#saezuru translation

[saezurusteve]

Of the various interpretations going around, yours is the one I find myself agreeing with most. And because personal interpretations can influence choices in translations, I really hope that your translation of the last chapters will be available, too. Of course with all the time needed. Thank you so much!

The reason we have translators and why we heavily rely on them so much, is that they actually understand what's going on. Of course we want them to be in love and happy, and if I had my own way, I would make them say whatever I wanted, and I often have (as an extra/joke comic.) That doesn't make it right. Personal feelings should never get in the way of the translation. I'm sure there have been many times where hopeful translators were excited over Yashiro saying something that sounded romantic, only to be let down by his aloofness or creative speech pattern. Then we get the drama CD and his voice couldn't be less enthusiastic or romantic about a particular statement or action. Sigh... such is Saezuru.

Alas, what hopeful romantics are we, Anon? Our day will come. But until then, I will leave you with what we wish were true:

Oh, what the heck...

“One day you will ask me which is more important? My life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing you are my life.” –  Khalil Gibran 

Happy Pre-Valentine's Day!

[swallowerofdharma]

Imagine this one in video format maybe? To start looking into chapter 4 of Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai we take the physical tankōbon: it is at the very start of volume 2, I’d like to show you the cover and and open it, turning the first color pages of it, Doumeki in his blue police uniform. Now let’s look back at both the first and the second volume for a moment. A thing I dislike about many cover illustrations of romance themed books is that they frequently showcase the main pairing and sometimes one of them, if not both, will look at you like it is a photo-shot from a fashion magazine. Don’t look at me please, I am here to intrude unseen in your most intimate moments and you aren’t supposed to know. Characters looking back at you makes your position as a voyeur more obvious. It makes me self conscious, I don’t want to be in the story, I want to immerse myself and disappear while others take the stage and action!

Yashiro looking back at us in the cover of volume 1 is calling us out, but also offering himself willingly, in the first part of the story he is both a voyeur himself (with Kuga and Kageyama) and an exhibitionist (calling out Nanahara for example and later having Doumeki openly looking down at him). He often flaunts his sensuality and he lets others look at his sexual encounters that aren’t in any way related to sharing intimacy, only performance and pleasure. The cover of the first tankōbon is an incredibly eloquent portrait of Yashiro, a powerful introduction to the story. His vulnerability coexists with the empowerment of the submissive role when the rules are laid out clearly in a BDSM scene. Now take the second volume, the cover illustration is strikingly different, and it remains quite unique at the moment: the majority of these covers are centered on the characters and sometimes the background disappear completely. In this case it is likely that you wouldn’t even notice the characters at first. It’s the city at night, the urban lights, the street wet with rain that is predominantly portrayed: the atmosphere, other people under their umbrellas, only looking carefully you see Yashiro waiting at the red light and then Doumeki following behind: they rain is falling on them, they don’t have an umbrella. This is likely the same scene depicted in chapter 7 and on the cover of the sixth tankōbon as well. Imagine me showing you the movie version, if this was a video. Try to smell the rain on the concrete, it’s so real. Look at the lights reflected in the various puddles. The focus is on the environment, we are zooming back to the city, away from the characters, not a fashion magazine photo-shot, but urban photography.

Volume 1 was done, the characters introduced, the setting established, the readership established as well. It contained the first three chapters, but also two other one-shots that provided further details and insight into Yashiro and Kageyama’s relationship and backstory. Doumeki and Aoi, Misumi and Hirata have been also introduced, the set up for the first part of the story is complete, we are invested. Chapter 3 ended with maybe the first moment that is not only sexually charged, but very emotionally charged as well, the first moment where sex happens when there is intimacy. Even when Yashiro asks for Doumeki to pull his hair harder, it’s probably the gesture of Doumeki reaching out to touch Yashiro tenderly that makes it different, makes it the moment Doumeki starts to wonder what if.

I have maintained a special interest and attachment to chapter 4 for a long time now. Although I was invested in the story, characters and style, chapter 4 really solidified for me the complexity of levels that Saezuru has, made me reassess my first impressions, made me wonder if I was trying to read too much into something that just wasn’t that deep, but no. That feeling of knowing “there is something there” wouldn’t go away. I wasn’t sure though so I just asked Georgie @itwearsadress back in February 2023 and I am very grateful for their very thoughtful answers. I will use their explanations on the terms and specific language Yashiro and Doumeki are using in their “scene”. And I am also grateful for Benvey’s observations about the same scene @nanayashi-agenda further confirming that I wasn’t imagining things, that it was possible to read something more into it.

I am going to quote parts of the exchange I had with Georgie, while also adding to it my updated analysis, now that I am a little more confident in my own understanding of things. So initially, I formulated my questions as follows. Yashiro dressed Doumeki up as a policeman and tried to role play as the criminal/aggressor, aiming to be “arrested and punished” - while Doumeki instead wasn’t able to fully comprehend the assignment and act properly, refusing to acknowledge that Yashiro was doing something wrong in terms of infringing real laws. Doumeki simply was direct and literal all the time, while Yashiro was looking for an excuse to create a scene. He was probably randomly referring to potential charges that progressed to the topic of sexual misconduct, because Yashiro was leading the play towards a sexual play. Besides the humor resulting from Doumeki’s straight face and answers - while he doesn’t fully comprehend the assignment - that entire exchange ended with Yashiro being upset and truly angered and I was very dissatisfied with my comprehension of the dialogue. And here came George to my rescue. The number three works really well in storytelling, I have always considered the fact that Yashiro tries three times here as a deliberate choice. So he tries three different charges and for each one Doumeki replies. There is no crime. Yashiro can’t be recognized as the aggressor in Doumeki’s eyes, so as a policeman he doesn’t have to act. There is nothing there.

