#sad little sinner in the mirror

[paintinganangel]

Genesis (Music Video) by RAYE

[serpentthecrow]

Sleepy time with the crows

the crows(separately) x reader🖤

Summary: just some fluffy headcannons with our favourite gangsters

Warnings : big fluff, cursing, plushies

A/n: wrote this instead of a Jesper confession fic that got deleted. I also included the plushies each of them have, so enjoy!

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Kaz:

One might assume there will not be much to say, it's not true however

If Kaz finds u trustworthy enough to even sleep in the same room with you, consider urself lucky af

Kaz doesn't really sleep much, just for a couple hours, it's assumably another trick of his, how he wakes up

When he ACTUALLY needs sleep, he drinks Camomile tea

I picture Kaz's bedside table is actually a stack of books, and there are several more stacks on the other side of the bed, so he reads quite often

He's genuinely scared to fall asleep due to his nightmares sometimes

After getting comfortable with you, he will slowly inch by inch move your beds closed to eachother everyday, until you notice

Whispers 'fuck u ' to the moon when it shines in his window

Just lays flat on his back and sleeps (how?)

Secretly has a crow plushie he got from Jesper under his bed

Jesper

The biggest cuddle bear ever

He will wrap you up with his arms and legs like a rope, and will not let go even under the use of a fucking crowbar

It's his routine to kiss his revolvers good-night before going to bed

Not before checking himself out in the mirror to look good and ready for a night intruder

REFUSES to buy a bit bigger bed, no matter if your savings could buy a bed that even majesty King Nikolai.*million titles*.. could hardly afford

The secret meaning is that Jes doesn't want you escaping from him to the other side of the big mattress

He'd rather fall off the little cot you have

Forgets to take off his rings

HAS a goat plushie

Inej

Inej is pretty straightforward- lay down, sleep if you can

challenge: try not to stab urself in the eye by the knife she has under her pillow while turning in ur sleep

Could use some protective cuddles if she trusts u

Prays before going to sleep

Bed time= heaven time. Main reason?she lets her hair down when going to sleep

Be prepared to do some careful and slow comforting for her at 1am

U will get urself stabbed if Ur not careful

Light sleeper, can be out like a light tho, after a whole day of climbing roofs

Fuzzy socks.

Has a teddy bear

Nina

U won't fall asleep with her. I swear

Is the type of person to talk and talk and talk about random things for hours

And when u think she's already asleep, ur suddenly hear "I would never kiss a dude who eats dogs"

Eats a ton of food before bed

*cough*like me*cough*

Loves bedtime stories and singing lullabies in Ravkan- recieving or giving, doesn't matter to her

Back tracing

Has an assortment of plushies all around her side of the bed and if one is missing, she will start a war

Sleeps on her stomach

Or on u

Sleeps naked by choice

Cuddly little witch

Matthias

Wrapped around u for 'protective' reasons

Tells u stories, myths and traditional legends from Fierda

Also prays to Djel, even tho he wipes his hands after finishing and exclaims he doesn't have to really

Drinks weird amount of water

Sometimes lays in bed with shoes on - sinner

Never saw a book in his life

Normal duvets? What is that? Did I hear fur?

Wake him up. I dare you. Try it.

Extra vulnerable before bed

Don't make him sad at the time pls

LOVES when it rains at night (I think they all love that, except ONE)

Owns a tiny white wolf plushie, it's under his pillow if u wanna know.

Wylan

Certified cutie

The adorable matching pijama sets he wears

Will probably draw.

No need to say he won't read before bed

The little spoon

Warm milk with honey melted in it is his to go drink for bed(try it, knocks u out)

The bed hair(not so different from his normal hair lol)

Has a dinamite plushie he sleeps with all the time

Is the one who doesn't like when it rains, because what If the rain turns into a thunderstorm?

ABSOLUTELY HATES THUNDERSTORMS

They scare the shit outta him

The sleepy mumbles... Help

whispers good night back and forth with u until one of u fall asleep

fluffy and smol bean

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A/n: Ahh turned out better then I first thought. Lemme know what u think! If you'd like to requests something, my requests are open, please read my pinned post before requesting, there you'll find rules but also the fandoms I write for ❤️❤️

[onomatopagu-et-cie]

Some (too many) mental notes & questions about D. Gray-man!

(SPOILERS UP TO CH. 247 & sorry if the terms used are awkward esp. the localization of the manga, I read it in french!)

I recently re-read DGM as the new chapter came out. I stopped catching up after volume 22 years ago and I am so glad I re-read the series!

If it was already beautifully sad and cruel, the volumes 23 to 27 hooked me even more. Like other manga (eg. Witch Hat Atelier, Berserk), the panel composition was already beautiful in the previous volumes but I was fascinated through my reading. The attention given to hands in these volumes (like MHA) was mind-blowing!

The Allen-Kanda-Johnny-Link group (and now Tiedoll) works really well, I didn’t expect that at all! Oh, and the character development/decline of every character is great, especially Allen & Neah, Kanda & Link (and Cross and Road in those flashbacks?????).

DGM wouldn’t be DGM if the mysteries didn’t keep growing even more cryptic as the story unfolds, so I guess here are some notes and questions I’ll come back to one day to see if they are answered!

► Now that we know the D. in DGM stands for ‘Dear’ (I already sense the tragedy in the title for both Allen and Mana aaaaa), I don’t know if this was intentional, but Mana in front of the mirror strongly reminded me of The Picture of Dorian Gray, especially the end (I shouldn’t have read this scene late at night, I was spooked haha). The characters of Allen and Neah, shrouded in mystery, also encapture the elusive personality of Dorian Gray.

► Paying extra attention to all the parallels between the Ghost of Mater & the Artificial Exorcists Arcs was Pure Pain. I’m always amazed how far the details go and make (even more or a whole new) sense later on.

