#sad songs always get those creative juices flowing
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it's funny bc if you looked at my Spotify daylist you'd think I'm really deep into my feelings and really heartbroken and very down all the time, but in reality, I'm just a writer.
#... with a penchant for angst I mean whAT#random thoughts#jim's journal#I found this out when I was comparing daylists with a friend of mine bc their was so happy#and I was like “I'm pretty happy too so why does my daylist not reflect this??”#then I remembered my days of torturing my OCs (affectionately) and searching for fics with pining and writing unnecessary pain#and it hit me that I am NOT just a girl in the world I am actually just a WRITER In this world!!!#sad songs always get those creative juices flowing#when I want to write poetry I just put on t swift's New Year's Day and the words flow ✍️#writing#music#spotify#daylist
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COULD i also request an idol!K oneshot/longshot (perefered fem reader but also wtv you are comfortable w) inspired by you are in love by taylor swift and its like suuper fluffy and he is so sweet and kdramary and like theyre wondering around the city or smth(can you tell I just finished binge watching i-land and immediately need compensation for the pain it caused me 😭😭😭) omg maybe like a friends to lovers trope and he realises how much she means to him and its like a she fell first but he fell ten times harder like IM SO SORRY FOR RAMBLING I NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF MEJFDHSKDFGJ like im just imagining confessions in the rain after a miscommunication which left them both rlly sad and then she runs after him in the middle of a city street at midnight. honestly PLS TAKE complete creative freedom because as you can probably tell my thoughts rn r super messy and delulu ajshgfhkfhkgdjhsdfhgfdjkg i literally just have been thinking abt a long fic to get immersed in w K bc i have seen ltrly none😔 THANK U SMSMSMSMSMMS ASDKJFH.
Here i am!! So i finally got back to my writing and this one got those creative writing juices flowing and it gave me so many ideas so enjoy!!
…………………………………………………………………………….
Coffee at Midnight.
K! X fem reader based off the song “ you are in love “ by Taylor Swift.
…………………………………………………………………………….
You and K had been friends for what feels like forever. You guys had gone to the same school and were close in age so you two naturally grew closer. Before you even realized, you two were best friends. But as time went by you couldn’t help but look at K differently, Over the years he had filled out and his features grew more defined. Anyone who knew K would notice this, unless they were blind.
But you hadn’t even registered your own feelings changing, not until you were head over heels for him. You two shared a love of the performing arts so when he debuted, he managed to get you an audition and then he stepped back and let you handle it. He knew you’d land the rest yourself, he always had a blind faith in you. He trusted you more than you trusted yourself. It was a little bit after that, that you realized you’re own feelings towards K.
It was one look, and a dark room, a light hearted joke.
It had been a few months since you had begun your training, and to say that you were exhausted was a major understatement. It was well past 10 at night your monthly evaluations were right around the corner and you couldn’t quite nail the choreography that you would be tested on. Your body was tired and you were drained but you couldn’t just give up. Your eyes were aching so you had dimmed the lighting just enough to relieve the dull ache.
You were so into your practice that you hadn’t heard your phone going off, you didn’t hear the messages that k was sending to check on you. And lets just say when he got no response, he went to check on you himself. Because how dare his best friend not answer him.
What you did hear was the door to the practice room opening. You had thought for a second that it would be an instructor coming to kick you out of the room, luckily it was not. It was just K.
“You weren’t answering me…i was worried about you.” K said, being the one to always speak his mind. But he could read you like a book. So why bother hiding your exhaustion. Without saying anything, you let out a sigh and not-so-gracefully sat down on the ground. You laid back and simply said. “I have been at it for hours and i cannot get it right no matter how hard i try. Im not that much of a dancer.”
And then he gave you that look, the look that would make you feel so loved and cared for that it unlocked all of those hidden feelings.
“Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing so well. Even if you do not realize it. You know….i think i saw some janitors, trainees… even a few pigeons watching you dance through the windows. An amazing performance.” He said jokingly, although he truly meant that you did an excellent job. He had just wanted to see you smile instead of looking like you would cry any second.
And after that, your feelings for him kept growing but you were certain he would never see you as anything more than a friend. Still you always had hope that he /could/.
That was until you had gone to the mall one day and were window shopping by yourself, you had invited K along but he had said that he was at a practice. You didn’t think anything of it, they had a comeback coming up anyway. You really didn’t give it a second thought. Well…until you did.
You had walked into your favorite store, the place where you got all of your clothes from. It was locally owned and they only had this one location. Everything about it made you smile, from the dresses to the shoes, to their jewelry. You were happily browsing but that soft peaceful smile that you had faded in an instant.
Right in front of you was K and a girl you had never seen before standing in front of a bracelet rack. They were clearly close, leaning closer to each other as they talked.
In that second, it felt like your whole world had came crashing down. Why had he lied to you about practice? Why was he here with /her/? And why was she standing so close to him? A thousand questions raced through your head as K looked up and made eye contact with you. There was panic in his eyes in that second, and without a word you turned around and left. If only you knew the real reason that he was so panicked….
Unknown to you, the reason he was there in the first place was because he had wanted to buy you a bracelet and confess his own feelings that had grown. He wanted it to be romantic and special. A sweet confession. He had asked his cousin to come along and help him pick out something that you would like. He only wanted to surprise you and not hurt you.
He thought situations like this only happened in the dramas that he watched on the television. But K had seen that devastated look in your eyes and he felt the pain that washed over you in that second. You might have fallen for him first but he fell harder that’s for sure.
it was midnight when you decided to go to the convenience store and get some coffee, your head was still swirling with emotions, and the weather outside represented how you were feeling, windy and stormy. Then you felt your phone go off and found that K had texted you, saying that he was on his way to your apartment. All you said in return was that you were getting coffee, to come a different time.
As you rang up your coffee and a little sweet treat, you pulled your hoodie up to cover your hair before going back out in the rain. You wee still hurting but you couldn’t see K until you felt calmer. You didn’t want to lose him entirely.
The bell sounded from the door and before you knew it you heard your name bing called. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.
“she is my cousin.” That was all k said as he walked up to you. And you were still in shock because how had he known that you were at this convenience store.
“This is the only place open that has coffee near your place..” He seemed to hear your silent question, then you noticed that his hair was soaking wet from walking in the rain.
“still. I thought you had practice.” The hurt in your voice had said enough as you walked around him heading back inside. It was all a fresh feeling for you and you still had so many questions left unanswered.
“stop and listen please.” K said following you outside into the pouring rain. That’s when he let the truth slipped past his lips as he let like he was losing his best friend. He grabbed your hand and you felt a smooth, cool metal press against your hand. “I didn’t know that you felt this way about me until i saw that look in your eye today. (Y/n) i was planning to do this in a better setting but ill just tell you now. She was helping me buy you a bracelet, I couldn’t tell you because it was going to be a surprise. But i really like you, actually no. You’re my best friend and you mean the entire world to me, i love you. Im sorry you had to find out this way.” The look in his eyes was a desperate one.
You felt shocked, you had never once considered any of the things that just fell past his lips, and as if he saw your shock he let go of your hand and left the bracelet there. He rocked back on his heels to give you time to process his words as the rain fell around you two.
“i… you like me? Really? But how did you…. Did you know I’ve felt the same?”
“not until today…i saw that look you had. Like you wee heart broken…I can’t risk losing our burnt toast sundays…” His comment made you crack a smile as all the pieces slowly fit into place.
and the rest…. Well that’s history.
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eep im working on ch4 of love me like the world is ending and its honestly refueling me. im trying to build up a gigantic unposted backlog so i dont have to freak out about what im going to do next every time i post a new chapter, both for this fic and before it breaks.
which, yes, im still working on before it breaks, don't worry, it's just been really hard lately. I got a new job where i work way more hours, and for some reason the juices arent flowing as well, but i will persevere because its a story i care about a lot and i want to see it through. i also dont ever want to write something that is so hard to write because its boring, because then i know it'll be boring to read, and thats something ive been struggling with for this fic.
doing this whole writing thing has really been a self-discovery journey about what i want my creative process to look like. ive never done anything like this. ive never done any kind of writing for fun, never enjoyed writing this much, honestly. the actual writing itself was way too far from my attention a couple months ago, when i was trying to post and write chapter by chapter, and now that i havent posted in a while im remembering why i started writing fic in the first place. it was always for the community, for the people who love the characters as much as i do, who want to get in their brains and see how they work. also for those who want to watch them break down, make mistakes, say heinous shit to one another, fall in love, work it out, god only knows how.
also, i randomly found a reader on tiktok when i commented on a calzona edit (of course, because im always gonna comment on a sad 4k hd video of my moms' divorce with a gracie abrams song in the bg), and it was probably the most joy ive ever felt in my whole life. like you're telling me we found each other on the giant internet? and you liked what i wrote? were not even in the place i posted stuff but i tell you my username and you recognized me? its surreal.
anyway, if you read all that, thanks for reading, both this and everything else my brain comes up with 💞 tldr: im still working on stuff, but its hard both bc its slow going AND bc i want a huge backlog built up before i start posting again.
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August 3rd, 2024
Gooooooooood morning, Vietnam!
Is she out of her slump? NIEN. But is she here, ready and willing to get her creative juices flowing? Begrudgingly, yes! I am having one of those days where I feel like one of those shitty excuse-for-a-paintings done by those sad captive elephants would sell for more than anything I could produce. But to be fair, those elephants don't have to worry about paying rent in this economy; they just have to do basic tasks like avoiding poachers, which I will say I've done excellently all my life. If I could afford to spend more time worrying about just my "cReAaTiVe ViSiOn" like those guys, I'd probably be the creative director for Dior by now We're experiencing a 33-degree heat wave, and it feels like the intro cut scene to one of those semi-racist early 2000s spy movies. You know, the ones with the generic Arabic music playing over a cut scene of wobbly desert air and a camel chewing on some grass—except instead of a camel, it's a Canada goose.
Suppose I should give you some real updates then, here is a rapid-fire
Went to Singapore and seared the images of the rich people chilling on the "no povos" side of the bar (we were rejected twice)
accidentally ate at what was probably the only damn chain cafe in Paris (twice)
saw that tower everyone is always on about... the rusty one made of metal... the Eifel tower, or something like that? Next to it was the river that was mentioned in an Abba song once; not sure what all the fuss is about
I nearly passed out on the microgravity flight (it turns out im not built differently) - I FINALLY ordered some more tea (this is objectively the most important out of all the above)
What else is there? Oh, committed Arson, but that's pretty standard at this point
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Something Simple
Hi! Hey! How’s it going? Good? That’s so good!
So I’ve been gone...Ha ha. I feel like I should have an excuse ready, and an apology, and a promise to do better in the future. But honestly, I don’t have...any of those.
Well I do have an apology, I’m sorry that I’ve been gone and kinda just left the internet. I don’t really look at social media as much as I used to (which honestly is super good for mental health, but kinda sucky if you do stuff on social media :P)
I haven’t had a ton of ideas lately, and when I do, I get frustrated with myself because it’s not the most amazing piece that I’ve ever worked on. I had a serious talk with my girlfriend (she’s seriously the majority of my inspiration for most of my works) and she said something that gave me an epiphany.
Sometimes you just have to make some sucky tea until you make the best tea of your life :) (I swear that makes more sense if you read the story lol)
I like domestic fluff. I like short and simple stories. So that’s what this is! I don’t wanna waste my time waiting fro inspiration to strike when I can make something to get me through writer’s block! So if you don’t mind my wacky schedule, I hope you enjoy this simple piece :)
It begins under the cut! <3 Ao3 Link
This should be easy.
It used to be easy for him when he was younger. When he was five, Luka would listen to the waves on the boat and hear a unique tune out of it. At eleven, his mom told him about an old tale she heard and he wrote lyrics based on it. Sixteen, Juleka would idly pluck her bass and he’d come up with three different songs just from the sound. Music was natural to him.
Now it was hard. Nothing inspired him. He was supposed to be a musical guy. How could this tear him down so easily! Maybe his life was too good now. No problems to sing about, no unrequited love songs, no daddy issues. His life was great! What happened to him?
After his dad came back into his life, he appreciated their little relationship. They would jam out and have fun, although it was still awkward to call him ‘dad’, it still seemed fine. He found out a lot of weird stuff with magic and identities when he was younger, but it led to Marinette confessing a huge secret to him. Misunderstandings got cleared up and they ended up reigniting their romantic relationship. After proposing to her last year, they got an apartment that was perfect for them.
Everything was perfect, really. Maybe that was the problem, everything was perfect. Juleka did tease him lately about “losing his edge”. Was his edge gone? His blue dyed hair was barely visible nowadays, any tattoos he got during university were usually covered up by his vast collection of MDC sweaters, even his ear piercings were replaced with whatever colored ones matched his outfit that day!
Maybe he was getting old. He was getting engaged to one of the sweetest people in the world, maybe her sugar-like sweetness rubbed off on him.
Was his music destined to be lost to the winds forever? Did all the talent leave his blood the moment he started settling into a domestic life? Juleka seemed to keep her musical charm, she still did small gigs with Rose in coffee shops every now and then. Ivan even toured around with his new band after university.
All Luka did now was make instruments. Was that even close to musical? His dad supported his career decision, despite intense protests. His in-laws helped him open a little shop. Everything was so easy and simple.
Even now, he waited for Marinette to come home so they could finish watching 'Halloween Wars'. He spends his nights watching reality television. Who has he become?!
It clearly led him here, on his couch, guitar in hand, with no progress being made. He wanted to make something fantastic. Something that Marinette would hear and be reminded of the songs he used to write for her. Luka would sing to her and he would tell himself how he “still has it”.
But nothing came out. No tune, no music, no notes, no lyrics, nothing. Luka sighed and put his guitar on the side of the couch and decided to take his mind off of music, at least for now. A little break should be good! Looking across the living room, he realized the utter mess he made.
Music sheets were scattered across the coffee table, pencils somehow found their way to the floor. Maybe he should clean up, just to have a clean environment to work in.
���
Or maybe he should make himself some tea. Tea always gets creative juices flowing! Not cleaning up, nope. That’s what people do when they’re avoiding stuff and Luka Couffaine does not avoid stuff! Especially not cleaning messes that look like a natural disaster hit his living room. Nope, not avoiding.
So that’s where Marinette found the love of her life two hours later after work. In the kitchen, making tea, warzone in the living room and his heart clearly broken. Opening the apartment door and seeing the utter chaos made her remember just who she was about to marry, but going into the kitchen and seeing the look of despair on his face when he realized they had no honey for his tea was just plain sad.
