#s: i guess the college app stuff is getting to me

[dykeomania]

Mia please I need advice on how to build a roster or even start going on dates w other women in the first place like I swear I’m not a loser I just don’t know where to start. For context I’m a femme lesbian who likes butches/mascs ….any advice will be appreciated thank u kindly ……

okay i am so bad at answering asks but i'm gonna try to give you a rundown and tell you some stuff based off of my experience

so i'm like pretty feminine presenting i guess (i dress "comfortably," tomboyish, idk), would not say i lean strictly masculine in terms of how i present myself. i keep my options pretty open. uhhh, i'm american, so i use like. dating apps in america. i'm 20. waves my hands. yktv ok just some context.

dating apps are fun. get into dating apps. i like hinge because you can set your location to wherever you want and it's free and that been be super useful if you happen to live in a small town or any place that doesn't have a big lesbo community. pro is that you can set your location wherever you want (set it to mass or anywhere in the upper northeast, bitches are gay as fuck up here -- by like uvm, mount holyoke, downtown boston, or new york, pennsylvania too surprisingly). con is that you can set it to anywhere you want, and that might put you in a long-medium distance situation so be ready for that/mindful of that or just have a car.

i would say that hinge is also good because it learns your taste after a while. so if you only swipe on masculine presenting women, then it'll pick up on that after a while and begin to only show you women who are masculine presenting. pretty cool

going on dates, and flirting with women. im not gonna say too much here bc you said you're not a loser so i think you got it but generally speaking like, when it comes time and you've got a girl in your dms and let's say you're somewhat close, don't hold back. if you catch a vibe, you can be like heyyyy im gonna be in your cityyyy dadadada we should go for coffee. let's link, let's do something. or let them know, and be like we should do something, and let them make the plans. keep them held to that. and by this point like, definitely make sure that 1) you know this person is real obvi 2) you've exchanged #s /socials with them, or at least after you've agreed to go on a date -- this is a me thing, it makes things feel a little more set in stone for me personally. and do not just settle for casual hookups. some women will hit you up on some like, oh let's just link or makeout or come to my dorm, and if that's your jam, i would say go for it but i would also caution you. however, if you want more than that there are a hundred percent women who are more than willing to like, take you ice skating, take you on a picnic, go for a walk somewhere, etc. don't settle. be patient, but don't settle

and when it comes to dating generally speaking, define your boundaries. say what it is that you want, and honor that, and honor what the other person wants as well. things may change, but it's important to make sure that everyone is on a good playing field before you really delve into things past like, a first date. things can be casual still obviously after the second date, third date, what may have you, however, but again, good comunication is important so just make sure that y'all are on the same page even if it's just casual and you're feeling things out. like, are you exclusive? do you wanna be? if you're gonna kiss at the end of your dates, make sure you both know what that means, if anything at all? etc.

and i guess the last and perhaps the most unhelpful thing is like, just keep your options very broad in terms of where you're looking but i'd also encourage you to be careful. i met some girls on my roster through like, a social media app meant for college students that i downloaded bc of my school (yik yak, dead ass). people pop up from anywhere.

i hope this was helpful. i kinda wanna say more but im trying to find things to say and it is hard because i am so sleepy

[ittypittylitty]

Hello. This is basically my notes app but make it social version so yeah bear with me while I may post the most depressing stuff(it's a possibility).

Growing up I was somewhat a very sad person. The one who always had internal monologues of self criticism, d*ath and a lot of anxiety. I was a straight A student by the way. Which honestly kind of sucked. I used to think(still think) that in order to get love from others I need to perform well in school. I did. I also used to think and was actually told by my close family members that in order to get friends you should be good in studies. And to make matters worse my father had some career problems due to which me and my family had to move a lot in my initial years of childhood. So guess who was the new kid in class who was borderline bullied and was an outcast for the most time in the schools. In such situations I would definitely cry myself to sleep as I missed my old friends and found solace in books,art and music. But that was also pretty restricted as I had to study a lot to be on top of my class(to get friends remember? )

After school I was advised to take up a good degree for college and so for the most part my high school sucked coz I had to work hard 3 times more than what I used to do to get the desired college. But I guess this is all a part of life I guess.

Skipping the college part coz it was covid anyway so more mental health issues guys. Took up the most academically challenging course of this world and oh lord did I suffer. I was terrible. I was sad depressed anxious everything. I failed thrice. Gave my best in my third attempt. Miserably failed. Had the breakdown of my life. Decided to leave it. Well it's been bad. I have been crying constantly. I loved the course structure and even got attached to it,but it wasn't serving me anyway so what's the point of it?

So yeah for me I have always been a sad person. So the phrase "it gets better" somewhat doesn't work for me anymore. Life is hard I get it. But it's been like that for me forever. I am more s*icidal these days. Thinking that what's point of this anyway? It's a bad black void in my head. It's heavy. I am lost. Maybe I am a ghost now just existing for the mere reason of existing. There's love too. I am so much aware about people caring. But for me personally what's the point anyway? I think I will always be a sad person. Maybe life is all about sadness. Maybe there's peace in the afterlife. Maybe the knife looks sweeter,the fan more welcoming and the terrace railing calling in for a loving hug. I hope the suffering ends. This headache..it's ends.

[amberbalcom14]

Holy shoot, @guilty-pleasures21, Thank you! 🤗Been following this trend, & this reblog thread-line of it, for the past day or so on here and was not expecting to suddenly get the mentioned alert ping bout being tagged in this too! ✨😊 and really showing my age with the realization it's been years since i've done one of these to boot. Let's get into this then✨

Last Song: On Spotify, Annpantsu's cover of "I'm Still Standing"

Favorite Color: hmm, kinda tied between purple and green (as this reblog and my blog's main/mobile app view theme shows XD), so guess it depends on the shade of either (prefer either a lighter or darker green than this txt option & typically a darker closer to violet than the purple txt color option - which happens to also be my current hair color!)

Last Book/Fic: Been mostly doing online reading lately, but do still purchase physical versions (recently got a newly opened B&N closer to where i live that's now my new home-store that's a LOT closer than the previous one XD Hubby is already joking bout the 'wallet pain' of him coming home from work to find me with more new books XD) so physical book wise, it would have to be 'The Modern Herbal Dispensary' that i recently got form Barnes & Noble ^^ and online Fic wise, it's hands down @greensagephase/Alondra's Spiderverse 'Nonviolent Communication', full re-read after reading the newest released Chap 22 ^^ (any spiderverse fans, if ya haven't checked NC out yet, i highly recommend it ^^)

Last Movie: Transformers One

Last Show: all 3 Seasons of Marvel's 'What if' on New Years Eve since the tidbit was with my folks for the week and i was resting up from feeling sick a few days prior XD got to Season 3 at the midnight Ball drop, so it worked out pretty well on my end XD

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: hmm, this is a tough one, since it depends what type of food we're talking about. ✨desserts wise, sweet all the way. ✨snacks are mix of sweet and savory (like i prefer sweet for popcorn with kettle corn or caramel corn, but savory for stuff like crackers/pretzels like with white cheddar cheeze-its) ✨main dish wise, mix of savory or spicy, depending on the kind of dish. served in a bowl dishes for example, i lean more a mix of both as a Southerner born and raised growing up with 'southern cold weather comfort food' like Creole dishes jambalaya and red beans & rice, as well as Texas style chili (which growing up got spicier when my dad was the one to make it as us 3 siblings got a higher spice tolerance) Also for main dish wise on the other end is, savory dishes like all day slow cooker pot roasts or shepard's pie ^^ long story short - I'm a foodie, and like little bit of everything to an extent and have tried a wide variety of ethnic style food since it's unfortunately dependent on where i am/local area is mostly tex-mex with some authentic Mexican and Asian (mostly Japanese & Chinese, with one Korean grill place) restaurants in my area (stopped having spicy food during my pregnancy and now unfortunately my spice tolerance has taken a major hit and i have to work it back up to where it was back in College😭like used to be able to eat wasabi by itself and use Sriracha with not much issue)

Relationship: Happily Married 9 years with this yr/2025's Dec being the 10 yr/1st Decade mark ^^ (married wise. been together 13 yrs since Nov 2011 ^^ - and Yes I admittedly love making both my hubby and myself 'feel old' at reminding him we're already a fair bit past the decade mark technically with marriage getting close to the decade mark due to the tidbit being close to turning 10 from being born the following year XD)

