#sam etime next year

[alyssalikestoreadbooks]

Same Time Next Year - Tessa Bailey

"Adored by all, Britta is an ambitious waitress working at Sluggers. The popular bar holds a special place in her heart and is a regular hangout for the Bridgeport Bandits, the local hockey club. With a half brother on the team, Britta has a strict no-dating policy for hockey boys. But she does have a soft spot for one particular player.

A beast on the ice, Sumner Mayfield is on the brink of breaking into the NHL. But time’s running out. With his work visa about to expire, Sumner’s only chance to stay in Bridgeport is to marry an American—and get a green card. Otherwise, it’s back to Canada for the defenseman.

On New Year’s Eve, the team begs Britta to marry Sumner that very night. Sum is embarrassed yet hopeful—he’s desperately in love. But Britta balks at first. Until something about Sumner’s soulful brown eyes and ripped physique makes her reconsider…"

Listen Date - July 2024

Length - 144 pages

Genre - Romance,  Sports Romance, Novella

Rating - 4/10

Stars - ★★★☆☆

Notes - Wow! My first audiobook! I actually found it hard to connect at first because I thought it’d be like watching something in the background, but I really have to focus when listening. So far I really like the book. The dynamic between Sumner and Britta is different from other books i’ve read, and I like how it stands out. The drama between Sumner’s work visa expiring and not being around the Britta anymore is interesting, and adds drama to the story. The proposition of Britta and Sumner getting married for his visa is so interesting, and i love a good fake marriage trope. I love that the family trauma is brought out. The spice of this book is brought out from the second chapter (very lightly) and it literally had me going “woooahhh okay” because I just wasn’t expecting it. Britta is so funny. I love the conversation she has with Sumner about marriage. You can tell she’s very afraid to open up, but she’s willing to do so for the green card. she HAS to in order to not get charged with fraud-- she has to get to know this man. The smut in this book is a little bit constant with Sumner, and I’m not really into it, i’m not gonna lie. I have no motivation with them yet, so it all feels very preempted. It’s in my face and I don’t know why because I barely know these characters. The time skips are a bit much for me (like the distance in the passage of time) but it makes sense why Tessa did this. Britta realizing she’s crushing on Sumner is really cute and I think their relationship dynamic is adorable. They’re there for each other, even when they don’t want to be necessarily. The conversation about Sumner’s grandparents was really heartfelt and sad, and it makes sense why both Britta and Sumner don’t have family in the seats. Britta because she’s scared to BE his family, and Sumner because of his grandmother’s death. I love how overprotective Sumner is over Britta, and it’s honestly done in a way that isn’t controlling or aggressive for once! Very very nice. The conversation at the concert is sooooo smutty and I’m finally starting to like it, like I finally understand why the characters should be together. The concert scene is sooo yummy and well written. I love how Sumner offers to commit to Britta in a different way, which gives her comfort in the relationship. It makes the sex between them make more sense in the end. I’ve gotta say.... listening to smut in audiobooks is very awkward! They are out here moaning on these tapes!! The writing is very good however, though i could do with a little more perspective from Britta. I’m genuinely glad that there’s no miscommunication trope at play here, and everyone properly talks to each other to work through the tough emotions. The talk of Britta’s trauma with relationships and meeting the family was actually really nice. There’s a little bit too much smut in my opinion, but I can see how somebody who likes spice would love a book like this. I’m just asexual! Sumner getting signed brought a lot of drama that i enjoyed, with Britta having to question where she stands in the relationship with her commitment issues. Britta going to the game where her father was showed how far she’s changed from the first chapters, when she was avoiding relationships and anything that reminded her of her dad. The last chapter is very cute, its a “couple month later” style epilogue where you get all the updates of their life, and we see how Britta has fully adapted to the relationship and is happy to be committed to Sumner. It’s a very sweet transition from the old Britta, and I just generally think that this was a VERY very cute story, i could just do without the spice levels it had. 

[amazythelsblogs]

Eating Disorder and Root

So after writing my previous post I realised that I may have been struggling with an eating disorder. But I feel I may have many many more disorders than I would care to admit. Psychosis, scitzophrenia, but this is just silly thinking, so let’s not waste time, shall we? Off we go into the and...

