#sadie writes discourse

[queen-beefcake-sqx]

you know, I’m about 30 hours in — almost to the end of Act 1 — and I think I’ve finally pinpointed what’s been really bothering me about Dragon Age: The Veilguard.

Light spoilers up to end(ish) of Act 1 below.

A little after I got Davrin and dealt with the Minathros vs. Treviso dilemma, I told my gf that this game was a fun RPG, but it didn’t feel like a Dragon Age game and I was having a hard time pinpointing what it was, because there are a lot of things I really love or understand about design-wise why certain choices were made.

The battle system is fun and dynamic, and I find myself switching my builds often when I’m stuck on a fight. The accessibility options have been great for my and my gf’s needs, including the difficulty scalers. I love the return to DA2 style maps except like, even better? The verticality is INSANE and the various environmental puzzles feel like the right amount of difficulty. I enjoy the characters and their interactions (mostly, more on that in a second).

And I understand the decision not to carry over EVERY SINGLE CHOICE since DA:O, and I actually think it’s smart to use a system that carries over specific choices — although I think they could have done more — and my gf even suggested the brilliant idea of a future DLC model that has you pick certain DLC-specific past choices that flesh out the impact of past choices as DLC. Which I think is a brilliant option for combating choice creep, because let me tell you — it becomes a LOT of writing and alternative dialogue lines for things that ultimately don’t have to have a direct impact on Rook, and I’d rather not have to feel the urge to set three games worth of choices every time I do a run.

And I can even handle either a little handwaving or just outright rewriting some past canon to make certain choices all wind up with a consistent outcome. I’m a Kingdom Hearts fan! I’m used to it!!! Whatever.

But it finally hit me what IS bugging me — DA:TV is the most sanitized, depoliticalized Dragon Age ever. It’s like Bioware read all the criticism of DA:I’s plot and the choice to make the Elvhen gods slavers over their own people and went, “Oh people didn’t like that, so we’ll stop doing that. We won’t mention the Antivan Crow’s history of training child slave soldiers, we’ll relegate the social discrimination toward the elves to a single Davrin line, children aren’t ripped from their parents under the Qun, and we’re going to show you all these ~*vaguely bad groups*~ without really giving any context of what makes them so truly awful. You’ll get the idea, because your groups are the good guys and the Big Damn Heroes.”

And I’m over here slamming my hands on the table shouting NO! It wasn’t that we didn’t want the politicized stuff! We wanted you to do it better! We wanted to feel conflicted working with the Antivan Crows, needing their network but despising their methods! We wanted to see the roots of an uprising in Minrathos lead by the escaped elves with Magisters like Dorian on the inside! We wanted false gods who could be slain to return the Elvhen parthenon, the gods the elves had always worshipped, but who had been prisoned and replaced — we wanted to find how much of Solas’s tales were truths versus lies! We wanted a goddamn nuanced look at the non-soldiers within the Qun, the ones who truly feel at peace knowing they have a purpose!!!

Not knowing what’s happening is an intentional choice, because if they spelled it out — set the conflicts within the larger geopolitical tensions that have brewed over three games — they’d have to acknowledge a long series of questionable narrative choices the games and supplemental material have made in the past. And from where I’m sitting, it looks like they chose to ignore and handwave 90% of it instead of actually wrestling with it and trying to bring some nuance to it. And that’s just disappointing.

[girlsexbattle2]

Best women characters?

[ventwren]

if the apocalypse comes . . . BEEP ME !

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ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ ABOUT ME !

wren , white eng-irish catholic ,

tme boygirl demisexual dyke

( they/(s)he ) . . . gnc butch !

severe anxiety + ocd + adhd

+ psychotic tendencies </3

+ likely cluster b/c disorder

taken by andy ♡

— 17.07.22

════════════════════════

ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ INTERESTS !

⋆ all for the game

⋆ buffy the vampire slayer

⋆ mary shelley’s frankenstein

⋆ red dead redemption

⋆ killing eve

⋆ overwatch

⋆ the raven cycle

⋆ amc’s iwtv

⋆ the vampire chronicles

⋆ naruto

⋆ rupaul’s drag race

⋆ monster high

⋆ doll collection

⋆ art, diy and writing

⋆ tarot (reading)

⋆ philosophy and theology

⋆ lycanthropy

⋆ zombie media + horror

════════════════════════

ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ KIN ! ════════════

🦊 neil josten . . . aftg ❀

🏹 buffy summers . . . btvs ❀

🧸 villanelle . . . killing eve ❀

🩸 daniel molloy . . . tvc ❀

🍑 lisa swallows . . . lf (2024)

🗝️ ginger fitzgerald . . . gs

📿 ronan lynch . . . trc

🐺 john marston . . . rdr(2)

🐊 sadie adler . . . rdr2

🧨 elizabeth ashe . . . ovw

🏯 beauregard lionett . . . cr

🦒 ellie williams . . . tlou

🐝 lottie matthews . . . yjs

��� van palmer . . . yjs

🛹 peter parker . . . tasm/ps4

🥃 leon kennedy . . . re (all)

🚲 bill denbrough . . . it (all)

🐎 maggie greene . . . twd

🔥 prince zuko . . . a:tla

🐾 stiles stilinski . . . teen wolf

💉 thomas . . . the maze runner

🥀 alistair theirin . . . da:o/i

🦆 tim drake . . . dc comics

🪙 richard papen . . . tsh

💥 vi & viktor. . . arcane (series)

🍂 keyleth . . . vox machina

🚬 nicky nichols . . . oitnb

+ more!

❀ = preferably no doubles if you

consider these characters a

big part of your identity! i don’t

think it’ll be comfortable for

either of us ♡

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ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ DNFI ! ═══════════

⋆ if you have an issue with the

word DYKE; i am one, and i

cannot and will not tag it.

⋆ i talk about my relationship

and pda my partner a lot, & i

love other couples! don’t

follow if youre uncomfortable

with that.

⋆ you ‘reclaim’ dyke & use lesbian

identity labels (namely butch)

as a nonlesbian, unless you

participate in or its in the

context of ballroom culture.

⋆ you engage in discourse around

lesbianism, ie. arguments

that butchfemme culture is

‘heteronormative’, mspec

lesbianism, anti he/him/

transmale lesbian rhetoric. i

feel very strongly towards

these subjects, lesbophobia

will be confronted and/or

blocked.

⋆ im very comfortable with non-

religious people/atheists, but

we will not get along if you

are loudly antitheist and can’t

respect (people of) faith. this

is not at all exclusive to my

own faith or catholicism &

christianity — intolerance of

any faith is unacceptable,

dangerous, and not as

progressive as many like to

believe; it hurts queer people

of marginalised faith more

than it helps others. i don’t

talk about my faith often, if i

do it’ll be more so about

sociopolitical/historical

issues and relations that

effect people, especially

fenians still today.

⋆ you disrespect addicts and the

difficulties of addiction &

you glorify substance abuse.

