because you can never take it for granted, can you? What about you guys? EMRE: The first time felt more intense, actually, I seem to remember. Because you know what to expect, in a certain way, it’s less mental. MIKEY: We’re doing similar things. We did [BBC Radio 2 show] Chris Evans last time. We did three countries in one day. CDM: Did you have a big launch show like this one? MIKEY: Not a big one, it was in a little club near Oxford Street. OLLY: We didn’t do anything in America though, did we? I think this time, we tried to do Palo Santo parties, like, East Coast and West Coast America, Berlin and here, so in that sense it’s been way more ambitious. Generally, I think we tried to be a bit more ambitious this time around.

CDM: There seems to be a real progression in your lyrics on this record. They’re more precise and specific than they were on ‘Communion’, and even involve some clever wordplay, particularly on ‘straight’ and ‘mask/masc’ on ‘Sanctify’. Did you approach writing lyrics differently this time around? OLLY: Yeah. Songwriting, especially lyrics – the more you do it, the more you uncover and the more you learn about your own process. The stuff that you write when you’re 20 is going to be different from the stuff you write when you’re 25, which is going to be different from the stuff you write when you’re 27. So I think, by its very nature, it develops and changes. But just as a human being, I feel more confident to write the shit that I actually have in my head. Not that it felt like I was stopping myself before, but I think it made a difference feeling more confident in myself this time around.

THE NEW SONG WE’RE MOST EXCITED TO PLAY LIVE IS…

CDM: I think my favourite song on the album is ‘Karma’, which grapples with whether what you’ve done in the past will lead to good or bad fortune in the future. (“No I can’t tell what’s right or wrong / Is there a consequence for all I’ve done?”) Was there something you were trying to answer about the role that guilt has in your life, and whether it’s worth holding onto? OLLY: I guess there’s some specifics that I relate to my own life. Some of those are to do with relationships, some of those are to do with my childhood, and generally about morality and, like, is karma real? And that song, the beginning of the session, I was writing with my friend Sarah Hudson who’s amazing and she’s very like witchy and into like occults and esoteric stuff, and she did a reading for us at the beginning and one of the cards was called ‘karma’ and we were like,“Oh, yes! Let’s write a song called ‘Karma’.”

CDM: How was the experience of writing with Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter on ‘Hallelujah’ and ‘Preacher’? OLLY: Oh, good! It was kind of intense because they’re songwriting royalty. I had the head of our label call me up before the session, because everyone was freaking out. They think if you put people in a room, you’re going to come out with a number one song, and there’s so much pressure on it to be good. So I was quite nervous to meet them, but they’re so warm and so inviting. Julia’s a legend too, but because Justin has had such a trailblazing, queer career and because he’s such a queer force in songwriting and in pop music, I was really humbled to be in his presence. And it was fun, you know, it was nice to work with them because you get to see into another writer’s process. I had no idea if my ideas or the stuff that I’ve been doing as a songwriter was any good, and then when I worked with them, I realised that they do similar things, and I was like,“Okay, this is nice, to be able to do this.” And we got a good song out of it!

MY FAVOURITE SONG WRITTEN BY JULIA MICHAELS AND JUSTIN TRANTER IS…

CDM: ‘Palo Santo’ seems to be very much a post-relationship record, with ‘If You’re Over Me’, ‘All For You’ and ‘Lucky Escape’ – as well as the Kele Okereke song that you featured on last year, Olly, ‘Grounds For Resentment’ – detailing how an ex can continue to occupy space in your mind and life once the relationship is over. It’s kind of lacking in heartbreak, unlike most break-up records we hear. Were there sadder songs you wrote for the record that didn’t make the cut? OLLY: I’m trying to think now. MIKEY: There were slower songs. I don’t know if they were sad. OLLY: We had a lot of songs, and then whittled them down. The ones we put on the album felt like the strongest ones. It wasn’t until I saw them together as a group like that where I realised the theme did feel like looking back on a relationship and trying to sort of dig through the shit that happened and feeling sort of angry and frustrated about that, but in a place of empowerment rather than feeling destroyed by it.

CDM: Olly, you’ve described ‘Lucky Escape’ as a petty song. Do you think that pettiness is a necessary, or helpful, part of the post-break-up experience? OLLY: Kind of! I think that I really, really bite my tongue in arguments with people, and I never say the thing I wish I’d said. But in a song, you have way more time! <laughs> MIKEY: It’s annoying when you have an argument and you go back and you’re like, “Ah, I should’ve said that! I would’ve sounded so smart!”

CDM: Olly, you gave Rihanna the first LP of ‘Palo Santo’ after you appeared with her on The Graham Norton Show. So say she’s scouting for new writers for her next album, and just one song from the record could be your calling card, which one would you want her to listen to and think, “I want him to write for me”? OLLY: I’m trying to imagine myself as Rihanna and think what she would like. Maybe ‘Palo Santo’. I’m just proud of the song and the songwriting on that. It’s quite unusual for a pop song. I guess you can argue, “What the fuck is a pop song?” But maybe that one. I feel like she might vibe with that.

CDM: ‘Palo Santo’ is so ambitious and high-concept, in a way that you don’t see many other British artists attempting or getting away with. It seems to come more naturally to American artists like Janelle Monáe and Halsey. Do you think there’s something about British culture that makes it easy to ridicule or be cynical about these sorts of ideas? OLLY: There’s some truth to that, I expect. MIKEY: David Bowie was British and did a lot of that kind of stuff. EMRE: I mean, I think the first concept album of all time was The Beatles. <laughs> Pink Floyd springs to mind… CDM: I guess I mean more in the present. OLLY: But you’re right, I agree. MIKEY: I know what you mean, Americans seem more confident with not caring what other people think. British people always seem to scrutinise other British people. Australians have inherited a little bit of that culture, as well. Especially in Melbourne. OLLY: Brits can be cynical, but I like that about being British. I guess you could say Americans definitely go for bells and whistles and big statements, and are generally considered more ambitious. CDM: Was there ever a concern about people not getting on board with it? OLLY: Yeah, I was worried all the time. But I realised that I was the best salesperson for the project, so I was telling everyone it was going to be so amazing. I went into the label and gave them a PowerPoint presentation about how everything was going to look and all the videos and the merchandise and the live show. I compensated feeling a bit nervous about the whole thing by being extra, extra, extra confident on the surface. <laughs>

HOW YOU GET TO PALO SANTO…

CDM: You’ve reteamed with your former co-star Judi Dench for the narration on ‘Palo Santo’, which is quite abstract – did she have much of an idea of what it was she was saying? OLLY: Yeah! Well, I said to her that she was the queen of androids. She’s sort of like the mother of Palo Santo, so she’s like this omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent – all three – character within Palo Santo, but she’s also kind of serving a poetic Beyoncé voiceover in ‘Lemonade’. So I told her all of that, and I think she was a bit like, “What the fuck?” But she loved it. She was like, “Are you telling me I’m old? Like an old android?” And I was like, “No!” So she was a bit upset about that. But she killed it!

