#sa ngalan ng pag-ibig

[nanamis-aiko]

Fucking acting here like I'm sad here broken hearted and fucked over.

Well, I'm fucked because life but lol. I am far from heart broken.

Look these sad OPMs are really sad. You can really fee the sadness.

[orangerainforest]

x

[pakunod-a]

Abstained.

A/N: a repost from my old blog (@ayayabaroque) with a few tiny revisions, based on Kung 'Di Rin Lang Ikaw and Sa Ngalan Ng Pag-Ibig, both by December Avenue <3 Warnings: Sumeru Archon Quest spoilers, (Use of Scaramouche's real/given name) horrible English </3

If you aren’t the reason to love, would I stop my heart from getting hurt?

Kunikuzushi was beyond saving, he was impossible to love. His own creator abandoned him, his only friends left him, and being faced with his own immortality, he knows that you’ll leave him too.

You believe that though your flaws of mortality remain, you would do your best to stay by his side for eternity.

But as he drifts of into the company of another, a scholar by the name of Haypasia, you question if he is worth the trouble of loving.

“Scaramouche, it’s been only 2 days after your most recent visit to Haypasia, would it be possible to ask you of one thing?”

He merely scoffs, dismissing the idea of resting, if it meant showing affection to his most devoted follower.

It is a true wonder you haven’t left him yet, despite how inconsiderate he is towards your personal feelings.

If it isn’t you, then it won’t be at all, I won’t hope for us anymore.

The Doctor offered you revenge, wealth, and power, all you had to do was to betray Kunikuzushi.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to put him in a much more dire situation, thus you decline.

Yet do you truly feel this way about him?

“You never truly cared for me, Haypasia has been showing her dedication and devotion to me ever since she made contact with her new-found God.” 

Scaramouche seethes, venom spilling from his mouth

“If I were you, I’d do exactly as Haypasia, in hopes to win over my companion again.”

I’m shivering and I can’t move, my heart can’t force myself to love you anymore.

It proves true that the snow-ridden land of Snezhnaya is not suit to your tastes,

but if it means staying as far away as humanly possible from Scaramouche, you’d go through whatever length to ensure his happiness.

For Haypasia's happiness too, yet not yours.

If the frostbite and cold doesn’t take you, then may the fake god abrew in Sumeru take your life.

You once believed that you would take any step toward a brighter future for you and Kunikuzushi, but it seems near impossible to achieve that, if he is in the glory of another.

Do you truly love him now?

If it won’t be us in the end, I’ll stop myself from loving someone else.

“I vow to stay by your side for eternity, let the damned wake, and let the souls who mourn, do so with agony. I will shield you from the world and all it’s cruelty.” —yet you, who makes such sacrilegious promises, only to succumb to sheer cold, and a slight pang of jealousy toward his “first” follower.

If you couldn’t love another, you might as well die with the vows you’ve made to each other.

That way, when he succeeds in entering godhood, he won’t remember you anymore.

But if I don’t remember who we were, who’ll cry in the morn for us?

Before setting foot into Sumeru, you haven’t even heard of Irminsul.

Much less known that Irminsul contains the memories of everyone, which holds little to no regard from Scaramouche, until he caught wind of what recently happened after his downfall.

“They have been pronounced dead. I believe you have no use for them anyway, since Haypasia is your one and only follower, am I correct?”

Il Dottore, 2nd of the Harbingers, announcing your death to the former Harbinger has his mouth agape and speechless.

He descended into madness, believing that it was all his fault, his status, his arrogance, and his vile nature that caused your death.

Shortly after his defeat, he was assigned to carry out a task for Lesser Lord Kusanali and the Traveler.

Enter Irminsul and attempt to find more information on the Descenders of Teyvat. In his subconscious, his new-found information on the erasure of existence from the Traveler has his full attention. Perhaps, if he never met you, if he never tainted his self-image, you could live happily together with him in his next life. With the knowledge of Irminsul, he begins infiltrating its memories in hopes to have his soul reborn into your arms again. I’m letting go, since I can’t move anymore. But would I stop your heart to yearn for another? He succeeded in erasing The Balladeer’s existence of this world, but it was in vain. You couldn’t hang on to the tiny bit of life you have anymore, and withered away from his grasp. In all the years of his life, he has never experienced such grief in his life. His mind, though hazy, tries to cling on to what little memory he has of you in the back of his mind. Kunikuzushi was impressed to say the least, you really did love him, even if he wouldn’t love you anymore. At the cost of the recognition as a God, the price would be his only source of hope and warmth. “Until the end of our time,  until our hearts feel nothing anymore, even if forever ends, I’ll wait for you in the name of love.” - A/N: i wish that i too, can be erased by irminsul. that sucks. Stay safe, keep yourself hydrated, and continue on treading your path in life, with hopes of success. Believe in yourself, and stay positive. <3 -1, Yuan

[ayayabaroque]

Abstained.