First. I am referring to the very first page of chapter 4, the one in color. Here’s George’s take:

Now to the particular point you mentioned - Yashiro wants to do some police/criminal role play so he starts riffing some random sexual crimes. The first charge that you referred to is 公務執行妨害罪 or “interfering in the duties of an officer of the law” or something like that. Aside from it being a sexy pretext to do a police role play, it might be a reference to Y being an obstruction to D returning to the straight and narrow after getting out of prison. 🤔 I mostly tend to think it’s just Y being cheeky.

Then after the chapter’s illustration cover, we have skipped a little forward, we didn’t hear if Doumeki answered to that one, which would have probably applied: when we go back to the moment Yashiro is giving him a blowjob, while we follow Doumeki’s thoughts and see some flashbacks of his time in prison. It ties together nicely, when we discover that Yashiro isn’t the first man to do that.

Doumeki recalls how he discovered that he had become impotent, not able to respond to direct stimulation. If in the present he has the police uniform on, in the flashbacks he instead has the prison uniform, the two attires contrasting very loudly, until following his thoughts we go back to the probable cause of Doumeki losing any desire and becoming unresponsive to sexual stimulation: he is shown in his police uniform, his real one, that he was wearing the day he caught his father forcing himself on Aoi. In his self analysis, Doumeki attributes his acceptance to his new reality to two things:

Please, pay special attention to the fading-to-black on those last words: “… and the confirmation that I am not like my father”. That black isn’t only a choice to transition from the past to the present, the black background when scenes are meant to be flashbacks, it is also a choice that puts those words apart and enlightens them more, while also giving them an ominous feeling.

In the present, Yashiro is oblivious to Doumeki’s stream of consciousness, who is looking down at him while also comparing him to his sister Aoi, becoming soon distracted and redirecting his thoughts and focusing on touching Yashiro’s hair. For Yashiro the role play is ongoing, thinking that they are both sharing the fantasy, until Doumeki takes them out of it with his responses to Yashiro’s second and third attempts at provocation. Here’s Georgie:

The second is 淫行罪 or “sexual coercion”. Doumeki then responds that the victim must be underage for the charge to be appropriate. Yashiro comes up with a third charge - 強制わいせつ罪 or “indecent assault” (also known as “carnal indecency”, this law is basically the same as sexual assault - an unwanted sexual advance of some kind) to which Doumeki responds that the victim must protest the sexual act in order for the charge to be valid.

Back when I asked Georgie to clarify the terminology of this scene, I was not sure what I was seeing in here. Was that little dialogue a subtle social commentary about the limitations of the legislation and the insufficient ways the law speaks to the survivors? Was I just reading too much into it? Was Yoneda really going there? Did I want to go that far myself? But I could see that there was something in this exchange that makes Yashiro pause. That reaction Yoneda captured: it truly spoke so much to me and it is so real, I just knew this had to be meaningful. He stands up, kicking the chair, letting his emotions clearly visible, and upset and angry expression, the fleeting promise to not touch Doumeki’s limp dick ever again. It is very rare that Yashiro shows that he is troubled and angry specifically about the recognition of what constitutes rape.

When I recently decided to revisit these few pages from chapter 4 and put together a post to encourage readers to revisit the story once again, I also tried to do a little research into Japanese law. This is just a very superficial review though and I am only very lightly touching on the subject. After the conversation I had with Georgie, in July 2023 Japan's sex crime laws were significantly changed.

Japan's sex crime laws will be significantly transformed from mid-July, as parliament passed a law Friday raising the age of sexual consent and expanding the definition of nonconsensual sex as part of Penal Code reform. (…) As a part of Penal Code reform, the new law raises the age of consent to 16. The legislation also criminalizes nonconsensual sexual intercourse where physical coercion or violence is absent, taking into consideration various factors affecting the victim's ability to consent, such as a power imbalance, that were previously deemed as being difficult to prove. Use of violence, intimidation, alcohol, drugs, or economic or social status are among the factors that will be considered when determining whether an act is consensual. Cases in which a victim has a mental or physical disorder can also be deemed nonconsensual.

Karin Kaneko, What you need to know about the revision to Japan's sex crime law, “the japan times”, June 19, 2023 https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2023/06/19/national/crime-legal/sex-crime-law-revision-explainer/

In the same article something specifically caught my attention as relevant to what Yoneda might have been showing in chapter 4.

In 2017, the law related to sex crimes was revised for the first time since 1907, imposing longer sentences on rapists and recognizing male victims, in addition to categorizing forced oral and anal sex as crimes as well. However, the amendments only recognized nonconsensual sex as a crime if there was an act of violence or intimidation. The absence of violence on the part of the perpetrator was seen as indicating that the victim didn’t resist, therefore making the sex consensual. The age of sexual consent also remained at 13 years old, which many deemed inappropriate.

I’d like you to remember: chapter 4 was published in 2013, well before 2017, the year considered the starting point of the reform and the culmination of the #me too movement in Japan. In 2013 then the law was still the one first written in 1907: forced oral or anal sex weren’t considered or any penetration done with something else that a male penis would not have constituted a case, because the law was written to protect property, not people and only female victims could get pregnant and thus hereditary issues were considered (this not only in Japan). And even after the first reforms in 2017 a male victim who not only didn’t fight back enough to show very visible signs of violence, but had also shown arousal would have not been seen and recognized as a victim of rape. The whole thing is too complicated for me to go into it. But what can be taken from it is that Yoneda was writing about Yashiro in that scenario. That like the cover of volume 2 suggests her characters’ story is set in a bigger and broader context. Remember now how teenager Yashiro used to seek partners that would leave visible signs of violence on his body and, although he would cover himself in school, it was enough for someone to notice. That the fact that violence or pain didn’t impede but instead triggered pleasure had to mean for Yashiro that he had always wanted it and willingly participated in it.

Even when Doumeki would recognize what his father was doing was wrong and was sexual violence - because Aoi was unmoving, she cried when she saw him, but she wasn’t showing any response to what their father was doing to her body - the law as it was when this manga started wouldn’t have been for sure on Aoi’s side. But more so with adult Yashiro, Doumeki didn’t think about it until Nanahara made him realize it during their conversation on the rooftop of the hospital. From the point of view of the law, a man couldn’t be raped.

