#sad and sorrowful or tense and mystical?

[thegreatbuttoneer]

“Stare” 6x8 b&w acrylic painting

Testing out a new style :)

Relative songs:

Out Getting Ribs - King Krule

Gallowdance (forever and always 🖤 lmao) - Lebanon Hanover

lucy~ - Corbon Amodio

The Lobotomy (yes I’m a basic bitch) - Maebi

What Did You See? - Cemeteries

Dog Nightmare - Jack Stauber

[pep-the-artemis]

Prologue to Trininty

Placeholder name. 1676 words. this is the second draft of the prologue I've been writing. Not completely happy yet. All advice/feedback welcome.

cw. references to death

When I was a young child, I stacked a pile of boxes so I could climb into the attic; a mysterious place full of relics and oddities. A place unlike anywhere else, a world that felt alive once but is now left forgotten. I went up there to find an old friend, a book my father used to read to me—the book of heroes! The tale takes place in the holy land of Eden following the journey of mystical beings (led by the saintly angel Israel) travelling on a journey of self discovery to overthrow Tyranny. From me, the book only ever found adoration; it was marvellous, it was perfect, and nothing could ever come close.

The attic was cold, filled with old boxes. Carefully balancing across the beams and carefully pulling a box down from the pile before pouring through its contents, I began my search. Most stuff I found was uninteresting, and after looking through the never ending piles of boxes, I was beginning to lose hope until I found the box I was looking for filled with old army equipment, retro vinyls, and fishing lures. Hidden underneath all the contents was the Book of Heroes; Leather bound with gold lettering (which now had mostly peeled away) closed tightly with a long ultramarine ribbon—exactly how I remembered it. I really should have put the boxes all back neatly, but I was so excited that I rushed back down from the attic immediately, nearly tripping and falling along the way.

Before heading downstairs to my mother, I looked into my parents room and saw my brother Zayn (around 4 years my senior) sitting on the bed, curtains drawn, holding a small lighter, secluding himself in the dark. Walking over, he didn’t react; he was transfixed on the wall while he sat in mournful prayer. He was tense. Slowly crying but he didn’t appear sad, he was bitter.

I sat down on the floor by his feet and looked up at the wall. The room was very bare, most ornaments had already been packed away. Painted shortly after I was born, all that was left was the large family portrait of us four. Standing in the centre was our father, with his hands resting on the shoulders of my mother and brother while I lay there, bundled tightly in an ultramarine shawl, asleep peacefully in an antique cot.

Not understanding what Zayn was doing, my thoughts turned back to fathers book; I was excited to be able to share after many months of it being lost in the dark. Breaking the silence, I looked up at my brother and explained,

“Zayn… I was just in the attic, and I found fathers old book! You know, the one he used to read to us every night before bed… I thought, maybe, we could read it together?!”

Silence. 

“Zayn?... Look! I’ve got the book here, see! Don’t you think this is wonderful?! Isn’t this terrific?!— Zayn… don’t you remember? When it was late, and father used to carry me upstairs while you followed close behind and then he tuck me into bed then pull out his big book, this book, and unfurl the ribbon before opening and reading from were he left of last time and would continue until we both were fast asleep then we would have dreams of what it would be like, you know?! To live in Eden! To go on long adventurers fighting monsters, protect innocent people, and to risk it all for the greater good!”

More silence. 

“Zayn… I’m sorry—for bothering you.”

I then stood up, hugging fathers book, and began to walk off. I didn’t get far before Zayn grabbed my arm and pulled me into his tight embrace, still not saying a word. Confused; unsure what to do, I just stood there as he held me, listening to his racing heart. 

As he held me, his heart slowly calmed down then I felt him slowly loosen his grip around me. I pulled back slightly to look up at his face seeing that he didn’t appear angry anymore, instead he was weak, sorrowful, and staring distantly into my eyes. Reaching down, he pulled fathers book from my arms and walked off with it, not saying a word. In a daze, I just stood there as he walked off disappearing downstairs.

Shortly, I returned to my senses, and went downstairs looking for Zayn but I couldn't find him. He wasn’t in the kitchen, or the living room, or mothers sewing room. It wasn’t until I caught the smell of smoke and saw the back door agape did I think to check outside. 

It was cold. I saw Zayn standing there, illuminated gently by flickering orange light. His cold wraith masked by deep sadness had returned to his eyes as he stood straight and looked down upon fathers book burning! 

I rushed to the book wanting to lunge at it saving it from the flames but was pulled back by Zayn grabbing me by the shoulder. In a soft yet direct voice, he spat “Beth, don’t be stupid”. 

My brother disappeared after that, mother was so furious; she sent him to stay with our Aunties for a bit as a form of punishment and to keep us separated, at least for a short while. 

It was quiet without Zayn, the house felt empty. Most of our belongings were now tightly packed away in boxes so nothing felt real anymore. The house was like a shell, an uncanny place where everything is so similar yet alien. It was a lonely world.

Mother spent most of her time in the garden, it's where she found solace. She spent her time wandering around talking to her collection of rose bushes, orchids, and ivy. Occasionally she would stop and prune away at a part of the plant, cutting it into shape and contouring them to her image and grand design. 

Like me, she shared the common interest of fantasy, specifically the Lovecraftian horrors. She loved to talk about what it must be like to live as one of her plants and how she appeared very much like an eldritch horror akin to a god!

Eventually the day came. I was woken up very early in the morning and mother helped me get ready for the day while a team of strange men wandered around the house taking away all the boxes. Soon, we were on our way on a long journey, I wasn't sure how long though exactly, I had fortunately slept most of the way. 

When I awoke, I saw a new place… I didn’t like it. The buildings were all too tall, dirty and drenched in graffiti. There were so few trees everywhere and the ones that did appear were thin and sickly. Along all the walls with big bold red lettering was a canvas of missing posters, not that was weird, back home we had similar posters everywhere as well but here there really felt to be more.

Out of the car, my mother dragged me along through a busy city square, the sounds of cars still screaming out. I was told we were going on a journey to try and find my brother who had arrived a few hours later with our aunties. It had only been a week. 

I wasn’t pleased to be meeting my brother.

The sky darkened as unforeseen rain began to fall. Not wanting to get soaked through, we began to run. Luckily, we weren’t far from the restaurant and managed to arrive not entirely drenched. 

Inside, across on the other side of the restaurant, sitting alone at a circular table was Zayn, face darkened by shadows casted by his hooded jacket. Besides his feet was the backpack he took when he originally left and the aunties large handbags. The rest of the hour was a blur, Mother exchanged pleasantries with my Auties while me and Zayn sat in silence avoiding eye contact not saying a word. When the food arrived, I couldn’t eat.

I wished this would just end and after an eternity it did. For the last hour I had fazed out not paying much attention to anything, it wasn’t until I saw everyone else standing up did I know it was time to leave. Disappointingly, my mother didn’t want me to go with her, instead headed with Zayn and my Aunties to the new house while she dealt with the car and truck. I wasn’t to protest but I knew it would be in vain, so I just went along with it and headed to the door.

Standing by the exit of the building, I stopped and listened to the rain outside which had now become thunderous with the occasional harsh bolt of lightning. I was ready to leave into the storm when I felt Zayn drape his jacket over my shoulders. Surprised, I turned to look directly at him for the first time tonight. I smiled weakly at him as I put the jacket on properly zipping it up.

Zayn holding my hand, we began our walk to our new house being led by our Aunties who kept reassuring us that the walk wasn’t that far but that really didn’t help with how miserable it was.

Just over the bridge they promised, not too far now, you can just about see it. The bridge wasn’t long, spanning just across the river which was an aggressive torrent in the storm. Terrified, I tightly held my brother's hand and leaned closer into him. Through the rain and tears I could barely see but kept trusting him to keep me safe. Halfway across the bridge, when a thunderous bellow followed by a sharp bright light shocked me. Petrified, I turned to hug my brother tightly for protection…

The police say he must’ve tripped and fallen into the river but I couldn’t be true! I was there! I was holding his hand the moment it happened! He could not have fallen! He cannot be dead?! But people don’t just disappear.

[isisparker]

My marvelous MPUB theorists, ever since I’ve realized a good bulk of us like theorizing and speculating what the heck is going on with this show, for my own benefit I compiled a timeline of the events that happened 500 years ago. I know they were told in flashbacks, but I thought it’d be more helpful in the order I believe that the events unfolded. 

It’s pretty up to date with the latest episode, but since I also wanted to share it with you all, if I’m missing something please let me know and I’ll edit this! As the episodes reveal more and more, I’ll do my best to keep up and edit so this tells a more comprehensive story!

Weol Ju’s Past Life [updated: as of Episode 11*]

Weol Ju living her [best life] with her mom, both gifted shamans in their own right [Weol Ju deals with dreams while her mom, I believe, is more into future reading]. 

Weol Ju and her mother sometimes go to the caves where the Cinnabar, a sacred rock meant for both its healing abilities and chasing away evil spirits, resides.

Weol Ju’s mother is against Weol Ju using her gift. Tells her to see a matchmaker, advises her to get married [and essentially lead a normal life]. Weol Ju scoffs at that and says that she’s let fate bring her love and THAT’s when she’ll marry.

The Cinnabar takes human [female] form at night to visit the locals. On one of her nightly strolls, she comes across a handsome man and falls in love at first sight. *

The Queen prays to the Sacred Tree to help heal the Crown Prince.

The Court Lady approaches the Queen, telling her that there is a shaman that could possibly help the Crown Prince.

The Queen sends out a Royal Command to Weol Ju.

Weol Ju and the Queen meet. The Queen orders Weol Ju to read the Crown Prince’s dreams.

Weol Ju reads the Crown Prince’s dream and immediately tells the Queen what’s troubling him: vengeful spirits that the Royal Family had killed are haunting his dreams.

Weol Ju advises that the spirits need to be comforted instead of destroyed. She says that they should dig up the bodies in the woods, place them in graves where the sun hits [I’m assuming in an open field] and have a memorial for them.

The Queen needs a location for the bodies in the woods, so Weol Ju requests for a couple days with the Crown Prince [reading his dreams] so she can talk to the spirits and find out where they are buried.

The Queen gives her approval. States that to save the Crown Prince’s life, she’s willing to do anything. [probably not a big tidbit but who knows, this may be important motivation later on?]

The Cinnabar and her handsome suitor often meet at night and she offers pieces of the rock [herself]. He insists that he’ll keep on gifting these pieces of cinnabar stones to those that need healing. * 

The first couple of nights Weol Ju spends in the Crown Prince’s dreams are restless and tense. She’s doing her job and comforting the souls.

The Crown Prince awakens during one of her sessions and asks for her to hear his story since she’s spent this entire time hearing the stories of all these spirits she’s been helping. 

The Crown Prince admits to Weol Ju that he heard her voice from the start [of her healing him] and immediately fell in love.

The Crown Prince heals and [I’m assuming] they found the bodies of those vengeful ghosts and gave them a proper burial.

The Queen meets with Weol Ju. Weol Ju says she won’t enter the Crown Prince’s chambers anymore as she was able to comfort all the spirits that haunted the Crown Prince. The Queen agrees that the Crown Prince looks better and that he’s smiling now. The Queen expresses her gratitude on behalf of the Royal Family. She wants to compensate Weol Ju but Weol Ju doesn’t want anything for it as she’s happy to have helped.

The Queen won’t take no for an answer and delivers many gifts to Weol Ju.

Weol Ju looks bothered by having received all these gifts. Reason why? Because she and the Crown Prince started to fall in love with each other.

The Crown Prince seeks Weol Ju out and confesses his unwavering love to her. Weol Ju is hesitant as she thinks he’s just really grateful for her helping him. 

The Crown Prince makes himself sincere and finds ways to see and spend time with her. Enter his childhood friend, Kim Won Hyung. He is also the handsome suitor that meets with the Cinnabar. The Crown Prince introduces his friend to Weol Ju. He also uses “hanging out with his childhood friend at night” as an excuse to see Weol Ju.

When Weol Ju leaves after every night she spends with the Crown Prince, Won Hyung walks her home. They inform the Crown Prince that they talk [teasing that Won Hyung shares stories about him to her].

The people in and around the palace start to notice the “dazed [besotted] look” on the Crown Prince’s face. People start speculating and gossiping. Talks about how much valuables she received from the Queen, how she probably seduced the Crown Prince, that he visits her every night. Overall opinion? Weol Ju had “bewitched” the Crown Prince.

Weol Ju’s mom overhears the rumors. She’s [rightly] bothered.

The Queen and her Court Lady speculate as to what is up with the Crown Prince now. The Court Lady thinks that maybe Weol Ju’s abilities had a side-effect.

The Queen summons Weol Ju. The Queen confronts Weol Ju for being involved with the Crown Prince. She warns Weol Ju to never set foot inside the palace again and that if she sees her again, she’ll be killed. The Queen also threatens Weol Ju’s mom as well. 

Weol Ju starts to have a restless night as she contemplates what to do when the Crown Prince visits her [again]. 

She frets and wonders if he came alone, if anyone saw them, what was he doing here? She also tells him that if he keeps this up, he will get both herself and her mom in serious trouble.

The Crown Prince assures her that as his future role involves protecting a “whole kingdom”, he can, OF COURSE, protect the woman he loves. He asks her to trust him.

They embrace, him happily and, despite her still feeling troubled, she returns his embrace.

Following day, the Queen informs the Crown Prince that the arranged marriage they had planned for prior to when he had gotten ill is back on now that he’s healthy again. He is to marry Lord Kim Jin’s daughter. Lord Kim Jin is the father of Won Hyung. The Crown Prince starts to protest against it, but she tells him to have her [Weol Ju] disappear from his mind and if not, she [the Queen] will have her disappear for real.

Weol Ju’s mom has a premonition about Weol Ju being in danger.

Weol Ju’s mom talks to Weol Ju. Instructs her to not only dress like her mom but also head off to her uncle’s home in Suwon quickly [as time is running out] and to wear her hair up in a bun.

Weol Ju argues that if she wears her hair in a bun that people will talk because that particular hairstyle signifies her marital status [and she isn’t married, obviously].

Weol Ju’s mom point-blank tells her that there’s more to wedding than a marriage, like LOVE. [ accidentallyadramablog helped clarify in a reblog that Weol Ju’s mom let her daughter know that she knew about her loss of virginity. Netflix subs didn’t exactly make that translation clear. also I myself am not familiar with sageuks so thank you, lovely, for the additional commentary!]

Weol Ju is stunned that her mom basically confirmed she knew of her and the Crown Prince’s affair/relationship.

Weol Ju’s mom talks about the rumors that she knows her daughter is also aware of and that Weol Ju’s now in danger because of it and must seek safety by leaving. She can’t fathom doing this alone and without her mom.

Weol Ju’s mom gives her binyeo to hold onto and find comfort in. That she needs to hold tight and that it will eventually bring Weol Ju the person she desperately seeks. This seems more like a prophecy because she then asks Weol Ju if her advice has ever proven her wrong.

The [infamous] Night Weol Ju leaves, she walks past one of the spots she and the Crown Prince usually meet at. He's planning to give her a jade ring. She watches with longing and sadness, saying goodbye to him from afar.

Weol Ju walks away. She doesn’t see Won Hyung watching her leave.

Won Hyung enters Weol Ju’s house and kills Weol Ju’s mom and sets fire to her home. Unbeknowst to him, the Cinnabar [who has been getting some bad vibes off of him] witnesses him coming out of the house after having committed murder and arson. She decides to stop seeking him out. *

Weol Ju gets a bit outside of the village, at an overlook when she hears and sees a big fire raging at one of the houses.

Weol Ju runs back and realizes that it is HER HOUSE that is burning.

Weol Ju enters and sees her mom, dressed like Weol Ju [hair and all], dead. Weol Ju screams for help while holding her mother. No one comes.

Weol Ju runs to one of the local governor’s, pleading for help. She gets denied help.

Weol Ju runs into Won Hyung, who has blood on one of his arms. She sees the blood and he instantly explains that he had seen an assassin coming out of her house and ran after them. By the time he came back to her house, it was already burning.

She realizes that the assassin thought that her mother was her.

Won Hyung tells her that she has to leave this place quickly.

Weol Ju begs him to take her to the Crown Prince.

Won Hyung says that she can’t see the Crown Prince ever again. When she asks what he means, he explains that the Crown Prince is marrying a woman that the Queen had chosen for him. That the Crown Prince wanted to meet up with her [Weol Ju] one last time to tell of his upcoming marriage.