She took off her shoes and coat and walked over to where he stood, hunched over the counter, staring deeply into his bitter tea. Her arms wrapped around his middle and she let her head rest between his shoulder blades. “Lu? You okay?”
Instead of answering, Luka gently stirred the tea with a spoon and shook his head. “...we forgot to buy honey.”
“And…that’s the only reason you seem upset?”
One quick glance over to the living room definitely made her question if honey was truly the culprit. Then again this wouldn’t be the first time a Couffaine had caused trouble for something small. She’d never forget the shape of the boat after the Captain had lost her favorite headband.
“I… can’t make music anymore.”
Marinette slowly let go of his midsection and turned him to face her. She squinted at his face, trying to see if this was an elaborate joke. “Uh- No offense, but that doesn’t seem possible. I mean… music is second nature to you.”
“You don’t get it. I lost my edge! I’m not cool anymore. I don’t have daddy issues, or love issues, or school issues, or work issues, or-”
“Yeah yeah, you were an angsty boy. But music didn’t come from you because you were edgy. Music is just a part of who you are. Whether you have issues or not. And believe me, the songs you used to write for me were anything but edgy.”
Luka sighed and grabbed his cup of bitter tea. He looked in it and gave it to Marinette. “This tea sucks. It’s like my music. It doesn’t have that ‘umph’ that it needs to be good.” She looked into the cup and decided to take a sip. She let the flavor sit on her tongue for a bit and stared back into the cup, thinking to herself for a second.
“The tea isn’t great, I’ll give you that. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s just… simple. Nothing too extraordinary, nothing too disgusting. It just tastes like tea. And maybe you just need to make simple tea every once in a while before you can go back to making your delicious Luka juice.”
He chuckled at her analogy and took the tea cup back to give it one last sip. Honestly Marinette was right, although she always tended to be right about these things, the tea wasn’t awful. It wasn’t his favorite, but not every song is his favorite either.
She gave him a kiss on his cheek before heading over to their bedroom.
Luka decided to move back over to the living room to clean the area up a little bit. He put away the massive amount of paper and took most of the pencils from the area, leaving only one sheet of music, his guitar, and a single pencil.
He let out a deep sigh and sat back down on the couch, grabbing his guitar. He sat back and stared down at the music sheet on the table. “Something simple, huh?”
#Pro Lukamari#lukanette#marinette dupain cheng#luka couffaine#domestic fluff#fluff#tea#creative block#music#happy ending#complete
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prompts list #2
Hi! Here are even MORE dialogue prompts to get the creative juices flowing.
There aren’t any specific genres like my other one but I did try to use the same three categories (fun, romantic, angst). The link to that list is riiiiight here!
Enjoy these 200 prompts! :)
"All you had to do was follow the instructions."
"We're stranded!"
"Don't touch that!"
"Is that…?" → "Yes."
"Well, when life gives you lemons…"
"Twenty minutes of my precious life was just spent making this contraption that doesn't even work!"
"That's gonna leave a mark."
"Forget what just happened, okay?"
"My entire nervous system is on fire."
"I will not be swimming in that disgusting pool."
"C'mon, be a fearless warrior prince/princess for once!"
"I'm in love with...ice cream."
"Clean up on aisle seven!"
"Mosquito bites suck."
"Excuse me? Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?"
"Please hurry. I really need to use the bathroom."
"Ow! Stupid freaking corner!"
"Why do we have to go now?"
"Oh my God, you better not--"
"Get down from there!"
"I wish I wasn't allergic to cats. They're the purr-fect companion." → "Please stop before I smack you."
"My future kids will see this picture so I am not wearing that."
"Everything is free!"
"Would you like a drink for your troubles?"
"HOT! FIRE IS HOT!"
"Oh, please. Give me a break."
"Name off the first thing that comes to your mind, go!"
"I'm so bored."
"Alarm clocks were such a stupid invention!"
"I'm...reading?"
If you cook there will be nothing to eat; you'd burn it all."
"I'd be nothing without my harmonica."
"Are we going to a bar or not?"
"I'm rolling my eyes at you in spirit, then."
"All I wanna do is dance!"
"I’m quite sarcastic if you couldn’t tell already.”
"Awww, hi there, little buddy!"
"What is that thing?"
"I triple dog dare you."
"Crisis avoided!"
"Why did you text me when you're sitting right next to me?"
"Contrary to popular belief, money does, in fact, grow on trees."
"Stop right there!"
"It's so loud in here!"
"My air guitar skills are literal fire."
"There's shampoo in our soap dispenser. Freaking. Shampoo!"
"Hand me that blanket, please."
"How many languages do you speak?"
"You've never gone fishing?"
"Ha ha, can’t you see how hard I'm laughing?"
"No! My phone is only at one percent!"
"Puppy!"
"They're obsessed with you...in a creepy way."
"Do a flip!"
"That's what she said!"
"Why are razors so sharp?"
"Ouch, my poor feelings."
"Smells like a doctor's office in here."
"I love the rain!"
"You did not just compare Eminem to Mozart."
"Uno!"
"You could choose anything in this store...and you chose that?"
"Cottage cheese is delicious!"
"Attack!" → "Retreat!"
"I love...refrigerators!"
"Sing me a song."
"Pick up your own trash! I am not your maid."
"That's a beautiful dress."
"Stop making those stupid dirty jokes!"
"Try me."
"Okay, okay, I get your point."
"It's not mad science."
"We came full circle."
"Can I borrow your shirt for a second?"
"That's going to be really hard to clean, you know that, right?"
"You want to live in Hawaii, huh?"
"Wait, stop-- no!"
"Wanna go get milkshakes?"
"That was a waste of my money, time, and patience."
"That's a huge problem!"
"Did you just say that you don't like popcorn?"
"Don't tell me you have a 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign."
"Hey, look at that nice car."
"Not today, Satan!"
"Can I offer you a piece of pie in these trying times?"
"Ew! Get it off me!"
"I always forget how nice it is to just lay on the couch and relax."
"Throwing a football is easy, though!"
"What happened to your hair?"
"That's an...interesting outlook."
"Wanna know what really irks me? Those pointless life hack videos on Instagram."
"I don't work out for fun, you know."
"He/She/They should be here right about...now."
"Don't eat that."
"Yes! I'll take it!"
"Is it just me or is it really hot in here?"
"Do you think it's cursed?"
"Sunburn hurts."
"Let's play the classics like Elvis and Prince, maybe a little bit of Queen?"
"Is that car coming this way?"
"Snowball fight!"
"That's why I'm such a good actor/actress."
"Can you sit still for five minutes?"
"It's a...a...wait, what is it again?"
"You're so sweaty."
"Hot chocolate?"
"I don't particularly enjoy sushi."
"Déjà vu, maybe?"
"Open that door!"
"It's my way or the highway, buckaroo."
"Did we win?"
"This show is really annoying but I can't stop watching it..."
"Stalker, much?"
"WEDGIE!"
"What's your favorite band?"
"That movie sucked.”
"Why’d it have to be today?”
"Go get coffee?"
"Is that a skateboard?"
"Why are you running?"
"Can I see?”
"Do it and I’ll hurt you.”
"I was talking to myself...sorry.”
"Well, now we know how the show ends...”
"We learn something new each and every day!”
"But first, hot chocolate.”
"You can have my slice!”
"You got this!”
"That attitude may be your doom…”
"For the last time, earth is not flat!”
"Honesty is what can make a relationship thrive.”
"Was that a grandfather clock?”
"Let’s go for a coffee run.”
"Don’t forget to write that down.”
"Some people just want to watch the world--” → “Learn!”
"Do you play an instrument?”
"Just do your best.”
"Oh my God, they’re helpless!”
"We’re making history!”
"Give me your strongest roar, mister lion!”
"Cue the sad trombone.”
"Don’t take candy from random people!”
"Clowns? Seriously?!”
"What’re we supposed to do now? Sit here and photosynthesize?”
"Slow and steady wins the race…”
"Too! Fast!”
"Remember when you said that you only needed to buy one thing?”
"Rewind! I didn’t see!”
"Speak up, please.”
"I haven’t been the same since.”
"I’m never satisfied.”
"Just wait a second, okay?”
"Oh wow, that’s what I call eye candy…”
"Is this some kind of smart person joke that I’m too dumb to understand?”
"Get back here!”
"Nice job, (name), I’m proud of you.”
"At least you’re happy now.”
"I still need to find a present for (person)’s birthday.”
"That was disgusting.”
"Is it supposed to taste this bland?”
"We should write a story.”
"Wait, you have a scrapbook?”
"What we’re about to do is illegal!”
"That bird is giving me a dirty look…”
"Why do pillows hurt so much?”
"Giddyup!”
"That’s such a sob story. Can’t you see my invisible tears?”
"Check this out!”
"I never want to do that again!”
"I’m falling asleep just looking at you.”
"What’s with the glitter?”
"Stop yawning, for God’s sake!”
"Why’re you so sassy?”
"The roads are scary at night!”
"How about we ride into the sunset like in all of those old cowboy movies?”
"What’s the problem?”
"How could you not be excited for it?”
"Let’s make soap!”
"Instant ramen, anyone?”
"One cup isn’t enough!”
"I didn’t think you’d actually show up.”
“My hands may be small but that doesn’t mean that they don’t have the ability to punch you.”
"Surprise!”
"I’m just trying to braid your hair!”
"It’s like we’re walking a tightrope.”
"Bold of you to assume that I need help.”
"I really like your...pants.”
"Why did you step on my toe?”
"What time is it?”
"No! That’s not how this game works!”
"Who are you?”
"That was really smooth...”
"We need to turn this spark into a flame!”
"Well, essentially…um...”
"Can we just go outside?”
"We’re all stupid geniuses.”
"That couch is calling my name!”
"Oh, how lovely.”
"I haven’t been to the zoo in years!”
"Plot twist!”
Phew...that was a lot. But I hope you have some inspiration! :)
#writing prompts#dialogue prompts#writing#anything else related to writing i guess#i hate tagging#:)
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So That New Video Huh?
Okay holy shit, I’m gonna do an analysis for it. I’ve never done this before and no one literally has ever asked me to do this but youre getting it anyway cause this is the only place I can gush about this so freakin deal XP
First off, I woke up at two AM cause I’m A Disaster like that, and was greeted with this wonderful video. So naturally I make a pot of coffee and some Crofters toast and get on with my analysis.
Also! THE SWEATERS AND SCARVES! I WANT ALL OF THEM! On that note huge preesh to my Mum -even though she’ll never see this- who’s helping me buy one of the sweaters even though she doesn’t have to cause I’m a Grown Ass Adult ™ with my own money. Kind of.
Anyway on with the analysis! Under the cut cause Daaaaaaaaaaaamn is it long.
- Thomas' jacket! I want it.
-That ad intro though XD
-RAAAIID!!
-I be a real floozy XD
-Don't trust an old viking like me: Thomas Sanders (you know, the youtuber)
-PIrateS DiDn’T ReallY TAlk lIke ThIS! Reexamine your cultural biases!
-'what the hell is that accent?' going a liiittttle Remusy voice there Tommy.
-his ears scrunched down by the helmet and the beard string...
-Hahahahahaa, masculinity is a prison!
-SANDERS ASIDES! Nice.
-OKAY SO, this is literally the first thing I did when waking up and my mind was not ready for them TO BE HANGING OUT ON THE COUCH, suffice to say I had a mini freakout to myself and then excitedly continued.
-THE ONSIES I WANT VIRGILS!! THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE
-a florida dwelling man, who never leaves his house. Good point XD
-Romans immediate Sass™ Love It
-Virgil’s Just As Sassy Thumbs Up. Hyello!
-*gasp* ohmygoodness it’s all Frozen. Oh whoever could have predicted that! Roman... Please.
-Virgil’s eye squint at Roman when he announced 100% of the votes were frozen and Pattons excited cheering even though he just said he didn't vote for it so there's no way it could have been 100%
- Now that I think about it, if Roman didn't rig it, I think they'd probably be at a standstill with, ya'know all their votes being on what they wanted to watch.
-mmnnmmmnnn falsehood. It was so calm this time. soft falsehood.
-Paton’s incredulous 'too childish?!' he says this like he's recently seen Logan wear his and he's like 'what, but what'
-how can Thomas feel B.A.D with his inner D.A.D We👏 Get👏 It👏 You're 👏Adorable!
-VIRGIL: I CAN THINK OF A FEW WAYS. PATTON’S SAD LOOK!
-redirecting his attention to something good.... or neutral.
-ROMANS SASS
-Who among us can forget the absolute bop that is...... this weird ice cutting song. Roman with the sarcasm.
-Pat: pretty cool/what it’s a chilled out groove! Lo: I might need you to leave.
-Virgil's constant just Overthinking™ and not actually paying attention to the movie really. Mood.
-WHOS KID IS HE?! WHY DOES NOONE NOTICE THEY’RE LEAVING HIM
-some things need time.... Like evolution! Cute Nerd Alert.
-Patton blowing on his drink
-I ALso LOve you Olaf!
-VIRGIL’S LOOK AFTER THAT
- no you’re mine now
-I love that Roman commentates on movies he watches cause that is 100% Me
-’the heart is not so easily changed’ Lo: No it isn't. Pat: Hmm?
-’but the head can be persuaded’ Ro: Can it though?
-’fear will be your enemy.’ Virgil’s looooooook T.T
-Pat and Ro: JOOOOAN! Virgil and Lo say nothing. Thomas:..... Joan...
-it’s making me too aware of the passage of time! Ooooooof big Mood™ bro.
-REMUS!!! :D
-Of course he's naked, cause why wouldn't he be, they're all in their comfortable clothes.
- they're gonna die at seea! :D
-I sleep in the buff. Thank you Remus. No seriously, good to know.
-Virge: Did i screw everything up? Ro: No I threw out your vote so you couldn't do that. ROMAN!
-Patton’s head bob in agreement about missing the hand drawn movies
-Roman’s actual misunderstanding that virgil wasn't talking about frozen being the wrong decision.
-Verge: How are you telling me to settle into something right now when you've taken your sweet time to settle into things that you were uncomfortable with in the past? Virgil with the shaaaade.
-Pat: I just think we should all relax. Virge: You do realize who you’re talking to right?
-Virgil's genuine confusion if Lo is asking him that question cause hes always so literal and then proceeds to tell him the number anyway.
-’why have a ballroom with no balls?’ Remus’ snicker, same.
-Just give in to the raunchy jokes Thomas, it's funny.
-Roman imitating Hans’ 'evil plotting face'
-Ro in Dude Bro Voice: aw man yea I’m so fucked up on chocolate fondue I don’t even know what im sayin right now
-All of the others smiling at that. Is Roman doing this to make them smile?