Okay. I’ve been reading way too much angst, and I’ve been listening to breakup songs for only God knows how long. CW: Angst, Use of Scara’s real name, Sumeru archon quest spoilers, i want someone to die so one of you has to go. Heavily inspired by Kung ‘Di Rin Lang Ikaw ‘nd Sa Ngalan Ng Pag-ibig and some of the bold sentences are rough translations of the lyrics, since I don’t know the accurate translations.

If you aren’t the reason to love, would I stop my heart from getting hurt?

Kunikuzushi was beyond saving, he was impossible to love. His own creator abandoned him, his only friends left him, and being faced with his own immortality, he knows that you’ll leave him too.

You believe that through your flaws of mortality, you would do you best to stay by his side for eternity.

But as he drifts of into the company of another, a scholar by the name of Haypasia, you question if he is worth the trouble of loving.

“Scaramouche, it’s been only 2 days after your most recent visit to Haypasia, would it be possible to ask of you one thing?”

He merely scoffs, dismissing the idea of resting, if it meant showing affection to his most devoted follower.

It is a true wonder you haven’t left him yet, despite how inconsiderate he is towards your personal feelings.

If it isn’t you, then it won’t be at all, I won’t hope for us anymore.

The Doctor offered you revenge, wealth, and power, all you had to do was to betray Kunikuzushi.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to put him in a much more dire situation, thus you decline.

Yet do you truly feel this way about him?

“You never truly cared for me, Haypasia has been showing her dedication and devotion to me ever since she made contact with her new-found God.” 

Scaramouche seethes, venom spilling from his mouth

“If I were you, I’d do exactly as Haypasia, in hopes to win over my lover again.”

I’m shivering and I can’t move, my heart can’t force myself to love you anymore.

It proves true that the snow-lain land of Snezhnaya is not suit to your tastes,

but if it means staying as far away as humanly possible from Scaramouche, you’d go through whatever length to ensure his happiness.

To that of Haypasia, and not you.

If the frostbite and cold doesn’t take you, then may the fake god abrew in Sumeru take your life.

You once believed that you would take any step toward a brighter future for you and Kunikuzushi, but it seems near impossible to achieve that, if he is in the glory of another.

Do you truly love him now?

If it won’t be us in the end, I’ll stop myself from loving someone else.

“I vow to stay by your side for eternity, let the damned wake, and let the souls who mourn, do so with agony. I will shield you from the world and all it’s cruelty.” —yet you, who makes such sacrilegious promises, only to succumb to sheer cold, and a slight pang of jealousy toward his “first” follower.

If you couldn’t love another, you might as well die with the vows you’ve made to each other.

That way, when he succeeds in entering godhood, he won’t remember you anymore.

But if I don’t remember who we were, who’ll cry in the morn for us?

Before setting foot into Sumeru, you haven’t even heard of Irminsul.

Much less known that Irminsul contains the memories of everyone, which holds little to no regard from Scaramouche, until he caught wind of what recently happened after his downfall.

“[First], pronounced dead. I believe you have no use for them anyway, since Haypasia is your one and only follower, am I correct?”

Il Dottore, 2nd of the Harbingers, announcing your death to the former Harbinger has his mouth agape and speechless.

He believes that it is all his fault, his status, his arrogance, and his vile nature that caused your death.

Shortly after his defeat, he was assigned to carry out a task for Lesser Lord Kusanali and the Traveler.

Enter Irminsul and attempt to find more information on the Descenders of Teyvat. In his subconscious, his new-found information on the erasure of existence from the Traveler has his full attention. Perhaps, if he never met you, if he never tainted his self-image, you could live happily together with him in his next life. With the knowledge of Irminsul, he begins infiltrating its memories in hopes to have his soul reborn into your arms again. I’m letting go, since I can’t move anymore. But would I stop your heart to yearn for another? He succeeded in erasing The Balladeer’s existence of this world, but it was in vain. You couldn’t hang on to the tiny bit of life you have anymore, and withered away from his grasp. In all the years of his life, he has never experienced such grief in his life. His mind though hazy, tries to cling on to what little memory he has of you in the back of his mind. Kunikuzushi was impressed to say the least, you really did love him, even if he wouldn’t love you anymore. At the cost of the recognition as a God, the price would be his only source of hope and warmth. “Until our end of time,  until our hearts feel nothing anymore, even if forever ends, I’ll wait for you, in the name of love.”

ngl i still dont understand how to post on tumblr and the last post i have is march ‘22 ang sarap siguro ng feeling na mahal na mahal ka nya tapos gagawin nya ang lahat para sayo, dwow👍

[upismediacenter]

LITERARY: Sapagkat Mahal Kita

Sapagkat mahal kita, sasamahan kita sa kahit anong paglalakbay basta’t kapiling ka. Marinig lang ang iyong malumanay na paghuni sa aking ngalan, ika’y agaran kong dadayuhin. Susugurin ko ang walang usad na trapiko ng Maynila, tatakbuhin ko ang mga makikitid na eskinita. Kahit pa ako’y paakyatin sa bulubundukin ng Cordillera o kaya pasuungin sa ilalim ng West Philippine Sea, gagawin ko ito makarating lang sa iyong tabi.