In a daze, Weol Ju [defeated, hurt, and angry] heads up to where the Sacred Tree and its alter is at. Weol Ju destroys the alter in a rage. She looks over at the village and curses everyone there. She proceeds to hang herself. She dies. A moment later, her binyeo falls from her hair and the ground below her feet breaks upon its impact. The tree crackles and bursts into flames because of her curse.

The spirit of the Sacred Tree [specifically its sorrow] mystically merges into the soul of Weol Ju/Crown Prince’s unborn son.

Won Hyung, notices that Cinnabar has been pulling away from him and seeing him less and less. He follows her one night and discovers where she [the Cinnabar stone] resides.  He enters the cave with the plan to gather all the cinnabar stones and sell them to help him with his plan to overthrow the throne from the Crown Prince’s rule.  The Cinnabar comes out of the stone and tries to stop him and discovers his true self and motivation. Won Hyung “kills” her. *

The Queen prepares the Crown Prince for his arranged marriage. 

The Crown Prince, meanwhile, had discovered [too late] Won Hyung’s plan and the crimes he had committed to getting as far as he did, even making sure that his little sister marries into the Royal Family. He had planned to use the day of his wedding to Lord Kim Jin’s daughter, the day that he thinks his friend will believe his plan will finally come to fruition, as a way to trap him and make him pay for his deceit. *

The Day of the Crown Prince’s Wedding to Lord Kim Jin’s daughter begins with the Crown Prince immediately declaring treason on Won Hyung. Won Hyung denies the charges at first, but his pride and anger eventually have him admitting that he did plot an uprising with the many people he paid off for his loyalty and the weapons he amassed [the money he got for the cinnabar stones]. Most of all, he admitted that he killed Weol Ju’s mother and in doing so managed to rid Weol Ju.*

In a rage, the Crown Prince kills Won Hyung for his betrayal. * Yeom/Lord Kim Jin sided with the Crown Prince’s decision to execute his son.

Later that day, * the Crown Prince is seen, tired and worn, dragging a bloody sword up to where the skeleton of the Sacred Tree stands. He looks up at the burnt branches, defeated and heartbroken. He talks of how he failed Weol Ju and he promises to find her in the next life. That if he does, he’ll do a better job at protecting her. Even if he has to sacrifice his soul to make that happen.

Crown Prince, real name of Yi Hon, kills himself.

Updated from info revealed in Episode 11 - * Episode 12 **

[thememoriesofaqueen]

The Things We Do - Part 7

Masterlist (x)

A/N: The following chapter is split into multiple parts and has a few time jumps as well as flashbacks. I hope you enjoy to follow Elijah’s life after Katherine’s departure, I still find it hard to write him. This chapter contains a few things of The Originals, but it’s not entirely / not really canon, I know that.                English is not my first language      → I do not own anything of the TVD - Universe and I’m not affiliated or                   associated with the writers etc. this is only a headcanon.

Pairing: Kalijah ( Katherine / Elijah )

Setting: post TVD 4x23, no cured Katherine.

TW: blood, violence, murder, depression

Word Count: 7.833

__________________________________________________________

`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· 7 months later `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·

The past months had been tiring. Though the weeks after Katerina’s departure had been pleasing as he was finally able to avenge Kol. If it wasn’t for Katerina, he had never known. He wanted justice, because no one would hurt his family and get away with it!  ‘Always and forever’ included Kol too and even though he hadn’t seen him ever since he left Mystic Falls after their mother’s attempt of killing them, he felt remorse because he wasn’t able to help him, he was not able to prevent his murder. He was family, he was his brother, even if they weren’t always on the best terms. He didn't even got the chance to say goodbye and now he was gone forever.

He was in Mystic Falls for days, capturing Elena and her not-so-dead brother Jeremy with the help of one of his witches. He hadn’t known Jeremy was alive, he didn’t know how this was even possible. Perhaps someone brought him back, perhaps Elena lied to him and let Katerina believe she was indeed succesful in killing the young Gilbert. And he had seriously left Katerina for this. It angered him even more, though the reason of his revenge was solely about his brother, it should only be about him.

He had them locked up in a room for three days without letting them know who was behind all of this. He let them have food and something to drink, the young Gilbert was a human after all and he wasn’t a monster - he was at least not into starving a human. He just wanted to make sure that there was no vervain in their blood.

After those three days he had revealed himself. He had to admit he had enjoyed their fear. They were defenseless, weakened. They deserved death for what they had done to Kol, they deserved to have their hearts ripped out. But that would be merciful and he didn’t exactly feel like being merciful or forgiving. He intended to let them suffer more than just a few moments. Preferably an entire lifetime. In addition, he wasn’t keen on risking the hunters curse if he killed Jeremy.

That’s why he compelled each of them and with the help of his witch it would be a permanent compulsion which wouldn’t loose its effects if he gets neutralized. He made them forget that the other sibling is alive and he made them feel the sorrow, the pain of losing the entire family for eternity. Every day they would be reminded that they are alone, that their family is dead because of them. They would never know the happiness of having a family ever again. In addition, as a precautionary measure, he had also compelled Elena to kill herself if anyone of her friends decided to go after his family again, knowing that she was the weakspot of the Salvatore brothers.

However, ever since he had returned to New Orleans, he had felt nothing but exertion. The city which once belonged to his family hid more challenges than he thought. Taking back what belonged to his family and simultaneously protect Niklaus’s unborn child needed all of his attention, all of his time. He barely found time for himself without anyone disturbing him. He barely felt like he his mind could rest for a second.

If he didn’t worried about his family’s future or about the city, his mind wandered. He would probably never forget the hurt in Katerina’s eyes when he had met her the last time. It haunted him to this very day, even though he apologized for the mistakes he had made. It didn’t matter. He knew he can only forgive himself if she absolves him from his mistakes.

He also knew she needed time and he really hoped that time would help. He’d say he is patient, uncomplaining. With her, however, it was different. Just a few days after departing, he longed to see her, to hear her voice. He wasn’t delusional, he knew he probably won’t see her anytime soon. However, the thought of being within her reach was very tempting. If it weren’t for his word he gave her, he might have even done it.

After three months he found himself checking his phone more frequently. He knew that she wouldn’t call him after such a short time but he wouldn’t take the risk of missing a call or a message from her.

In order to distract him from the woman who managed to catch his attention without being even present, he focused all his energy into reclaiming his brother’s throne. It kept him from becoming insane, even though he continued to check his phone in privat every morning and evening.

Perhaps he seemed to be too dedicated to his aims, too ambitious with helping Niklaus. Perhaps he wanted too much. It was enough to trigger his brother’s paranoia, leading him into doubting his value in Niklaus’ mission. Yet again Niklaus betrayed his trust when he shoved the dagger into his heart and everything went black.

Four months later he awoke.

It took every inch of control in him to not be consumed by anger about what his brother has done. How he betrayed him yet again despite him devoting every free minute of his existence to Niklaus cause. The only person who stopped him from doing what he glady would have done - coming after Niklaus and punch him - was his sister.

During his absence Rebekah had decided to join their family in New Orleans, even though the only reason she did so was because of him not returning her calls. Seeing Rebekah for the first time in months relaxed him, although his vengeance against Niklaus was not forgotten. It was actually rather sad that Niklaus still didn’t believe that family and love were powerful things.

Right after feeding, showering and getting dressed so he was presentable again, he unplugged his phone from the charger. He almost didn’t dare to turn it on, afraid that he had missed her call. It’s been seven months since they have departed. Seven months since he heard her voice last time, seven months since he had last seen her.

Even though seven months were nothing for a vampire, especially not for someone as old as Katerina it was definitely enough time to make up her mind. What if she indeed was ready to forgive him and tried to call him? And he, being daggered, was unable to answer? He knew she wouldn’t try to call again. She would fear he rejected her yet again, would think he didn’t want her. She would think he had played her and his declaration of love was just another lie she surely heard often in her lifetime.

He couldn’t stand that thought. It made him angry, almost wrathful. About everything, about Niklaus but mostly about himself. If he hadn’t treated her so disrespectful in the first place, he wouldn’t have found himself in the situation he was in now.

Nevertheless he had to turn his phone on, despite being afraid there was a missed call, a message from her. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and took a sip, his eyes never leaving the screen. It was pathetic how afraid he was of a cellphone. He hated the way that little device managed to have power over him. His heart sank when his home screen showed him several missed calls and messages.

He emptied his glass and finally took a seat while going through his notifications. Fortunately, most of the calls and messages were from his sister. However, there were a few unknown numbers who had called him. He could identify all but one numbers as simple callbacks. One was a tailor he had requested before he was daggered, one was a company where he had ordered some things for their new residence and so on. The last unknown number, however, was a number he hadn’t seen before. It was not a callback.

He felt almost nervous when he dialed that number. That nervousness was so strong, it let his heart beat faster. What if that was Katerina? What if she was ready to forgive him and he had failed her again? He knew he won’t get another chance. She’d be lost forever. He closed his eyes and run a hand over his face, his free hand grabbed the empty glass tightly but not too tightly to burst it. The phone rang and rang and with every rang, he tensed a little bit more. Until finally someone released him.

It was almost like the universe tried to mock him. It was a cold call, someone who tried selling him something no one needs. Part of him was angry that he wasted his time with such a nonsense, but the greater part was relieved it wasn’t Katerina who had called him. Though that meant she still isn’t able to forgive him.

He exhaled and ran his hand through his hair, despite being set to sleep for months, he felt tired. He got up and poured himself a new glass of whiskey when he heard a knock. To be honest he wasn’t in the mood for a talk and he really hoped it wasn’t Niklaus who wished to speak to him, but he can’t hide forever. He took a deep breath.

“Come on in”

He leaned against the bar and let a hand slide into his pocket while taking a sip of his glass. The door opened and to his relief it was Rebekah who joined him.

“Elijah, is everything alright?”

He could see the worried expression on her face and he knew it was his fault. Usually, he would go right back to buisness after being daggered, but this time it was different.

“I didn’t wish to worry you, dear sister. I just needed time for myself.”

He forced a little smile on his lips, even though he wasn’t feeling like smiling. Oddly enough the hours after being undaggered were the first hours in months he actually had for himself. He had thrown himself into work in order to distract himself from thinking about Katerina. And what did he get in return? A dagger through his heart.

Rebekah closed the door with a sigh.

“Nik is a bloody fool for betraying you. But he’ll do it again. I’m leaving, Elijah, and I suggest you do the same. It will do you no good if you stay here. Come with me”

He lowered his gaze and slowly shook his head. Even though Rebekah was right and he would be better off if he leaves, he just couldn’t do it. Despite being angry with Niklaus for what he has done, he still needed to stay. His brother needs him, as well as his unborn niece. He stepped towards his sister and hugged her.

“I wish you find the happiness you’re searching for, Rebekah. But I can’t leave, even if I wish to do so. Niklaus needs me, even though he won’t admit it.”

Rebekah tried to change his mind but she knew it was pointless. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and let her go.

__________________________________________________________

Two days later he was back into his ‘old self’, He knew he wouldn’t be to anyone’s use if he kept thinking about his brother’s betrayal and about how he is probably doing it again in the future. He also needed to do something in order to keep that particular sting away from him, which kept hunting him ever since figuring out Katerina hasn’t yet called him.

Fortunately, there was still a lot to do and a lot he could wrap his mind around. The witches still weren’t cooperative. There was something in the air ... he could almost swear they would soon find an unpleasant surprise coming to their family.

He was sitting in the living room, reading through his mother’s grimoire. He knew they needed a witch who knows about all the little secrets of the french quarter and luckily, he had managed to find a witch who was willing to help them. In return, he agreed to help the young witch with her powerful magic. Despite being descended from a powerful witch-line, he never embraced his magical powers. Finn and Kol were quite dedicated of practicing magic but he never was. Back then, he was rather out in the woods, training his sword fighting skills. He didn’t regret it because even though he never did magic by himself, he had a great knowledge about it.

“Reading old grimoires won’t help us solve the vampire problem.”

Elijah looked up, his gaze followed Niklaus as he took a seat right in front of him.

“We need to get to the core reasons of the problems. Additionally, it would help if you didn't cause more problems and stop offending those who haven’t picked a side yet.”

Elijah dropped his gaze and looked back at the grimoire, therefore ending the talk. At least that is what he wished to do.

“You’re still angry about your timeout? And here I thought my gifts would bring you some joy. Were they not to your taste?”

Without looking up, the Original flipped the page before he answered. He remembered his gifts too well and it was rather messy to get them away.

“Dropping compelled, bloodstained girls in front of my door isn’t exactly what I consider as a peace offering. I won’t feed on them. I would really appreciate it if you accept that”

He heard Niklaus standing up and felt shortly afterwards a pat on the back. He finally looked up, staring right into Niklaus’s eyes, showing him no sign of forgiveness to what he had done to him.

“Alright then, take your time. I’ll be in the attic so I won’t cause any drama to your precious plans”

The Hybrid didn’t even try to hold back his mockery. Elijah, however, just ignored it and gave his attention back to the grimoire until he finally found what he had been looking for.

The following day he found his way to the young witches quarters in order of fulfilling his part of the deal. He knew it won’t be done with just one page. Nevertheless he intended to keep his promise of helping the young witch with her magic.

However, after he visited again after three week, things have changed. Her once shiny eyes went dull and she didn’t smile anymore.

“Should I leave?” he suggested, fearing the young witch wasn’t in the mood for practicing a new spell.

“How can you stand by your brother's side if he drags innocent beings into his war?”

Davina asked, her voice cold. Elijah wasn’t Klaus, but nevertheless he was the same monster. Helping her only to get a benefit from her. A monster who feed on innocent beings.

Elijah knew immediately that something has happened, something with involved Niklaus.

“What has my brother done?” he asked with a serious voice. All of his features hardened, knowing that Niklaus once again seemed to have destroyed all of his efforts of bringing peace into their home.

“He poisened Tim. And he tried to poison me too, because I haven’t picked a side. Tell me, Elijah, how can you stand on the side of someone who just rips people’s happiness away, who kills mercilessly because he doesn’t accept other peoples choices?”

Despite being desperate, her voice didn’t grew loud. Sometimes the quiet things are the noisiest. She didn’t felt like shouting or crying, she already did this the days before. Now she just wanted to understand why someone who agreed to help her, someone who didn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do despite needing a favor from her, could still continue to defend a monster.

Elijah didn’t know about Niklaus latest actions. He had succesfully tracked down vampires which conspired against his family and ended them. He didn’t know about his brother’s actions against the young witch who was supposed to help them. He couldn’t even find an explaination on why he did so, why he destroyed everything he built up in the last weeks. He knew that they needed a witch who would side with them, not against them. Now Niklaus has reached the exact opposite.

“I’m sorry for your loss. I know how it feels like to have a loved one ripped away from you without being able to save said person” he was referring to Katerina who he had lost centuries ago because he wasn’t able to convince Niklaus to spare her. Even now she was gone because of his loyality towards his brother who keeps pushing him and his efforts of redeeming him away.

“It’s my disease of wanting to believe my brother can be saved and I still believe his unborn child will give him the peace he needs. Call it blind loyality if you want,” he didn’t expect her to understand. Family was important to him, now as ever before. Niklaus had many flaws but he was still his brother, still his family.

Nevertheless the young witch was just a child. A child with enormous powers but still a child. As well as Timothy was. A human, who wasn’t involved into the supernatural world and whose only fault was to fall in love with a powerful girl. It was wrong and Niklaus should have known this.

“I assume you know our agreement is over. It’s not because of you Elijah. You are actually one of the polite vampires I have ever met. But I can’t help you anymore. Not after what your brother has done”

Elijah knew it was pointless to try to convince her to help them. He let her have the page with the spell as some sort of apology and left. As he walked through the city he couldn’t help but think about the young girl who was already burdened with loss. It kinda reminded him of Katerina who too was burdened with loss while being quite young. Both of them were valuable, too. He only hoped that Davina wouldn’t end like Katerina. He didn’t wish for her to suffer the same cruel fate as his Katerina.

▬

“NIKLAUS? WE HAVE TO TALK!”

he shouted upon his arrival at home. He took of his jacket and folded it before placing it over a chair back.

“What’s with all the shouting? We have supernatural hearing. Do you want to wake the neighboors?”

Elijah turned around and put one hand into his pocket. This was hardly the time for making jokes, he wondered if Niklaus was aware of that. He pointed at his brother, making sure he knows exactly that he meant him.