-Patton whines, Logan: Is something wrong Patton? UM Logan asking about FEELINGS Cute.
-there's no way shes coming out of this situation without trust issues. Mmmmmmyea.
-Ro: except for the footprints behind you. Lo:HEy YEa!
-Pat, quietly: don’t let them in don’t let them see. PATTON! SOMEONE HUG DAD PLEASE
-Virge: he may have been an idiot back in the day, but hes not anymore... Virge, are we talking in double meanings here?
-Lo: she shouldn't let go of more of her clothing that’s for sure, shes gonna freeze to death. Lo, she has ICE POWERS. I'm sure she’s fine. The cold never bothered her anyway.
-Logans confused, what about a bridge? Metaphors Lo.
-Pat: let it go! Ro: lie low in our kingdom of ICEolation, come on paton don’t go for the low hanging fruit.
-Lo: There’s a storm out tonight!? Well, obviously Thomas has to stay home why are we debating this. No, Lo honey, it’s still a metaphor.
-Lo: you think this castle has a lavatory? Pat: ICE TOILET! Ro: or a bed? Pat: ICE BED! Lo: this place sounds awful.
-Pat: his thing with the reindeer? Lo: outside of nature's laws? Re: he DEFINITELY FUCKS THE REINDEER! I THOUGHT THE SAME THIIIIIING.
-Ro: If OnLy ThErE wAs SoMeOnE OuT ThErE wHo LoVeD YoU 'hans evil plotting face'
-Logan pointing out Romans constant shade at he movie.
-UM! THIS IS HOW I SHOW MY LOVE UM EXCUSE YOU, My Prinxiety heart.
-Romans complete legit reason why Ana should have been saved by Olaf.
-Virge: I bet he’s talking about you right now. THOMAS' FACE.
-Pat: Thomas has talked about him to other people. Patton likes gossip?
-Ro: WERE ALL GOSSIPY BITCHES SOMETIMES!
-Logan AGREEING that they’re gossipy bitches XD
-OKAY I LOVE THAT RO IS THE ONE WHO SWEARS THE MOST
-Patton pointing a logans points in agreement
-VIRGIL IS SPIRALING, deep breaths kiddo!
-Virge: just think about it. Thomas: LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE
-Virge: he trusted you enough to share a history that he wasn’t proud of with you. Again talking in double meaning here Verge?
-Virge: ‘he wouldn’t have gotten around to some of the stuff you wanted to know about on his own. More backstory to unlock mayhaps?
-Logan doing the countdown thing to help with the anxiety.
-Thomas going along with it without question, Virgil.... kinda going along with it?
-Virgil’s soft ‘.... blinds...’ after naming things that were like existential crisis things XD
- Thomas and Virgil tasting the same thing? Do they all taste what Thomas tastes? Or were they eating together?
-Lo: You are safe. T.T Loooooooogaaaaan
-LOGAN TOTALLY OWNING THAT THOMAS CALLED HIM COOL! CAUSE YOU ARE!
-Virgil’s soft look when Thomas is talking about adjusting and then saying that he still thinks theyre friends! UM again with the double meanings?!
-Thomas: things will be alright between us. PATTON LOOKS AT VIRGIL Cuuuuuuute
-Roman’s metaphor that makes no sense to the situation.
-Thomas: thank you Roman, that’s barely applicable.
-and then his look of 'you're welcome' XD
-ROMANS SASS!!
-Logans list of Elsa’s powers
-Patton nodding along to it and then his 'yea it all checks out' XD
-Logan’s thoughts on Arendales military being just Elsa cause of her powers.
-Virgil’s soft smile and sigh.... ‘Too bad we didn’t go to that party.’ VIRGE!
-Anxiety music starts, what if your soulmate was there and now you’re never gonna get another chance to meet him
-Ro reaching in Virgil’s direction OH SHIT OH SHIT!
-Oof youre freaking out princey there Virge
-Lo: watching a film is too passive of an exercise to allay Thomas' troubled thoughts, Virgil’s cute shrug and thumb nail biting like 'welp'
-DECEIT!!!!!!! ROMAN WHY DO YOU HAVE HIS HAT DO YOU HANG OUT TOGETHER, WHY WERE YOU IN HIS ROOM WHY WAS HE NOT WEARING IT WHAT WAS HE DOING WHEN YOU STOLE IT!
-Dee: I was looking for this! So he doesn't always lie, that’s good to know.
-Virgil’s HISSING! Okay sure, but he wasn't even talking to you man calm down XD
-Dee: DONT TOUCH MY SHIT *finger waggle*
-Romans face! Like, yep I saw this coming and i did it anyways, and I’m probably gonna do it again in the future.
-HOW OFTEN DOES ROMAN RIG VOTES?
-Logans interest in rewriting Frozen
-Ro: no. yes. I don’t know what you’re asking. Roman, it was kinda self explanatory XD
-everyones expressions when roman is talking about how he’s gonna rewrite it.
-YEA YOU LET THOSE CREATIVE JUICES FLOW!
-Virgil’s little ‘aw hell yea’
-REMUS: eh not my kind of fanfiction! WHAT FANDOM DOES HE READ FOR!? DOES HE READ STUFF ON HIMSELF AND THE OTHER SIDES!?
-ALSO HE’S RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUCH NEXT TO LOGAN NAKED, HOW MUCH CAN LOGAN SEE?!
-I’m going to bed. IN THE BUFF. Yes, you’ve stated this before XD
-everyones contributions to the fic
-Pat: I see your point Virgil, but how about this: nobody dies.
-Joan at the end XD Joan should do more ads with Thomas, they’re great.
-Thomas: you just do it XD
-LOGAN APOLOGIZING TO HIS ONESIE! MY FUCKIN ASS YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS YOU'RE APOLOGIZING TO AN INANIMATE OBJECT MY DUDE!
-So this is obviously after DWIT, cause of Remus’ appearances and Logan’s ownage of being called cool. But is it right after? Or is there gonna be a prequel type video next that happens before this and exactly after DWIT?
-Thomas being sad hurts me.
-Did I mention how much I LOVE THAT THEY’RE JUST CHILLING WATCHING A MOVIE HOW OFTEN DO THEY DO THIS!?
-Logan drinking his... coffee? Kinda drinking it. If they taste what Thomas tastes(??) does it happen the other way around? Probably not right? Or is it one of those things where it’s a phantom taste or craving type situation?
-Roman lounging on a bean bag chair in front of an actual chair, yea same.
-BUT ALSO VIRGIL SITTING ON THE BACK OF THE COUCH. I do that too much, or like on the arm.
-Logan just fuckin wearing dress shoes like they’re not just at home on the couch watching a movie.
#thomas sanders#sanders sides#sanders asides#sanders sides spoilers#roman sanders#patton sanders#logan sanders#remus sanders#virgil sanders#deceit sanders#joan stokes#thatsthat24#ts virgil#ts logan#ts roman#ts remus#ts patton#ts deceit#core analysis
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New Battles
The old gods are not dead.
Their peak of glory is a fragment of the past, but like all legends, they do not belong to the time they were born into.
They belong to the world that remembers,
And no matter how sparse their believers,
They live on.
Perhaps they have been ushered into the corners of humanity,
Rather than the pedestals they once occupied,
But they are there.
And they are watching;
Listening;
Doing.
Hermes; once a messenger, always a messenger.
Except now,
Not for the immortals who sat on top of the world, but for the world they all reside in.
It’s an ugly place;
A land of despair and cruelty and heartbreak
And hate and sin and darkness,
But Hermes, his golden sandals now rusted,
His cheeks now sunken from centuries on the road
Spreads the message to all who need it-
For those who need it is everyone.
Hope is not gone,
He repeats.
Hope is never gone.
Often, the words fall on deaf ears- despair is skilled at blocking out the world
But sometimes-
Sometimes,
They hear.
They lift their heads for a second,
They peer out at the world from underneath heavy lashes,
Searching for the soul with a voice like hope,
And they nod.
That is all Hermes knows he is good for anymore.
That is the only message he needs to deliver.
Artemis, of the moon, of the wild, of the hunt.
Her first love stays constant;
For what change can a speck of green bring to a jewel in the sky?
But she is not someone who can love one thing-
And oh, how her two other great passions have warped with the time.
The wild is no longer what it once was:
The grass is no longer green,
And the forests no longer lush.
The beasts she once hunted and hunted alongside are but memories and imprints in hardened mud.
For them, Artemis wages a daily war.
She is a one woman army, and her defense is of the nature she so loves.
Now, her arrows are rarely aimed at the animals that still inhabit the woods-
And so rarely are they arrows anymore.
The modern era has churned out weapons of steel and ash,
And it is these that Artemis uses to hunt those who wish to hunt her and hers.
Ares, the warrior and the blood shedder,
Now fights a different war from the ones he once delighted in.
Because the wars of the modern day
Are not what they once were
Swords and armor and horses
Traded for guns and bombs and tanks
Battles of purpose and patriotism
Now meaningless, endless,
The means for destruction of this scale
Was never meant for human hands
Or cruel human minds.
This is the war that Ares wages:
He fights everyday,
Steel slashing, blood arcing,
Cutting down the allies he once fought alongside
But now they are robots,
Zombies for a cause they don’t know about,
A government they do not trust.
Ares, no longer bloodthirsty, no longer triumphant,
Urges an end to the war.
But war is no longer his domain.
Poseidon, ruler of the seas, lover of the oceans
Now presides over a polluted kingdom
His subjects are dead or dying
His castles of coral and seaweed
Are being drowned alive by the filth that the world above churns out
Endless is his sadness, his rage, his helplessness
For he should have seen this coming
Industry was never meant to be a gift to the god of the sea
Just a discreet poison
No one thought would kill until it did.
Waves still bob and bicker,
But their life is not so cheery;
With it bobs islands of plastic and waste
Slick with rainbows of black
Strung with clear plastic nets
That entrap and ensnare and murder the innocent
There is so little he can do-
For he is but one against the uncaring of many
But each and every day is spent working
In the protection of the home that he is slowly losing.
Hera, the eternal mother, the constant wife, the queen of a time long gone
Her people,
Those who look up to her and those who she watches over,
Have seen the change of a century.
Earned, through blood and tears and fists and passion,
Their rights,
Their lives,
Their freedom.
She, worn and tired,
Smiles,
For her people have never been so much.
Never have they had what they do now.
But where there are victors,
There are losers, and there are the spiteful,
And no matter how little these losers have truly lost,
They feel cheated
Out of something that was never theirs.
They will never be satisfied with less,
The way her people once had to be.
But they have never had to fight the battles
That her people did,
And so although she has lost her prime, her beauty, her queendom,
She holds on to her place,
If not for herself,
For those who look to her,
For the true capacity of a woman.
Apollo, ever bright, ever center, ever joyous,
Still lives and dies each day for his spot in the sun
For a shadow of the admiration,
The adoration,
The praise
He was once showered with.
But his audiences now don’t care for his tricks,
His songs, his eyes, his hair, his hands.
They don’t care for intangible beauty,
For fleeting glimmers,
They hand in crumpled bills for soiled needles,
Exchange smoking pipes in back allies,
Hide away in stalls of bathrooms to fill their veins
With false ecstasy.
They paste smiles on their face, they let loose their mind,
They close their eyes and they pretend
At happiness.
But he knows that they are not truly happy,
They haven’t known how to do so in a long time.
He wants them to look at him again,
Want them to beam at him again with sunshine in their hair and mist in their eyes,
But more than anything, he wants them to feel the truth of joy.
To free their minds from chemicals of pretense,
To leave behind their smokes and their powders and their juices.
To join him in the sun,
Where it is warm and real.
Aphrodite, worshipped for beauty, for passion,
Knows what love is.
She was born with it curling through her blood like sea foam,
With the taste of it on her tongue,
With the knowledge of its truth secure in her palms.
She knows love better than she will ever know herself,
And she knows that love comes in so many forms.
The love between a little girl and a little boy,
Destined for greater things, but not yet.
The love between a woman and her wife of twenty-nine years,
A happy ending come to fruition.
The love between a man who doesn’t know it yet, and the man he is to meet later that day,
Unexpected, but beautiful; always beautiful.
The love between the uncertain teen and their breezy, blossoming best friend,
A love not without consequences,
Not without hate,
Not with the judgement of those who think they deserve such an opinion,
But love,
Nonetheless.
Love has been distorted into a commodity to be controlled by the same people who control markets,
Who control the government,
And she seeks to right their misunderstandings.
She no longer has the leisure to play her twisted games of love,
For there are far more twisted forces at work against her.
She has young lovers to reassure,
And obstinate critics to critique.
Love is love is love, she says.
No one would know better than she does.
Athena, the wise, the knowing,
sees the world for what it is.
In shades of gray and platinum and gunmetal and steel,
Everchanging and subtle,
A far cry from the bars of black and white that media advertises it as.
She knows that there is no good and no bad,
No true wrong and no true right.
There is only objectivity and subjectivity,
Each beholder for themselves.
Truth is different for each person,
And no one platform, no one channel, no one being, no one organization
Reserves the right to say otherwise.
She holds this simple message close to her heart,
Spreads it as far as she can reach.
But the media, the government,
Has technology that enables their spindly fingers to reach further.
And although her knowledge is more absolute than theirs can fathom,
Their webs of lies and false truths
Are too far integrated into the current world.
It is all she can do now,
To open the eyes of the few people still willing
To see beyond the film of mass society,
To bring change with one voice at a time.
Hephaestus; a craftsman once worshipped for creativity
Finds no hint of his old domain in the world of industry.
The artists, the writers, the dreamers,
Have fallen to the fringe of society,
Their crafts lost to the gears and machines
Of a modern age,
Where assembly lines reign true
And creations are spared no second glances and no loving care.
It is these careers of steel and paper and ball-point pens,
That shape the status quo,
That grinds edges out through a cookie cutter
Into the shape of a worker.
There is conformity,
Or there is poverty.
Within these solid black lines, there is no room
For the creativity that Hephaestus so treasured.
There is no room for flowing lines or vivid colors or segments of dreams
There is only the reality of the workplace,
And for some, the few that Hephaestus can get to,
The quiet peace of home and creation,
And the tidbits of inspiration that flare through the smog.
The world, he argues,
May now run on machinery and evenness and guidelines,
But no efficiency will ever replace the capacities of a human mind.
Hades, robed in darkness and throned on death,
Is sick, and he is tired.
Tired of the mass destruction that opens his gates,
Tired of the empty gazes and protruding ribs,
Tired of the constant stream of the dead that envelop his kingdom
In grief and hate and sorrow
On a scale he has never seen before.