► Lenalee and Komui’s story touched me once more aaaaaa ► Miranda’s power is really cruel, I wish we could see more of her someday ;;

► Road used for super-human the word ‘choujin’, which also seems to refer to the concept of übermensch in japanese ie. the ideal superior man of the future who could rise above conventional Christian morality to create and impose his own values... NOW THAT IS INTERESTING.

Especially regarding Road and Cross meeting & Allen’s prophecy as the ‘Destroyer of Time’ (the fact he could ‘sense’ Lenalee’s dream and interact with it, Cross ‘death’ by Apocryphos hands, past!Allen’s mystery over his rejuvenated body, Apocryphos observation on ‘Allen’s’ long existence as a parasite, and so on …)?????????????

And could she have a link to Allen and Lenalee’s dream of the future?

► The overarching theme of humans, akuma, Noahs and even the Earl at God’s/The Heart’s mercy manifests in many little plot points eg. the Ghost of Mater (that could even foreshadow the whole Cross/Road meeting), Road dressing Lenalee as a doll, Lenalee and Miranda taking their suffering as the Innocence testing them, Link turned into a puppet, Crown Clown and so on …

► Could this be Campbell’s mansion Allen will visit in the next chapters… ?

► Reever’s devotion to Komui ;;;;;;;;

► Fascinating how everyone except Allen is at risk of becoming a Fallen One, despite everything he does ‘against’ the Order, God and the Innocence: it could be explained by the role he was given by the Heart now that we have a bigger picture And it is foreshadowed since the Suman Dark Arc:

-> When Allen says Suman betrayed ‘God’, the kanji for god is used (kami), but the furigana read as Innocence:

And Allen even says later the Innocence punishes sinners as God itself, devuring Suman from the inside like a worm ……….

-> While Komui says he has betrayed God and the furigana read as God this time:

I love the word plays in the original versions with the furigana (I wonder if this has a name?), another example:

The kanji for family, kazoku, is read as the english « home », which we always saw used to describe the Order as a comforting place to return to: the Order was never Suman’s home, he always longed for his family

► Will this ever be explained? That, and Cross's special bond to God or the Heart!

Also this????????

AND ALSO CROSS HATRED FOR TIMCAMPY???????????

► Could Cross be a Bookman?

Neah’s flashback mentioned an ‘excentric uncle’, so it could also be Cross, given how he remembers Mana’s smile from his childhood, I am Confused Or he could be their childhood friend, as his appearance in the flashbacks suggests he would've had the same age past!Allen, Neah and Mana would have, around 35yo? Idek anymore! Either way, he has an obvious hold over his age like past!Allen, maybe through magic or their nature?

Was the unknown language Bookman spoke when the Ark was disappearing in the sky the same Mana taught Allen? In Komui’s corner, we learn Bookman knew in advance they would synchronize with an Innocence when their mission began???????? Do they somehow have links to the Heart or Apocryphos? Are they from the doomed world Road told Cross, as some sort of witnesses of the Noah's struggles on behalf of God?

► Tyki’s nature is hinted at by Road even as early as ch. 93, and the confrontation with Neah in the volume 26 makes me really think he’s some sort of copy of him

► This panel is Pain:

► I love Lenalee and Lavi’s relationship so much!! Lavi’s arc was gripping, and took Lenalee’s words on the boat (‘am I still in this world?’) to a whole new context

► About Luberrier :

How in hell was he aware of the 14th without even Cross telling him? His dialogue with Zuu before saving Link strongly suggests he knew the 3rd gen. project would cause the Noah attack on the laboratory and the 14th awakening, isolating Allen, as though he made a deal with a Noah or sb else. The ch150 (Hevlaska and Luberrier’s past) is haunting me, I’m really curious to see where this is going!

► About Link : We know so little about his past, how he became a Crow, how his devotion was built by the Administration (Link’s flashback with Luberrier after recovering was scary, how easily he gave in & Luberrier’s whole behavior was ugh)! Komui’s corner mentions the two red dots on the Crow’s forehead are scars left by the operation that made them sorcerers against their will + Allen tried to touch it, which made him mad GAHHHHHH I NEED MORE CONTEXT

Ch247 hurts even more considering Neah used the same words as Allen to greet Link but rang false aaaaaaa

Link’s profile is cut from the Central Administration’s organization chart from volume 25 (when he admits feeling conflicted over Allen’s fate), before his profile was included in the same box:

Komui’s corner once mentioned comforting food thanks to the emotional value they hold eg. Allen and Cross’s porridge. Link says he had something similar so I wonder if this will ever be showed in the manga!

► About past!Allen: This might be a reach, but ch221’s flashback made me think Atuuda’s magic (its symbol in particular) can be linked to past!Allen with the whole spiral of life theory (+ the fact his body rejuvenated by some miracle):

There are also many parallels with other dynamics in the manga: -> Neah-Cross & Mana — he was set on eliminating anything else that draws near Mana, as a promise he made to Neah -> Luberrier-Link & Neah-Allen — Luberrier needs Link in order to protect and save them from anyone -> past!Allen & Neah — he promised Neah he would protect his memory from anyone (-> Kanda & Alma — he was the only one that could save Alma)

(I don’t want to think about Link potentially becoming another host for Neah, sacrificing himself for Allen for example aaaaaa)

I saw Hoshino’s sister loves Link’s character and what happens next to him will potentially be pure pain, I get her because his potential is skyrocketing and I’m definitely not ready aaaaaaaa

► What was even going on between Neah and past!Allen???????????????