CDM: Back when you were acting, Olly, you played quite a few innocent or corrupted boys dealing with something traumatic, however your character in ‘Palo Santo’ is more powerful and strong, even though he’s in a subordinate role. How much of an impact did being cast in those sorts of roles have on how you saw yourself, and are you trying to push back against that image of yourself now? OLLY: I mean, you put it in a really good way, actually. When you’re acting, you’re just taking the world that you’re given and you don’t really have much choice in the matter. In that sense, I found it quite creatively stifling, because you’re just doing someone else’s work and you’re playing [roles] other people are putting you into. But even when I look at the music videos we did for ‘Communion’, like ‘King’… I guess by the time we got to ‘Worship’ it had shifted, but in all our music videos, I’m getting thrown around, or beaten up, or in ‘Shine’a building collapses on me. I got more and more dissatisfied with being passive, and I think part of the reason I wanted to make a film of ‘Palo Santo’ was so that I could embody a character I would want to be.

CDM: The film has a pretty ambiguous ending, with your character onstage, unable to sing. Will we get to see more of this world, will it be expanded? OLLY: Yes, it will be. As soon as the label give us more money! <laughs> MIKEY: It’s expensive, Palo Santo.

CDM: When can we expect to FINALLY have you play in New Zealand? Because there was the whole situation in 2016 with the cancelled shows… OLLY: I know… It wasn’t our fault! MIKEY: Wait, what happened with that again? OLLY: It was the Ellie Goulding support slot. [The band had to pull out of the Australia and New Zealand leg of Ellie Goulding’s Delirium tour due to logistical difficulties.] MIKEY: Oh, sorry, yeah! My family bought tickets, so I owe them all, like, a hundred quid. There’s talk of next year. I mean, don’t quote me on this, which you will. <laughs>But there’s talk of Oceania/Asia vibes next year. That would make sense. I can pretty much 100% say we won’t be in New Zealand this year. OLLY: I really hope when we go that we get some actual time to spend there, and not just, like, one day. MIKEY: Yeah, it’s beautiful. One of the best-looking countries.

MY FAVOURITE THING ABOUT EMRE IS…

MY FAVOURITE THING ABOUT MIKEY IS…

MY FAVOURITE THING ABOUT OLLY IS…

‘Palo Santo’ is available now. You can watch the accompanying short film below:

[ollyarchive]

INTERVIEW: YEARS & YEARS ON THE WORLD OF 'PALO SANTO', THE DIFFICULT SECOND ALBUM AND DAME JUDI DENCH.                                          

24th August 2018 by

Rory Horne

How do you follow up a smash hit album that, in your native country alone, sold over a quarter of a million copies, spent two weeks at Number 1 (and didn’t budge from the Top 40 for over a year), spawned both a Number 1 (which itself sold just shy of a million copies) and a Number 2 single, and earned you four Brit Award nominations? With a bit of time and patience, it seems – or at least that’s how Years & Years have done it. The London-based, British-Australian trio’s second studio album ‘Palo Santo’, the follow up to 2015’s banger-filled, world-beating debut ‘Communion’, which put singer Olly Alexander and multi-instrumentalists Emre Türkmen and Mikey Goldsworthy on the proverbial map, has just been unleashed onto the world and currently boasts a handsome score of 82 on Metacritic, a 14-point increase on their previous offering. They may have, by their own admission, suffered from a little Difficult Second Album Syndrome, but the numbers don’t lie – their patience in crafting this record has absolutely paid off.

In reality, it’s not been an inordinately long wait for Years & Years fans, just three years, almost to the day – shorter than we were made to wait for recent sophomore offerings from Lorde, HAIM, Sam Smith and London Grammar. We meet for our interview on the third anniversary of the release of ‘Communion’, four days after ‘Palo Santo’ dropped, on the afternoon of the London instalment of the brief run of gigs across Europe and North America that are serving as the album’s launch parties. Despite being in the middle of a mad release week, packed with media appearances and album promotion, there’s little sign of fatigue from the band. The mayhem of the day hasn’t yet gotten to Emre, who has the clarity of mind to quickly fix an issue with our Polaroid camera, nor Olly, who is supposedly on vocal rest ahead of the performance, but voluntarily sings lines of ‘Sanctify’ as we snap our pictures. With his hair freshly re-dyed red, he’s in a chipper mood. “We can’t wait to be inside you,” he offers as his message to fans in New Zealand, before rethinking his contribution: “Bit weird.” Similarly cheeky humour comes from the stage late in that night's set: “I’m really wet,” he tells the adoring crowd, adding, “Sign of a good night, if you ask me.” There’s no shortage of banter on this promo circus.

If the magic took a little time to return during their writing and recording sessions in the British countryside last year, you wouldn’t notice from listening to ‘Palo Santo’, a record that manages to capture an unmistakeable Years & Years sound, while also pushing them into new territory. There’s particularly noticeable progress in the lyrics: whereas on ‘Communion’, the tracks often sounded as if Olly was writing them while looking directly into the eyes of their subjects, ignoring all surroundings and speaking purely from the heart, on ‘Palo Santo’, the lens is widened and we’re given more context, as well as a greater sense of space and time, to aid our understanding of each of these relationships and encounters. This advancement is particularly evident on 'Lucky Escape' (in which a bitter scroll through an ex’s Instagram leads to a disparaging sense of relief at having ended things) and the title track (about the complicated experience of being the third party in an open relationship), each about different, yet fully-realised romantic partners.

This lyrical evolution is also apparent on first single ‘Sanctify’, the tale of a fling with a straight-identifying man, suggesting that a discrepancy in two partners’ confidence in their respective sexualities can lead to an interesting power-play in the bedroom. Despite the erotic thrill of the track, Olly's writing manages to remain sympathetic to a man who "lately life's been tearing [...] apart." "I know how it can hurt / being cut in two and afraid," he discloses, with surprising depth and warmth for a song so carnal. He's a lyricist of great heart, trying to make sense of troubled men who are in turn trying to make sense of themselves, even if the romantic relationship he has with them doesn't extend beyond the bedroom.