⋆ you carry ANY zionist ideals,

sentiment or sympathy, or

entertain any pinkwashing

towards the palestinian

genocide or hate for islam/

arab nations/people of non-

western culture or faith.

⋆ you carry or spread ANY terf

rhetoric, or don’t care to

rework your ideas and

terminology or consider trans

women in your conversations.

i love my trans sisters & hold

them close in community and

solidarity.

⋆ antiblackness, antisemitism &

any other forms of white

supremacy will obviously be

blocked and reported.

⋆ you openly dislike any of my

interests.

⋆ you’re openly anti spike/spuffy.

BOOO i don’t care to rehash

20 year old btvs discourse! i

promise you i have a totally

insanely nuanced view of the

show/franchise already.

i may sound pretty strongheaded

here but im generally really quite

a relaxed and approachable user!

i’m simply hard and fast about

my morals and don’t hope to

interact with those who oppose

them ♡

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ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ MINOR KIN ! ════════

( these are more for fun / expressions

of gender and personality quirks than

heavily personal like the above kins!

doubles are fine and this list isn’t an

essential read )

🔪 tatum riley . . . scream

🚪 chandler bing . . . friends

🖊️ annie edison . . . community

👗 madeleine . . . amc iwtv

🎋 genji shimada . . . overwatch

🖕🏻 tara chambler . . . twd

🪪 jill valentine . . . resident evil

🦋 jackie taylor . . . yjs

🗡️ undyne . . . undertale

🪓 susie . . . deltarune

📜 mary-beth gaskill . . . rdr2

💔 jean-pierre polnareff . . . jjba

🪭 temari . . . naruto

🀄️ shikamaru . . . naruto

🎴 kakashi . . . naruto

🌸 sakura . . . naruto

🎤 envy adams . . . spvtw

🌀 coraline . . . coraline (2006)

🐈 power . . . chainsaw man

⚔️ aki . . . chainsaw man

💼 leorio paradinight . . . hxh

🍯 christopher robin . . . wtp

🥩 joel hammond . . . scd

🩵 polly geist . . . monster prom

🍰 strawberry shortcake . . .

🍎 applejack . . . mlp

🌈 rainbowdash . . . mlp

☀️ sunset shimmer . . . mlp

ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ DEAD BY DAYLIGHT ! ════

🏕️ jake park

🗻 julie kostenko

🏍️ yui kimura

🐦‍⬛ camina mora / the artist

🐰 anna / the huntress

ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ MONSTER HIGH ! ═════

🌊 lagoona blue

🐅 toralei stripe

🎲 operetta

👜 scarah screams

🏰 lorna mcnessie

⚙️ robecca steam

👛 rochelle goyle

👓 jackson jekyll

ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ OTHER DOLLS ! ══════

🐒 meygan . . . bratz

🌶️ roxxi . . . bratz

🃏 lizzie hearts . . . eah

�� cerise hood . . . eah

ˏˋ°•જ⁀➷ COMFORT CHARACTERS ! ═

( i associate most of these with my partner, which

i’ll mark with a ‘❀’, or my best friend josh, which i’ll

mark with a ‘☽’ — i’ll probably struggle to view

others as them for that reason, i’m sorry! )

🔑 andrew minyard . . . aftg ❀

🥍 david wymack . . . aftg

⚰️ william/‘spike’ . . . btvs ❀

📚 rupert giles . . . btvs

💄 cordelia chase . . . btvs ☽

🪽 the vampire armand . . . tvc ❀

💍 the creature . . . lf (2024)

🔥 louis de pointe du lac . . . amc

⛪️ adam parrish . . . trc ❀

🕸️ amélie lacroix . . . ovw ❀

🦖 joel miller . . . the last of us

🍷 eve polastri . . . killing eve ❀

🌡️ konstantin . . . killing eve

🩹 eddie kaspbrak . . . it (all) ☽

🐓 galina ‘red’ reznikov . . . oitnb

🪻 brigitte fitzgerald . . . gs

📔 shauna shipman . . . yjs

⚒️ jayce talis . . . arcane ❀

🏒 sokol . . . payday ❀

☎️ claire redfield . . . re ❀

🪦 chris redfield . . . re ☽

════════════════════════

[argumate]

yes, there's not much point dwelling on people who have never liked you and never will, and rejection from those you thought of as allies obviously stings much more anyway, but gender transition has always been a discourse grenade for radical and pop feminism and that issue really hasn't been resolved, as this piece makes very clear!

so you're naturally going to see a bunch of people stumble over how to categorise things, like was Sady Doyle always a man and we (and he) just didn't realise it, or was Sady Doyle a woman while Jude Doyle is a man and these two characters have fundamentally different life experiences and perspectives on the world or -- and my personal favourite -- is life just a big stupid mess that we figure out as we live it? obviously this last perspective is the most accepting of individual experiences, but how is that supposed to feed into political activism and building ideological coalitions and rallying around imaginary conceptual archetypes??

and yes equating people who might be sympathetic to your plight with people who most definitely won't doesn't really do much to endear you to either group, but then that just raises questions of revealed preferences of how much you actually want people to like you vs. how much you want to achieve other goals in other ways; certainly there are easier career paths than "online feminist" (or in all honesty "blogger") if you like friends and dislike harassment.

I think this paragraph comes the closest to insight in the piece:

If “man” and “woman” are opposed and mutually exclusive categories, if men can only ever be predators and women can only ever be prey, then trans men can’t exist. We are logically impossible under the terms of the current system. You either “treat us like men” by voiding out half our lives, or you write us back into womanhood by denying our male identities.

it's almost like actual people are more complicated than male and female archetypes! but at the same time "misandry" doesn't exist, cis men occupy a privileged position and are never the object of sexism despite being thought of as predatory and violent etc. and feminism is defined as a coalition of cis women, trans women, and trans men; "if you are now or ever were a woman, you may be entitled to financial compensation" -- I mean that's reasonable, it's right there in the name, and yet.

if the essay was summarised as "wow, people really don't know how to slot a trans man's life experience into their ideological framework" then it would be absolutely 100% correct but it would also raise the obvious follow up question of exactly why is that?