► Allen’s past was really devastating. Mana’s words by the sunset ;;;;;

► In ch216, Cornelia’s wood destroys Timcampy in a similar way Red is bound eyes and ears from the scene when the Earl comes back in the circus in the recent chapters (with those little black hands)

► The parallels & oppositions btw Kanda & Link (the potential of the trio Kanda-Allen-Link!!!!!) : -> both presented in a negative light at the beginning -> both now deem themselves unworthy to be a part of Allen’s life: Kanda is glad Johnny is there to support him, Link says he will disappear from Allen’s life if he defeats the 14th (and also That Panel when he saw Allen come back to his senses and save Johnny). Both have feelings they suppress when it comes to Allen, in a stark contrast with Johnny’s honesty -> both were objects of experimentation/intensive training but Kanda feels no loyalty to the Order, while Link does strongly to Luberrier -> both wound up with a shortened lifespan they hide atm (Kanda as a Fallen One & Link with Atuuda) -> both were targeted by Apocryphos and had their memories rewritten -> Kanda wants to kill the 14th, Link is ordered to aid him -> hands shown as holding dominion over them both (the Innocence, Luberrier and the Heart)

► Predictions for the next chapters: Since Johnny is going along with Allen & Link, there’s a chance : 1) Link will drive Johnny away so Neah wakes up ; 2) Neah will do it since he sees everything through Allen’s eyes and even challenges Link’s ‘loyalty’ 1) would be logical as everyone in Allen’s group feared it while Allen accepted the risk but given the whole arc, Link seems VERY conflicted over the whole matter (and their shoujo-esque reunion damn, that and volume 25 whole vibes) Also Road seems to have led Allen to the mansion through his dream because she thought he was dangerous (????) AND a ‘bookman’ was there, so a lot will happen!

Have a nice week-end!

[heartpawp]

let the light in - at your back door yelling 'cause i wanna come in

read it on ao3 here

You knew you would die painfully.

From the moment you gained conscience, the ill thoughts of death always trickled in the back of your mind like wild daisies in the middle of the sidewalk— It was fate, everyone knew it deep down.

Once you’re gone there’s no memory to preserve, especially once the Earth’s rotted by the Sun and tossed into galactic dust. We all know it.

That awful day when you met your husband changed your view. We’ll all go to Hell.

And we all know it.

Something sharp and spindly cuts into your neck as your vision starts to crawl out, your head spinning with nausea. You look around to see the blood moon next to a golden one, and a scarlet sky twinged with black clouds. How long have you been here, thorns resting in the crook of your neck, digging in with every toss and turn?

This is an unholy sanctuary.

He’s here.

Your first thought when you wake up sends you into an upright position, glancing to every side with a desperate fervor. To no avail, you do not hear or even see your husband anywhere around.

The screams around you from pleading sinners would’ve masked his gentle voice, anyhow. They should just take it like what they’ve deserved in this life. They fell down the wrong path, you chose this— every miserable sinner here should’ve been at your mercy.

Why are they so loud, knowing what they’ve done?

Why are you still thinking about your husband, so sure he’s still enamored with you?

Everyone has their reasons, you suppose, as you stand up and wobble on your new two feet. Looking down, you’re disgusted to see four grisly gloved claws, adorned with white silk and a few bows to match.

Not modest, but.. You’re sure in Hell there are lots of madames. They do the dirty work, but surely they don’t deserve to roam in the darkest of depths, no?

Caught up in your own needless thinking, you don’t notice a girl come hurtling down your way. You gasp breathlessly as she begins to talk. “Hi, oh my gosh, um..” She hasn’t even said anything you can grasp yet, but her mouth still somehow moves a million miles an hour. “So! I’m.. gathering residents for my spectacular redemption hotel! It’s called the Happy— Er.. Hazbin Hotel! I’m sure you’re scared, I saw you wake up just now and—!” You scoff, placing your hands on your hips and rolling your eyes. "No, thank you."

The blonde persists, tapping your shoulder as you turn to walk away. Frustration finally boils over, when will this lady be quiet? You swing your head to face hers, an unamused expression donning your face. “Didn’t ya hear me, ya chatta’ box?” You snarl, pushing her away.

You almost feel bad, especially with the way her puppy-dog eyes plead for you to join her little hotel. Too bad, so sad, though. You were here for a purpose, not to rise up to some unattainable goal like fucking going to heaven of all places. Really? You just got here and you’re already being phished by some random woman.

Not to mention the fact she’s dressed particularly modern, the tux an eyesore to your newly uncovered eyes. It reminds you of your husband— clad in his pinstriped suits. He was always such an innovator for his time, a supporter of the new age. This girl though.. No manners to be seen at all!

Your husband would have smacked her upside the head, you think! “No, I came here for a reason, and I’m not going to waste it on some charity case.” You barely hold back raising your voice; that would be improper manners for a lady, yes? Especially one who wasn’t sure about her husband’s love for her dwindling— Or having been there in the first place.

Even if he didn’t, you could still try. You hope.

Take on a new shape, a new form if he didn’t already recognize you— Try someone more delicate, prettier, fancier, more akin to his tastes..

What do you look like, minus the claws?

You could use a mirror.

[hongluboobs]

wrath/gloom/sloth he’s SO fucking not normal you guys

the only other Hong Lu with gloom is liu. wrath used to be pretty rare in his kits but liu, w corp, and hook Hong Lu have it so it’s not really that rare anymore! No lust is also something to note because right now the only Hong Lu identities that don’t have lust affinity somewhere are the corp ones!

It’s a little bit of a reach but his lustless ids being specifically the corp ones reminds me of something from dream of the red chamber. In that book, there’s a character named Zhen Bao-yu, who seems identical to and is even called a “mirror version” of Jia Bao-yu(the most likely equivalent to limbus Hong Lu) in the text. The two look very similar and even have the same jade, but the difference is instead of remaining silly and whimsical (to quote the text, “full of lust”) like Jia Bao-yu, Zhen Bao-yu eventually matures out of this. When the two finally meet in person, Jia Bao-yu expects to meet a kindred spirit but soon realizes Zhen Bao-yu isn’t actually like him and is a “career worm”, which he hates.