“Could you have the decency to explain why you threatened the only witch who was willing to help us? Why you try so desperately to destroy every progress I - we - made?”

Because to be honest, it was beyond his understanding.

“You either side with us or against us. There is no middle ground. Better kill everyone who is a possible danger to our family, to my unborn child, than having to wear the consequences. I thought you would know that much, brother”

Elijah sighed and grew quite frustrated with Niklaus.

“Do you understand I was working of getting her trust? Are you getting so delusional to destroy every possible chance for our family? This isn’t a game. If you want your child to be save, we need allies, not enemys. And right now we have lost one possible ally to our enemys.”

Klaus rose his eyebrows, because he couldn’t bring himself to agree with Elijah. They needed allies which are loyal to them only. If they manage to talk someone over, the enemy is able to do the same. Elijah was obviously a hopeful fool, he rather take those matters in his own hands.

“You know, there is always the possibilty to just kill them. Witches are nothing without their elders. They’ve proofed already too many times they don’t want to be on our side. They continue to disrespect our family while threatening us. If you want to end those witches being a threat to us, we have to take action against the ones being in command.”

Elijah tried to avoid solving the witch-problem like this. Killing the elder would destroy the balance of power but it would be to his family’s advantage.

“If we are about doing so, we need someone new in command. Someone the witches will accept and someone who accept our claim on the city”

Klaus nodded, agreeing with Elijah for once. He has already thought about that problem, but he might have already found a solution everyone is going to be happy with.

▬

Just two week later it was done. Apparently it weren’t the present witches who caused the problems. It was just one corrupt one who decided on turning the other witches against them. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough. Someone had used the ashes of their mother to get more power and as it turned out it had always been their mother who was behind all those claims that Niklaus’s child would be dangerous, a threat. They had to do everything in their power to stop that madness and fortunately, they had succeed. .

Elijah loosened his tie and tried to ignore his bloodstained button-down shirt sticking on his skin. He unbuttoned his collar and threw his blood soaking handkerchief away - it was beyond repair.

“I’m stepping away for a few days” he announced, he had to get away from New Orleans for a bit. He felt tired and that wasn’t only because he hardly found sleep in the past weeks. He had worked around the clock: Helping Niklaus prepare the nursery, defeating the rebelling and conspiring witches, ripping hearts from treacherous vampires, making plans for the future and checking his phone in hope of receiving a message or a call from Katerina. If he could grew gray hair, he probably would have had many by now.

“You can’t leave now! I need you. The baby can come in the next two weeks.”

“I’ve said I need a few days off. I’m not going to disappear for weeks. I won’t miss the chance of witnessing the birth of my niece.”

He tried to calm Niklaus down, annoyed by his demanding voice. He wasn’t in the mood for a discussion, he wanted a shower and leave as fast as possible. The hybrid seemed to consider his words and finally nodded, leaving Elijah alone.

He wasn’t sure where he wanted to go, he just knew that he wanted out of New Orleans. He drove around for hours, because driving helped to clear his mind. His body relaxed and he finally felt like he could breath for the first time in a very long time. He parked his car on a forest road and decided to go for a walk. Eventually, he came across a meadow and even though it wasn’t anything special, he suddenly felt a strange pull while watching the wildflowers swaying in the breezes. Suddenly he knew exactly where he wanted to go, where he would find the salvation he was looking for.

It took him two hours until arriving at the next airport and compelling himself a flight to NYC. Usually, he would book his tickets like a decent being but right now he had no time left to lose, he needed to go to a special place. A place where he once was happy.

__________________________________________________________

`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· 4 years after Katherine’s departure `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·

“Can we talk, Elijah?”

Elijah lifted his gaze and looked at his sister. Rebekah had returned back home after spending some more time in Europe. Ever since then she lived with them and took great joy into being an aunt. It was the closest thing to a baby of her own and he was happy that his sister finally seemed to be truly happy and in peace with herself.

“Of course. Is Hope already asleep?”

He asked, knowing that Rebekah loved bringing her niece to bed. Sometimes, Niklaus and Rebekah even fight about on who is having the honor. To be fair he couldn’t deny the effect Hope has on him too. If he didn’t burry himself with work in order to distract himself, he spend his time with his niece. He played the piano for her, , told her storys and played with her, even though that often destroyed his expensive suits with mud or felt pens.

“Yes, she is. Sleeping like a perfect angel.”

she took a seat and watched over the books which were lying at Elijah’s desktop, wondering what he tried to find.

“Do you want a drink?” he asked his sister and when she nodded, he got up and poured them two glasses of whiskey, handing one of the glasses to the blonde.

“What is it that you want to talk about?” he asked, closing the books and placed them back into the bookshelf. He always preferred tidiness.

Rebekah took a sip of the glass, not entirely sure how she should begin.

“I’ve noticed you’re...you’re absent, Elijah. I thought you’re just in a mood, but you’re like this for months. Perhaps even longer. I would have noticed sooner but you are really good at hiding your feelings. I’m worried, Elijah. Perhaps you wanna talk?”

His jaw tightened, unwilling showing the blonde she was indeed right in her assumption that something was wrong. She just couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They have regained back their home, they lived in peace. Hope grew up perfectly and Nik was in a good mood for most of the time. She knew he took a liking into worrying too much but in her opinion there wasn’t anything to worry about right now.

“I’m alright. You don’t have to worry”

It was a lie, but he didn’t want to burden his sister. She was happy and she deserved feeling that happiness. She shouldn’t have to worry about her older brother. If anything, it was his responsibility to make sure his little sister felt alright.

Rebekah frowned, not buying Elijah’s words.

“Are you sure? You burry yourself with work and you don’t really go out. Remember the times you used to show off your suits at balls?”

Elijah couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing that his sister intended of making him laugh.

“I’m not showing off my suits. If anything I’m an example of a properly dressed man. Some would do well to draw some inspiration from me.”

The blonde smiled, relieved to know Elijah hadn't lost his sense of humor. Perhaps there is hope after all.

“And I do go out. Perhaps we just don’t have the same taste in soirées.”

Rebekah rosed an eyebrow, because she didn’t think that his lack of having fun - even though he was never really the type who could just enjoy something - was caused by having a different taste. Sure, she loved to attend wild partys, go shopping or having ‘girl-time’. Things Elijah wouldn’t enjoy for sure. Nevertheless they used to dine together, attend balls and visit theatres, present themselves to the public.

“I’ve noticed many times that you seem lost in thoughts when going through the streets of New Orleans. We have a chat, you and I, and suddenly you tune out. It’s like you forget where you are or that I’m here. Just to snap back to reality a few moments later.”

Elijah took a deep breath and a huge sip of his drink, before closing his eyes and massaging his eyelids. He felt like he had a headache and he wished that his sister wouldn’t be so attentive. He had tried to control that ... behavior of his in the last months but it only got worse. It already had gotten to the point that he felt like he was hallucinating.

………………………………………………………………………

“I think Hope already grew out of her clothes again. Time for a new attire. Fortunately, the new season starts next week so I can buy her everything which is fashionable. She will look like a princess”

Elijah couldn’t help but smile and shake his head in the same moment. His sister already bought three bags full of new clothes for their niece and yet she wanted more.

“Are you making an advantage of me accompanying you to carry your bags?” he asked, finding the situation already entertaining. “You know I’m only accompanying you because you promised to continue bothering me if I refuse.” his sister had a way with getting what she wanted and if he wanted to find peace he had to grant her her wish.

“You are her uncle, you should be interested in what she is wearing. Just think...”

He hasn't heard the rest as someone caught his attention. His gaze rested upon a dark curly haired female, wearing high heels and a leather jacket and for one moment, the world seemed to stop. His heartbeat rose and his eyes widened. It couldn’t be, could it? Katerina? He squinted only to find out that said woman looked nothing like his Katerina. She was far shorter than the fivehundred year old vampire.

“... in a matching dress.”

Rebekah had finished her speech but he had missed the middle part. He blinked again and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down and turn his attention back to Rebekah.

………………………………………………………………………

That memory came up to his mind and unfortunately, it wasn’t the only time. He had started to see her over the past 15 months. Although it had never been her. New Orleans was filled with tourists, new people flowing through the streets with every day. Sometimes he caught the sight of a dark curly haired female and he couldn’t help but think it is his Katerina. Sometimes he would follow the woman, wondering if it is her, because he couldn’t tell anymore as his mind continued to play tricks on him. One time when he took a walk through the quarter, a familar scent had hit him, a perfume she used to wear. He was to 100% certain it was Katerina without even considering that someone else could use the same perfume. He had tracked the person down only to find out she didn’t even look like Katerina.

He wasn’t a fool, he knew she would never come to New Orleans, at least not as long as Niklaus was in town. He doubted she would search for him anyway, believing she would prefer to make a call or message him. She has always been very cautious, she would never take the risk to be in his brother’s reach.

Nevertheless his mind continued to play tricks on him, making him believe he catched a glimpse of her, which got his hopes up. He even called her name once because he thought he had seen her.

It was actually terrifying how powerful his mind was when it comes to her. She was in his thoughts and even though he tried to distract himself, he couldn’t help but think of her.

Elijah looked at his sister again, trying to hide his memories behind a stoic mask.

“It happens that I thought I’ve seen someone in the crowd. A ghost of the past, if you will”

Rebekah frowned, because she didn’t believe he just saw a ghost of the past. Actually, it’s almost like he hoped to see someone, like he waited for someone.

“And then there is the thing with your phone. There is a spark in your eyes when it starts to ring, an excitement. But it is gone the minute you know who it is. If I wouldn’t know better I’d say you are waiting for someone to call. Perhaps it’s even connected with the people or person you think you see in the streets”

She was aware it’s an awfully big assumption - out of all people Elijah was the one who didn’t let people in. He had always minded his own business, even though that meant pampering Niks ass most of the time. He was beyond calm and it never really seemed like someone could disturb his calmness for more than a few days, if anything. But this strange behavoir lasted for months and he tried really hard to cover it up. There were just minor things which seemed to be off. She didn’t think anyone would notice it if they weren’t paying attention and didn’t know him like she did.

And she could tell she was right. She could see it because he tensed and there was something in his eyes that she couldn’t exactly describe. Longing? Fear? Pain? Perhaps all of the above?

Elijah was surprised by his sister’s analysis. He hadn’t felt watched, nevertheless Rebekah witnessed more than he intended to show. He thought about keeping silent, but that would be a childish reaction.

“Seems like you’re watching those detective stories again? Anything else?” he asked and tried to play it off with humor, even though he knew that Rebekah wouldn’t let this leave alone.

“One year ago you started to play the piano more frequently. I know you play it for Hope and I know she loves it. Sometimes, however, you play just to yourself. I don’t mind it, you’re gifted. It just strikes me that it’s almost always the same song - the Moonlight Sonata. Sometimes you vanish to NYC and come back two days later without any comprehensible reason. You say you have buisness there but I don’t really believe you.”

Elijah kept silent and emptied his glass. He wasn’t aware that he played the same song when he thinks he is alone. Playing the piano relaxed him and allowed him to clear his mind. He enjoyed it because he felt better when he did so, it calmed him. He hasn’t really thought about it before but he did now. There was a reason why he seemed to prefer to play the Moonlight Sonata. It was a masterpiece without doubt, but it wasn’t the only reason.

He remembered that Katerina once told him that she enjoyed the Moonlight Sonata. » It’s full of surprises. It starts of slowly, sounding sad and melanchonic. Some might say it’s easy to master. And it is easy to master. However it saves the best for the last. It gets happier in the second part and only a true master can play the third part. The Moonlight Sonata fools the listener. It appears to be weak but in reality it is a beast not everyone can tame. « That statement had surprised him, because he didn’t think she would enjoy classic music. On that evening he found out that Katherine still had depth, that she didn’t just care about herself. Someone who only cared about herself, a shallow person, wouldn’t describe a classic composition like that. They would say it’s boring or would just hear the music without feeling any meaning or emotion behind it. But she did. They have talked that evening a lot about music and he had found out that she also enjoyed The Four Seasons, especially Vivaldi’s ‘Summer’.

“I enjoy classic music. And I do have business in NYC, a small company which needs my attention.”

It wasn’t even a lie. He had taken a holding in a small company - even though it was just a disguise in order to justify his trips to NYC.

“Oh come on Elijah. I’m not some dumb douchebag. Who is the bloody fool who dared to break your heart? I’m going to drag her here so you can stop being moody.”

She was done playing that game of his. It was obvious that he wasn’t alright, that something was off. It was female intuition. And she would bet that it has something to do with a girl.

Elijah leaned back, knowing that he didn’t had the chance to deny it.

“Rebekah please. You won’t do such a thing, do you understand?”

There was a determination in his voice that won’t allow a discussion. Which meant that she was right and this girl must be important.

“Who is she? Do I know her? She must be pretty special if she manages to get into your mind. I thought I won’t live long enough to see that happen.”

She smiled, because it was rare that Elijah Mikaelson was in love. Even though it was odd that she didn’t seem to be interested in him. Her brother was charming, had manners. He was a gentleman, a man who was hard to find these days. Why would anyone want to reject him?

“It’s none of your business.” he replied a bit too cold. He really didn’t want to speak about her, not with his sister. He knew that Rebekah despises Katerina, he knew she would kill her within the blink of an eye. There was really no need to share the information on who his love interest was.

“Fine. Perhaps Nik provides me with information.” she had an evil smile on her lip and stood up. She knew she would get the information she wanted, even though she would never talk to Nik about something like that.

“Sit!”

Elijah has also gotten up and there was an authority in his voice that made Rebekah stop her movements and sit back down. Apparently it was serious.

He knew his sister would never run off to Niklaus. Nevertheless he couldn’t take the risk of him finding out about his unsuccesful love affair. It would only rip open old wounds. He paced around, not knowing what he should do. Eventually, however, he decided to tell her. It was the safest option. Perhaps his sister could understand it. She, out of all, was the one who clung to the idea of love. In addition he knew that Rebekah wouldn’t stop trying to find out.

“Promise me, give me your word you’ll be silent about it. If you really want to grant me some sort of happiness in the future, if you really love me as your brother, you won’t tell anyone. Do I have your word?”

He had stopped pacing around instead he leaned against his desk, right in front of Rebekah who was clearly surprised by her brothers reaction. Who the hell was the woman if he reacts like this?

“I promise, Elijah, you have my word.”

He believed his sister, knowing that she won’t tell anyone. She loved him and didn’t want him to get hurt. He took a deep breath before he said her name.

“It’s Katherine.”

Rebekah gasped for air. Katherine as in Katherine Pierce? Was he serious? Had he lost his mind?

“That cheap slut? Are you insane, brother?” she snapped, not believing he had fallen for her again.

“Rebekah! Lower your voice and don’t ever call her that again. Is that understood?”

The blonde jumped off her chair, glaring at her brother. He must have lost his mind. Perhaps he was a clone? She couldn’t imagine that he had fallen for her again, that just couldn’t be.

“She already ruined our family once. Do you want that to happen again?” her voice was a low hiss, “She is playing you, don’t you understand? I can’t believe you fell for her again. I can’t believe you’re being moody for months because of her! You must be crazy.”

“If you stop acting like a child, I could explain you. She doesn’t play me, as you call it. In fact I haven’t seen or heard anything from her for years.”

Rebekah stopped her rage, now sceptical raising an eyebrow. He hadn't seen her for years and still has feelings for her?

“That doesn’t change the fact that she is a bloody traitor that only brings harm to our family” she crossed her arms in front of her chest and rised her chin a little bit.

“Careful now, Rebekah. I assume you have already forgotten your relationship with that Donovan boy? The same one who took part in killing Finn? I as well can call him a traitor.”

His voice was calm but there was an anger in his eyes which made her slow down her temper. Elijah didn’t get angry easily and she didn’t want to push it.

“I’m sorry.”

Elijah had a point. She shouldn’t judge him in his choice of woman. In fact he was the one who encourage her into giving Matt a chance, because he had seen he made her happy. And if Katherine makes him happy... no, she didn’t like the idea, but she just wanted her brother to find happiness too.

Rebekah took a breath, “If you haven’t seen her in years, why are you acting like this? I thought you broke up?” her voice was softer now, more understanding. Her brother suffered and there had to be a reason for it.

