#saffron ur so real

[zenitsustherapist]

lucy ml you are so terrifying ilysm

[factoringpractice]

black white Veridian burgundy :]

gurllll black is so real

wine saffron plum tangerine + urs lol

[istherewifiinhell]

Tumblr users wifi's Chicken Pot Pie Recipe

Sort of anyway. due to my cooking method the following probably bridges the distance between old timey recipes where the author tells you to take a good amount of almonds and your just supposed to know what that means. and a very online much too conversational approach to instructions. fantastic

Frankly just picking a recipe and doing some freestyling on it is my method. And so my ingredients list is a general idea and if you want the explainers they are after that. and if you for some reason want my directions, which I do not recommend if you need real guidance and not just tips, those are last.

The suggested amounts may make you too much filling for an average pie crust. I do not consider this a problem.

Ingredients Filling

Chicken (or your choice) 1 Pound Onion 1 large. Sliced or diced. (adjust for how much you like onion and how long you like to cook em. caramelized will shrink) Carrot. 1 cup. Freestyle cut. I mince but maybe you cut circles Mushroom. 1 or more cups, again were adjusting for cook time shrinkage. I just cut them last and go until the pile looks right in proportion to other ingredients Potato. I'd love to give u a list of fancy potatoes, but its yukon gold all day every day here. i use one to two depending on size. Garlic. 3 cloves… Heavy scare quotes. I don't want to tell you 6 so then you do 12 okay. just. whatever you want. Ginger, while we're at it, if you like. shout out to garlic ginger paste havers Flour. just to coat the meat and veg, or you could thicken the sauce with cornstarch or other thickener. oh. oil or butter. whatever. pan grease of choice

Spice zone: (no measurements? yeah i know. see digression)

Chicken stock. You have bullion powder or cubes or a jar probably. good. me too. just add to your level of preferred salt and chicken-y goodness. or beefy or porky or veggy. Salt and pepper. you know this one. paprika. dont even. whatever you have. smoked is delicious, ive never had the hungarian stuff okay. oregano cumin turmeric. or saffron if ur rich, or bootleged ur own crocuses. leave out if you hate yellow (ur risk of staining something is probably high) chili powder (reference which paprika you used) ground coriander seed cinnamon or all-spice literally whatever you want. you want a curry pie. make that. you want piripiri pie. go for it. five spice. shichimi togarashi. whatever.

Crust

Enough for top and bottom of your pie. you can find many recipes. in general it will be something like 1 cup solid fat (butter lard shortening or margarine) 2-3 cups flour (pastry, all purpose, whole wheat. whatever. if your doing gluten free look into that) sugar and salt if you want. dried herbs if you really want cold water. a few spoonfuls you can fuck around with leavening even but ehhh

Ingredients Digression: search your heart, and your fridge

Chicken: Thigh would be my preference of course but someone has to eat all the white meat and sometimes that person is you. or maybe you have a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store. or maybe your gonna use beef or pork. thats fine. im not your boss. use meat substitute for all i care. The package we got on sale is some .950 kilos, and that clearly too much. so lets say .425 kg. Or just around 1 pound if you prefer.

Veg: Yeah I love mushrooms and I'm gonna put them in everything. Brown or white cap is common, portabello would be extra. Oyster mushroom would be delicious. Shiitake I don't like, and if you ever meet someone who would use enoki in this, have em call me I'd love to hear how that went. You dont like any of these, then don't add em. Leek, celery, peas, and corn all seem like fine choices to me. Any veg you like if it can handle the bake time. I don't ever recommend baking peppers but live ur bliss. As for measurements. I'm not actually using a cup. I just make piles on my cutting board and when i run out of room use regular eating bowls.

Spice zone: If you would like pot pie with just a bit more kick, stick to the paprika chili and cumin. If you wanna go full bananas, you could do a teaspoon of every spice you like. probably not the salt if your stock has salt tho. Keep in mind your own preferences. I don't measure. good luck. really think using spices as what they're for, which is coating and seasoning the food. it should colour the meal but if you can no longer see it you've probably gone to far. Taste and tweak as much as you like.

Pie crust and tin: use your favourite pie crust recipe. or not. or store bought is in fact fine. you just need enough for whatever tin your gonna use. A round tin is traditional and recommended. 18-25cm/7-10 in diameter range. A 4-7 cm/1-3 in deep. depending on size and shape of you hands, bigger than your hand splayed and no deeper than your finger... probably.

Directions: For the Desperate and Bored

Pie crust: Cut up solid fat. Work in flour (and other ingredients) till its all crumbley. looks like sand, breadcrumb etc. Should be a bit dry. Add cold water to bind it in a dough. Add this gradually, u do not want it sloppy style okay? You can do this with your hands, a food processor. Probably not a blender thought who knows. Maybe you put it in a couple layers of freezer bags and stomp on it. All good.

Make it to a ball, or lump shape, and put it in the fridge to firm up. Unless that would impede you ability to work the dough too much.

Rolling it out, or not? Here's the thing. You can just take the warm dough and pat it into you pie tin like graham cracker crust for cheese cakes. Just really compact it and get it up the sides of your tin. Don't say I never gave you anything.

The top crust would be more challenging to not roll out, but you could probably do the same with a greased or lined plate, leave both to chill in freezer. When time to fill, flop it on top of the filled pie, and let it warm up again to seal the pie edges.

If you roll it out. Flour your work surface. Pat the dough flat a bit, roll it out, turn the dough as you go to keep it even. Use you pie tin to check the size. Bottom crust needs to be bigger by how deep the pan is all around.

(See filling directions)

You could blind bake the bottom if you want. Stab the bottom crust with a fork a bunch to prevent bubbles. Either way. Filling goes into bottom crust. Pie lid on top of filling. Press or crimp the edges to seal it.

This is where the size of pan and amount of filling comes up. Make it as tall as you feel comfortable with/physics allow. Any left over filling can be eaten. If you did it right you, personally, will find it delicious. Also pies can take a long time and you might need the snack. Vent the lid (stab the crust. patterns welcome. left over dough can be used as decoration or as smaller pies for a fractal and recursive baking process)

Cooking Directions: Keep in mind the level of doneness you want for each veg, add to the pan in that order. Frozen peas and corn or whatever are going last if you want them in any way intact. If you want to reduce dishes use a real big pan or pot with a lot of bottom surface area My order: OIL UP THAT PAN. i want my veg saute'd not steamed okay? onions first. cook till a little less than you like. garlic and ginger (or any other seasoning paste if your using). you want aromatic not crispy. seriously if it looking ever a little too toasty take of the burner and add the next things and stir a bunch. burnt onions and garlic will ruin your whole meal carrots and mushrooms meat. if you dont want to transfer things out of the pan just push it to the side, watch out to not burn the bottom of that either, ur just moving the two different piles of stuff. you can season the meat before you cook it if you want but im not sure it matters. get to cooking the outside of the meat.. it will fully cook in the simmering sauce (If using Pre-Cooked meat add later) potato. again. cooking in the sauce sprinkle the flour on now and coat everything (i almost always forget this step so if you do thats fine. where just gonna thicken the sauce later) time to go to the spice zone. Add your liquids. Stock, or water with bouillon. some dairy product if you want. if you forgot the flour mix a little with the liquid and make a paste. and add more liquid and stir. add to pan I mean you could also do it by making a roux or bechemal. but its all really the same thing. You can simmer the sauce if you want more cooking time for your filling. (I would add pre-cooked meat and frozen peas or corn here, Stir!) Check for taste and tweak seasoning. It can be a little stronger than you like cause its going it mostly plain pastry.

BAKE IT. We're looking for good crust quality here. also additional cook time if any ingredients need more time to finish. depending on oven and pie size could be 20 mins to like. hour plus. i dunno

let rest before serving or whatever.

[creepyspice]

Tag Game

Thanks for the tags @cutestkilla and @ileadacharmedlife! I loved reading ur answers 🖤

relationship status: Im single rn. I already kind of feel like a jaded old hag who’s seen it all and just wants to brush her cats in peace but I know that won’t last (it never does)

favorite color: purple probably, though im also into pink and teal. I wear a lot of orange…like obviously not every outfit is orange but how many people do you actually know that wear orange frequently? I guess in comparison to the general population I wear a lot of orange but it’s not everyday i don’t have a problem or anything 👀

favorite food: this is so hard bc I don’t eat to live I live to eat but my favourite food growing up was prawn biryani with lots of cardamom and saffron rice…it’s so good. But I’m the kind of person that likes to make a whole production out of eating, like just the other day I crushed some pistachios and rolled a scoop of Häagen-Dazs in it which is so extra now that I’m reflecting back

song stuck in your head: werewolf by Fiona Apple 🐺

last thing you googled: where the closest p.f. Chang’s is

time: 1 am

dream trip: vegas or Florence. Vegas bc I love so many movies set there and I’ve kind of always wanted a vegas wedding. Florence probably bc of Hannibal but I love facts about Italian renaissance paintings so it would be nice to see some in real life. Also I heard the food is good

last book you read: if not, winter: fragments of Sappho by Anne Carson and Sappho (of course). It was really good, I’ve been flipping through it again and again ever since

last book I enjoyed reading: Like I said, Sappho was great. My favourite thing I’ve read in a while is probably the locked tomb series bc it makes me feel alive like nothing else does

last book you hated reading: I know a lot of ppl wont agree, and don’t come at me for this but The Song of Achilles…I wouldn’t say hate bc that’s a strong word but I’ve read the Iliad and I really really love it like I really do and my friend convinced me to give tsoa a try bc they swore it was amazing but I just couldn’t enjoy it I kept thinking homer slayed this already why does this book exist…if u feel the need to block me for this I understand

favorite thing to cook/bake: I don’t cook daily but I feel like i can confidently claim I make the best fried eggs out of anyone I know like I just go off so hard every time, they’re crispy from the bottom but the yolk is gooey…I was just born to fry eggs it’s what I’m best at in life none of my other skills compare. I also make very pretty charcuterie boards

favorite craft to do in your free time: Idk what constitutes crafts but I don’t think I do them…I’m more of a handy out of necessity kind of girl. Just give me some sand paper and a bit of multi purpose filler and I will repair the fucking colloseum. Does doing ur own nails count? Bc I do some pretty good press ons and nail art and that’s kind of crafty 🤔

most niche dislikes: i hate shallow spoons!

opinion on circuses: if we’re talking actual circuses w animals and freak shows then those are historically very bad, and have had negative effects on society as a whole so don’t like those. As @cutestkilla mentioned I think cirque du soleil is really cool. Love the Britney Spears song.

do you have a sense of direction and if not what's the worst way you've gotten lost?: I never get lost, but once as a child my dad who is not very good at his job (parenting) took me to Disney land and lost me after about 10 minutes. He didn’t notice I was lost somehow and when I found him an hour later he was smoking and eating a Mickey Mouse shaped chocolate. I have forgiven but I will never forget 😂