Last thing I googled: legitimately full on google searched, (& not counting typing in the name of a site in the search bar to get it pulled up from being half-assed lazy or too tired to recall the actual website's spelling/type out from google being my default/home browser XD) would have to be over the weekend looking up search/location tips for the stripeshell snail from the game Palia to get help finding it to finish one of the Vault of the Waves beach bundle XD (highly recommend Palia as a fun cozy game to play ^^)

Current Obsession: oh, geeze this one is a call out XD. um, depends what you mean by obsession i guess XD. since one of my special interests is musicals (mainly broadway, specially Hamilton, Les Mes, and Wicked ),while my current hyperfixation for musicals is sorta a musical - it's the 'Epic: The Musical' concept album series by Jorge Rivera-Herrans about Homer's “Odyssey" ^^ i have been playing the Ithaca and the Troy saga albums the most for like the past month and a half, mainly the song 'Warrior of the Mind' from the Troy saga and 'The Challenge' from the Ithaca one (i can go on about how it shows the relationship of Odysseus and Penelope as one of my favorite greatest love stories told. i mean the Oddy's old bow to shoot thru the axes challenge to the suitors with the song's line 'Cause I'd rather die, Than grow old without the best of you' ?!✨🥰🤩🤌🏼) Characters/Fandom wise, i will admit that lately it's been a bit hyperfocus with Marvel mostly XD mainly Spiderverse's Miguel, X-men (nearly of the animated series and the OG cinematic verse/Earth-10005 movies line, and a fair bit of the comics verses with some exceptions) Dr. Henry 'Hank' McCoy [I'm well aware of how far off the deep end Earth-616 Krakoa era 'Beast Prime' went off his rocker out of descending into madness post legacy virus arc], MCU/TFATWS James 'Bucky' Barnes, & MCU/Comics Dr. Stephan Strange ^^

I look forward to telling you: You all have been traumatized enough this decade, you deserve a hug and happiness may the rest of this decade be far better for you than the first half.

Tags: @bluesidez, @lyrate-lifeform-approximation, @voxxgrimly, @thespider-witch, @theorphicangel

10 people I’d like to get to know better

10 people I’d like to get to know better

Since I had two separate tags in this, @spaceyjessa and @laughhardrunfastbekindsblog I decided I would make a separate post.

Last song:  with lyrics: Beautiful Boy by The Last Dinner Party (I found out about this band like two weeks ago and now I’m going through a phase I’m obsessed)

Without lyrics: I am ready by Kevin Kiner & Sean Kiner: from the bad batch season three soundtrack. Been listening to it a lot lately, as it feels pretty prevalent to the time of my life that I’m at

Favourite color: light pinks and baby blues

Last book/fic: the last book I finished was defy the storm, by Tessa Gratton (I’m getting closer and closer to being caught up on THR)

Fic: Mace Windu fixes the timeline (You should read it, it’s wonderful) 

Last movie: the rise of Skywalker (yes, I love the sequel trilogy and what about it 💅)

Last show: the bad batch... I’m re-watching, again... how predictable 🙄

Sweet/spicy/savory: I have a big sweet tooth, especially when it comes to chocolate

Relationship: single real life, but in love with countless fictional characters inside my head🤩

Last thing I googled: what does the quest cookies and cream protein bar taste like? (look, I have arfid. I can’t just buy new things to try without knowing exactly what I’m getting into first)

Current obsession: Star Wars, duh! Specifically clones and TBB, the Mandalorian and the high republic

I look forward to telling you: that if you’re reading this you’re wonderful

No pressure tags (and I’m sorry if you’re being tagged again)  @clonethirstingisreal @eobe @dystopicjumpsuit @sunshinesdaydream and anyone else who would like to.

[spectrumspace]

I spent all of Virtual PE struggling to download/log in to what they've rebranded as "Animal Jam Classic" because I didn't wanna miss the Halloween event prize and when I finally did it turns out it was the same as a prior year and now I feel. . . tired.

[hintsofhoney]

Freshman Year

Paring(s): RA!Dean Winchester x M!Student!Reader

Summary: Fucking your RA (and your roommates older brother) wasn't exactly what you had planned for your first semester of college.

Square(s) Filled: Rimming for @spnkinkbingo, Dick Pic for @anyfandomkinkbingo, College AU for @spnaubingo​

Tags: 18+, anal sex, anal fingering, sexting, dirty talk, light dom/sub dynamics, rimming, sex in the dorms

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: Wrote this for @superfanficnatural a few months ago, so I figured it was time to post it! GIF is mine. Hope you guys enjoy!

You can also read me on Ao3!

DEAN WINCHESTER MASTERLIST | SUPERNATURAL MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

“Excuse me, sorry – oh, on your right – left – sorry.” Pushing through the crowded hallway, carrying three cardboard boxes stacked up to your nose seemed like a task in of itself – to think that you actually had to unload all this shit after you got it into your room made you want to drop out of college before you even officially started.

You placed the last three boxes on the floor of your dorm room next to all of your other things: your computer, clothes, and about fifteen plastic tubs of “first year of college essentials” – some of which you knew you wouldn’t be able to live without, however most of it you thought was just crap that you’d either never touch or would lose by the end of the semester. But your mom had insisted on buying it for you anyway, and you weren’t going to argue about free stuff – crap or not. 

You looked around your half of the room, mentally decorating the space while you waited on your roommate to arrive. You hadn’t met him yet – not in person anyway – but he seemed nice enough from the very short conversations you had through the app that your college provided to “get to know your roommate better before moving in with them”. 

“Hey! Y/N?” you heard a voice behind you ask, and you turned around to see him standing in the doorway holding a plastic tub similar to the ones you had brought in earlier. 

“Yeah! Sam, right?” 

He nodded, giving you a small smile before setting the black bin down on his side of the room. He was tall – about 6’4” if you had to guess – which wasn’t that much taller than you were, but he seemed to tower over you nonetheless. He had chestnut hair on the longer side, curling behind his ears and just barely falling in front of his eyes – but enough to where he already had to flick his head about three times since walking into the room to keep his line of vision clear.

“You’ve got a lot of stuff, making me feel like I under-packed,” he commented with a nervous chuckle as he opened up the tub he had brought in.

You laughed awkwardly, glancing over all of your things again, realizing just how much of the floor was covered by them. “What can I say? I like to be prepared,” you shrugged. “Is that the only thing you brought with you or?” you asked, pointing to the tub he had finished unpacking. 

“Oh, no. My brother is bringing a few more boxes up and I’m about to go get the rest of what’s in the trunk. I just wanted to make sure I found the right room first, and didn’t wanna do it with my arms too full in case I had to walk far,” he explained. 

“Yeah, makes sense. You need any help?”

“Nah, I got it. I think one more trip is all I need. Thanks though. I’m gonna go grab them now, um – if a guy with short hair and green eyes walks in here, Zeppelin tee on – that’s my brother. Feel free to ignore him.”

You nodded, chuckling at his instructions, before he disappeared around the doorway. You sighed as you turned back around, your arms folded over your chest as you eyed the many boxes and suitcases you had in front of you. It was going to take forever to unpack it all, but you were eager to get everything set up just the way you wanted it – this was your first year of freedom, really, and you intended to take advantage of that as much as you could, starting with setting up your home base for the next five months. 

You had moved to open a box labeled “desk stuff” when you heard a grunt behind you, followed by the soft thud of boxes hitting the floor. You turned around to see who it was, expecting Sam but getting something much better. He was a little bit shorter than his brother, but not by much, and his light brown hair poked up every which way as he wiped a bead of sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand. Freckles dotted his face and the sleeves of his Zeppelin t-shirt were tight around his biceps as he placed his hands on his hips, breathing heavily in exhaustion. 

“Yeah, the stairs will get you,” you chuckled, absentmindedly roaming your hand through the contents of the box you had opened, but not at all paying attention to what you were pulling out and putting on your desk – your eyes were glued to him. 

He huffed a laugh. “That’s an understatement. Been here three years and I’ll never get used to them.” He walked over to you, holding out his hand. “Dean Winchester. I’m Sam’s brother, and I’ll also be your RA this semester.” 

