#s: jasonbankscomedy on ig

[valcalico]

Hermes: Can I go over to Apollo’s?

Maia: Sure, but that’s a dangerous neighbourhood. So remember: if anyone offers you drugs, say-

Hermes: “I am down, how much for crack?”

Maia: No! No, you are not down.

Hermes: “I am not down for any of your crack.”

Maia: Yes. And if a stranger asks you to get in his van, you say-

Hermes: “I’m on my way!”

Maia, glaring: You say “Stranger Danger”

Hermes: Yes, that’s what I meant.

Maia: What if someone comes to you and says, “Hey, I can’t find my dog, can you come help me look for him?” What do you say?

Hermes: Ok, this is easy. You help him find that dog.

Maia: No!

Hermes: Right, right, fuck that dog.

Maia, taking a deep breath: And what if someone offers you candy?

Hermes:

Hermes, shrugging: I’ll take my shirt off for a snickers-