I was a fan of the once feminist blogger Sady Doyle back in the day, now still feminist but it's complicated blogger Jude Doyle, so I wrangle their words with only the kindest of wishes and I know they are perpetually Going Through It, but I still think they're being curiously oblivious in most of this post about erasure etc.

even just the narrative arc of "I was a feminist because traditional gender roles made me uncomfortable", like yes it's good to dig into the emotional underpinnings of your beliefs, and it can be an important part of figuring out what it is you "really" believe or what beliefs you end up settling on or converging to, but obviously something making you uncomfortable is often a terrible foundation on which to build a lifetime of political advocacy! and I don't even need to spell out the issues with that.

and yes lots of people are mad at them, of course, people are always mad at them and always will be even if the stated reasons may shift and vary, so this isn't exactly news, as distressing as it can be to witness, and of course you can't really base your politics on "people get mad at me on the internet", especially when your job is basically to make people mad on the internet, when it comes right down to it.

brief appreciation for "I obliquely subtweeted my mother," as a beautiful sequence of words.

they are of course obliged to state that "misandry" doesn't exist, but that stereotypes of men as predatory, hulking, and violent do exist, and thankfully must not lead to any kind of prejudice or negative outcomes that could be considered problematic; it's a strange assertion but a compulsory one.

they find that the writings of most cis male feminists are useless, but fail to identify why, and take them at face value instead of considering why there might be a supply of and a demand for such nonsense.

and of course, they still write in the same manner as they always have: of deriving general assertions from their specific experiences, which is arguably all that any of us can ever do and yet when expressed directly in thinkpiece form is still an intensely gendered, female-coded, way to write; when your topics are the socially constructed notions of "men" and "women" then you have to be aware of this!

[eternityunicorn]

Alright, confession. I'm 'meh' when it comes to season 5 of The Originals BUT I loved - loved - him falling for Annette because I feel we get to see Elijah in love . . . the REAL Elijah in love . . . playful, fun, generous and considerate.

*happy swooning*

So we get inspiration for the softer Elijah for our Rachel and Eternity fluff.

I completely 💯 agree with you!

Season 5 of the Originals was a dumpster fire overall, but I loved amnesia!Elijah and his romance with Antoinette for those reasons you’ve listed. We did get to see a happier, more playful, more genuine Elijah, which was nice to see. It was great to see him living for himself, outside of the Mikaelsons.

I think that’s why I’ve written a few season 5/amnesia! Elijah Elinity stories and I always finding myself wanting to write more, despite having been there, done that…lol

[hummingxhallelujah]

I don’t write fanfic anymore, but I still avidly read, and am I watching this star wars/mando fic community discourse with a bowl of popcorn? holy shit of course I am

[heterophobicnico]

.

[florafaunaandeldritchhorrors]

if there’s one thing i can count on in the pjo fandom, it’s for character tags to be full of discourse or completely empty. someone tell the luke haters that shallow criticism belongs in an anti tag, and other people write me frank meta. 

[bellamysgriffin]

Now I’m curious about your ST thoughts!!!😭 but could you talk about your favorite parts of stranger things/your favorite characters? (If you don’t want to share the unpopular opinions ofc!)

omg of course i have No Fear of discourse, i'm always open to sharing unpopular opinions, i just couldn't be bothered to type up a whole post unprompted lmao but okay

starting with my fav parts of the show:

i will forever say s1 is the best season of the show and it really doesn't matter how good s5 is, because it won't top s1. from the bottom of my heart i think stranger things would have been a kickass miniseries and probably should have stopped after season 1 because i think it went from a good show to a fun show after that

that said there are always things i love from each season. in s2 i really adored hopper and el's story, in s3 i loved robin's inclusion, and in s4 i thought the max stuff was really great

i am also unashamedly a stancy truther and i literally dont care what y'all say i'm correct and it would actually make PERFECT sense for them to get back together now

hopper is forever my fav character and i think david harbour's performance in this show is truly incredible

then if we want to go to my um... controversial opinions. i'll just let them rip

i think all the kid actors except for sadie sink have gotten noticeably worse. although i would say gaten matarazzo is pretty much the same, and i want to say finn wolfhard hasn't gotten worse but maybe that's because he was so great in the it movies. in this, there's really no way to tell bc they don't give him anything to do lmao

i don't have any real investment in the mike/will/el love triangle but i will say if you rewatch the first season, it's pretty clear that mike really loved el and i think it's just because they feel so lackluster right now that people are convinced they won't end up together but like. i personally would not be getting my hopes up lmao

i also think fanon perception of the show has truly gotten so divorced from reality it's literally crazy. i can expand upon this but i don't want to piss people off THAT much lmao

i think stranger things has a huge problem with consistent characterization and there's always one character you see that with most pronounced from season to season. in s2 it was joyce who straightened her hair and put on eyeshadow and became an entirely different kind of parent because of that i guess. s3 it was hopper who became an oafish comedic device. and in s4 i hate to say it and you guys will be mad, but robin. that is a different fucking character than season 3!!! in s3 she was like. the cool girl/savvy loner, kind of snarky, relatively sarcastic and like ridiculously smart. in s4 she's just like gangly and awkward and talks a mild a minute and claims to have no understanding of social cues. what???? i mean, i like the nerdy lesbian as much as the cool lesbian but that's just blatantly not what she was and i think it's really disappointing that they took this character that was aloof and witty and very socially savvy and made her a nerd because that's how writing lesbians made more sense in their brain i guess i don't know

and for the real kicker..... i think eleven should have died in s4. i'm actually so fucking bored that she didn't. and that's not because i hate her character but because she has effectively turned into a deus ex machina and i am tired of every season ending with millie bobby brown sticking her hand out and screaming until the monster dies. i was SO BORED during the last half of that battle. and look, they had their chance to get rid of that deus ex machina without killing her when they took her powers away, but they obviously didn't know how to write without that convenient plot device in their back pocket so they immediately gave her powers back to her. stupid! killing 11 would have genuinely been the most interesting thing to do going into s5 because then our main cast would be confronted with how to stop the monster without their resident superhero, and that's a difficult thing to write which is obviously why the stranger things writers didn't want to do it lmao. so yea. i'm team kill eleven before the finale so i don't have to sit through another hour of telekinetic lazy writing

[blaithnne]

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Heydie I’m Sadie!

I use they/them pronouns and I post art and some writing sometimes!

More info under the cut - includes other socials, tagging system, requests/trades/commissions status, and a master post about Lauren for any confused newcomers :]

Oh - and my username is pronounced Blan-yuh <3

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My previous usernames were A-SMALL-COLLECTION-OF-NONSENSE and CACTINCACTOUT

I use this account mainly to post my art and headcanons, but a large part of my presence on here is purely shitposting jdbdjdbs

My main fandoms at the moment are Hilda, The Owl House, and Ducktales, but I am a multifandom blog so I dabble in whatever lol

You can find more of my stuff on Instagram, and Twitter! I have some other socials but I’m not really active on there

Please credit me if you repost my art

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My Ask Box is currently OPEN - I might not answer your ask immediately - it’ll prooobably me a few days or weeks to get around to it, but I generally try to answer all my asks eventually! I’m just very slow

ANONS are ON

REQUESTS are CLOSED [x]

ART TRADES are CLOSED

COMMISIONS are CLOSED

Please do not ask for any of the above marked “CLOSED”

I get these questions quite a lot so if I come off abrupt/rude when responding if you do ask, please know it is not personal!

I’m alright with people sending in suggestions for scenarios or character combinations, just about anything really! As long as you aren’t specifically requesting a drawing. I might respond to with a doodle, but I also might just write out some headcanons

Feel free to send in asks about whatever you like - questions about my OCs, AUs, or anything!

