#sam even mains bloodhound and i thought it would be a good opportunity to bring up that i identify as agender and yeah
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#don’t reblog#pls don’t i will block you if you do#delete later#so anyways i’m full of feelings and in a bad mental place rn and i have litteraly no place to vent except here#you know apex legends? the new fortnight?#so there is a nb character named bloodhound- cononically nb uses they/them#and my bf and his little bro (sam) play it#sam even mains bloodhound and i thought it would be a good opportunity to bring up that i identify as agender and yeah#i told it casually as if it was a fun fact#and they went like ‘ew is that a hermaphrodite’#me:yikes#i explained to the that no- they’re just genderless and even though they’re voiced by a woman and have he/him pronouns in german#they kinda shrugged it of and continued#but i noticed that sam stopped to play as bloodhound as main and switchet to another character#it doesn’t help that i had a discussion with my bf before where he admittet that i’m no longer attractive to him#bc i no longer present myself as woman/feminine#i mean....... obviously! i don’t like that people think of me as a girl#because i’m not a girl#i’m nb#i’m agender#i don’t feel right and confortable presenting as female#and it went on and on that i have to put more ‘effort’ in the way i look aka. be feminine again#also that i look unkept and neglected#which i. am. not.#i shower daily do my hair and wear fresh clothes!!!#who cares that i have acne and don’t use make up anymore#ayways what can i say except: big yikes#back to the closet#i swear i have to break up for my own sanity but i’m. not. ready!!!! we’ve been together for 8years ffs#fml
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