And that is how I have expertly over an dover again avoided self confrontation. How I have belittled my own feelings, thoughts and emotions, what a wonderful gift to have recieved from your spawner. In the social world, yes. I definetly think differently, in the mental health world, yes, I probably have many undiagnosed disorders, but as I am, I don’ tfin dit weird at all. it’ swhen people treat you differently based on what they see and what they hear from you that gives your writing, this slightly strange tone. I am very good at fronting, and painting little illusions for others, when I am not panting little illustrations on paper. The illusion of emotional maturity, the illusion of sofistication, or of perfection, or of wealth, I am a story teller, and smooth talker most times. I know how to work with energy. But me inside, I wish everyone woul dleave me alone. I hate the idea of people making up stories in their head about me and fantasising or creating some weird alternate narrativea about who I am and what my story is.

Just like i am Racially ambigious, borderline hybrid, I am ambigous in opinion, intention and direction. I want to be quiet but at the sam etime i want to sing louder than anything.

I love my roots but i hate them. I love being me but i think about ending her everyday at least once. Marilyn Monroe had the same. She was two people at once. So am I. And I get so confused, scared to make decisions, for fear of the effect hurting the other side of me. 

like getting a super great opportunit, that a part of me is happy about and the other part of me hates. Or changing opinions lie crazy, one day loving someone, next day hating their guts. 

It’s not indesiciveness, for me it sounds a lot like dissociative personality disorder. 

It’s like this;

I am walking down the beach in poland, 16 years old, in just my bikini. (This is a very raw example) I know poeple are looking at me, and I love the attention, but I know people are looking at me, seeing: black person, different; while others are thinking; curvy, beautiful, alluring, attractive; others are thinking; so jealous, she’s not that pretty, ew black. Mixed signals for mixed girl. It’s challenging. And annoying. Because one part of me, th einsecure part, is reassured by the gaze, the other part of me, the feminist or new age, feel sobjectified and doesn’t want to be th esubject of adult desires, neither does the little me. Polish people are very vocal about the mature stuff, an dI was used to it growing up, but it’s a bit weird then when it suddenly gets pivoted and directed towards you. And then you have to disguise your true self, the weird and expressive self, because you know it will shatter the strict an d exotic image they have painted of you in their minds. 

i hav ebeen tryingto fulfill expectations my whole life. And when I suddenly stopped providing like I used to,,, UPROAR!!!! Why aren’t you in Uni?! What are you gonna go now?!! I thought you were so perfect!!! No you’re sitting on Universal Credit? It’ sbeen a littl edifficult for m eto part ways with my room. Every time I relocate, I loose a part of myself. that I why now I am looking for a place where i can make my forever home, far away from judgement, societal expectations, fast paced lifestyles and cold tough love. 

My forever home. 

[wizardofrozz]

Echoes of the Past

Bucky Barnes x Super Soldier!Reader, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, mention of Natasha Romanoff, Alpine

Word Count: ~3k

Warnings: swearing, blood, smut (18!)

A/N: The song at the end is “I’m in the Mood for Love” (1935) by Frances Langford and again, I think I got the Russian right but let me know if there’s a mistake!

I’ve loved this entire journey from Dreaming of Better Days to here and I hope you guys have to 😊 

Chapter 9

1 year later

The last splashes of sunlight were dimming on the horizon as Sam lowered Steve to the roof, dropping down next to him as his wings folded in again. Bucky and (Y/N) stood side by side at the edge of the roof, close enough that their hands brushed as they looked over Istanbul, their most recent mission location. Steve pulled Sam to a stop, and when Sam looked over, he relaxed, shaking his head when he caught the soft smile lifting Steve’s scruffy face.

           “Yesli my priderzhivayemsya kraya goroda, my dolzhny byt’ chisty,” (If we keep to the edge of the city, we should be in the clear) Bucky sighed, and Sam rolled his eyes.

           “Mozhet, my smozhem poslat’ Sema, chtoby otvlech’,” (Maybe we can send Sam out as a distraction) (Y/N) countered, turning her head to look up at Bucky, the streetlights below illuminating her face.

           “Did she say my name?” Sam whispered, leaning closer to Steve.

           “Yep,” Steve snickered, watching Bucky look down at her with a smirk.

           “Somnevayus’ chto yemu eto ponravitsya,” (I doubt he’ll like that) Bucky snickered, reaching up to brush his knuckles across her cheek.

           “U nego yest’ kryl’ya,” (He has wings) (Y/N) argued, raising a brow at Bucky.