But most of all,
He is tired,
Not of the dead,
But of the living.
Of the letters,
The prayers,
The pleas,
Of the living who wish they were not living at all.
Never has he seen his rivers so full of blood,
Never has he seen his dreams so full of begging youth and the disillusioned.
Never has he been asked,
So frequently,
To bestow the kiss of death,
To those who can no longer bear the gift-
The penance-
Of living.
It is a shame, a monstrosity, a tragedy-
That the world above has become a place far worse
Than the one below,
And that was never his intention.
His domain was meant to be the realm of after,
Not the final destination.
With shaken, white, crumpled hands,
He rejects as many of the pleas as he can
Begs, as he never has before,
For them to reconsider.
But sometimes,
They are too stubborn and the world of the living too cruel
And they find their way down
To him instead.
In all his years,
He has never seen so many smiles when they see his face
And every one
Breaks his heart.
Dionysus, still never seen without a wineglass in hands,
Now sits on the sidelines,
Swishes the liquid within his glass,
And does not take a sip.
Instead, he watches as young and old alike
Stumble into his bars,
Fill their livers with the red and silver bubbles
Of forget,
And lean away from their every day selves.
Away from their true selves.
He does not join in,
Even when they begin to dance
And laugh
And sing and shriek and rejoice,
Because he sees through their pretenses,
Sees through their attempt at happiness.
He was once one of them,
You see,
Before he realized that the greatest demons
Are the ones within.
He knows that no matter how much
They drink or laugh or try,
There is no escaping their reality
And no escaping the truths.
And so he tips his wineglass in their direction,
Toats their joy
And grieves for the tears they cannot shed.
Zeus, strong-willed and brave-hearted,
Has come to realize
Over the course of thousands up thousands of years,
His mistakes.
He knows what he has done wrong,
Has reflected on the personal ambitions
He once put above the greater good
The selfish desires
He once put above his otherworldly duties.
His days are long past gone,
And his mistakes,
Forever etched in the unforgiving hands of time,
Are past fixing.
But he looks around at the millions of heartbeats that surround him,
And wish that they too,
Could have the time he’d needed
To rectify their wrongs.
He has learned that nothing is permanent
Not his glory,
Not his crown,
Not even his faults.
But they do not have his time nor his immortality
To ponder this.
They only have their tomorrows,
And he can only hope that they will use
Those precious days.
And perhaps most forgotten of all,
Forgotten even when those who shared her blood
Had their spotlights.
Is Hestia.
She sits at home,
Content with her fire,
Her clotheslines,
Her picture frames.
She is alone again,
As she so often is,
Left behind to protect the home that so many have forgone
In search of gold and glory.
Everyone wants something,
Everyone wants to be more than what they are and who they were,
And she encourages these desires,
With tokens of luck and soft smiles.
But for all that they dream and hope and pursue,
She wants them to remember that there is always a place for them to return to,
A home where they belong.
There is cruelty in the world,
Unjustice,
Inequality,
And although ambition is a hearty, wonderful thing,
So too,
Is home.
The world is not what it once was,
Pockmarked as it has become.
And the old gods,
Though not what they were before,
Have adapted to fight new battles,
Losing as they may be.
Hope is frightened and small,
Nature is being cut down with ruthless efficiency,
War has spiraled out of everyone’s control,
Oceans fill with murky waste and the scent of death,
Womens’ rights are being wrestled with in an endless game of tug-of-war,
Chemicals create false happiness and temporary relief,
Love is fastened beneath lock and key,
Truth is distorted through layers of looking glass,
Creativity is stifled beneath stainless steel and cookie-cutters,
Life is harder to bear than the loss of it,
Self-expression hides itself away,
And mistakes go unrectified as the days drag on.
Even the old gods are trying to save the new world,
But they are twelve,
And that is not enough.
#old gods#greek gods#gods#ares#athena#zeus#poseidon#hades#hephaestus#hera#hestia#aphrodite#apollo#artemis#dionysus#hermes#old gods are not dead
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Gingerbread & Bloodshed
Parings: Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton, Steve Rogers x Sam Wilson, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts
Summary: Pepper asks the team to decorate Gingerbread Houses for a charity auction. She enlists the help of a local baker. Clint and Bucky think they could have a better time with her behind closed doors. Sam doesn't take kindly to their inappropriate flirting. Fists fly. Things break. Blood splatters Tony's belongings....Just another day in Avengers Tower.
Word Count: 3166
Pepper calls them all in for a meeting, and quickly sums up the agenda. The puzzled look on all their faces tells her all she needs to know. She would need to summon all her powers of persuasion. It isn’t going to be easy to convince a team of superhumans that building gingerbread houses for charity is a great idea.
“Just think of the smiles on those little faces when they see the finished products. Not to mention all the good that will come from the money we raise when the houses are auctioned off,” she says as she bats her eyes at them. “Can’t you find it in your hearts? I mean I knooow I don’t do annnything for you all year so it’s hard for you to want to do anything for me…”
“Alright, drama queen, let me stop you right there. Is the guilt trip really necessary?” Tony asks adding an almost audible eye roll. “Whadda ya say team? I’m sure we can manage something. I mean really, how hard can it be? If I can design and build an Iron Man suit I’m sure I can build a simple gingerbread house. Clint, on the other hand, I’m sure his will find a way to explode… or implode.”
Clint is leaning back in his chair playing with the strings on the Winter Soldier hoodie he’s wearing. His head snaps up when he hears his name. “What??? Why would you say such hurtful things, Stark? I mean really, I’m wounded,” he says, placing his hand over his heart in mock hurt.
“Seriously, Tony? If anyone is going to cause explosions around here it’s gonna be you,” Bucky tries to defend his boyfriend but Sam isn’t having it and feels the need to speak up.
“Why can’t you let your boyfriend defend himself? You always have to jump in when someone says something bad about your precious.”
“Ya know what? Maybe if someone actually thought you were precious you’d have someone to defend you if the need should arise,” Bucky claps back.
“How DARE you? Steve thinks I’m beyond precious. Don’t ya?” Sam says while batting his eyes in Cap’s direction.
Natasha has had enough of this nonsense. She was pretending to play with her phone while she quietly took it all in. This isn’t the end of the world and it might even be fun. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? Gingerbread houses are probably the only activity we could engage in as a group that won’t cause bloodshed. As long as you all act like adults for a change,” she says and then turns to face Pepper. “I’m sure we can pull this off. You’ll probably have to supervise though.”
“Oh no! No supervision. I don’t need any supervision,” Tony chimes in. “I don’t do well when I’m being hovered over.”
Natasha taps her long red fingernails on the table, clearly annoyed. “And what do you know about building gingerbread houses, Stark? Don’t you think it would be helpful if we had someone here that had some experience? Maybe an actual baker?”
“I have that part covered,” Pepper explains. “Jenny, the decorator from my favorite bakery, will be here on Friday to bake the gingerbread and get everything prepared. She’s even going to build the houses for you. All you little darlings have to do is decorate them. Think you can handle that?”
“Aww, you don’t trust us to build the houses? That’s not nice,” Cap chimes in adding sad puppy eyes for an extra bit of guilt.
“It’s not that I don’t trust YOU, Steve. I don’t trust the rest of the children.” Pepper waves her arms to indicate she referring to everyone else in the room. “Tony will try to build a replica of the Tower complete with wiring for the lights. Clint’s would probably fall apart after he gets distracted and only puts up two walls. Natasha wouldn’t be satisfied unless it was completely symmetrical and perfect. Do you see the logic in my reasoning yet, or shall I continue?”
Steve bows his head and nods. “I get it. I get it. Okay, you win,” he says. “I’m going to assume Jenny is a professional and won’t judge us too harshly.”
“Yes, she is. Don’t worry everything will be fine. It’ll be fun. You’ll see!” Pepper promises.
The team leaves the room mumbling to each other about staying positive and think of the kids.
All Natasha can think is—maybe this isn’t going to end well, after all.
~~~~~~~~~~
It’s Saturday night and one by one the team arrives in the common kitchen. Some look happy, some tired, and some look a little grumpy. Pepper is in the front of room quietly speaking to a pretty girl in a black chef jacket. Her dark brown hair is tied back with Christmas colored ribbons. She looks excited and maybe a little nervous. She takes a deep breath and addresses the room.
“Well hello everyone! So glad you all decided to participate,” she begins as she puts on her bright red apron. “My name is Jenny and I’m here to guide you to greatness! Now let’s all go to our stations and get ready to let our creativity flow!”
There are few groans. Pepper can sense they may need a little shove in the right direction.
“Listen up! You will do this and you will do it with a smile on your faces! There’s a press team on the way and you better not make us look bad. Any of you…Bucky…Sam…do you hear me?” she asks. Her heels are clicking loudly as she crosses the room. Tony knows when he hears that sound she means business.
“Better listen to her. Unless you like getting beaten with a spiked heel shoe and a purse strap,” Tony adds. “And if that’s the case. Send the press team away and call my personal camera crew. I want that on high def video.”
Jenny coughs as she rearranges some of the bowls of candies and colored sprinkles. She’s a little uncomfortable with where this is going and hopes she’s can draw their attention back to her instead. Not that her curiosity isn’t peaked; but now is not the time. This event is supposed to benefit needy children not her secret desire to watch an Avenger get beaten by a woman. Or each other…naked. Okay, her mind is wandering into dangerous territory. She shakes her head to try to clear her thoughts and switches on the perky charm once more.
“Hey now, let’s get this show on the road before the press get here,” she says. “We want to have something good for them to film. Not just blank houses and awkward fumbling, right? So everyone get your aprons on and get those creative juices flowing!”
Bucky picks an apron up off the table and glances over at Steve. The look on his face says, ‘Really? Do I have to?’. Steve immediately glares back as if to say ‘Just do it. Don’t make me come over there’. Bucky complys. As if on cue, Clint walks up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist. He whispers, a little too loudly, in his boyfriend ear, “Maybe later you can put that on, with nothing underneath, and make me dinner.”
“First of all, we already had dinner. And second of all…not a chance in hell.”
“Oh Barnes, you simple creature. He means make him dinner,” Natasha rolls her eyes as she ties the strings of her apron. “Stupid boys. Now I have to translate their flirting.”
“Okay that’s enough of that.” Sam doesn’t want to picture Bucky and Clint in action. “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”
“Whatever, birdbrain. You know you’d jump at the chance to get with one of us.” Bucky knows that’s not true but he loves to try to get under Sam’s skin.
“Right. Because either of you would be a fair trade off for Steve. What color is the sky in your world?” Sam asks.
Realizing the press will be there soon, Pepper needs to get these people under control. The public doesn’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors. Especially not who’s currently sharing a bed with Captain America. She’s pretty sure heads would explode coast to coast if they knew just how sexually active the Captain is. Better to keep his image pure for as long as she can. She’s already explained to Jenny that what happens in the Tower stays in the Tower. The confidentiality agreement she signed pretty much states if she talks she’ll become property of Stark Industries, and never be heard from again.
“Get this out of your system now because if I have to do damage control after the press leaves you’ll all be very, very sorry,” Pepper threatens. “Am I making myself perfectly clear?”
“Yeeees, Pep-per! Sooorry, Pep-per!” they all sing-song in unison. Jenny chuckles and ends up on the receiving end of a Murder Glare™. It’s even more terrifying than the one that Bucky is known for.
“Sorry, Miss Potts.” She bows her head and begins mixing the icing for the houses. When she looks up she catches Clint’s eye. He mouths the words ��it’s okay, don’t worry about her.’ and adds a dismissive wave and a crooked smile. She feels her heartbeat pick up. Get it together, girl. She says to herself. You don’t have a shot, so just do your job and go home to a cold shower.
“Okay everyone, as you can see I have all your houses built for you. I also made a sample house for you to follow or you can do whatever makes you happy,” Jenny explains. “It’s really up to you and your creativity. I’m here to help you if you need it.”
“I don’t know about this,” Sam quips, “should you really trust a lunk head like Barnes to be creative?”
“Oh, you wanna see how creatively I can rearrange your face, birdboy?” Bucky asks. The icy stare he’s throwing in Sam’s direction could probably freeze water instantly.
Clint glances over and shivers. “Glad I’m not the one on the receiving end of that look, for once. Good luck, Sammy ol’ boy, you’re gonna need it.”
Jenny coughs and walks over to help Sam apply the icing to his house. She figures if she distracts them for a moment they will forget what they were arguing about.
Sam sighs and shakes his head. He allows her to guide his hands as he begins to work on his house. They need to focus on the task at hand, not fighting amongst themselves. The faster they get this done the faster everyone in attendance can get back to the things, or people, they would rather be doing. A sideways glance at Steve tells him that his boyfriend has the same exact thought. He winks and wiggles his eyebrows to let Sam know they’re on the same page.
“Can you two keep it in your pants until we get this done… I mean, DAMN!”
“BUCKY!” Pepper shouts and motions toward Jenny. “We have a guest. Can you not, right now?”
“C’mon Pep, we know you have her under a gag order. She won’t say anything.” Bucky turns to Jenny. “Will ya, doll?”
Before she can answer Clint says, “She won’t talk. I’m positive that after tonight she won’t want to risk her chances of being invited back.” He makes sure she’s looking at him and without breaking eye contact he adds, “Maybe later we can test that theory. Whaddya say, Buck?”
“Copy that!”
“Are you… Are you two hitting on the baker girl?” Sam asks. “You can’t be serious right now.” He shakes his head and adds, “No class. None. You guys are unreal.”
“Excuse you?” Bucky snarls as he pushes his chair away from the table. This is escalating quickly. Nat tries to grab his arm to pull him back but he’s already walking toward Sam.
“You heard me. You got a problem with it?” he asks, rising from his chair.
“I have a problem with you!” Bucky snaps as he pushes Sam back down.
That did not go over well. The shoving becomes punching which results in two large men rolling across the floor and into the adjoining living room. Grunts and thuds echoing off the walls cause the usual head shaking from Pepper and Natasha. They’re used to the juvenile way the men around here problem solve.
“I’ve got $50 on Robocop. Any takers?” Tony asks the others.
“Really, Tony? Don’t encourage them. Act like an adult for once.”
“Lighten up, Stars and Gripes. You know the deal around here. Don’t act all shocked and offended when brawn overrules brain.” Just as Tony finishes bickering with Steve a loud crash draws all their attention. “That better not be my ninety inch TV you assholes just broke!”