[saezuru-another-tampopo]

I’m not sure if I’ve already introduced my new website sections, in which I have corrected mistranslations and overly rough translations found in the official English editions of Saezuru, Volume 1 to 6.

Here’s the link to the top page.

Enjoy the difference of my “as faithful as possible to the original unique and beautiful expressions by the author “!

[corfisers]

Same anon here and please, pop off about ryuuzaki, anytime. Especially paralleled to Doumeki. I was rereading vol 5 and 6 (let me tell you that I needed that bc I'm so dumb that this is the first time that I noticed that the yakuza who was caught having sex with Y and expelled HAS A SCAR IN THE SAME CHEEK AS D. I lost my mind,,,,) and in the official translation of my country there a difference that made me connect by contrast R and D.

In the eng trl that you can find online, when Y and R talk in the police car after R was rescued (and arrested), R first thinks "if you were a women, I would have protected you" and this is the same in my copy of the manga BUT a few pages later in my version R thinks "if I died, I wouldn't want him to know" and "if he protects me, I can't take care of him" VS "you'll find out over my dead body!" and "I can't believe he is the one protecting me!" in the eng vers.

The meaning may be somewhat the same but DAMN, the feeling behind it is radically heavier in my version.

I like better my country's version just because at the beginning of vol 6 when doumeki realises that he has been left behind and finds the two cleaners, the same words came up. D says "take me to the boss because I am the only one who can protect me, you wouldn't be able to" and the cleaner scoffs at him "you are the one who is been protected" -and that is the same in the online eng translation. That's something good to chew on, at least for me.

THAT SAID (I am very verbose, I am sorry), tysm for your in depth response at my last ask, it was a super good read and after thinking about it, I agree to your points. Especially because kou Yoneda is a master of silent storytelling, I'm always in awe of her use of silent panels. Her pure visual storytelling is where the worst sucker punches come from. Sometimes more subtle than others, you are right about that, but still very very much a storytelling choice.

hi anon, i'm glad you enjoyed my reply to your last ask, and thank you for giving me more food for thought! i do want to talk about ryuzaki at some point, both in general and specifically the parallels between him and doumeki. i'd need to reread some parts to refresh my memory and take a closer look at him first tho. ryuzaki's one of the characters who i wasn't paying super close attention to initially, but he grew on me over time, in a weird way. like moss

putting some stuff regarding translation and other things under read more (for my poor followers' dashboard experiences sake)

i looked at the original text for the part you're talking about, and i want to say that the translation you have in your version is closer to the original. it's something like "if i died, i wouldn't want him to know [about the stupid thoughts i had back then]" in reference to ryuzaki wanting to protect yashiro if he was a woman. no idea how to put the other sentence nicely in english (the one about how ryuzaki can't take care of yashiro if he's the one being protected), but again, your version seems to be more accurate, and it nicely parallels the part with doumeki. also worth noting that ryuzaki isn't exactly throwing "!" in his internal monologue here at the end of the sentences, and in the drama cd for that part he sounds pretty calm and i guess just… sad. i've noticed some punctuation changes in the translation before and they shift the tone slightly, guess it's one of those cases. wish i had junemanga's translation on hand, but i can't buy it because my country sucks (might ask a friend to buy me the digital version at some point, but idk if it's worth it since there's a lot of mistranslations in it based on what i've seen)

all that being said, my japanese isn't exactly great, neither is my english if we're being honest, so while i can point out and check some things here and there i am definitely not an expert when it comes to translation and i'm only like 70% confident in what i'm saying. just wanted to talk about this because you made me curious and i never bothered to compare the texts for this part before. and i still really appreciate all the work actual translators put in, even if there are some inconsistencies or differences here and there

moving on from the translation stuff - if you get involved with yashiro in some way i guess you're destined to get a cut on the cheek, because nanahara got one recently as well. we only see yashiro slapping the band-aid over it, so idk how the actual cut looks and there might be nothing much to it, but it's still a neat little detail

don't have much to say regarding the visual story telling, i agree with you, it's great, some of the best pages have no words on them, i'm obsessed with yoneda kou's art and she's been a huge inspiration for me since i got into saezuru. love her work so so so much

but yeah, uh, thank you again for the ask, both the previous and this one, i love having an excuse to blabber about saezuru or go look at specific scenes/chapters! going to think real hard about ryuzaki and try to organize my thoughts about him and write up something in the future

[crayonkant]

Word of the day

I had to look it up in the dictionary: “Thirting”, as in, you know, “Thirting birds never fly”…

#love machine translation

[cielelyse]

Favourite 5 Saezuru Scenes

I recently reread Saezuru for the umpteenth time and just needed to gush about it like a crazed person who constantly hallucinates about Yashiro being happy and soOooOOooo.................

1. Why now? (Chapter 25)

These 3 panels kill me always... although it's the entire chapter 25 actually, and not just these panels. This broke me when I first read it nearly a decade ago, and it breaks me every time I reread it. I recently just listened to the drama CD for the first time and wanted to hear how this scene played out (a.k.a. wanted to hear Yashiro moan wkegh;ghwle) and I did not expect to start bawling and sobbing uncontrollably when his flashback appeared. WITH THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING. THEY DID NOT SPARE ME. FUCK. What was supposed to be a tender and gentle and loving and intimate scene between them turned into Yashiro facing the effects of his childhood trauma -- that will never cease to hurt me. Doumeki saying "kashira, kashira, kirei" right before that broke me in a way reading that scene in English couldn't. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS and if I keep writing about it I'm gonna cry again so:

2. Car ride back from Kageyama's clinic (Chapter 4)

This is mostly for nostalgic reasons, really. I first read Saezuru in 2013, and I wasn't used to Yashiro at first. I didn't know what to make of him.