           “My razberemsya s etim,” (We’ll figure it out) Bucky laughed, dropping his hand, looking back out at the city as (Y/N) looked over her shoulder.

           “Look who finally showed up,” she announced, closing the space between them.

           “Why were you too talking about me?” Sam crossed his arms, popping a hip out, making (Y/N) cover her mouth to hold in a laugh.

           “Don’t worry about it, birdbrain,” (Y/N) giggled, glancing over her shoulder.

           “Play nice,” Steve sighed, pausing to kiss (Y/N)’s head before joining Bucky at the edge of the roof, throwing an arm over his best friend’s shoulders. (Y/N) looked over her shoulder to watch Bucky and Steve have a hushed conversation, Bucky’s eyes never ceasing their scan across the city.

           “Why does he always just stare?” Sam mumbled, raising a brow at (Y/N).

           “A sniper habit,” (Y/N) replied, keeping her eyes on Bucky.

           “What?” She looked over at Sam, her brows pulling together at the surprised expression on Sam’s face.

           “He’s a trained sniper, Sam,” she elaborated slowly.

           “Seriously?”

           “You didn’t know that,” (Y/N) snorted, quickly noticing his expression hadn’t changed. “Okay, apparently not. He got the rank of Sergeant after finishing sniper trainer.”

           “No, shit,” Sam breathed, staring at Bucky’s back.

           “I assumed you knew,” (Y/N) mumbled, her brows lifted towards her hairline as she shrugged. “Well, anyway, he stares off sometimes partly from his already established training and partly because the serum enhanced the abilities you have, so basically, he’s trying to take in all of his surroundings as fast as possible. He sometimes forgets that staring off into space silently can be considered rude.”

           “I don’t forget,” Bucky cut in, strolling closer with Steve in tow, “I choose to ignore people.”

           “I was trying to defend you,” (Y/N) huffed, rolling her eyes.

           “Hey, don’t make me out to better than I am,” Bucky chuckled, wrapping his arms around (Y/N)’s neck, resting his chin on her head.

           “Shut up,” she scolded playfully, reaching up to tug on a piece of his hair.

           “Enough flirting, you two,” Steve mumbled, trying to sound grumpy even though, secretly, he couldn’t be happier about seeing his two best friends together again. “Let’s finish this so we can go to bed.” Steve smacked Bucky on the shoulder and started for the edge of the roof again.

           “Staryy muzhchina,” (Old man) (Y/N) whispered, sending Bucky into a laughing fit.

           “I heard that!” Steve yelled over his shoulder.

           “Good!” (Y/N) laughed, leaning her head against Bucky’s that was now resting on her shoulder as he tried to muffle his laughter.

The team stumbled into Steve and Sam’s motel room after finally getting the trackers on the four box trucks carrying more Chitauri weapons. Steve and Sam dropped into the chairs surrounding the small table by the window while Bucky lowered (Y/N) onto the edge of one of the beds, trying to avoid hitting the wound on her leg.

           “Stay,” Bucky ordered, pointing at her for emphasis.

           “Yes, sir,” (Y/N) mocked, giving him a sloppy salute which earned her a dirty look. Bucky disappeared into the bathroom, drawing the other’s attention when it sounded like a bomb went off.

           “You good, Buck?” Steve yelled, not bothering to open his eyes.

           “I think I broke the medicine cabinet,” Bucky replied, poking his head out, looking adorably guilty.

           “What the hell did you do,” Sam sighed, propelling himself to his feet.

           “All I did was open it,” Bucky insisted, holding his hands up, stepping out of the bathroom to let Sam in.

           “It looks like you ripped the damn thing off the wall!” Sam shouted, making Bucky flinch. Steve finally opened his eyes and looked over at (Y/N), who was biting her knuckle to keep from laughing, only to lose it when Steve looked at her. They erupted in hysterical giggles, exhaustion playing a role in their uncontrollable laughter as they both bent forward, hiding their faces.

           “I didn’t mean to,” Bucky tried again, pulling the corners of his mouth down in an exaggerated frown in an attempt to hide his growing amusement.