There is no reply, just more grunting. They all shrug and continue with the task they’ve been charged with. It’s not like whatever it is that just shattered won’t be replaced by the end of the day. Tony has zero tolerance for broken belongings or walls for that matter. No doubt FRIDAY has already summoned the on staff contractors to repair the damage.
Jenny moves over to help Clint when Sam decides to tussle with Bucky instead of working on his house. “Is this normal?” she whispers in his ear.
“It’s reality in this place,” he whispers back. Leaning in closer to her ear he adds, “It’s kinda hot the way his body moves when he’s fighting…dontcha think?”
Clint’s breath in her ear makes her shiver. His words make her legs shake. When she woke up this morning she had no idea she might end up in bed with, not one but two, Avengers. Her words get stuck in her throat for a moment before she replies.
“It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I wish I could…”
“Jenny? I think the others can use your help, too.” Pepper knows what’s going on. She knows that look. It’s the same look Tony had before she ended up in bed with him...and Natasha. Jenny is a grown woman and can make her own choices, AFTER they finish these damn houses, that is.
“Right. Sorry, Miss Potts.”
A sudden yelp from the other room causes her to jump slightly. She backs into Clint and stumbles into his lap. “Crap! Sorry … I’m sorry,” she says as she scrambles to get up.
“Hey, relax it’s okay. I’m not sorry.” Clint has never minded a pretty girl falling into his lap, why start now?
The yelp they heard turned into Sam yelling at Bucky. “Are you freakin’ kidding me, Barnes?! You broke my nose!!”
“OKAY, THAT’S IT!!” Tony leaps to his feet and marches into the other room. “Blood on my rug. Blood on my sofa and oh… PEPPER… look at this,” he yells. She walks through the doorway and freezes. Tony is waving his hands wildly, motioning around the room. She gasps and covers her mouth. There is destruction from wall to wall. All that thudding they heard, that was a head, and various appendages, going through sheetrock.
“Boss, the contractors and cleaning crew have already been summoned,” FRIDAY informs Tony. “I’ve also taken the liberty of ordering a new sofa and TV.”
“Perfect, thank you FRIDAY. You’re the only one worth keeping around here.”
“WHAT?” Pepper gasps. “Excuse me?”
“I didn’t mean you, dear. That goes without saying.”
“Whatever, Tony.” she says and then turns her attention to the two culprits. The look on her face as she storms across the room actually causes Bucky to take a few steps backward. That isn’t enough to save him. She grabs him by the shirt and pulls him down to her face. “Get your ass back in that kitchen and do what I asked you to do. PLEASE,” she lets him go and gives him a small shove. “And stay the hell away from Wilson.”
“Yeah!” Sam shouts as Bucky slinks out of the room.
Pepper wheels around. “And YOU…you aren’t innocent here. Get your ass down to medical. Then...get back up here and do what I asked you to do. PLEASE.” Of course she has to add, “AND when you get back up here, stay the hell away from Barnes.”
“Yeah!” Bucky shouts from the other room.
~~~~~~~~~~
The houses are done. They press team has come and gone. The team was on best behavior while they were there. No more fighting, or flirting. Tony made up some crazy story about aliens and a suit malfunction to explain Sam’s broken nose and black eyes. It took all of Bucky’s self control to not burst out in hysterical laughter when Tony referred to it as “limp wing”. FRIDAY even helped out by projecting a hologram to cover up the destruction in the living room.
Pepper thanked them all for their cooperation and excused herself. She knew Jenny wouldn’t need to be shown out. They way Bucky and Clint were eyeing her up, that girl wasn’t going to be leaving any time soon. As long as she abides by the contract she signed, she can ‘ride the rides’ as much as she wants. Not that Pepper blames her for wanting to find out what these men are capable of. The team uses sex as a means of stress relief and she’s been involved in some extensive ‘relaxation’ sessions. She just hopes this ends well. Selfishly she’s worried about her baked goods obsession being in jeopardy.
The others begin leave the room. When Tony leaves he’s mumbling something about destruction, payroll deductions and blood stain resistant scotch guarding. Steve wraps his arm around Sam and whispers something about black eyes being sexy. They grab an ice pack from the freezer for Sam’s swollen nose and head up to their shared floor. Bucky hears Sam call him an asshole under his breath so he blows him a kiss. Jenny can’t help but laugh, and Bucky winks at her.
“So, Jenny... How would you like to join Bucky and me for a drink? Celebrate our outstanding teamwork today?” Clint asks hopefully.
“I’d love to but I don’t know if it’s such a great idea,” She says it but they don’t believe she means it. The fact that her pupils are already blown tells them she’d like nothing more than to join them for a drink…among other things.
“Is there anything we can do to change your mind?” They move to stand on either side of her. She can feel her body already begin to respond. The fact that they tower over her makes her begin to imagine the things they could do. She feels a flutter in her stomach as she searches for the right response.
“Actually, one drink can’t hurt. Right?” she asks even though she knows the answer.
“Exactly. I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”
Beta: @caramell0w
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Author Q&A
Q: What’s your sexual orientation?
A: I identify as gay.
Q: Which country are you from?
A: The United States - more specifically the southeast.
Q: Sometimes the level of detail and realism in the fic amazes me to no end. So I was wondering if you had taken inspiration on personal experiences or some real life people to write any scenes or describe some details?
A: Thank you! I have taken a few things from my own life – most of it being the more sexual stuff – but for the most part I’m just putting myself into the mindset of these characters and just writing as if I am them. I’m a very empathetic person, and it’s incredibly easy for me to put myself into ‘other people’s shoes’, so to speak. So because of that, I am able to write as if I am actually Nicole, or Waverly, or whoever is speaking in the moment. I do it for every single character in my story. It’s kind of fun, because it’s almost like acting! I will say that the only character I feel that’s a little different in my story than in the show is Dolls. I think in the show he’s a little more “to the point”, but in my story he’s a bit more easy going and laid back. That wasn’t a conscious decision, it just sort of happened that way. But I feel like if he wasn’t an agent that was trained to eradicate paranormal forces, he would be more laid back like that anyways, so it works out!
Q: Last movie you watched?
A: The Miseducation of Cameron Post, and it was VERY good. Chloë Grace Moretz’s acting in the film is incredible. It’s very realistic and eye-opening, and I definitely recommend buying/renting it and supporting the queer woman who wrote and directed it!
Q: What do you usually use to write your fanfictions?
A: I use Word on my laptop, and when I’m out and get a sudden burst of inspiration I’ll pull up the Notes app on my phone and start writing. The Notes app is great because it’s linked to my laptop as well, so when I get home I can just pull up the app on my computer and everything is there from my phone, so I just copy and paste it into my Word document! Technology is great.
Q: What does a typical day look like for you?
A: I wake up, take my wife to work, go to my job where I teach some kids how to play percussion instruments, come home to do something creative (writing, creating music, playing an instrument, etc.), pick my wife up from work, do something with her – usually either watching TV or playing a board game, go to sleep.
Q: What’s your favorite thing to write?
A: Most of the time, smut. Which is why there’s so much of it in my story! But I also really enjoy writing the humorous stuff as well.
Q: Favorite WayHaught kiss?
A: Their first one…it was a really good first kiss 😏
Q: Do you already have in mind other fics for the future?
A: Actually, I’m in the process of writing one right now! It’s a WayHaught high school alternate universe story in which Waverly is a cheerleader and Nicole is a basketball player who transfers to Purgatory High in the middle of sophomore year (10th grade). The story focuses on Waverly and Nicole figuring out who they are as young adults, discovering their sexuality, and exploring their bodies – as teenagers do. The goal is to make it as true as possible to being a teenager in 2019, for all of the teens out there that are stuck in high school and need something to relate to. I feel like a lot of the high school fics are a bit outdated, or don’t “go there” enough to touch on the “uncomfortable” or “taboo” topics. And you better believe that this fic will! I’m getting close to halfway through with it – about 10 chapters so far – and have been working on it for the past month. I will begin posting that when I’ve completed it, so be on the lookout! If you’re interested in helping me out with some plotline ideas for it, you can fill out this survey here… https://www.opinionstage.com/odaatlover/wayhaught-high-school-fanfiction-topics-calling-all-teens-or-anyone-interested-in-providing-ideas
Q: What’s your favorite holiday?
A: Pride! …does that even count as a holiday? If not, then I’ll say Christmas.
Q: What’s your favorite kind of date night?
A: Something where we can converse pretty easily. Maybe dinner or walking around somewhere.
Q: Do you brainstorm chapters before you write them?
A: Sometimes I’ll have a layout. For example, this is the exact brainstorming layout I have written out in my notes app for the next chapter…
Chapter 55 – (title?)
- Dolls asks Nicole for advice on a date he has planned
- Nedley asks Nicole to go “undercover” to find out what’s going on with Chrissy in her life
- Waverly surprises Nicole with a romantic homemade dinner. They talk about their day, Waverly asks Nicole some questions about her past.
There’s a little sneak peek for you guys 😉 But other than that, all of the dialogue just kind of flows naturally. There have been a couple of chapters where I didn’t have a layout at all and just let the words flow out of my brain, but most of the time I have an idea of the main plots of the chapter.
Q: Waverly or Nicole?
A: I relate more to Nicole, but I find Waverly to be more attractive.
Q: Do you have any siblings?
A: I have a sister who is 3 ½ years older than I am.
Q: What color are your eyes?
A: Blue. And they’re very sensitive to sunlight. I spend most of my life squinting.
Q: Do you ever get writer’s block?
A: Yes! Quite often, actually. Which is why your survey answers in regard to “The Grind” have been so helpful! Also, those who comment on my fic with ideas of things they want to see help too. Any time I get writer’s block, I’ll either read some fics to draw inspiration from, or I’ll just start writing something that’s completely different, just to get the creative juices flowing. Often when I have writer’s block and aren’t sure where to take the story, I’ll just do a random smutty chapter for the week. Hope you all are okay with that 😉 If you haven’t filled it out yet, you can find that survey here… https://www.opinionstage.com/odaatlover/the-grind-reader-survey
Q: Lipstick or chapstick?
A: If you’re asking which type of lesbian I am, chapstick. If you’re asking which one I prefer on my lips…chapstick.
Q: Favorite concert you’ve ever been to?
A: Blue Man Group! Although, I will say that I went to Taylor Swift’s Reputation tour back in August with my wife who is obsessed with her, and although I’m not crazy about her music, I’ll admit that the girl can perform. I thought I was going to hate it, but I actually really enjoyed it.
Q: Is there a specific place that you write?
A: Most of the time I just write at my house - either at the table or sometimes on the couch in my living room, but occasionally I like to go to the Barnes & Noble at the mall close to us and write there. My wife and I will go together and we’ll just sit at the same table – me writing and her reading a book – while we occasionally steal glances at each other and kick each other’s feet. It’s pretty great.
Q: What superpower would you choose and why?
A: Shapeshifting, because I genuinely want to know what it’s like to walk through life as other people, more specifically as a man 🤔
Q: Windows or Mac?
A: Mac. I have nothing against Windows, but everything I use is Apple and I’m used to it.
Q: What’s a fun fact about you?
A: I’m deaf in my right ear and wear a hearing aid, due to having had a lot of ear infections as a kid. Bonus round: I started wearing glasses at age of 2, but stopped needing them at 16 because my eye doctor said that my glasses corrected my vision and I didn’t need to wear them anymore, so now I’m glasses-free! 🤓 (<-- not me)
Q: Favorite lesbian YouTuber?
A: Rose and Rosie! They’re hilarious, and honestly remind me of my wife and myself.
Q: Describe yourself in three words.
A: Where’s my wallet? (Always using it, always losing it…)
Q: What was the #1 song on the radio the day you were born?
A: *searches song* Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot 😂 Classic.
Q: What languages do you speak?
A: English and some Spanish. I can understand Spanish better than I can properly speak it. My wife is fluent in both, but her first language is Spanish, so I’m exposed to it often.
Q: Are you a DomKat fan?
A: I love them! I genuinely enjoy watching their interviews, including the ones with them as individuals (Just Dom or just Kat). I also enjoy listening to the podcasts they’ve been featured in, more specifically Tales Of The Black Badge. I don’t ship them as a couple like a lot of people think they secretly are, but I love their friendship. You can tell they genuinely enjoy each other’s company, which in turn shows through their WayHaught scenes on screen. I love both of them, but I’m a bigger fan of Dominique. She’s just so adorable!
Q: Do you have any celebrity crushes?
A: Dominique Provost-Chalkley 😍 But also, Emma Watson.
Q: What is your favorite season of Wynonna Earp?
A: I think season 2 is my favorite. I loved season 3, but I liked season 2 better. And season 1 was inevitably them trying to figure things out since they didn’t have any fans yet.
Q: What’s your least favorite thing about Wynonna Earp?
A: The violence. They’ve toned it down a bit, which is good, but it was a little too much in the first season, which made it kind of difficult for me to watch. I’m not a huge fan of violence 🙅🏻
Q: Do you have any other lesbian ships that you like?
A: Well, I’ve watched the supercuts of pretty much EVERY lesbian ship out there, but I am a big Hollstein (Laura and Carmilla) fan. Spashley (Spencer and Ashley) was the first teen lesbian ship I was exposed to, so that will obviously always hold a special place in my heart. I loved Sanvers (Alex and Maggie), but since it ended I kind of lost interest in that ship. Big Calzona (Callie and Arizona) fan, and am super sad they’re no longer on the show. And I’m currently getting hooked on Avalance (Ava and Sara) now that we’ve just finished season 3 of Legends of Tomorrow. Basically, I’m very gay…
Q: Do you have any fanfic recommendations?
A: “From Afar” – Avrilsky. I know it’s popular, but I really enjoyed that one. Also, “How do I wrap my heart up for Christmas” by breezered is short, but sweet.
Someone asked for me to tell my coming out story, and I’m going to make a separate post about that one tomorrow where I’ll share my story. So if you’re the person who asked me that, don’t worry, your question was not ignored and I will answer it!
Thank you to all who sent me questions! ❤️
#author q&a#ao3 author#fanfiction author#fanfic#wayhaught#wayhaught fanfiction#odaatlover#get to know me#about me
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in its time interview
how would you describe this comeback?
“in its time is about the passage of time and how it affects, or doesn’t affect, our emotions. when you’re in pain, sometimes it can feel as if the same painful minute is happening over and over again, rather than time continuing on to a new day. it’s sad, it’s bittersweet, but time isn’t malicious. it’s a neutral party we can find ourselves stuck in.”
how are you feeling about this comeback?
“as always, i continue to be proud of our members. they each work dutifully to prepare our releases, which makes me feel more confident in them once they do come out. our promotion schedule isn’t as packed as it usually is for this comeback, so we’ve had to rely on the members all the more to put on an intriguing performance, and i believe they’ve done a great job.”
what is your favorite part about this comeback?