You shook his hand, your eyes widening at the information that was just presented to you. Your roommate was the RA’s little brother – this semester was either going to be hell or one hell of a party. He chuckled at your expression. “Don’t get too excited, I only let the guys I like get away with all the stuff they shouldn’t be doing,” he winked.

You scoffed, feigning offense. “Are you saying you don’t like me?”

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that your brother is our RA!” you exclaimed. It was almost 10 p.m. and you and Sam were on the tail end of your unpacking – at this point you were ready to call it a night and finish in the morning.

“I didn’t realize it mattered,” he mumbled in response, breaking down an empty cardboard box.

“Uh – what!? Sam, do you realize the shit we can get away with?” You watched as he rolled his eyes before going over to the university-provided dresser, opening it, and pulling out a pair of pajama pants. “Oh my God, you’re a goody-two-shoes, aren’t you? You’re not gonna do anything wrong while you’re here, huh? Not even with your brother not watching?” 

“Look, you can do whatever you want. I won’t rat you out or anything, and no, Dean won’t care. He’d probably encourage it, actually. But I – I just can’t risk anything, y’know? Sure, call me whatever you want – goody-two-shoes, a prude, death of the party, buzzkill, lame – I’ve heard them all. From Dean, mostly. But I’m here to actually better my future, or whatever, so I can’t get involved in anything that might jeopardize that.”

You sighed, nodding in understanding as you climbed into bed, having already changed into your pajamas about an hour ago. “No, yeah, I get it. But you know… it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun here and there, dude.”

Sam chuckled as he copied your actions, crawling into his own bed. “You sound like Dean.”

You shrugged. “Not the worst person to sound like.”

He huffed a laugh. “Actually, one of the worst people you could sound like.”

“You two not get along or something?”

“Yeah, something like that,” he sighed, turning off his bedside lamp, “but, I think we’ve unpacked enough for today.” 

The first two months of college went by quicker than you would have liked them to. Despite Sam being uber focused on school, you did manage to convince him to come out and do the fun things that all the RAs in your dorm had planned – like game nights or movie nights in the downstairs lobby. It was a great way to make friends and get to know who else was living in your building, but for you it was just another excuse to get to talk to Dean. During one of the movie nights, he had pulled you aside to tell you that he did in fact like you, which essentially gave you a free pass to do whatever you wanted – and the whole dorm knew it. Your room was the spot to store all the alcohol and pot that all the other kids were terrified of getting caught with – not that Sam knew that. But what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Just like how he had no idea about how close you and Dean had been getting since that night. 

It started off as texts at first, since the RA had everyone on their floor’s number. Innocent texts – how are you doing? Do you need help studying? Are you guys hungry? – which slowly turned into not-so-innocent texts. What are you wearing? Is Sam there? Send me a picture. Look what you do to me, look at that mess you made. How you guys got from, how’s your first semester going? to, you have no idea how badly I want to fuck that tight little ass of yours – you had no clue. But you definitely weren’t complaining. 

Since you had met him on move-in day, you had been completely taken by him – he filled up every empty space in your mind that wasn’t already taken up by your classes. You couldn’t stop thinking about him – you didn’t want to stop thinking about him. The only thing keeping you from acting on your dirty thoughts was the fear of Sam finding out – not that you two were that close, but you felt weird about it regardless. They don’t even get along, the devil on your shoulder egged on. It’s still his brother, have some decency, the angel argued back. 

It was midnight when Dean’s name popped up at the top of your phone screen as you were scrolling through Instagram in bed one night.

DEAN: Are you up?

You began to type back, before seeing three more dots pop up at the bottom of your screen. You could feel your heart pounding in your ribcage as you waited. You took a deep breath as the image came through – a conscious effort not to moan as Sam was asleep in his bed. You stared at the picture on your phone – Dean’s cock long and hard, his hand wrapped around his shaft as he sat in his bed, the dimly lit room providing a perfect background; a dark contrast to the color of his skin, the pink of his swollen tip. You closed your eyes and took another breath as you formulated a response in your head, but another text came through before you could even begin to think of one.

DEAN: You coming?

DEAN: I know you’re up, I saw you typing.

DEAN: I promise I won’t make you scream too loud… wouldn’t want to get caught.

This asshole. Like you could say no. 

Y/N: Yeah, I’ll be right there.

You quietly made your way out of your bed, tip-toeing over to where you kept your slippers before quickly sliding them on and slowly opening the door. Closing it softly behind you, you let out a sigh of relief, feeling accomplished in the task of not waking up your roommate. You walked down the hall slowly at first, afraid to wake any of the other students who lived in your building, but once you realized that you could barely hear your own footsteps down the carpeted floors you picked up the pace. You were standing at Dean’s door within seconds, swallowing down your nerves as you raised your fist to knock. However, the door swung open before you got the chance to, and Dean quickly pulled you into his room by your bicep before closing the wooden barrier and pushing you up against it. He was holding your wrists above your head as he stared down at you, his tongue darting out between his lips, his face illuminated by the lamp on his desk – the yellowish glow the only source of light in the room.

“You got here fast,” he said, his tone lined with amusement as he looked at you. “Someone’s eager.”

You scanned his face and bare chest, before your eyes darted down to the bulge that was tucked back away in his sweats, suppressing a moan as the picture he had sent you crept back up into your mind. 

“Me? I’m not the one who sent the dick pic,” you replied with a smirk, suddenly realizing how hard your own cock was beneath the confines of your briefs. 

He chuckled. “Touché.” 

He licked his lips one last time before leaning in, and then they were molding with yours, his kisses hungry and needy and rough . You wanted to touch him so badly but he still had your hands pinned against the door, and you were suddenly very aware of the tingling sensation in your fingers as they started to fall asleep. Dean moved away from your mouth, trailing kisses down your jaw line to the pulse point on your neck, where he stopped to suck a bruise into your skin.

“Dean,” you breathed, trying to remind him that people would see it – that they’d ask questions – but he didn’t seem to care.

“I like marking what’s mine,” he husked in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. He released your hands from his grip and you let them fall to his shoulders, wrapping your arms around his neck as his palms came to grip underneath your thighs. He picked you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he carried you to his bed, your lips never separating from his as he set you down on your back. Breaking the kiss, he hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of both your sweats and briefs, pulling them off of you in one swift motion. 

“Right, I’m the eager one,” you teased, receiving a glare in return.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Dean replied with a smirk, kneeling down at the end of the bed and grabbing the underside of your thighs before pushing them upwards, spreading you wide open for him. “Don’t make a fuckin’ sound.” 

He kept his eyes on yours as he lowered his head to your hole, the smug look never leaving his face. Licking a stripe over your entrance, your hands instantly came to tug on his short brown locks as you tried to suppress a groan. Circling his tongue around your puckered hole, you could feel him chuckling against you – he could feel your desperation. You watched him spit, taking a deep breath so as to not make any noise as the pad of his thumb replaced his tongue, his face in full view again as he rose up on his knees. He seemed to tower over you, his thumb circling your asshole as his other hand came to wrap around his cock. You held your legs open for him, holding back whimpers as he slowly pressed into you with his thumb, preparing you for what was to come. 

As he slid his finger into you, you couldn’t help but let out a soft moan – it had been a while since you’d last had sex, and fuck , did it feel painfully good. Dean’s hand left his cock, quickly coming to cover your mouth as he slipped his thumb out of your ass and replaced it with his middle and pointer fingers. He was hovering above you now, his face inches away from yours. 

“Thought I told you to keep quiet?” he whispered, his voice low and raspy. You nodded underneath his hand, your eyes pleading as he pushed his thick digits deeper inside you. “You gonna be good for me, then? You gonna be a good boy and shut the fuck up? ‘Cause if we get caught, we’re both dead.” 

You nodded again, more eagerly this time – his dominance was only making you want him more. You needed him to fuck you. He smirked, huffing through his nostrils in amusement as he moved his hand away from your mouth and back to his cock, pumping it a few times before he slid his fingers out of you with ease. Your breath hitched in anticipation as he lined himself up with your entrance, spitting once, twice, for extra lubrication before pushing himself into you slowly. It took everything you had not to make any noise, the sensation of being filled to the brim one that you hadn’t realized just how much you’d missed. 

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Dean breathed as he bottomed out inside you. He pulled back swiftly, pushing back into you much quicker and harder than before. You almost yelped, and judging by how swiftly his hand came to cover your mouth, he had noticed. 