           “Here, asshole,” Sam grunted, tossing the first aid kit at Bucky. The plastic box bouncing off the super-soldier’s chest only fueled the other two’s laughter, leaving them gasping for air. Bucky picked up the first aid kit and dropped to his knees in front of (Y/N), a slight smirk lingering as he watched her try and calm down. Once (Y/N) and Steve got a hold of themselves, Bucky shuffled forward, beckoning (Y/N) closer to the edge of the bed.

           “Just cut the pant leg,” (Y/N) insisted, a few lingering giggles bubbling out.

           “You sure?” Bucky hummed, looking through his lashes.

           “The suits ruined anyway,” (Y/N) sighed, shifting her eyes to Steve again.

           “Already texted Nat,” Steve confirmed before she could open her mouth.

           “Thanks, Stevie,” (Y/N) beamed. Bucky had started to cut through the fabric, flaying it out until he got to the stab wound in the meat of her thigh.

           “I told you to be careful,” Bucky hissed, tracing the edge of the jagged cut.

           “I know,” (Y/N) grumbled, rolling her eyes, more irritated with herself than Bucky.

           “Hold onto my shoulder,” Bucky ordered, lifting her hand to rest on his left shoulder, “I’d prefer not to get punched in the face this time.”

           “It was an accident,” (Y/N) whined, rolling her eyes.

           “Mhmm,” Bucky hummed, biting his lip to try and stop his smile. “Ready?”

           “No,” (Y/N) huffed, tightening her grip on his shoulder. The antiseptic felt like liquid fire was being poured into her wound, and she had to stop herself from biting off her tongue as she held back the scream burning in her throat.

           “The worst is over,” Bucky announced, pressing a piece of gauze to her wound and dropping a quick kiss to her lips. “I’ll bandage this up after you shower, but we should head over to our room before Steve falls asleep sitting up.”

           “I’m awake,” Steve argued even though his head was thrown back, and his eyes were closed.

           “Yeah, get out before you break more shit,” Sam yelled from the bathroom where he was still cleaning up the remains of the medicine cabinet.

           “I said I was sorry,” Bucky huffed under his breath, wiping off (Y/N)’s leg.

Once Bucky finished cleaning up (Y/N)’s injury, the pair gathered their things and shouted their goodnights from the door as Bucky helped (Y/N) next door to their room. He gently set her on the edge of the king bed, leaving her for a moment to riffle through their duffle bags. Bucky tossed the clean clothes into the bathroom before scooping (Y/N) up, carrying her bridal style to the bathroom.

           “You know, I’m perfectly capable of showering on my own,” (Y/N) giggled, twirling a piece of his hair around her finger.

           “But you’re injured, doll,” Bucky whispered, looking down at her with huge, almost innocent eyes. (Y/N) could see the hint of hunger lingering in his blue eyes, and she smiled, carding her fingers through his hair.

           “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have some help,” (Y/N) relented, trying to keep her smile under control. Bucky’s innocent expression shifted, his eyes growing dark as he set her down again, his hands never leaving her body. The water beating against the shower tiles drowned out their heavy breathing as they fumbled to rid the other of their clothes, pausing every so often to catch the other’s lips in a heated kiss.

Bucky helped (Y/N) climb into the shower, his hand running over her hip as he stepped in behind her, pressing his warm chest to her back. She let out a heavy sigh, leaning her head back against Bucky’s shoulder, humming when his nose skimmed along her neck. The hot water cleaned away the dirt and tiny bit of blood, loosening the couple’s tense muscles; Bucky’s hands slowly moved over (Y/N)’s stomach as he kissed a trail from her ear to her shoulder. (Y/N) arched into him when he bit down on her shoulder, a strangled cry echoing off the shower walls.

Bucky growled against her skin, rutting against her, his hard length slipping between her things, dragging against her slick folds. Bucky panted against her shoulder, continuing to slowly thrust between her legs, driving (Y/N) partly insane; he was so close, the tip catching like he was going to sink into her, only for Bucky to pull away. (Y/N) tried to reach between her legs and position him where she wanted him, but a hand closed around her wrist, stopping her just short.

           “Need something?” Bucky whispered, his voice wavering slightly, his hips going still.

           “Stop teasing,” (Y/N) whimpered, trying to reach between her legs again with her free hand, only for Bucky to grab that one too. He brought her wrists together, his giant hand easily holding both, and his metal hand returned to her waist, gently tracing the curve of her body.

Bucky shifted his hips, barely pressing into her, “Is this what you want?”