Sa tuwing ika’y aking kasama, lagi’t lagi kong hahawakan ang iyong mga kamay upang tayo’y hindi mawalay sa isa’t isa. Balewala sa akin ang init at lagkit dahil ang hubog ng iyong palad at higpit ng iyong kapit ang siyang bumubuo sa hugis ng aking kamay. Hindi kita papakawalan kahit itulak-tulak tayo ng kapulisan.

Mga gamit mo ay kusang-loob na bibitbitin, balikat ay iaalay bilang sandalan upang kahit saglit ika’y makapagpahinga. Anumang bigat ay kaya kong akuin, kasimbigat man ng presyo ng mga bilihin, sapagkat nasubukan ko nang buhatin ang mundo sa mga panahong ika’y kapiling sa aking bisig.

Haharapin ko nang buong tapang ang iyong mga magulang at ipagtatanggol ang ating pag-iibigan. Likas sa kanilang pagmamahalan ang tamis ng pag-ibig kaya’t mauunawaan nila kapag aking sasabihing walang pinag-iba ang ating pag-iibigan. Tulad nila, ikaw ang aking pahinga, ikaw ang nagbibigay kulay sa aking mundo, at ikaw ang iibigin habambuhay kahit… hindi sapat—kahit hindi ito tanggap ng lipunan.

Iilan lamang ito sa aking mga gagawin para maiparamdam sa iyo ang aking pagmamahal.

Sapagkat mahal kita, sasama ako sa pag-alon ng pulang dagat upang makamit ang pagbabagong nais matamasa. Titiisin ang tirik ng araw, ako’y magmamartsa sa mga kalye ng EDSA at Mendiola.

Hahawakan ko at itataas ang aking panawagan. Katabi at kapiling ang malawakang hanay ng masa, iba’t iba ang isinisigaw ngunit iisa ang patutunguhan. Malinaw na ang nais ay kalayaan.

Ang kalasag ng kaalaman at ang armas na aking mga salita ay bibitbitin. At kung kakailanganin, handa akong iaalay ang aking buhay tulad lamang ng mga estudyanteng nauna sa akin.

Haharapin ko ang mga nagpapahirap sa ating bayan at ipagtatanggol ko ang bawat isang tumitindig at lumalaban. Ipaglalaban kita at ang bayan para makamit ang lipunang lahat tayo’y pantay-pantay.

Gagawin ko itong lahat dahil ang alam kong kapalit ay ang mahalin ka nang malaya

Ika nga nila, ang unang kulay ng bahaghari ay pula.

[cowboiibebop]

wrote this tune way back 2019 and it has since been half-completed not until today. A harana song titled “O, Hirang”

Sa bawat pagpintig ng puso

Oras ay humihinto

Nadarama ko’y ‘di nagbibiro

Nais kong malaman mo

Ang pag-ibig ko’y sa iyo lamang

Sulyapan mo man lang, O hirang

Nang daigdig ko ay ‘di magmaliw

Sambitin ako lang din ang tangi

Sa ‘king pagdarasal

ngalan mo ang laman

Bakit ‘di pagbigyan?

O, Diyos ko, pagbigyan

Kulay ng kalangitan

Nagbabadya ng pag-ulan

Pinto ay buksan

Nang iyong malaman

[heyyyypril]

sa ngalan ng pag-ibig 🎙️

[shunsellon]

Thank you, darling, for your answer to my request. 😘😘😘😘

Now, I wish some Maruren-7

Shundan-15 and Jesse/Zenet-35

marucho/ren + 7 — sa ngalan ng pag-ibig by december avenue

It’s been days since Marucho last saw Ren. Marucho’s nights are less than fruitful; he spends most of them awake in bed, and his sleep uneasy. When the day’s war efforts are done, it’s Ren’s betrayal that plays over and over again in his head. That Ren is not the one I befriended, Marucho thinks during yet another sleepless night. He lied to me, yes, but he’s also lying to himself. Ren’s also become a constant in his dreams. Sometimes Marucho dreams of the days they spent together, but more often than not he’s plagued by scenarios of them on opposite sides of the battlefield. And even in his dreams, Marucho can't find it in himself to let go of Ren.