Olly’s background as an actor has gained new relevance with the release of ‘Palo Santo’, which sees him take a lead role in the accompanying short film and reteam with co-stars from his years on stage and screen. Before Years & Years properly got going, it was for supporting roles in films like ‘God Help The Girl’, ‘The Riot Club’ and (as Mikey teasingly reminds Olly during our interview) ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ that Olly became a recognisable face. He even featured opposite Greta Gerwig, the future Oscar-nominated director of ‘Lady Bird’, in the tiny 2011 indie ‘The Dish and The Spoon’, and could often be found on the London stage, turning in a string of critically-praised performances in plays between 2010 and 2013. The final play in which he appeared was John Logan’s ‘Peter & Alice’, which imagined the meeting between the two real life inspirations behind ‘Alice in Wonderland’ and ‘Peter Pan’, played by Dame Judi Dench and Ben Whishaw respectively. In cutaways to the fictional world created by J.M. Barrie, Olly played Peter Pan, fighting for his right to exist despite the wishes of his non-fictional counterpart, Peter Llewelyn Davies, that his life hadn’t been stolen from him by Barrie.

Jump forward five years and these three co-stars are reunited in another fantasy world in which Olly is a different kind of exceptional boy at the mercy of older powers, striving to assert his individuality. Dench is now the cryptic “mother of Palo Santo,” and Whishaw, who also appeared in one of the earliest Years & Years videos, for ‘Real’, makes a fleeting appearance as a hologram, giving an announcement to the city’s inhabitants. The film, shot in Thailand, is wild and ambitious in a way that, away from the output of the Beyoncés and Gagas of the A-list, pop often isn’t anymore. It also gives Olly the chance to sink his teeth into a role beyond just a dialogue-less, short-form music video. His character, also named Olly Alexander, is made to perform repeatedly for audiences, before growing tired and dismayed with being exploited and finding a way to explore his emotions away from the control of others.

Tonight, it’s on another London stage, a couple of miles north of the one they previously shared, that Olly and Dame Judi are reunited. Her voice is woven through the band’s live show at Camden’s Roundhouse, just as it is through the film. The iconic 83-year-old Oscar-winner’s narration has become an integral part of this project, but those hoping for an appearance from the Dame herself tonight are left disappointed, but probably not surprised, at her absence – she remains a formless, floating voice, just as in the world of Palo Santo.

But what does ‘Palo Santo’ actually mean? Despite its placement as the penultimate song on the album, the title track is the record’s centrepiece, a meditative and powerful cut more mature than anything found on their previous LP, on which Olly cries out, “You’re the darkness in me, Palo Santo.” In its most literal sense, the title comes from the name of the thick, wooden incense blocks that the party in the open relationship with whom Olly was involved was burning during their time together. The direct translation is, somewhat amusingly, ‘holy wood’, and their vapours are said to purify the air and cleanse it of evil and darkness.

But such is the expansive universe that the three-piece have built around this two-word term that it now carries several possible interpretations beyond the literal. Alternatively, ‘Palo Santo’ could be a moniker for this man himself, and the short-lived love triangle relationship, which perhaps represents a time of darkness for Olly.

Given the double use of ‘Palo Santo’ as the title of the record and of the futuristic, android world of the accompanying short film, a couple of further, more meta readings avail themselves to us. ‘Palo Santo’ the album could contain the darkness in Olly, with many songs, such as ‘Lucky Escape’, ‘All For You’ and ‘If You’re Over Me’, depicting him at challenging moments following a break-up, as he attempts to power through and come out on top of love rather than be defeated by it.

The world of Palo Santo seen in the film also has a strong connection to a possible darkness within Olly, as it explores the intersection of disconnect and emotionlessness with sensuality and performance. “The divine, amazing and incredible Olly Alexander”, as he is introduced by the Showman character, is one of very few non-androids in Palo Santo, and the androids, as we learn from the Star Wars-esque pre-scroll in Fred Rowson’s film, “desire nothing more than to experience real emotion,” which feels resonant with Olly’s outspoken discussion of his own mental health struggles. When taken alongside songs like ‘Hallelujah’ and ‘Rendezvous’, which tell of rather non-committal sexual encounters, we see the same topics in ‘Palo Santo’ that Olly explored last year in his BBC documentary ‘Growing Up Gay’, of how struggles with mental health are sadly pervasive within the queer community.

In the live performance, it’s during ‘Palo Santo’ that Olly, donning a sparkly robe of almost ten metres in length, is raised up on a platform in front of a huge moon, a star ascending across a dark night. It’s a triumphant, almost unbelievable moment of spectacle meeting emotion. There may be “darkness” in this album, but it’s notably never in the form of sadness, and almost entirely hidden in joyous moments of pure pop. In their live show, Years & Years take the chance to show this overcoming of difficulty and adversity through a visual metaphor that literally grows before the audience’s eyes, and it’s an awesome sight to behold.

Despite being a Palo Santo Party, their setlist is equally balanced between their two albums. The newer cuts – such as the snappy ‘Karma’ and thumping ‘Hallelujah’, both just days old to fans – are received ecstatically, and the familiar hits bring some of the night’s most notable moments. Olly is briefly distracted by his front row devotees during ‘Take Shelter’ and stumbles to the end of a verse, before later bringing out an Italian fan who, thanks to the Make A Wish Foundation, gets to sit with him at the piano as he plays ‘Eyes Shut’, leading to one of the night’s biggest cheers. It's when MNEK returns to the stage for the encore, following his spritely support set, for the debut of a new duet called ‘Valentino’, that the night hits peak gay, much to the fans’ delight. A Latin-flavoured bop telling of an infatuation with a boy “from the outskirts of East LA,” it owes a generous debt to Lady Gaga’s ‘Americano’ (a 2011 album track which opens “I met a girl in East LA...”), as well as the best of 90s girl-band R&B. Fingers crossed we get a studio version ASAP.