All the corp hong lus get their jobs from nepotism, So that can potentially provide deeper meaning for why the Corp Hong Lu’s don’t have lust if you’re a little too insane about the text, but what about this one? he sure as hell isn’t working at a corp?

If I have to connect it to the text, this Hong Lu reminds me of the Jia Bao-yu (who i’m just gonna call Bao-yu for brevity bc Zhen Bao-yu isn’t relevant to here) near the very end of the book. Here, he returns to the land of illusion and is enlightened this time! He reads a bunch of forbidden knowledge that pretty much amounts to the fates of everyone he cares about, and DOESN’T forget it like he did the first time. This makes him develop an ambivalent “it had to happen this way and i couldn’t stop it” view of life and he starts to gradually disconnect from reality. Eventually he just. fucks off to become a monk

Of course, this might not be what they’re going for. I don’t even know how equivalent they’re trying to make things related to Hong Lu to the text, i just know it’s not gonna be one-to-one. On the other hand, red chamber is also a long ass book i don’t think many people in this fandom have read through, and it’s one of our biggest hints for what Hong Lu’s canto could hold.

Also the s3 sloth reminds me of k corp Hong Lu and i like that guy. i almost forgot to say this

i’m sooo excited for this id to drop ohhh my god. i need to see all the fucked up shit he says. i need some freak i can run on a sinking team who isn’t named lcb sinner Hong Lu. and thank god this games equivalent of bao-yu fucking off to be a monk isn’t bald bc i’d be really scared if he was (monk bao-yu cuts off all his hair when he fucks off. it’s really sad)

[doehoney]

I SEE A SAD LITTLE SINNER IN THE MIRROR, THE DEVIL WORKS HARD LIKE MY LIVER, I DONT WANNA BE ALIVE BUT I DONT WANNA DIE, FISTFUL OF PILLS AND RIVERS IN MY EYES, IVE GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, DEAR GOD IN THE SKY, HEAR MY CRY, HEAR MY CRY, ITS TOO DARK TO SEE, LET THERE BE LIGHT

[i-am-bella-donna]

To Remain in the Sky

AO3

Story Summary:

Emily loved being an angel. However, it took her a long time to realize that “being an angel” and “being good” were far from the same thing.

Pairings: Familial Emily x Sera

Word Count: 1,727

CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A

A/N: I wrote this on a whim. I want to see how many HH fanfics I write before the next two episodes come out.