Elijah pinched the bridge of his nose. “Back then when she gave me the cure, she let me decide where our relationship is going to go. I - I was a fool. I believed she was playing and using me and when she begged me to stay, I just .. left her behind. I broke her heart and I didn’t even realized it. More so, I denied my feelings for her. 4 years ago I’ve met her again and only then I realized the damage I have caused. I finally understood that our feelings were mutual and I’ve destroyed it. I still would have gone to New Orleans, but I should have handled it in another way. I basically dumped her, I didn’t gave her the chance to work things out. I treated her badly and I begged her for forgiveness. Ever since then I’m waiting for a call, a message, anything. I love her, Rebekah. But I’ve lost her, again.”

Rebekah was touched by his statement. She didn’t know how deep he felt for her. She doubted Katherine’s feelings, yes, but she just knew Elijahs feelings were real. He already waited four years for a simple message - he tries so hard to cover up his misery. He loves her and she felt sorry for him because he suffered so much. The blonde couldn’t help herself but pulling him into a hug.

They hugged for a while. It felt good to talk to someone, because it was eating him up. He kept it a secret, he suffered in silence. He never allowed himself to let his guard down, but right now he could. At least a little bit.

“If she is smart, she’s going to call you eventually. Women are stubborn, I know that. I think everything will be fine. It says a lot that she wants to forgive you eventually, I would take that as a good sign. Don’t give up.”

__________________________________________________________

His talk with Rebekah has eased him, he felt better. He found new strength. He even slept better, the nightmares didn’t haunt him like they used to.

They started two years ago. One night he began to dream about her. The dreames started in a good way but always ended bad. The memory of her tormented him, because his dreams always showed him the same cruel things. The scared and hurt look in her deep brown eyes, the way she feared him. She always said the same words, over and over again: »You threw me away like garbage. You betrayed me. How should I ever trust you again?« It made him wake up in the middle of the night, breathing heavily. Sometimes he was so caught up in his dreams the he continued to mutter ‘Forgive me’ after waking up. He knew it was a way of his subconsciousness to show him the remorse that he carefully had locked away. Subconsciousness and remorse could be a terrible combination.

However he beared it in silence. He deserved it, because those dreams only showed him the truth. That he didn’t keep his word, that he had treated her badly. If he had given her the chance to explain herself and chose to listen, if he had not believed a lie he had told himself, none of this would have happend.

Nobody ever had those effects on him. Perhaps he was a love sick fool but he couldn’t help the strong feelings he had for his Katerina. And yet he let her down way too many times.

A few months after the dreams had started, he started to get haunted by her during the daytime too. He sometimes mistook someone for Katerina if they shared just a slight resemblance to her because he longed to see her. He missed her so much, that his mind went crazy if he just smelled the perfume she used to wear.

He knew he was being pathetic. It was pathetic, especially for an Original. He wasn’t supposed to feel that way, to fall in love. But he couldn’t help himself. He let her in. He doesn’t let people in. She is a part of him and it drove him crazy that he didn’t know where she was, if she was safe and okay.

Katherine is able to take care of herself, he knows that. She doesn’t need him but he needed her. More than he had thought. He needed her and he prayed to god that he didn’t have to wait for much longer. If it wasn’t for the word he gave her, he would have already started to search for her ages ago.

He never gave up his hopes, though. Despite everything, he tried to stay positive.

Sometimes, when he was by himself and feeling sentimental, he sat down and allowed himself to think about her. He only had one photograph of them. If Katerina wasn't so stubborn back then, he wouldn't even have one. He remembered how she basically dragged him into a photo booth. They had a night out in NYC and were about going home when she had spotted that...well...thing. And he was against it, as he had always found it weird to make pictures in a box instead of using a real photographer. But she insisted on it and he let her have her will. He remembered how she had beamed and that had made him so happy that he had kissed her cheek right in the moment when the photo was taken.

She had given him the picture later on, saying he should always remember to try new things when looking at it. In fact that picture was the only thing which remained with him, the only physical proof of their relationship. He hid the picture well, so no one could find it. Even though it was just a picture, it was a personal thing which he didn't wish to share. As long as this picture existed, he had the proof that they were happy.

And perhaps, if she can forgive him, they will find that happiness eventually again.

___________________________________________________________

A/N: That was chapter 7. I really enjoy the relationship between Elijah and Rebekah, it’s sweet how they care about each other. What do you think? That chapter also shows that there is a lot underneath Elijah’s calm mask. He suffers and is in pain, but he won’t let anyone see it. I also hid a little bit of foreshadowing in that chapter, perhaps you can guess what it is? The inspiration of the picture which Elijah has in possession is taken from an actual picture of Daniel and Nina (I think Daniel made it at a Comic Con). If you want, you can look it up.

If you like it, hit the ♥ - or come into my askbox, i’d love to hear your opinion. Please do not hate on my decisions or characters as this is no anti- or hate-blog. However, you can leave constructive criticism. :)

[butterflynotes-a]

To Be Human

Fandom: Mystic Messenger Relationships: Jumin x MC Originally Posted: August 4th 2018

LIke every other day, he works.

This day is no different, everyone can tell. Every day is the same. He is not human, but a robot - the most efficient of his model. The type of robot that does not rest, does not feel. Not like the rest of them do. His movements are too stiff, more tense than need be. That alone is what tips people off that he is inhuman, his lack of emotions given as evidence for such a theory.

Every movement is done exactly the same, there is no joy in the smile he forces as he discusses contracts - his voice a deep monotone, beautiful if it belonged to a person - with business partners. He speaks to the women with ease, attempting to be charismatic. Of course, he succeeds, for he is a robot and he is programmed for what perfection a human could not achieve.

To be human is to be weak, his creator claims, as a mechanic opens up his darkest secrets - his wishes of feeling what it is to be a human. He requests for emotions, but this is denied. He does not need feelings, they will only ruin him, like they have so many times.

Is it truly weak? He is unsure of such a statement. He has seen humans and the way they smile, as if happiness is all they seek in life. He has heard the beating of the heart, of those who are in love and young - there is no hardship, only the exhilaration of falling until they hit the ground. The moment they realise no one is there to catch them.

He has seen this motivate humans, help them work towards the goals they had always dreamed of. The encouragement of a friend, a brother, a sister, a parent, a lover - even a stranger, in some cases - is enough for some. Others are more pessimistic, finding their motivation in a hatred of the world and the way society is built.

They find what they want in freeing those who do not feel, of caring for broken androids who are cast away by society - those who felt too bad and were too weak, the attention seekers as they’re called. The people who felt they had nothing, who could not get back up after being knocked down too many times.

There are also the good broken, as well. Those who have too much kindness in their hearts and fall victim to the cruelty of men. Those who are robbed of simple joys and pleasures because they believed the world was good and pure - a silly mistake, in the end, but it makes them oh so human and wonderful.

They have all loved and they have all lost, some falling to pieces while others rose against the world. The revolutionaries, at their finest. The believers in a new world where there is no suffering and there is no pain, but their dreams are just fantasies that will never come true - he sees how they break when they realise, even if they always knew.

Humans are such odd creatures, in Jumin’s opinion - yet, to his steeled heart, they are also interesting. Although his creator claims they are weak, they are anything but, he knows. He wonders why his creator says such odd things.

Is his creator not human too?

Those before him and his creator fell victim to feelings, other robots losing what they were simply to love. However, the robots that work at C&R will never have this issue, for his creator refuses them the emotions they wish for. Although, truly, is longing not a feeling? If he can wish for something, then maybe he could have emotions, for the spark is beginning to light the fuse within him.

To be human is to be weak, he reminds himself, mentally, as he sees those he calls ‘friends’, but how can they be? He does not feel such bonds like friendship and care, not with most. The only person he has felt such a thing as friendship with was his fellow android, V, built as the same model, even if they had not met until they were older than when they were built.

Jihyun is weak, his creator would say, as his friend broke free of the metal chains. His emotions towards a woman were his downfall, for his friend could not help but gravitate towards her. However, she was human and Jihyun was not, so the pain his friend felt was always destined to be there.

The human died all too soon and Jihyun with her, even if his body remained.

Two years later, Jumin has lost his friend, left to the void of his heart. He still converses with the RFA, the group that V lead - but not really, because V was rarely there - and he goes through the motions of life, broken and battered but still alive, nothing in his heart. For once, he wishes he would never feel, because he is sure if he could then the broken-heartedness of his friend would surely plague him too.

That is, until one day, a woman joins. He does not know her face, only her name - Myeong-Eun, Myeong-Eun, he chants in his mind, willing himself never to forget.

He does not seem to like her at first, speaks coldly to her. The same type of formality he shows all but his cat, who he feels an obligation to. He wonders if the woman would like Elizabeth 3rd, or if she disliked cats. They spend days like this, dancing around each other with kind words and pretending to trust, when neither of them do.

It changes when his precious Elizabeth runs away and Jumin is left all alone, drowning in a despair he did not know he was capable of and wishing it would leave. He was a robot, he was not allowed to feel. Feelings were inefficient and unhelpful, so he did not need them and he did not need a cat, he did not need friends or love or happiness.

However, they would be nice to feel, if only for a moment.

So, she comes to him, stays with him. She cares for him until he can no longer handle to be away, pleading with her to stay in his home - she agrees, although she does not seem to want it. For the first day or two, she is restless, but Jumin does all he can to help her feel less so.

Eventually, he feels something new. His heart beats violently, thundering against his rib cage - he was not even aware he was built with a heart, he had never felt it before - and he feels faint, oddly enough, whenever he is around her. His behaviour changes, as well, for he becomes softer in his speaking towards her. He is all jagged metal edges and frayed electrical wires, but she managed to make sense of those and repair him.

Slowly, but steadily, she melded wires together and softened his edges, no longer sharp, but still there all the same. His creator is displeased when he learns of this, attempting to force Jumin to be with another android - a woman, with emotions, but she is much too annoying and Jumin cannot bring himself to care for. Instead, he kisses the human he has found love for, asks her to marry him.

He apologises to her, as well, for he cannot love her as much as he deserves, only the small amount he can manage without the correct programming. “I’m a robot, so I cannot feel as deeply as I want to.” He speaks that day, sorrowful and apologetic. However, she does not seem sad, a confused frown gracing his features. “What do you mean, Jumin?” Her voice is angelic, her lips pressed against his cheek a moment later.

“You’re human too.”

[shadowcatgirl09]

New Beginnings~Chapter 4

TVD Season 6 AU: After a few too many startling revelations Bonnie is fed up and decides to leave. Enter the little town of Havencrest, a quiet place, perfect for settling down away from everything. Or so it's thought; Bonnie left the constant chaos that was Mystic Falls only to get mixed up in something much darker.

Whoo another update! Don’t have much to say other than happy belated BonKai day family! Ngl I was super engrossed in other stuff and I had to work that day so yeah. Hopefully this makes up for that somewhat. Without further ado please enjoy the chapter. Italics=Thoughts/flashbacks. TW for mentions of animal abuse and violence

@kingcobrakai1972, @fuckitimfangirling, @bonkaishippersclub, @needlexheart, @madeunmexico, @bonkai-reign, @bonkai-diaries, @a-bonkai-fantasy225, @albion19, @leianaberrie, @scorpio-karma, @mysticfalls-originals, @nys30, @jemicloisfan, @1972trash, @bonwhynot, @bonkairedemption if I forgot to tag anyone please let me know

Though some people were still staring at Austin's retreating back, a handful were giving her scornful glances. Bonnie was starting to become agitated. She sat down on a bench in the park and began tapping her foot impatiently. Rusty scratches against her leg for attention, she picks him up and puts him in her lap. "I can say I have an alibi, which I really do, but magic was more than likely involved in this."

Noelle was tapping her chin, pacing back and forth thinking of solutions. "True, but we need undeniable proof."

Sian's entire being radiated sadness. "She doesn't deserve this. She's innocent."

Caleb's shoulders are tense, watching the townspeople warily. "We know that but unfortunately the combination of Bonnie being a witch and her familiar being him is going to have the town on edge."

Bonnie grew apprehensive. "What's wrong with Rusty?"

There was a beat of silence until Sian spoke up. "A lot of the townsfolk believes he's a curse."

Bonnie's eyes narrowed, leaning forward head slightly tilted. 

Sian clenched the knapsack closer to herself. "He wasn't always a chow chow puppy, some months back he was a pitbull. A-uh-a guy who was into dog fighting wanted to use him but Rusty disobeyed one too many times and he...killed him."

Noelle closed her eyes, lips pursed in anger while Caleb just watched for Bonnie's reaction. The young woman grasped Rusty to her; Harsh breaths coming out of her nostrils. Rusty whined attempting to twist his little body around to reach her face.

"That wasn't the only time...I think he died twice before that too. He never really made it to adulthood." Sian buried her face into her bag murmuring. "Like owner, like dog."

Caleb put a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should head on home."

"I'm fine Caleb." Came her curt reply.

Noelle finally opened her eyes. "No Caleb's right." She turned to him. "Take her out of here, there's too many emotions swirling around."

"But Noelle!"

"I said no."

Sian just cast sorrowful eyes at Bonnie and then buried her head back into her bag so only her copper hair was showing.

"I'll take her with me to the scene, see if we can find something."

"Okay. Keep us posted." 

"Will do. Be safe." With one last look at Bonnie he grabbed Sian and ran off in the direction of a small side street.

After watching them leave Noelle turned to Bonnie. "Let's go get your hair done."

"You can't be serious." Even Rusty's head tilted in confusion at Noelle's ridiculousness.

"As serious as a heart attack." She peered at Bonnie closely. "Have you ever had cornrows before."

"No."

"Individuals? Locs? Weave of any kind?"

"No, no, and no."

"Yeah that won't do. Get up." Rusty barked twice which Bonnie assumed it meant hell no.

"Look Noelle I'm a suspect in a murder I can't just be prancing around getting my hair done."

"Yes you can! This will get your mind off of things and a chance to try something new with yourself!"

"Someone you knew personally just died. How can you be so blase about this?"

"Because, one, changes for the better start small. Or in your case big and then small. You already got out of a toxic environment." She sat down beside Bonnie. "And two, she was already dying. She had maybe another week or two tops."

Realization dawned on Bonnie. "You're giving me another alibi in case something happens again."

She made finger guns. "Now you got it." 

"Did anyone ever tell you you're annoyingly persistent."

"So I've been told." She stood up and faced Bonnie holding her hand out. "Let's go."

"I'll go but I'm not taking your hand."

"Sweet! Come on my car is parked on the other end of the park."

"Cool, but we have to stop by the pet store first. I need dog food for Rusty."

"Fine by me."

                                                          -----

Elias takes a swing at Kai but he's distraught and his eyes are blinded with tears so Kai has no problem avoiding him. When he swings again Kai grabs his arm twisting it behind his back then snapping it at the elbow. At this point he's past caring if anyone hears him as he drags Elias kicking and screaming to the pool.

Using his bulk, Elias manages to break free of Kai's hold only to be kneed in the stomach and elbowed in the face. Seeing as that wasn't taking him out Kai gripped Elias's hair and slammed his face into the diving board. With his knee in his back he then heaved his brother's head into the pool.

"Come on Eli, you're a good swimmer, let's see how long you can hold your breath under water. Last I heard it was for a solid seven minutes! Let's try for eight!"

Elias is desperate now and his thrashing around is getting worse, Kai presses his knee down harder and uses his other to break his brother's good arm. Suddenly Kai feels it, the approaching footsteps followed by shapely brown legs. When he looks up he's staring directly into a pair of moss green eyes. No anger, fear or hesitation; Just disgust and disappointment. He's used to Jo giving him that look over time but with her it's different. It's like his heart is being squeezed and his ears start ringing and everything around him becomes a white noise save for her voice.

"You're a monster. You don't deserve forgiveness."

Kai catapults awake to the smell of something burning and quickly put out the flames attempting to scorch the place. Glancing downward he notices that the journals remained intact. Checking his phone it reads 7:20pm, which means he was reading for at least five hours and passed out for the rest.

His phone vibrated with an unknown number popping up. With a degree of caution he answered. "Hello?"

"Kai? It's Mahir. I've been trying to get in contact with you for hours. I thought you got caught in a trap Joshua set or something."

"Uh yeah. I got distracted reading." He's still disoriented from getting up so fast. "You okay? You're less talkative than usual."

"I'm fine. How did you get my number anyway?" Kai had sent a coded message to the coven in order for them to show up at the restaurant.

"Josette."

"Mahir, what did you do?" His voice held a warning tone. In spite of Jo wanting nothing to do with him he still held a soft spot for her.