           “Quit fuckin’ around,” she gasped, trying to push herself back onto him. (Y/N)’s head spun when he whirled her around to face him, trying to orient herself from the sudden movement. Bucky was on her instantly, crowding her against the tile, his tongue plunging into her mouth the second their lips met; she barely had time to catch up before Bucky was lifting her, guiding her legs around his waist as he devoured her. The pain from her injury was a dull ache, quickly overshadows by the arousal and the last bit of lingering adrenalin buzzing under her skin.

           “Oh, fuck,” Bucky groaned, pressing their foreheads together as he sank into her. (Y/N) held onto his shoulders, her fingers digging into his skin as she held herself still, panting against his parted lips. Without wasting any more time, Bucky started to move, thrusting up into her, forcing choked-off gasps and moans from her lips. She captured his lips again, swallowing Bucky’s whine when she clenched around him; she could feel the coil winding tighter as he repeatedly slammed into the spot deep inside her.

           “Oh,” she cried out at the sudden metal thumb swiping over her aching bundle of nerves.

           “Come on,” Bucky panted, his thrusts picking up pace as he chased his end, “cum for me, babydoll.” Bucky’s words paired with his husky voice triggered something, and she cried out, clenching around him as her orgasm took over; Bucky followed close behind, choking out a broken moan, burying himself as deep as he could. They stayed pressed together, panting in unison as they came down from their highs, (Y/N) slipping down the wall, her loose body sagging in exhaustion.

           “You’re incredible,” (Y/N) breathed, kissing the corner of Bucky’s mouth.

           “You got it backwards, doll,” Bucky chuckled weakly, his chest still heaving as he calmed down.

           “Oh, stop it,” she giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his long, wet hair.

           “Let’s get cleaned up and go to bed before you pass out right here,” Bucky hummed, stepping away from the wall.

(Y/N) could barely keep her eyes open as they finished their showers, but now that she was curled up against Bucky’s side on the worn motel mattress, she couldn’t sleep. Her mind kept wandering to how amazing it would be to have a comfortable bed to fall into each night or how nice it would be to get up and make breakfast instead of settling for fast food. Bucky’s breathing was shallower, but she knew he wasn’t completely asleep yet.

           “I think I’m ready,” (Y/N) suddenly said, surprising herself.

           “What?” Bucky slurred, his eyes cracking open to reveal a sliver of blue.

           “I think I’m ready,” she repeated with more conviction this time.

           “For?” Bucky mumbled, rolling his head to the side to look at her.

           “To go back to Wakanda,” (Y/N) whispered, staring into his sleepy eyes. She watched them brighten almost immediately as her words sunk in, and he blinked lamely for a moment.

           “You mean that?” Bucky whispered, sounding shy.

           “Yeah,” (Y/N) started, nodding once, “don’t you ever wish we had our own bed? I mean, how nice would it be to get up and have breakfast that we made. We could have our own place somewhere near the city, maybe with a porch so we could drink coffee and watch the sunrise. Maybe even adopt a cat,” (Y/N) finished weakly, dropping her eyes to her pillow. She waited for Bucky to say something, but her stomach rolled when he shifted next to her, propping himself up on an elbow, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

           “You want to retire?”

           “Well, uh, yeah, I guess. I mean, we earned it, haven’t we?” (Y/N) lifted her head to meet his eyes again, her heart racing as she waited for him to break the tension.

           “Hell yeah, we have,” Bucky sighed, slumping against his pillow with a wide smile. “Fuck, I’d leave right now if Steve and Sam didn’t need us.”

           “Really?” (Y/N) squeaked, her pulse fluttering with excitement. Bucky lunged for her, pinning her under his weight, hiding his face in her hair, a laugh rumbling in his chest.

           “As soon as we’re done, I think it’s time we go home, darlin’,” Bucky whispered, squeezing her tighter. (Y/N) nuzzled into his bare chest, finally relaxing, letting herself drift off to sleep, dreaming of all the possibilities for their future.

6 months later

The afternoon sun warmed (Y/N)’s backed as she unlocked the door, pushing it open, shooing the ball of white fluff back inside.

           “Hey, sweet girl,” she cooed, scratching between Alpine’s ears, shutting the door behind her. “Bucky! I’m home!” When she didn’t get an answer, she looked down at Alpine again, raising a brow at the cat, but Alpine only blinked her giant blues eyes. (Y/N) opened her mouth to call out again when she noticed the soft hum of music floating down the hall and urged Alpine to follow as she moved towards the sound. (Y/N) found Bucky sitting at the kitchen island, scrolling mindlessly on his laptop as the soft music filled the room.