I’m tagging and saying hi to @wetheformidables @facewithoutheart and @moodandmist :)🖤

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch7 can’t stop won’t stop

lmao Dani being like ‘we should wait to discuss kids til after we’re married’ yes doesn’t seem like a giant thing u should make sure u agree on before u make a major commitment at all

Dani is so in love with Jamie sdjkhdfkjg driving to her house on instinct and just like...gazing at her in her old t-shirt and sweats like you’ve finally seen the light girl just kiss her already

god I can’t believe I have 2 more chapters of them as adults just being the absolute perfect match for each other to get through before they finally kiss in ch 11 (i’m maninfesting it no one say anything) I am literally going to scream. Dani will like... feel a little off and it’s all “i need to go to Jamie’s house and also tell Jamie everything and she will make me tea and let me be myself without all the expectations and I will feel better” I AM VERY HAPPY SHE CAN BE THAT FOR YOU BUT ALSO CAN YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE MS CLAYTON (actually I think she kind of does but she must extract herself from her real life first I guess)

oh no the new chapter is almost here I still have so much to read

forget ‘there was only one bed’ this is now a ‘there was only one tent’ stan blog only

thirsty Dani truly is the funniest I am so sorry ur suffering is so entertaining. Dani: literally whacks her finger with a mallet bc horny for Jamie. Me: uncontrollable chortling

the idea of Dani wrangling 8 year olds that are probably just about as tall as her is too funny. tiny legend

aww the lil background Hannah and Owen moments. cute

Dani in a big ol’ straw hat pls that’s so cute

this Jackie and Jamie situation..... GIVE US THE DEETS

hmmmmnnnnnngggg Jamie just straight down on her knees in front of Dani to tie her shoe lace I will absolutely let u have this gay panic Dani u don’t deserve to be made fun of right now

Jamie “I have a story” absolutely NOT

Viola, emerging from the lake in this no ghosts childhood friends story: surprise bitch

these two drunk idiots are literally teenagers dsjkhdfkgjh just get in ur tent

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life: hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

when we finally get a Jamie on her knees redemption moment-

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life currently taking her clothing off: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck (y’all really wanted to torture her this chapt huh?)

“dawn was a saffron colored suggestion peeking through a pinhole gap in the tent’s zipper” god that’s a pretty sentence can i pls borrow some talent

Jamie and Dani w kids is sooooo cute they have such a nice balance between them

just thinking about if teenage Jamie desperately in love w her bestie could see things now Dani being all into her w all her lingering looks etc how the fuckin turn tables

“Dani kept a firm grip on her sanity” lol

oh my god they’re both drenched in the tent w the soft lamplight and only their own bodyheat to keep warm whatever will they do

oh wait they also have the heat of their burning attraction to each other they’ll be toasty as anything

hhhhngggg abs

that’s like 4 mentions of Jamie on her knees aklhfdkjgkdjh enough

lads is it gay to imagine running ur fingertips over the scar on your friends back before pressing ur lips to it or...?

Jamie taking the time to teach Dani car things aww

lol not the smutty book

eddie honking at her gets so under my skin like my dude... my guy... stop

Dani thinking so hard about rain damp Jamie and how much she wanted to jump her while she’s in the car w her boyf and MIL. girl

imagine if we had to sit through a dani and eddie wedding before she finally managed to call this off how cursed

ayoooo Carson’s show I cannot wait. omg we get it this chapter too gbless this really is the Dani suffering hours

Jamie just so casually like.... not even flirting w Dani it’s all just kinda observations but every other thing she says makes Dani stop breathing skdhfdkfjh this is so good

Dani has like... a lack of object permanence but with Jamie feelings ok

pleeease the Dani Carson road trip that’s so cute I can just imagine what fun they would have had

uuughhh i wanna go to a sweaty bar n listen to loud music again

also would like a Jamie to press their hand to my lower back n make me lose my mind in a sweaty bar to loud music

this lil jamie dani carson trio is my faaaave

“Girls must be all over you.” and Jamie choking on her drink dsfkjsdhkf oh Dani u beautiful naive angel. god that’s so funny

Robin instantly going for Jamie... same bro

Carson’s lil found family band pls my heart is so full

Carson calling them his sisters n Jamie freezing up bby when are u going to accept these people care abt u and love u like family

Robin is so brazenly just like ‘ur hot’. a voice of the people i love her

Dani being lowkey jealous as IF Ms Taylor has eyes for anyone else babe

Carson knoooowwwwws. When do we get the Carson O’Mara biopic please I want his takes on everything I know they’re excellent

oh my god Jamie knowing Dani’s fave kind of pizza pls I love that so much (I can’t remember if it’s been mentioned in the past few chapters but I remember her being mad that Eddie didn’t in CH1? i love this lil detail) (also I literally just ate vegge pizza I feel so immersed in this experience)

dfkgjhdfkjgh Jamie licking her finger and Dani completely combusting this is so entertaining

fuck n then it gets all soft and about how they’ve been in love their whole lives this is emotional whiplash

Jamie constantly in protector mode but in this really quiet comforting way is so sweet I love her so much

god I just feel so bad for Dani that this kind of insane electricity she has with Jamie has probably never been a thing in her relationship w Ed bby u deserve someone that makes u feel like this

awww Carsons bf

Dani’s soul leaving her body when she sees them kissing oh no

Jamie giving Dani her jacket pleeease I am dying here... the romance of it all

and shariing cigarettes and intense looks these two really are somethin else

lmao even Robin is picking up on their vibes you two could level a building with the amount of tension between u

Dani’s moment of Realisation abt Carson n Jamie just being like... well yeah

lmao Dani subtly trying to figure out if Jamie is gettin’ it sdkgdfhkjgh

when these do two finally get together both of them are gonna be like... taken out by all of this. Dani has only ever known Eddie who just does not get her (and the fact that she is a lesbian so she’s never had real feelings for him in that way) and it seems like Jamie has only ever had surface level relationships with people who never really got her either (while also being in love w her best friend who she never thought would love her back). there’s no way this is wont eventually make at least one person cry a bunch (probably me) with how right all of it is

god Dani is so horny for Jamie sdflkdfjgkfdj preemptive RIP for Ms Taylor when Dani finally does get to live out all these daydreams on her I just know someones gonna end up pulling somethin

Does Dani like.... get that she will never love Edmund that way like is she fully aware of the fact she loves him but she’s not in love with him and all these feelings for Jamie aren’t just because it’s Jamie but because she’s not straight??? have we gone on that journey yet

aw Ed waited up for her

the book the book the book

dsfkdhfgkj oh Dani

“Jamie on her knees, looking up at her” listen-

girl u are so fucked

SIX. SIX MENTIONS OF JAMIE ON HER KNEES pls

THE DREAM

who could this possibly be about hmmmm Dani

christ

THE MEASURES SHE TAKES TO DEAL WITH THE DREAM lordt

“baffled but excited” i think is how I almost always picture eddie lol

dang get it girl take control

aw dani u poor confused little duck. i just wanna give her a hug

Dani dressed as Dorothy is awfuly cute

heh Jamie as a wolf i love her fursona

lmao toto

of course Jamie is well aquainted with the bleachers. cheeky. oh no not the art room. Dani dying inside and then imagining herself there with Jamie girl has got it baaaad u poor lil repressed gayby

Dani is... so thirsty... goddamn

lmao Jamie blatantly checking her out are u trying to kill her she already wants to rip ur clothes off

“To the third floor art room?” dfksdhfgkjdfhgjdhf imagine if this was it they just banged it out in the art room right now n got things sorted

god they go from horny to soft so quick i love the ways they care about each other

Jamie saying the scarecrow costume is fitting for Eddie PLEASE

ooh the infamous hickey

What Dani deseves: snuggles. What Dani recieves: struggles

the MEMES. god bless the memes

this was an excellent companion for my Wednesday hopefully I can churn through the rest of em before we are blessed w ch11 amen

[drowsydregon]

teal, periwinkle, mauve, blush, indigo, fuchsia, coral, razzmatazz, saffron, burgundy, basically ur real neat and I don't even know if I put down all the colors that describe that but I'm glad we're pals! >: 3

((  TEAL = We have a lot in common.

PERIWINKLE = You make me laugh

MAUVE = You are really talented

BLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.

INDIGO = I’ve been following you for a long time

FUCHSIA = Your blog content is gold

CORAL = You’re a meme

RAZZMATAZZ = I would share my favorite food with you

SAFFRON = I love your ideas

BURGUNDY = I get excited when I see posts from you ))

☘   ☘   ☘

WAAA THIS IS A LOT KFHGFFHJ

OK BUT FORREAL U HAVE BEEN HERE FOREVER 😭😭😭 GODDD,,, u’ve been here since the friggin UNDERTALE days. and i wouldn’t have it any other way fkdjhgfjd ily

idk how much u kno abt ninjago but if yr enjoying my stuff i gotta be doing SOMETHING right at least kjfgkjfg

friggg ILY MAN 🥺🥺🥺 I’M SO GLAD YR STILL HERE AFTER ALL THIS TIME !!!!! 

[hunk-is-an-anti]

hi i was scrolling thru ur blog and i saw a post about voltron being racist/ableist/homophobic and i’m new to the voltron fandom so i wasn’t there for any of the big Messes™️ or big fandom tea but can you point me to where it’s racist/ableist/homophobic (if you want you don’t have to)

Hi! Sorry for taking so long to respond to this, I wanted to make sure I had time to actually provide links to stuff instead of making you take my word for it. I’m gonna put this under the cut bc I don't know how long this will be. I’m gonna break it down into the three categories you provided, but they're all interconnected, so expect a bit of overlap.

Racism in Voltron

I wish I could say this is one of the more prevalent topics in the v slur community, but realistically, many of the fans of the show turn a blind eye to the topic.

One of the main issues with v slur is the continuous mistreatment of its black/brown characters, namely, Lance, Hunk and Allura.

The three of them are mistreated in different ways, so we’ll go through them one by one.

Allura

Oh my god, poor Allura. The show and fandom treat her like absolute garbage.

Probably the worst things the show have done are the whole l0tura bullshit and the “not all galra” character arc.

Allura is, as far as she knows, one of two survivors of an intergalactic genocide at the hands of the Galra. As such, it is only natural that she is distrustful towards them, as they continue to invade and conquer galaxy after galaxy. The “not all galra” questline saw her being portrayed as ‘racist’ for not wanting to work with people who previously killed the rest of her kind, and for feeling betrayed that one of the Paladins is half galra. Saffron Alexander’s article, “Why the Space Racist Trope in Sci-Fi Is Bad For Women of Color” puts it best: 

“Most people would understand that Allura is currently wracked with grief from the deaths of her friends, family, and her entire planet, and would not hold this against her. Not the VLD writers.