"Chill, I just tracked her down and asked for it. Her husband though...he may have a cracked rib or two. My presence caught Josette off guard and he reacted accordingly which put him in his current predicament."

"And Jo?"

"Gave me your number and told me she never wanted to see me again."

"Okay good. As long as Jo's fine I don't care what happens to her husband."

"Heh. Sooo...how is it?"

"The things I found in here are indescribable! This place is just wow! But Mahir the craziest part are the journals I found here. They detail the Salem Witch Trails and the cause behind it."

"What? I thought that was mass hysteria."

"Same here but my ancestor Alastor described something completely different. He said something possessed a normal human woman making her act differently, unusual fits of anger, muttering strange things, and contorting her body into odd positions. It's recounted as a black mist that mostly wreaked havoc at night."

"Save for the black mist part you just described The Exorcist." Kai could hear air whipping in the background Mahir must've been outside driving. "That's crazy."

"Tell me about it, Bon-I mean a Bennett ancestor was blamed for obvious reasons along with some others."

"Anything else?"

"Apparently my ancestor was super thirsty. There's as many entries about Ana Bennett as there are about the trails."

Mahir let out a hearty laugh. "Seems like that runs in the family. Joshua was like that with Sheila, though he hid it well."

Kai's lip curled in disgust. "I did not need that picture."

"I don't know man I met Lucy Bennett once and let me tell you I would gladly bring her into the family."

"Stop!" Kai grabbed the suitcase he brought with him and opened it. "Look I'll call you back when I land back in Virginia."

"Cool. Catch you later."

"Later." Kai started stuffing it with the journals putting the Bennett one on top. "I'll just keep this with me for the time being." Looking back he also grabbed the Tesseract as well. He had a strange feeling he would need it.

Stepping out into the crisp night air Kai replaced the magic barriers and glamour back on the place and headed to the ferry.

                                                          -----

Elena runs into the room, phone in hand. "Damon I found them. They're...on the campus."

"Gee why didn't we look there first." He sat on the couch watching tv.

"Because someone was too wrapped up in his mother and then Bonnie." Elena spat.

"Why don't you want to bring Bonnie back Elena? She's our friend." He smirked. "Are you jealous or something? We did get pretty close in the prison world."

Elena was starting to question what she saw in him. "No Damon I'm not jealous. It's just that when I last saw her she looked so tired, so done with everything. As much as it pains me to say it I-I think she's better off without us." She hung her head sadly.

Damon turned the tv off. "That's bullshit Elena and you know it! She belongs here with us!"

"Not if it's only killing her inside! Bonnie's too good, to nice to say anything, but I watched her leave, Damon not you. And besides why are we bringing her back anyway? Just so she can fix all of our problems like always? Sacrifice herself like always?" Tears were beginning to pool in her eyes. Bonnie leaving of her own accord struck something in her. She was used to her friend just bouncing back from whatever was bothering her, ready to help the team. 

Damon got up from the couch. "Elena, where is this coming from?"

"From watching my best friend leave everything she has ever known and loved behind just to have peace. Realizing that she did so much for me, hell everyone in this damn town, while I barely did the bare minimum for her." She fell to her knees sobbing. "I was so self absorbed I didn't even acknowledge Bonnie's problems. Or her constant suffering."

"Elena." Damon crutched down placing a hand on her shoulder. "Bonnie chose to do those things because she loves you. Like when she sent me back to you."

"But she shouldn't have had to do it in the first place. We should've done better Damon." She shook his hand off and stood up wiping her eyes. "Get up we have to get Stefan and Caroline to turn on their humanity before anymore people die."

                                                       -----

The salon they were heading to was on the other side of town. Bonnie was eyeing the small houses they were passing along the way, taking mental notes of the ones that had a for rent sign. Rusty, who wore himself out playing, was sleeping soundly in the backseat.

"Question."

"Shoot."

"How long does this process take?" Bonnie didn't want it to take too long as she wanted to check out those houses. The idea of the duplex sounded nice but she wanted privacy.

"You can't be serious." Noelle's tone was somehow both mocking and curious.

"Yes I am. I've never had any of those hairstyles before." She pointed to her bob. "It's always been like this and or curly."

Noelle side-eyed her. "Oh wow, but to answer your question it depends what hairstyle you get and how many people are doing your hair."

"Hmm. Do you have a book or magazine?"

"For the hair? Yeah there should be a magazine or two in the backseat."

Instead of just reaching back she used magic to put it in her hands. Bonnie began flipping through it, coming to a stop at a particular hairstyle. When they came to a light she pointed to it. "I think I want this one. The faux locs."

Noelle gasped. "I think that hairstyle would look gorgeous on you! Did you want shoulder length or long?"

"Long. I haven't had long hair in a while." Not since before she died for the second time. The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. “Never again.”

"Eighteen inch would probably be best then." Noelle parked in front of a small african salon/barbershop. "We're here."

Bonnie peered at it from the passenger seat. It's a nice two story spot between a clothing boutique and a shoe store. Houses lined the rest of the street.

Noelle turned to her. "You ready?"

She glanced back at Rusty's sleeping form. "As I'll ever be."

Noelle left the back window open a crack and together the girls sashayed into the shop. There were two other women getting their hair done, three of the hairdressers were free. The place smelt of incense and it gave off a relaxing feeling. 

Bonnie cleared her throat and spoke. "Hi. I would like to get my hair done in this style." She pointed to the the magazine she held up.

One of the middle aged african women smiled at her. "Sure, do you want any colors?"

"Black with caramel highlights."

The woman waved her over and Bonnie sat down. "Did you wash your hair today?"

"No."

"Okay. So first I'll wash and blow dry it then we'll get started."

"Alright."

As the two women walk to the back of the salon a heavy metal tune goes off catching the quiet place off guard. Noelle gives an embarrassed smile. "Sorry. I'll be in the sitting area Bonnie."

Bonnie gave a thumbs up and laid her head back in the sink so it could be washed. In the process of getting it washed Bonnie could hear Noelle talking on the phone to someone. She could barely understand what was being said but she did recognize a few words from those anime that Jeremy used to watch.

"Arigato, ja matane." Noelle hung up and sat down next to Bonnie.

"You speak japanese?" Bonnie figured Noelle was mixed but not with japanese.

"Fluenty. My mom taught me."

"Cool."

5 minutes later Bonnie was in the chair getting her hair done. 10 minutes later another woman joined her speeding up the process. Noelle's phone rang again and she side-eyed Bonnie.

She raised an eyebrow in question.

"It's Caleb."

Bonnie went to lean forward but remembered there were people in her hair. "Answer it!"

She muttered a spell and put the phone on speaker. "Find out anything?"

Sirens could be heard in the background where he was. "We found another one. This time there are organs missing."

She groaned. "Who was it?"

"Mr. Shaw." Caleb said solemnly.

Noelle closed her eyes in reflection. "He was the local bookshop owner." She said to Bonnie.

"Gutted him like a fish. I'll be shocked if they get any-oof!"

Noelle and Bonnie could hear a deep voice reprimanding him followed by a quick sorry.

"That was the chief." The sound of the poilce chatter grew further away. "Anyway when Sian touch the body she freaked out and then fainted."

"What?!"

"Calm down. She of course then woke up spouting gibberish and promptly vomited. Other than that she's fine."

"Did you manage to catch anything?"

"Uh, let me see...here it is! She said something about a messenger of the U.M.N and don't leave the castle."

Noelle looked like she seen a ghost. "The U.M.N is involved?" Her hands begin to shake causing her phone to clatter to the floor. "No." Her voice came out in a whisper.

Bonnie was bewildered. "Noelle? What's the U.M.N?"

She wasn't responding just beginning to hyperventilate.

"Noelle!" Bonnie grabbed her arm and shook her.

"What?" Her eyes still looked haunted but otherwise she was coherent.

"What's going on? You were starting to panic."

"The Underground Magic Network." She blurted it out.

"Yeah you said that."

"They're a massive group of dark magic users that terrorized Havencrest twenty years ago." She bent down to pick up her phone. "Probably trying to release that thing under the church in the woods."

"What thing?" Something besides Rusty was calling her here, that much she knew for sure.

Noelle met her gaze. "The black mist that caused the hysteria of the Salem Witch Trials. The six covens sealed it in this town."

[zodiac-enthusiasts]

Pisces Personality | 18 Facts About Pisces@media only screen and (min-width: 1000px) and (max-width: 5000px){body.kc-css-system .kc-css-881842{width: 9.7%;}body.kc-css-system .kc-css-2492236{width: 80.29%;}body.kc-css-system .kc-css-3563391{width: 9.99%;}}body.kc-css-system .kc-css-2492236{background: #f5f5f5;margin-top: 30px;margin-bottom: 30px;padding: 30px 30px 30px 30px;border: 1px solid #e8e8e8;border-radius: 10px 10px 10px 10px;}body.kc-css-system .kc-css-334339 ,body.kc-css-system .kc-css-334339 p{color: #414549;font-family: Open Sans;font-size: 18px;line-height: 2em;} Pisces Personality The Pisces Personality is based on the element of water which is governed by the mystic Neptune. This sign is extremely receptive, polite, compassionate and supportive. As we did with Scorpio, we must explore and investigate to discover the depths of this water sign. The feelings of Pisces dig very deep. A changing nature gives Pisces adaptable and unifying energy. Sensitive people are like the water which flows smoothly downstream, following the current around the rocks and the obstacles of its path.   Compassionate Pisces is compassionate and feel for others in wanting to help them however they can. Many of us would speak before hearing out what others have to say but compassionate Pisces does the opposite. Pisces will do his utmost to help anyone in any way he can. Usually, he would listen to what others have to say before he expresses his opinion. Pisces feel sympathy and sorrow for another who face misfortune in life.  Pisces is driven with a strong desire to alleviate the suffer ing.   Sympathetic Pisces feel for the ones he loves. He is ready to put others first before his personal needs. He feels sympathy for everyone who has no one else to look after them. Pisces will try to help them with whatever he can. Pisces would freely take others problems and burdens over his shoulder and make it his own matter to solve. He would listen quietly with his heart to all their troubles and silently ease their pain.   Loving Pisces is filled with love and positive energy. Pisces is like the beam of light that shines brightly that attracts the goodhearted and trustworthy people close to him. Typical Pisces tends to do what he loves and won’t listen to anyone else. No matter what others think of Pisces he will never stop loving others. His primary aim in life would be to help others no matter what everyone thinks.   Altruist Typical Pisces give and share of love what belongs to each without hesitation. He's a kind heart and never hesitates to make charitable gestures. Pisces doesn’t expect anything back from the people he helps instead he will respond to them kindly. Many would think he's foolish, but in the end, Pisces will show everyone the real character of a compassionate and kind person. The generous acts of Pisces are endless starting from helping to volunteering. Pisces tries not to become materialistic because that would be the end of who he really is.   Dreams Pisces dreams of a better world every day of his life. There isn’t a single moment that he wouldn’t try to make the world a better place for all mankind. Pisces would usually come up with ideas to bring peace to all humans. Pisces is able to frequently communicate his peaceful ideas to people he trusts and is able to share his humble heart with them.   Intuitive Only a pure-hearten person would easily have psychic ability. Pisces would stand by his friends who will need his help and "read" their mind and heart. Pisces is an excellent listener and observer who has the intuitive mind to foresee or predict what may happen in a short future. Intuition will be the inner voice for Pisces helping him to pick up on clues around others and use the information gathered to make approximate predictions.   Fantasy Personality Photo by Andres Iga on Unsplash Usually, Pisces seems to be disconnected from the real world. He seems to be in a fantasy world for some time. Pisces life is mostly based on beliefs rather than significant facts. The reality he lives is preferably a pure fantasy. Usually, when Pisces friends talk about the real world, Pisces seems to get lost, but will not admit it and so he will pretend to agree or will slightly disagree.   Sensitive Pisces usually struggle to focus properly on the task when having to handle many things in one moment. He seems to become tense and nervous therefore stress will start to build up. He will lose concentration and be less productive. When Pisces is put into a test, he's likely to perform very poorly. Consequently, he hates it being placed under pressure.   Into Arts Pisces may not be a great artist, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it. Pisces is very connected to the world of arts. Whether he's attending a musical or concert or visiting an art gallery, he will highly appreciate all sort of arts. Pisces finds that expressions of creativity stir up his emotions.   Dance & Music Either one will do just fine for Pisces when he feels stressed or emotional. Highly sensitive Pisces demands some silence when he's stressed out. Sometimes he favors slow pace music with low volume. Occasionally he starts dancing to cool down from his daily stress. Music has to be specific to his liking at that particular moment. Music shouldn’t be too loud or too quiet like hard rock or classic for example. Dancing or singing, for instance, does really well for relaxation to sensitive Pisces, so, nothing is separating him from his personal habits.   Poetry Writing Pisces may stay for a long time in some darkroom or isolated from friends and family. His intentions being alone is to find his inner peace by writing whatever artistic creative comes through his mind, usually its poetry or prose. Through poetry and prose, Pisces will be able to express his sensitive feelings and how he feels about himself in connection with the world in that particular moment.   Memory Pisces is born with the great natural ability to have photographic memories for almost everything. His emotional character allows him to remember even the saddest moments he has been through in life. Very often Pisces is seen telling others stories from the past usually comparing it with the present. Pisces typically does this to show others the importance of time change and how people change with time in years.   Secretive Pisces could be secretive because he has something embarrassing to hide from others. Generally, it is something so sad that it would be considered too serious for others to know the truth. Usually, it’s something from the past. Pisces does not want to show others who he indeed is. Very often Pisces will be shy avoiding eye contact and physical intimacy. His private life is sealed inside him and will only open to anyone but to those who he trusts the most.   Common Sense If we refer to Pisces as the person who has the collective knowledge about many things, then we would think the level of his belief. For Pisces, the perception of reality isn’t mature enough. It’s why Pisces can’t distinguish the real from unreal so he will create a shallow perspective of the world, mostly based on his beliefs rather than essential facts.   Satire Pisces hates it when people laugh at him or when he's taken for a fool. Usually, he won't react to provocations but will hold the rage inside him. If the boiling point is reached then Pisces will respond by being satiric and laugh back. Sometimes he ends up insulting them or the worst he will use force to let them know that Pisces isn’t someone that anyone can mess with.   Multi-Talented Pisces is exceptional with some unusual talents capable of handling different tasks. Being multi-talented has its disadvantages for Pisces. His focus can be spread into many things he hardly knows 100%, but this won’t stop Pisces becoming valuable. The ability to understand more comes naturally to Pisces. Pisces is a curious person ever since he was young. Typical Pisces has strong communications skills and will assist others with his talents in many ways.   Flexible Pisces is known to be a very flexible person who copes in change regardless of all different circumstances and will think about how to solve various problems and common life issues in a matter of a moment. Pisces knows that new challenges will require new skills so he will become more flexible to handle each situation.   Good Sense Of Humor Although Pisces is shy from time to time, he's still very welcomed by friends. Pisces is good at keeping friends happy with good humor while sharing good times together. Pisces jokes and sense of humor are never out of line. It's his primary objective to get amused not refused when he's among friends.

[thewondersofsmut]

You Are Home

Summary: Damon had found his home but there was never a happy ending. What he once lost can never be replaced or so he thought.

Pairings: Damon x Reader

Warnings: smut, angst

Word Count: 3985

It felt weird to write something this long but I hope you guys like this story as much as I loved writing it. Thank you for your continual support and patience, guys!

(gifs not mine, credits to owners)

Parties left and right, music played all damn night. There wasn't a dull day when you moved to the city. You were a pretty little thing who socialized with a lot of people, knew the commoners, and met the newcomers. 1920's was the glitz, glamour, and jazz. In your personal taste, you loved the 20's as much as you loved being the King's little princess, you being you, didn't really like non-extravagant lifestyle.

Your curls were done and your lipstick glimmering in red, you were ready to get the night started once again. You were the guest of the night for this new bar that opened in the city. You, of course, performed on the little stage, making yourself more known. After your little performance, you sat by the bar, signaling for a small drink. It wasn't uncommon for men to sit next to you but this one man caught your eye. He had a small smirk on, the blues eyes you've seen, and raven hair that looked mysterious. It all started that night.