He shook his head as he continued pounding into you, warning you for a third time about just how dangerous it was to be making sounds like that. You closed your eyes, listening for anything else that could give the two of you away – the bed creaking, the headboard against the wall – anything loud enough, but there seemed to be nothing but Dean’s panting and the soft sound of skin slapping against skin as he continued to fuck you. 

You stared up at him with doe eyes, attempting to telepathically ask him if you could touch yourself, and as if he could understand you, he nodded with a grin on his face. “Yeah, you wanna touch yourself?” 

“Mhm.”

“Go ahead.”

You gripped your cock in your hand as he continued to pound into you, his hand never leaving your mouth, your orgasm building up rapidly. The two of you never broke eye contact as you pumped your shaft in time with his thrusts, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead as he chased his high. You were right on the edge, and as Dean dropped down a little bit, getting closer to you, his breath fanning over your ear, his palm still covering your lips, you couldn’t hold back any longer as he told you to cum. 

Muffled noises came from underneath his hand as you rode out your delirium, and within seconds a string of “fucks” were falling from his lips while you felt him paint your insides white. He collapsed on top of you briefly, rolling off to the side moments later, and you could finally let the air back in your lungs as his hand left your mouth, taking a deep breath. The two of you laid in silence for a minute or so, trying to quietly catch your breaths between stolen glances at one another. Finally, his green eyes met your brown ones, a cocky smirk plastered on his face as he stared at you.

“What?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“How long d’you think we can get away with this for?” 

You huffed in amusement, staring back up at the ceiling. “Your brother’s my roommate and you're an RA. A week if we’re lucky.” 

He chuckled, turning his head to look up at the ceiling, too. “Well, better move the fun to my car, then.”​

[littlepadika]

Calling Home (1) | Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues...

Rating: M -> E in later chapters

Warnings: fem!reader, age gap (legal), praise kink, voice kink, discussion of addiction/PTSD/trauma, no use of y/n, no beta reader, reader is bad at Spanish, Frankie has a sexy voice 😩

Masterlist here

AN: My first fic. Pedro writers have inspired me to finally start writing again 🥺. Concept inspired by the movie RED. I hope you like it ❤️Set after triple frontier.

Chapter One

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time he called was an ordinary Thursday.

“Veterans Affairs, how can I help you?”

You had been working at the VA office for about two weeks. Fresh out of college you felt lucky to have a job in the first place. You went to school to be a writer but your big idea for 'The Next Great American Novel' had yet to present itself. At least here you had access to the most inspiring stories and interesting people. Men and women who had seen more and done more than you probably would in your entire life. You loved talking to clients on the phone. It was weird but something about only being able to hear people’s voices excited you. You would sometimes write little stories in your head about the people you'd talk to, filling in the details that were unknown.

Your desk accessories reflected your love of books and writing. You had your growing collection of books sitting on your desk sandwiched between baby pink bookends. Next to them was a matching desk organizer filled with your favorite sparkly pens and sticky notes. You had decorated the plain cubicle walls with posters of quotes from your favorite books. You also brought your favorite candle from home. Even though you couldn’t light it you still liked to lift it to your nose once and a while and smell it between chapters. When you weren’t on the phone or scanning documents you would read. You finished To Kill A Mockingbird in your first week on the job and were now halfway through Murder on the Orient Express.

You were starting a new chapter when Frankie Morales called the first time.

You picked up the phone on the second ring already mustering your chipper 'customer service' voice. “Veterans affairs.” You stated your name. “How may I help you?”

“H-Hi. My name is Frankie- uh-Francisco Morales." A deep voice answered you. "I’m calling because I have gotten my benefits check yet. It’s been a month. I was hoping you could tell me if it got sent?”

“Okay Mr. Morales." You flipped on the computer. "Let me check. Can you spell your last name for me?”

“M-o-r-a-l-e-s”

“Okay... let's see.” You clicked on his account. You were momentarily distracted by his picture likely taken when he graduated basic if you had to guess based off the uniform. He looked sweet. Sharp nose and strong jaw balanced by kind eyes and a shy smile. You could imagine how age would continue to soften his expression making him even more handsome. The image was a strange juxtaposition to the voice you were hearing on the phone which was much deeper and rougher. His profile said he was special forces. A pilot. The rest of the information was blacked out. Something you were used to seeing on many people's accounts but even his years of service were redacted. He must have been involved in some dangerous stuff, you thought to yourself. The dates that were not redacted were mostly in Latin America. You clicked over to processing requests. “Looks like the check got sent one week ago.” You informed him.

"I'll look again but I haven't seen anything-" It sounded like he was apologizing when clearly it was not his fault.

"No no. It's probably a mistake on our end." You interrupted. With how shitty and outdated the payroll interface was you wouldn't be surprised if there was a mix up. "I’ll go ahead and let payroll know to send another."

"Great. Thanks." He replied sounding relieved. The roughness in his voice gave way to a smooth baritone.

“No problem. I'm sorry for any inconvenience it may have caused. We'll get it sent right away." You hoped he was not relying on this benefit check for anything important. While you could promise you'd fix the problem, the administration was notoriously slow. When he didn't respond you asked, "Is there anything else I can help you with today, Mr. Morales?”

“Uh-no" The roughness back in place. "Thank you." He paused before adding your name onto his thank you which made you smile. People usually never remembered your name.

“Alright. Have a nice day and thank you for your service.” You chirped before hanging up. The smile he put on your face lingered for a few minutes as you returned to your book.

The next time he called was exactly twelve days later.

“Veterans affairs” you answered, your routine greeting cut short as your eyes were still on your book.

“Hi- I’m calling because uh I still haven’t gotten my benefits check. This is Frankie Morales.”

“Oh Mr. Morales.” You recognized his voice even before he even said his name. You quickly shut your book, pushing your hair out of your face. Had you been thinking about him? No! Okay maybe you stared at his picture for a few minutes longer after he hung up. Yes, it was probably very unprofessional but you couldn't fight the curiosity. You were trying to rationalize the contrasting sharpness and softness of his features with his voice. How it all worked together. How one person's voice could change textures and colors so easily. You wondered what kind of things this man might have seen on the job. Most of the veterans you would help day to day did not have so many redacted missions and deployments. You were in the middle of Narcos season one so you immediately thought of drugs or something equally dangerous. After much pondering, you had come to the conclusion that Frankie Morales was both insanely attractive and insanely courageous. “Still no check, huh?”

“Nope.” He sighed the sound making the phone's shitty speaker crackle as you held it to your ear.

“Let me just check that it was approved...“ you found his profile again and scrolled to the status page. “Hmm... it says it was sent out last Friday after we spoke. That’s so weird...”

“Yeah. Really weird.” He echoed your frustration on the other end.

Typical payroll, you thought to yourself as you rolled your eyes. “I'll get another one sent to you right away. I'll see to it myself.” You tucked the phone under your chin and typed out a short email to Mary in payroll letting her know you'd be stopping by her office to explain the situation. You realized he hadn't hung up yet.

“Sorry for the back and forth.” You said, trying to fill the silence.

“It’s not your fault." The earlier irritation gone. "You’ve been really helpful.” His voice sounded warm and reassuring. Less gruff than it was last you spoke. Instead it was that rich baritone that you caught of glimpse of last time.

You feel your face warm at his compliment. It was this annoying reflex you had. Praise always made you blush no matter what context but it was worse when it came from a (you assume) gorgeous stranger.

“And just to verify that your address is correct- you’re on Maple Lane in Miami, Florida?”

“That’s right.” He confirmed.

“Okay. Sent!” You clicked send on the email, which caused the window to close and reveal Frankie’s profile page again. “I was curious-" You spoke before you really made the decision to speak. You didn’t want to overstep but once again your curiosity got the better of you. Honestly, you were just searching for a way to keep him on the phone. The day had been so boring.

“Your profile says you were stationed in Costa Rica.”

“For a bit.” He replied after a moment. He didn’t sound too defensive but there was definitely some tightness in his answer that made you feel bad for asking. Like you were scratching a wound.

“Did you like it? The country I mean.”

“Are you planning a trip?” He sounds a little amused.

“Yeah- well- kind of. It's more a trip in my head right now. I’d like to go there one day. It looks so beautiful.” You sighed closing your eyes trying to imagine the heat on your skin.