Earlier that day, we spoke to Years & Years about developing their songwriting for ‘Palo Santo’, avoiding sadness on a break-up record, when they expect they’ll finally be coming to New Zealand, and much more…

COUP DE MAIN: So it’s three years today since ‘Communion’ came out. EMRE TÜRKMEN: Is it? CDM: It is, happy birthday to it! How has release week been different this time around? OLLY ALEXANDER: It’s similar in the sense that I can’t remember much of it, because we’ve been so all over the place. I guess this time round, you’re… MIKEY GOLDSWORTHY:More of a veteran? OLLY: Yeah, I guess. First time around, I felt like I was hit by a truck. Not in a bad way, not in a negative way, just because it’s so overwhelming. But I think now I feel more grateful that fans have stuck around and that people like the new music. Because you can never take it for granted, can you? What about you guys? EMRE: The first time felt more intense, actually, I seem to remember. Because you know what to expect, in a certain way, it’s less mental. MIKEY: We’re doing similar things. We did [BBC Radio 2 show] Chris Evans last time. We did three countries in one day. CDM: Did you have a big launch show like this one? MIKEY: Not a big one, it was in a little club near Oxford Street. OLLY: We didn’t do anything in America though, did we? I think this time, we tried to do Palo Santo parties, like, East Coast and West Coast America, Berlin and here, so in that sense it’s been way more ambitious. Generally, I think we tried to be a bit more ambitious this time around.

CDM: There seems to be a real progression in your lyrics on this record. They’re more precise and specific than they were on ‘Communion’, and even involve some clever wordplay, particularly on ‘straight’ and ‘mask/masc’ on ‘Sanctify’. Did you approach writing lyrics differently this time around? OLLY: Yeah. Songwriting, especially lyrics – the more you do it, the more you uncover and the more you learn about your own process. The stuff that you write when you’re 20 is going to be different from the stuff you write when you’re 25, which is going to be different from the stuff you write when you’re 27. So I think, by its very nature, it develops and changes. But just as a human being, I feel more confident to write the shit that I actually have in my head. Not that it felt like I was stopping myself before, but I think it made a difference feeling more confident in myself this time around.

CDM: I think my favourite song on the album is ‘Karma’, which grapples with whether what you’ve done in the past will lead to good or bad fortune in the future. (“No I can’t tell what’s right or wrong / Is there a consequence for all I’ve done?”) Was there something you were trying to answer about the role that guilt has in your life, and whether it’s worth holding onto? OLLY: I guess there’s some specifics that I relate to my own life. Some of those are to do with relationships, some of those are to do with my childhood, and generally about morality and, like, is karma real? And that song, the beginning of the session, I was writing with my friend Sarah Hudson who’s amazing and she’s very like witchy and into like occults and esoteric stuff, and she did a reading for us at the beginning and one of the cards was called ‘karma’ and we were like, “Oh, yes! Let’s write a song called ‘Karma’.”

CDM: How was the experience of writing with Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter on ‘Hallelujah’ and ‘Preacher’? OLLY: Oh, good! It was kind of intense because they’re songwriting royalty. I had the head of our label call me up before the session, because everyone was freaking out. They think if you put people in a room, you’re going to come out with a number one song, and there’s so much pressure on it to be good. So I was quite nervous to meet them, but they’re so warm and so inviting. Julia’s a legend too, but because Justin has had such a trailblazing, queer career and because he’s such a queer force in songwriting and in pop music, I was really humbled to be in his presence. And it was fun, you know, it was nice to work with them because you get to see into another writer’s process. I had no idea if my ideas or the stuff that I’ve been doing as a songwriter was any good, and then when I worked with them, I realised that they do similar things, and I was like, “Okay, this is nice, to be able to do this.” And we got a good song out of it!

CDM: ‘Palo Santo’ seems to be very much a post-relationship record, with ‘If You’re Over Me’, ‘All For You’ and ‘Lucky Escape’ – as well as the Kele Okereke song that you featured on last year, Olly, ‘Grounds For Resentment’ – detailing how an ex can continue to occupy space in your mind and life once the relationship is over. It’s kind of lacking in heartbreak, unlike most break-up records we hear. Were there sadder songs you wrote for the record that didn’t make the cut? OLLY: I’m trying to think now. MIKEY: There were slower songs. I don’t know if they were sad. OLLY: We had a lot of songs, and then whittled them down. The ones we put on the album felt like the strongest ones. It wasn’t until I saw them together as a group like that where I realised the theme did feel like looking back on a relationship and trying to sort of dig through the shit that happened and feeling sort of angry and frustrated about that, but in a place of empowerment rather than feeling destroyed by it.

CDM: Olly, you’ve described ‘Lucky Escape’ as a petty song. Do you think that pettiness is a necessary, or helpful, part of the post-break-up experience? OLLY: Kind of! I think that I really, really bite my tongue in arguments with people, and I never say the thing I wish I’d said. But in a song, you have way more time! <laughs> MIKEY: It’s annoying when you have an argument and you go back and you’re like, “Ah, I should’ve said that! I would’ve sounded so smart!”

CDM: Olly, you gave Rihanna the first LP of ‘Palo Santo’ after you appeared with her on The Graham Norton Show. So say she’s scouting for new writers for her next album, and just one song from the record could be your calling card, which one would you want her to listen to and think, “I want him to write for me”? OLLY: I’m trying to imagine myself as Rihanna and think what she would like. Maybe ‘Palo Santo’. I’m just proud of the song and the songwriting on that. It’s quite unusual for a pop song. I guess you can argue, "What the fuck is a pop song?" But maybe that one. I feel like she might vibe with that.

CDM: ‘Palo Santo’ is so ambitious and high-concept, in a way that you don’t see many other British artists attempting or getting away with. It seems to come more naturally to American artists like Janelle Monáe and Halsey. Do you think there’s something about British culture that makes it easy to ridicule or be cynical about these sorts of ideas? OLLY: There’s some truth to that, I expect. MIKEY: David Bowie was British and did a lot of that kind of stuff. EMRE: I mean, I think the first concept album of all time was The Beatles. <laughs> Pink Floyd springs to mind… CDM: I guess I mean more in the present. OLLY: But you’re right, I agree. MIKEY: I know what you mean, Americans seem more confident with not caring what other people think. British people always seem to scrutinise other British people. Australians have inherited a little bit of that culture, as well. Especially in Melbourne. OLLY: Brits can be cynical, but I like that about being British. I guess you could say Americans definitely go for bells and whistles and big statements, and are generally considered more ambitious. CDM: Was there ever a concern about people not getting on board with it? OLLY: Yeah, I was worried all the time. But I realised that I was the best salesperson for the project, so I was telling everyone it was going to be so amazing. I went into the label and gave them a PowerPoint presentation about how everything was going to look and all the videos and the merchandise and the live show. I compensated feeling a bit nervous about the whole thing by being extra, extra, extra confident on the surface. <laughs>

CDM: You’ve reteamed with your former co-star Judi Dench for the narration on ‘Palo Santo’, which is quite abstract – did she have much of an idea of what it was she was saying? OLLY: Yeah! Well, I said to her that she was the queen of androids. She’s sort of like the mother of Palo Santo, so she’s like this omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent – all three – character within Palo Santo, but she’s also kind of serving a poetic Beyoncé voiceover in ‘Lemonade’. So I told her all of that, and I think she was a bit like, “What the fuck?” But she loved it. She was like, “Are you telling me I’m old? Like an old android?” And I was like, “No!” So she was a bit upset about that. But she killed it!