"Does the lady want another drink?" He asked. You smiled and nodded. He signaled the bartender and he poured you one and the stranger. "My name is Damon Salvatore, and you?" He asked, asking for your hand. "(Y/n) (y/l/n)." You said and giggled, placing your hand in his. He gave a sweet kiss on your knuckles. "I haven't seen you around town, what brought you in this sleepless town?" You asked. "Passed by, hoping to find something fun to do." He answered, looking straight in your eyes. "Well I think you're in the right place." You said giggling, you were into him.

Damon found this girl not only beautiful but ravishing enough to bleed you dry for his meal of the night. After a few drinks and a little more conversations, he leaned closer to you, letting you inhale his intoxicating scent. "Want to find a much private place?" He asked and you giggled, taking his hand for the offer. You were excited to get a good looking on for dinner. You followed him outside, just behind the bar and he held your waist, pinning you to the wall. His lips attached to yours and your hands landed on his neck, pulling him close.

He pulled away and you saw it, his vampire face. You tensed but you were laughing inside and let him bite your neck but. Playful you came out to play and just as he bit into your neck, you moaned, you drew out your fangs and bit into his neck. Damon immediately pulled away and sped far across you. With blood dripping down the side of your lips, you smiled and chuckled. His eyes widened and watched the wound on your neck heal. "You're a vampire?!" He asked. "I guess we found each other good enough to eat." You said in a sultry voice. You sped, pinning him to the wall this time and attaching your lips to his.

He flipped you two, holding your hands above your head as his kisses dropped to tour jaw and to your neck. You moaned and when he got back to your lips, he smirked. "You're as good as you look like, he said and held you close and sped you two back to apartment. The moment the door banged close, hands went to each others bodies, cupping, squeezing, and feeling. You unbuttoned his shirt and pants as he undid your dress behind you, pulling the one pin that held your hair up, making it flow down your back as your dress hit the floor. You two were half naked when you reached the bed.

He laid you in bed and kissed down your naked body, your hand in his hair, pulling as you felt pleasure. He reached your core and bucked your hips up. He kissed back up your body and then your lips. "You're a naughty little vampire." He said and you giggled. You flipped you both and you straddled him, pushing yourself down his length, moaning with your eyes closed. You two were elevated with the small amount of blood you two shared and induced with pleasure. You ground yourself to him and he bucked his hips up, pushing you forward. He flipped you two again, pushing your arms up, holding them above your head as he fucked your relentless.

Pleasure build and he had you coming apart one right after the other, your moans and small screams filling the room. He groaned, leaning down to kiss you and letting go of your hands from captivity. Your hands went to his back, your nails digging into his skin until it was decorated with red lines as he left deep kisses in the expanse of your neck, glad that they will heal quicker than the normal human. You pulled his head up, kissing him pleasurably that he moaned against your lips. "Vampire sex is always so much better." He breathed and you chuckled, agreeing as he thrusted into you deep, coming apart inside of you.

He pulled out and reached for a cloth to clean off and then he laid on his back, breathing heavily. "One of the best I've had in quite some time, if I may say so." You said. You heard him chuckle and you looked over at him to see him looking at you. "This city don't seem so bad at all. I think I found my home." He said, looking straight into his eyes and basically went over you, attaching his lips against yours with a sex inviting kiss to which you were more than willing to reciprocate, continuing on for the night and the days to come.

That was a 5 years ago.

Damon and you are now together, traveling around the nearby cities, going to bar by bar, partying like never before but two landed in the outskirts of the city, in a beautiful house. All that soon ended when hunters arrived. They searched home by home, bar by bar, looking for all the vampires they can kill. "(Y/n), we have to run now!" Damon exclaimed, pulling you by your hand. "I am not leaving without a fight, Damon, this is our home!" You screamed. "We can't stay! (Y/n), listen to me, anywhere is home with you and I am not leaving you behind!" He said. "We have to go." He softly said, caressing your hand.

Tears streamed down your eyes and just as you nodded, a big explosion occurred, separating you and Damon. Your eyes widened as you saw him too far from you. You felt weak with the beams covering half your body. "(Y/n)!" Damon tried to get up but the flames were everywhere, the smoke was too much. "You gotta run, Damon. I'm okay, save yourself." You said. "No, no, I will save you." He said, getting up, regaining his strength just for you.

He saw 5 people rampage through the fire, stakes in their hands and he searched for you through the smoke. He finally met your eyes and you looked straight at him, body carried by the hunters. "Run, Damon.. I love you." Damon froze, shaking his head. "Run.." "I'm so sorry, (y/n), I love you too.." He said and did just as you asked.

2010

Damon was back in his reckless ways, terrorizing his little brother and his little friends. Of course he thinks differently of Elena, especially being the doppelganger of Katherine. Life back in Mystic Falls wasn't too bad but that day he hated the most arrived, he was visibly down, it even concerned Stefan. He didn't know why all of the sudden Damon was drinking sorrows away and when he'd ask Damon, he would just reply, 'There's always something to be sad about." Damon thought it was a good idea, after decades, to just visit that place where you two had separated, where you died, is what he liked to remind himself.

June 23 was the day the hunters have taken you and killed you, the day he regret leaving you, the day his life once again fell apart, killing hundreds without care and humanity.

The place looked better than before but somehow it was still worse than before it all even started. There was a built Victorian style home that stood above where he and you used to live but something felt a little odd to him as he walked closer to the house. It was secluded, a home amongst the fields far from the city. He can smell all sorts, from blood to what seemed to be dead bodies, and vervain.

He knitted his eyebrows and opened the door. It was packed with weapons, stakes, and he can now strongly smell the vervain in every corner of the house. He sobered himself up and carefully searched the house of anyone present. He slowly came down the basement and there he saw a pile of dead bodies, dried of blood, right against a small cell.

He slowly walked towards it and moved the pile of decaying, old bodies to look at whatever was inside that cell that made the house abandoned and secluded.

"Hello?" He asked. He waited for the person to reply but it was silent. The rays of the sun from the small window made it hard to see the corners where darkness was evident. For the first time in a long time, he was scared. His heart ache of the memories this place held but it scared him to know that this house alone, his house, was still a place for vampires and hunters. He forcefully opened the cell door and walked inside, gulping.

There was a body, he assumed was a vampire, clearly desiccating. He listened to signs of moving but the body must have been long desiccated. He looked at the pile of bodies, the way they dressed and it surely wasn't from today. This house was long forgotten by other hunters, or was avoided because of whoever this person was. He moved the body, trying to look at the face but it wasn't easily recognizable but what shocked Damon was the necklace the person wore.

His eyes widened and searched the fingers, there was no sign of any lapiz lazuli ring. He wrapped the body in whatever cloth he can find and he sped out of the house quickly to his car, driving 100 going back home, looking behind him making sure you were still alive.

It wasn't long until the sun set and his home was visible. He can hear people inside his house and without care, he carried the wrapped body inside and into the living room couch. "What the hell, Damon?" Elena screamed. "Shut up." He muttered. "What did you do, brother?" Stefan asked. He turned to them. "Can you two just leave?" He calmly yet strongly asked. "What's wrong with you, Damon, and what is that?" Elena asked. "Nothing for you to concern. Don't touch her." He said and sped to go get blood bags.

"Her?" Elena asked Stefan. "I–I don't know.." He replied.

Damon growled with the sight of them still there but he carefully unwrapped the body and Elena gasped. Stefan knitted his eyebrows as he watched Damon carefully pour blood into the girl's mouth. He saw the care in his actions and he had to know who this girl was. They both watched Damon trying to bring back the life of this vampire. Countless of bags were used and Damon was starting to worry but with the 8th bag, the color in your body started to go back.

Your face was more radiant than ever and Damon's heart broke knowing you were alive all alone, making him feel more guilt. He looked all over your face, how pick your lips were, how soft your hair felt as he caressed it. "Damon, who is she?" Stefan broke the small moment Damon was having. Damon turned to him with the realest soft smile he never saw since they were humans. "The love of my life." Damon replied quietly, hi blue eyes brimmed with tears.

He turned back to you, caressing your face, holding your hand, waiting for you to gasp back to life. Damon sped to his room rampaging through his things until he found the ring he promised to give you but never did. "Who is she, Damon?" Stefan asked and Damon told them of his memories of you and him, and the little peace you two had before the tragic day.

"I can never take off the guilt I have when I left her that night. I'll never forgive myself for not looking for her." Damon said and when he turned to your body, you gasped, opening your eyes and breathing heavily. Damon was quick to be at your side and helped you sit up. You were disoriented and you panicked, not knowing where you were but when you looked up, you saw the face you thought you'd never see. "Damon?" Your voice was soft but it hurt to speak.

A tear slid down his face in the sight of you, in hearing your voice. You smiled and cupped his cheek. "Don't cry, you're supposed to be big bad." You softly joked. Damon chuckled and kissed your forehead. "You might need this." Damon said, handing her a blood bag. "In a bag?" You asked. You then looked around you to see other people in a room.

"Where am I?" You asked Damon. "You're in Mystic Falls." He answered. "I think the right question is, when am I at?" You asked. Damon smiled softly. "It's 2010." He said and your eyes widened. You breathed out heavily. "I've been dead for almost 3 decades." You said and that broke his heart. "I am so sorry for not looking for you." Damon said, leaning his forehead against yours. "I told you to run." You said smiling.

You looked behind him to see a man and woman. "Who are they?" You asked. Damon sat beside you and cleared his throat. "Do you remember me telling you about my brother, Stefan?" He asked and you nodded. "That's him, that's my little brother." Stefan went near and offered a hand. You took it and smiled. "This is his girlfriend, Elena." You looked at her face and visibly tense. You sped far away from her. "Are you kidding me, that's Katherine!" You said. Damon stood and Stefan looked at you.

"You knew Katherine?" Stefan asked. "If you're old enough, you'd know that bitch." You said and glared at this 'Elena', who visibly looked scared. Damon sped to you and calmed you down. "Believe me, this is not Katherine. This is her doppelganger, Elena is human." Damon assured. You sped in front of her and looked at her, to which Elena gasped. "I'm sorry, I–I just thought you were her. I mean, you do look like her, a lot." You said and walked back to Damon.

"I think you should rest, (y/n)." Damon said, walking to you. "I don't want to rest now, I've been gone for 30 years, Damon. Teach me, show me what I've missed." You said and he smiled, nodding. "This is for you." He said and lifted your hand up to slip a ring into your ring finger. It was a daylight ring, somewhat similar to what you owned before. "Thank you, Damon." You said and pecked his cheek.

"We should leave you two alone to catch up." Elena said and took Stefan's hand. "Yeah." Stefan agreed. "It's nice meeting you two." You said and they left.

Damon took you to his room for you to freshen up, getting a bath ready. "What did they do to you?" He asked, watching you strip off the clothes you were wearing. He entered the tub and you following him after, soaking your bodies in hot and soapy water. You leaned against him and he massaged your arms.

"After the fire, when they took me, I thought they were going to kill me. But after months of going from place to place, I saw they brought me back to our house, fully built, and they kept me inside that cell for I don't know how long. They didn't feed me, they tortured me into telling me where were the vampires I knew. I couldn't escape, I was vervained, weakened, exposed in the sun rays without my ring, they slowly killed me. The bars were soaked with vervain weakening me every time I tried to escape."

"They only way I thought I can escape was by killing them. Every time one came to the door I would bleed them dry and try to open the bars but I didn't know why I couldn't. When I killed most that I can, they tried to shoot me but I was stronger than that. I've lived for centuries, Damon. I cant withstand wooden bullets. After that night, no one ever came, the vervain was still strong and I was weakening, until I started to desiccate."

He sighed. "If only I looked for you after that, we could've been together." He said. "It wasn't your fault, Damon. Don't blame yourself." You said, looking at him. "I flipped my humanity the moment I ran, I killed a lot of people. It was for sport more than feeding." He said. "I would too if I was in your position." You said.

"I love you so much, (y/n), I'm so happy to have found you." Damon said, kissing your shoulder. "I'm glad you found me, Damon." You replied, proceeding to ask him questions about the new decade.

It was hard to learn but here you were, on your phone while driving. "You know, you're not allowed to do that." Damon said, chuckling. "Yeah, but I got this." You said smiling at him. "Where are we going anyway?" He asked. "Somewhere I want to see." You answered. "And how do you even know how to get there?" He asked you. "Um memory..?" "Really, princess?" He asked with an eyebrow raised. "I'm kidding. I used google maps!" You proudly said, making him laugh. "You're such a dork, (y/n)." He said, shaking his head. "I'm your dork." You replied. He lifted your hand and kissed your knuckles.

You drove for hours and when Damon realized where you two were going, he tensed. "Stop the car, (y/n)." He ordered. You looked at him and knitted your eyebrows. "No." You said, continuing to drive. "I said stop the goddamn car." He said and you applied the brakes, harder than you should. "What the hell is your problem, Damon?" You asked. "Why are we going here?" He asked, your eyes directly meeting his'. "I meed to see what happened." You said, stepping on the gas. "(Y/n), I swear to god, if you don't stop the car–" "You'll what? Lock me in my room?" You asked, jaw clenching as you pulled over the side of the road.

Damon softened and he cupped your cheek, prompting you to look at him. "I love you, but I'm not letting you see the hell you were just in." He said. "It was our home, Damon." You argued. "That night they took you away from me was the night they took our house. We can't take it back anymore, we can't remove all the bad memories it came with, all the pain and suffering." He answered.

Damon sighed in defeat as he stood in front of the main door he had kicked just a weekbefore. You clenched your jaw, it looked awful, run down, it was indeed abandoned. You sped downstairs to what you assumed was where you were locked up. You eyed the pile of bodies, more like, bones now, that you drained of blood but was never enough to make you strong to escape. "I want to take it back." You whispered. "What do you mean?" He asked. You turned to him and with all seriousness. "This is mine. They will not just destroy it and take it as their own. This our property. You should also be fighting for it." You said.

He sighed. As much as the memories hurt him he understood what you were getting at. Rebuild the home and make new memories.

Maybe it didn't hurt you as much, maybe to you it was more of a freedom, a revenge, Damon thought. You were in the other side of the story, he was in the one that screamed pain. He loved you more than anyone he had ever love, he was too torn to make a move like he planned for Katherine to escape under Fell's church. "I know it hurt you to see this place but I was locked in here, in my own home that I couldn't even call my own. I'm glad you didn't share the same fate as I did but, Damon, I want the old us back." You said.

He looked at you with a strong stance. "I know but I can't leave my brother now, not when we know Katherine can come by Mystic Falls any time." He said. You looked at him. You then stood there and hurt flashed through your eyes as realization hit you. "You came back to Mystic Falls to 'free' Katherine, didn't you?" You said and without a word, you knew he was guilty.

"And you tell me I was the one you loved the most." You said and sped out of the house.

"It's not like that, (y/n)–" "They why would you ever go back to Mystic Falls?! You told me that when we were ready to settle down, we would eventually live there but I was so stupid to not think that Katherine might have been there ever since you told me of your encounter with her!" You screamed. "I have known her before you did, I believed you when you said she was trapped, but now I don't know if you've ever loved me knowing you wanted to go back to the forsaken town, and maybe one day you'd plan to let her out." You said, your heart clenching.

"Believe me when I say, I love you, (y/n). I felt all the hurt I could ever feel last week when I went here, when I tried to relive our memories. I convinced myself you were dead because knowing if you were alive and not beside me hurt more than knowing you were dead." Damon exclaimed, tears brimming his bright blue eyes.

"Mystic Falls was–is my humanity, (y/n), and I wanted to share that with you." He said. "Not this house," gesturing to the broken down property. "You were home to me, (y/n). Always will, but I wanted to share with you the place I grew up in, to show you who I was before I became this." He said. Tears slipped down your face and into the dead grass beneath your feet.

"That's why you didn't want to fight them that night. It was okay for you to just run." You said, looking down. Damon walked to you and lifted your head with his finger. "No matter where we live, in a shack, in a mansion, heck a castle, I don't care as long as I have you. You are home." He pulled you to his chest, hugging you as you softly cried. This place hurt you for breaking the wonderful peace you had with a wonderful person but you had to let it go now. Damon pulled away to look at you. "We don't need this house, princess. You got me and I got you." He said. You nodded and he kissed your forehead. "You're always going to be home now, okay?" He asked. Voice muffled against your head. You nodded once more. He lifted your head and kissed you. "Never forget that." He said and smiled. "I never will, I promise."