So what happened was that I read "Don't Stay Gold" first and was like... there's a manga about this mildly threatening and unreadable yakuza dude who's Kage's friend…? Who played cupid for him in a weird way? HMMMMM dubious, dubious. Would I even like him? It took me a while, but I finally gave Saezuru a shot anyway, and I remember feeling uncertain about Yashiro up until those panels. I remember it so starkly, because this was the instant I fell in love with him. I think it was because this was the first time I understood the depth of his loneliness (since I hadn't read his high school oneshot yet at this point).

There's just something about how Yoneda Kou-sensei draws these kinds of pages that just resonates with me so well. I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT. It just connects with me the way Yashiro connects with me, and that was pretty much it for me. Obsession sealed. Life signed away. For the next 10 years I would follow the story closely and routinely check every few months for updates. Yashiro became one of my only 3 comfort characters, and rereading Saezuru always gives me a catharsis and sense of peace that I didn't know how to find elsewhere.

3. "To go on living this strained existence... no longer holds any meaning to me." (Chapter 34)

This scene is one that I come back to every time I'm down. AM I A MASOCHIST? I really like the June translation too: "To go on living this strained existence no longer holds any meaning to me." I think the way the panels divided up those thoughts were brilliant!

This especially hurt me because for the entire manga up to this point, Yashiro has stated that he completely accepts himself and he's happy with who he is. It wasn't until his realization during the sex scene with Doumeki and how much he's said/done hurtful things to Doumeki afterwards -- who he considers pure and sweet and good -- that he thinks this.

4. "Falling in love feels like this" (Chapter 33)

The first time I read this, I had to set my PC down, go out to my apartment balcony, and just silently stare out into the night and resist the urge to smoke (that was half a joke) (I did feel a pang in my chest though) (and I did have to fight very hard not to smoke lwkehg;hge). I love the dialogue right after these panels too, when Yashiro said, "Your sister was lucky that you were there." That, along with Doumeki's reaction, hurt.

This was such an intimate scene between them. Yashiro was so vulnerable. So was Doumeki. I hadn't realized this until I reread Saezuru this year, but these two have always had such intimate scenes right from the start. It was a slow burn, yes, but they had always been instantly drawn to each other: Doumeki thinking Yashiro was beautiful and captivating, and Yashiro doing something he doesn't normally do with his subordinates the first time he met Doumeki. And it didn't clue in for me back in 2013, but their conversations with each other were much more intimate than the conversations they'd have with anyone else, right from chapter 1. I find that so precious.

5. Dream (Chapter 40)

I couldn't not include a scene from post-timeskip, BECAUSE I LOVE POST-TIMESKIP. I love Darkmeki and I love Yashiro and I love that the theme of post-timeskip centers around "change". Wish I could include that conversation Yashiro had with Tsunakawa about it, because I thought that drive-home was brilliant. I really appreciate that Yoneda Kou didn't have Yashiro and Doumeki get together right away after they have sex, and I really appreciate that the question was raised of: Do people change? Can people change on their own, or would you have to force them? Or are we always the same at our core? And I think the answer is of course a mixture of all of it, and that it's very much circumstantial and subjective, but I love how we're able to see the shifts in both Yashiro and Doumeki. How both men aren't quite the same people we knew pre-timeskip. Ten years ago I didn't think I would meet a version of Yashiro that wouldn't talk about sex 24/7, but here we are.

(Not to say that they're completely different now. They're still our Yashiro and Doumeki of course; I just wanted to gush about how well Yoneda Kou were able to flesh out her characters in such a complex, multidimensional way.)

ANYWAYS, I went on a rant without even mentioning these panels of Yashiro's dream. I love everything about it: Doumeki's face not showing, Yashiro running away and turning back to see Doumeki not there anymore, and that last panel of him standing in the middle of nowhere, lost and empty and lonely -- all of that was so incredibly told in pages of no words. UGH YONEDA KOU IS A GENIUS. It reminds me of that page of Yashiro looking at a mother and child in the rain; it's one of my favourite scenes too.

Honourary Mention (Chapter 4):

I should end with a more light-hearted one. THIS WAS CUTEEEE. I remember reading this for the first time and thinking Yashiro was just salty that his roleplay got ruined. But upon second reread (and maybe I'm delusional here), I thought he might've been happy to hear Doumeki say that.

We know Yashiro gets angry and irritated whenever he's happy to hear something sweet from Doumeki (like that extra when they ate together LOL), and that he had the same reaction of kicking the chair when Doumeki said he can't touch Yashiro's hair anymore. Which was cute to say. So I thought Yashiro might've lashed out in annoyance because he was glad that Doumeki doesn't mind. (I tried putting myself in Yashiro's shoes so many times trying to imagine how I would feel if Doumeki had said this............. and somehow came up with "happy" xD)

...........or maybe this was obvious to everyone and I've just been clueless. AAAAAAAA THIS IS WHY I LOVE ABOUT SAEZURU SO MUCH. It never spoon-feeds you information and lets its readers interpret :")

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, chapter 56 of Saezuru!

First, I just want to give a huge thanks to @itwearsadress for providing such a quick and amazing translation for all of us!

So, this chapter was extremely, extremely interesting.

My main impression here is that, while there's definitely been a breakthrough of sorts between Yashiro and Doumeki, there's still a great deal of fear and uncertainty in both of them. The entire first half of this chapter was Yashiro trying, in vain, to avoid Doumeki's probing questions. To me, Yashiro came across as really terrified, and I think that terror was coming from the genuine belief that Doumeki was just messing with him, basically using his new found knowledge of Yashiro's impotency as a way to be unkind. Normally, this sort of thing wouldn't bother Yashiro, at least, not consciously, but he's in love with Doumeki. Really, really deeply in love. And we see what his perception that Doumeki is being intentionally cruel is doing to him. It's Yashiro's attempt to shield himself from that kind of hurt, the hurt of loving and not being loved in return, that's making him so resistant at first. I really, truly think Yashiro doesn't know that Doumeki loves him, at this point, and I think maybe he's never, truly known it. We have to remember, Yashiro's self-image is completely warped. He's believed all his life that he's not a person worthy of love, or even capable of being loved. His experience with Kage only served to reinforce that notion in his head.