CDM: Back when you were acting, Olly, you played quite a few innocent or corrupted boys dealing with something traumatic, however your character in ‘Palo Santo’ is more powerful and strong, even though he’s in a subordinate role. How much of an impact did being cast in those sorts of roles have on how you saw yourself, and are you trying to push back against that image of yourself now? OLLY: I mean, you put it in a really good way, actually. When you’re acting, you’re just taking the world that you’re given and you don’t really have much choice in the matter. In that sense, I found it quite creatively stifling, because you’re just doing someone else’s work and you’re playing [roles] other people are putting you into. But even when I look at the music videos we did for ‘Communion’, like ‘King’… I guess by the time we got to ‘Worship’ it had shifted, but in all our music videos, I’m getting thrown around, or beaten up, or in ‘Shine’ a building collapses on me. I got more and more dissatisfied with being passive, and I think part of the reason I wanted to make a film of ‘Palo Santo’ was so that I could embody a character I would want to be.

CDM: The film has a pretty ambiguous ending, with your character onstage, unable to sing. Will we get to see more of this world, will it be expanded? OLLY: Yes, it will be. As soon as the label give us more money! <laughs> MIKEY: It’s expensive, Palo Santo.

CDM: When can we expect to FINALLY have you play in New Zealand? Because there was the whole situation in 2016 with the cancelled shows… OLLY: I know… It wasn’t our fault! MIKEY: Wait, what happened with that again? OLLY: It was the Ellie Goulding support slot. [The band had to pull out of the Australia and New Zealand leg of Ellie Goulding’s Delirium tour due to logistical difficulties.] MIKEY: Oh, sorry, yeah! My family bought tickets, so I owe them all, like, a hundred quid. There’s talk of next year. I mean, don’t quote me on this, which you will. <laughs> But there’s talk of Oceania/Asia vibes next year. That would make sense. I can pretty much 100% say we won’t be in New Zealand this year. OLLY: I really hope when we go that we get some actual time to spend there, and not just, like, one day. MIKEY: Yeah, it’s beautiful. One of the best-looking countries.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Pitching a Fit (Coda to 13x17)

So, I couldn't watch the episode live because some network decided to air a baseball game instead of the regularly scheduled programming. Instead, have this baseball inspired one-shot on why the Winchesters paused their search for ingredients. Because they got tickets to go see a baseball game. So rather than investigating an old Men of Letter's bunker and seeing what happened to Gabriel... the boys get to take Cas to his first sporting event - where things happen. (AO3)

           “Seriously, a baseball game?”

           Dean pinned Sam with a dour look, daring him to say more. The effect was lost on the younger Winchester, who’s suffered under worse threats with more follow through. Not only that, but the image of Cas playing with an old foam finger in the rearview mirror was very distracting.

           “I’m just sayin’,” Sam sighs, leaning against the passenger seat, “There’s probably more we can be doing than watching a couple of people chase a ball for hours.”

           “Like what?” Dean asks him, “We already have the blood and the fruit… I think that deserves a break.”

           “What about the Seal of Solomon!” Sam says, “Or… or the archangel grace –“

           “Sam,” Cas interrupts, “While I understand your worry, I have to agree with Dean. We can take some time for ourselves… and with Dean’s Cave out of service for the time being –“

           “Dean Cave, Cas, s’not possess –“

           “I think this is a great alternative,” he finishes, leaning between the brothers, “You do know they call this ‘America’s favorite pastime’?” The air quotes laughable because of the extra-long appendage. But while Sam chokes back a chuckle, Dean just fixes a soft gaze on the angel.

           Sam rolls his eyes, ‘Of course.’

           “Anyway, the game should be starting soon,” Dean says, opening the door, “I don’t wanna miss the first inning.”

           “Wouldn’t be different than the other eight,” Sam says, following him out with a tired smile. Dean races ahead, unable to contain his excitement any longer. Ever since returning from Scooby-Doo he’s been like this – more open and childlike.

           Like now, weaving between other fans, dipping out of sight the closer he gets to the entrance. Dean and baseball had a long history. Where wrestling was something he and their dad shared, baseball was Bobby’s thing. They would play catch every time they visited, staying up late to watch games together, and even one summer day Bobby managed to score three nosebleeds for a Minor League game.

           They were pit stops of good memories on the tragic highway that was their lives.

           “It’s nice to see him this excited,” Cas pipes up from behind, “I wonder what he’ll look like when he realizes I have the tickets.”

           Sam blinks at him, smirking. “How did Dean even manage to get tickets?” he asks him.

           “He didn’t,” Cas smiles at him, “I did. While at the mall, Dean and I happened across a booth of chance. There were many prizes, and the grand one was a pack of tickets. Dean played but… he only won the finger,” Cas twists his wrist, showing it off, “He looked… so disappointed. I did what I had to and… pushed things to my favor.”

           “You’re too good for him,” Sam says, punching Cas lightly on the shoulder, “Come on, we might as well catch up to him before he pitches a fit at the gate.”

           Cas whacks him with the finger, “Yes. Let’s.”

           They find Dean near the entrance, tapping his foot impatiently while he waits. When Sam and Cas get closer, Dean makes a scene of expressing his impatience. Sam shoves at his head while Cas produces the tickets for the girl working, and lets them in without much of a fuss.

           And when they get to the seats, Sam realizes why he was excited. The three of them were in very good seats – with only one letter before the number and not three. Nine-year-old Sam would kill to have seats like this. And 35-year-old Sam might be killed by the people behind these seats.

           “Awesome, right?” Dean asks, plopping down, “The best seat Cas’s mojo can buy!”

           Cas sits to his left, rolling his eyes, chuckling. Dean pats the seat next to him, “C’mon, saved you the empty one. That way you don’t annoy anyone but me with your moose legs.”

           “Shut up,” Sam says, sitting next to him. He doesn’t do anything but blush when Dean looks at him with raised brows – Sam’s knees crushed by the seat in front of him. Thankfully, the announcer starts up and cuts Dean off before he could say anything.