Once again, we have a character, who would likely be on the receiving end of racist remarks and discrimination in a real life situation, portrayed as the ignorant aggressor, guilty of perpetrating this prejudice. VLD even goes so far as to have Allura apologize and forgive her oppressors with little to no consideration for her own feelings and trauma.

I also think it’s interesting to note that Coran, a white-coded male and the other sole Altean survivor, is not given the same treatment. He is portrayed as rational and doesn’t have any lingering prejudice towards the Galra, despite going through the exact same things as Allura.

Do you see the unpleasant trend emerging here? Because I do. The dearth of women of color in science fiction and fantasy is a well-documented struggle, and I am always ridiculously pleased when WOC (black women in particular) are given significant roles in shows, books, and films, but not like this.

It feels like we’ve been hounding creators to include us in their content for so long and now they’re finally starting to listen, but there’s a catch. They don’t truly want us in their fantasy worlds, where talking lizards and sentient robot lions can come and go as they please, so if we’re going to demand they include us, then they’re going to teach us a lesson while doing so.

When I see characters like Bill [from Doctor Who] and Allura being branded as “racist” for actions their white counterparts are never chastised for, it feels like these creators are laughing at us—like they’re sneering at me and every other black person out there who so desperately want to see ourselves reflected in our favourite shows and characters, saying ‘See, you’d be racist, too, if given the chance.’”

I bolded that last sentence because god, does the VLD crew love to try to pull that shit. Remember the Episode Hole in the Sky? I unfortunately do. A brief recap: team vld discovers a wormhole to an alternate reality, where the Altaeans  survived. The catch? They were the invading conquerers, and “Empress” Allura had been the one to start it all. This was supposed to act as a “humbling” moment for Allura, and one that helped her to sympathize with the Galra splinter, as she ‘just as easily could have been an imperialist dictator’, but it really just served as a way to humiliate and disrespect Allura.

Allura is the one who has to apologize for being racist. Allura is the one who has  to learn a lesson. Allura is the one who is portrayed as irrational and prejudiced for not trusting people who killed her people.

Attached to that is the whole l0tura bullshit. Allura gets thrown into a poorly developed relationship with lotrash, the son of the man who killed her entire race, and another genocidal murderer. Whether or not he agreed with the decision does not matter: he still committed genocide. He tricked Allura into trusting him by stating he ‘saved’ those he could, and created a sanctuary for them, but then it is revealed he’s been slowly experimenting and torturing them to extract their life force in what feels like a very shitty attempt at a holocaust comparison.

In general though, the show just. Loves throwing Allura through unnecessary suffering and humiliation in an attempt to humble her and you can just. Tell the creators have some weird hatred for her.

The fandom isn't any better. If they criticize an Allura based ship, they often demonize her in particular, accusing her of using x as a rebound, or erasing her and replacing her with other characters to fulfill other ships. This is most common with kl@nce edits, where people often replace Allura with Keith.

Also fun sidetone: there is an entire “racist allura” tag on Ao3, and tons of posts dedicated to tearing her to shreds for not trusting Keith.

There’s. a lot more but that’s all I can think of off the top of my head.

Lance

I love Lance, and he was such a cool, three dimensional character in season 1. After that, he became the comic relief character, who got dumbed down to be mocked and make Pidge look smarter. Lance’s character development comes and goes as it suits the writers convenience in the narrative, and his pain is constantly played for laughs. The show’s writing makes it so that his two best friends have practically abandoned him and continuously mock him, and the show continues to avoid addressing the major fallacies between what we are told (ie Hunk and Pidge are Lance’s best friends, and he is a valued strategist on the team) and what we are shown (Hunk and Pidge ignore Lance, mock his struggles and shut him out, and Lance’s cleverness is played down for comic relief, and him often being portrayed as unreasonable). There’s honestly a lot more, but this is already exhausting. Just, the entire show is set up to disrespect and humiliate Lance for laughs, and/or to make Pidge look smarter.

Also like. The fandom is obsessed with writing “angst” bc they love seeing Lance suffer.

Hunk

If there is one character that shows that the show runners really don’t mean it when they claim voltron is a ensemble show, it’s Hunk.

Hunk really got the shortest end of the stick when it comes to characterization. This is Hunk’s current known traits:

Likes food

Sometimes stubborn

Likes food

Cowardly

Smart, but only to the point that it does not threaten Pidge

And that’s pretty much it. Hunk is constantly played off as a fat joke, and a bumbling idiot, even though he is supposedly the team’s genius engineer. Season one did a pretty good job of establishing Hunk: he was a bit clumsy, but he was a quick thinker, and incredibly intelligent. He was empathetic. He was scared, but he stood up for what he thought was right. He was strong and sweet, but a little awkward. Season two and beyond took all that development and yeeted it out the window, basically making Hunk into a walking food joke. Currently, his only consistent traits are that he likes food to the point of being portrayed as a glutton, and that he is a coward. There’s an episode in season 7 thrown his way that briefly addresses the “coward” bit, but then everything returns back to normal. 

The show loves to throw Hunk under the bus in order to make Pidge look smarter. One great example of this is in one of the canon vld comics, where Pidge turns Hunk into a mindless lab rat by putting a pie in the center of a maze for an experiment, then letting him loose in it:

(like. seriously..?) Pidge uses Hunk as a tool to prove a point and entertain her, which is. Bad. Honestly? A lot of the racist content has to do with Pidge. Pidge is racist confirmed.

Normally,  Hunk’s love of food would solely fall under fatphobia which is shitty as is, especially since Hunk is a role model for children, but in this case, it is a combination of fatphobia and anti-polynesian sentiment. Hunk is confirmed to be half Samoan, which makes him polynesian. Polynesians are often stereotyped as being fat, lazy, and only being motivated by food. Another example of this stereotype would be Hawaii Five O’s Kamakona, which... the show has its own problems but I thought I would mention this (I mean they show Kamakona as an informant who sold out for a can of spam) 

Hunk also rarely gets lines. Like I think in season 3 or 4 he had like. Seven lines total? He just rarely gets to shine for a main character, and he is the only one that hasn’t had an “arc” out of the main cast, unless you count the Balmera arc, which really does not count because it just establishes his character not that that character is followed in the rest of the seasons

Generally, the characters of color tend to be treated the worst by the show. Lance and Hunk constantly get dumbed down, played for comic relief, ridiculed and injured for comedy; Allura is treated like she's a bad person and gets emotionally manipulated nonstop, and generally, the brown characters are the ones that lose the most.

Lance’s grandfather dies offscreen, Hunk’s parents are locked up in a concentration camp, Allura lost her entire race, Adam is one of two onscreen casualties in the main battle to “portray the horrors of war”, the list goes on. Keith technically lost his family, but he now has Krolia, and Shiro adopted him.

Also bonus:

This is Kinkade’s official stat sheet, and they put down that one of like. Three black characters communicates through grunts. Holy shit.

Homophobia

This one is more recent. Season seven saw another wonderful addition to the “Bury Your Gay’s�� Trope, in Adam, Shiro’s ex-fiancee\. Adam’s reveal was hyped up by the crew, and we got an official statement that Adam was Shiro’s ex fiance and we would get to meet him this season. By meet, they really meant see him die after him being on-screen for less than a minute. Not only was Adam and Shiro’s “establishing relationship scene” utterly ambiguous, it was also the only time we saw Adam before he got killed in battle, where we got to listen to his screams as his ship exploded. For many, myself included, this scene was incredibly triggering and poorly handled (for me personally, it took me about 20 minutes to come down from a panic attack).

Obviously, this did not go over well, and fans reacted, with a few people even creating Voltron Letters, a twitter account dedicated to letting people air out how the reveal hurt them. I would recommend checking it out. 

The cast and crew did...not handle damage control well. The show runners put out an “apology letter” that basically said “sorry you were offended” then continued to like comments stating they did nothing wrong and ‘those antis were crazy and toxic’ so uh. there was that, Bex was Bex and basically claimed we queerbaited ourselves then claimed they were being sent death threats (despite not doing anything when Bex’s fans were sending death threats to a 13 year old), and the rest stayed pretty quiet from what I could tell.

The showrunners continue to brush off people voicing concerns about the prevalence of predatory ships in the fandom, taking on the philosophy of “ship and let ship” about ships between children and adults, and seem to be attempting to pander to said shippers in a bid to get fan views back.

The ‘bloodthirsty lesbians’ trope also comes into play with Ezor and Zethrid, who are implied to be together, torture the main cast, then almost immediately are killed off.

Theres also like. Everything Bex has done in the past few years. 

Not to mention the show uses queerbaiting as a way to hold onto viewers.

Once again, there’s a lot more, but this is lowkey exhausting lmaoo

Ableism

The main thing here is the fact that most of the characters with prosthetics are either evil, or constantly suffering for tragedy porn. I think this post explains it really well. 

[t0m0kii]

green (bc u think ur ugly but ur not u fool!!), teal, yellow, white bc ur a fucking cryptid, scarlet, maroon, periwinkle, mauve, blush, fuchsia, copper, lavender, coral, razzmatazz, saffron, timberwolf, fallow, chartreuse, and burgundy. i lov u so much i'd die for u and if i ever meet u i will hug you so fuckign much if my ocd hell brain lets me

“GREEN = I think you’re cute.”

hnNBNJDBS ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT ((no but rlly thancc you H))

“TEAL = We have a lot in common”

we rlly do !!! that’s why we’re best friends ajsfbf

“YELLOW = I don’t know you at all.”

o definetely not, not a BIT no SIRREE we’re definetely not b E S T F R I E N D S or anythin

“WHITE = You scare me”

EVERY SECOND YOU AREN’T RUNNING I’M ONLY GETTING CLOSER.

“SCARLET = You have influenced my decision/thoughts on something.”

d e a d a s s ? damb idek what i’ve influenced but by god i’ve done SOMETHIN

“MAROON = You taught me something new.”

D E A D A S S ? wot have i…….taught you…….my child………

“PERIWINKLE = You make me laugh”

man i’m barely even funny but you’RE THE FUNNIEST YOU’RE FUNNIER THAN I AM BUT THANCC YOU

“MAUVE = You are really talented”

HGSHGFHGD NO U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“BLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.”

LITERALLY right back atcha my dude

“FUCHSIA = Your blog content is gold”

THANCC YOU…………NO U

“COPPER = Your blog content is trash (and I love it)”

GHSBDFVFNDS IT RLLY IS IT’S A BIG OL TRASHOLE BUT I’M GLAD YOU LIKE IT

“LAVENDER = You inspire me”

AWWW…OH MY GOD…I’M LOV YOU

“CORAL = You’re a meme”

i am a living meme. i breathe shitposts

“RAZZMATAZZ = I would share my favorite food with you”

and i would share mine with you !!!!!!!