Because we know so little about Emily and Sera, I did my best with their characterizations. I hope you like it.

~~~

“How long?”

If Sera was surprised to see Emily appear in her bedroom, she did not show it. She had most likely been expecting her—Sera always seemed to know exactly what Emily was thinking, just like Emily always knew what Sera was thinking. They were two peas in a pod, and Emily admired her older sister like she had hung the stars.

She and Sera never kept secrets. Not from each other.

Or so she had thought.

Emily took a deep breath, the unfamiliar sensation of anger overwhelming in her chest. “How long has Heaven been doing this, Sera?”

Sera turned away from the wall mirror, watching in silence as Emily approached. Her expression was unreadable.

“How long ago did you give Adam permission to take our people down to Hell for—” Her voice caught and broke off. She heaved another breath.

Humans died. That was a fact.

But the dead were not supposed to die again.

Emily struggled to keep her own expression neutral, even as her fingers twitched. How much double-death had occurred down in Hell—a cruel fate not even caused by the Sinners themselves, but by her own people?

How did I not know?

“Emily…”

She snapped back to attention.

Sera was watching her with furrowed brows, concern plain in her expression. She opened her arms, and Emily wanted nothing more than to fall into them. To let herself be fussed over like she was a small child again. No matter what was wrong, her older sister had always made everything better.

But Emily was no longer a child, and Sera could no longer placate her with hugs and sweet words.

Shoving the hands away, Emily tried her hardest to ignore the hurt that flashed across her face. “How many human souls have been destroyed because of us?” she exclaimed. The words scraped against her throat as they left, leaving a barely-recognizable metallic taste in her mouth.

In all her years, Emily had rarely seen blood. She had no reason to—blood and injury were rare in Heaven. But what about Charlie? Had her estranged cousin grown up surrounded by the slaughter of her own people? Did she ever have to fall asleep to a lullaby of screams as angels led a massacre all around her? Did the streets flood with red? Did—

“You don’t understand,” Sera began softly. Emily pushed the vivid images out of her mind as quickly as possible. She wanted to focus on this conversation and get answers, but Sera looked so tired and sad—

I bet the Sinners we kill are sad, too.

Fury and betrayal filled her once more.

“What is there to understand?” Emily shot back, cutting her sister off to both of their surprise. She knew she should stop. She should take a few deep breaths so they could talk like reasonable adults—but the emotions swirling around her head and clouding her mind were suffocating in a way she had never felt before. She was left choking on her own thoughts and wanting to throw back her head and scream—not with excitement or laughter, but with confusion and pain.

If every day in Heaven was happy, did every day in Hell feel like this?

If Sinners were already suffering, why did they need to be killed?

Emily could not understand, but the questions were filling her with bitterness.

“Charlie showed us!” she pleaded. “The human souls in Hell—they can be good! That man in the feed from Hell—Angel—he was becoming better! And his friends were getting better, too! They just need some help.”

She and Sera—they were leaders of Heaven. They were supposed to be merciful. They should have been the ones going down to Hell, offering redemption to Sinners who wanted to work for a second chance. Charlie should never have had to claw her way up and beg for an audience—especially not with the way it turned out.

Sera was her older sister. She was an angel, and Emily wanted to believe that she was a good one.

But as chaos and discord unfolded in that courtroom, she had looked at her estranged cousin and seen the kindest soul she had ever met—only to watch that spark get crushed at the hands of Sera and Adam.

As if reading her mind, Sera continued. “The situation is so much more complicated than you could ever know.” Her voice was still gentle. Before, Emily might have found it calming. Right now, it only made her angrier.

“So what?” Emily took another step back and glared up at her sister. “I’m supposed to do nothing? Ignore how our people have been committing annual genocides?”

Emily tried to shove away the images that Adam had accidentally displayed—the screams and blood and fear.

Did it really matter if they were Sinners? The fear in their eyes was human, first and foremost.

How many times had Charlie and Vaggie had that fear in their eyes? What about their beloved friends from the Hotel?

Her heart almost stopped.

The Hotel.

Her stomach twisted as the blood drained from her face. Lightheaded, she stumbled back, barely noticing as Sera extended a worried hand.

“You’re going to stop the next Extermination, right?” she asked desperately. Her vision blurred slightly, but she did not care to understand why.

Sera winced. Pain, shame, guilt—they were all written clearly on her face.

Emily released a shuddering breath.

None of these emotions were supposed to be present on the face of her older sister. Sera was good, and wise, and—

And complicit in millions of deaths.

Sera looked away.

Emily felt her heart fall into her stomach. “Sera?” she asked weakly.

Sera blinked, and it was her turn to step away. She turned back to the wall mirror and stared at her reflection with dull eyes. When she spoke, her voice was heavy with exhaustion. “You’re still so young, Emily.”

“I’m older than any human on Earth—”

“But you aren’t even a millennium old yet!” Sera abruptly spun back to her, her expression pleading. Emily felt her own eyes grow wet in response.

Blood and death and screams and fear—

“There were thousands of years—thousands of catalysts—that built up to the first Extermination. Things were so much more complicated than you could imagine. Than I would even want you to imagine.” Sera started to reach for her, only to drop her hand. She looked as though she was in physical pain. “I never wanted to do this, Emily—but I had to do what was best for us. I had to keep our people safe.”

Sera took a shaky breath, turning away slightly before stepping forward once more. She kneeled and placed her hands gently on her shoulders. “Sometimes…” Her voice was softer than before. Resigned. “Sometimes, being a leader—even a leader of Heaven—means getting blood on your face so no one else has to.”

Emily swallowed. Her mouth was uncomfortably dry.

The Extermination was still going to happen. Adam had planned it—he was proud of it—and Charlie and Vaggie and all of their friends were going to be in danger again—

Her breaths were coming shorter and shorter. Her throat felt tight.

In some ways, Sera was right. Being a leader meant doing the tasks that no one else was willing to do—no matter the cost.

Her blood ran cold.

Sera was beginning to look worried at her lack of response. “Emily?”

Her heart pounded.

“Then…maybe I don’t want to be an angel of Heaven anymore.”

The words loomed in the air. They were out, and they could never be taken back.

Sera froze.

“Emily—”

“Those people—Charlie and her friends—everyone will need all the help they can get.” Emily heard her voice shaking as she spoke—it sounded strange to her own ears. She pressed on, smiling without any humor. “I love being an angel. I used to love watching you—I wanted to be exactly like you.”

Of course, Sera already knew that. Sera knew everything about her.

Her head spun with the memories. Had they really been so recent? This day might as well have lasted several years.

“I loved doing good. I tried to follow your example in any way possible—if I could be even a fraction as compassionate or kind as you were, I would be happy.” Her smile grew brittle. “But I want to keep people safe, too. I’ll do whatever it takes to help those who need it—even if that means walking straight into Hell.”

Sera yanked her hands away as though she had been burned. The terror on her face rivaled the fear in the eyes of Sinners as they were murdered—it was almost enough to make Emily falter.

Almost.

It hurt. It hurt more than Emily had even known was possible—she did not understand how she was not writhing in agony.

But the screams remained locked behind her lips and the smile stayed glued upon her face, and she kept silent as shaking hands reached above her head and snapped her halo in two.

~~~

Sera remembered the night that Lucifer Fell.

She had been there for all of it—from the buildup to the aftermath—and she wanted nothing more than to forget.

The scariest part of the Fall had been its namesake—the horrifying moment when the sacred ground of Heaven gave out and sent her once-best friend plummeting toward Hell. The horrifying moment when she locked eyes with Lucifer just in time to see his fear before he was disappearing through the floor.

She did not get to say goodbye, or to thank him, or to apologize. There was no time for any of it.

Sera had only seen one Fall, but that was more than enough. She was living proof that even Heaven could not keep the nightmares away.

And as her stupid, brave, caring little sister snapped her own halo, Sera watched as her worst nightmare became a reality. The halo had barely hit the ground before Emily was falling.

One second, she was present.

The next, she was gone.

And that was it.

The silence was deafening.

Two broken pieces of a halo—the only indication that Emily had been there at all—lay innocently on the floor. Thoroughly numb, Sera took the pieces into her palms. She could only stare as the jagged edges cut into her skin, smearing her hands with bright angelic blood.

Her head spun.