“It is." He agrees. "Really humid though.”

“Mm that sounds nice.” You would kill for some warm weather after such a long winter in DC.

“It was too muggy for me at times." He grumbled. "If you do go, stick to the costal areas where it’s more breezy or else you’ll just be sweating the whole time.”

“I don’t mind a little sweat” you shrugged, still thinking of the awful east coast winter you were currently suffering through. The sexual connotation of what you said hit you hard as soon as you heard the statement in its entirety. You felt your face flush again, though the man on the other end would never know.

“I’m learning Spanish!" You announced loudly trying to move the conversation past your awkwardness.

“Wow. Muy impressivo.”

“Si” you replied but after a moment you admit “I don’t really know what you said.”

Frankie laughed loudly on the other end and you couldn’t help but join in, drawing dirty looks from the elderly lady, Donna, working in the cubicle across from you. You ducked your head behind a stack of papers to avoid her glare.

“Fake it till you make it.” He chuckled.

“Maybe you should help me out.” You took on an indigent but still playful tone. “You sound better than duolingo” Your smile widened when he laughed again. His laugh was what you hoped it would be, by all your assumptions from his picture. It was an unencumbered, unburdened, rich sound with only a hit of roughness from the air behind it.

“Tell me you’re not using that dumb app to learn.” he scoffed, saying your name in an almost scolding tone.

“I’m got my thirty day streak today.” You boasted.

“You’ll be a total tourist if you go by duolingo.”

“But the owl is so cute every time I get something right!” You argued your voice taking on a more childish cadence.

“That’s how they trap you, silly girl.” He teased right back. Usually such a condescending nickname would piss you off but something about the affection behind him using it made you feel very differently. You felt warm like you were proud to be silly as long as it made him laugh.

“Then you saved me just in time, Mr. Morales.” You bit your lip. His scoffing and laughter died down on the other end.

“Frankie” He corrects you.

“Frankie…” You repeated it, smiling at how well the nick name suited the voice over the phone. Honest, sincere, and not pretentious at all. Way better than the pompous guys you know with equally stuffy names like “Edward” and “Christopher.”

“So what do you want to know?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts. “Dime”

You started asking him questions in Spanish to the best of your ability. Granted they weren't particularly probing questions. What is your name? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite animal? What's your favorite book? I am reading Gone Girl. He answered them all with patience and amusement, occasionally interrupting you to correct your pronunciation or explain what a word meant. Every time you’d repeat the word back correctly he would say something like “good” or “there you go” or “you got it”. You hated to admit that his kind words and his praise was doing something to you. You didn't even realize you were clenching your legs together unconsciously, almost in anticipation of his next correction or next answer. His low voice so sweet and encouraging against your ear, more tangible when he was speaking Spanish. You just wanted to hear more of it. Would it be this sweet in other situations? Would it get huskier or rougher? If you closed your eyes it was like he was sitting right next to you. It would be all too easy to slip into that daydream and escape the dull office.

Suddenly out of the corner of your drooping eyes you saw a flashing red light on the phone console meaning another caller was waiting.

“Shoot- i’m sorry, Frankie- I have to take this call.” You shot forward in your chair, legs uncrossing.

“Of-Of course. I should let you get back to work.” He sounded a little sad or so you hoped. You felt bad for interrupting him after you both were having so much fun. You wanted to say he could wait on hold but he killed that idea when he said, "I have work too. Technically I'm five minutes past my lunch break."

Your pout turned to a smile. He was spending his precious lunch break with you? Get a grip! you snapped at yourself.

“You’re welcome to call again if you want.” You threw out the offer in a small voice, scared you would be rejected. You peered over the cubicle wall to see if you were still being glared at. Thankfully Donna was away from her desk. Probably out for a smoke. “It’s really boring here and usually no one calls.”

“Maybe I will.” He replied and you could hear the smile behind those words. You felt your heart clench weirdly in your chest like it didn't know how to process the sudden spike in emotions.

“Bye, Frankie.” You beamed.

“Bye”

This time the smile on your face lasted for hours. Frankie’s laugh echoed around in your head, taunting you, sending your mind to the gutter. His voice went from grit to molasses on a dime. You wanted to be the one to bring out those sounds. You wanted to hear his voice bend and stretch and strain as you fucked him. What the hell is wrong with me? you screamed internally. You had never been so depraved and with a stranger no less! You clearly needed to get laid fast because this much yearning would not end well.

Frankie got the second VA check a few days later and this time he didn’t even feel bad about ripping it in half. He was already reaching for the phone to call you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: Message to be added 💕 no minors please!

[sleepysnk]

okay but imagine kid eren wanting to beat y/n’s bullies and now cute little soft y/n is always following him like a puppy and eren thinks it’s so annoying but inside he finds it so cute and cute little soft gf will do anything for him even do his hw so eren just fucks her rough telling her how much he hates being follow or how weak she is but inside he doesn’t mean it all he loves her deeply and wants to protect her but later on she’s like “y-youre wrong so so wrong eren i’ve been in love with you ever since we were kids” yeah i’m dreaming abt it

(LMFAOOOO i copy and paste yeah hope it counts shawty babe)

i had a feeling this would be requested 😭 i hope i didn't butcher this smut too much, it's been a long time since i've written smut. thank you for requesting, i hope you enjoy! ♡

Like a Puppy

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW

"Can you leave me alone?"

(Y/N) was trying to get to class, she had one in about five minutes and of course, Porco Galliard was back to mess with her.

"Why? You gonna cry (Y/N)?" he asked, chuckling a bit.

She was backed up against the wall, Porco was hovering over her, a smirk on his face when he saw her cowering like a puppy with its tail in between its legs. It was a satisfying feeling to have power over her, Porco enjoyed messing around with her ever since she came into college with him.

"Um.." she mumbled, her eyes avoiding his piercing gaze. Porco had always been intimidating, ever since (Y/N) bumped into him her freshman year; he had always seeked her out whenever he pleased.

He grabbed one of her books, specifically the one she got from the school. A grin plastered across his features, "A book huh? You've always been a nerd," he said.

She tried reaching for it, but Porco raised it up into the air. "Please give it back!" she cried, trying to jump up to grab the book.

He started to chuckle seeing her struggle. "Not a chance in hell.." he replied, rolling his eyes. Amusement all over his face.

"Hey."

He turned his head and was met with a brunette towering over him. Eren Jaeger, the soccer player.

Porco gulped, "H-Hey Eren," he said with a nervous smile.

Eren took the book from Porco's hands. "Leave her the fuck alone. This is the third time I've seen you fucking with her! Didn't you learn your lesson last time when I beat your fucking ass?" he asked, his voice raised and loud. It made a few people glance over.

Porco rubbed the back of his neck. "S-Sorry! It won't happen again! Sorry (Y/N).." he said and scurried away down the hall.

Eren's green eyes met hers, it was an usual occurrence; Eren protecting (Y/N) from people who picked on her. It had been that way since they were kids, he was always there to save the day and he's even gotten bloody knuckles from hurting those who tried to pick on (Y/N).

Eren would always say that it was annoying, but deep down, he loved protecting her. He had strong feelings for her ever since he protected her that one day on the playground.

She's follow him like a puppy, people would tell Eren that she was weak and he shouldn't be getting in trouble on her behalf, but Eren didn't listen and he kept defending her whenever he could.

"Thank you again, Eren.." she said, looking down at the floor.

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah whatever.. did you do my homework?" he asked.

She blinked for a moment, totally realizing that she forgot. "Shit! I'm sorry.. I forgot to.. you can come by later and pick it up if you'd like," she replied, chewing on her bottom lip.

Eren let out an annoyed sigh. "I guess.. do you need me to walk you to class?" he asked with a brow raised.

She nodded, "Yes please," she replied.

Eren hummed in response and began to walk her to class, a few students stared at them when they passed by. People always stared whenever Eren and (Y/N) were together, she was known for being weak and a coward, while Eren was her protector who could get rid of anyone who tried hurting her.

He was used to it, so was she.

Eren stopped in front of the lecture hall door, she was late. "I'm a bit late.. but thank you," she said, throwing a smile his way.

Eren smiled, "Yeah don't sweat it," he said.

She waved before entering her class. Eren shoved his hands into his pockets, chewing on the gum in his mouth. What was he going to do about her?