“SAFFRON = I love your ideas”

GHHH MY IDEAS ARE CHAOTIC BUT SOMETIMES THEY ARE ! DECENT ! BUT YOUR IDEAS AND MY IDEAS MAKE ONE WHOLE BIG GOOD IDEA

“TIMBERWOLF = I trust you”

i trust you with my life

“FALLOW = I want to run through the Northern wilderness barefoot with you”

BITCH IF YOU DIDN’T LIVE SO FAR AWAY I’D SAY LET’S GO RIGHT NOW

“CHARTREUSE = You’re my homie”

you my homie…my homeslice breadslice….my cash money comrade…..my business partner and NOTHING MORE

((SIKE! WE BEST FRIENDS))

“BURGUNDY = I get excited when I see posts from you”

half the time you probably have ZERO idea what i’m talking about tho bc it’s always real incoherent hours for me 24/7 LMAO BUT I ALWAYS LOVE SEEING YOUR POSTS TOO

KENZIE I DEADASS LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK AND I COULDN’T POSSIBLY ASK FOR A BETTER BEST FRIEND I LOVE YOU BIIIITCH I AIN’T GONNA EVER STOP LOVING YOU B I T C H DRINK WATER SIRI SEND POST

[123kroko]

Green Cinnamon Mauve Blush Indigo Razzmatazz Saffron Burgundy

Thank you I think ur pretty green-cute to. I wish there was more ways to say that I appreciate for every ♡ I get from you.(sorry for the long wait I had so much work to do to improve on few things and real life. I feel like a million bucks with ur constant support it makes me want to make better content each day.)

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (69/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

King-Sized 69th Chapter:

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[1 December 236 Before Age, Extraliga]

Zatte didn’t know where she was or how she arrived.  Everything was... not dark, but very dim and indistinct.  It was quiet, but not entirely silent. She thought she could hear something nearby, but she could not recognize the sound, or locate its source.

And then she saw the light, a tiny pinpoint that seemed to grow larger.  Without knowing why, she approached it.  As she did, she felt a warmth from the golden radiance, and she knew everything would be all right...

When she was close enough to see the source of the light, she could tell it was a woman.  Surrounded by flames of saffron, the radiant female held out her hand to Zatte, inviting her to take it.

Zatte accepted this unspoken offer.  She didn’t know why, and for some reason she vaguely recalled something being wrong with her hands, but when she looked she could see nothing out of the ordinary.  Everything was fine, even if she didn’t understand.  She placed her hand in the woman’s, and smiled.

And then the woman shouted an obscenity, and everything went white.

*******

Zatte found herself lying in a field by the side of an asphalt road.  She sat up and looked around to find that her surroundings were familiar, but different.  She had been here before, although ‘here’ was wasn’t really a place at all.

Across the road was a roadside bar, or rather, what was left of it.  The building looked as if it had burned down recently.  The roof had mostly collapsed, supported only by what remained of two walls.    Under the light of a lonely streetlamp, she could recognize certain architectural features in the ruins, but these had all been blackened with soot.

In her quest to save the people of Extraliga, Zatte had entered into a telepathic link with three aliens from the other side of the galaxy.  This ‘place’ had served as a common reference point for their minds, allowing them to share information without being overwhelmed by the flow of abstract thought.  But the roadhouse had never looked like this before.  Also, whenever she visited it, she had been aware of her physical self in the real world.  That was no longer so, and she didn’t know what that meant.

"I don’t know what it means either.  I kind of screwed up here."

Zatte turned to find she was no longer alone.   It was the woman from before, now standing beside her, still glowing as brightly as ever.  Only this time, Zatte recognized her.

"Luffa," she blurted out.

Just saying her wife’s name made Zatte feel better.   Zatte’s people, the Dorluns, were a race of survivalists, but Luffa was the Legendary Super Saiyan, the ultimate warrior of a tribe of warriors.  She didn’t just survive, she conquered.  More importantly, Zatte believed her to be a xan-nil’Dor, a pivotal figure who would do great things for the universe.  She had seen Luffa defeated and humbled, and trapped, but she had also seen her overcome those circumstances with the fiery will of a Saiyan.   Whatever was happening here, Luffa would figure it out.  As long as they were together, Zatte knew she was safe, and that they would prevail.

"I’m glad to see you too, Zattie,” Luffa said.  “What do you remember?"

"I was in the cavern trying to stop the Recollector," Zatte said.  "I tried to alter its power flow, but I got hit with some kind of feedback... My hands..."

She looked at her palms and found nothing wrong with them, but she could remember having looked at them before, and finding second degree burns.  She also remembered a pain that radiated almost all the way up to her shoulders.

"I found you in the cavern and took you to a hospital," Luffa said.  "There was some nerve damage, but the doctors told me they could get that fixed up.  Same deal with your hands.  The bad news is that you went into a coma."

"How long was I out?" Zatte asked.

"You’re still out, Zattie," Luffa explained.  "The doctors on Extraliga didn’t know enough about Dorlun brains to bring you out of it.  We brought Dr. Topsas in to help, but he’s stumped too.  So I tried to use my mental powers to see what I could do for you."

"But you've linked minds with me before," Zatte said.  "It was nothing like this.  You would touch me and I would suddenly... know things."

She didn’t know how to put that experience into words.  "Beautiful" was the only one that really came to mind, and that hardly explained anything.  The flow of thoughts between Luffa and Zatte was abstract, while Scotch Woodcock’s telepathic conference imitated the real world.  All the participants had psychic avatars, with imaginary scenery and imaginary props for them to interact with.  

Luffa rubbed her chin and shifted her weight to one foot, which seemed out of character for the glowing, golden avatar Zatte now saw.   She wondered if this gleaming image represented Luffa’s self-image, or Zatte’s perception of her.  

"Probably both,” Luffa said.   “My only guess is that potion you took to receive Woodcock’s psychic signal is still in your system.”

She turned to look at the wreckage, and Zatte couldn’t help but admire the way her luminescent skin contrasted with the night sky, highlighting her every move.  Then she saw Luffa scratch her butt, the way she often did when she paused to recite a recipe in the middle of cooking dinner.    

“You lost contact with him, but your mind is still wired for his kind of telepathy,” Luffa said.  “Dammit, I should have called Woodcock before I tried this.  I thought I had this mental stuff figured out, but I don’t have a clue."

"You’re saying you can’t bring me out of it?" Zatte asked.

"I’m saying I can’t bring us out of it," Luffa said.  "I lost all awareness of my real body when I first made contact with you.  Right now, you’re lying in a hospital bed, and I’m probably slumped over you, with my hand still touching your face."

"Now there’s a dignified image," Zatte said with a chuckle.

"Dammit, Zattie, this is serious," Luffa said.

"I’m sorry," she said.  "It’s just... you look so glorious right now, like a museum painting, only you’re still moving and talking like you do in the real world.  It’s funny."

Luffa glanced down at herself, apparently for the first time since she arrived.   “Why the hell do I look like this?” she asked.  “I don’t need to be transformed to read your mind.  And my scars are gone.   Wait, where are my gloves?”

Her eyes went wide and she looked back at Zatte, apparently seeing her for the first time as well.  “Why the hell are we nude?” she yelled.  

Zatte glanced down and noticed she was right.    She looked back up at Luffa and shrugged.

*******

Eventually, the scenery around them shifted, and Zatte and Luffa found themselves in an idyllic woodland near a babbling brook.  It was similar to planets they had both visited in the past, but it didn’t quite match up to any of them.  Unlike the roadhouse, it was daytime in the woodland, though there had been no sunrise or other transition to indicate the passage of time.

"You don’t have to be so tense, Luffa,” Zatte said as they walked along the bank of the stream.  “There’s no one else here but you and me.”

Gradually, Luffa’s appearance had changed to resemble something closer to reality.   Her hair was black again, and the fur on her tail was brown.  Her clothing and scars, however, had not returned, and there was still a golden aura that radiated around her.  

“You said Ensign Liberty’s costume was different when you saw her in the roadhouse,” Luffa said, desperate to focus on the problem.  

“She’d been studying a lot of Wistian records,” Zatte said.  When I met her in person, her suit was blue, white, and red, but in the roadhouse, it was black and silver, like the colors worn by Wistian soldiers.  She seemed to think she was absorbing some of their culture, and that was why her psychic avatar was different.”

“Uh-huh.  What about Tobiko,” Luffa asked.  

“He looked like a young Wistian man,” Zatte said.  “Golden skin... handsome, I suppose.  But he said that was only how he used to look before he was disfigured by a curse.”

“But you were all wearing clothes, right?” Luffa asked.  

“No, we all stripped down and had an orgy,” Zatte grumbled.  “Of course we were wearing clothes.”

“Then why don’t we have any clothes on now?” Luffa asked.  

“I don’t know, probably because we haven’t seen each other in a few weeks,” Zatte said.  She reached out and took Luffa’s arm in her own.   “Why don’t we find a nice place to sit, and you can tell me all about how you beat the Shockmaster and saved Extraliga.”  

“There’s nothing to tell,” Luffa said with a snort.  “Once he realized the Ur-Ember wouldn’t show up like he planned, he completely gave up.  It was like he lost the will to live.”

“What about his invasion force?” Zatte suggested.  

“Mostly mercenaries and conscripts,” Luffa said.  “They were demoralized from the start.  Once they realized their leader was dead, they couldn’t wait to surrender.”   She turned her head to Zatte and smiled.  “But they were the second string.   The real meat of the Shockmaster’s military was the bunch he sent in the first invasion, and you took care of them months ago.”

Zatte liked the pride Luffa put behind the word ‘you’.  “That spot looks good,” she said, pointing to a patch of grass ahead of them.  “We’ll get comfortable, and you can tell me more about it.”

“I already told you everything,” Luffa said sharply.   “The Shockmaster’s dead, and Extraliga’s secure.   There’s nothing else to say.”

Zatte stepped ahead of Luffa and walked backwards while she took her hands in her own.  “Well that’s fine,” she said, batting her eyelashes.   “I wasn’t in the mood to tallk anyway, so we can just skip straight to--”

“This is hardly the time!” Luffa growled.   “You’re in a coma, Zattie.  I’m trying to bring you out of it.”

“Well, I don’t feel like I’m in a coma,” Zatte countered.  “I feel pretty great actually.   The sun is shining, you’re here, and this is a beautiful place.  It reminds me of stories about the Dorlun origin-world.”    

“It probably is the Dorlun origin-world,” Luffa said.  “Or at least what you think it must have looked like.   Everything we see and do here has to be conjured up from our imaginations.  It’s just like Woodcock’s roadhouse, only neither of us knows how to control it.”

Zatte tugged on Luffa’s hands, trying to lead her to the patch of grass she had picked out.  When she wouldn’t budge, Zatte leaned in and kissed her on the lips instead.  Luffa resisted for a moment, and if she truly wanted to reject Zatte’s advances, she could have shoved her away with the slightest fraction of her immense power.   That was part of the thrill of being with her.