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If you frequent my blog you may have heard of my OC Lauren! I post about her a lot, so if you’d like to know more about her, please check out This Masterpost, containing all the information about her available on my blog, organised for ease of navigation :))

EDIT - This post is now outdated! I’m working on an updated version, but it’s gonna take a while sooo patience pls lol! It still has a lot of context info tho!

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Here’s a lil guide for my tagging system -

MY ART - Self explanatory, there was a phase where tumblr banned the word ‘my’ so you might find some stuff tagged under ‘OUR ART’ lmao

MY WRITING - ^^

SADIE SHITPOSTING - I mainly use this one for any funny/shitposty text posts

SADIE THINKIN - for my rambly text posts, it was ‘SADIE’S THOUGHTS’ for a while

TEXT POST - Used for any posts that don’t contain images or videos - any post that’s just text. I started using this as of 7/7/21 so anything before then won’t be tagged with this

IMPORTANT - Can range from announcements to reblogs of petitions or donations, or just stuff I want to remember, may also be used for discourse posts

SERIOUS POST - Anything discourse or “drama” related

ANON HATE - Relatively self explanatory, however don’t worry if you see this! Just because I’ve tagged something this way doesn’t mean I have been effected by it, I just want to ensure that people can filter these posts out should they want to :)

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Enjoy your time here lads lmao <33

[buckybarnesss]

now i remember why i avoid the pjo fandom. there’s annabeth is an abuser discourse. 

there’s criticizing her character and how rick wrote it and saying she’s toxic and abusive because she was fourteen year old girl jealous of another teenage girl who was a romantic rival and that maybe as teenager she isn’t the best at understanding what she’s feeling or why. 

i don’t know about y’all but i was not a saint as a child or teenager. i was abrasive, bitchy, rude and reactionary and made bad, impulsive decisions sometimes. 

like, it just feels there’s this reactionary thing where oh no this character punched a friend in the arm unforgivable and they need to be sent to the fields of punishment for a thousand years when it’s just not. 

and this just doesn’t apply to annabeth but all the characters. there’s things to criticize defintely. rick’s writing isn’t perfect by a long shot (do not get me started on sadie carter’s romance plot). but it seems like people want flawless characters when it’s their missteps and fuck ups that make them more interesting.

[gsmf-symposium]

Schedule for Gender and Subversive Morality in Fanwork and Folklore, 1300-2022

We have a schedule for Saturday’s symposium!

Specific location on the University of Glasgow Campus and Zoom URL will be provided for registrants.

Register for Gender and Subversive Morality in Fanwork and Folklore, 1300-2022 here.

Times provided are all in GMT

9am-10am Coffee & Registration

9:30am Zoom Call Begins

9:45am

Welcome from the organizers

Morning Session 10am-12pm Presentations, 10-11am (15 minutes each)

Dot Porter, "Books of Hours as Transformative Works: The Clothilde Missal as an example"

Sadie, "Botany and Botanising, Canon and Fanon: Credibility and Exclusion in Participatory Cultures"

MacKenzie Cockerill, "“Respect the Lore:” The Lord of the Rings, Canon in Tolkien, and Queer Digital Fandom"

Keri Thomas, "Sentient Sex Mist, or How Do You Solve A Problem Like the Patriarchy?"

Conversation, 11am-12pm

12-1:30 lunch

Afternoon Session 1:30-3:30pm Presentations, 1:30-2:30pm (15 minutes each)

Leo, "For the children: public discourses and performative moralities in online fandom spaces"

Nick, "Writing the Weird Stuff: Fandom as a Site for Queer and Kinky Erotica"

BriaeVeridian, "The Complexity of Gender Shifts in Fanworks"

Dawn, "The Tom and Jerry Effect: AKA Why I Like My Bad Boys"

Conversation, 2:30-3:30pm

Coffee break, 3:30-4:00

Planning for Sunday's writing group 4:00-4:30pm 

***

Register for Gender and Subversive Morality in Fanwork and Folklore, 1300-2022 here.

[whumper-boi]

So good news, I finally finished with writing out the first prompt of the whump advant calender

OH MY FUCKING GOD I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY TAKE IT OUT OF DRAFTS AND POST IT SO ITS A DAY LATE LMAOO SORRY GUYS

(Note that they are ocs to my book I’m writing so don’t worry about spoiling or anything)

@whump-advent-calendar thank you, and this is for the first prompts

Y’all this was much longer then I thought it would be but oh well. Also, I was really out of it when I started this so forgive me cause it isn’t my best work.

Also sorry about the awkward spacing, was no one going to tell me there was a limit to the amount of spaces you could do?

**Blue- Martin’s texts

TW for mentions of non-con, mentions of child abuse, panic attacks, self deprecating thoughts, nearly freezing to death, hypothermia, paranoia, cursing, anxiety, mild(?) dissociation (like it’s written that it happened but he doesn’t remember it (obviously)), ptsd

This hadn’t happened since the thunderstorm incident. However, unlike that where he had been purposely locked outside in the middle of a fucking thunderstorm, he had come home early from a sleepover, and no one else was home.

Martin shivered, pulling his skully over the tips of his ears. After he realized that he lost his house key somewhere, he tried to call his father, but to no avail, as he was most likely still on a plane.

Majesty, his service dog who accompanied him on the walk home, nudged him gently on the leg. He sensed his distress, circling around him before standing at his side again.

Backtracking a little, Martin had gone over to one of his best friend Sadie’s house, with intentions to spend the night, but her having a surprise doctors appointment had made him decide to walk home with Majesty, (even in the blistering cold, he didn’t want to bother his friend’s parents) and lose his key somewhere in the process.

This wouldn’t be a problem if the spare was still there, but it wasn’t? He wondered if someone else brought it in and forgot to put it back.

His father, Oliver, and his father’s best friend, Nick, were both on a business trip and wouldn’t be back until the day after tomorrow.

He didn’t know what to call Nick, as he saw the man like another parent, but he couldn’t handle the idea of putting his trust into another adult only to be majorly fucked over again. He had been around since before Martin was born, this was true, but Molly, his mother, had also been around since he was born, and she chose his rapist over him.

So yeah, he was a little scared of letting his guard down, even if he knew Nick would never hurt him. Oliver had even made sure of this

(The two men had been telling stories about before Martin and Tristan were younger, and even before they were born.

“If we’re really reminiscing on your births, I’ll never forget when Oliver held you for the first time Mars. Mostly because your father had threatened to terminate our business partnership and friendship, and I quote, ‘cut your prick off and make you eat it’ if I ever put a hand on you.”

“I still stand by it mate,” Oliver said, cuffing Nick on the shoulder.)

And his father wasn’t really one to go back on promises, especially with Martin.

The only other person who had access to the house would be Tristan, Nick’s son and someone who was like a brother to him, but, of course, he wasn’t home, and the bitch wouldn’t answer his phone. That wasn’t a surprise though, he was probably at a house party getting slammed.