           After that, Dean practically ignores him for the rest of the game. And it’s not like his eyes are glued to the field, either. Sam pays more attention to it, and baseball is his third favorite sport (after soccer and hockey). No, all of Dean’s focus is pinned to the foam-finger wearing angel in the trench coat.

           Who is politely chatting with the perky redhead sitting next to him, oblivious to Dean’s glare. Sam caught it from the corner of his eye, when she sat down – it was hard not to. But then her eyes latched on to Cas, and Sam could tell where her mind had drifted. So did Dean.

           It’s a good thing they had to leave their weapons in the car.

           “That’s really funny,” she giggled, flipping her hair over her shoulder and laying her hand on Cas’s shoulder, “I’m real glad you won those tickets.”

           “Thank you,” Cas says, “It is a funny story, when you think about it.”

           “A real laugh riot,” Dean grumbles, jerking Cas’s coat, “Hey, Cas, have you noticed…” he goes off on a tangent, pointing to the field somewhere. The angel listens attentively, leaning closer to better hear Dean’s words (‘Good use of whispering, Dean,’). Sam glances over, catching the irritated expression on the girl’s face.

           ‘And this was supposed to be relaxing,’

           It carries on for at least three more innings after that: Dean and the redhead playing tug-of-war with Cas, who was too nice to say anything. When the redhead calls Cas over to look at something on her phone, Sam notices the jumbotron cut from an ad to a large shot of the audience. Familiar music starts to play, and he realizes what’s going on before the oversized heart overlays the shot.

           “What’s going on?” he hears Cas ask. Dean starts to answer, before the girl talks over him.

           “It’s the Kiss Cam, silly? Haven’t you ever seen one?” she asks, pointing at it, where an elderly couple was putting on a show, “If you and some lucky girl get put up there, you have to kiss.”

           “Really?” Cas blinks, Dean fuming behind him, “Those are the rules?”

           She smirks, leaning in close, “Totally! I mean – look! What are the odds?”

           Sam stares wide-eyed as the girl and a confused Cas are reflected on the large screen, chants of ‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ in the background.

           “C’mon,” redhead says, “Rules are rules…” she starts to lean in, puckering her lips. Sam waits with baited breath, watching to see what happens. He’s so focused on how frozen Cas looks, he completely misses a red-faced Dean swinging an arm around Cas’s shoulders.

           “Except,” Dean starts, not making eye contact, “If one person is in a relationship with another. Then you can’t touch Miss… missy.” Redhead glares openly at them, leaning back. Dean looks satisfied for three seconds before he sees the camera shift a scant few inches, focused now on himand Cas.

           ‘Now this,’ Sam thinks, grinning, ‘Is entertainment.’

           The chants haven’t quieted, instead growing louder and more impatient. Dean licks his lips, looking everywhere before settling on Cas. The angel is silent, watching, waiting for Dean’s next move.

           Dean tries to speak, but can’t get anything out except mangled words and curses. Cas laughs, nodding as if he understood the sentence the older Winchester strung together. Which, he probably did. Sam might have grown up with him, but Cas seemed to get Dean better than anyone else.

           So Cas knew Dean, with thousands of eyes on him, would probably need a little help getting the baseball rolling.

           That must be why he closed the distance between them, and cupped (as best he could with a foam finger) Dean’s face in his hands. It was a heavy kiss, overflowing with years of tension and passion. But when Sam looked at the screen, all he could see was that damned foam finger.

           ‘Cas’s plan all along,’ Sam smirked, glancing once more at the duo before Cas pulled back. Dean’s face broke into a grin, eyes glazed and unfocused. Cas leaned back into his seat, laying his free hand on Dean’s knee.

           The camera moved on, finding another couple, but their kiss still hung in the air. Sam watched Dean for any sign of life behind the eyes, hoping Cas didn’t kill his brother. When Dean shifted his eyes over to Sam, he could see him becoming more aware of his surroundings. He tensed; ready to bolt if Cas weren’t squeezing his knee. The scene could play out in any way, but it was up to Sam to decide which one.

           “I just have one question,” he says, looking between Dean and Cas, trying to hide his smile, “…Which one of you is the pitcher, and which one of you is the catcher?”

           Dean flushes pink and sinks into his seat, muttering out a weak “Shut up, bitch.” Cas blinks at him, tilting his head.

           “We don’t play baseball, Sam,” he says, oblivious. Sam snorts as Dean scrubs a hand down his face.

           “No, Cas,” Dean starts, “Sam’s just try’na be clever.”

           Sam says, “It’s a euphemism.”

           “But what could you be,” his eyes light up, “Oh, you’re talking about sex.” Dean groans, trying to disappear into the seat, “If you really are curious, Sam I must apologize but we haven’t reached that part. Although from conversations with others I’ve heard Dean would most prefer being the ‘catcher’.”

           Dean shoots up, “Who the hell said that?” Sam tunes them out, rather intent on focusing on the game rather than the people Cas have discussed Dean’s sexual preferences with. Although from time to time he does peek over, beaming at the flustered, exasperated, and adoring look on Dean’s face as he argues with Cas.

           ‘Maybe baseball isn’t that bad,’ Sam thinks, ‘As long as there are angels in the outfield…’

[aion-rsa]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Episode 5: Marvel and MCU Easter Eggs

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This article contains The Falcon and the Winter Soldier episode 5 spoilers, and possibly more for future episodes and the wider MCU.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier episode 5, “Truth,” is another somewhat transitional episode for the series. Big action at the beginning, some heartbreaking reveals in the middle, and then plenty of bonding and moving pieces around for the finale for the rest of the episode. Oh yeah, and one absolutely awesome use of The Meters’ “Hey Pocky A-Way.”

Anyway, let’s dig into the MCU and Marvel Comics references we’ve found so far. And remember, if you spot anything we missed, let us know in the comments!

“Truth”

The episode title is taken from Truth: Red, White, and Black, the 2003 miniseries that introduced the concept of Isaiah Bradley and told his tragic story. It references those events extensively, too…

Isaiah Bradley

Much of what Isaiah recounts to Sam during their heart-to-heart is very similar to the events of Truth: Red, White, and Black. Here, we assume that the events described took place approximately during the Korean War rather than World War II, but the effect is the same, and equally horrific. Things ended differently and perhaps even more tragically for Isaiah in the comics, where a combination of the serum and years of experimentation left him barely functional.

Isaiah makes mention of the “Red Tails”, which was the nickname for Tuskegee Airmen, a group of primarily Black fighter pilots in World War II. Despite fighting for the U.S. military, they were subject to racism within the army and in civilian life.