What have I done?

~~~

A/N: This was fun to write!

I thought that Emily must have been rather horrified to learn about the Exterminations. She spent her whole life in Heaven, where everything is perfect—only to find out that her people have been committing annual mass genocide for centuries.

In this story, I decided to use a slightly more sympathetic portrayal of Sera—she is still awful, but she genuinely believes that the Exterminations are for the best. Do I believe this interpretation will be canon? No. Is it fun to explore? Absolutely.

Also, I considered adding another couple of chapters (about Emily going down to Hell and meeting Charlie at the Hotel). Would anyone be interested in that?

[strangefellows]

Heres one:If you were tasked with making a Mirror World where the Sinners were the Sefirot, who would be who?

OH I LOVE YOU FOR THIS ANON THANK YOU.

Okay so.

Malkuth -> Don Quixote: They both have similar flavors of reckless enthusiasm that drags themselves into trouble because they don't look before they leap, but they always mean well in their actions even if they don't consider consequences. Example is in Canto 4 when Don jumps to defend that kid in the immigration checkpoint and ends up getting herself and the party beat to fucking shit. I can see her ending up doing something similar to what Elijah did with the Cogito experiment, hoping to help but not thinking ahead. And they both have kinda vicious/scary streaks!

Yesod -> Meursault: As much as I want to say Gregor because I will die on the hill of Yesod+Gregor parallels re: body horror, Meursault fits more to me. Meursault, like Yesod, is a very stoic person who presents a front to the world of inscrutability; Yesod is the Viper, and Meursault can come off as incredibly stone-faced and unfeeling. But both of them -- Yesod explicitly, Meursault implicitly but we'll see in his Canto -- hide a much deeper and more complex, very emotional inner self behind those outward presentations. They're also both very intelligent.

Hod -> Sinclair: Here is easy, both of them are kind-hearted and a bit shy and awkward, and both of them carry a lot of guilt with them for actions they perceive as proving themselves to be 'not a good person' -- and in both cases, it involves accidentally or on purpose selling loved ones out to someone else, not realizing the extent of what their actions would cause. With Hod, it was Michelle reporting the lab not realizing the slaughter that would ensue, and with Sinclair it's giving Kromer the key not realizing she'd murder his entire family etc. Very much alike.

Netzach -> Yi Sang: Somewhat low hanging fruit, here, but it's more than just the 'sad wet cats' thing. Despite my insistent yelling about the Ayin/Yi Sang parallels, we could also point to Ayin/Netz parallels, as someone devoted to their leader, who was devastated when they were lost and everything began to fall apart, who lost will to live afterwards-- and then lead that into Yi Sang Netz, as someone who needed to be pushed and guided back onto wanting to see another day, who needed to be reminded of the worth in life. Also given we just got a Ring ID for Yi Sang and Netzach is an artist...

Tiphereth -> Heathcliff: Yeah, you heard me. Lisa!Tiph specifically, as Cathy would be Enoch!Tiph. You get it now? The angry, loud one who is SO frustrated with everyone, who yells and gets mad and quietly thinks she's not as good as her counterpart-- the counterpart that she loves very much, who she loses over and over again, who was always so far away from her but keeps getting further and further away with every passing loop...you get it? It fits extremely well, if you replace the 'siblings' aspect with HeathCathy in any sense of the relationship.

Chesed -> Hong Lu: This one's kinda self-explanatory! Chill rich boys that just kinda Vibe, but who are much more complex than they seem at first glance. Hong Lu has a tendency to be a little meaner than Chesed, and is a tiny bit more out of touch with others, but they have enough overlap that I can see this. The disillusionment Hong Lu would go through during the loops as Chesed might go in a very similar direction to our Chesed's, too.

Gebura -> Ishmael: YOU WOULD THINK HEATHCLIFF. But no. First, because see above, and second, because of Ishmael's blind obsession (ha) with revenge on Ahab and how it consumed her with violence that almost dragged her down to the depths-- it has a hell of a lot of similarity to how Gebura's own anger and rage over what happened to her and her inability to protect drove her to violence and destruction in her meltdown, and her rage against Binah/Garion for being the cause. They have a lot in common there. Also compare Gebura's devotion to Carmen and Ishmael's relationship to Queequeg.

Hokma -> Outis: HEAR ME OUT. Putting immediately aside the 'potential traitor' thing -- because I'm convinced that's a red herring -- we have a woman who is, at least on the surface, devotedly loyal to the manager. Though in her case it's pretty obviously a front, it's still present. And then, she has her broken pocket watch, a symbol of her devotion to a loved one left behind, a loved one dearly missed, one she wishes to return to one day. You see where I'm going with this? The 'token older member' also overlaps, but the watch and the faraway love that one is devoted to, has faith in seeing once again...

Binah -> Faust: Yeah, besides the fact that I think Faust is gonna be the traitor here-- Faust is very Angela-core, but also very Binah in her mysteriousness, the way she speaks very vaguely and in metaphors at times, and the way she seems to know everything even if she doesn't, really-- but even if she does or not, she sure won't tell. I can very much see her sipping tea down in Extraction. Not to mention Faust's deep ties to the game mechanics, Mephistopheles and her knowledge of the Boughs and the Mirror and Walpurgis, which fits with being in charge of Extraction, where the Well lies. It clicks together well.

....i hope you know I came up with half of these on the spot and am losing it because it all fits SO WELL. thank you for this ask holy shit.

[nmst-slmnk]

I see a sad little sinner in the mirror

the devil works hard like my liver.

[violetthekiller]

i’ve legit had ‘sad little sinner in the mirror’ in my head for the past 4 days

[poblouznenedevce]

I see a sad little sinner

in the mirror

The devil works hard

like my liver

Don't wanna be alive

but I don't wanna die

A fist full of pills and rivers in my eyes

I've nothin' left to lose

dear God in the sky

Hear my cry

When it's too dark to see

Let therе be light

[hazbincalifornia]

Whoah if we could see that. Stella doesn’t know cash personally, doesn’t have memories or probably even knows what he looks like, or experiences like her dad had raised by him. But if she saw him, a bit jarring as she sees him who resembles her dad a lot but worse, haggard and old, husk of a man. A dismissive statement about oh, you’re his grandkid, huh? What’d your dad have to do, or who’d he have to spread his legs for to get someone funny looking like you

She took him in with just a glance. Nice clothes that had been long since worn with time, and hanging off a thin frame with a head he could barely seem to hold up from the weight of his horns and the stink of cheap, heavy booze that oozed through the pores of the skin and colored his tongue.

