#salad dressing goes in a separate little container and then he dips his fork in the dressing before stabbing a few leaves

[soulsxng]

Send 🔥 for Muse A to attempt roasting Muse B. Orin to Cyrus

@arcxnumvitae | Multimuse grapevine | No longer accepting!

"Whaaaat, I can't do that to Cy, it's like kicking a puppy. Okay, okay, lemme think for a minute...uhhm. Cyrus, you...oh! You eat cereal like a freak. Though you do it with other stuff too, I guess. That whole 'I don't like my food to be soggy' thing. You're weird. Just eat right away instead of dicking around!"

"Th-that's not...that weird..." It was weird, and he knew it. When he eats cereal, he pours the cereal in a bowl, and milk in a separate cup. Then he takes a bite of cereal, sip of milk. Bite of cereal, sip of milk. "It makes me gag when my food is all...mushy when it gets in my mouth, when I'm expecting something crunchy or crispy!"

[skeletonpunching]

Vatican Miracle Examiner sidestory - The Wonderful Boss’s Celebration (parts 11 and 12 - END)

In the final instalments of this sidestory, we go out with a bang, in classic VME style. This made me yelp “what the FUCK” out loud in a library, and I mean that in the best way possible.

NOTE: This sidestory will be included in the next VME book, a short story collection that will be published on 22nd November, titled The Intersection of Angels and Fallen Angels. It’ll contain stories featuring Hiraga, Roberto, and Dr. Singh, in addition to this one. The publisher’s summary is: “A cursed gemstone is said to be the personal property of the tragic young girl Beatrice Cenci. Can Hiraga and Roberto unravel that curse?! What is the secret of the banquet that Julia holds for his boss?!”

So. Time to find out the secret!

[Parts 1 and 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, parts 7 and 8, part 9, part 10]

11

“Oh, this one’s simple, isn’t it? You can tell just from looking. They’re fritters of edible frog. Is there some special reason for choosing frog for the poisson, instead of fish?”

Ruggieri dipped the fritter - sculpted in the shape of a tulip - in the sauce, and conveyed it to his mouth.

“Hmm. A light, juicy meat, and I can taste an intense savour in its depths. There’s no odour at all, and the deboning is well-done too. I don’t know much about frogs, but they’re a French specialty, aren’t they? The sauce is extremely rich; along with the flavour of parsley and arugula, there’s a potent salty accent that shines through. This is… Is there salt-cured pig fatback in this?”

“Yes. It’s just as you said - frogs, which are undoubtedly amphibians, are classified as seafood in French cuisine. Among these, the variety regarded as being the most delicious is the fresh grenouille which can be caught in the Dombes wetlands of the Bourgogne region. Right now, they are exactly in season. You’re also correct that salt-cured fatback was used in the sauce,” Julia replied blandly, and took a drink of his wine.

“Which is to say I win this match? After that palate-cleanser, is it time for the main meat course at last? It was fun doing this quiz with you, but honestly, I’ve gotten tired of waiting,” Ruggieri said, cracking his knuckles.

In the small palate-cleanser dish was a granité, made of crystallised Taste of Diamonds.

Next, the main dish and salad were swiftly brought before them.

An abundance of black truffles, exuding a powerful aroma, was perched atop a magnificently browned steak. The accompanying sides were truffle-scented gnocchi and Cèpe mushrooms, potato galettes, and quiche with sausage filling.

First, Ruggieri carefully inspected the surface of the steak, and filled his lungs with a deep inhale of its scent.

He slowly cut into the meat with a finely-honed knife; its juices seeped out from within, and a cross-section of the beautiful red meat was exposed. Ruggieri took a large slice of meat, and let its sensual flavour spread fully through his mouth.

Silently, looking as though he was possessed, he worked his knife, and ate a second mouthful.

Watching this, Julia quietly opened his mouth.

“Long ago, the French royalty and aristocracy would first go hunting, then cook their spoils and host parties. Lifting the ban on hunting, and enjoying wild game in autumn and winter - isn’t this the zenith of French cuisine?”

“Ahh… I see, so that’s why you chose this scenario? You hunted wild animals that only live in this national park. Indeed, this meat has a flavour I’ve never tasted before. American bison? Those young ones, right?”

“No, no, Ruggieri. This place was chosen in order to stage a production. This meat is not something that can be classified as game. But the techniques of cooking game are applied to preparing the meat and the sauce. This rich sauce is a specially produced salmi sauce; it was made by adding cognac and red wine to coarsely chopped bones and sauteed potherbs, boiling them with fond de veau and spices, straining this, and mixing it with sauteed innards. After further heating, butter, salt and pepper, and fresh cream were added to enhance the flavour.”

Julia’s words were like a riddle; Ruggieri cocked his head, puzzled.

He had another bite of the meat. The dense flavour flooded his mouth; it was like paradise.