I'll get more into this in a minute. But first, I want to talk about Doumeki's internal thoughts at the beginning, and what I think it means for the end of the chapter. Doumeki says to himself that he's been concealing his emotions to keep Yashiro from running away. Basically, we finally get a definitive answer explaining why Doumeki's been so cold to Yashiro. It's not so much that Doumeki is afraid of Yashiro's rejection, or that he's angry at Yashiro for that rejection, but more so that he just doesn't want to create a situation again in which Yashiro runs from him. He's trying to keep Yashiro at his side. At the end of the chapter, when Yashiro asks him what kind of sex this is that they're having, Doumeki very deliberately says that he's "a man without principles" and that he's just doing this to have sex. He's saying there's no emotion involved. That he's not "in love" with Yashiro and wanting to have sex with him because of it, but simply that he gets physical gratification from having sex with Yashiro, and that's it. I think Doumeki is saying here what he thinks Yashiro wants him to say, or what he wants to hear, because he thinks it's what will keep Yashiro around.

Basically, it seems to me that while there's some unspoken understanding between them, I think they're both still very much pretending here. Even if Doumeki suspects or knows that Yashiro cares for him, he still thinks Yashiro wants to pretend there's no emotion involved. That that's what's required to keep Yashiro with him.

The awful thing is, this is exactly the opposite of what Yashiro actually wants.

Yashiro's almost startled look after Doumeki says this, followed by a sort of sad resignation, makes me think that he believes it. Because when they first met, Yashiro plainly stated that anyone who developed feelings for him would be turned out. I think Yashiro looks sadly resigned here because he wants Doumeki to tell him he loves him again, he wants Doumeki to tell him he cares about him, but he doesn't, and Yashiro no doubt blames himself for that. I think Yashiro is, once again, resigning himself to the idea that whatever chance he had with Doumeki, he blew. He wants the Doumeki from before, who so openly expressed his love for him, but he seems to really believe that chance has passed him by. That he's ruined it. . He WANTS Doumeki to tell him he loves him, but if he can't and won't, he'll take the next best thing, which is just having Doumeki with him. So he just accepts it. He just accepts this idea that Doumeki has no feeling for him beyond the mutual, physical pleasure they share.

Now back to the first half of the chapter and what it tells us about Yashiro's state of mind.

Yashiro looks truly mortified for a moment when Doumeki shows him the memory card and asks him if he knows what's on it, before falling back into an apathetic attitude. That one panel where we get a close up of Yashiro's eyes shows us almost a moment of panic from him, and I think that comes from the sudden realization that Doumeki must now know he's impotent with everyone but him. I think this causes panic in Yashiro, again, because he desperately doesn't want to have to face Doumeki's rejection, and so he doesn't want Doumeki to know he has feelings for him. Doumeki discovering that Yashiro can't get it up with Inami, or anyone else, is tantamount to Doumeki discovering that Yashiro has feelings for him, which leaves Yashiro vulnerable to Doumeki's rejection. So we see Yashiro go into an extremely defensive mode at this point, pretending to brush it off, acting like he doesn't care if Doumeki watches it, acting like he's not ashamed or embarrassed. Yashiro's acting unbothered, but he's clearly freaking out inside. When Doumeki presses, saying "It seems that it's quite different with me", we again get a close up of Yashiro's eyes, showing a panicked, desperate expression, before he again tries to brush it off as just that "sort of play", trying to paint it as meaningless. Again, he's trying desperately to hide his feelings for Doumeki, to keep Doumeki from discovering those feelings. I think Yashiro's attempts at evasion here need to be understood through the lens of Yashiro's fear, and his belief that Doumeki doesn't care about him anymore. He thinks if Doumeki realizes Yashiro loves him, he'll either purposefully use it to hurt him, or just hurt him through rejection. So he keeps playing it off as no big deal.

But Doumeki keeps pressing, because he knows Yashiro is putting on an act here. He asks Yashiro why it is he's so satisfied with him, and again, Yashiro looks panicked. I think the following exchange is really important to understanding what's going on here with Yashiro specifically.

He knows he's trapped now. I think he knows Doumeki realizes that he can only get it up with him because he has feelings for him. We see again a resigned defeat in Yashiro's expression when Doumeki asks him if he remembers how many times he came. The important thing here is that, after answering that he doesn't, Doumeki says he doesn't either, and again, we see Yashiro's eyes up close, looking startled and hurt, and he slips again into pretending like none of it matters. Again, he becomes defensive, saying sarcastically that Doumeki is just being "mean" now. But Yashiro's expression here is very telling. He's smiling when he says the above line, but I think he means it. I think Yashiro's feelings are genuinely hurt. He thinks Doumeki is messing with him on purpose at this point. That he's rubbing it in, maybe to get back at Yashiro for how he treated him before the time skip. I think this exchange is, once again, reinforcing for Yashrio the belief that he's ruined any chance he might have had to be with Doumeki, and turned Doumeki against him, to the point that he thinks Doumeki wants to hurt him.

Doumeki meanwhile seems to be getting frustrated with Yashiro's continued evasion. We see his hands curling into fists when he asks Yashiro from what point it was he started to feel his body had chemistry with Doumeki's. He wants Yashiro to just confess that he has feelings for him, but Yashiro won't do it. I think, from Yashiro's perspective, he thinks Doumeki is just continuing to rub it in and is enjoying this, needling Yashiro, messing with him. Doumeki isn't, but again, this is from Yashiro's perspective. So we see Yashiro, again, get defensive, lashing out by asking Doumeki about his woman. Yashiro's hurt is obvious here. He's upset that Doumeki seems to be screwing with him, using his feelings against him, and so he lets his hurt over Doumeki's involvement with his woman come out. Again, it reeks of desperation on Yashiro's part. He's trying anything and everything to protect himself from the pain Doumeki's causing him, but he's only exposing himself further by doing so.