           “Hey, handsome,” (Y/N) greeted, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

           “Hey, babydoll,” Bucky beamed, turning his head to press their lips together. “Do you remember what today is?”

           “Uh,” –(Y/N) leaned back to look at him better, racking her brain- “I honestly don’t know.”

           “You’re telling me after everything Hydra did to me, I have a better memory than you,” Bucky scoffed lightheartedly, covering one of her hands that was wrapped around his shoulders. When (Y/N) shrugged, still not remembering anything special about the date, Bucky shook his head, a soft smile spreading across his face. “It’s the anniversary of our prom night.” (Y/N)’s lips parted, her face softening, getting lost in the ocean eyes a few inches away, blinking when she felt tears welling up.

           “85 years ago,” (Y/N) laughed wetly, unwrapping her arms from around Bucky so she could cup his face.

           “Fuck, I feel old now,” Bucky huffed, deflating slightly. (Y/N) bent forward under the force of her laughter, resting her forehead against Bucky’s cheeks briefly before kissing him.

           “We are old,” (Y/N) chuckled, kissing him again. Bucky relaxed under her lips, smiling into the kiss, slowly getting to his feet; the room fell quiet as the last song ended, and Bucky pulled away when the melody of the next song started.

           “Dance with me, doll,” Bucky breathed, covering one of her hands with his.

           “Let’s see if you’ve still got it, big guy,” (Y/N) giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and squealing when Bucky spun her around. He set her on her feet and wrapped an arm around her back, pulling her close, holding a hand up; (Y/N) kept one arm around his neck and laced their fingers together, swaying along to the music.

           “I'm in the mood for love simply because you're near me,” Bucky sang along, turning (Y/N) in a slow circle. “Funny, but when you're near me, I'm in the mood for love.” The deep, rumbling of Bucky’s voice was right against her ear, and (Y/N) closed her eyes, getting lost in the sound.

           “Heaven is in your eyes, bright as the stars we're under. Oh, is it any wonder I'm in the mood for love,” (Y/N) whispered, smiling when Bucky squeezed her hand.

           “Why stop to think of whether this little dream might fade? We've put our hearts together now we are one, I'm not afraid,” Bucky sang, spinning them into the sunlight shining through the windows. Bucky tilted his head back to lock eyes with (Y/N), decades of love shining in the bright blue as the last verse started.

           “If there's a cloud above, if it should rain, we'll let it. But for tonight, forget it; I'm in the mood for love,” they finished together, their lips meeting on the last word.

Masterlist

Taglist: 

@itsafansworld07​ @youracidqueenmina​ @witch-of-letters​ @spookyparadisesheep​ @blackbirddaredevil23​ @ginger-swag-rapunzel​ 

[marvelmadam08]

The Captain & The Culprit (9)

After escaping from a Hydra lab you’ve been running and hiding since. Afraid of your abilities and your forgotten past, you keep away from people until The Avengers come and find you.

Summary: After a dream about Red Skull and Peggy, Steve begins to act distant right before the mission.

Warnings: Moody Steve, Red Skull, Bucky.

"Soldier, do you have eyes on the target?" The Red Man sitting next to you questions

You watch the screen in front of you, the camera zooms in on a man with thinning gray hair, Dr. Erskine, the doctor who can help you get better so they say.

"Target in sight." The Soldier replies

"Move in. And keep this one alive."

You watch The Soldier descend down the stairs, keeping watchful eyes on Dr. Erskine. The Red Man pats your small head. You mimic the gesture on the doll in your lap.

"Soon you'll be perfect, 813." He tells you

Dr. Erskine was lead to the alley behind the club, a gun in his back. You try to peek from the back window but you're held down by The Red Man.

"Who do you work for? The Nazis? Hydra?" He asks

"Shut up and walk." The Soldier pushed him forward towards the car.

"Dr. Erskine." The Red Man leans up to show himself. His face looked as if it had been burned severely, leaving nothing but red skin all over "You're a hard man to find."

"Schmidt."

"Get in Doctor, we have business to discuss."