But Zatte knew her wife, and she knew something about how her Saiyan mental powers worked, and how they had used them in the past in quiet moments of intimacy.   And so when Luffa pulled her closer and returned the kiss, Zatte wasn’t terribly surprised.  

“We can stay,” Zatte whispered into her ear.   She ran her hand up the back of Luffa’s neck, working her fingers through the short, thick hair on the back of her scalp.  

“I have to get you back,” Luffa murmured.  

“Back to what?” Zatte asked.   “We won the war.   We did our part, xan-nil’Dor.  I always wanted to burn for you and now I have.”

“Zatte, I’m honored, but I never wanted you to suffer because of me...”

“I just wanted to share in your cause, become part of what you stand for.  And now we’re stuck like this, lost in each other’s minds.   Maybe this is heaven.  I mean, we can have anything we want here.  Be anything we want...”

*******

Somehow, the world around them changed again, and Zatte clapped her hands excitedly when she recognized the scene.  

It was a desolate wasteland under a twilight sky, and the first stars were just beginning to appear.  A large campfire roared behind her, and standing in front of her was Luffa, now clad in various copper jewelry and ornaments, none of which really constituted “clothing” in any meaningful sense. For her part, Zatte was adorned in strings of beads, all colored vivid shades ranging from blue to green.

“There’s an old myth about how the Dorlun who first learned to smelt copper from ore,” Zatte explained.   “She would make ornaments from malachite and azurite she found while her tribe searched for nuggets of native copper.   They were pretty, but they served no real purpose, and her village cast her out for what they saw as vanity.”

“Copper?” Luffa asked as she looked at one of her bracelets.  

“Yeah, it’s not much harder than rock, but you can mold it into shapes more easily and make better tools with it,” Zatte explained.   “You can find it lying on the ground in certain places, but she was wasting time picking up useless rocks because they were pretty, so they kicked her out.”

“What happened to her?” Luffa asked with a skeptical look in her eye.

“She was all alone in the wilderness, when this mountain spirit shows an interest in her beads and she offers to teach her smelting in exchange.  That way she could produce far more copper than what the tribe could find on the ground.  The Dorlun agreed, so the spirit whisked her away to this place, where she spent three days and nights teaching her the secret.”

“Were they naked too?” Luffa asked flatly.  

“Probably not,” Zatte said with a shrug.  “But I always liked to embellish it a little in my head.  Make it into a romance.  The moral of the story is about how resources aren’t always in plain sight, but I liked the way the heroine was an outsider to her people, but still made a contribution.”

Luffa waved her hand at the scene around them, and became annoyed with the way the baubles clinked and jingled as she moved.  “You made all this happen?” she asked. “Deliberately, I mean?”

“I didn’t exactly plan it out,” Zatte said.  “It just popped into my mind and then it appeared.”

“Then maybe we’ve got a chance,” Luffa said.  “If we work together, we can will ourselves out of this.  Maybe we just need more practice...”

“Why bother?” Zatte asked.   She threw out her hands, then gestured back to herself.  “Luffa, there’s nothing for us out there.  Here, we have each other, and anything else we want.”

********

Luffa flinched as the scene changed again.  This time they were in some sort of courtyard, surrounded by ivy and marble statues.  Zatte was reclining on a stone bench, leisurely eating a piece of fruit.

“What story is this from?” Luffa asked.  

“A photograph I saw once in a magazine,” Zatte replied.  “I just decided I wanted to lie down, and we didn’t have any seats where we were before.”

She did her best to strike a seductive pose and took another bite of her fruit.  Under different circumstances, Luffa might have been duly seduced by this, but she was beginning to lose her patience.

“You see, Luffa?” Zatte said.   “This is paradise.  What more can you ask for?”

Luffa glared at her.  “Some paradise,” she grumbled.  “A lot of pretty scenery and some art.  The dress code’s pretty lax, so that’s a plus.  But to a Saiyan, it’s nothing more than a prison.  I’ve got a nice cellmate, but I had you out there too, remember?”  

*******

The scene changed again, and Luffa and Zatte were standing in a cozy apartment for two.   Luffa was sitting at a desk in front of a pile of bills and an adding machine, and Zatte was holding a rolling pin in her left hand while she wagged her index finger of her right.

“The universe was a prison, too, Luffa,” Zatte replied.  “Don’t give me that ‘I need a good fight’ routine, buster.”

Luffa could hear people laughing, but there was no sign of anyone else.   She made a confused face and glanced at one of the apartment walls, and the laughter came once again.

“As a Super Saiyan, you don’t have anyone to give you a proper challenge,” Zatte went on.   The audience giggled.  “You thought the Shockmaster was a worthy adversary, but now he’s gone and you’re just as unsatisfied as before.”

“So I should retire?  Is that it?” Luffa shot back.  Again, the sound of laughter.  Luffa snarled at them, but they only laughed more.

********

Now they were on either side of a food cart on a lonely suburban street in the early evening.   Luffa was serving a stew of fishcakes, boiled eggs, and vegetables to Zatte, who sat on a stool.  

“I’m saying the things you want don’t exist out there,” Zatte said as she took a swig from her beverage.  “You have no rival, your wife’s in a coma, and your son is gone.  You can’t even chase after revenge because you already gotten it.  So what’s left?”

“What is left, Zattie?” Luffa asked.  “You want me to hang around and keep you company, offering me whatever I like, but so far I’m not seeing a lot that strikes my fancy.”

Zatte leaned against the counter of the food cart and swished her drink around.   “I know, I know.   My darling wife wants a good fight.   I know just the thing...”

*******

They were standing in the front lawn of a large mansion.   Women of various alien species were engaged in various activities.  Some of them mowed the grass, others trimmed the hedges, and some were engaged in calisthenics.   With no small amount of envy, Luffa noted that all of them had clothes on.

“Where the hell are we now?” she growled at Zatte.  

“Beats me,” Zatte said with a shrug.  “It’s your story.”

Before Luffa could demand an explanation, a man’s voice called out to them.  They turned and found him approaching with a female companion hanging onto each arm.  

“Hail, fair maidens!” he bellowed.  “I was not expecting visitors this day, but my mood is too bright to turn anyone away from my retreat!  And aye, your figures are comely enough, at that.  Perhaps I could interest you in... tarrying a season or two, eh?”

Luffa was shocked when she recognized him.   He was tall, powerfully built, with black hair, dark eyes,  and pale, freckled skin.   There were scars on his bare chest and arms, but Luffa noticed that he, too, had at least some clothes to wear: white pantaloons, a pair of bracers, and a golden diadem on his forehead.  He looked just like the statue on Bigreen, and the action figure Zatte had commissioned for Luffa as a wedding present.   In spite of her predicament, Luffa grinned excitedly.  

“Chanisp,” she said with a nod of respect.  “The Legendary Super Saiyan.”

He gave a hearty laugh and the women at his sides tittered with glee.   “You know me!” he said.  “Ah, but that should come as no surprise from a fellow Saiyan.  I, er, hadn’t noticed your tail until just now.”  

“You were too distracted, is that it?”  Luffa snorted as she pointed her thumb towards Zatte.  “The cyclops tore off all my clothes.”

Chanisp laughed again, only louder and longer.  “Is that so?” he said to Zatte.  “Well, I admire boldness, blue one, and if you have the courage, I would invite you to join me for dinner, and afterward, you might manage to denude two Saiyans in one afternoon!”

Zatte smiled cordially.  “One’s enough for me, thanks, but I think my wife might like to have a moment alone with you.”

“Ahhhh, so that’s what this is about,” he said.  “A formal challenge, is it?  Well, come ahead, little Saiyaness.   Let us battle to the content of our savage hearts--”

Luffa struck him before he could finish, knocking him high into the air.  With a contented growl, she leaped after him.  

*******

Their battle was everything Luffa had ever dreamed of and more.  Most Saiyans would have been bitter or resentful to see her true power unleashed, but Chanisp was thrilled.  It was as much of a joy for him to fight another Super Saiyan as it was for her.  

She estimated that she had a slight edge in power, but it was very slight.   It would take her hours to defeat him, and that was assuming he didn’t have some trick up his sleeve to beat her.   Of course, he had invited them to stay for a while, so she could always ask for a rematch in the morning.  

Every move he made was crisp and sure, forcing her to be at least as good as she’d ever been.    She could almost feel herself becoming a stronger fighter as they battled.  This wasn’t some pretender like her father, or a trickster like Hamey, or an overpowered megalomaniac like the Shockmaster.  Chanisp was everything she wanted in an opponent.  Best of all, she could tell he felt the same way about her.  

“I’d long dreamed of facing Old Darbock in a match like this,” he said as they deflected each other’s blows.   “I should have known that one of my descendants would prove a more stimulating challenge!”

“Too bad we can’t invite Darbock to join us,” Luffa said with a smirk.  “With the two of you working together, it might actually be a fair fight!”

“Hah!  Why stop there, woman?” Chanisp laughed.  “Gather all our yellow-maned ilk together and let us fight a war to end all wars!”

“Fine by me, old man!” Luffa said.  “And the losers cook dinner for the winner!”

“Ah, mind your pride, daughter of Chanisp!   You might win the battle but lose the war.  I may be a brilliant fighter, but my husband will tell you that I am a miserable cook.”

“Wait, what?”

She was distracted enough that he should have landed an easy punch to her jaw, but instead his fist slid straight past her, barely clipping the edge of her ear.  She immediately backed away to a safe distance and regarded him carefully.  

“I said my husband loathes my cooking,” Chanisp said.  “Not unjustifiably, though he does grant that I make up for it in... other respects.”

“You’re into men?” Luffa asked.  

“Profoundly.”

“But the harem back there... that lady mowing your lawn...”

“Mine is an... open marriage. I admit most Saiyans wouldn’t approve.” There was a sheepish look on his face that quickly turned into a confident smirk.   “Fortunately, there is very little most Saiyans can do about it.”

“Okay, fine,” Luffa said,  “but the stories about you never said you were bisexual.”  

He shrugged.  “More fool the storytellers.   They must have blanched at the full extent of my bedroom exploits.  Alas, you, the younger generation, have been cursed to toil in ignorance.”

“Maybe so, but that’s not what’s going on here,” Luffa said.  “A bi Super Saiyan, well I’m proof it can happen.  Honestly, the harem was the part I always had trouble buying into.  I mean, it sounded cool, but I could never imagine a Saiyan having that many lovers all at once.  And you missed with that punch a minute ago.  My mother could have tagged me with that one, and she’s been dead for years.”

“Quite so.  Shall I try again?”

Luffa shook her head.   “I think you’re only bisexual because of wishful thinking on my part.   I looked up to you my whole life, and I liked the idea that I could cook and you couldn’t.  Y’know, to give myself an edge on you.   And I liked the idea of you being bisexual because it gave us something in common.  Uh, this was before I got my hair to do the thing.”