Presumably, the woman writing him letters while he was imprisoned is Faith Shabazz, who was his wife in the comics and similarly never gave up on him. However, there she survived to see his release, while in the MCU, she didn’t.

Sam’s visits to Isaiah stand in stark contrast to how this played out in the comics, when it was Steve who learned about Isaiah and came to honor him, but by then Isaiah’s mind was gone.

John Walker

When fighting Walker, Falcon and Bucky nearly snapped his arm right off in order to remove the shield. Understandably, Walker spent much of the episode with his arm in a sling. In the comics, Walker had a more dire arm injury, losing both an arm and a leg in a fight against Nuke (who we saw a version of on Jessica Jones). During this time, Walker refused any cybernetic replacements and instead resigned himself to a wheelchair. Not that it hindered him, as he was still able to kick ass as the warden of the Raft.

The fight with John taking on Sam and Bucky simultaneously feels like another inversion from Captain America: Civil War, where Steve and Bucky fight Iron Man. The end of it, with Sam reluctantly picking up the bloodstained shield, is one of the most powerful images in MCU history.

In the comics, Walker wasn’t permanently stripped of his Captain America role after killing (which he did in gruesome fashion, to the tune of several members of the extremist Watchdogs group after they murdered his parents). In fact the government even tried to help cover it up for a while, and temporarily put a leash on him. They did formally take the title from him a little later, but it was specifically to give it back to Steve Rogers, who initially refused before Walker himself prevailed upon Cap to take up the shield again. In any case, Walker suffers more consequences here than most authority figures do when they find themselves in the public eye for doing the wrong thing…

Holy moley, Wyatt Russell sure sounds EXACTLY like his dad Kurt during that Court-Martial scene. In particular, his line about “not like I’m gonna disappear” is a nice acknowledgment that John Walker is probably going to have a future in the MCU as U.S. Agent.

Speaking of which…

Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Contessa Valentine Allegra de Fontaine

Your eyes do not deceive you, that is the brilliant Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld, Veep) as Jim Steranko creation Contessa Valentine Allegra de Fontaine. She sure does appear to be doing some recruitment here, and with word that she’s also appearing in Black Widow, we get the feeling this means she’s putting together a team of her own. Dark Avengers and/or Thunderbolts, here we come! We wrote more about that intriguing possibility here.

Interestingly enough, the “legal gray area” she refers to about Captain America’s shield not belonging to the government is in fact a detail from the pages of Marvel Comics. It’s one of the things that led to Steve having to give up the title of Captain America (along with the shield) and that opened the door for John Walker to take over. Although the argument the government used at the time was that the costume and shield had been designed by employees of the federal government, and thus those belonged to them, and that technically Steve had never been discharged from the Army. Presumably, the “legal grey area” here may have something to do with Steve’s disappearance and resurrection and/or how the government may have cut ties with former organizations like the SSR (which later became SHIELD) after it was revealed they had been infiltrated by HYDRA. Or something like that.

Zemo

After a quick escape from the Dora Milaje, Zemo visits the Sokovian memorial he mentioned to Sam and Bucky in episode 4. It seems he knew that he wouldn’t get far, and had accepted he’d be back behind bars imminently. The fact that we’re disappointed to see him exit says a lot about Daniel Bruhl’s acting throughout the series, though we doubt we’ve seen the last of the charismatic character.

Zemo’s philosophical conversation with Sam about his scorched earth policy on supersoldiers in episode 4 pays off in our main duo’s favor in episode 5 when Zemo reveals he no longer has any interest in killing Bucky. Bucky then proves to Zemo that he has become much more than the Winter Soldier, but not before giving him a scare that quickly becomes relief, then disappointment when Bucky reveals there are no bullets in his gun. The Raft better have some good therapists, or this man’s gonna change up his reading material from Machiavelli to Zapffe. [Please stop inserting these philosophy references into our Easter eggs – Ed] [No <3 – Kirsten]

Sam Wilson

We’re explicitly told that Steve revealed his retirement plans to Bucky before he went back in time to replace the Infinity Stones in Avengers: Endgame. Bucky apologizes, saying that neither he or Steve fully thought through the ramifications of passing on the shield to Sam. 

It looks like Bucky had the Wakandans make Sam a custom Captain America suit. If you haven’t seen it yet (the toys have already been on the shelves), all we’re gonna say is that it’s genuinely one of the coolest superhero costume designs of the modern era. You can see it here if you want, we just don’t want to spoil it for those who are really waiting. Sam’s gonna look great in the red, white, and blue.

Torres is the New Falcon?

Sam tells Torres to keep his old, broken wings. It seems inevitable that Torres will fix ‘em up, as in the pages of Marvel Comics he becomes the new Falcon. 

Batroc

Looks like we’re gonna get a rematch with Batroc (ze leaper!!!) in the final episode of the series. Sam also took on Batroc in one of his first adventures as Captain America, in the pages of All-New Captain America by Rick Remender and Stuart Immonen. More Batroc is good for everyone, but more relevant to that series and what’s coming next.

Is Sharon Carter the Power Broker?

So Sharon got Batroc out of jail and is helping to connect him with the Flag-Smashers…for some reason. So either she’s the Power Broker (as everyone has suspected) or this is a fakeout and she’s just doing this to manipulate Sam into picking up the shield and becoming Captain America. Maybe she’s doing that with Steve’s blessing?

Also, the painting that we see when we first flash to Sharon’s lair is the painting that Bucky smashes through in the flashback in E1, I think. 

The GRC

The GRC is tasked with resettling 20 million…MILLION refugees worldwide. Would anyone care to guess how many refugees were resettled worldwide in the entire world at the all-time peak in 2016? 189,000.

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a list of semi coherent thoughts I’ve had about mcu wanda maximoff

0.5 this post is open to discourse. if u are unwilling to see viewpoints that are pro wanda or anti wanda this is not the post 4 u.

1. wanda runs off of very powerful emotions and that’s an a + character trait. her rage fueled grief and power is just fascinating to watch.

2. ew whitewashing why do you do this to me mcu. stop. enough.

3. yeah it’s kind of ridiculous to kill the ex-ceo of a weapons company that killed your parents as compared to whoever fired the missiles or whoever ordered said military action but it’s not that ridiculous if you apply the barest modicum of generous interpretation to it.

