#saan plays bg3

[saanphoenix]

"Oh, I remember this mirror. I'll switch to Astarion because he's better at persuading things! :)"

The choices:

Me:

[saanphoenix]

My Astarion romance is intriguing me, because he's so damn obvious with what he's doing, and my Tav is just going along with it in a, "Okay, honey, whatever you say," sorta way.

Like, I chose the option at the party that was just, "You don't have to ask me twice," instead of everyone's favorite, "You can do better than that." And like...Astarion is so OBVIOUSLY trying to say what he thinks you want to hear. He actually takes pauses and looks to the side as he chooses his words. And Saan's just staring at him like, "Oh, bless your heart. You really don't have to try that hard, but A for effort."

But also, because I passed the Insight check in the Infernal back in the first sex scene, I still got the scene where Astarion is checking his back. And the dialogue is a little changed, because even though Saan can't understand Infernal, she can get right to the point and show him and ask if Cazador ever wrote in Infernal before, if they should get the others involved because they might be able to help, and like...

It feels like she's going along with the seduction tactics Astarion is using because she genuinely does care about him and doesn't want him to like...feel bad that he's not as slick as he thinks he is? He's got this air of, "Why are you helping me? This isn't your problem?" with the scars scene and she's just like, "Even my sleeping with you has been trying to help you, you just haven't caught on yet. Now shut up and turn around."

Fascinating.

[saanphoenix]

I really like the one dialogue option with Astarion early on where you can, if you tip-toe lightly, be all, "So, you think power lets you do whatever without consequences?" And Astarion's just like, "...Yes. You can't look at the world and tell me that's not true." Because 1) it gives a good first look into his mindset and trauma, and 2) ...it's kinda funny having him say that to my character who's been running around curbstomping folks with that exact opinion. Son, I just murdered a pack of goblins because they thought they could tie a gnome to a windmill and nothing would happen to them for it. Like, I understand you probably now perceive me as the More Powerful and thus I will, like, suffer no consequences for my actions, but no. No, I then got my shit wrecked by a very pissed off, horny ogre. Power ain't everything. ...Now, take this possessed book seemingly made of flesh and play with it.

[saanphoenix]

Nothing has confused me more in these 24 hours of Act 1 quite like Astarion approving of helping the myconids.

And then my two-hours-past-bedtime brain kicked in and went, "Well, he did make it a point to say they had better hospitality than the druids."

And now I'm like, "......Is the whole reason you were all pissy about helping the druids was because they were treating the tieflings like shit?"

Like, I know he also will disapprove of doing certain things that help the tieflings, but I think THAT ties into him being all, "Save yourself. I had to (sorta). No one was going to save me!" issue. But like...

He didn't like them being in his head and then, when he learned about them helping the deep gnome, he was just like, "They cool." Followed by, "Yes, we SHOULD get revenge on evil dwarves for killing children mushroom people."

This man's moral compass is an enigma and it fascinates me so.

Also, he threatened to go through me because I wouldn't give him the tadpole I yoinked outta a guy but he ALSO didn't Disapprove of me telling him he couldn't have it, so like... WILL you, though? Will you?

[saanphoenix]

I got the scene where Astarion's all, "How would you like to be killed?" And I answered a knife. And then I asked, "And what about you? How do you wanna be killed?" And he, as you know, is all, "Ha ha, I'd like to see you try."

And, given Saan's fighting prowess so far, I feel he said this less because he's an arrogant vampire spawn and more because he was 100% remembering her do stupid shit in fights and is probably envisioning her try to take his head with a Cleave from that flaming sword of hers, only for her to miss, spin in place, fall, and then crack her head open on a rock. And he wouldn't even have to move to avoid it.

[saanphoenix]

This is all Astarion had to say about letting Gandrel live by us just walking away from him. Do Not understand why so many people kill him.

I can't even remember what I said here. I think I asked what he'd done to have hunters after him??

Of course, I picked 1. Of course, I got the, "You Fool! Do you Not Know how Vampires work?!" speech. To which I was like, "Okay, then, what do we do?"

...You don't know, do ya, son? Alright, then. Let me handle it. Maybe I'll find a stronger sword by the time we get to Baldur's Gate. I've only been using the same flaming one for 60 hours so far.

[saanphoenix]

Saan: "Yeah, sure, Gale! I'll learn some magic with you! That sounds like fun!"

Gale:

Me: "........ Boy, why you that close? What's happening here? What are we?"

[saanphoenix]

Looool.

Gale: "If you want me to leave, just say the word and I'll go."

Saan: "Well, let's see what the others think first."

Astarion: "You would put it up to a debate? That walking Netherese bomb about to blow should be a dot on the horizon by now!"

Saan: "Okay, ignoring you. Shadowheart?"

Shadowheart: "Lawl, I don't care."

Saan: "Okay, well, I was going to let you stay regardless of what they said. Welcome aboard! ...Again!"

Astarion, staring daggers into the back of her head.

Sorry, honey boo-boo, he's Useful. Magic Missile MVP.

[saanphoenix]

So, got the bite scene and decided to choose the option about, "I do. I trust you," instead of the, "You tried to BITE me!" one, and I've never seen anyone click that? So, it was interesting seeing Astarion be all, "Cool! Can you, like, trust me just a ~little~ more? And let me bite you? u3u."

Saan: "Yeah, okay."

Astarion:

Probably thinking, "Holy shit, that worked..."