And Doumeki again calls him out on it, observing that it's unusual for Yashiro to show an interest in his personal life. Doumeki has Yashiro trapped again, basically telling him that he knows Yashiro is lying by acting like he doesn't care. Yashiro is on the back foot during this entire exchange. And again Yashiro gets incredibly defensive, this time standing up and trying to end the conversation. He knows he's got no way out of this now, no way to pretend any longer that he doesn't care, so he tries to escape it by fleeing. But Doumeki doesn't let him.

We once more see Yashiro lash out defensively, tearing away from Doumeki and telling him what he does in his life has nothing to do with him. His hurt again shows itself when he tells Doumeki that he's got no reason to "fuck" him anymore and that he should just go do it with his woman. Again, I think this exchange is super important. Yashiro is showing once more that he genuinely still thinks Doumeki doesn't care for him. His jealousy over Doumeki's woman is his despair over losing Doumeki coming out. We see once more Yashiro's resigned expression when Doumeki tells him that just like it's not his business who Yashiro has sex with, it's not Yashiro's business either who Doumeki has sex with. Yashiro's resigned expression here tells me again that he thinks he's lost Doumeki. I think Yashiro is operating during this entire exchange with the belief that Doumeki is just there to torment him. That's backed up by Yashiro's next words, when he asks Doumeki what it is he came there to do, and then accuses him of being there just to confirm that Yashiro can't get it up with anyone else and "take pity" on him. Yashiro's expression becomes one of apathy again as he says this. It's clear he's trying to shield himself. He thinks Doumeki is trying to hurt him.

But Doumeki of course isn't trying to hurt Yashiro, he's trying to get him to admit his feelings, and he just keeps pressing, because he knows he has Yashiro trapped.

One more really important exchange happens here, I think, when Doumeki presses Yashiro about how sex doesn't feel good to him with anyone else but him. Yashiro says "So what if that's true? You... You were only doing this to satisfy my sexual urges. What benefit is there to you?"

Doumeki's expression is startled here when Yashiro says this, and then in the next panel, it becomes soft, even sad. I think Doumeki realizes in that moment that Yashiro really believes that Doumeki never had any, real feelings for him, and that he only ever wanted to have sex with him for Yashiro's benefit, not because he was genuinely attracted to or in love with him. I think Yashiro's words here break Doumeki's heart, because of how truly sad that is.

And I think that sadness in Doumeki is compounded by his own belief that he can't just tell Yashiro he loves him. He says, in response, "The body chemistry is mutual". It's the best he can do without actually saying he loves Yashiro, because he still thinks, if he says that, Yashiro will run away. He doesn't realize how much Yashiro WANTS to hear Doumeki say it. Like I said, they're both still pretending here, because they both are still operating under false beliefs about the other. Yashiro under the belief that Doumeki doesn't love him and never has, and Doumeki under the belief that Yashiro will again run away if he confesses his feelings.

And then comes the big moment that everyone keeps talking about, which is an indirect confession from Yashiro of his feelings for Doumeki, when Doumeki says in reply to Yashiro's accusation that Doumeki has said some cruel things to him, "You liked cruel things, didn't you?"

I think Yashiro's expressions here are vital to understanding this exchange too.

Again, Yashiro, for a moment before his answer, looks stricken. The thing is, Yashiro DOESN'T like cruel things. He wants Doumeki, and he wants the Doumeki of before, the one who was so kind toward him. But he can't ask for that, because he still thinks Doumeki doesn't care about him, and he can't leave himself open to the kind of pain he'll experience with the rejection of his feelings. The next panel shows Yashiro with what I would call a resigned smile on his face as he says "I do". I think this is Yashiro saying he likes cruel things still, because he thinks it's the only way he'll get Doumeki now. This new version of Doumeki that doesn't love him, but is willing to have sex with him. It is an indirect confession on Yashiro's part, but it's once again predicated on Yashiro laboring under the belief that Doumeki doesn't love him.

It's really kind of a catch-22 between them, because Doumeki doesn't think he can say he loves Yashiro without driving him away, even as it seems he knows Yashiro cares for him, and Yashiro wants Doumeki to say he loves him, but can't bring himself to ask for it because he thinks Doumeki doesn't love him.

Basically, it's still a mess between them, even as we see a kind of acceptance happen at last in this chapter.

I think people tend to forget that Saezuru is, by and large, a tragedy, and there's a definite air of tragedy to this chapter. A lot of the expressions between Yashiro and Doumeki strike me as heartbreaking, resigned, sad, fearful, etc... I think that kind of encapsulates the general feeling of this chapter. It's definite progress, but it's progress that's still greatly hampered by misunderstanding.

Another amazing and nuanced chapter from Yoneda. I'm extremely eager to see what comes with chapter 57. I'm happy we'll be getting the next chapter at the end of March!

[twitteringthings]

I want to thank everyone who makes Saezuru accessible to those of us who are unable to purchase the actual magazine/books. To all of the translators and people who make sure to keep us updated on Yoneda Kou news, you are appreciated!! Thank you! This is a great group of people <3

[ogata77]

First spoiler chapter 58

The first spoilers for chapter 58 are here and I want to leave you my quick thoughts. I'll start with the cover.

The last image is the new inside cover of chapter 58 and obviously I couldn't help but relate it to these other images. Yoneda usually plays a lot with connections and mirror chapters so I like to hypothesize what he wants to tell us. The first image of chapter 10: "At that time when I was a nobody", shows the moment when a teenage Yashiro is pressured by Misumi to formally join the yakuza. If we continue with the sequence, image 2 corresponds to chapter 31: "Feelings and ambitions intermingle", it is one of the climax moments of the story where they end up accusing Yashiro of the death of a member of the Gouda-gumi. There is a lot of talk about the sakazuki (official yakuza affiliation ceremony), loyalty and it is shown how yakuza groups protect their members in these situations of internal conflict. Finally we have the cover of the next chapter 58: "Emotions are left behind."