[neriad13]

A Shield Against Sorrow

Rating: Teen and up

Archive Warning: Graphic depictions of violence

Categories: F/F, Gen

Fandoms: Fallout 4, Fallout

Characters: Autistic Sole Survivor, Lucy Abernathy, Blake Abernathy, Connie Abernathy, Codsworth, Dogmeat

Additional Tags: Survival, Subsistence living, Autism

Language: English

Wordcount: 4442

Summary: Aegis, transported into this strange place from a bygone time, has settled into her new life after the end of the world better than she'd thought possible. She has a purpose, a routine, a sense of security in her quiet little corner of the map, so far from the troubles that besiege the rest of the wasteland. No longer does she have to worry about passing as someone other than herself in order to follow pervasive social mores or fear the looks of strangers as they measure her every facial expression against what they perceive as normal.

But surviving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland is anything but easy work. The needs of her body drive her further and further away from safety and deep into that which she fears most...

Notes: The Abernathy family is visited by a peculiar stranger.

Also featuring:

- A small child envisions the pre-war world as a lot more awesome than it actually was.

- Maybe stimming with guns isn't the best of ideas.

Chapter 1: Smoke Signals

Lucy was the one who first saw the smoke rising from Sanctuary. It was early in the morning as she stumbled blearily out the door, meaning to milk Clarabell and use it to make a good portion of razorgrain porridge for breakfast. Her bucket was not where she had left it. Quietly grumbling to herself, she circled around to the other side of the house, in the hopes that her mother had forgotten it by the pump again.

And there it was, clear as day. A thin, gray line against the blue sky. A campfire in Sanctuary.

Someone was over there.

She told her parents about it over breakfast, her voice low and calm, in a desperate bid to keep them as much as herself from panicking. After all, the odds were that it was nothing. It was not entirely unheard of for scavengers, vagrants and merchants to pass through the old suburb every now and again. A leaking roof and a wall full of holes is still shelter enough for a weary body when you’ve been on the road for weeks.

Then again…the thought hung, unspoken, ominous, a silent black cloud drifting over the breakfast table. Odds were not something that had ever been in the favor of the Abernathy family.

Blake took the news in stride, all things considered. His spoon barely paused in its route to his mouth as he hurriedly reassured the family that he’d keep a close eye on their new neighbor, that there was most likely nothing to worry about, but that he would feel quite a bit better if he could have a look at everyone’s weapons sometime today. Lucy took her gun out of its makeshift holster right then and there and passed it over the table to her father. Her mother followed suit, those old lines of worry crinkling her forehead once again.

Around noon, Blake took a break from his fieldwork and sat out in back at the pile of crates they’d turned into a workbench, taking each gun apart and meticulously cleaning each piece one by one, with a thin twig wound round with cotton. While he was unaware, Lucy snuck away from her chores to peer around the corner and with a start, saw how badly his hands were shaking as he worked. How tight his jaw was. How sad, his eyes.

She saw Mary falling to the ground again and again in her mind’s eye, her father charging like a madman at the raider who had done it, clawing at every inch of that monster’s exposed flesh, gouging his eye with a red-handled screwdriver. At that, the rest of them had fled.

And Mary was buried at the edge of the fields.

***

The haunted suburb over the hill had always been something of a mixed blessing to the Abernathy family. When they needed new fence posts or a hunk of corrugated metal, it was a damn sight easier than any other option to pop over there and pry what they sought from the packed earth and the sides of the old family homes.

Lucy’s father had taken her on many such adventures when she was a young girl. She could still remember the first time she’d departed the boundaries of the farm - she must have been seven or eight, perhaps a little younger. Her pa had saddled up the old brahmin, stowed a collection of tools in the saddlebags and hefted her on top. She’d waved goodbye to her sister and mother as they vanished around the bend, farther away already than they had ever been in her entire life thus far.

She could still see her father’s hand - the skin softer than it was now, the bony knuckles not quite so pronounced - resting on his gun, tensed to draw it at the first sign of trouble. She hadn’t understood then. Were they going to kill rabbits? Her younger self had been quite certain that they were not. "Scah-ven-ging," her father had plainly said that morning over cold porridge left over from the day before. "I'm taking Lucy scah-ven-ging today. If it's all well and good with you, Connie?"

It was all very confusing to a child who had never seen a ghoul and knew nothing but fairy tales about Super Mutants.

She was not sure what she was expecting to see. Another farm, but broken down? That was the sanest image her imagination could conjure. Or would it be all blood and spikes, like the stronghold of the Master, the Evil Super Mutant Prince who had held an entire kingdom under his great green foot until a hero had come and put him in his place?

Thoughts of fairy tales did not leave her mind as they toddled on, passing by the oddest-shaped building she had yet seen. Her father had told her that it was one of the last remnants of a mystic order which once had the power to command inanimate pieces of metal into life. She giggled at first and then sternly told him that she was far too old to believe such things any longer. "Oh!" her father had gasped, his eyes widening with mock sorrow, "Does that mean that you're too old to be my princess too?"

She was thoroughly considering the question when they turned around the bend and found themselves peering over the edge into another world. Every thought was dashed from Lucy's mind in an instant. Crossing the rickety old bridge, its timbers groaning in seemingly agonizing pain beneath the weight of the brahmin, was like entering a long-abandoned fairy kingdom. The houses all seemed so strange, alien, as they looked back at them through empty windows and crooked holes, like gaps where teeth once were in a deranged grin. She felt dizzy as she looked around, her imagination working overtime. It was like nothing she’d ever seen before, nothing she’d ever imagined existing. Where was the windmill, the feeding troughs, the water pump? Who lived here like that?

Grinning from ear to ear, her father had handed her a claw hammer and a plastic cup and the corners of his eyes crinkling in merriment, told her to gather all the nails she could find. Just before she ran off, he grabbed her by the back of the collar and reeled her in. "There's a robot that lives in these parts." he said solemnly, all seriousness, "He takes care of his old family's house. I'm not sure if he'll be here today, but if you see him, be polite and you'll be just fine." Lucy nodded sagely, trying hard to contain her brimming excitement. It felt like joy was bursting out of every pore of her skin. A real-life guardian of a haunted village! A doomed knight, fated to serve his dead lord! It was far too much. She barely registered the fact that her father had pulled a crowbar from the pack and was setting about the markedly less-glamorous job of prying loose a section of crumbling wall.

She strolled along, the hammer heavy in her hand, the cup all but forgotten as she peeked through windows and ducked under doors, populating the empty rooms with visions of warm families and glowing lights. There was something so beautifully tragic about the rusty shells, the gaping emptiness of a space left behind.

It was so different from her little farm, way out in the middle of nowhere, visited by no one but the occasional traveling merchant or passing scavenger. So many people, all of them living in one place. How many could fit in one house? she mused, A family of ten, at least. The numerous fenced-in yards must have been where they grew their food, though they seemed hardly big enough for the job and many of them were littered with old chairs and furniture.

Every once in a while she stumbled upon a tiny house, a smaller version of the big ones just large enough for her to crawl into on her hands and knees. Naturally, she assumed that this was where the children must have lived until they were tall enough to get into the big houses. She came away from the experience rather more glad that such barbaric practices were no longer part of parenting today.

She did not gather much in the way of nails that day.

It wasn’t entirely her fault. Most of the good stuff had already been looted long before the Abernathy family were even a speck on the horizon. It must have been an exceedingly attractive place after the war - all those stocked pantries, the wiring in the walls, the medicine cabinets ripe for the picking. And of course, the easy building materials. She wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if every raider within twenty miles had some part of Sanctuary built into the walls of their hideaways.

Every once in a while, as the years passed and she became more adept at stripping what she needed from the blasted land, a spare chem or a can of food ten times as old as her might turn up. She gained a knack for wrenching rusty nails from the walls that anyone else would write off as hopeless causes and digging out lip-smacking mutfruits from the tangle of vines that consumed the backyards of many of the houses. But on the whole, it was a place that served very little use but for scrap. Scavengers tended to avoid it and raiders passed it up for more lucrative targets. No, that was not the reason why her father looked to the north with fear, his fingers tapping on his gun as the column of gray smoke made its appearance once again.

The danger was its very location.

It was far too good of a setup - an island surrounded on all sides by irradiated water, accessible only by a single choke point. All it would take was one savvy raider to tip the scale in a direction no one wanted to go. Extortion, gunpoint bargaining, savage beasts set on the non-compliant for sport. They’d heard too many similar stories from other farms, too many tragedies of burgeoning industry set upon by thieving hands and greedy hearts.

Blake Abernathy had considered taking out the bridge more than once. A load of well-placed explosives would solve that problem fast enough. It was ancient and sturdy, its foundations rooted in the river like a petrified tree, but given a stern push, there was little doubt that it would go sooner or later.

They just hadn’t gotten around to doing it. Sanctuary was too rich in building materials, there was always other work to do, explosives cost more caps than anyone was willing to part with right now and when was any of that ever going to be a problem anyway?

And so it remained, the wind whistling through its quiet rooms, the accumulated trash of centuries blowing across its cracked sidewalks, the swings of its silent playground creaking ominously when stirred. It slumbered there, in its crumbling glory, all but waiting for someone to cross the chasm and claim it.

***

The thefts started a week later.

At first it was small things - a tato plant stripped of fruit, a wrench gone missing, the old welding mask most certainly not where it was supposed to have been. Not much of value was ever taken and the thief did not appear to be a particularly daring one. Their savings remained locked away safely inside, their food stores untouched, their makeshift arsenal left alone.

But the violation of privacy was more than enough to put Blake Abernathy on permanent edge. His hand constantly drifted over his pistol as he worked. Movement in the bushes startled him every single time. After dinner he would sit out on the veranda, rifle in hand and wait, watching for hours until he was too tired to keep his eyes open.

Connie was just as distraught. She gained a tenseness and a hardness that Lucy had not seen in her since the day of her sister’s death and had very much been hoping she would never see again. She was frustrated by the smallest things, angry at everyone, crushingly sorrowful when she thought no one was watching. Every time she yelled at Lucy for some minuscule infraction, she’d almost immediately take it back, apologizing repeatedly, constantly, to the point of agonizing distraction, by tearfully confessing how much she loves her.

Lucy went about her chores as though nothing was wrong, telling herself that lie again and again until she half-believed it herself, until it was nearly, but not entirely, concrete fact. But her anxiety was like a constant whine in the background, a machine turning in the distance, its purpose obscure and the location of its controls long lost to time.

She slept with her gun on her pillow and glanced up for smoke signals in the sky more often than she cared to admit.

***

Nearly a month after the thefts had started, Blake Abernathy was dozing on the veranda, rifle on his knee, the thought of going to bed for the night getting more attractive by the minute. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes for perhaps the tenth time that night and was about to leave his post - when he saw it.

A shadowy figure, crawling on hands and knees, creeping around the edge of the melon patch, its hands closing around a particularly juicy specimen.

Lucy had heard a shout and the sound of two shots fired in quick succession. She met her mother’s wide eyes and wild hair at the door and together, the two of them pushed through.

Blake was strolling through the fields, the rifle dangling lackadaisically from his fingers, his other hand clenched into a fist at his side.

Connie fussed and worried as he walked through the door, his face stern and impassive. He sat heavily at the dinner table, the old chair creaking and groaning beneath his solid weight. Without being asked, Connie poured him a shot of whiskey and passed it across the table.

He laid the gun down gently beside him, downed the shot in one go and confessed that he was not certain if he had wounded their visitor, though he had meant only to fire warning shots. Connie patted his hand reassuringly, saying that it would all look better in the morning. Lucy felt sick to her stomach. She eyed the whiskey, weighing the pros and cons of a shot for herself and thought better of it.

After a restless night and a dreary morning, when she’d dragged herself out of bed to tend to Clarabelle, she stumbled across a scrap of brilliant blue fabric caught on a fence post. She gazed at it, blinking confusedly, for a moment wondering how a physical piece of sky had come to rest on their farm. It blew in the wind, jewel-like and strange, smooth to the touch, its threads barely noticeable, as unlike her mother’s rough homespun as it could possibly be.

Her parents assumed it to be part of the uniform of a new raider outfit. There were strange ones out there, ones who covered themselves in body paint and gleaming jewelry and brightly colored furs and howled at the moon. And it was not entirely beyond the pale to stumble upon a cache of finely preserved fabric from the old world, despite how otherworldly it all seemed to Lucy.

They swept through the woods together after breakfast but, rather thankfully, found no blood or sign of a struggle.

The thefts ceased entirely after that.

Lucy checked for the smoke rising from Sanctuary out of the corner of her eye every morning, a small ritual to ease her conscience. There were many days when it did not come at all, when she feared that the stranger over the hill was sick or injured or dying alone in a miserable shack. But then a week would pass and once again, she’d see the sign that there was life over the hill. It made her glad in a way she couldn’t explain, having someone, anyone else living close by, watching for the smoke from their campfire.

As time went on, her father calmed down and stopped cleaning the guns every single day. Her mother’s tenseness evaporated in starts and stops until one day she was humming as she worked once again.

***

It was late enough for the brightest stars of the night to wink into existence in the deepening darkness of the sky when Lucy kicked the door open, her arms fully laden with a bucket of rapidly browning carrot peels. They would make almost as good an addition to the compost heap as Clarabelle’s cowpats. The peelings that they hadn’t fried and made into carrot fritters for dinner, that is.

The three of them had spent an excruciatingly long day armed with knives and scrap buckets, peeling and chopping the leftover bounty of their harvest for pickling. Tomorrow they’d finish up most of the canning. Tonight the floor was covered with trough after trough of marinating vegetables and it stunk of vinegar to the rafters. The results of the process were never quite as good as Lucy had hoped they would be - everything lost its flavor in due time and by the end of the winter every beautiful color of nature was reduced to a lifeless, tasteless gray. But it kept them healthy in the lean months and that was all that mattered.

Lost in her thoughts of how she’d entertain herself come winter, she dumped the peelings on to the pile, thumping the bottom of the bucket loudly to get them all out. She imagined that she’d make another attempt at reading a book. Neither of her parents were terribly literate and she was not far ahead of them in her studies. The last time she’d gone to Diamond City, she’d sat in the back of the one-room schoolhouse and taken in all she could from the single lesson she was permitted. The teacher and his robot had given her some of their lesson plans and a load of verbal encouragement after it was over. Every so often during the summer, when she had a moment before bed, she’d take that lesson plan out and trace the letters with her finger, one by one. There were a few more words that she could identify now - dog, cat, rake, melon. It wasn’t quite enough to make sense of a sentence yet, but she was getting there. Writing words in the dirt with a stick was like performing magic in front of her parents and their reaction never ceased to entertain her.

She turned away, her head abuzz with plans and thoughts of bed when she suddenly found herself staring down an expressionless face. The bucket slipped from her fingers, falling to the soft dirt with the quietest of whumphs. She could hear her heart pounding inside her ears, her blood rushing through her veins.

It took her a moment to realize that the face was not a face, but a mask. A welding mask, its eyes a single slit of bulletproof glass, regarding her coolly. She noted the dent in the chin where she’d most definitely dropped it as a child playing pretend and her eyes narrowed. The figure wearing it crept forward. Involuntarily, her heart racing in her chest so fast she thought it fit to burst, Lucy lurched backwards.

The figure drew a silvery pistol from the depths of its hide jacket and held it, their hands shaking, the sound of a button rapidly clicking on and off audible from where she was.

Fear coursing through her veins, her hand shot to her side and scrabbled at empty air. My pipe pistol… she thought dizzily, seeing its exact location in her mind’s eye. Sitting on the makeshift workbench, half a broken screw hopelessly stuck in the receiver...

How fast could they get here if I screamed? she thought, the sour taste of fear rising in her mouth, Not faster than a bullet, surely.

The intruder was advancing.

The gun was in the figure’s left hand now, glinting coldly in the moonlight, pointing only at the earth. She could see more clearly as the stranger approached, that they were swathed in a cape of shoddy hides sewn together with comical amounts of twine, the copious holes patched with bits of silvery duct tape. Lucy could hear them breathing heavily as they got closer, wheezing with every step, dragging their right leg piteously behind them as they limped into the open. She saw a dark blotch on the calf of their leather leggings and a trail of dark liquid snaking down the leg to vanish into the confines of a profusely duct-taped boot.

With a shuddering jolt, the intruder stopped, perhaps a mere foot and half away from her and slowly raised their right hand to the level of their chest. She saw a flash of brilliant blue fabric as the hide cape parted to reveal some sort of tight-fitting suit beneath, stained, worn and patched like the rest of the stranger’s getup. Lucy smelled the too-familiar tang of iron in the air and noted the dried rust on the stranger’s shaking hand. Her heart skipped a beat and then slowed, just for a fraction of a second.