Majesty let out a small huff, nudging him in the leg again, telling him that he was going out of it again. He pet him, checking his pockets one more time before giving up.

Great, fucking brilliant. He plopped down on the stone steps leading to the front door, which were freezing, and pulled out his phone, checking for messages. None.

A gust of wind blew, making him put his phone away and curl up to try and get some feeling back into his numbing fingers and toes. It really had to be this cold on the day he decided to not wear his leather jacket.

The only thing he had to protect him from the elements was the MCR T-shirt over a black longsleeve, cargo pants that had like, seven pockets on them, Doc Marten (ha), the skully, of couse, and his headphones. Also, a ton of metal jewlrey, basically he looked like the first picture you would find if you googled “Goth looks”.

Majesty sat next to him, and he leaned into the dog, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing.

Seeing as he couldn’t do anything other than wait, he tried to get his mind off of it, by thinking about the boarding school he would be going back to in a few weeks.

The boarding school in question, was an academy for advanced people with different skills and abilities, and it wasn’t something that was easy to get into. He had gotten a scholarship for the academic part of the school, which was apparently, a very hard thing to do. They only chose the smartest of the smart, who were all adults, except for him of course.

Maybe because he had an IQ of 216, higher than everyone at the school. That seemed to raise a lot of discourse with some people who couldn’t handle the fact that a 16 year old was smarter than them.

Interestingly enough, Martin couldn’t bring himself to actually give a fuck when it came down to it, because he had the scholarship, not them.

The only person who was even close to his age was a boy named Matthew, from America. Detroit, more specifically. The two had been roommates, Matthew was in because apparently, he was a fucking amazing dancer that was scholarship worthy.

Martin hadn’t seen it, but if he got into that school it was probably mind blowing, and he would never question his ability.

Matthew had been respectful, and pretty, and he had the audacity to make Martin fall for his southern accent and obnoxiously kind words that he didn’t feel like he deserved.

He even asked him at one point.

“Well you’re a genius M, so it’s going to be lightwork for you,” Matthew said, after Martin had joked about wanting to crack the Zodiac ciphers.

“Nah, I’ll just stick to arguing with teachers and wasting away decoding video games.”

The other boy hummed. “Well, whatever you choose to do, you’re going to do good.” He put his fingers in a ‘ok’ pose, and gave a playful smirk that made him look like a meme, and then he looked up at Martin.

He couldn’t exactly tell what emotion was being portrayed on his own face at the moment, but it made Matthew’s smile drop, and he looked at him with nothing but concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, there something on my face?” he half joked, feeling it fall flat as soon as it came out of his mouth. He tried to neutralize his expression, but this only made things look worse.”

“Martin…” he hesitated. “Was it something I said?”

Yes, yes it was. He opened his mouth, then closed it, growing warm and horrifyingly, feeling tears start to well up. He had, by no means been insulted with what he said. The support and friendliness was what got to him.

The whole thing was, he had support from other people, but this felt… different. Martin felt like the people around him felt obligated to do it. Even so, he had only known Matthew for such a short time, but the american he only proved that he cared.

Maybe this was the insecurity in his brain talking, or maybe the things Seth said and did to him were finally starting to take a toll on him. He just had to know why he cared so much. Well, when in Rome right?

“Why are you so nice to me?” He asked, crossing his arms, a nervous tic that he had developed.

Matthew didn’t even look like he registered the question. “I’m...not?” What? If that wasn’t being nice then what was it?

As if the other boy could hear his question, he added: “I’m just treating you with basic decency? Like, anyone with an ounce of empathy should do.” Martin stared at him.

But holding the door? Not once telling him to shut up at his long rants? Waiting for him at the top of the stairs when he made it up first? His friends did the same, and so did his family, but they had known each other for a while, and…but Seth did it, only when he was in a good mood, only when he was feeling nice, and he just naturally assumed this was what everyone was doing. Conditionally. They were doing it because they cared?

This was hurting his head. Multiple thoughts littered his head and he couldn’t sort them out fast enough to process a coherent sentence. His logical side just straight up vanished.

Matthew walked up to him, cautiously sticking his arm out and gently grabbing Martin’s shoulder.

His head suddenly blanked, whatever he had been thinking about just stopped at the contact. “Well,” Martin laughed awkwardly, “I guess you learn something new everyday.”

The other boy gave a smile, and he thought he could spare them both the mental breakdown he would inevitably have, then the arse had to say: “You’re deserving of respect darlin’, unconditionally.”

And wonderfully, he started to cry. The more correct term would be more like, loudly sobbing, but save himself a little bit of dignity. Matthew had once again proved how amazing he was, holding him.

A loud noise sounded from somewhere, knocking him out of the memory. He felt a smile on his face though, thinking about the American. His boyfriend, seeing as two hours after he shared his entire life story, they made out on their dorm floor.

He stopped smiling when he felt his lips crack in the cold weather. Licking them didn’t help, they dried back up seconds later.

Martin stood up, shivering at the lack of movement. He tried the door again, and when that didn’t work, he called Majesty and walked to the backside of the house. It was locked. Well, it was good that they were responsible with locking doors.

He then tried the windows, but remembered that he closed them because of his hate of the cold, and locked them because of his paranoia. He thought about breaking a window, but came to the conclusion that a locksmith was most likely better.

He picked up his phone, then stopped, thinking about it. If someone he didn’t know could pick their way into the house, what’s stopping someone with a grudge doing the exact same thing?

They had cameras and an alarm system, but a short circuit somewhere around the house could disable them, or if a computer tech tapped into them…

Martin felt a weight in his chest. If a locksmith was successfully able to get the door open, then anyone could be able to get the door open, and anyone included Seth and his friends. If they ever decided they wanted to get back at him, they could get in easily.

He didn’t realize that he dropped his phone, and barely noticed when he stepped on it, looking around. Martin scanned the streets, starting to worry that Seth would have this idea, and show up.

He suddenly couldn’t breathe, now frantically looking for his stepfather’s car. He would kill Martin if he saw him, he’d hurt him and kill him.

He was tied to that bed, hands touching all over him. He didn’t want it, he begged for it to be over.

The hands were on him again. Martin swore he could feel them dragging against his skin, and he physically recoiled, tripping and falling into the grass.

He didn’t want to be back there, not again.

“Please, stop!”

“No!” He screamed at nothing, covering his head with his arms. Martin felt a sob build up, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Seth was going to find him, and even if Martin went back into the house, he’d find a way in, or break the door. He couldn't stop him, and no one would know what happened.

Martin felt something on his face, warm and wet in contrast to the cold. Then he felt something push against his chest, something that was warm. He instinctively reached out, wrapping his arms around whatever it was, shivering and still struggling to breathe.

He needed to look at the street again, see if he was coming, but the same wet feeling was on his face again.