“The meat is tender, and the ratio of fat to lean meat is just right. The delicate flesh and the state of the fibres are like wagyu beef. The sweetness is pronounced, but there’s a variety of flavours apart from that. There’s no unpleasant off-taste… But the meat has a certain odour… Hrrmm…”

Ruggieri muttered to himself briefly, then set down his knife and fork, and looked squarely at Julia.

“It looks like I have to admit defeat. Julia, tell me. Just what is this delicious meat? I definitely want to add it to my list of favourite dishes from now on.”

“Yes, I will explain. But before that, Ruggieri - please be sure to try the accompanying galette and quiche, as well as the salad.”

Ruggieri bit into the galette, like Julia said.

“This is rich! The filling is roe, right? It’s a full-bodied, concentrated umami.”

“Yes. That contains innards and brain tissue.”

“Hmm, I see. It’s dense.”

Then he took a bite of the quiche.

“The scent of fresh blood is wafting through my nose… There’s a crunchy texture to the inside.”

“Indeed. That sausage was prepared this very morning.”

“Blood sausage, huh? Well, next was the salad. Is the dressing a sort of gelatin?”

Ruggieri ate a mouthful of salad.

“This scent and flavour… it’s jellied consommé. Oh, there’s something slippery and gelatinous inside. This texture… could it be an eyeball? It really goes down smoothly.”

“Yes, you’re spot-on. I’m glad you seem to like it. Now then, here is a question for you. Have you ever eaten artificial meat? Beyond Meat - said to be the most advanced artificial meat - is produced through MRI analysis of the protein and fat structure of real meat patties, and then recreating the same structure using plant-derived components. It sizzles on the grill like real meat; it captures the moisture of meat, the way it burns, and its texture in the mouth. It even gives off the aroma of meat.”

At this, Ruggieri stared suspiciously at Julia.

“Artificial meat? You mean what I ate was artificial meat?”

“Of course not. Do you think that I would prepare such a crude imitation for you?”

Ruggieri sank back against his chair, looking slightly relieved at Julia’s words.

“Then just what meat is it? Hurry up and tell me.”

“Yes. What we were just eating is human flesh,” Julia whispered softly into Ruggieri’s ear.

Ruggieri’s eyebrows twitched. He looked sharply at Julia.

“What the…”

“Please relax. We did not prepare and serve some unknown human. This is the true identity of the meat you ate.”

Next to Julia’s own plate stood a tray covered with a silver lid. He slid this in front of Ruggieri.

Then he silently removed the silver lid.

12

In the middle of the tray was a crystal glass filled with clear liquid. Within this floated a single emerald green eyeball, bobbing gently.

“Th-this is…!”

Ruggieri drew in a sharp breath at that familiar eye colour.

“Heh. That’s right. This is a duplicate of my eye. All the meat you have eaten tonight was my flesh. It was cultivated using cells taken from various parts of my body.”

Ruggieri stared at Julia, unable to conceal his astonishment.

“In other words, I’ve been eating you…?”

“Did this not suit your tastes? In ancient China, there was a custom of exchanging and eating their children, as a mark of affection. It is said that, on occasions of the finest hospitality, one would treat the guests to a dish of one’s own children. In the Bible too, Abraham was commanded by God to sacrifice his only son. God appreciated that deed, and named him God’s faithful servant. I decided that I would emulate them, but I think that, rather than children, offering myself to be eaten better demonstrates my loyalty to you.”

Hearing this, Ruggieri pounded heavily on the table, and burst into hearty laughter.

“Ahahahaha, is that it?! I’m very, very pleased with this. To think I’ve been eating you! This was truly fine entertainment!”

“Thank you very much.”

Julia bowed deeply.

Now in a thoroughly good humour, Ruggieri rose from his seat and, taking Julia’s hand, drew him to his feet.

“My wonderful cousin. You must let me have this dance.”

“Yes, gladly.”

The two of them began waltzing in time to the orchestral music.

“Anyway, I’m surprised. So Galdoune’s technology has progressed this far,” Ruggieri said excitedly.

“It was a great struggle. I shall simply say that every technique was employed - I could not have you eat unappetising meat. Cells were harvested from every body tissue and cultured through various methods, and the flavour was carefully evaluated. Looking at the separate parts, it was found that the area around the human eye seemed to be the most delicious. The optic nerve was especially delectable. The crunchy texture of the blood sausage is because it contains optic nerves.

“Organs like the liver, stomach, and brain were also found to have rich flavour and little odour. The elastic stomach flesh was served in the style of abalone, and fig extract was added to the culture fluid of the liver cells - precisely like the preparation of foie gras. The bones also yielded a stock full of flavour and nutrients.

“The so-called lean meat is muscle tissue modelled after the biceps and shoulder. Regular electrical stimulation was applied to simulate the flesh undergoing moderate exercise. If there was too little fat, it could not be chewed, and if there was too much, the smell would be cloying; it required difficult fine-tuning. By the way, all of the blood used in the meat and sausage was drawn from me.”

Ruggieri listened to Julia’s matter-of-fact explanation with an air of delight.