"I don't believe you do." A woman with a British accent stands at the end of the alley. You turn back again to get a better look. Her neat brown curls were tucked away under a red hat "Dr. Erskine no longer works for you, Schmidt. I suggest you let him be."

"Soldier...New target, Agent Peggy Carter. Show no mercy."

The Soldier was fast but she was faster, ducking and dodging The Soldier's advances with ease and grace. Dr. Erskine attempts to run but another gun is aim at him from the car.

"You'll have to kill me before I ever work for you again." He states proudly.

The Red Man leans back showing your face to Dr. Erskine.

"You've gone mad." He gasps

"Oh Doctor, I've always been mad." The Red Man opens the door "Get in."

You stare at the ceiling fan, Steve's arm draped over you, a formerly lost memory lingering on your mind. Dr. Erskine, the scientist that stabilized your abilities before they could kill you. He was kind with his methods, despite being forced to experiment with such people. You cried for him when you heard of his death in New York. He'd given the Americans a symbol of hope.

Steve held you a bit closer in his sleep before slowly waking up himself. You run your fingers through his hair.

"You're awake?" His voice is raspy "We have a mission in a few hours, you need to sleep."

"I had a bad dream- well it was a memory." You continue to stare at the ceiling fan "The Red Man found a doctor for me, Erskine." Steve was fully awake now "He- made me better? If this is what you call better."

"Dr. Erskine?" Steve asks

"That's what The Red Man called him. He told me that Erskine had a serum that could make me perfect." You twirl blue smoke around in the air "I think he saved my life."

"Is that all you remember?" His voice is tight but you don't truly notice

"A British woman, with a red hat, Peggy Carter. She tried to save Erskine."

Steve tenses up next to you and slides out of bed, you sit up and watch him pull on track pants and a t-shirt. "Where are you going?"

"For a run."

"Do you want me to go with you?" You start to get up but he stops you

"No, I- you need to sleep. I'll be back soon." He hurries out the room without another word

The bed feels colder now and the sinking feeling in your chest weighs you down. You wait for Steve to get back, every second is torture, every minute is agony. By the first hour you've given up on going back to sleep and trudge back to your room.

Reaching under your bed you pull out your half packed bag and open it. The first thing you pull out was your old hoodie, you pull it on and continue going through your things. Six month old newspaper clippings about the strange explosion in Nevada, reporters called it a gas leak. A few books on memory lost and how to get them back, stuck between a few pages was crinkled money from different countries, you never knew where you would end up. 

The last thing you pull out from the bag was a doll, the doll from your memory. You pat her head the same way you did when you were younger.

"Hey Kiddo." Sam stood in your doorway "What are you doing up this early?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Excited about your first mission?" He came and sat on the bed next to you

"No, I remembered something from when I was a kid. I was in this car with a man, he had a red face, and he was looking for a doctor to fix me."

"A man with a red face? Did he have a German accent?"

"Well yeah he spoke German."

"Red Skull. He was one of the creators of Hydra, Steve went against him during World War Two." Sam explained "Before he went under."

"Went under?"

"He crashed a plane in the arctic, saved millions of people, and he was frozen for almost seventy years. He hasn't told you any of this?"

"No." You chewed on your lip "Do the names Dr. Erskine or Peggy Carter mean anything?"

Sam sighed. "I think that's a conversation for you and Steve to have."

"He ran off as soon as I brought it up."

"It's not my place Kiddo. Cap will talk about it when he wants to." he wraps his arm around you to give you tight hug “Tell you what, when you get back from the mission, we’re gonna relax with some movies. How about it?”

“Sure, thanks Sam.”

"(Y/N)?" Steve poked his head in your room "You're still up."

"Yeah, I couldn't get back to sleep. Sam was just keeping me company."

Sam gives you another squeeze before standing to his feet "Good luck with the mission." 

“Thanks man.” Steve called over his shoulder to Sam

“I was talking to her.”

"Are you alright?" You ask him

"Yeah, never better." He lied, he's a terrible liar “Make sure you have everything, we're going to the tower after the mission. Wheels up in an hour."

"Sure thing." You roll your eyes behind his back, staring at the doll again you lower your voice to a whisper "And I thought I was fucked up."

"I heard that."

*

*

You watched Natasha, Bucky, a guy carrying arrows on his back and Steve load up the quinjet, Tony was showing you what buttons not to push and reminding you not to lose your cool while in flight. Or at all during the mission.