“the final product of the music video is quite beautiful, in my opinion. the crew that worked on it did a lot in order to create the dreamy atmosphere we ended up with. i don’t think it’s something i could have come up with myself.”
what is a memorable story from preparations for this comeback?
“this is the first quantum title track i’ve been lucky enough to be part of the songwriting process for. i’d submitted my part of what became hide and seek, and when it was chosen, i was asked to join the songwriting team for the title track. i was so shocked in that moment that i was afraid i’d passed out without knowing.”
what was the process like songwriting for the title and b-side tracks?
“in my free time, i’m very often writing songs, and i store them all on my computer at home to submit now and again. hide and seek was one of those that i’d written without particular purpose in mind, only as a piece of music i liked. writing for the title was a completely different experience in that way. we wrote as a team and bounced our ideas back and forth until we came to the end product. i’m quite proud of both of them, and hope our wave like them, too.”
you’ve also taken part in the choreography for the title track, what was that process like?
“when i was younger, i wouldn’t have thought choreography would be an area i’d partake in, but being fortunate enough to have these opportunities for quantum has shown me a joy in my life that was new for the time. it always gets my creative juices flowing, sometimes more than songwriting, because i have to specifically think of the members and how best we can work together as a team. but, they’re really great teammates, so it’s never that difficult.”
do you have any specific hopes for this comeback?
“i hope that our wave enjoy this comeback, and wait for us until we’re able to give them a longer album. you inspire us to keep going.”
what is your favorite song on the album?
“ah, that’s quite difficult when there are only two releases, isn’t it? i don’t know if i would be able to choose. they’re both songs that very much fit my tastes.”
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Day with RM
Hello! Oof I had the Namjoon, Yoongi and Taehyung parts of my Day W/ BTs series just chilling in my wips and were all unfinished. I decided to go with Namjoon’s since I had almost finished it so here it is! Happy reading! ♡
✿ BTS RM x Gender Neutral Reader ✿ Fluff ✿ 1.9k words ✿ Not requested ✿ Written by Chii
I made that divider only for this blog's use so please don’t take it or use in your own posts, thank you .- Chii
You woke up early and arrived at the bus station where Namjoon would pick you up from. You fiddled with the phone in your hands and waited for his call. While waiting, you wanted to go to get a cup of coffee or tea so you started to walk to a nearby Café. Either it was coffee or tea, you’d decide on the way there. You entered the store to find the very person you were waiting for, the bells on the door caused the customers to look at you except for Namjoon who was ordering currently. You made your way behind him unnoticed and gave him a tap on his shoulder. He whipped his head to the right while you were on his left. He turned his head around and caught sight of you.
“Oh! Why are you here? I wanted to get some drinks for us before I picked you up,” Namjoon said as he put away his wallet.
“I got tired of waiting and wanted to grab a drink too.” You peered up to the blackboard menu behind the counter.
“Well, I ordered your usual and a drink for myself so I think we’re all set.” You nodded at him and he gave you a smile that showed off his dimples. You two waited for the drinks and talked while you did so. The drinks came out in a few minutes and the both of you began to walk to the building. It was a chilly afternoon so he wore a long black coat that made him look like every other Kim Daily photo he posted on Twitter. You two came to the entrance of the building and Namjoon scanned in, telling the security guard that you were with him. The man in uniform nodded and let you two through. You hadn’t seen the new company building since they had moved, though it had been a while since you’ve seen Namjoon at all. Since their hard work paid off, they’ve had less leisure time to themselves. He pulled out a silver key and unlocked the door, letting you walk in first.
The sudden burst of cold air made you shiver under the coat you wore, “Why is it so cold in your studio?”
“It gets my creative juices flowing, I can change the temperature if you’d like.”
“Please?” You sat on the small black couch in the enclosed space and looked around. His studio looked so much bigger compared to the last one they had. Small things littered the shelves and his desk, a pair of a studio headset on top of a notebook was the few of many. The trash bin under the desk filled with balled up pieces of paper which you assumed was lyrics. He sat down in his chair after he turned changed the temperature. You felt the room get warmer and took off your coat, leaving it next to you as you drank you drink.
“So, RM, what have you been up to?” You said his new stage name to poke at him a bit.
“Wow, I can’t believe you’re calling me that,” he laughed deeply.
“I’ve been good. We’re working on the new album and I’ve been assigned to do some sub vocals for the title track.”
“Is everyone good? I heard Taehyung got a dog.”
“Ah yea but all Yeontan does is bark, he’s super small. I almost stepped on him once when he fell asleep on the middle of the floor!” You choked on your drink when he started to get loud.
“You okay?” He got a tissue from the box, expecting him to give it to you. He wiped your chin and threw the tissue away.
“I’m fine.” You looked away and took a sip of your drink to avoid his eyes.“Do you want to listen to what I have so far of the new track?”
“Is that a question?” You raise an eyebrow at him, he gets up from his seat for you to sit down in. Taking the headset off the notebook, he gave it to you to put on. While doing so he opened up some files and looked through millions of names before he found the one he was looking for. The mix board opened up and he pressed play. He took the closest seat on the couch to you and watched your expression as you listened. You bobbed your head to the beat.
“The beat sounds nice! I like the tempo a lot.” You continued to listen, when the music got loud really quickly, you heard his voice overlaying it. His rap ended off and the song went back to its original middle speed tempo.
“The song shift is really good, it was totally unexpected!” He smiled as your eyes sparkled in amazement.
“I have some more if you want to listen.”
“Lay it on me!” You always loved his demo songs so you got upset when they didn’t get added into the albums they released. Six songs and a million compliments later Namjoon got up from his seat. He paused the tracklist once the song you were listening to finished.
“I think I’m sick of looking at my mix boards,” he laughed, you took off the headset and looked at him.
“Want to grab some lunch?” Namjoon looked at his phone for the time.
“Why not?” You shrugged, throwing away your now empty cup into the bin and putting your jacket back on. You two left the room, he locked the door and started to take you down to the entrance once more.
“What are you feeling?”
“Anything, I didn’t realize that I didn’t eat breakfast.”
“I’ll take you to once of my favorite places then, it’s only around the corner.” he said as he shoved his hands into his coat pocket.
The bell on the door signaled the middle age lady in the back, waiting tables. This must have been the place that Namjoon talked about all the time, you thought. It was a small family owned restaurant, small chatter filled the space. She sat you two down and provided menus. Namjoon ordered for the two of you.
“Since when did you remember what I liked?”
“Since forever? Are you okay you sound kind of, how do the kids say,” he cocked his eyebrow as he sipped on his drink, “…salty.”
You felt Namjoons eyes on you in a slight judging manner, “kind of,” you said. You threw a straw wrapped at him and when it missed you rolled your eyes.
“And why is that?”
“Because we haven’t talked in six months.” Namjoon spoke and it made you look up. Had it really been half a year since the last time you two hung out? You thought about the last memory you had with Namjoon and he was right.
Just as you were about to say something, he spoke first, “oh, food is here!”
You two ate in a sort of uncomfortable but comfortable silence, his words from earlier stuck in your head. You felt like a bad friend in all honesty. You knew he was busy and didn’t want to bother him with hanging out, hell, he was the one who planned today.
You put down the fork you had in your hand and looked at Namjoon, “you know, I didn’t mean to not talk to you for six months.”
He did the same and smiled down at the table before looking at you, “I know you didn’t but I got kind of sad when you would post photos and enjoy time with your other friends.”
He paused for a bit and suddenly shouted, “WHICH IS OKAY I DON’T MEAN DON’T HANG OUT WITH THEM! I just missed you around.” You saw him duck his head with the other customers looking over to see who was yelling.
“I missed you too. I was just worried about bothering you while you’re so busy. I could see your dark circles past that concealer you put on yourself.” You laughed as you looked at the skin under his eyes, his hands shot up to cover them and looked back at you.
“Does it look that bad?” He said, you pushed his hands away and started to pat at the skin with your finger.
“You should have blended it, even I know that, you can’t fool me! I’ve known you for too long to not notice.” You finished a quick blending job and it looked better but the purplish color still showed through. You wiped your finger off on a napkin. Namjoon kept his eyes on you the whole time.
“What?” You laughed, the mood was a lot less tense and happier in a way.
“I missed you a lot Y/N.”
“I did too Namjoon.” You two smiled and continued eating.
After you two finished, you sneakily paid for it while going to the bathroom.
“I was going to pay.” He said with a disapproving face.
“You already bought me coffee, the least I can do is pay for this. You can pay for dessert.” Namjoon nodded as you two entered a small bakery, the smell of freshly baked bread filled the store.
“I’ll take this, two of those and half a dozen of the crème puffs.” Said Namjoon as he pointed to the items behind the glass. The person behind the counter nodded, she asked if it was to stay or to go. You turned to find a seat but none were available.
“Do you want to walk back to the building?” You suggested. He nodded and walked to the cash register to pay. Once he did you two thanked the workers and made way to the building once more.
Once you entered his studio once more, setting down the sweets on the coffee table in the studio. Namjoon opened the bag and took out it’s contents while you took off your jacket once more.
“I’ve heard these are pretty good.” You turned to Namjoon who held a crème puff to your lips. You opened them slightly for him to push it through.
“Woah! These are amazing!” Your eyes widened.
“You can feel free to eat, I think I’m going into a food coma.” Namjoon laughed lazily as he sat on his computer chair once again.
“Oh, come on! You could eat a bit more! Are you really about to sleep when we had that conversation during lunch?”
“I suppose you’re right.” He swiveled his chair around for you to hold a crème puff to his face like he did with you before. You spend that afternoon eating the sweets, occasionally helping him with one of his work and giving your opinion into it.
Night came quicker than you imagined and it was time to go once you saw the time on your phone. Namjoon offered to walk to you to the stop and wait with you. You nodded and started to walk out of the building.
“I really can’t believe we barely left the building except for lunch.” Namjoon said, you looked up at him, the moon shone brightly behind him.
“There’s always next time.” You said as you put your hands in your pockets.
“I’ll make sure to ask for vacation days more often, promise.” He held out his pinky for you to hook onto.
You did the same and crossed your pinkies together, “and I’ll text you everyday, promise.” With that being said , your bus came on time and you bid Namjoon goodbye until next time.
I rushed the ending but hear me out bc it would have been past 2k words if I didn’t LOL idk if some people like shorter scenarios or not but I try to cap my Day With series at like 1.5k words! I hope you all liked it and feel free to check the always updating masterlist out until then!
Please don’t claim this as your own and please don’t do anything with it without my permission. If you don’t want it happening to you, don’t do it to others.
#day with bts series#bts scenarios#bts#bts fluff#bts imagines#bangtan scenarios#bangtan imagines#bangtan fluff#namjoon x reader#rm x reader#namjoon scenarios#rm scenarios#namjon imagines#rm imagines#namjoon fluff#rm fluff#chii
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It’s almost 4am, I can’t sleep because of Reasons, and my brain isn’t functioning enough to be productive, so I’m just gonna fill out this writing meme. So, yeah, if you’re interested in some very long, self-indulgent writing babble, keep reading, and if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry the cut doesn’t work.
1. What are your favourite genres and/or styles to write in?
Contemporary lit has always been my thing. I was never really into reading or writing much action/adventure or fantasy, which is weird because I was very into shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and LOST - but, I was mostly into those shows for the very rich character dynamics and developments, so. Anyway, Sanctuary is the first thing I’ve written in my life that isn’t in the contemporary, real-world genre and I’m doing okay with it, but I do sometimes get a little paranoid that it’s too character focused with not enough action/comic-genre stuff going on. This is really stepping outside of the box for me, to be honest.
(I just remembered that I did write some Batman fanfic when I was maybe 16 or so, but I’m not sure it counts bc it was terrible and I pretty much just wrote a Buffy-esque character to be Batman’s sappy love interest. God, how embarrassing.)
2. What was the last writing project you finished and felt successful with?
Okay, so, when I was finishing grad school, I had to complete a “publishable” thesis project and mine is/was this collection of linked short stories that I spent probably a good year and a half (including my thesis semester) working on. Technically, I did finish it enough that it passed the graduation requirements, and I have been chipping away at it on and off since then, but after I graduated, I just ... stopped writing, in general. Depression and real life are a shitty combination for writers with very little internal motivation. But, despite that, this collection holds a very dear place in my heart. There are seven stories total, all young adult, coming-of-age themed, and they’re linked by character in that they all take place in a small town and the characters from each story sort of know each other in passing, as happens in a small town. There’s room for ten stories, because it’s a nice, even number. I love all of the characters and I think it could be something really great and could be published successfully - just, it needs a lot more work to get to that point. Eventually it will. Anyway, yes, that’s my last “finished” writing project and I do feel a modicum of success toward it, for what it’s worth.
3. If you have a WiP how do you feel it’s going? What stage are you in?
I am actually 85% pleased with how Sanctuary is going. I started writing the fic without any real idea of what I wanted to do with it or where it would go - I was just having a lot of Loki feels during a difficult time in my life. Prior to this, I would handle my Character Feels by indulging in a lot of watches and re-watches and occasionally making music videos and sometimes fan art (graphics, I can’t draw for shit), but these methods just weren’t cutting it this time ... and hence, fic was born.
It’s not a perfect story, of course - there are some inconsistencies and errors and the writing can always be more polished, but I’m just happy that I’ve stuck with it for this long and allowed it to develop the way that it has. I’m able to flex my writing muscles and get back into the practice of it while having fun at the same time. The story is four chapters away from completion, but I have plans for a sequel and also a couple of one-shots from Thor’s POV that I want to play around with. Overall, I’m pretty pleased with where I am in my little fic-verse right now.
When it comes to original fiction, aside from the aforementioned short story collection, I am in the plotting stages of a novel involving reincarnation, because I am tropey trash, but it has potential. So, there’s that.
4. What are your favourite places to write?
I actually feel like I write more productively when I am away from my apartment, which is a conundrum because I pretty much only leave my apartment to go to work or, like, the grocery store. I have a job that allows me to be at a computer for most of the day, so when I’m not busy, I like to write at work. I weirdly feel more productive and clear-headed at desktop computers, but I don’t have one of my own, so when I’m not at work or at the library, I write on my laptop in places like Barnes and Noble or laying in bed like a lazy bum. I do have a desk at home, but it is woefully neglected, I’m sad to say.