After a couple minutes, he opened his eyes, the tears freezing against his face. He realized that it was Majesty who he was holding in his arms, and he realized that he was licking Martin’s face, just doing his job.

He pulled the Doberman closer, taking a few seconds before sitting up. Majesty instantly got up after he did, nudging his arm gently, waiting for Martin to move off the frozen grass. They both made it back to the door eventually, Martin working on clearing his mind by asking himself if it was the panic attack or the cold that was making him super tired.

He looked for his phone, stressing out until Majesty quickly trotted over and dropped it at his feet. He ignored the little bits of drool, seeing three texts and a missed call from Tristan.

Trishyfishy👀👄👀

December 14, 7:56 PM

Yo, what the fuck do you want

Jkjk, everything alright

Call me Mars.

Martin went to the contact and called, realizing he could hardly feel his hands. “Hello?” His voice trembled slightly, either from the crying or the cold, he wasn’t sure.

“Alright Martin?”

He chuckled hollowly. “Ah, I got locked out of the house.”

“Are you alright? You sound like you’re crying.”

“I got locked out of the fucking house Tristan. It’s like, -2 degrees out here.” There was a beat of silence.

“I’m on the way back, so uh, just… hang in there?” He rolled his eyes, petting Majesty. “I’m like, fifteen minutes away.”

He heard Tristan laugh at something he didn’t hear through the phone. “Where did you even go?”

“To a party, (figures) but some 9th year threw up in the punch bowl and two kids got in a fight over some stupid bet. It got boing. What about you? I thought you were with Sadie.”

“I was, but she had an appointment and I didn’t want to go so I just walked home instead, she lives like, half an hour away, so I didn’t, like, you know.” Majesty put his head on his lap, letting Martin stim by petting, effectively keeping him calm and awake.

Tristan hummed over the phone, but didn’t say anything. His phone buzzed in his hand, and he looked down, seeing that Matthew was texting him.

“I’ll call you back Trish.” He waited for a response, then hung up.

American.

December 14, 8:24 PM

I just saw a this lady with a really big yellow

snake around her neck and it made me think

of you

Which part?

The snake or the lady?

Both

Anyway

What are you doing?

Sitting on my front doorstep.

Why

Tat sounds boring

That**

lost my key.

I believe I left it at Sadie’s, but I can’t remember.

Oh f

So you can’t get in?

How long have you been out there

No one else will let you in?

Actually just hold on

Martin looked at his phone confusedly for a moment, before he was suddenly receiving a call from the other.

“Ok, go on,” Matthew said from the other side when he pushed the accept button.

“Er… I lost my key, and no one else is home.” His teeth chattered as he spoke.

“That sucks man, I’m sorry. My mom says hi by the way, and asked if you tried the window or a back door.”

He nodded, then realized that Matthew coudn’t see him. “Oh, yeah uh, the back door was locked, and the windows, I locked them before I left. Preventable measure you know?” He said, laughing a shrill, awkward laugh.

“Right. Don’t want any cold air getting in.” Matthew coughed, then went on. “Uh, is someone like, coming to let you in?”

“Yeah, Tristan is coming, he’s gonna be home soon. Also, hello.”

“What?”

“You said that your mum said hi, so i’m responding to that.” He put his head on Majesty’s for a moment, exhaling. When he picked it up again, he saw that he accidentally clicked on the facetime button.

It was at least nice to see his face.

“Sis, you’re red.” Matthew said, looking at the camera.

Martin cocked his head to the side, then cursed as he dropped his phone. “Why thank you for the relay of information,” he snarked, but it was the first time he had looked at himself since he was with Sadie. That was what, an hour and a half ago? Two?

His eyes looked sunken in, skin pale except for the exessive spots of red on his cheeks, ears, and his eyes, but that was different, because he had been crying. Still. He wasn’t able to tell with his lips, mostly because the black lipstick he normally wore was still clinging to his lips. It was truly a look.

“Are you alright?” Martin gave him a look that signified that he was anything but. “Right, right, force of habit, sorry darlin’… Random question, why would you go out in that cold of weather, especially cause you’re crippled?”

Ah, he was wondering if that question would come up. “Well, it was around six degrees when I left, I didn’t expect the temperature to drop so suddenly.”

Matthew gave him a perturbed look. “Six? That’s freezing?!”

“Well, yeah? But it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t even freezing temperatures.” The other boy’s face didn’t change. It really wasn’t awful, but… oh wait. “Six degrees celsius Matthew, not fahrenheit. It would be about…” He thought about it for a minute, trying to ignore the sudden gust of wind. “Fourty… fouty-four degrees fahrenheit, I believe?”

“Oh, right, right, yeah. You know, y’all shame Americans for using fahrenheit, but it actually aduquateds for humans, not water. So.”

Well he was right about that, he was pretty sure. He couldn’t remember at the moment. “Hm.” He shut his eyes for a moment, trying to remove the heavy feeling from his eyelids.

“Woah hey, aren’t you not supposed to sleep? You might not wake up.”

“I wasn’t going to sleep. My eyes hurt.” He moved a trembling hand on top of Majesty’s head, once again back to petting. He blanked out for a moment, but he came back to Matthew talking, or yelling, through the phone.

“Darlin’- you need to wake up!” He looked at the phone, blinking eratically. He fell asleep? “Oh thank god,” he heard Matthew mutter through the phone. He looked up, realizing Majesty was walking around him, trying to wake him up too through nudges and pawing him. “You should probably stand up so you don’t fall asleep again.”

“Right.” He used Majesty as a balance to get to his feet, stepping around a couple times to try and get feeling back into his leg. Where the fuck was Tristan? He walked up and down the steps a few times, seeing that the tips of his fingers were going from a paper white to a more blue colour. He brought them to his face and wiped, feeling the skin that was marked with tears start to rip painfully.

Still shivering, he brought his phone up, asking Matthew something.

“Oh, yeah, it’s basically when-”

“What did I ask you?” He asked, looking at the phone.

The other boy looked at him, an indeterminable look in his eyes. “Uh, you asked about what happens-” The phone went black. He tried turnng it on again, to no avail, when he realized it died. His head was spinning, and he tried turing it on again, and again, until Majesty nudged him, and he had to stop tears from coming again.

He sat next to the door, the service dog standing next to him. He blinked harshly, feeling something burn in his chest again.

Majestly circled him again, going back to standing in the same spot. He rubbed him a couple times, but then had to rub his eyes.

“-rtin a dumbass yeah but he’ll be fine.” He woke up, feeling like he was being poked by a bunch of sewing needles. He blinked slowly, trying to sit up when he felt the blanket fall off.

Blanket? Martin moved his hand around, looking for Majesty. A coat of fur under his hand made him exhale in relief.

“Christ, Martin, you gave everyone here a fucking heart attack, you actually back with us this time?”

He muttered something, but it came out sounding weird, so he repeated it, with better results. “Can you give me a chance to see who everyone is before you start screaming.” He used Majesty to help him up, who jumped on the couch next to him to help him actually stay up.