"Why isn't everyone going?" You ask Tony, eyeing the tablet in his hand, it was a layout of the quinjet and the schematics. Or 'The shit on the inside that makes it work.' in Bucky's term

"This isn't really a mission where you need that much man power. Hence, Katniss over there." Tony points a finger at the guy with the arrows

"His name is Katniss?"

"Sure is." He pinches your cheek while a smile. "Go get seated, we take off soon."

"Aye aye Captain." You go to sit along the row of seats and easily get tangled up in the seatbelt

"No, Steve is Captain. That's why we call him Cap. FRIDAY, remind me to give (Y/N) a run through of names when we get to our destination." Tony moved into one the pilot seats

"Sure thing boss." FRIDAY responds

Steve comes up to you, still fighting with the straps, and kneels down to help you. He wore his navy stealth suit again, the red and blue shield sat on the chair next to you along with your bag.

"I could've done it myself." You mutter

"And you would've fallen out if the jet were to roll." He pulls on the straps, you shift uncomfortably "You okay? Are they too tight?"

"I just don't like being strapped down." Steve rubs your cheek knowingly, and out of habit, you lean into his touch.

"Once we're in the air, I'll come and undo them." He kissed your forehead and stood as the engines came on, taking his place in the second pilot seat upfront.

Bucky, Natasha and Katniss took their seats. You were happy when Bucky chose to sit next to you.

"Have you ever been on a plane before?" He asks

"Once, I was running from some Hydra agents at an airport and I hid in the cargo hold. That's how I ended up in Florida."

"Oh, well I'm sure this will be a much better flight experience." He held your hand

"That's if old man Steve doesn't crash the jet." Natasha nudged Katniss playfully

You wished Wanda were here, Bucky was great company but you didn’t want to talk to him about Steve. You were sure they had some type of friend code and told each other everything. If only that could be said for you and Steve.

About an hour into the flight, Steve hands you a brown package. "What's this?"

"You need to change before we land."

You open the front of package, and run your fingers over the rough navy blue blue leather of the jumpsuit.

"Suit up.”

After you change into the form fitting jumpsuit, Steve goes through the plan and the back up plan with everyone. Although you're sure he's going through it just for your sake. You were to stay off to the side, watching Natasha's back from above with Bucky, while she got the serum from the seller and arrested Dr. Smith. No fights if it could be helped, no reckless decision making, and most importantly no killing or injuries among innocent bystanders.

“Your eyes are gonna get stuck like that.” Bucky whispers to you as you stared at Steve sitting back in the pilot’s seat 

“Lost in my own thoughts.” you blushed and whisper to him in Russian “Vsegda li on tak daleko otkhodit vo vremya missii?” (Does he always get distant like this during a mission?)

Bucky shrugged “Inogda Stiv predpochitayet ostavat'sya sosredotochennym. Vy ne mozhete vosprinimat' eto kak lichnoye.” (Sometimes, Steve prefers to stay focused. You can’t take it personal.)

“Trudno ne kogda on prakticheski vybezhal iz spal'ni etim utrom.” (It’s hard not to when he practically ran out of the bedroom this morning.) you pout, Bucky chuckled “What?”

“On znayet, chto my govorim o nem.” (He knows we’re talking about him.) Bucky nodded over to Steve, his head was slightly turned towards you two “Podygryvat'.” (Play along.)

Bucky winked, and held your hand in his. Then he started speaking in Romanian in a low almost sensual voice.

“Steve devine gelos ușor. Voi spune lucruri ca nisip, avion și prune. Și zâmbești ca și cum ți-aș spune niște lucruri dulci.” (Steve gets jealous easy. I'm gonna say things like butterknife, airplane, and plums. And you smile as if I'm telling you sweet nothings.)

You giggled and Steve nearly turned all the way around in his seat, drawn in by the sound of your laugh but Tony pulled him back to land the jet. Bucky grinned, strolling over to meet with Nat and Katniss

Steve came over to you, his jaw slightly tensed. “Everything okay Captain?” you smirked

He snaked an arm around your waist, lowering his lips to meet yours in a rough kiss. The others encouraged you two, clapping and yelling for you to get a room “I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to be so cold. When we get back we can talk about what you remembered if you want.”

“Sure.” you ran your fingers through the short hair on the back of his head, he gives you one more kiss before he started giving everyone their orders.