[saanphoenix]

So, I did the bugbear/ogre fight and had a not great time of it because...I did not long rest before going in there after fighting a small army of goblins. And I used all my healing potions on that damn Spider Matriarch.

I...still don't know if I'm romancing Gale or not? Accidentally, of course. But my character steady going, "GALE, NO!" whenever he gets downed. Anyway, Astarion got Dead right at the end because he failed his save roll, and I had to use a scroll to revive him. And then I talked to him, expecting him to mention the whole death thing.

But no.

No, he was like, "U want sum fuq?" instead. Which...yes. I do. But timing, bruv? You were dead just a second ago, and we're all covered in blood and bruises.

So, we have some sex, just to be clear, and then I ask him about the scars. ...And my Human Fighter passes the Arcana check to identify the writing as Infernal. To which she goes, "Why'd he write it on Infernal?" And Astarion's like, "Infernal???"

But like... My character is still buck ass naked. We are having this casual conversation about some "demonic poetry" while I am free as a jaybird. ...Which isn't shocking, but it does make it seem like my character is already really chill about being domestically intimate with Astarion to just be chatting away while mosquitoes bite places they have no business biting.

[saanphoenix]

Gale's approval of Saan: Very High

The day before:

Saan: "There's something behind this wall, I just know it." *accidentally slashes Gale with Everburning Blade because controller targeting*

Gale: "UGH!"

Saan: "......."

Gale: "Something on your mind?"

Saan: "..... No. Nope. Just gonna-- *leaves* 😬"

[saanphoenix]

There is just something infinitely funny to me that Astarion Goes Off about the dangers of vampires, and their wolves, and their poofing abilities, when:

This is the woman he's talking to. This is what she looked like after getting pummeled by not one but TWO minotaurs and still did not die.

Is Cazador dangerous? Absolutely. Is that going to deter the woman who killed the bulette in the Underdark because it wouldn't leave her the fuck alone? No. No, it will not.

[saanphoenix]

Saan @ Astarion after being downed by one smack of that 'Tyr Paladin's greatsword:

Astarion, with his 3 piddly HP points and an archer at his back:

[saanphoenix]

Okay, y'all need to understand how dumb I am.

So, I got the quest from the myconids to kill the duergar. But I got a little confused. Like, "Which ones?" So I go to the beach and remember I can go across to the area with the gnomes and duergar and drow. And I, having forgotten what boots they're talking about, I'm like, "I got the boots." So I go across the lake to go hand this person some boots, knowing damn good and well I'm not going to give them the boots. In fact, I think I'm wearing them. Anyway, I do some shit, find a room full of hellboars, Astarion dies horrifically because I found said room when walking around as only him and everybody else was halfway across the map, reload about 10 mins, find Nere.

I have explosives, because I found...windmill gnome guy's backpack. Get Nere out. Kill him with the help of the rebellion duergar. And I know I'm supposed to take his head for some reason, because the guide I had to use to show me where the fuck Nere was said I needed it. ...Only I had no prompt to take his head or nothing.

So, in my INFINITE WISDOM, I pick up his corpse. All 100+ lbs of it. Saan is encumbered. I gotta walk everywhere. But I need this man's head and I ain't walking all the way back here to get it once I figure out how to take it.

Further Googling reveals that I was supposed to have killed the duergar at the beach, so I long rest with Nere's corpse, teleport to the beach, drop Nere's corpse at my feet, kill those guys, pick his corpse back up, teleport to the myconids, tell them the news, guy wants Nere's head, I plop Nere's corpse back on the ground, and NOW I can take his head. Which I give to the Soverign and, yay, I did it!

...And now his headless corpse is just chillin' in their town square. I overachieved. Gave them the whole ass drow.

[saanphoenix]

Okay, so... I never saw anyone do what you gotta do if Gale dies. So, I was like, "Oh, okay. This here letter says to go near his body before fucking with it. Alright, where's his body?"

Way the fuck behind me in the burning rubble of the burning inn, because, apparently, companions just stop moving and keep taking damage when you enter a cutscene that's all about, "Egads! Duke Whatever has been kidnapped by drow and goblins!"

So, I go over there and I get The Instructions. And I'm like, "...Gale, sweetie, I have ADHD. Why would you do this to me?" But I parrot The Instructions back and set to doing it. And I wish I'd had a camera to record the face I made where I realized this nerd wanted me to play notes that spelt "dead." Like. Bruh. Gale.

So I get the Scroll and I gotta run back into a burning building to get Gale. But I can't reach him because fire and necrotic. So I lob a water barrel at his smoke and I figuratively hear that anime teleport noise as his corpse fucking shoots across the room somewhere else.

...So I run over THERE and:

(Y'see my health? Yeah, that was from me trying to save his dead ass. Anyway.)

He was very happy to be alive again but I was kinda just boring holes into him with my blank stare because GALE. Gale. >:[

[saanphoenix]

Also, like. I don't know if anybody else had this "problem", but Gale is already besties with me and singing my praises while Astarion, though having approved of all but like two decisions in which he can react to, is still like...blankly staring at Saan with 0% desire to add anything to the conversation. Shadowheart is flirting with the idea of being friends but, like...

Astarion, I expected more peanut-gallert commentary from you rather than from Gale. You feeling okay there, bud? Is it because I blow myself up with my own sword and destroyed the only feasible way to climb onto the roof of a building so you could actually shoot the goblin shooting at you with my head? Do I need to 'pspspsps' at you?