Standing in front of him was Tristan, and two other guys that Martin recognized from school. David and Aaron, he’s pretty sure it was.

Doing a quick glance around, he noticed that A) His clothes had been changed. He was wearing a black sweater and sweat pants, B) He was in fact warm, seeing as there was a heater pointed at his direction, and C) his phone was no where to be found. He wondered how many hours he had been asleep.

Tristan opened his mouth to say something, but Martin interupted him. “Who changed my clothes?” This seemed to stop whatever the other boy was going to say.

“You did?”

Martin gave him an incredious look. “I feel like I would remember that.”

“Clearly not. What’s today Martin?”

He tried to remember the last conversation he had with someone over text. It was with… Matthew, who he really needed to call back, he realized. “Er… Wednesday, December 14?”

“It’s a few hours until friday. You’ve been asleep or on autopilot for like, the last 24 hours.” Oh. That didn’t feel right. That was even worse, actually. “Also, Dad and Oliver are on their way back. They were gonna come back before, but you were awake and like, warming up so I told them not to.”

Yeah, cool, whatever, he was still confused about the autopilot thing. “How often do I do that?”

Tristan raised a confused eyebrow, then said, “Oh, not that often, just right after like, messed up stuff happens. You kinda just, go through the mechanics of something.”

“When else have I done it?”

He pursed his lips. “Er, I’ll tell you later.” So he’d done it after what happened with Seth. He wouldn’t have figured it out at the moment if it weren’t for the thing his brother did with his mouth whenever his Mother’s husband was brought up.

“Right, ok.” He got up from the couch, noting as Tristan said something to his friends and waved as they quickly left. “Where’s my phone?”

“It’s where you left it.” He saw Martin’s face and added, “It’s on your bed.” Ah. He went to go walk to the stairs, but staggered on the second step. Majesty was already by hi side, so he leaned on him. “I can go get it Mars, or you can have Majesty get it, but Oliver said, and I quote ‘Your impulsevness and boyfriend can wait two seconds. Sit down Martin.’”

He sat back on the couch and sighed. “Phone, Majesty.” The dog perked up and ran up the stairs, coming back and dropping it on his lap. “Good boy,” he cooed, petting the top of his head.

Martin unlocked it (wincing at the date), partially watching as Tristan got up and walked out the room. He went to his last texts, and saw some that weren’t his. He assumed it was his brother who texted him, just saying that he was alive, and in the house.

You

December 15, 9:07 PM

Hey.

Is this a bad time?

Depends on who I’m talkin to

I hope I’m on the good spectrum then.

Darlin?

Your one and only.

I meant to put ‘the’ but ‘your’ works too.

I’m so glad you’re alright

Like, I thought I fucking lost you

You can’t kill me all that easily.

Right.

Well.

I’m actually in public rn and I can’t call and I’m sure there are some people you need to talk to

Yeah.

Sorry :(

Give me one hour and then i’m all yours

Take your time Love.

I sure have a lot of it.

I’m currenty on bedrest, so…

Aw :(

I won’t take up much more of your time then.

Call me when you can?

I miss you.

Of course darlin

And i miss you too

Martin closed out of the messenger app, only to get a little black heart sent to him. He loved that motherfucker.

He didn’t even bother texting his dad to see if the man was busy or not. He knew that if he did that it would be an immediate phone call, so, there wasn’t really a point.

He wouldn’t consider his father pushy or too suffocating. Martin loved and attention and praise he got from his father. His only concern was that Oliver would do some stupid shit (like father, like son) and burn himself out trying to care for everyone else.

He went to the contact and pushed the call button. It rang twice before both of his parents’ (fathers’?) asked about a million questions, all being variations of ‘What happened?’ and ‘Are you ok?’ and ‘We’re nearly home.’

“Yes, concerned adults, I’m perfectly fine. I just left my key at Sadie’s, I think. I should probably call and ask her-”

Tristan handed him a mug filled with overly sweetened hot tea, the only way he would drink it. “Don’t worry about it, her parents brought it back, along with like, a million other things because they felt so bad.”

Martin put it on speaker, just so they’d know who Martin was suddenly talking to. “I insisted on walking home, so it’s really my fault.” He took a sip of the tea when he heard the voices from the other end disprove this statement. “Also, define “a million.”

His brother shrugged. “I hope you like chocolate and tiny doll eyes.” He couldn’t help but feel like shit about it. He insisted he walk home, and he forgot his key, so he didn’t know why they blamed themselves so much. It was really on himself.

“I can hear your thinking Martin. You can’t blame yourself for this.” A door closed on the other side of the phone.

“I very well can, and I very well will.” Tristan sighed, but didn’t say much else about it. “Anyway.”

Over the phone, Nick asked: “Did you try calling a locksmith?” Martin felt his chest tighten up at the question. Majesty was immedietly at his side, putting his head on his lap. The other boy took notice and took the mug from his grip, and grabbed his hand.

He was going to say somehing, but jumped when the front door was unlocked and opened. Tristan hung up the phone, squeezing his hand at the same time.

Oliver and Nick walked in, not even bothering to hide their relief, until they noticed the condition that the other three were in, relief turning into concern.

“Hey baby,” Oliver said, coming and putting a hand on Martin’s shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

Martin exhaled, feeling better that his father was back with him. “Uh,” he laughed awkwardly, another shrill laugh. He opened his mouth, then closed it, not being able to pinpoint a good response, so he just shrugged and crossed his arms.

Tristan let go of his hand pretty quickly, instead going over to talk to his dad. Oliver put himself where Tristan was, giving his son an indetrminable smile.

He held out his arms, a silent invitation for a familiar embrace. Martin crawled over, filling the space and resting his head on the crease of his father’s neck. He felt a hand soothingly run up and down his back, reassurances being whispered in his ear.

“So you wanna rely on how you nearly died again..?” Well he won’t pass on having good attention on him.

Oliver whispered, “We can talk later baby.” To which he nodded, breaking away from the much needed hug.

Later, when he got some time alone, where Nick was cooking and the other two were in the parlor, he was upstairs, going back to the familiar contact.

You

December 15, 10:43 PM

Attachment: One image

:)

👁👁?

It’s in german

I’m fully aware.

Well I can’t google translate cause it’s a picture

Once again, I am fully aware love :).

😾😾

Rude

I will be having someone translate that later so don’t act all smug

I wouldn’t dream of it.

Hm. Call me

Alright.

“Hey darlin’,” the voice said over the phone.