All of the above shows us narratively where we are heading in the story at the level of the yakuza (my favorite). Yashiro never wanted to join the yakuza out of necessity, he did it as a sacrifice to help Kageyama (I hope one day he finds out) and throughout his life he has shamelessly shown that he has never truly felt like a yakuza. When the first arc ends and Yashiro loses leadership as wakagashira of his group, "the" opportunity is created to distance himself from the yakuza. Misumi pressures him again and again to work directly with him again but so far he has dodged it with grace and elegance as only he knows how. Until that moment everything was working for Yashiro, he was still like a living dead, but he was half a body away from the yakuza until Doumeki enters the equation again. The cover of the new chapter says that emotions are left behind but will Yashiro be able to leave his emotions behind when it comes to protecting Doumeki? Precisely in the last chapters Yoneda has shown us how they have been gradually resolving their prejudices and emotions but now it is time to return to reality, we are at the beginning of another yakuza conflict.

On the other hand, I cannot fail to mention the visual narrative of the covers. Chapter 10 and 58 are a mirror, both Yashiros look at this little sparrow that represents the difficult decision to be in the yakuza, it is incredibly sublime. And the intermediate scene that has so much to say, Yashiro, unlike the other images, is standing, which means to me that he feels in a more empowered position, and let's add the details of the rain and the umbrella.

I couldn't leave aside the symbolism of these two elements. The rain has always been another character in saezuru, a symbol of pain, sadness, loss and its counterpoint the umbrella that protects me from everything. There are so many memorable scenes with these two elements to name a few: when Yashiro brings the umbrella to Aoi (Doumeki's sister) to protect her from her feelings for Doumeki because it reminds her of when he loved Kageyama, when Yashiro looks at a mother from the car protecting his son, a feeling that he had never felt (this is very sad, Yashiro is a survivor), the past and recent scenes where Doumeki protects Yashiro (for more information you can read aiaigasa). There is so much to remember and analyze that saezuru readers can, without exaggeration, read the story 100 times and find something new.

To finish, I think that for Yashiro and Doumeki it is time to decide whether or not they are going to officially be part of their groups with the advantages and risks that this entails. If you've read this far, I sincerely thank you for your interest in my ramblings and if there are problems in the text, you know, it's Google translator's fault hahahaha.

[saezurusteve]

Do you happen to know how long it usually takes June to produce the English translations for Saezuru? I hope this doesn't come across impatient - I was just wondering! I've been so excited to buy an English copy of Vol 8.

Unfortunately, I don't know the answer to that. And sadly, I'm certain June doesn't know the answer to that either. I don't know why it takes so long. I'm sure being a small operation they blew the wad on the licensing fees. But it most likely comes down to when the publisher decides to release the manga for foreign publication. We just have to wait patiently.

[swallowerofdharma]

Aren’t we keeping going meta? I truly love Yoneda Kou 🫶

Edit: It occurred to me that I could have looked at the Japanese text before making the comparison above, but indeed that seems to me the same expression right there: 意味 imi being the i sound in yaoi.

In no way I am able to translate Japanese, let alone translate it well in English (which is still not my native language) or without dictionaries and AI’s tools, so please always refer to @itwearsadress for asks about linguistics and translation notes and alternatives as I do before drawing any definitive conclusions! But these are very interesting details and someone else may be interested besides me? Also thinking about expressions echoing things previously said, in Yashiro’s monologue he says “It really feels like that's all there is to it”. Which is a recurring expression and turns of words since chapter 3. Yoneda-sensei has been very deliberate and mindful in her choices and in her writing, and I think that it is worth noting how good that is.

[saezuru-another-tampopo]

Finally :-)!!

I’ve uploaded three English essays on and around the work, Twittering Birds Never Fly, and Japanese BL and Yaoi at large, with my proposal for‘Alternative Ways of Translation’ of Manga.

Visit my website, and enjoy reading them.

Please do send me your feedbacks, your thoughts and feelings after reading my essays.

Please send them via my website Comments and Inquiries page.

Thank you!

https://www.sensibilities-eri-kawade.com/3essaysontwitteringbirdsneverfly-english-top

#twitteringbirdsneverfly #saezurutoriwahabatakanai #saezuru #bl #yaoi #manga #translation

[thelonelysoulhome]

Moratorium by Omoinotoke

Moratorium is the original ost from the film "Saezuru tori wa habatakanai : the cloud gather"

This song is really beautyful and meaningful, feels like it was written for Doumeki and Yashiro and it gives again another layer to this masterpiece. So I wanted to share it here.

This is the oficial clip with the most accurate translation. The performance is also stuning :

(Click on the link, to see the translation)

"If the sky stops singing

Will you fly to the place you should come back to ?"

That feel like Yashiro's thoughts to me, his whole narrative about the fact that Doumeki is a lost baby bird and the fear that he could return to his 'home' when the storm calm down.

"If I speak out my voice

Will the rain that wet you stop falling ?"

I interpret those lines like Doumeki's wondering, if he express his feelings for Yashiro, would that help him get's better ?

"Locked, Unable to fly "

Yashiro is trapped in this bird cage. A bird that borned in captivity can't escape 'cause he don't know how to live otherwise, even if you open the cage for him, he won't go 'cause he won't survive in the outside world, he'll choose the familiar enviroment over the wandering of the unknown, even if he suffocates inside, hee'll stay 'cause nobody ever taught him how to fly.

Some time ago I came across this masterpiece animation created by TheOneWithBear, that was made with this song:

Very emotional, impressive, every time I see it , I cry, beautifully made,

this animation is just breathtaking, gives me shivers every time.