“Do you…” she whispered, her voice coming out in an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak, “…need help? W-We have medicine. I-It’s yours if you…”

The only answer she received was the impassible glint of the moonlight on the glass of the faceless welding mask. The stranger was fumbling with a pouch on their chest, trying again and again to undo a tiny bone clasp that they just couldn’t seem to get their quivering fingers around. Slowly, her pity outweighing her fear at this point, Lucy reached out a hand to help them, just barely brushing the back of the stranger’s hand. The visitor flinched as though Lucy had struck them across the face, sinking into the cape as though it were a protective blanket that a child might hide from monsters under.

“I’m sorry!” Lucy gasped, “I…I didn’t mean…”

She heard a deep intake of air from beneath the mask and then the cape was pulled open to more easily reveal the pouch. It was attached to a crude bandolier slung across the figure’s chest, its stitches awkward and ungainly. The tip of her tongue between her teeth, her own hands shaking now, she carefully took hold of the tiny bit of bone and threaded it through the loop of twine that served as a catch.

With a grunt of satisfaction, the stranger batted her hand away and slid two fingers into the tiny opening. When they were withdrawn, there was a long, delicate, chain tangled about them. Jewelry? It certainly didn't have any other practical use.

For a split second, the thought of tackling the intruder to the ground right now! flashed across her mind. Knocking the gun from their hand while they were distracted, racing for shelter, screaming at the top of her lungs while there was still a chance…

The thought evaporated as quickly as morning dew. With one last tug, the chain was free of its confines and the object on the end of it catching the light of the stars. It was a locket, the clasp broken, its tiny hinges held together with far more wishes than actual screws. It spun slowly in the night air as the stranger gradually reached out, their hand unsteady. Realizing what was happening far later than she should have, she hastily held out her hand and the stranger rested it gently in her waiting palm.

Hardly believing what it was she was looking at, she squinted at the picture inside in the dim light of the stars and glimpsed a tiny version of her own face looking back at her. She was smiling broadly in the way that children, but never adults in this world tend to do, the gap in her front teeth proudly displayed, a shredding tato sack dress gracing her skinny shoulders. A moment before her vision was blurred by tears, she saw Mary standing beside her in the picture, flexing her muscles, a grim look of mock-determination on her face.

She started to cry in earnest, her sturdy shoulders heaving with sobs in front of the shadowy stranger. Mary’s locket! To see it again, to hold the one picture of her sister that had ever existed, taken by the one working camera any of them had ever seen. It was -

“He-ey…” she said softly to the visitor, hurriedly breaking out of her reverie, “I’ve got a stimpack inside if you…”

The stranger was gone as though they had never existed. Only the still trees cast their shadows on the tall grass.

***

Soon after that, the Abernathy family and the lone resident of Sanctuary adopted something of an unspoken truce. If a bushel of tatoes went missing in the night, that was not the end of the world. In all likelihood, it’d be replaced by a brace of fresh radroaches within the week. Other presents sometimes appeared on the doorstep as well - boxes of scavenged screws, nails, a pair of shoes exactly Connie’s size at the exact moment when it could be declared that her old pair had given up the ghost.

Once or twice a year, Blake Abernathy filled up a basket with anything that could be spared and left it at the barricade by the old bridge. Lucy made sure there was always some sort of medicine packed and a proper needle and thread. They never saw anyone come out to pick it up, but by the next day it was always gone. That was thanks enough for them.

In the early days, they had tried to contact the stranger and failed every single time - even when they could see the fire burning behind the barricade and knew that there must be someone behind the wall tending it. Connie had considered it odd and excruciatingly rude behavior at first and vented her frustrations to anyone who would listen. For a long time a hard ball of disappointment formed in Lucy’s stomach when she looked to the sky and knew that she would most likely never see the person on the other end of that thread of smoke again.

In the end, they made their peace easily enough with the quiet friend who lived on the other side of the hill. There are stranger things roaming the Commonwealth, after all.

Notes: Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading.

Next up: a patch of sunshine in a gloomy world.

[llturner7]

I give credit to whom ever did this awesome artwork. It’s not by me but by someone else that I can’t remember their name.

A Moment in Time Chapter 2: Sitala

The moon is veiled by storm clouds, moving from the west. A faint sound of thunder rumbles as the wind picks up. He can smell the rain coming. He looks back down to me, still in his arms as my sobbing has quieted down. Slowly he slides his arms underneath me and lifts me up. Opening my eyes, I see him carrying me and I don’t know what to think or feel. I lost everything before and I am afraid. He looks straight ahead, focused on taking me back home. The tail end of his bandana gently brushes my face and without thinking I grab it lightly and feel the worn fabric between my fingers. So post in thought in my memories I’m unaware of him watching me until I meet his deep blue eyes. Gulping, I let the fabric slip from fingers. I don’t know what to do anymore, I lost everything including my family and husband. The only thing I have is my wedding ring that I wear on a chain, a constant reminder of my promise to him. That promise I’m desperate to hold onto and my heart is betraying that. I hate myself for it. I look away, but not before I see his gentle smile. We reach the canyon and come up to the logs. With no moonlight to shine it’s silver beams out, it’s pitch black. The only source of light we have is the lightning flashes, that are closer then ever. Trembling with nervousness, I think how in the world I was able to cross this canyon to begin with. “I’ve got you,” his voice calm and soothing as he looks down at me in his arms. Nodding, I know that if I say anything my voice might betray on how I feel and think. I tense as he steps onto the log and makes his way across. I can feel myself sway in his arms as he carefully goes across. The feeling of being in his arms is to familiar and tears start to form again. At the very moment it began to rain as if the sky knows my pain. I close my eyes and rest my face against his plastron as I drift into a sea of dreams and nightmares.

“Is she alright?” Donnie asks, running up to Leo who is carrying me in his arms. “She’s alright, just asleep,” Leo nods, stepping out of the forest. Donnie peers down at him, in Leo’s arms, checking to make sure I am indeed okay and not hurt. Satisfied, he looks at his older brother to see many emotions flow through and then masked by a calm expression. Heading inside, they are greeted by Mikey, Raph, April, and Casey. “Oh thank God you guys,are alright!” April rushes forward and stops. “What happened out there?” Raph asks lightly, touching my face and then withdraws his hand. He looks at Leo wanting to know. “My son’s and daughter, let him take her to bed and then he will answer your questions,” Master Splinter walks into the living room. Everyone grows silent and moves away to let Leo carry me upstairs to one of the rooms. Leo gently lays me down on the bed and covers me with a quilt. He stands there watching me sleep. It takes every ounce of willpower for him to walk out of the room. The moment him and his brothers encountered me several months ago, he felt a bond with me. One that he can’t explain but knew that I belong to him. He glances at me one more time, as if he is afraid I won’t be there, then turns and head back down the stairs. “Goodnight Sitala,” Leo whispers with love. Chapter 3: Unfold I wake to the sound of rain softly hitting the window. How long have I been out? I continue to stare out the window, mesmerised how mystic the forest looks with the rain as if it should belong in a fairy tale. Closing my eyes, memories flash through my mind. Grief and sadness becoming unbearable for me to contain and so I focus on the one that is the cause of it all. Anger takes over and I allow myself to soak it in. Breathing out a sigh, I step away from the window and leave the room. After a warm shower, I pause at the top of the stairs. I close my eyes and try to steady my nerves and my breathing. How do I act around them? I ran off to get away from them, not because they are bad but because they are a constant reminder of my family. Like Pandora’s box, my locked away feelings and memories came flooding back overwhelming me. The only thing that i instinctively did without thinking was run away. Taking a deep breath I descend the stairs to face them. “I sure hope she’s okay,“ April sighs as she cooks breakfast. “You and everyone else. I can’t imagine what she’s going through after losing her home,” Casey says leaning against the counter and looking out the window,“ I’ve never seen so much pain and sorrow in someone like her when she looked at Leo yesterday.” April remains quiet, deep in thought over the exact same thing. What really happened to me to make be in so much pain? She looks up and out the window seeing the brothers training with Master Splinter. The way Leo looked at me, she knew that there was some kind of connection a bond between the two of us. For a moment she saw hidden love glint off of my eyes for a moment and then vanished with a hardness. April’s heart broken at the sight. A hidden past that is slowly torturing me. “All we can do is be there for her no matter what. What we do know is that she has a hatred for Krang,” She goes back to finish cooking. Casey looks at April and kisses her,“ She’s not alone.” I stand there by the doorway of the kitchen overhearing April and Casey talking. I just can’t be the friend and family that you all so desperately want me to be a part of. I remain there for several minutes letting the two of them have their private moment of making out. A smile creeps on my face for the first time in so long as I can hear them both moan. Man they act the same even here. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts and move away from my hiding spot, heading towards the front door. Stepping out on the porch, I inhale the freshness that the rain brings and sit on the porch steps. Leo rolls his shoulders back and stretch his neck to relieve the tension in his back. He looks up at the sky to see that there won’t be a break in the clouds anytime soon. Not that he minded, since him and his family live in the sewers. It’s been nice to be able to go outside in the daytime and not at night, where humans can see them. After Krang invaded Earth several months ago, all of the NYPD and swat members has seen them. They were accepted by them and had the opportunity to live normal lives, but they declined the offer. Who wants to live a normal life anyways? But that wasn’t all that happened though. Shredder had managed to build the teleportstion device and open a gateway for Krang to come through. Imagine their surprise when I fell through and landed right on the technodrome. “Hey let’s go inside, I’m sure April has breakfast ready,” Raph bumps his shoulder with his fist. “Yeah I’ll be right in,” Leo nods and shifts his gaze to Raph. Donnie and Mikey had already went inside. Leo huffs and follows Raph inside, hoping to get answers about what happened yesterday. But something tells him that it’s complicated and a very deep hidden truth I’m keeping from them. I can hear Mikey shouting that breakfast is ready to his brothers and me, but I remain outside. I’m not ready to face any of them right now. I smile at the sound of Mikey and his contagious loud childish happy. Closing my eyes a memory creeps out of the dark into light. It’s becoming more and more difficult to keep my memories and emotions locked away. “Sitala?” My breath hitches at the sound of his voice and an unwanted feeling sparks in my heart. Turning around, I see leo standing there watching me curiously. “Mornin,” I stand up and look up at him. “Are you doing alright?” He asks, coming closer to me. “Yes, it’s just everything caught up to me. I’m sorry for running out like that,” a sigh escapes my lips and I look back to the forest. Leo stood there studying me as I look off in the distance. A few white strands of my hair slips from my French braided hair and falls to the side of my face. He resists through urge to tuck those few rogue strands and instead follows my gaze. “Beautiful isn’t it?” He quietly says, not wanting to disturb the calm moment. I glance back up to him, studying him. Many questions reside behind those piercing deep blue eyes, but there is patience. He is so different in both physical and personality wise then him. I watch his throat constrict as he moves his mouth and how his nostrils tend to flare when he huffs a heavy sigh. His muscles twitch and flex as he moves his arms and leans against the porch railing. Turning my attention back to the forest,“ it is, but we can’t stay here forever you know. He will come back and when he does its going to get worse.” I start to head back inside only to have Leo gently grasp my hand. “Tell me?” I look back at him to see a pleading look on his face,“ Krang cares not about anybody only about conquering and being a ruler of the universe. He’s ruthless and will do anything to accomplish his goal.” “You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” He sighs knowing that I’m avoiding my past. I simply look at him and head inside, leaving him to stare after me. I pause just outside of the kitchen, hearing the laughter and chatter going on as everyone is eating. How I miss it. Taking a deep breath I enter the kitchen and at first everyone is talking but when Mikey sees me, he grows quiet. His smile warm, shoves away from the table and rushes over to hug me. “I’m glad your okay,” He happily says, resting his cheek on top of my head. Not knowing what to say I hug him back and pat him on his shell. Pulling away from Mikey’s arm, everyone is staring at me. A mixture of happiness and concern etched on their faces. I catch Master Splinter’s gaze and can see that he knows something. Leo comes up behind me, placing his hand on my lower back, nudges me further in the kitchen. “Don’t just stand there. Come on and eat before Mikey eats it all,” Raph smiles and motions to a seat between him and Donnie. “That doesn’t surprise me at all if he does eat it all,” chuckling, I look up at Leo smiling as we both head to the table. “Hey,” Mikey playfully pouts. Leo pulls my chair out for me before he goes to his own seat. I look up at him and smile my thanks. Once seated Donnie places a plate, already full of food, in front of me. For a while everyone eats in silence enjoying the morning and the sound of rain. It’s been a long time since I’ve ate a meal with anyone. I pick at my food and slowly eat, not really hungry, but make efforts to eat so not to worry anybody. Glancing up, Leo watches me with such intensity that I look back down at my food. “I was thinking we can watch movies, since it’s still raining out,” Mikey suggests breaking the silence. “That sounds like a good idea and possibly some board games that I have stored in the closet,” April smiles agreeing with Mikey’s suggestion. “It’s not like we have anything better else to do,” Raph chimes in. “I think we all can use some time to relax. It’s been a rough week for everyone,” Donnie says getting up and placing his plate in the sink. I look up at him, his head cooked to the side. His smile lights up his eyes, that hide behind his big glasses. He’s like glue to the family, trying to keep the peace. I smile back, not wanting to to worry him or anyone else and turn my attention back to my food. Leo watches me, noticing the slightest gently expression on my face as if I knew them somehow. “Thank you for the breakfast April,” I get up and smile at her. “Your welcome. Listen if you ever want to talk I’m here for you,” She encourages me in hopes that I’ll open up a bit to her. “Thank you,” is all I say, giving her a warm smile. April heaves a sigh. She can’t help but feel such sadness emitting from me. She watches as I leave the kitchen towards the front door. “Give her time my daughter. She bares a heavy burden on her shoulders and if we continue to push her, the more she withdraws,” Master Splinter says, placing his hand on her shoulder. “I know but I cant help feel….I don’t know how to explain it,” She looks down at him, her brows furrowed together puzzled and thoughtful. “Hmmmm,” Splinter hums as he strokes his beard, staring at my retreating back,“ I agree. There is more than meets the eye.” Casey and the brothers having already retreated to either the living room or somewhere else in the house, leaving her and Master Splinter in the kitchen. I head back outside, not wanting to be in the confines of the house just yet. I unconsciously slip my necklace out from underneath my shirt, the chain possessing two wedding bands. FLASHBACK The rain stings my face as I run through the trees, looking back every now and then to see if I’m still being followed. Believing that I lost him, I grin triumphantly that is until I feel myself being grabbed by hands. Letting out a yelp, I look behind me to see him smirk,“ thought you could get away let alone try to loose me in the forest huh?” “Nope not from you,” I laugh as I lean into him still breathing hard from running. “Your hopeless you know that,” He leans down, pressing his forehead against mine, chuckling. I smile, enjoying the rare moment we have together before his brothers show up. Our breathing begins to slow and our eyes closed as we both listen to the sounds of the forest. His hands glide down my arms and intertwine his fingers through mine. “I love you,” He whispers placing a kiss on my forehead and pulls away a bit, looking towards the direction he came from. Sure enough, within a few seconds we can hear his brothers shouting from where he is looking. “I love you to,” I giggle and kiss him on the cheek before I took off again, running towards his brothers. END OF FLASHBACK Blinking my eyes open from the raindrops, I drop my gaze letting the rain wash away the memory. I slowly begin to move my feet apart and position my body in a fighting stance. I close my eyes again, this time not to remember but to clear my mind and let my body move naturally into fighting positions. I sweep my foot around bringing my hands up in defense. Without stopping, I lunge forward to an imaginary enemy. Going from one stance to another, I flow through the rain as if I’m dancing. Master Splinter stands on the porch watching me move with such fluidity, as if I’m a true Master. He narrows his eyes and stroke his beard as he recognizes a bit of ninjustu mixed with shaolin martial arts. Lowering himself to the wooden floor of the porch, he observes and waits. He can sense a,deep sadness mixed with the loneliness intertwine with my movements. Closing his eyes, he allows himself to feel and understand these strong emotions flowing out of me. “In the darkness you will find him,” a voice whispers through the rain. Master Splinter eyes shoots open upon hearing a soft voice echo from the forest. He glances over to me, seeing me stand there staring in the direction of the forest. In the treeline is a dark shadow. Finally got this done. Hope you all like it. Comment, heart or reblog wither way I just want others to enjoy my stories.