dan/shun + 15 — bad blood by taylor swift

Dan was back. Dan was back, and Shun could already feel the migraine he’s bound to have. “Look, I’ve come back to help—” “Help,” Shun repeated, his voice deadpan as he stared down his friend. “You left. You left, after leaving Interspace in a worse state than it was. After nearly killing Anubias, the audience. Leaving without so much as an explanation, not bothering to honor the time we set.” Shun unrelentingly crowded into Dan’s space. “We waited for you. I waited for you. But you left, and you’re not allowed to come back like you’re able to fix everything.”

zenet/jesse + 35 — klwkn by music hero

Zenet can count on one hand the number of times she’s seen the skies. With most of Gundalia’s population living underground, it’s no wonder that only a few are given the opportunity to go above the surface, to see the stars and the satellites that revolve around their planet. Neathia, however… “I don’t think Neathia’s skies can be beaten, darling,” said Jesse from his place next to Zenet. They were laying on the ground with their eyes on the galaxies visible above. The stars and the Neathian moon shone in the sky, and there was nothing the two Gundalians could do but be enthralled by the sight. “And it’s the witness to our love.”

send me a ship/character + a number for a drabble based off of my spotify wrapped no more, please!

[elnotfound]

Sa iyo luv,

Minsan ko nang naipangako sa aking sarili na hindi na muli ako magsusulat dito sa oras na ako'y magmahal muli dahil pakiwari ko'y mayroong malubhang sumpa rito, pero heto ako ngayo'y nginuya't kinain lahat nang aking sinabi at ngayo'y nasa ilalim na naman ng isang perpektong mahika ng iyong pag-ibig na hindi ko kailanman ninais pang puksain dahil may pambihirang pakiramdam ang dulot nito.

Nagsusulat ako ngayon dahil nais ko lamang sabihin sa iyo na minamahal kita sa pang-araw-araw, sa bawat paghinga ko, sa bawat pagdilat at pagpikit ng aking mga mata, sa tuwing ibinubulalas ang ngalan mo, sa bawat guni-guning nailalarawan ka ng aking isipan at higit sa lahat, mahal kita sa hindi ko mawaring dahilan na tanging puso at isipan ko lamang ang nakaaalam kung paano ko ito biglang naramdaman sa iyo.

Mahal kita at minamahal pa, sapat na siguro 'yon upang hindi ka na mangamba pa? Hindi bale, patutunayan at ipararamdam ko 'yan sa araw-araw na ako'y mayroong pagkakataon upang ang iyong pagtatanong, pag-iisip, pagtataka at pagkatakot ay unti-unting maglaho. Mahal kita, mahal na mahal.

[vineze05]

Ikalabing Isang Pahina (Pag ibig sa Ulan)

Bawat salita sa aking tula, ngalan mo ang hinahayag. Bawat pintig at ritmo ng aking puso walang tigil sa pagbigkas, ng natatanging damdaming hindi magwawakas.

Ikaw ang musika na palaging naririnig sa aking kaisipan. Walang ibang nais kundi mayakap ka at mahagkan. Sa tuwi tuwina nagbibigay sigla. Sa kahit anong dilim ng aking paligid ilaw kang tanglaw sa aking daan.

Payaba ko ika, pag ibig ko'y pang walang hanggan. Kahit anong mangyari, hindi pagsasawaan. Batid ko, sa una palang na ika'y tanging nakalaan, para aking tabi, makapiling magpasawalang hanggan.

[archivesof1995]

“leonora kong sinta, ikaw ang una at huli kong pag-ibig habang buhay na.”

harana na aking isinulat, sa’yo aking leonora, lamang inialay. sumulat ako ng isang daan na tula patungkol sa pag-irog ko sa aking sinisinta. halimuyak mo ay aking inihalintulad sa isang mapulang rosas tulad ng iyong mga labi kapag nakangiti.

“ako na umiibig sa iyo leonora ay nangako na ikaw lamang ang mamahalin ko sa aking kasalukuyang buhay at sa mga susunod pa.”

nangako ako na kailanman ay hindi bibitawan ang iyong kamay kahit na tadhana ay paglaruan tayong dalawa ngunit aking leonora, bakit lumuwag ang iyong hawak sa akin at nais na lamang kumawala sa aking mga bisig na sa iyo’y nakayakap?

“ang dating tamis ng pagsasama nating dalawa, bakit tila pumapakla na? dating pangako na hanggang dulo na tayong dalawa ay pinutol ko na.”

dalawa tayong naglalakad sa daan papuntang ating mga pangarap ngunit iniwan mo na akong mag-isa, aking leonora. ako’y napapaisip kong akin pa kayang masisilayan ang ngiti mong napaka ganda o kaya ay maganda mong tinig ay maririnig pa ba?