“Of course.”

“And you look just like the statue I saw on Bigreen.  Not even a little bit different.  And you fight just well enough to keep me entertained, but you can’t actually beat me, can you?”

“That,” he boasted, “remains to be seen, proud one.”

“I don’t think so,” Luffa said.   “I knew none of this was real, but when I saw you I managed to let myself buy into it.  I mean, when will I ever get a chance to fight Chanisp again?  But you’re not really him, are you?  Fighting you is no more satisfying than fighting a daydream.  At least the Shockmaster had a mind of his own.”

“Indeed,” Chanisp said.  “Then it would be pointless to continue. I fear that I have nothing more to offer you, unless you wish to avail yourself of my consorts.”

“Uh, thanks,” Luffa said, “but that’s basically the same problem.  None of this is real.  I’m here to get my wife back to reality, but she won’t cooperate.   She wants to stay in this fantasy.  She wants me to stay with her.”

“Perhaps,” Chanisp suggested,  “in her heart, she knows she must leave, though she desperately wishes it were not so.   She holds you here not to imprison you, but so that you will help her to face what she cannot bear to face alone.”

“I don’t know how to convince her,” Luffa said.  “Here, she can do whatever she likes.   Even if I could leave by myself, she knows I’d never abandon her to this.  All she’s got waiting for her in the outside world is a lot of pain.”

“Do you love her, daughter of Chanisp?” he asked.  

The directness of the question bothered her, but she took a deep breath and answered him honestly.   “I never thought I’d love anyone again after the way my last marriage ended.  She’d do anything for me.  She believes in me and it pushes me to do better.  No Saiyan could ask for a better wife.”

Chanisp nodded.  “You don’t want to hurt her.”

“Of course not.   What kind of stupid question is that?”

He pointed his thumb at his broad chest and stuck out his chin.  “Do the stories tell, Luffa, how mighty Chanisp became a Super Saiyan?”

“They do,” Luffa said.  “You lost your tail to a demon, and you had to train to beat him, all by yourself,  without the ability to turn into a giant ape.  The way to your revenge was long and hard, but eventually, you got so strong that...”

“Pfah!  Is that what they say about me?   Is that how it happened for you, Luffa?”  Chanisp pointed at his glowing yellow hair, then at his cold green eyes.   Did you become this* through training?”

“No.”

“Then how did I do it, girl?   Tell me.”

Luffa set her jaw and her eyes widened.  “You suffered,” she said.    “Suffered until you couldn’t stand it anymore.  And then...!”

“And then,” Chanisp said knowingly.    “Now it your woman who must suffer if she is to move forward.  She will not change into some unstoppable monster like us, but she will still be richer for the experience, in spite of its agony.   You seek to spare her the pain, Luffa.   But you know there is no other way for her to grow.   It is the way of the universe, and not even legends may change it.”

Luffa considered this for a moment, then shut her eyes tightly and nodded.  “I know what I have to do.    Thank you, old man.”  

He raised his hand in silent tribute.   She flew back to Zatte, and never looked back.

*******

Luffa found herself indoors suddenly.  It was a restaurant, one that she recognized.  

“The pub we went to on Extraliga,” Zatte said.  She was sitting at the same table where they had eaten that night.  If not for the nudity, Luffa might have thought she had been thrown back in time.  

“I wanted to come here after the war,” Luffa said, walking up to the table.  Instead of sitting beside Zatte, she took a seat opposite her, and looked her square in the eye.  “To celebrate.”

“Well, here we are,” Zatte said.  “How did it go with Chanisp.  You must have enjoyed yourself.  You haven’t even powered down.”

“That wasn’t Chanisp,” Luffa said.  “It was just a figment of my imagination.”  

“Well, of course it was,” Zatte said.  “That doesn’t mean you couldn’t have fun fighting him.”  She slid a plate of appetizers across the table to her.   “Try the frog’s legs.  They’re really good with this sauce--”

Luffa swatted the entire plate with enough force to send it across the room.  

“What’s your problem?” Zatte asked.  

“I used to see Chanisp differently when I was a kid.  I believed he was the strongest Saiyan of all time, and that he couldn’t transform.   When I transformed, I thought there was something wrong with me, until I saw a statue of Chanisp that proved he had the same ability as me.”

She raised her hands and glanced down at the yellow aura rippling across them.  “That’s how I learned not to be ashamed of this form.”

“I’ve heard this story,” Zatte said.  “That was why I got you that doll, remember?”

Luffa squinted and clenched her fists.  “First of all, Zattie, that’s an action figure.  Saiyans don’t play with dolls.”

“Whatever you say, dear.”

“Second of all, I only appreciated that gift because I thought you understood what that moment meant to me.  Maybe I was wrong.”

“And what don’t I understand?” Zatte scoffed.  

“That adversity is what makes us grow,” Luffa said.   “I didn’t want to lose my son, or to turn into this thing.  I wanted to run away from it, pretend it hadn’t happened, but I was only deceiving myself.   That statue of Chanisp proved it.  Once I realized he had been through the same hardships, I knew I could face them too.”

“And you did,” Zatte said.  “So, do you want to order an entree, or--?”

Luffa pounded the table with her fist and broke it in half.  She kicked half of it onto the floor and tossed the other half over her shoulder.  

“We’re leaving this place,” Luffa said.  

“Why bother?”  Zatte asked.  “What’s waiting for either of us in the real world?   See if you can tell me without breaking anything this time.”

“I don’t know.   But I won’t find out by staying here,” Luffa said.  “I refuse to cower inside your mind while we both wait for your body to die off.”

“Oh, I’m the coward?” Zatte said. 

“I didn’t say that,” Luffa shot back.  “I’d never say that.”

“Weren’t you the one who broke free of the Black Water Mist’s spell, only you waited a month to do it because you liked it better than facing your pain?”

“That’s low, Zattie,” Luffa snarled.  

“You didn’t mind wallowing in that daydream for a while, did you?” Zatte asked.  “Only that wasn’t a daydream.  It was real.   I didn’t have a choice, but you could have snapped out of it whenever you pleased.”

“I know,” Luffa said.  “And I regret that it took me so long.  I was weak, and you had to suffer for my weakness.  I’m sorry.”

Zatte seemed caught off-guard by her apology.  “I... I know it was hard for you,” she said, trying to walk back what she had just said.  

“I know this is hard for you,” Luffa replied.   “That’s why I’m trying to help you now.  Not just for you, or for me.  For her.”

Zatte started breathing rapidly.   “Please don’t,” she begged.  “Luffa, please...”

“It was Keda who showed me that statue of Chanisp,” Luffa said.  “She saved me from the Tikosi, and then she helped me accept what I had become.  I can never repay her, but I can honor her memory by helping you.”

“Stop it!” Zatte shouted.  

“You couldn’t stop the Recollector, could you?” Luffa began.  “You tried, but your injuries were too severe.  That’s when Keda stepped in and helped you, didn’t she?”

Zatte slid out of her chair and onto the floor.   She wrapped her arms around Luffa’s legs.  “Don’t make me remember this,” Zatte whimpered.  “I’m begging you.  I’ll do anything else, but not this.��

Luffa wanted to stop, but she knew better.  That was why she remained in her Super Saiyan form.  Perhaps it made no difference, especially in an imaginary world created from their joined minds.   But the golden form was a reminder of her debt to Keda, and of Zatte’s devotion to Luffa’s cause.  It seemed appropriate.  

“You were badly hurt in the cavern,” Luffa said.  “And then Keda showed up and tried to stop the Recollector, picking up where you left off.  But something went wrong.   Her plan worked, but there was something she didn’t expect.”

Zatte was silent, and she kept her face turned away.

“Please tell me what happened to her,” Luffa said.  “You’re the only one who knows, and... she was my friend.”

“Some kind of storm,” Zatte sobbed.   “She shielded me with her own body, and then she tried to use her ki to move us out of  the cavern.  Then, she was just... gone.”

The words hit Luffa harder than she had expected.  Maybe it would have been easier if Keda had fallen to a living enemy, or if she had left a body behind.  Maybe it didn’t matter.

Luffa took Zatte by the shoulders and lifted her up gently.  “It’s okay, Zattie... It’s okay.”  

Zatte struck her face.  

“Why wouldn’t you just let me forget?!” Zatte screamed.  “I’m the last one.   I tried to defend the colony on Dorlu Prime, and they all died except for me and Keda, and now Keda’s gone.  I’m the only one left.  I could have just withered away here, and died peacefully in my sleep, and that... that’d be the end of it.”

“I wanted to let you forget,” Luffa said as she held Zatte close.  “I guess that’s why it took me so long to bring her up.   I was hoping you’d talk about it when you were ready.  But I couldn’t let you stay this way.   It’s because you’re the last one, Zattie.  Someone has to carry on, right?   Someone has to find other Dorluns out there and tell them what happened.”

“It’s my fault,” Zatte wailed.  “She never would have come to Extraliga if I hadn’t taken on the mission.  She was worried that I’d screw up and that’s exactly what I did.”

“No,” Luffa said.  “It’s my fault.    If I’d trained more, gotten just a little stronger, I could have crushed the Shockmaster before he ever had the chance to use the Recollector.   Then you never would have gotten hurt, and Keda never would have gotten involved.”  

Zatte looked up at her with an astonished expression.  “You did everything you could out there, Luffa,” she insisted.   “I know you.  You gave it your best, and nothing less.”

“So did you,” Luffa said.  “Our best just wasn’t good enough to save Keda.   It hurts.  It hurts a lot.  But we have to use that to motivate ourselves to get better.”

Zatte nodded slowly.   “And we can’t do that here.   Luffa, I’m sorry. I’ve been such a fool.”

“No,” Luffa said.  “You just had a moment of weakness, that’s all.   After what happened to you, it’s understandable.   I know the feeling better than I like to admit.”    

“How do we get back?” Zatte asked.  

“I'm not sure yet, but now that you want to go back, I think I can figure it out from here,” Luffa said.  “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Zatte said.  “I’ve wasted enough time as it is.”

“You know, before we leave, we could probably imagine Keda here with us,” Luffa suggested.   “Well, I’d want to rustle up some clothes before we try that.  I mean, it wouldn’t really be her, but it’d give us a chance to say goodbye.”

“No,” Zatte said.  “I know a better way to do that.”

********

[16 December, 236 Before Age.  Luffasworld]

Luffasworld was officially deserted once again.   For a time, Luffa had used it as her private training ground, with her companions taking up temporary residence, and various envoys and advisers coming and going as she planned the defense of Extraliga.  Following the Shockmaster’s demise, they began to take their leave one by one, until all that remained was Luffa’s star-yacht, the Emerald Eye.    Now, it too was preparing to break orbit and set course for other worlds.  