"A prince."

"Hmm?"

"I have two dads. One of them is a prince of the Ars Goetia."

It took him a moment to process that, voice crackling with age and alcohol as he did. "You're shittin' me."

She spread her arms as if about to take a bow, flicking the feathered end of her tail. "Look at me. The fuck else would I come from, old man? Sinners can't have kids, and nobody else looks like birds."

"…Son of a bitch." He squinted at her, and she watched him back. It was almost wild, how he looked like Dad but thrown through three layers of funhouse mirror, with everything she cared about suctioned away and twisted into broken glass. Shrunken, compared to her. Small. "Sold himself, did he?"

"Nope. Papa just liked him." She blinked. "He lives in the palace now. I've got two sisters and a little brother." Pause. "He never told me much about you."

His face wrinkled at that before he shook it off. "Ungrateful little shit. He ruined everything for everybody, and then didn't even bother coming back when he caught some rich titty to suck off of? It'd be the least he could do."

"My papa was…." Blitz crossed his arms, bouncing his foot as he figured out how to phrase it. She was young, too young to get details even though she'd heard him sometimes when he was drunk and curled up against Papa when she was supposed to be in bed. His fingers tightened ever-so-slightly on his biceps, so subtly she was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to notice, but she was real good at noticing little things like that. "Not great. Nothing I did was good enough for him, even when I tried my best." He dropped down to one knee, setting a hand on her shoulder. "I don't ever want you feeling like I don't care, alright, sweetie?"

"Yeah, well." She tilted her head. "He did it all by himself. He runs a business now."

He raised an eyebrow, tail cracking like a whip. "What kind?"

"He kills people. He taught me how to do it too." She spread her fingers, pulling her favorite gun from nothingness with a few sparkles and a rip in the fabric of space. "A lot of people tried to kill me when I was little, so I had to learn fast." She spun the gun around on the edge of a slender finger, watching as the blood flooded his face as it fell into place in her hand like it belonged there.

"Now, sweetie-"

"I like my Daddy a lot." She aimed the gun, and he took a step back. "And I know he doesn't like you."

"C'mon, I'm your grandpa-"

She fired. It went right between his horns, and his eyes darted up as the smoke curled before jolting back to her.

"Sometimes when he drinks too much, he talks about you. It makes him sad, and I don't like that. If you ever get close to him and make him feel bad again, I'll put the next one between your fucking eyes. I'm good at finding people too, even when they try to hide. Got it?"

From the way his head bounced like a bobblehead, he got it.

Good.

[cassianus]

"Litanies are among the oldest forms of Christian prayer. They invite us, not to a mechanical and vain repetition of words, but to a prolonged contemplation of one or another of the mysteries of our faith, shot through with an insistent appeal for mercy. Pray the Litany of the Holy Face quietly and slowly. Allow each invocation to open the eyes of your soul to the adorable countenance of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Human Face of God."

The Litany of the Holy Face of Jesus

Lord, have mercy on us.

Christ, have mercy on us.

Lord, have mercy on us.

Christ, hear us.

Christ, graciously hear us.

God the Father of heaven,

R. Have mercy on us.

God the Son, Redeemer of the world.

R. Have mercy on us.

God the Holy Ghost,

R. Have mercy on us.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, radiant splendour of the Father,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, spotless mirror of the majesty of God and image of His goodness,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, where radiates the consuming fire of the Holy Spirit,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, joy of the Virgin Mary,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, Who allowed Thyself to be embraced by little children,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, covered with sadness at the departure of the rich young man,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, Whose gaze converted the sinful woman and transformed the heart of Peter,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, sought by all those who love Thee,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, light of all the upright of heart,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, Whose radiant beauty is veiled to the proud,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, in Whose light our misery lies open,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, Whose compassionate gaze wants to take away our bitterness,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, Whose meekness is so sweet that it transforms souls,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, on which we read Thine infinite Charity,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, Whose look of mercy enfolds the whole world,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, which will never be sufficiently honoured,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, covered with a sweat of blood,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, touched by the infamous traitor's kiss,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, crowned with thorns,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, insulted by hatred, negligence, and infidelities,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, buffeted by servants, struck by soldiers, and bruised abusively by the crowd,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, stained with spittle, dust, and blood,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, despised by the powerful of this world,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, trembling with sorrow upon meeting Mary,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, tenderly wiped by Veronica,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, on which we can read all the traces of our sins,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, hidden in the Holy Sacrament,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, which the Angels so greatly desired to see and before which they can only be silent and adore,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, Whose brightness will one day be the reward of the just and the most burning punishment of sinners,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, before which the elect cast their crowns in everlasting praise,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, Whose radiance is all the beauty of holy souls,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Most Holy Face of Jesus, which will transfigure us from glory to glory,

R. Look upon us, and have mercy.

Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world,

spare us, O Lord.

Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world,

graciously hear us, O Lord.

Lamb of God, Who takest away the sins of the world,

have mercy on us.

V. Behold, O God our protector.

R. And look upon the Face of Thy Christ.

Let us pray.

O Lord Jesus Christ, glory of the Heavenly Father