“maaaring ito na ang desisyon ng tadhana—tatahakin ko na lang ang daan ng mag-isa, kahit wala ka na.”

isa na lamang ang aking kahilingan aking sinta; kung nasaan ka man, nawa ay masaya ka na kahit na hindi na tayo magsasama pa. aking panalangin ay mag-iingat ka, leonora kong sinta.

“hindi man tayong dalawa ang siyang huli, liham ko man ay matatapos na—pag-ibig ko’y habang buhay na. iyong ngalan ay nakatatak na sa aking kaluluwa at babaunin ang ating alaala hanggang sa aking huling hininga.”

paalam, leonora na aking sinisinta.

[benefits1986]

month-end pasavogue

June 2024 is officially a month of wins. Not bad for a 12-year wait!

I ended June with an alignment with my second dad after a series of adulting and "inner child" errands. Akala ko patapos na talaga ang June, pero, humataw tayo sa June 30. Hindi ko pa rin ma-grasp 'yung feeling na 'to since 'di pa rin naman ako masaya, pero happy to share na I'm not that sad anymore. Hindi na rin matinde ang hagupit ng Juno spiral szn which is weird and wonderful.

The best way to encapsulate June 2024: THANKFUL AND GRACEFUL AND GRIT IS BACK OFFICIALLY. Side note: Drip of the day is my ultimate pakak sa book ko na vibe. Pink Floyd oversized shirt. Long linen white asymmetrical skirt. Mother Dragon-Baby Dragon platform kicks. Reverse cap - Taylor Swift- Reputation. Blue mid socks. Garapata tote. Circle-ish glasses because lumalabo na po ang ating paningin for realzzz. Very tomboy tayo pero naka skirt. LELS. Siguro, tama nga tatay kong pakitong-kitong. Okay lang naman umalis ng birthday week ko at lumaboy outside Manila. Pero, ako kasi, alam niya na si takas girl ako. Takas because my solo travels are usually spent watching sunrise and crying because I miss my mom. Sabi ko kasi, baka naman Pulag sea of clouds will cure it. Pulag na 'yun e. Baka naman, Siargao super early surf na saktong init lang will allow me to coast through life better. Baka naman, Sagada brew and the foggy morning will make me breathe deeper, and more intentionally. Baka naman, KL food trip na umaatikabo will enable me to taste a different flavor pampa-move on. Baka naman, Liwa-liw 10K morning walks with boxing session na umaatikabo would take me to a better place. Baka lang din ang advance June trip sa La Union kung saan may pa-seaglass hunting so early in the morning after sobrang daming alak-alak-an (LOL) ganaps will make me see life is worth living. CHOOOZZ. In fairness naman sa lahat ng nabanggit, legit core memories sila. As in. Pero, iba e. Kasi, 'yung pull ng lungkot ko sa mga trips ko na 'yan, out of this world. People usually tell me that I have epic June trips; but, deep inside, I feel like wala lang lahat ng adventures and misadventures na 'yan. It's but another shithole day, month, and year.

Sabi nga ng second dad ko, having a solid support group that I actually permit to help me kahit ayoko is something I should embrace. Pasavogue. Looking back, I thank all those who stayed even when it meant coping with my kashitan 1000000 during Juno szn. And that, life is better when there's balance in all aspects. Hindi lang sa work, pati sa life.

Syempre, sabi ko, for boomers, mas madali kasi ika nga ni Maslow, 'yung generation ng boomers, more of building the foundation of the needs. Millennials naman and even Gen Zs, rektang belonginess saka actualization levels na, in general. Hindi na kami 'yung generation na super igib or hakot-panggatong levels. Hindi rin kami 'yung generation na luluwas sa Maynila para makipagsapalaran sa ngalan ng mas maalwang buhay. Kahit middle class na lower stratus, may basics na e. Tapos, 'yung generation naman, masyadong maraming paths na puwedeng i-take. Too many options lead to weirder options and weirder paths and detours. LOL. Kasalanan ng seat sale 'to. CHZ.

Pero, 'di ibig sabihin na dahil sa sobrang daming existentialishitms, e wala ng pag-asa ang generation na masasabi kong in between the legit digital and analog world. Totoo, being part of a small and smaller circle na alam mong safe ka, lagi't lagi ang pananggalang mo sa lahat ng uri ng kabobohan mo at ng mundo mo. Lesson learned the hard, harder, and the hardest ways ako riyan. So, present na naman ako sa Row 5. LOL. Saka, talagang iba-iba ang definition ng success pero what matters is stay on your ground, your lane. Kahit na it means that you're not living by the standards of a typical millennial's road to 40. For me lang naman 'yun a.