[safflowerseason]

I am loving all the oc discourse on your blog. I would love to get your takes on s2 & s3 because of the character evolutions, especially Marissa. Like when most ppl bring up problems with her character, it's really speaking to her s1 self. She legitimately matures over s2 and Mischa gives a pretty great performance during the whole attempted rape arc. S3 is flawed for nearly every character, and I fucking hate Johnny but submerged in that is an interesting arc about trauma

Hahah, thanks Anon! My blog is about 80% Veep, 5% The OC, 5% The West Wing, and the remaining 10% is random takes on whatever I’m watching or reading at the moment. I had no idea there was still an active OC fandom, or that there was so much debate around Marissa’s character. I mean, I was aware that Marissa wasn’t anyone’s favorite character, partly due to Mischa Barton’s performance and partly due to the writing for Marissa. When I first watched the OC (um, a long time ago), I was much more a fan of Seth and Summer’s relationship. But on this rewatch, I was very drawn to Ryan and Marissa’s magnetic damaged star-crossed lovers vibe, and I felt a lot more sympathy for Marissa than I did when I was [redacted] years old. 

I’m much less of an authority on S2 and S3 than I am with S1, sadly. I own S1, and have watched it many times, but I’ve only seen S2 a handful of times and S3 only once, years ago, which I remember watching in some kind of furious haze of disbelief (Sadie?!?! COME ON. At least Theresa is a sort of vaguely compelling figure in Ryan’s life). And Hulu just got rid of The OC, so I can’t do a rewatch. Hulu! Now is not the time.

Anyway, I think you can make the argument that Marissa matures a lot of over S1 as well S2. Her decision to welcome Theresa in the back half of S1 comes from her genuine desire to support Ryan, whether or not she’s his girlfriend (I mean obviously she’s a little selfishly motivated, but by all accounts it’s very generous behavior). For S2 and S3, another Anon sent in a comment a few weeks that I think was incredibly spot-on, and corresponds with your point about trauma: “the show didn't have the nerve to even say the words attempted rape, therefore couldn't address marissa's legitimate trauma and all of it got depicted instead as moping angst over Johnny.” (credit to whoever this brilliant Anon was). I think this is the primary lens through which you have to view all the nonsense of S3. The attempted rape and Marissa’s shooting of Trey were really nothing but dramatic plot devices...the writers were never prepared to really make space for Marissa to process the magnitude of what she went through, or even to frame Trey’s attack as equally serious as Marissa’s actions to protect Ryan. I mean, the show literally hand-waves Trey away once he’s served his purpose...he never faces real legal consequences for his actions the way the Marissa does. The focus is all on Ryan’s angst and the “scandal” the shooting caused. So in some ways, I think Marissa is really a victim of the early 00′s and the reality that female trauma just wasn’t considered as important as the male experience--either in The OC writer’s room or the world at large. 

[literateleah]

hi! saw you reblog so B) mauve: any unpopular opinions?

ooh yes! thanks so much for the ask, alright:

- as a mixed girl (black + white) all of the discourse on sadie kane’s mixed girl rep from white rr fans is exhausting. i do see issues with the canon and the official art (absolutely) but sadie’s lightness is inherently necessary to understand the effects of colorism on her and carter’s lives. i COMPLETELY understand wanting diverse mixed representation and i have lived that struggle my whole life but for sadie to be brown would eliminate the nuance of her colorist grandparents and interactions projected onto her while with carter

- i...didn’t hate toa as much as half of this fandom seems to :] i thought apollo’s progression as a character was beautiful to watch and we got to see/meet a lot of new characters to continue and finish the CHB chronicles. i agree that it is flawed like any other writing rr puts out but honestly i was a fan

- hazel is one of the most disrespected and undervalued characters both in canon and fanon and it speaks volumes to y’alls treatment of Black girls. VOLUMES. unless frazel is being discussed she is so neglected and i’ve seen it happen for 7 years gosh

[milesandmorales]

I’ve fallen so far down the rabbit hole... All I’ve done is read John Marston x Arthur Morgan. So, here is a rec of some of my favorites, I hope you enjoy them too. Also what is their ship name? There needs to be a tag. Is there a discourse? Help guys.

American Outlaws by  manic_intent

“Bounty’s for one ‘Jim Milton’,” Sadie said, as she got close to the man under the oak tree. “Wanted for murder, robbery, and unnatural acts.”

“Unnatural what?”

“Don’t got details on here.” Sadie passed the folded up poster to her hunting partner. “You all right?”

Arthur Morgan didn’t answer her as he smoothed open the poster. He was aggressively smoking a cigarette, his second, judging from the stub on the grass.

Plot, some lovely plot. Boys being dumb boys. Sadie is such a boss, and definitely is in this fic. Occurs after game ending - spoilers. Complete.

Peonies by  gwennolmarie

"His heart thumps hard and he follows orders for once, heads for his tiny tent and slips inside. Strips his coat and holsters then lays down in his day-clothes. Flips to the page with that drawing.

Confirms his wildest dream.

Soulmate tattoo AU. Sweet with that familiar teenage angst at the same time. The writing is so nice, smooth and simple like a nice drink. Not complete.

Money, Morals and Mint by  SounHealth

The job comes to the office. Says a ‘John Marston’ is a wanted man -- and Arthur finds that to be true, in ways it shouldn’t be.

Holy hell. Alternative universe - they met and are two fools. Enough plot to be intriguing. Arthur slowly discovering more about John, who is something wild, is what really holds me there. Well written, great deal of imagery. Any interaction written between the two is so good. I also love the mysterious vibe John has going on. Not complete.

Samaritan by  fallen_arazil

Arthur Morgan followed his own advice and left the gang when he had a child (the canonical Eliza and Isaac), taking up as a bounty hunter. Along the way he picked up a young John Marston, who thus never runs with Dutch.

Alternative universe/canon divergence. I love the “au” they’ve set up. Really great idea - very well executed so far. The subtleties of John and Arthur’s relationship being mentioned - in a slow burn - but also realistic way. Dutch is not a good man in this. Not complete.

Two Fools West of Chicago by  atqi

"You're acting strange." John said warily, his voice soft, slow, careful. It was like staring down his rifle scope at a herd of deer. One false move and he could find himself in the middle of a stampede he couldn't escape. Arthur held his jaw tight. He moved to sit up and turned, looming over him.

-

A younger Arthur Morgan and John Marston take a job to track down a businessman's mistress and discover an affection for each other on the road that ends up giving them both what they need.

Young Arthur and John are so well written. The dialogue is so in character and so good. Really fun, with feeling. Great read. Complete.

eye of the beholder by  Yuu_chi

He thinks of John last night, on his back flicking through the pages with the faintest look of wonder on his face. Of the way he’d clutched it close when Arthur had tried to pull it away. It’s enough to make his sore heart ache, and he wonders why he does this every time.

This scene is what was missing the canon for me. The interactions between them is so enjoyable. Arthur being bad at expressing sentiment and John feeling all awkward about it too. Complete.

Golden day blues by  Yuu_chi

Arthur is given a second chance. Some days it feels like a gift - other days it feels like a punishment.

Modern - reincarnation alternative universe. Spoilers for end game. A literal punch in the face, but a good one. It made me feel a lot of things reading it, and left me wanting more. Complete.