As Luffa wandered the decks of her ship, she couldn’t help but note how empty it felt.  It was a pleasure ship, intended to accommodate dozens of passengers in luxurious fashion, but under Luffa’s ownership it had rarely had more than six people aboard at any given time.  For months, it had just been herself and Keda.  Neither of them had really cared that they were running an empty ship together, but somehow Keda’s death made the emptiness more profound.

Dr. Topsas had chosen to remain on Extraliga to help those wounded in the war.   From there, he had made arrangements to visit family elsewhere.  Luffa wished he didn’t have to go, though she had taken up too much of his time as it was.  She would keep in touch with him-- and Wampaaan’riix and Dewbie-- but for the time being she felt relieved.  For now, it seemed better to have her friends at a safe distance from whatever trouble she would encounter next.  

She ended her tour off the ship with the bridge, which Keda had used as her personal quarters.  Her sleeping bag and personal effects were still clustered together along one edge of the deck.  A few empty soda bottles and food wrappers were lying there as well.  Eventually, Luffa would have to pick it all up and decide what to throw away and what to keep in storage.  But not today.   Probably not tomorrow, either.   Eventually.  

Zatte was at one of the bridge stations, manually entering the Dorlun Survival Code into the subspace radio.  It was a simple message, so short and inconspicuous that most beings who received it would dismiss it as noise.     But every  Dorlun was taught to recognize it, and to send the same transmission for anyone else of their kind to receive.    It wasn’t a distress call, but rather an assurance to anyone listening.   “I am safe, and can render assistance if you need it.  Please respond.”

The code could be easily programmed and set to auto-repeat on an unused frequency.  Keda had been doing this on Luffa’s ship for as long as she had been aboard.   Zatte had been the only Dorlun to respond, but Keda had never given up the hope that they could find other Dorluns someday.  

Now, Zatte was entering it manually, over and over again, for several hours at a time.  The Dorluns were survivalists.  They spared little effort for the dead, since it only took vital resources from the living.  Zatte’s vigil was one of the closest things they had to a mourning ritual.  It was a way to acknowledge the dead while asserting one’s own survival.  

They nodded at each other as their eyes met, and Zatte returned to her work.  The ship had already been programmed to break orbit and fly itself automatically to their next destination, but Luffa wanted to double-check the readouts on the bridge as a precaution.  

The Saiyans had no funerary customs whatsoever.  Keda had died trying, which to Luffa’s people was the best possible way to die.   If there had been a body, Luffa might have buried Keda.  If Keda had wanted the publicity, Luffa would have arranged for her to receive some posthumous award for her heroism.   But there was no body to inter, nor public knowledge of her actions.  Luffa rather liked that somehow.  Keda went out in a blaze of glory, leaving nothing behind but the results of her bravery.  

In her grief, Luffa found that she had difficulty controlling her transformations, a problem she hadn’t had in almost two years.  She would be in her normal state one moment, then flash into Super Saiyan without warning.   She decided to put that to use.  Lacking a mourning custom of her own, she decided to invent one, and tried to hold her Super Saiyan form for as long as she could until exhaustion forced her to change back.  

“How long?” Zatte asked as Luffa sat down beside her.  

“Eight hours,” Luffa replied.  “Give or take.”

“Good job,” Zatte said.    She didn’t look in Luffa’s direction, since that would mean catching a glimpse of Keda’s things on the far side of the bridge.  They both tried to avoid looking at it anymore than they needed to.   Instead, Zatte reached out and placed her hand on Luffa’s forearm and squeeed it gently.  “You’re not counting the minutes?”

“Nah.    You know, Keda used to turn herself orange with her shapeshifting powers,” Luffa said.  “Then she’d see how long she could stay that way.   One time she lasted twenty straight days.  Just to see if she could.”

“You think you can stay Super Saiyan for that long?” Zatte asked.  

“I’d like to give it  a shot,” Luffa said.  “Only way to find out, right?”

For the first time in days, Zatte smiled.  

NEXT:  Self-Help.

[ynkkoo-a]

PERIWINKLE, MAUVE, BLUSH, INDIGO, FUCHSIA, SAFFRON, TIMBERWOLF, TANGERINE, CRIMSON, CHARTREUSE

periwinkle  ✧  you make me laugh  .

            get  ready  for  one  big  uno  reverse  bc  !!!  u  make  me  laugh  ???  when  i  was  stressed  n  u  were  jus  sendin  me  pokemon  screencaps  …  u  r  the  light  of  my  life  !  ♡

mauve  ✧  you are really talented  .  ♡

            i’m  gonna  kith  u  !!!  ur  literally  the  most  talented  person  on  this  hellsite  …  kithies  .

blush  ✧  seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better  .

            good  !!!  bc  i’m  always  here  bein  a  dumb  babies  n  u  deserve  the  prettiest  days  on  the  planet  ???  ♡

indigo  ✧  i’ve been following you for a long time  .

            truly  !!!  i  remember  when  we  first  followed  each  other  n  i  was  like  …  this  thememaking  icon  …  i’m  gonna  kith  …  ♡

fuchsia  ✧  your blog content is gold  .

            one  day  i’ll  post  real  content  but  for  now  !!!  luv  for  my  friends  +  mutuals  &  jjk  content  ???  i’ll  take  it  ,  is  a  lil  gold  ,  but  urs  is  even  golder  !!!  ♡

saffron  ✧  i love your ideas  .

            i’m  literally  no  thoughts  head  empty  all  the  time  ,  but  u  support  me  thru  it  all  ,  so  i  luv  u  !!!!!  ♡

timberwolf  ✧  i trust you  .

            listen  !!!  listen  .  i’ll  burst  intotears  rn  ..  i’m  literally  the  shyest  person  on  this  planet  but  i  don’t  feel  shy  around  u  like  .  i  trust  u  sm  ,  the  luv  of  my  life  !  ♡

tangerine  ✧  i love your aesthetic  .

            do  u  want  to  tell  me  what  my  aesthetic  is  ..  does  it  hav  a  name  ..  either  way  !!!  i  luv  urs  more  .  ♡

crimson  ✧  we should collaborate on something  .

            we  shld  !!!!!  i  am  here  for  it  110%  ,  nesskoo  wld  be  the  collab  of  the  century  !  ♡

chartreuse  ✧  you’re my homie  .

            blows  u  all  the  kissies  …  i  luv  u  🥺🌙💖🌸🌷💘🌹💌🌺✨

[topfygad]

Uco Valley Wine Tour, Mendoza, Argentina

With beautiful wineries, vineyards and top restaurants, find out whether going on an Uco Valley wine tour is the best way to explore this region near Mendoza, Argentina.

It was just after 9am, and all I could think about was wine. It may sound like I’m bordering on alcoholism but no, I was in Mendoza, Argentina – an area known specifically for its production of Malbec. Today, I’d be learning about wine, exploring a few vineyards and hopefully tasting a whole load too.

In the safe hands of Kahuak (one of Mendoza’s top tourism agencies) and with bubbly tour guide Anna Laura leading the way, we headed out of the city to the Uco Valley. The tour would take us towards the snow-capped Andes to visit three of the Uco Valley’s top wineries – Salentein, Domaine Bousquet and Andeluna.

Beautiful views on the journey to the Uco Valley

The valley lies around 150km south of Mendoza. It’s a lush region with fields packed with crops (everything from garlic, onions and tomatoes to cherries, nuts and melons) and endless rows of vines. It’s considered Argentina’s ‘new world’ when it comes to wine. Formerly a region producing average quality table wines, Salentein arrived and changed everything. Their icon wines swiftly made a name for themselves, and several others followed suit.

As we passed a checkpoint at Tepungato (meaning viewpoint of the stars in a native language) we spotted plenty of luxury hotels with large gates and long drives. We heard how celebrities frequent these places as they offer ultimate privacy… in fact Ricky Martin happened to be staying at one of them during our visit!

 So why does the Uco Valley produce such great wine? The climate here helps produce grapes with thicker skins, creating more sugar and a greater depth of flavour. In fact, the skins are 3 times thicker than Argentina’s other wine-producing regions – Maipu and Lujan de Cuyo.

Bodegas Salentein

The reception building at Bodegas Salentein is quite a sight. Heavy brutalist architecture in an area of outstanding natural beauty, with a bizarre collection of abstract sculptures standing tall in front. When I ventured inside and looked out to the next building (the winery) things really stepped up a notch. Red roses topped many of the vines, the beautifully snowy Andes jutted out behind, the sky a bright shade of blue, and then the winery in front – a spectacular symmetrical slither. It really was breath-taking.

The winery housed the fermentation area, wine production areas, bottling room and an incredible cellar. We learned about their 3 icon wines and how around 50% of their wine is exported to 40+ countries. Well, with 5000 barrels in the cellar, it would be greedy if the Argentines kept it all to themselves!

Wine production room at Salentein Winery, Uco Valley

After visiting Lapostolle and Vina Montes in Chile, I felt I’d seen some of the most spectacular cellars in the world… but this was something else. The barrels lay on steps leading down to a huge circular area, like an old roman amphitheatre, with large columns leading up to the viewing area above. A grand piano sat in the middle, and I couldn’t resist but play a few tunes. I loved that this was a winery with a real arty side – from the sculptures and paintings, to the regular music recitals they hold in the cellar – creativity oozed out of it.

We learned plenty about wine… but eyes on the prize, it was time to enter one of the spectacular wine tasting rooms. We sampled several wines starting with a deliciously light chardonnay (yes that’s not an oxymoron!) with notes of tropical fruits and only a light oak flavour. The pinot noir had been aged for 10 months and tasted almost like a rose wine, with flavours of strawberries, raspberries and vanilla, then an aftertaste that tasted more of a red. The 14-month aged malbec packed a punch! With its deep purple colour, flavours of red fruits and a long, totally delicious, aftertaste!

After half an hour in the dark cellars, we emerged back into the scorching temperatures and bright daylight. No time to sober up, the next winery was moments away.

Domaine Bousquet

Unlike most wineries in the region, Domaine Bousquet is fully organic – in fact it’s the largest in Argentina. It was great to hear the story behind the place. The French owner had been desperate to set up the organic winery in the south of France but couldn’t find a location with the perfect climate. He travelled the world and in 1998 fell in love with the Uco Valley. He bought several hundred hectares and set to work. Producing 3 million litres a year, Domaine Bousquet exports 90%, mainly to Scandinavia and other European countries.

It was a lovely location, with their own natural reservoir, and a spectacular bar looking out to the vines.

Reservoir and view of the Andes at Domaine Bousquet Winery, Uco Valley

Amazing views from the wine tasting bar at Domaine Bousquet Winery, Uco Valley

They have 4 different lines; Premium, Reserve, Grande Reserve, and Icon. It was interesting entering one of the working production rooms. Unsurprisingly really, it reeked of wine, and was very industrial. Watching men moving crates of grapes around on small trucks felt worlds away from opening a lovely bottle of red at home with dinner.