-

It was around nine o'clock. (Y/N) had just finished the last of Eren's math homework, she silently hoped she got all of the work right or he'd be pissed.

She grabbed her phone, opening the message app and sending Eren a message that his homework was finished. He had to hurry up since the hall monitors might be around, and if they were they'd both get in trouble.

A sudden knock came from behind the door, was he here already? It barely took him any time to get there, which was odd.. was he in another girls dorm?

She stood up, fixing her skirt and heading towards the door. Opening it she was faced with Eren in sweats and a white t-shirt, he looked comfy to (Y/N).

"Hey.. I was out walking around when I saw your text, could I get my homework?" he asked, his voice raspy and deep. Almost like he had been asleep before.

"Y-Yeah! Come in.." she said, moving out of the way so he could step in.

Eren walked into her dorm, the faint smell of her perfume filled his nose. Lavender, his favorite.

"I finished it pretty quick so.. here you go," she said, holding the paper towards him.

Eren took it from her hands, his eyes scanning over the paper with different equations and work written all over it. When in doubt, go to (Y/N) for math homework answers.

"Thanks, I appreciate it." he said.

She smiled, "Of course!" she replied.

Eren sat down on her bed, his eyes taking in the sight of her form. She wore a skirt the barely stopped mid-thigh, a white blouse, and her white socks that went up to her ankles. It made his dick twitch.

"Eren? Is everything okay?" she asked, her voice filled with worry.

He blinked for a moment. "Yeah! Don't worry about me.. but could you come look at this for me?" he asked, nodding his head.

She walked in front of him. "What is it? Did I make a mistake?" she asked, taking the paper from his hands and scanning over the problems.

"You can sit.. you know," he said, eyeing his lap.

Her face suddenly grew hot, why sit on his lap? She had done it when she was younger with him, but it was a bit weird now. Eren was her close friend, not her significant other.

"U-Um.. okay," she replied, fixing her skirt and sitting down on his thigh.

Eren caught a glimpse of her white panties, he swore he saw her lips outlined in them. The blood rushing to his dick was making him go crazy, it'd be a little embarrassing if she noticed it too.. (Y/N) was kind of innocent when it came to that kind of stuff.

"I don't think I made any mistakes.. you'll know when the teacher checks it," she said, looking at him.

Eren hummed, "Oh.. I see," he replied.

She swallowed thickly, her heart was hammering in her chest. "Is everything okay Eren? You seem a little.. weird.." she said, biting her lip.

She felt so fragile in his lap, she was like porceline to him; porceline and precious. Eren always thought of her as angelic and important, he protected her and God forbid anyone tried to break her.

"You know.. I protect you all the time.. I beat up Porco.. hell, I even beat up Jean that one time. I'd hate to see you hurt," Eren said, brushing his fingers along the plush of her thigh.

Goosebumps flared onto her skin, the room started to feel hot and feverish. "That's sweet Eren," she replied, avoiding his gaze.

"But it makes you weak.. you're so weak and it annoys the hell out of me," he said, leaning his head to her neck. His breath fanned over her skin, making her shiver. "You're so weak and fragile.. I'd hate to see you get hurt," he added.

Her mind felt dizzy, an unfamiliar feeling was starting to take over. She could feel her body heating up and her breath starting to become heavy, heat pooling between her legs.

"B-But.. you're always there to s-save me.." she replied in between breaths.

Eren smirked against her skin. "That's right.." he replied, kissing at her neck. "Can I touch you?" he asked, rubbing circles on the flesh of her thigh.

"Please.. please touch me Eren," she whimpered.

Eren pushed the fabric of her skirt up, exposing her white panties. His cock twitched, he could almost feel the wet spot forming in his boxers; it made him groan as his eyes drank in the sight of her bare lower half.

He used his hand to spread open her legs, a damp spot visible from her slick. It made Eren smirk, "All of this.. for me?" he asked.

Her face was hot, "Y-Yes.." she replied.

He chuckled and slid his hands underneath her panties, her pussy was soaked and dripping with arousal; it made Eren want to cum in his pants already. He wanted to feel her in him, sucking him in and taking his dick, nobody else's.

Eren started circling and pinching at her clit, her wetness coating his fingers.

"Mmm.. Eren.." she whimpered, squeezing at the fabric of his shirt.

Her hips bucked when his finger circled around her bead, it made Eren chuckle. He never knew she could be so sensitive.

"I barely touched you and you're already twitching.. I turn you on that much huh (Y/N)?" he asked, pressing his lips against her neck, his teeth grazing against the skin.

She moaned in response, her body acting on its own and moving upwards towards his fingers.

Eren used his hand to tilt her face towards his. "Say it." he said, looking into her eyes which were blown with lust.

"Y-Yes! E-Eren, please!" she cried, throwing her head back as his pace quickened against her clit.

Eren stopped and removed his fingers from her cunt, a whine coming from (Y/N).

"Lay down.." he said, pecking her lips and tapping her ass.

She stood up on wobbly legs and plopped down on her bed. She could see his print that formed in his sweatpants, a visible wet spot darkened the material; it made her rub her legs together in anticipation.

Eren threw off his shirt, exposing his worked out body. It never failed to make (Y/N) surprised, his physique always attracted her to him.

He tossed his sweatpants off and climbed onto her bed, he was leaning on his knees, he seemed to be thinking about something. It confused (Y/N) for a moment.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, her voice a bit worried.

He looked at her, "Take off your clothes.." he said.

She felt bashful but nonetheless did she remove her top and the rest of her outfit, her whole body was now exposed to him. Eren's eyes explored her breasts, down to her waist, then finally her pretty wet pussy. He was like an animal hunting its prey, and he was hungry for her.

"Can I?" Eren asked, his hands brushing over her clit.

She nodded, "Yes.. please," she replied, pressing her thighs together a bit.

Eren leaned back on his knees, savoring the view. He got down in between her legs, his tongue dragging over her pussy; the taste made him go crazy. He knew she'd taste good, he had been fantasizing about this moment for so long.. and it was finally happening.

Eren's tongue explored her folds, her wetness collecting onto his chin and the tip of his nose. Soft whimpers and moans came from (Y/N)'s mouth as Eren licked around her pussy, her hands slightly tugged at the strands of his hair which was tied back in a bun.

He slid on of his digits into her hole, a loud moan escaping her mouth. "Eren! Yes! Please! Please.." she cried, moving her hips upwards near his face.

Eren pinned her hips down, his pupils were blown and darkened. "Keep your fucking hips down.." he replied before attacking her clit again.

She leaned her head back against the pillow beneath her, her eyes squeezed shut, the pleasure becoming almost unbearable. Eren's finger kept curling around her g-spot every so often, making her eyes see white.

A knot in her stomach threatened to break, tingles danced along her skin, her orgasm was coming.

"E-Eren! I-I'm gonna c-cum!" she whimpered, digging her nails into his scalp.

Eren's jade like eyes looked up towards her, a smirk formed onto his face; he pulled his face away and removed his finger from her pussy.

Bastard.

Eren's chin was coated with her arousal, his lips were puffy and slightly parted. "You wanna taste yourself princess?" he asked, leaning down towards her face.

She looked into his eyes before nodding her head. Eren's lips connected with hers, she could taste the slightly tangy flavor of her slick on his lips. Her arms went around his neck, bringing him down closer.

Eren pulled away, "I wanna fuck you so bad.. can I?" he asked in between deep breaths.

She nodded her head, "Yes.. please.." she replied.

Eren sat up for a moment and tossed his boxers off, his cock sprang free and slapped against his stomach. The tip was red and oozing precum.

He wiped away the precum with his thumb, he slightly stroked his shaft, groaning a bit. "Are you ready?" he asked, his voice deep.

"Yes.." she said, looking down at his cock.

Eren rubbed the tip against her slick folds, groans escaped his mouth, it felt so good. He could feel her pussy pulsating against his tip, it turned him on so much.

He leaned down and kissed her as he entered her wet hole, a loud moan coming from her mouth from Eren stretching her hole. Eren's hands gripped at the sheets beside her head, her walls were gripping his cock so tightly he could almost cum on the spot.

"O-Oh God Eren!" she cried, putting her arms around his neck.