5. Do you prefer to write with long hand or type? Or some other method?
9 times out of 10, I type. However, when I am struggling particularly hard with writer’s block, I’ll write long hand because, for whatever reason, switching methods jolts my brain a little bit and gets the juices flowing again. I wrote the entirety of the Kree battle and Val/Loki in the infirmary (I forget what chapter that was) long hand, among other scenes.
6. Do you remember your first character? If so can we meet them?
My childhood is filled to the brim with embarrassing fiction. I don’t remember my first character, to be honest - I remember being in fourth grade and writing some kind of story for Young Author’s Day at school, and that’s the first thing I remember even writing, but I couldn’t tell you what the story was or who the characters were to save my life. When I was in sixth grade, I discovered S.E. Hinton’s books, and from that point on, I spiraled down into the genre of coming-of-age, tortured, sad protagonists (God, Ponyboy Curtis was my first spirit animal, talk about tragic) and I’ve never quite looked back.
7. Where do you get your inspiration?
Where don’t I get my inspiration, would be a better question. Music is a big inspiration - sometimes I’ll hear a lyric that I want to put to a story, or a song will have a storyline that I like and that’ll get the creative juices flowing. I do get some inspiration from real life, but I shy away from writing anything too closely related to my own life - things that I pull from my life are incredibly fictionalized, but the roots are sometimes there, if that makes sense. Movies and TV shows, of course, especially with character types that I’m drawn to. Other people’s literature is a big inspiration, too. Idk, I think inspiration just comes from everywhere. Everyone and everything has a story that can be told.
8. Do you outline a story before writing it, or does it all live in your head until the first draft gets put down?
I’m kind of 75/25 on this - 75% lives in my head and 25% is outlined, but the outline is always kind of a loose guideline that may end up completely changing by the time the words are actually on the page. I mostly use outlines to put things down tangibly when they get too cluttered in my head and I start confusing myself. I also use outlines to keep track of plot threads, to try to keep things consistent. For Sanctuary, my outline is a mixture of what I want to accomplish in each chapter and an extensive notes section on various canon I’m using, so that I can keep things straight.
9. Where do you go/ What do you do when you’re feeling stuck?
Writing long-hand is a thing I already talked about. Other things I find helpful: going for a long drive to just sort of let myself zone out and think about the story without the pressure of sitting at the computer, listening to music ... sometimes I just put the story away completely and let it sit while I do/focus on other things, and I come back to it refreshed and ready to try again.
10. What got you starting writing/doing Art? (Because I always love origin stories)
I don’t know - writing has just always been a part of who I am. The urge to write was something that came very naturally to me. I’m sure being a voracious reader was part of it, too - I grew up reading books like there was no tomorrow, and I was a very introverted, shy child, so I read more than I talked to people, and that just sort of naturally translated into writing stories of my own. I’ve never been a people-person in that I don’t like interacting with people much (in real life, anyway) but I like to examine and think about how people work, and it’s a strange thing but so it goes. But yeah - there’s no real “origin story” with me, just a long history of being a reclusive nerd.
I guess this is a tagging meme but I wasn’t tagged, so if anyone out there wants to do it, feel free, I’d love to read other people’s responses if you feel like sharing them. :)
#sorry for the babbling#and any mistakes#it's very late/early#i'm just kind of stream-of-consciousness-ing#charlotte writes#the real life of charlotte lennox#writing meme#writing#fiction#fanfic
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♔ ROMAN SANDERS ↬ POSITIVITY
“he was the royal heart of gold.”
A Prince’s Royal Declaration.
I can’t do it. I can’t be what I want to be.
My Lady, Lord, or Non-Binary Royal, that simply isn’t true. I know I live in a world where castles cascade the mountains and knights defend every person. I know that, in your land, it may be as if though you are shackled. It’s like someone has put a curse on you - perhaps that annoying Dragon Witch. But, have no fear!
Every curse has a magic spell to remove such. And in your land, every negative thought can be fixed with a positive one. The ideas that exist in your land is love, passion, loyalty, and trust. These things are more powerful than any magic my kingdom has.
At times, you may think that you lack those very things. It might seem like nobody loves you, that everyone will betray you, and that you’ll never go anywhere- but my dear royal, never believe in those lies!
I will fight with every fiber of my being, every day and every night, against those lies. Even if that Dragon Witch is against me, I will fight, so if to make you happy, so if to make you see the truth.
My grandeur lover… you are everything and more.
You can climb those castles of happiness, fight those beasts of might. You can power through the depths of the night, to finish that quest you’ve been attended. You can romance your way with your special words or actions. You can gain those companionships and that friendship circle of trust. You can make wonderful works of art - of literature, of editing, of speaking, of being. You can do anything, my charming noble.
Don’t ever let anyone shackle your Creativity.
I am here to help you, my love.
You are always free.
A Prince’s Noble Tips.
What can I do about it?
So glad you asked, you dashing looking royal! Whenever you feel as though you cannot make it, I have asked the greatest of scribes to write down the most helpful tips and tools!
[Writer’s/Artist’s/Editor’s] Block
Oh, I have heard of this monstrosity! Thomas gets it all the time, but nothing to fear! Here are a few tips about what to do!
⭑A Musical Never Hurt Anyone!
⭒ Ah, I love singing~! But, I have found that singing does help those juices get flowing! What we don’t think, we speak - And singing lets you put so much emotion into it. What do you sing? Well, anything! Perhaps a song about overcoming an obstacle? Just sing, and soon you’ll find lyrics coming out into a full-fledged story/art/edit!
⭑My Kingdom~!
⭒ Get a fellow royal to discuss your idea or anything with! Even if your idea is as simple as, ‘I want Roman to get the princess,’ your friends will often ask questions! Like, ‘Where is the Princess?’ ‘Who is the Princess?’ ‘What is Roman wearing?’ ‘Make sure it’s a good outfit, because a prince has got to slay~!!’
⭒ Live in a secluded forest or a far village? No worries, you can always come to me with your ideas~!
⭑BURN BABY BURN!
⭒I absolutely love candles! While ours are lit by magical dragon-breath, you can have yours with simple fire! When I smell something miraculous, I often times come up with fascinating ideas! A vanilla cupcake candle? Ooh, what if I did a baking competition with Logan? [Of course, I’d win, but the thought is still out there!] Don’t like the smell of seashells? Then write an epic about travel over the sea, or draw someone terrified about it! Perhaps a young boy’s father is a sailor, and the boy tries to overcome his fear of the sea? That would be miraculous to see/read!
⭑Storytime!
⭒ Ooh, I love this one! The historian of my kingdom always throws a fit whenever I arrive, but hang with me! Remember that boring old hike in the forest? Well, let’s stretch the honest truth a bit more! That boring old hike was interrupted by you spotting a mysterious footprint in the ground. And then- HUZZAH, A DRAGON WITCH! Hi-Ya, Hi-Ya, TAKE THAT YOU IMBECILE! There’s more sword where that came from- ...oops, I got a bit into character there. Take a memory and make a story/art/edit from it! Change everything, but use what you have!
⭑The Curse Hasn’t Lifted?
⭒ Have no fear! If you ever need something to kick in for your absolutely beautiful creativity, come to me! I had a scribe write down so many ideas, and I wouldn’t be opposed to handing them out to you loveable and loyal royal!
A Beast’s Insults
Ah… yes, I’ve had my own fair share of beats and monsters yelling out insults left and right. Yet, none of those sting as much as my villagers of the kingdom insulting me behind my back. It hurts, more than it should… But a Prince can’t be brought down by measly insults! Which is why I’ve gotten a long list of quests you can attempt to lower that anxiety! (…Not Virgil, but your own anxiety)
⭑Allergies Are Horrible, But Nature Is Not
⭒When I find myself torn apart by an insult, a quick walk in the deep Fairy Forests often allow me to realize their insults hold no power of me. Perhaps its the fairy dust or magic spells lying around the forest… But while you might be a bit far from the Fairy Forest, any old woods would help. The tranquility of just nature really is one to calm the nerves!
⭑The Royal Parliament Decrees…
⭒Often times, even the wonderful wilderness of my Kingdom fail to help me. That’s when I leave the beautiful land I have and go back to the Mindscape. There I have all the friends I could ever want. Logan’s objective words ease my mind, Patton’s hugs help my heart, and Virgil calms me down with techniques. Sometimes, all someone needs is to be listened to. Talking with someone or your fellow royals can especially help!
⭑Epic Fail Compilations Of All My Enemies!
⭒Oh, I do love the techno nymphs that create all these fascinating machines! Whenever I feel down, they usually recommend me a video or two. Ones that include fail compilations or some cute cat videos, they never cease to make me happy once more! The insults soon fade away when I see there’s so much more happiness in this beautiful land!
⭑Still Being Attacked By The Ogres of Procrast Nation?
⭒ No fear! You are beautiful and amazing, in both personality and looks, my dear royal. You have always been such a constant support of my own world, and it is my time to send my support to you! All those insults are lies, my love. Do not believe in them - For I have now declared them false~!
A Prince’s Parting Letter.
I don’t think any of what you said is true… I’m horrible at everything.
You may be at a time in your glorious story where you are facing some conflicts. Every exciting story has one, but for the main character, it’s often times a whole sequence of agony. Yet, don’t fall into despair! There is a reason that “And they lived happily ever after,” exists!
Your story is one of greatness, and that means there will be a happy ending. While it may not appear to you in your magic mirror in this moment, I have heard from several known witches that happiness will come to you!
If you are alone, I will gather my friends around you. If you are in despair, I will be there to fight off those demons. If you are just sad… I will save you from the evil Dragon Witch’s curse!
Remember… villains will always strike you down.
But stand back up, and strike them harder.
And if you need a helping hand in your quest….
I will be at your side.
Your Lovely Prince,
[royal subjects (like this post to join!!): @leesacrakon @fairy-cat-friend @awesomelissawho @lamp-calm-sanders @thisimmortalnerd @ssides @monkeygirl2455 @lukeisfluffy @pirate-patton @preyed-llama @longlivethecarcrashstars @undertale-trash217 @thepusheenqueen @importantrunawaystudentstuff @adreamoverlife @powerfulwoman03 @thetrashyloser @random-sanders @thegeekgirl42 @consultinghuntertimelady @patton--here @frisk-is-flowerfallen @musicphanpie-b @cecilia-blaze @phantomstudies @doctorwhitttaker @morticiaadams1 @bookworm411 @violetflowerprincess @galacticallynonbinary @super-writer-gal @purplepatton @cinnamonrollpatton @amazable01 @sanders-sides-enthusiast @pinkglitterandbruises @neetrash @magicalwolfgirllupus @spookyghostio @getlostinthedark @vathpro @preciousbeaan @fander-phangirl @half-blood-geek @litplants @flowerbubb @virgillikespurple @just-someone-in-flannel @rosetylerx10doctor @dudlebuggs @simplelittlestar @stevie-is-a-nerd @mythicalquill @pumakittycat @pattoncakesvirgil @de-is-me @the-baddest-bitch-in-slytherin ]
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2017 Fic Year in Review
2017 in fic! I still have to get used to this looking so different to how it looked from like, 2007 to 2015. I also did a lot of like...weird not!quite!fic things? Which I’m counting in my word count, just because I did put thought into them? But I’m not sure if I should? I don’t know. Anyway, I’ve had two glasses of champagne and a glass of red wine, so WHATEVER. Hamilton: Ghosthunters full-length fic Birthday Shots (2069) Commercialism, Merit Badges, and Liquid Courage (8179) Communicable (24382) Well Deserved Recognition (3738) Truth or Dare, Jungle Juice, and a Linen Closet (8532) Q&A Saturday - June 6, 2015 (1120) everyone must breathe until their dying breath (116,690*)
Ghosthunters ficlets: Mattie and Alex texting (1708) John and Francis at boarding school (794) Washington after the air grows cold around me and you (423) August 14 (573) Molly and the haunted chair (1159) Laf's sad Christmas (1656) John on the phone with his dad (1543) John's PoV on Alex's birthday body shots (1606) Alex and John's tattoo (2326) John at the beginning of but i won't go far away (1032) John draws Alex (1888) John is reckless (2036) John explains his tattoo (1307) John and Alex eat poptarts in bed (1924) Jo and Mattie, Jo realizes she's in love (715) John's birthday and turtles (1275)
Ghosthunters apocrypha: John's in the hospital (840) The Schuyler-Hamilton-Laurenses get a dog (332) July 12 (1634) August 27 (1535) November 24 (4020)
Three sentence ficlets: Herc and breakfast (129) Angelica leaving for London (canon fic) (133) John falling in love (102) Alex and art (119) Ghosthunters + tetanus shots (161) Eliza, first day of summer (113) Laf meeting George and Martha for the first time (180) John, first kiss with a boy (165) Burr, drunk and alone (172) John and Francis, getting together (164)
Ghosthunters Not!Fic: John and Mattie, fake dating (2563)
Non-Ghosthunters Hamilton fic: John and Alex share a bed on a roadtrip (2396) Supplemental not!fic to the above (2497) Alex and John on the dance floor with a surprise slow song (2038) Alex and John, almost drowning (3076) Supplement to the above (2335)
Not!Fic: John and his ghost boyfriend (4555) John and Alex, "summer in the city" roommates for a summer internship AU (1491) John and Alex, "may we meet again" teen besties meet again as adults and fall in love AU (2347) Hamilton noir AU, "we get the job done" (1522) Alex and John, "the world turned upside down" BFFs -> lovers AU (6161) Fem4Ham, "helpless" soulmate AU (6613)
Gravity Falls: Mabel, first crush on a girl (118)
Great Comet Not!Fic: Sonya, No One is Alone (756)
MCU: Sam and Steve and trick-or-treaters (467)
Grand Total Fandoms: 4 Total Full Length Fic: 7 Total Ficlets: 46 Grand Total Stories: 53 Grand Total Word Count: 235,409*
* I'm including all the words of the ghosthunters summer story that I’ve written so far, even the ones that haven’t been posted.
Overall Thoughts: Man, this list looks so long, but it’s still so far off the mark that I had intended to hit.
This was a hard year, creatively. It was for everyone, I think, but after having a really great upswing in 2016 when my meds had leveled out, it felt particularly dire to me, even though I knew I wasn’t alone. It’s hard to absorb that sometimes, you know?
I’m disappointed I didn’t finish this summer story before the end of the year. I was making very good time this summer and cranked out like 60k words on a really good schedule. I took a break for DragonCon and the associated scrambling and packing, and then never got back on the horse. It’s one of those things where I can’t tell if it was self-discipline or brain stuff or exhaustion, but I’m mad at myself all the same, cause I’m like that. I’ve still got another 30k to write and I’m going to try to get back on a schedule and stick to it to push out these last couple scenes, but I still keep kicking myself about the whole thing.