Tony Stark was emblematic of the very destructive American ideal of we’re great and right and coming with guns. Going off of IM2, even as he was doing great things (”I’ve successfully privatized world peace”) his performance was still very um American (”no one’s man enough to go [against me]”). Like as audience members we get it but I could see how that sort of look-at-me attitude would not ring like redemption to someone in that much emotional pain. Like, you could easily read their actions as being about attacking every American/foreign influence figure head, which is sort of supported by the fact that the twins wanted the avengers down not just Tony Stark.

If the weapons were illegally sold there’s no guarantee the twins knew that Tony wasn’t responsible. It’s possible Tony leaked the truth about Obadiah after the “I Am Iron Man” press conference, but the original plan was a SHIELD coverup.

I’m not inclined to conflate profiting of our wrongs or moral ambiguities on the same moral level as instigating wrongs, but it’s also up in the air whether or not Stark Industries cared about collateral damage in the design of their weapons and that’s something the twins could legitimately blame them for. IM1 canon is a mixed bag - we have intellicrops (concern for philanthropy) but we also have, y’know the Jericho (the weapon that levels mountains)

(read more under the cut)

tl;dr: wanda is a fascinating flawed character who suffers from writing problems but she’s also wearing the name of a jewish/romani woman even though marvel studios is too much of a coward to translate that to film & i’m perpetually bitter and indecisive about everything.

4. the twins had enormous social factors encouraging them to hate the avengers/america. even american media was questioning the avengers; shield had fell; people were putting up anti avengers graffiti

5. considering the twins spent their formative years in a country at war and lost their parents I’m assuming they went through quite a few economic hardships.

6. what sort of access did the twins have to media or education?

7. I’m not inclined to blame the twins for their desire to get revenge but it is worth noting that they seemed to have very little concern for collateral damage even though the only thing we as an audience knows for certain is that the whole reason they’re seeking revenge is because of collateral damage.

8. there’s a gap of 8-12 years between the death of their parents and their attack on the avengers. no matter what mitigating circumstances there were (and I think there were a lot) that’s a premeditated crime

9. there’s a lot of parallels between wanda maximoff and kira nerys except the writers on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine actually cared about Kira Nerys.

10. both of Wanda’s major fuck ups (willingly unleashing the Hulk on Johannesburg and failing to protect everyone in Lagos) happened in African countries. I believe in some suspension of belief for superhero movies but I’m not sure it’s entirely appropriate to be like hey! look at Wanda! the whitewashed character who fucks things up in African countries! such girl power! great anti-imperialism message!

(I mean, the same disregard applies to all the avengers though. I’m pretty sure the safest interpretation of Lagos is “the avengers could have done better by not fighting in proximity with a bunch of civilians” which is on Steve. And unless I fever dreamed this Steve tosses his cowl at the feet of anti-avengers graffiti in the beginning of aou and there is nothing appropriate about that).

11. Wanda was introduced in AOU, a movie with sub par dialogue and tbh I have a feeling Whedon et.al never thought through the implications of Johannesburg bc he just wanted a convenient way to introduce a hulkbuster fight.

12. tbh I really want a scarlet witch movie to fix all of this but I also really want a recast and I know I won’t get either (fanon wanda is the best because we can fix all of this with a hammer).

13. CA:CW seemed to draw on a lot of Wanda’s comic history (specifically in the oppression metaphors) but since it followed the clusterfuck that was AOU I can’t exactly give them a standing ovation for that.

14. ca:cw did a very bad job following through wanda’s plot threads from aou. tbh I’m not even team we need to stretch Wanda’s redemption arc further but idk, it might be nice if she mentioned her dead brother or tied the Lagos incident/Sokovia accords to, idk, her past living in a war zone.

15. ca:cw could’ve given me wanda wryly commenting on how luxurious the compound was compared to sokovia but instead it gave the should-be-jewish character a cross in her bedroom and fuck that marvel why don’t you just stake me through the heart so I don’t have to deal with your bullshit

16. I wish wanda in the airport scene was more about her desire to do good (go stop the supersoldiers) than the awkward oppression metaphor

17. although push come to shove I would’ve focused on poverty/american foreign intervention over calling the powers she volunteered for the source of her oppression the whole raft scene does demonstrate that people whose powers (or even training) cannot be separated like say Sam and the Falcon or Tony and the suits face a special criminal justice risk.

but this isn’t really relevant to the accords, which are not the SHRA and honestly the same ethical problem of how to incarcerate enhanced people exists whether or not someone is acting as a superhero (is it ethical to put a psychic murderer in solitary confinement if that’s the only way to prevent them from using their powers to escape or assault guards?)

18. according to beta canon/film subtext wanda & pietro did not willingly sign up to work with hydra. Just good to remember.

19. I will forever be attached to the idea of wanda liking Vision’s company because he is both practically invulnerable (not going to get shot 7 times on a floating city) and emotionally dependent on her support (just like Pietro). (this is not implying twincest btw)

20. I think wanda’s house arrest in ca:cw is not completely unreasonable (she’s probably awaiting investigation & is at risk of being hurt/hurting others from mob violence) but definitely steve (and probably natasha & sam) should be under house arrest as well. but they aren’t, and I think it’s fair to say that in universe that’s xenophobia/anti-immigrant sentiment. why be afraid of the american icon when you can be afraid of the poor sokovian woman?

21. antis make way too much of the whole “she’s just a kid line”. like steve was responding to tony calling her, a human being, a weapon of mass destruction. like, he was just trying to humanize her and calling the youngest person in a group a kid even when they’re an adult isn’t that strange.

22. in lagos wanda was trying so damn hard to stop that bomb and yes she didn’t manage it but blaming her instead of steve? uh gross.

23. how much experience does she have? yes tony stark throwing himself into superheroics worked out surprisingly well but superheroes need training

24. I insist marvel release a 22 page dissertation on wanda’s mind powers but also if I don’t like it I’ll call it not canon. (my initial theory was that she produces ptsd symptoms - even if the person normally doesn’t suffer from ptsd - but something in the confidence that she can manipulate tony before entering his mind makes me think she has slight suggestive abilities beyond fear and also thor’s vision arguably followed a different vein)

25. antis like to argue that the maximoffs only turned on ultron because it benefited them but let’s be clear the maximoffs fought ultron because they thought he was wrong and wanted to personally help. they could’ve just tipped off the avengers and left or left ultron to do whatever ultron was going to do and only fought him if he directly came after them okay the twins had options and they chose the most altruistic option.

26. ppl who say wanda isn’t really whitewashed because marvel’s decades of retcons have whitewashed her at past points are pretty much using a two-wrongs argumentative fallacy.