Iniisip ko ba 'yung Year 40 ko? Yes and no. Siguro kasi andito na ako sa point (finally) na kung ano mang mga decisions ko, tanong ko lagi: Will I get closer to my life na outside Manila? Will I get better chances of paying the bills AND spending time with those who matter most? Will I be able to learn more? Will I be able to ride the wave of AI in the next 5 years all for the greater good, ganern? EMS. Hahaha.

Year 38 has not been easy. Sobrang hassle ng mga ganaps, however, I won't have any other way because METAL po talaga tayo. Ke may halong kemikal o wala. LOL. But, masasabi kong dahil nga sa daming kaguluhan, napunta ako sa isang super early morning like this one and nasabi ko sa sarili kong: Deserve ko ng mga bagay na YES ang sagot sa mga tanong ko sa taas. 'Yun lang talaga.

'Di man ako natuloy sa Japan because baka doon na lang talaga ako pumunta sa "Forbidden Forest" because ang lala ng spiral ko nung flight week na 'yan. Hahahaha. Shemay. Kahihiyan sa mga travel buddies kong nasa airport na tapos inaantay pa rin akong mag-last minute habol. Bayad na lahat ng accoms sa Tokyo. LOL. Pero, even that Japan trip is not enough to pull me outta bed.

And, looking back, I'll forever remember that experience para hindi na ulit ako mapadpad sa ganung shituation. Ako rin naman ang naglagay sa sarili ko sa ganung kalalang spiral e. Walang iba kung 'di ako kasi nga rurok ng kawalaan ko ng grit 'yang naudlot na Japan trip na 'yan. How rurok? Eto 'yung nakita ako ng tatay kong nasa ultimate meltdown chapter. Siya na nagluluto. Siya na nagbubukas ng ilaw. Siya na 'yung nagaabot sa akin ng tubig kasi ayoko nga gumalaw, literally AND figuratively. Baka nga kasi, Tokyo is not for me. CHZ. Baka nga, pang-outside Tokyo talaga ako. Pang-Shirakawago talaga. Ganern. Sabi ni dad: O, sayang naman bike trips mo doon, 'nak. Bangon na.

O 'di ba? Ang lala masyado. May shot list na ako e. Hahaha. Pero, again, Tokyo did not happen for me to actually realize that I have to go for peace of mind amidst the chaos that I chose. 'Yun lang talaga.

And, ayun na nga. Andito na tayo sa end ng H1. Kagabi, I got not 1 but 2 Harry Potter Lego sets. HAHAHAHAHA. Rurok naman ito ng 'di ko man natuloy ang epic Tokyo trip, taccaaaa, 'yung inner children ko naman, sobrang galak. Palakpak tenga. 'Yung 2 dream sets ko ng Lego, available sa suking Lego store and sa Rustan's. Thanks so much to me, myself, and I na sobrang lala ng spiral before Juno szn.

Backstory neto, simple lang. I love LEGO. As in. Everything is awesome. Ganern. Tapos, tawang-tawa kapatid ko saka tatay ko kasi nga, bakit daw kaya ko namang bumili ng Lego pero ayaw ko. Me: Kasi mahal masyado. 'Di tayo mayaman. Hahaha. Then, 'yung pangangay ng kapatid ko, mahilig na rin sa Lego ngayon. Gusto raw maging architect. LOL. Bonding namin mga Lego sets niya pero syempre, ako as a legit Batang 90s, sabi ko, ano ba 'yan? Bakit parang ang constricting naman sa free play ng Lego sets ngayon? LOL. Hala, sige. Ipilit natin sa Gen Alpha ang millennial boomer bombs ano po.

Sabi ko sa kapatid ko sa bawat hirit niya ng pagbili ko ng Lego para sa panganay niya: Huy. Ako nga walang nabili ni isang Lego sa store e. Regalo lang din sa akin 'yung humble Lego set ko since my toddler years. Kaya, 'wag ako. Bibilihan ko 'yang anak mo, 'pag meron na akong Lego for my inner children. And so... ayun na nga. Dahil sa panganay ng kapatid ko, napunta na tayo sa Lego store. And then poof. Blag. Ack. Nag-hello sa akin ang umaatikabong set ng isa sa mga pivotal scenes sa Harry Potter --Gringgots Bank. Earlier that day, 'yung sales team ng Lego branch na 'to sa suki nating Town e nagsabing 'yung Expecto Patronum set, out of stock na. Kaya nagpunta akong Rustan's para hanapin if meron pa sila doon. Short walk lang naman. 'Yung kilig ko, jusq dhzai. Oh my. Last piece. Saka syempre, ayaw natin ng reseller price. Sabi ko kay Ritz ('yung store assistant), 'wag niya na akong i-upsell kasi saktuhan lang ang budget ko. Tawang-tawa siya kasi may isa akong nakitang set na hindi Harry Potter pero shared favorite namin ng kapatid ko na Disney character. Hindi Disney princess 'to.