Eren bottomed out and began to thrust his hips against hers, her moans were like music to his ears. He felt a sense of pride and power.. Eren was making her feel this way, all him, nobody else. She felt so good around him, it was like her pussy was made for Eren to fuck; she was so tight and wet, it drove him crazy.

She cried out in pleasure when his cock hit that spot which made her see stars. "Right there.." she whimpered, clawing at his back.

Eren smirked against her skin. "Look at you.. all sensitive and needy for your protector.." he said, nibbling at the shell of her ear. "You follow me around like a fucking puppy and act like it's nothing.."

He felt her walls tighten a bit from his words, Eren found it to be amusing. "Eren! It's too much! Shit.." she yelled, throwing her head back.

His balls slapped against her clit, the only sound that could be heard was her mattress and her sweet moans. Eren wanted to savor her, she was so pretty underneath him.

"Take my cock pretty girl.. I know you can," he said before dragging his hand down to play with her clit. "You're even weak for my fucking cock.."

She locked her ankles around his waist, her stomach formed that knot again; she was close and Eren could feel it.

"E-Eren! I-I.." she trailed off as her vision was going blurry, that knot broke and her body shook; her walls squeezing Eren's cock tightly.

He let out a laugh. "Fuuckk.. that's a good fucking girl.. cum around my dick," he groaned, pumping into her quicker.

Her moans poured out of her mouth, her cunt felt tired, but Eren wasn't finished just yet. He was close and he was determined to finish the job inside of her.

"Part of me thinks you like when I come save you.. do you like it baby?" he asked, putting his hand near her throat.

She looked at him with half-lidded eyes. "Mmhm.." she replied, nodding her head.

He chuckled, "I know you do.. you only use me to get away from Porco.." he said.

Her head snapped back when those words came out of Eren's mouth. "E-Eren.. you're w-wrong! I've l-loved you s-since we were k-kids!" she said in between moans.

Eren's eyes grew wide, his pace started to slow as his brain processed what she just told him. "H-Huh..? You.. you love me?" he asked, leaning up.

She nodded, "Yes I do.." she replied.

Without warning, Eren smashed his lips onto hers and continued thrusting into her. "I love you so fucking much (Y/N).." he said, intertwining his fingers with hers. "Let me fill you up.."

She lifted her hips upwards. "Please! Please fill me up Eren, I love you too!" she cried.

Eren picked up the pace, his cock twitched inside of her and within seconds he hit his orgasm; his cum coating her walls with white thick ropes. He groaned and threw his head back from the waves of pleasure that washed over him.

The two laid there, catching their breath. Eren collapsed next to her on the bed, sweat coated their bodies and Eren's face was slightly pink.

"Did you mean that? When you said you loved me?" (Y/N) asked, turning her body towards his.

Eren looked at her, "I did mean it, you're so important to me and I want to keep you safe." he replied.

She smiled, "I'd love that from you.." she whispered.

Eren leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, it was real and passionate. Just like his feelings for her.

"I promise to keep you safe," Eren said, cupping her cheek.

She leaned into his chest. "Thank you Eren.." she said, laying her head down.

"Of course (Y/N).." he replied, stroking her hair.

[cockroachmotherfucker10]

PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

[darth-does-stuff]

triggers: cursing, assholes, helicopter parents, mentions of being a ‘gifted kid’, losing someone mention/implication, dying mention/implication, public being stressful, tell me if i need to add anything please!!

“Hey, Pat, why do you act so differently when doing the superhero gig?” Virgil asked casually, hanging upside down off the couch. His eyes widened as he realized what he said and quickly added, “Only if you wanna answer, of course.” He coughed awkwardly, staring resolutely up at the ceiling.

Patton snorted softly, leaning back in the armchair. “‘S alright, Vee. I’m fine with answering,” he moved around slightly as he tried to get comfortable before sighing. “The reason I act so bubbly and cheerful when in the costume is, 1, because of the fucking mayor. Dude’s a prick who believes that if you aren’t happy, you can’t possibly be a superhero. If you don’t act happy, let the mask slip for even a second, he threatens to boot you from the city and reveal your identity, the asshole,” he rolled his eyes, muttering some colorful things under his breath. 

“Anyways, besides the insolent mayor, the public just expects us to act like that. For Roman, it isn’t as much of a problem, considering he’s sort of just naturally like that. But even for him, it gets straining and tiring after a while. The public pushes that expectation of being bright and peppy and charming to a whole new, unobtainable, and frankly unhealthy level,” Patton explained, leaning his head against his fist. “But yeah, I guess. Hope that explains it.”

 The two vigilantes sat there as they pondered that for a moment before Virgil spoke up softly, but with no less feeling in his voice, “Why do the corrupt people always have to be the ones that have power?”

Logan snorted contemptuously, “Normal people don’t need that power. They’re usually content with their lot in life, at least the ones that aren’t too affected by dumbass decisions. But corrupt people? If they get even the slightest taste of power, hell, they don’t even need to have gotten that, they’ll claw their way to the top, to those positions of power. Because they’re determined enough to make it there, because they won’t let anyone get in their way. And we’re the ones that have to deal with the collateral damage from them and their decisions.” 

“It’s such a shame,” Roman said quietly, picking fuzz off the carpet. “People might have actual happy lives if it weren’t for these—these monsters,” his fist clenched, the knuckles going white as he experienced a wave of strong emotions.

Patton gave a mirthless laugh, “That’s offensive to monsters. The fuckers are so much worse.” 

Logan stared directly at the ground, already knowing what question was going to come next. His phone was blowing up, going through different games apps and games as his powers went slightly haywire. He took a deep breath just as the question came.

“Hey, Logan…if you don’t mind me asking…why do you also act so different in the mask? I mean, you’re much more…” Roman struggled to find the correct word, “humorous when you’re not in the costume. I’m just kinda wondering if it’s for sort of similar reasons as Pat’s?” 

Logan let out a deep sigh, staring at the ground for a moment before looking up, leaning back up against the wall. “I don’t mind. It’s kind of complicated I guess. There’s just a lot of layers to it,” he said quietly, his phone finally turning off. “As a kid, my mom and dad were essentially helicopter parents. I was their first kid and they were so worried they’d mess up somehow. They didn’t let me play with the other kids that much, didn’t let me put up posters in my room or decorate it, made me focus on my studies and school.

At around 12, they finally relaxed. I had a 4 year old brother by then and my baby sister had been born a month ago. I was free to do so much more suddenly. But…I didn’t. Because I was scared. I stuck to what I knew, my studies and my books. I was pegged as ‘the gifted kid’. And, y’know what? I could live with that. I could deal with being whispered about, ‘Oh, he’s that smart kid right?’ ‘Yeah, it’s kinda freaky how he knows so much,’” he mimicked the students' whispering voices. 

“Just as long as I was taken seriously, as long as I wasn’t a joke, I could live with it. But during…I think it was around either  senior year in high school or freshman year in college, I realized that I…didn’t want that. I wanted to joke around, I wanted to relax, I wanted to unwind, I wanted to finally be myself. But there was always that part of me that did want to be taken seriously and that translated to my superhero persona, I guess. And being a vigilante, I had to work doubly hard to be taken seriously. People always seemed to be aware that I wasn’t a superhero, always assuming that I failed to become one, when in reality it was my choice. But they just assumed that being a vigilante was somehow inferior to being a superhero, as if they couldn’t accept that, hey! News flash, they might even be equals!” he did sarcastic jazz hands before letting his arms fall limply to his sides, his head falling back onto the wall.  

“I just…I had to be taken seriously, y’know? Else people might not listen to me and I could…” he swallowed. “I could lose them,” he whispered hoarsely. Virgil stiffened slightly at the last sentence, before consciously making his muscles relax. The two vigilantes shared a small glance before Logan resumed talking. 

“But when I’m out of the suit, I don’t need to worry about that stuff. I can just…be myself. I don’t need to worry about being listened to, being considered a joke, because there’s not many real consequences with that. Nobody’s gonna literally die if they don’t follow my instructions. Sure, I might get a little annoyed, but ultimately I can just flip them off and move on,” he shrugged slightly, just a small lift of the shoulders. 

The two superheroes' mouths formed in silent ‘O’. “Damn,” Roman whispered, his hand still at his side as the fuzz lay forgotten on the carpet. 

Patton chuckled mirthlessly, resting his cheek on his fist. “Guess this city’s really fucked up, huh?” he asked tiredly, the bags under his eyes obvious. 