“Well, this is really fascinating. Anyway, just how did you come up with an idea like this?”

“Synthetic meat is interesting. The global market of meat foodstuffs is about 90 billion dollars, and currently, the top seven major food companies account for 80 percent of it. This could be a weapon to break through that. In fact, an artificial meat called ‘Quorn’ has been sold in Europe for around 30 years, but this is made from fermented mushroom protein, and cannot be considered delicious. Recently, artificial meat seems to be becoming a popular trend in America too - but from your sense of the situation, Ruggieri, do you think it will establish itself?”

“Hmm… Following on from Europe, vegetarianism and veganism are steadily growing in America as well. The propaganda we’ve circulated - that eating animal meat is against the spirit of animal welfare - seems to have had quite some success. Moreover, there are estimates that about 18 percent of greenhouse gases are produced by rearing livestock for food. This means that, on the environmental front, the potential demand for clean meat - ‘meat that doesn’t kill livestock’ - shows no signs of declining either. Confidence in the major food companies - which, until now, have been growing crops using large amounts of agrochemicals, and producing meat in their factory farms - is at an all-time low. Diets are shifting towards organic vegetables and artificial meat, and there’s a rapidly growing number of people who consider this a hallmark of the new age - especially among young people. To say nothing of the developing countries dealing with population explosions - for them, a supply of cheap protein is absolutely necessary. In 2050, the entire human population will require double its current protein supply; it’s said that it’s practically impossible for all of that to be covered by animal protein.

“On top of that… humans who don’t consume animal protein grow weaker in rebelliousness, fighting spirit, and psychological resistance. They become submissive and easier to control, don’t they? That’s also ideal from the perspective of ruling the masses; it’s truly a very interesting technology.

“Even so, at this point, the state of infiltration still falls short. There are many passionate vegetarians and vegans among America’s middle class and wealthy upper classes, but they’re no more than 5 percent of the population. In short, artificial meat is too expensive for the remaining commoners and poor people. Artificial meat made from plant-based materials - like Beyond Meat, which Bill Gates also invested in - costs about six dollars for two hamburger patties; a hamburger’s price is currently 19 dollars. Compared to that, mass-produced real meat hamburgers are one or two dollars. As long as real meat can be bought so cheaply, people won’t go out of their way to try artificial meat.

“Well, even if it’s only targeting the rich, it’s a solid investment. But to popularise it on the level of the common people, a system for low-cost mass production is necessary, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s right. But, Ruggieri, I thought this through while preparing for this entertainment. If explosive population growth occurs in the near future, that will cause worldwide protein shortage, severe environmental impact, and animal welfare issues. Don’t you think these problems would be solved by cultivating one’s own flesh and eating it? That would be the ultimate ecological movement. The experiment this time established the know-how for cultivating human flesh; I think it could be put on the commercial track before long.”

“Hmm… But will people be receptive? America is surprisingly conservative. And doesn’t almost every country in the world have a taboo against eating human flesh?”

Ruggieri frowned slightly.

“No, no - wasn’t it you who said that the values of things change with the times, Ruggieri? Whether or not a boom happens depends on whether we instigate it, doesn’t it?”

Julia gazed intently at Ruggieri, his eyes clear and unclouded.

“Got it. I’ll give it some thought.”

“I’m grateful. By the way, how about having some dessert after the meal?”

Ruggieri shook his head at Julia’s question.

“No, this is plenty already. It was a really stimulating full-course meal. I bow to your production.”

“Is that so? I’m relieved to hear that. In that case, what are your plans for tonight?”

“Of course I’ll stay over - I’m feeling great. Julia, I want to hunt tomorrow. Is that possible?”

“Yes. If you’d like to do that, the arrangements have been made.”

“Then send the women back, and let’s go hunting together tomorrow morning. Now, how about I get a massage too?”

“Please make yourself comfortable.”

Ruggieri left the ger with a spring in his step, beaming broadly.

He left the doors standing open; through them, the silently falling snow was visible in the darkness. It reflected the room’s lighting, and glittered in dazzling flashes of silver.

With a small smile, Julia returned to his seat to resume the interrupted meal.

Maxim promptly brought cheese and wine to the table.

“Master Julia. Was Master Ruggieri pleased by tonight’s entertainment?”

“Yes, he enjoyed himself like a child.”

“That is most important.”

“As I expected, he wants to go hunting tomorrow.”

“As you wish. I will finish the arrangements with the hunters.”

“Anyway, it’s foolish, isn’t it. Being so satisfied by my flesh. Even though the truly delicious part of humans isn’t the physical body… Ruggieri cannot become a genuine gourmet. Isn’t that right, Maxim?”

Maxim bowed his head deeply.

“Yes. It is as you say. In the world, there are no gourmets on par with you, Master Julia.”

At Maxim’s reply, a fiendish smile drifted across Julia’s face. Draining his red wine, he once again drew out the small rouge-coloured vial, and gazed into its dark depths.

“Now then… What sort of experiment shall I do next?”

[fin.]