So, ayun. Dinner with dad and my brother to cover very important and urgent matters na 'pag may nalaman akong alingangas, pipitpitin ko talaga at paguumpog ulo nilang mag-ama. With sampiga pa. Sabi ng kapatid ko, maka-asta raw ako, parang nanay kong dragon. HAHAHAHA. Then, syempre, bilang bunsong manipulative, ni-joke ako na: O, nakabili ka ng Expecto Patronum. Bilhan mo na rin pamangkin mo. Hahahaha. Tacccaaa.

So, ayun. Punta kaming Lego store ulit tapos nag-hello nga 'yung Gringgots. Pinapahanap ko kasi ito sa HK and SG sa tulong ng ating mga tagapagbantay expat friends. LELS. E, waw. Andun lang pala all along. CHZ. Again, hindi siya sa presyo lang a. Sobrang tagal kong inantay 'tong moment na 'to as a fan girl of Harry Potter since 13 years old. From those days na hiram-hiram ako sa library ng bagong books kasi wala talaga akong pambili kahit mag-ipon pa ako sa baon ko or whatever. To the point na 'yung mismong masungit na librarian, gumagawa ng paraan na ako ang unang pipirma sa library card kasi favorite niya akong taga-borrow ng Harry Potter books. HAHAHAHA. Alam mo 'yung feeling ng fresh page tapos 'yung amoy ng new book? 'Yun talaga habol ko e.

Then, ayun. 14 going 40 seems to be on track. LOL. Syempre, 'yung pamangkin ko, McLaren ang nakuha. HAHAHAHA. Tapos may 294 points pang baon. Sabi ko sa kapatid ko, 'yung 294 points na ang pamasko nung anak niya from me. Wala na. Sarado na ang tindahan. HAHAHAHA. Sabi pa niya: Wow. Sana all nakakabili ng Lego just like that. Me: Ulol. Anak ka kasi ng anak. Hahahahaha. BOOGSH. Case fucking closed.

Sa moment na 'to narealize ko na sobrang layo talaga ng belief systems namin ng kapatid ko. SINK ako - Single Income, No Kids. Siya naman, legit na pangarap maging padre de familia ordinaryo. HAHAHAHA. Pero, 'di ibig sabihin nun e, one is better than the other. Sabi pa niya: Naku, need mong may pamanahan ng mga Lego mo, ate. Me: Andyan naman si GC (anak niya) sa tamang panahon e. Saka gusto mo bang 'wag ko na lang bilhin 'yang Lego na 'yan ha? Puwede namang hindi.

Ayun. Ended June with a boogsh na akala ko e SG or HK ko pa matutunton. LOL. Hahahaha. Nasa Pinas lang pala. Baka need ko lang talagang piliin lagi ang Pinas. Abangan! PS: LF ka-tag team bumuo ng Lego. 'Yung 'di maarte. 'Yung gusto ng walang tulugan. Ayoko ng palautos saka mainit ang ulo. Slide a DM and your letter of intent. CHZ. Plus, pros and cons bakit ikaw. Paki lagay na rin mga kahinaan at kabobohan mong taglay para wala na akong masyadong probing q's. 'Yung may moral compass pero may kagaguhang taglay. Bonus points sa langit 'pag pumupulot ng poops at nagpupunas ng wiwi ng mga aso with feelings. K. TNX. LATERS.

[nahahalina]

Traydor ang pag-ibig.

Paano kung hindi naman pala talaga ako ang ninanais ng puso mo? Paano kung kaya lang ako nasa buhay mo dahil hindi mo nakuha ang dilag na tunay mong gusto?

Kaya lang ba ako ang nasa tabi mo dahil no’ng mga panahon na sumugal ka, hindi ka nanalo?

Kaya lang ba ako nandito para maging panakip butas mo?

Dahil sa dinami-rami ng pangalan na maaaring makilala ng puso mo, ang ngalan ng babaeng hindi naging sa’yo ang siya pa ring sinisigaw nito.

Sa mga salitang binigkas ng mga labi mo, alin doon ang mga sinambit mong walang bakas ng alaala ng nakaraan mo? Alin sa mga mabubulaklak na salita ang totoong para sa akin at hindi para sa pag-ibig na pinalaya at napako?

Hanggang kailan mo isisigaw ang pangalan ng taong hindi ako?

Traydor ang pag-ibig at ikaw ang iniibig ko.

[riszellira]

Reflection: Fidelity and Purity

One of the favorite ministries that I do as a priest is to celebrate wedding Masses, that is, to solemnize marriages. Marriage is a sacrament that is unique because the ministers of the sacrament are none other than the bride and the bridegroom. The priest is there as the primary witness to the couple’s exchange of vows, which is the most important part of the sacrament.