The choke hold those panels have on me, literal goosepumps.

That..that broke me 💔 Yashiro embracing his little self... The little boy that never had any sort of consolation...Forgive yourself Yashiro, forgive yourself my dear, none of it was your fault, none of it was his fault, at least do it for the little Yashiro..try for him, try to heal..'cause he deserve it.

It touched me on so many levels, I can't find words to explain how much of an impact that had on me. (I hope sooo much that we could come to something similar in the official story 'cause those panels are engraved in my mind and heart.)

Yashiro needs to break down for good, he needs to cry..burst in tears, let out all the tears that were burried inside for too damn long.

He needs to have the courage and safety to accept that he deserves to get better, to accept that he always deserved better, that all of this was wrong...that he is not an unchanging livestock. He have to acknowledge and allow himself to mourn all the things he needed and deserved but never got, and let go the guilt and shame that never been his to carry. He is such a gentle soul, he deserve so so much, but his soul was so deeply wounded and mistreated that he can't see the light in within himself, febrile, hidden deeply inside him, it's weak but it's still there.

A light that was revived by Doumeki.

Doumeki always been the key, but Yashiro needs to open up to let Doumeki gets in, 'cause it's only when HE will choose to be saved, that he could accept Doumeki's hand.

Doumeki will never be free, not as long as Yashiro is trapped. They need each other to live.

Please, give them enough time to break free together...To end together...even if it's mean that they'll rest forever.

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: Saezuru 7

Title: Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai 7 (囀る鳥は羽ばたかない 7)

Author/Artist: Yoneda Kou

Shop: CD + Manga

Release Date: 2021/07/28

Cast:

Hatano Wataru + Shingaki Tarusuke

Okitsu Kazuyuki

Masuda Toshiki

Ookawa Tooru

Ueda Yuuji

Satou Takuya

Miyake Kenta

Ito Kentarou

Nara Tooru

Synopsis: Adaptation of the 7th volume of the series.

Review Proper

I'm not sure what's gonna end first: the series or my fucking life.

As much as I love Saezuru, it's gone on for so long that it's starting to get old literally and figuratively. You know, I wouldn't even be mad if Yoneda Kou ended the series by killing Yashiro off in 6. 7 is still well-written to a point and the BLCD did deserve to rank second AGAIN in chil-chil 2022, but I'm not sure about the future of this series (it wasn't nominated in 2023 tho which is one of the few good things about 2023's).

I say a lot of things, but I'm still invested in vol. 7 & 8.

I don't know who I'm jealous of, BUT THAT SHOULD BE ME! This scene is in vol 8, not 7, but I wanted to include it anyway.

I do agree that Saezuru portrayal of the whole yakuza deal is the realest 'cause happy endings over there are quite rare, but this isn't a novel that comes out in one go. Doesn't help that June is ass. I've heard from several friends who've read the latest releases that it feels like it's lost its way and that just makes me sad. I'm still hopeful tho.🤧

As I've already stated, this placed second in 2022's awards. I mean, it's Saezuru. Frontier doesn't spare a penny for it lmao. All the major characters are voiced, and they managed to bring the A-listers back again. Sometimes, I forget that Saezuru is actually based on a manga whenever I listen to the BLCDs 'cause the production is just that good.

Shingaki slayed as usual. I've said this many times before, but no matter how bad or how well he does in another role, he will always be Yashiro. I just came from Tsunaida and we're in the middle of a Rei event in Nu:carnival, so I would expect myself to adjust to Yashiro, but I didn't need any of that lmao. Yashiro is truly Shingaki's magnum opus. I'm not at all surprised that he placed 3rd best seiyuu for Yashiro. Deserved.

Speaking of Nu:carnival, I will forever be obsessed with Yashiro's relationship with the other characters aside from Doumeki. Nanahara's voiced by my one true love, Okitsu, but like Yashiro, I love him for his character and not his voice. It is nice having the other veterans in here with him, too. The slut trio is complete with Daddy Complex SatoTaku, Boss Ass Chaser Okitsu, and Damel in Distress Shingaki. #BLESS I want Kamiya to end up with Nanahara.

I haven't heard Wacchan in years HAHAHAHAHA. His Doumeki is still amazing as always. My issues with the story aside, I'm really looking forward to his "break" in vol. 8. EEEEEEE

Special mention to my Ryuuzaki and Miyake Kenta who made their comebacks here too. I missed him so much! LMAO

The BLCD is pretty accurate to the... magazine at least, but June does sell the translated tanko (fortunately). Like the previous installments, reading the manga while listening to the BLCD was so smooth because it was so accurate. Now 7 does end in a cliffhanger, so I don't really advise listening to it if you still don't have 8. But if cliffhangers aren't an issue for you, then break a leg!

[soupscans]

Hoi fellow Soups!

I think I have to apologize for being basically dead in the past months, real life is very stressful atm. We hope to be able to release more chapters again soon!

Until then we're relieved that @itwearsadress feeds you all the good soup in translated chapter form, so noone has to miss out on the English translations of the recent chapters ❤️

Let's still enjoy Saezuru month and hope for a good new chapter on the 31st of May ✨

~Suppenhuhn 🙌

[ogata77]

Doumeki is Yashiro and Yashiro is Doumeki

Saezuru volume 8 has already been released and is selling like hot cakes for your luck and ours. I was able to find spoilers for one of the extras that come in this volume that shows Yashiro and Doumeki switching bodies.

Please observe how Yoneda manages to show us the personalities of these characters even when they are not in her own body. With my friends we commented that we had never seen Doumeki move so many muscles in his face and even less witness Yashiro sitting so politely in the traditional Japanese style hahaha I think this is because Doumeki practiced kendo for too long. I hope it will be available soon translated more precisely but for now we know that apart from touching his new scar and his missing finger, Yashiro having such a powerful body is challenging a defenseless Doumeki. This extra has made me very happy.

Thank you for reading and you know if something is poorly translated it's Google's fault.