and light of souls,

we beseech Thee with confidence that,

as we make our way amidst the shadows of this world,

the splendour of Thy Face may shine upon us,

that in the light of Thy Countenance,

we may at length merit to contemplate the eternal light

in which Thou livest and reignest with God the Father,

in the unity of the Holy Ghost,

forever and ever.

R. Amen.

[nowimthebadguy]

TASK #1: A MAUDE GOTHEL PLAYLIST !

track one: look what you made me do, taylor swift

maybe i got mine, but you’ll all get yours but i got smarter, i got harder in the nick of time honey, i rose up from the dead, i do it all the time i’ve got a list of names and yours is in red underlined i check it once, then i check it twice

track two: bad guy, billie eilish

i’m that bad type make your mama sad type make your girlfriend mad type might seduce your dad type i’m the bad guy, duh

track three: applause, lady gaga

to crash the critics saying, “is it right or is it wrong?” if only fame had an iv, baby, could i bear being away from you, i found the vein, put it in here i live for the applause, applause, applause

track four: yellow flicker beat, lorde

i’m done with it this is the start of how it all ends they used to shout my name, now they whisper it i’m speeding up and this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart

track five: hungry, suzi wu

consumes me to the bone, the baddest song the only thing i know, i write my wrongs they say i must desire to sell so well burnin' like i'm fire, until i burn myself

track six: woman like me, little mix ft. nicki minaj

i always say what i’m feeling i was born without a zip on my mouth sometimes i don’t even mean it it takes a little while to figure me out

track seven: 7 rings, ariana grande

i see it, i like it, i want it, i got it yeah, my receipts be looking like phone numbers if it ain’t money then wrong number black card is my business card the way it be setting the tone for me

track eight: vigalinte shit, taylor swift

i don’t dress for women, i don’t dress for men lately i’ve been dressing for revenge i don’t start shit but i can tell you how it ends don’t get sad, get even

track nine: river, bishop briggs

shut your mouth, baby, stand and deliver holy hands, will they make me a sinner? like a river, like a river shut your mouth and run me like a river

track ten: stop wondering, april smith

do you ever wonder if i’m thinking of you when i wake in the morning and the day is new? if you ever wonder if i’m thinking of you well, i’m not, so you can stop wondering

track eleven: me too, meghan trainor

who’s that sexy thing i see over there? that’s me, standing in the mirror what’s that icy thing hanging ‘round my neck? that’s gold, show me some respect

track twelve: sorry not sorry, demi lovato

now payback is a bad bitch and baby, i’m the baddest you fuckin’ with a savage, can’t have this, can’t have this and it’d be nice of me to take it easy on ya, but nah baby, i’m sorry, i’m not sorry, baby, i’m sorry, i’m not sorry being so bad got me feeling so good

track thirteen: copy cat, billie eilish

you got your finger on the trigger but your trigger finger’s mine silver dollar, golden flame, dirty water, poison rain perfect murder, take your aim i don't belong to anyone but everybody knows my name

track fourteen: the man, taylor swift

i’m so sick of running as fast as i can wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man and i’m so sick of them coming at me again ‘cause if i was a man, i’d be the man

[tartaeya]

kaeya 😈 also bennett hehe

OH HI.... I would love to do this meme for those two ;o;

Kaeya:

favorite thing about them: Kaeya's just so damn cool, genuinely the most interesting Mondstadt character with a ton of foreshadowing set up for his relevance and even that isn't as important as just how complex but likeable he is? Everything from how everyone knows Kaeya's smiles are fake (even to kids!) to the fact that he's so competent despite being a cavalry captain with no cavalry... we stan a babygirl who can get the upper hand on just about anyone. I love that he's kind of an asshole in Venti's story quest to Diluc, LMAO it just shows a side of him we don't often see.

least favorite thing about them: I agree w/u Kaeya could turn out to be the Tsaritsa and want world domination or something and I'd be like yes sweetie you're doing great

favorite line: god I'm bad with quotes but I'm fond of "Khaenri'ah, huh? You sure know a lot! The legacy of Khaenri'ah is long gone, the sinners are all that's left, and they're not worth mentioning." from his voiceover quotes. go girl give us nothing

brOTP: favonius crew!

OTP: Chaeya obviously, they were my first Genshin ship thanks to a friend posting about them often enough for me to get curious and now I feel like these two characters are Made for each other and that they're def gonna meet in canon. And if I'm wrong, I will be so sad :') BUT THAT'S OKAY they don't need to meet in canon for them to be perfect.

nOTP: I could just take the easy route and say k*luc but honestly I hate every other ship involving Kaeya because I have ship blinders on for every ship I'm really invested in. I Do Not Perceive them with other characters.

random headcanon: Kaeya can't cook and from the fact that he grew up with a rather privileged life, I like to think he'd learn a lot from Childe about how to take care of himself. Also that Kaeya sneaks Childe into the Favonius Headquarters barracks from time to time...

unpopular opinion: hmm. I feel like people dismiss Kaeya as a jerk at times but forgive other characters for being jerks in the exact same way/dismiss him as an irrelevant starter character. Like there is no other character in Genshin, to me, that has as many secrets as him. I think it's premature to write him off in any capacity!!

song i associate with them: I like Curses by the Crane Wives for him!

benny boy beneath the cut so this post doesn't get too long!

favorite thing about them: Benny is just the sweetest little guy and a constant in my team ever since I got him. He's just So Good and doesn't deserve all the bad luck he has :( He's really versatile in terms of both combat and characters he pings off of! I feel like he'd be particularly good in a summer event, esp for more lore about him.

least favorite thing about them: I accidentally c6'd him :(

favorite line: BENNY'S ADVENTURE TEAM ASSEMBLE

brOTP: most of the Mondstadt Obvious Teenage Characters tend to go along really well with him as friends. I also like the idea of Diluc being friendly with him because I run them in the same team comp often.

OTP: I subscribe to your Benyun agenda hahaha, the art is so cute!

nOTP: i can't see him with any girls i'm sorry

random headcanon: He accidentally does the bad luck superstitions often. Walks under ladders, breaks mirrors, black cats cross his path... etc. Can't catch a break.

unpopular opinion: I don't really have one!

song i associate with them: UHHH i don't. Have one RIP I'm so bad with song memes

[sakshinarula]

An ocean of loneliness/are you trying to out swim the grief/A sadness that doesn't kill, a sadness that doesn't leave/Is there a pain you cannot name/A man who couldn't love you/A sinner to blame/A hunger no great meal or a great song can satiate/A birch that watches you self loathe from the window/a mirror that absorbs all your rage

-A Little Box of Fame, Sakshi Narula