A lot of it comes back to something I was talking about in last year’s round up, which is not having, essentially, @pearlo in this fandom. I spent like, five years sending Erica a constant stream of fic ideas and dialogue snippets and talking out every fic idea and texting her in the middle of the night with AUs and all sorts of other shit and it’s a hard transition to not having that built in. It was how I worked out a lot of issues and also expressed a lot of joy. It feels a little like screaming into a void on here, at times, and while you’re all lovely and I appreciate all your encouragement and feedback, talking about your own work all the time occasionally makes one feel like an egomaniac. So...that’s a thing.
On to more positive things! I really liked doing those sort of not!fic things--it got some of my creative juices flowing when I was blocked on ghosthunters and scratched the itch of starting a zillion stories that I had great ideas for but no time to actually follow to the finish line. Doing ficlet memes and stuff, too, felt really good, taking requests and such. Holding in-person writing dates was super helpful, and having @lisapizza around to occasionally badger into hanging out with me so I could talk about this shit.
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? I definitely expected to finish more, but numberwise and contentwise. I probably shouldn’t be surprised that I got much less done than I intended, given how weird the whole year has been, but I’m still kind of bummed. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Hmmmmm....I don’t know that there’s anything that I wouldn’t have predicted? Everything is pretty on par with what I’ve been doing for the past couple years? What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? I loved a lot of the stories I wrote this year, because I'm super obsessed with myself. [[< -- I think I've kept that sentence in for the past few years because it remains true]] It’s hard to name anything other than everyone must breathe until their dying breath. I’ve been working on it for two years, on and off, and it was one of the first bits of character building I did as I started to create the verse. There are a lot of wonderful little character moments in it and a lot of parts I really just genuinely enjoyed writing.
Communicable was also something I was working on for a while, and there are so many lovely quiet moments. @the-everqueen actually pulled out my favorite bit of that story for commentary--that whole night they spend together at the Washingtons’ and John’s conversation with Martha the next morning were a joy to write.
Outside of the ghosthunters, the #fem4ham soulmate AU has eaten my brain and soul, and the ficlet about John and Alex sharing a bed really made me wish I had a million extra hours in the day to write about that universe’s John and his struggles. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Not any huge ones? I think my biggest “risk” is the same mistake I make over and over again--feeling pressured to give people an ETA on the next story and then....totally missing that deadline. I’ve gotta stop doing that, for serious. My best story of this year: Definitely everyone must breathe until their dying breath. There are a LOT of moving parts on that thing that are still only slowly unfurling. I wish I had finished the whole thing in 2017 /o\ My most popular story of this year: Okay, see, chaptered stories totally throw off AO3 stats. Hit counts, kudos count, comment count...all of that is inflated by repeatedly pushing those fics to the top of the tags and having people come back for each chapter and all of that. Also, timing? The stuff that was up in January obviously has more hits than the stuff that only just came up in December.
That being said, I think everyone must breathe is probably my most popular fic, but who really knows? Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I wouldn’t say any of the full-length fics are under-appreciated, but I’m so obsessed with the #fem4ham that I sometimes forget that it has less than thirty notes and no one but @lisapizza (and @charmingpplincardigans, based on her comments today at brunch) really cared about it when I posted it XD
Most fun story to write: I wrote Birthday Shots in one sitting and it was the kind of doofy, dialogue-based stuff that’s always pretty fun to play around with. I also liked the ghosthunters apocrypha with John being loopy on anesthesia, which I wrote entirely on the plane to Heroes. John’s ghost boyfriend not!fic was also the first of those that I did and it was pretty fun! Story with the single sexiest moment: Deffo the sex in the woods in VII of everyone must breathe until their dying breath. Story with the single sweetest moment: Hm. There’s a lot of sweet, that’s kind of my whole deal. I think maybe the first house-sitting scene or the train ride after seeing Ned in everyone must breathe until their dying breath. Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: Nothing really. Nothing cracky for me this year. Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: The sharing a bed story and its backstory supplement were probably the things that had characterizations most different from the ghosthunters. It was a very different world to pick apart as I was thinking those through. Hardest story to write: Seeing as how I’m STILL WRITING everyone must breathe until their dying breath it is DEFINITELY THAT ONE Biggest Disappointment: Just that I didn't finish more, I think. Biggest Surprise: That dumb bedsharing ficlet has over a hundred notes on tumblr. What the hell. I mean, I’m glad, but also surprised! Otherwise, I’m honestly just surprised you guys have stuck with me this long and been so incredibly patient 💜 Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Everything with Molly in everyone must breathe until their dying breath, for reasons that I’m foolishly hoping end up being moot, but realistically suspect are not going to come to fruition. Plans for the next year: Goals for 2018! 300,000 words! Getting through two more anchor stories! Writing a non-ghosthunters Ham!fic! Work on my dumb novel! Maybe try some nonfiction stuff! I don’t know, just try to be more flexible and kinder to myself, but also get things done? God, who knows, the world is on fire.
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24-hour Tech Break: Reflections and Realizations from a Screenless Day
For 24-hours this weekend, I joined up with Imaginarium and took a tech break. Starting at 6pm on Friday and going until 6pm on Saturday, I turned my phone off – not “do not disturb” or airplane mode, but just completely off. I closed my computer and iPad as well and zipped them up in my workbag and put them in my closet, out of sight and relatively out of mind. During my time away from screenland, I had a few realizations that I want to share.
Before that, I do want to acknowledge one thing.
I understand that people have actual hardships in life, and that taking a 24-hour tech break is not one of them. And I know a 24-hour tech break sounds like something that would be recognized at the Millennial’s Choice Awards.
“Oh my god, is that the guy that did the 24-hour tech break?” “Wow, I can’t believe it’s him!” “I thought he died at hour 13.” “No, the doctors actually rushed in and were able to resuscitate him after the 24th. That’s why he’s the guest of honor at this year’s MCA’s.”
Anyway, you get the point. But here’s what I learned.
Silence is Golden (for real)
I didn’t realize how much of the day my attention and thoughts were being guided by noise. My typical daily routine consists of nonstop noise.
When I wake up I put in headphones first thing and listen to a podcast while I make coffee and breakfast, then I take out the headphones to write my morning journal of three pages by hand, then the headphones go back in and I clean up breakfast. Next up I swap out headphones for Spotify to play on my phone while I shower and get ready for the day, then I go headphones again and get my stuff together to head out the door. As I get in my car, I switch from headphones to my car audio, so I’m either listening to music (SiriusXM Fly channel 47, 90′s-00’s hip-hop and r&b, to be precise), or I’m making calls. My workday then consists of either interviewing people, training, staff meetings, or doing in-home sales presentations, which is pretty much me talking 80% of the time, which is just more noise. During a lunch break, or anytime between appointments/meetings, I toss the headphones back in and pick back up on a podcast. Eventually I hop back in the car to head home, so it’s back to music or phone calls. When I get home, the headphones go back in as I cook dinner, and then they come out as I eat dinner while catching up on the previous night’s Late Night with Seth Meyers (and other shows) on my DVR. As that finishes, I’m mindlessly scrolling through social media, just refreshing stuff waiting for the next little dopamine hit that is a new post, story, article, etc. To end the day, I toss the headphones back in while I do dishes, I still have them on as I get ready for bed, and then I pop them out only to fall asleep to Netflix on my iPad that is a foot away from my face, which I then wake up to 30-minutes later to find it still playing, so I close the case and go back to sleep.
Whew. That looks WAY worse typed out. From the moment I get out of bed to when I fall asleep (for the second time), it’s just noise-noise-noise-noise-noise-noise-noise-noise, with zero breaks.
My first realization during the tech break was how vital the silence was. I needed it desperately. The silence revealed to me exactly how much noise I fill my day with.
I like to think of clarity of mind as a mirror that I’m looking into. Every bit of noise throughout the day adds a little fog to it. Podcasts – fog, phone calls – fog, texts – fog, every refresh of social media – fog (and fog and fog and fog and fog). These things aren’t inherently bad on their own, but my relationship (or addiction, really) to them is unhealthy, because I let them fog the mirror all day.
The silence, however, is the only thing that would clear the mirror. Each hour of silence during the tech break was a small wipe across the mirror, until finally the fog was gone, which happened maybe at hour 17. The more fog you put on the mirror, the longer it takes to clear it.
When the mirror finally cleared, I was reminded of who I am and what I want to do with my energies that particular day. My creative juices started to flow, I had three or four short story ideas come up, and I was able to look in the mirror and see what the next right thing to do was. When the mirror is foggy, I don’t have a chance at seeing the next right thing. I’ll get an idea, but then a Facebook notification will completely derail that train of thought. With a clear mirror, I was able to think through a story idea completely uninterrupted, even sketching out a quick outline so I could return to it later.
Silence is vital, and it brings clarity along with it. I don’t mean that you have to treat your tech break like a silent retreat – you can talk to anyone you’d like in person – but when I say silence I really mean just a break in the noise of screenland, whether the screen is making noise or not. The silence recharged my batteries.
Productivity
Without the constant interruptions of noise, I was able to accomplish more tasks in my 24-hour tech break than I had done in the first two months of the year. I always have a running list of things I’d like to get done around my house on a day off, but then stuff comes up and those things get pushed aside, or I’ll start one project and then come back the next weekend and try to finish it, usually leaving it 75% done.
Over the 24-hour tech break, I did laundry (sheets, towels, clothes), reorganized my bedroom, cleaned out my car, deep cleaned my entire house (not just dusting and cleaning the floors, but like the scrubbing the shelves of my fridge kind of deep cleaning), raked leaves, pulled weeds, trimmed all my hedges, bought new succulents for inside, moved everything off my front porch, swept the floor, wiped down the furniture, and then rearranged the layout of the porch, I read 50+ pages of a book, I wrote my three morning journal pages, wrote 50% of this post (by hand, of course), I cooked, and I got rid of (donated) two trash bags full of clothes I haven’t worn since I moved into this house in 2016.
All done in 24-hours, with ~8 of those hours spent sleeping.
I don’t mind a good day or two of cleaning and organizing because I would usually catch up on podcasts or listen to music while I did those things. But without any distractions from noise or screenland, I was able to accomplish each task in about 60% of the time they would normally take because I was solely focused on that particular task.
For example, if I have headphones in while trimming hedges, I’ll come across a song I don’t want to listen to on a playlist, so I’ll get my phone out of my pocket to change songs, but then I’ll see an Instagram notification, and when I open Instagram I’ll see some new stories pop up, then I’ll comment on a friend’s story, which will remind me to text another friend back about something else, and then 10-minutes go by and I’m standing on a ladder with hedge clippers in one hand and my phone in the other, all while my playlist is now 5 songs past the one I wanted to skip in the first place. When finally get back to work on the hedges, another song will come on that I don’t want to listen to, and the cycle starts over.
(Exhale) I told you my relationship to screenland was unhealthy.
Without my phone in my pocket, I was not only able to complete the tasks much quicker, but I was also able to do them better because they had my full attention. Instead of just buying new succulents and putting them in new pots, I cleaned out all of the old pots and mixed in new dirt for the succulents I already had. At the end of the day, I was tired, but it was that good kind of tired, where you’re proud of your work.
I was at my most productive when the mirror wasn’t fogged.
Constant Contact
Last point, so I’ll make it quick.
I was stunned at how many times I would think of something that would make me reach for my phone to text a friend. The smallest thought would pop in my head, and I’d reach for my pocket for a phone that wasn’t even there because my first instinct is, “Oh, I gotta text that person about that.” I do that ALL DAY, which puts me in constant contact with so many different people. The reaction to reach for my phone was Pavlovian like.
The shirt I wore yesterday was one I bought in Encinitas last year when I was visiting my friend Luke, and I thought, “Oh, I need to send him a picture of this shirt.” Later on I was getting my golf clubs out of my car and thought, “Oh, I need to see if my friend Patty wants to walk 9-holes tomorrow because the weather is so nice.” Then I found an old jacket from college that made me think, “Oh, I need to send a picture of this to my friends because it reminds me of this thing we did back in 2009.” This routine happened over and over and over and over.
Again, texting my friends isn’t a bad thing – in fact, it may be a nice pick me up for both of us in the process. But the quick reaction to reach for my phone anytime those thoughts popped in my head scared me. It was like I was desperate to be in constant contact with a bunch of people all day, and that constant contact is going to add more and more fog to the mirror, distracting me from writing, cleaning, reading, or whatever I want to spend my energies on. Plus, each time I open my phone to send one of those texts, I’m more likely to come across something else on that shiny, 5.5” screen that will take me down a different rabbit hole, which will, in the end, make me forget to send the original text.
The break from constant contact was incredibly calming.
If you read one part, let it be this
As the clock approached 6pm, I started to get a little sad. I wasn’t ready for the tech break to be over. I wasn’t ready to return to my old way of doing things. Texts, calls, social media, emails – I knew it would all come flooding back with the press of one button. Or even worse, what if no texts came flooding in? OR, what if only one text came in and it was from the pharmacy saying that my monthly prescription was ready for pickup? That wasn’t the case, but I digress…
I loved my time off of the grid, and quite frankly, I liked no-tech Jeremy a lot better than screenland Jeremy. It reminded me of being a kid, when I could jump from task to task, pursuing whatever interested me at the moment, free of anything buzzing or lighting up in my pocket, and solely focused on what was right in front of me at that exact moment in time. I got out of my own head. The mirror was clear.
A power shift had taken place – one I was dying for and didn’t even know it. For the first time in probably a decade, I owned my phone instead of my phone owning me.
So going forward, I’ll make some adjustments to my routine: I’m going to limit the amount of time headphones are in my ears, I’ll swap out Netflix for a book before I go to sleep (because I know I don’t need to watch all of The Office for the millionth time), I will leave my phone in a different room of my house when I want to get stuff done, and I’ll continue not checking social media before noon, which I’ve been doing for Lent this year.
If you’d like to try a 24-hour tech break, here are my suggestions:
1. Do it over a regular weekend at your house, because it’s easier to analyze your habits when you are in your typical routine. If you do it outside of your routine, then you’ll have other distractions to keep you away from technology in the first place, which won’t reveal your tech instincts enough. It’s best to have as little planned as possible.
2. Get someone else to do it that doesn’t live with you, because it’s a nice little encouragement to know other people out there are doing it as well.
3. Keep a notepad with you and write down your accomplishments every time you complete one. By the end of the day, you’ll be shocked at what all you’ve done.
I know one tech break isn’t a cure all, so I’m planning on doing this once a month for the rest of the year. In the meantime, I’ll be working hard to keep the mirror clear.
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