We sampled a light, crisp summery 2015 Chardonnay, followed by a Reserve Pinot Noir from 2013, followed by the big one – the Malbec Gran Reserve 2012. At 15% it’s the strongest one in their range. They were so different from the wines at Salentein, despite being produced metres away from each another.

Andeluna

Again, with no time to sober up, we rolled back into the bus to Andeluna where we’d finally eat something. When tipsy, I usually crave carbs, but this wasn’t the end of the night, it was early afternoon and we were about to tuck into a 6 course-tasting menu… with wine pairings!

Andeluna vineyards, Uco Valley

Usually I take plenty of notes during restaurant reviews so I know I’ll be able describe everything to you in great detail. My notes for this meal seem to be just a few lines long. No this wasn’t because I didn’t enjoy it – quite the opposite. I enjoyed it so much I forgot about the notes. Luckily, I took plenty of photos and a menu, so all is not lost!

Andeluna Restaurant, Uco Valley

We started with a roasted watermelon carpaccio topped with rocket and a balsamic reduction. It was a really surprising dish – it looked like beef carpaccio, and was salty and meaty in flavour, despite being fruit!

Watermelon carpaccio at Andeluna Restaurant, Uco Valley

Next up a squash pastry topped with ricotta and cured ham, and peaches – again a wonderful mix or sweet and savoury, washed down with an oaky glass of Altitud – a chardonnay from Andeluna’s Reserva line.

Squash pastry with ham, cheese and peaches at Andeluna Restaurant, Uco Valley

The next course was a large fried ravioli stuffed with cheese and served with a salsa containing tomatoe, onion, coriander and pepper. This came with a powerful glass of Andeluna’s 2014 Malbec.

Fried ravioli at Andeluna Restaurant, Uco Valley

When the huge slab of filet mignon arrived, I was already feeling a little full, but it looked delicious. It came with a lemon and oregano butter, a saffron mayo and cute beetroot stars, with crunchy toasted pistachio adding a bit of texture. I went to watch the chefs at work as they fried steaks for the whole table perfectly to order. Flames licked the ceiling as the chefs seasoned the steaks with large pinches of salt and pepper. As ever, a little on the salty side for me, but the full bodied Andeluna Pasionado matched the dish beautifully.

I enjoyed a coffee outside on the terrace gazing out at the bright blue sky and lush green vineyards, and quietly reflected on a great day. It had been tiring – eating and drinking often is… but I’d just about survived. I knew I wouldn’t need another meal, or another glass of wine that day, but that probably wouldn’t stop me!

White chocolate mousse with preserved cherries, coconut textures at Andeluna, Uco Valley

Andeluna Restaurant, Uco Valley

Andeluna vineyards, Uco Valley

If you’re staying in Mendoza, you can book tours to the vineyards in nearby Lujan de Cuyo, but I’d certainly recommend heading out to the Uco Valley as it’s as much about the scenery and architecture as the wine.

Thanks to Kahuak for inviting me along to experience their Uco Valley Wine Tour. The tour costs AR$ 2300 (approx. £112) which includes tours and tastings at 2 wineries, plus a 6 course lunch with tastings. Find out more about the tours they offer here.

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[hypcbcasts-blog]

　　 　 ✫  + * 　 .    * oh my god im GAY!!! im gay henlo, geicos & gals!! the name’s saffron (they&them), ur local plant & bobby enthusiast, here with this mess of an idol ELI MOON!! eli’s a real piece of work & the gif above represents her like 10283728%,, also just . god bless sistar :-// tbh :-// (still not over it) i have a couple stats about ur local stargirl HERE & some wanted plots over HERE & im probably not gonna be on for interaction opening so ill queue a starter up, maybe?? maybe. but! if youre interested in what you find in the aforementioned links & what im finna ramble about under the cut feel free to smash that HEART button & i’ll get to you asap, trust :^) cheers!

eli (born ellie) moon was born in laguna beach, california, with surfers & a thriving lgbt community & lots & lots of days spent by the beach. she had a mom & dad & a younger brother, finn, all of whom she loves dearly

grew up very booksmart, to almost everyone’s surprise; ellie was top of her class all through high school & had close to zero friends because of how buried she had been in her subjects & schooling (ur typical,, Asian Nerd™ lmao)

but she found love in music, joining the glee club at her school & breaking out almost immediately; her glee club advisor was so thoroughly impressed by her that she was the one to suggest ellie try out for an entertainment company!!

so in her senior year she sent a video of herself singing to a few companies & heard back after she graduated from diamond entertainment first who were incredibly wowed by her, so she signed up straightaway!! with her familys support!! & moved out

ellie trained for about two & a half years before being put in lady luck alongside her partner! at that time ellie had been told that the image of cute & bubbly, shy & girly had been overdone, and lady luck was to be different

so from that point on ellie became known to the general public as eli moon, & she was meant to put up this sexy, alluring, flirty (though maybe even brainless) cool girl image which was still the furthest thing from who she was!! bitch jus wanted to eat jjangmyeon & sing & listen to soul music while still reading her novels & watching animal planet :-/

but she went along with it anyway because at this point she was so far in & couldnt just back out now you know what i mean :-//

so lady luck was a huge hit & for a while she was content with this persona & being cool on camera & managing to be herself off it!! but a year & a half in & falling into the wrong crowd here & there led her to really start going all out, experimenting with cigarettes & drugs & alcohol & discovering more about herself sexually & romantically

(though its worth mentioning at this point she doesnt know nor care about how she identifies or what shes really interested in?? it gives her a headache so she tends not to think about it)

at that eli started caring more about how she looked & what she was wearing than who she really was on the inside, becoming more superficial & fitting the flirty, ‘ airhead ‘ persona she had designed for herself to be like on camera; basically what she faked being like became what she really was

& while a part of her is aware of that & is begging herself to stop, well . the other part of her is too busy putting on makeup & taking a million selfies to care lol

personality wise eli is very superficial,, like thats probably the first thing that comes to mind when describing her. she cares a lot about her image & how good she looks, how fun & popular her instagram feed looks, & shes always decked out in the newest supreme clothing (of whom she is a brand ambassador, mind you) & is obsessed with looking good all the time

(she wont admit it though but a lot of her old self still hasnt been evicted completely; she still watches animal planet when she feels like it, & still blurts out random facts every once in a while . if youre a close friend youve probably seen the less self-conscious, less stupid side of her aoisjaoisj)

shes honestly super fuckin flirty without realizing it,, doesnt really know when to turn her on-camera persona off anymore, so she goes around causing scandals left & right because of how careless she is lmao . sleeps around with guys, girls, maybe even both at the same time because shes honestly spun out of control & doesnt know where to go next

underneath it all shes still very kind & warm-hearted; she knows what shes become & lowki hates it (& herself), but at the same time shes already here so [eli vc] fuck it amirite

if youve made it to the end congratulations

stan ikon, goodnight

[aquacure]

Blush, Razzmatazz, Saffron, Chartreuse (I dunno if that's too forward hAh) ヽ(´▽｀)/

BLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.

RAZZMATAZZ = I would share my favorite food with you

SAFFRON = I love your ideas

CHARTREUSE = You’re my homie

not at all!!! gosh that makes me really happy... (the favorite food one is a real testament of trust n appreciation!! u don’t just share ur favorite food with anyone!!) i’d say the same for you!!! thanks so much!!!!!

[britpop-ism]

Jk green teal scarlet maroon periwinkle mauve blush lavender razzmatazz saffron timberwolf tangerine chartreuse xxxxxxx

u just hate my poor fingers huh. workin me to the bone huh. i see how it is. goddamn love and respect from treasured friends, UGH

Teal: Yeah we do have a lot in common #sadbois. also thanks Terezi for ruining this colour forever i h8 myself lads

Scarlet: I hope i can influence ur thoughts and decisions further to involve giving me a big hug please and thanks

Maroon: This could mean anything. this could be highly negative. i taught you how to be an asshole oh no. u taught me how to love my friends, way better

Periwinkle: laugh? at me’? from your ivory tower, yes. boeuresioixare corporate fool, the proletairaairiat have the REAL last laugh when we all die and worms eat you faster bc ur more RICH

Mauve: i have no choice but to concede the compliment. you are so kind 2 me weh

Blush: alfie i can only take so much

Lavender: Alf. Please. Bullying my heart rn

razzmatazz: what the fuck colour is razzmatazz. someone call Jarvis about this. but yes i would enjoy that bc i know ur favorite food is ass you’re such a sweetheart ily

saffron: that’s right we’ve stopped capitalising the colours. the faux-colours. welcome to the twilight zone. my ideas hate me but i’m glad you like them

timberwolf: i trust you too! but this is just a straightup wolf like not even timblerlake wow shirt and tie was a good song he should have another comeback

tangerine: finally somehting i can get behind at this hour. food. my aesthetic is eating all the food thanks

chartreuse: fuck this word. fake intellectual word tryna baffle me doesn;t it know i’m down to two sixths of most of my fingers now. i know i’m ur homie marge mmm donuts fuck

what did we learn? it’s late and i’m not ready to be an adult so it;s a good job i have friends like this to sort of hold my hand and tell me how great i am sleep well everyone remember FUCK punctuation the new world order is using it against you, hail cthulu, earth is hollow, trent reznor is my dad, shoutout to all the bus routes, glyn williams, and bigup to my main man dr eggman and his son dave rowntree, peace and love on planet earth, earth song, worst post ever

[puns-and-fics-has-moved]

HERE WE GO I WROTE THEM DOWN SO AS NOT TO FORGET THEM GREEN TEAL SCARLET MAROON PERIWINKLE MAUVE FUCHSIA LAVENDAR CORAL RAZZMATAZZ SAFFRON TIMBERWOLF PLUM TANGERINE SAGE(when u kick me in the face) CHARTREUSE SHABOOM 💜💜

green - gIRL I AIN’T CUTE UR FUCKEN CUTE STAHP

teal - we do have a lot in common. except you? don’t like? hamilton???? who are you? 

scarlet - ooooohoohoohohohohh i’ve influenced you???? howww/?????

maroon - what could I possibly have taught you?????? you have taught ME the things!!!

periwinkle - aawwwwhhhh you make me laugh too son

mauve - me? tALENTED??? i think you are mistaken monsieur

fuchsia - okay my blog is trash and you know it

lavender - i inspire you? archiiiiiiiiie :’)

coral - bless i’ve always wanted to be a meme. but let’s be real @boldly-going-into-ur-mum is the real meme here 

razzmatazz - you would share your fav food wit mEEE?? ,,,, is it. is it cronchy pasta.

saffron - i love YOUR ideas, friendo 

timberwolf - i trust you too my dude. with my fucken life

plum - chatting with you is v. fun… esp. at 2 in the fucken morning. 

tangerine - girl stoooopppppp there ain’t no aesthetic here

sage - you make mE cry dude. jfc.

chartreuse - homies 4 lyfe dude :’)

here’s the meme