One of the most touching parts of the marriage rite is the exchange of rings. After saying the name of the spouse, the bride and the groom take turns to say the following words: “Wear this ring as a sign of my love and loyalty. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” In the Filipino rite, the words are much more solemn: “Kailanma’y hindi kita pagtataksilan. Isuot mo at pakaingatan ang singsing na ito na siyang sangla ng aking pag-ibig at katapatan. Sa ngalan ng Ama, at ng Anak, at ng Espiritu Santo” (“I will never betray you. Wear and take good care of this ring, which is the pledge of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”)

Marriage is not only about love. It is also about fidelity. This is affirmed by the words of Jesus in today’s Gospel when He speaks about the sixth commandment, “You shall not commit adultery.” This commandment primarily teaches about fidelity to one’s spouse as what is indeed expected in entering the marriage covenant. Jesus, as He does with the other teachings in the Sermon on the Mount, moves beyond the letter of the law. Here, He teaches the disciples the nuances of the fidelity espoused by the commandment: the gravity of lust, the great value of purity and integrity, and the sanctity of marriage—lessons that our present world should learn.

~Fr. Joel Camaya, SDB

Are you faithful to the vows that you have made in life? Do you nurture purity of word, thought, and deed?

Lord, make me single-hearted that I may see You. Amen.

Prayer

… for a deep and profound respect for life, especially for the unborn.

… for the strength and healing of the sick.

… for the healing and peace of all families.

Finally, we pray for one another, for those who have asked our prayers and for those who need our prayers the most.

GOD BLESS!

[ged117-m3-final-project]

Itanong mo Sa Bituin

Isang gabi'y manungaw ka. Sa bunton ng panganorin ay tanawin ang ulila't naglalamay na bituin; Sa bitui'y itanong mo ang ngalan ng aking giliw at kung siya'y magtatapat, ngalan mo ang sasabihin.

Ang bitui'y kapatid mo. Kung siya ma'y nasa langit, ikaw'y ditong nasa lupa't bituin ka ng pag-ibig; dahil diya'y itanong mo sa bituin mong kapatid kundi ikaw ang dalagang minamahal ko nang labis.

Itanong mo sa bitui't bituin ang nakakita nang ako ay umagahin sa piling ng mga dusa; minagdamag ang palad ko sa pagtawag ng Amada, ngunit ikaw na tinawag, lumayo na't nagtago pa. Paksa: Ang paksa ng tula ay tungkol sa pag-asa at pag-ibig na naglalakbay sa pagitan ng langit at lupa, at ang tanong sa mga bituin bilang simbolo ng hinanap na pagmamahal. Mensahe: Ang tula ay nagpapahayag ng damdamin ng pag-asa at pag-ibig na patuloy na naghahanap at umaasa sa pagbabalik ng minamahal. Ipinapakita nito ang pangarap ng isang pusong umiibig na tanungin ang mga bituin upang malaman ang katotohanan at makamtan ang kasiyahan sa pag-ibig. Sa pamamagitan ng pagtanong sa mga bituin, ang tula ay nagbibigay-diin sa kahalagahan ng pag-asa at pagtitiwala sa pag-ibig, kahit na nasa gitna ng paghihirap at pangungulila.

[ronalarcio]

Itanong Mo Sa Bituin

Isang gabi’y manungaw ka. Sa bunton ng panganorin ay tanawin ang ulila’t naglalamay na bituin; Sa bitui’y itanong mo ang ngalan ng aking giliw at kung siya’y magtatapat, ngalan mo ang sasabihin. Ang bitui’y kapatid mo. Kung siya ma’y nasa langit, Ikaw’y ditong nasa lupa’t bituin ka ng pag-ibig; dahil diya’y itanong mo sa bituin mong kapatid kundi ikaw ang dalagang minamahal ko nang labis. Itanong mo sa bitui’t bituin ang nakakita Nang ako ay umagahin sa piling ng mga dusa; minagdamag ang palad ko sa pagtawag ng Amada, ngunit ikaw na tinawag, lumayo na’t nagtago pa.

Subject of the Poem: "Itanong mo sa bituin" (Ask the Stars) explores the theme of seeking guidance and wisdom from the cosmos, particularly from the stars. Message of the Poem: Jose Corazon De Jesus' encourages readers to look to the heavens for answers and enlightenment. The theme given is one of reflection and introspection. The poet proposes that in times of ambiguity or confusion, we can look to the grandeur of the universe for clarity and guidance. By metaphorically encouraging readers to "ask the stars," De Jesus fosters a sense of awe and inquiry about the mysteries of existence. Furthermore, the poem may convey a message of connectivity, implying that despite our personal hardships, we are all part of a broader cosmic order. Overall, "Itanong mo sa bituin" sends a message of comfort and inspiration, urging us to seek guidance and significance in the beauty and majesty of the universe.