Virgil’s mouth quirked upwards at the corners, “And that’s why we’re here.”

authors notes: gotta love them one shots ghdshadsfjsa. this one shot basically just explains the distinction between their superhero/vigilante personas and their actual personalities and the reasons behind them.

[anak-sapi]

Haha happy Wednesday from the anak sapi family 😎😎🐄😎😎😎

And want to introduce my boys!!!! They could meet, talk, or maybe "take over someone else's body" with each other on their mind. Kinda like sense 8 if you have watched it!

Age dont really matter since they are born based on when I read/make their stories for the first time.

【Last Edit : 16 February 2022】

*leans to an expensive car* "hey lol"

Aries OG is the oldest! Started from only a one time character name around 2018, and then I was like "Aries is a pretty good name" and a unisex name too! Though I am a cancer but I just found out last year that aries is my moon sign so, I guess something just meant to be.

He is from my ✨original works✨, that only has so many snippets rather than the original works itself. He got cursed by the nature because of the stuff I havent come out with, and got a yearly accident that involves bones. The worst one is when he's 18: he got into a car crash that makes him wore prosthetic on his right leg. He is now fine tho! Maybe. Back in his college year he is known as the "Korban tabrak lari". Now he works at his family company.

Other Aries called him Abang since he is the oldest. Somehow he is like mama sapi's right-hand man. Other Aries likes to go to him for advice.

"Why would you go to me for advice? We are the same."

"Idk I just feel like going to you."

*sigh* "Well let's see whats the problem and resolve it together

"I hope I get a raise... I want a new car."

Next one is Detective Aries Raylight from cyoa games The Wayhaven Chronicles! It's the first time I put the name Aries in a cyoa game, and the start of my interactive fiction obsession 💀

Detective Raylight has a high people skill, but he get overwhelmed pretty easily by Felix's flirt and compliments. Sadly he got kidnapped by a pshyco scientist vampire and ever since that he got scared of needles and possibly have a traumatic experience that he would not ever forget. Recently there's a hole in his apartment ceiling and his car is dying.

In the fam he tends to become the neutral police when other Aries fight each other.

"If it isn't the consequences of my own action."

Next one is Aries from a cyoa games Breach: The Archangel Job. He got so many names like this Watt Zit Tooya and sometimes he goes with Aries like other Aries. Sometimes he refers as Criminal Aries.

He was an undercover cops, task to infiltrate a criminal group. In the middle of his mission, he realize being a criminal is way more fun and he can dismantle other criminal group faster with them rather than with the law. And he also happens to fell in love with on of the leader so... yeah. Really depends and believes in luck.

I really like the story! Very contrast to Detective Aries. Though they got along pretty well with each other. He likes to pick a fight with Aries TATW.

"3 am and I'm still awake."

The Tired College Student Aries! He is from, yes, another cyoa games Keeper of The Sun and Moon. He's been through a lot!

His 1st semester didn't go well... Turns out he is not a human, monsters keep attacking him, the class subject is hard, and so on. Lately he found out that his mom is an empath! As in, can control other people emotion. And why you'd look at that! Turns out his boyfriend is an empath too 🚶 Oh and his father? Currently date his professor back in university. His mom is a

Probably the quietest among the Aries. Other Aries likes to help him do his homework.

"Does this thing exist in the 1920's???"

The time traveler Aries! Or the out of pocket Aries. From the story Two Against the World at fictif app.

The point is, he got isekai to a gangster movie. He help this leader of the crime family to decide the fate of the movie. With the said leader, now they get out from the gangster world and live as a movie producer. Got tangled with too much headcannon, his story start to really stray away from the original. They both like it tho.

Sibling-hate Criminal Aries because coincidentally Criminal Aries's love interest is the one who killed 5 families of NY, and Aries TATW's love interest is one of the 5 families on NY. Mama sapi already told them they came from a different dimension, but they wont listen.

[btsficsforthehumble]

adj.: 1. Modern, unfamiliar, or different

2. Not based on or conforming to what is generally done or believed

pairing: reader x ot7

genre: college au; angst, fluff, smut, poly, ot7

Summary: You begin your first year at a prestigious university, set out on achieving your academic goals when a series of men step into your life that change the way you view the definition of love.

A/N: Small s/o to Fae from sope-and-shine for giving me great inspiration for this chapter!

Part Three

Warnings: none in this chapter

Word count: 1.8k

You continue down the street, noticing yourself hold a faint smile from your time with Jimin. You have a feeling Intro to Comp will be more fun than you anticipated with him to keep you company. You really appreciated his easy-going nature that allowed playful digs to seem second nature between you two, even if you had just met.

You glance up at the sun, now starting to feel more intense as it approaches midday. Noticing, you slip your sunglasses out of your backpack and look at your phone to double check directions --- you weren’t too confident getting around campus quite yet. As you are looking at your GPS app, you see a text pop up from an unknown number.

*Hi y/nnnnn it’s your favorite seat partner from intro to comp!! Hehe*

You roll your eyes at Jimin’s text, and save his number.

*You are my only seat partner from intro to comp, Jimin. It’s been one day.*

*:( Don’t be a meanie, y/n. You know I’d be your favorite no matter what :DD*

*Who's to say? Maybe next time I’ll sit closer to Yoongi*

*GASP. You wouldn’t dare*

*Are you willing to put money on that?*

As you text Jimin, you follow the directions on your phone and end up at a cute little grocery store, with a built in cafe off to the side. When you notice it, you get some spring in your step. After seeing the coffee that the other students had in class you were yearning for a cup of your own, especially after your hectic morning.

The barista sent you a smile as you read the menu. Deciding on a nice warm cappuccino, you tell her your order and walk over to the side to receive your drink when she finishes.

She rings you out, and as you wait for your drink you begin running though your mental grocery list. Thankfully your apartment had a decent kitchen, which you knew you’d get good use of as you enjoyed cooking when you had a chance. Not to mention, your parents owned a small bakery in your hometown which meant you were well versed in the art of baking, and often found yourself baking during stressful moments in your life as a distraction. Maybe while you were here you’d pick up some basic supplies for baking… sugar, flour, baking soda, vanilla extract….

Your train of thought was quickly cut off by the barista, sliding your drink across the counter with a smile. You give her one back as you thank her, and stroll over to where you think the baking aisle would be. You take your time, checking out the products in each section to make sure you got everything you needed, beyond just your baking supplies.

As you near the paper goods aisle, you barely see a figure swing around the corner and run smack-dab into a paper towel display, which happened to be less than a meter from you. Unfortunately, the collision caused several of the rolls to go flying --- and one flying hard enough to knock the fresh coffee right out of your hand.

The chaos of the moment causes you to stand a little open mouthed while you stare at the now half-empty cardboard coffee cup rolling on it’s side away from you.

Toward the top of your field of vision you see a pair of men’s sneakers, which causes you to scan up towards his face. He is looking at you with the widest doe-eyed shocked expression you have possibly ever seen. His arms are half reached out, as if he wants to help, but can’t as he already caused the damage. One of the arms reaching out at you has a patchwork of black ink, trailing down over his toned muscles to his knuckles. His oversized grey t-shirt and loose jeans seem to swallow him a bit, which only adds to the almost child-like innocence of his wide eyes. Wavy brown hair frames his face, accentuating his masculine jawline.

Once your eyes connect for a few seconds, surely both wide in shock, he makes a squeaking noise and bends down to collect the scattered rolls.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going and I took the turn too fast, I’ll go buy you another coffee as soon as I pick these up---” His voice, while speaking rapidly, remained soft and delicate, obviously embarrassed at his mistake. When you bend down to join him in collecting the runaway towels, he cuts himself off to again look at you with a wide-eyed expression.

You smile at him, the surprise from the situation fading as you stretch your upper body as far as you can to grab one that rolled particularly far. “It’s okay, we all can be clumsy sometimes. I promise it’s not that big of a deal, it was just a coffee.” You give him a warm smile in reassurance, wanting to ease his obvious anxiety.

You both stand up, having collected the spilled display and him grabbing your abandoned coffee cup. “Um, what were you drinking? I’ll get you a new one, it’s the least I could do.” His blush deepens with his question, and he nervously glances off to the side as he grabs his elbow of the hand holding the empty cup to make himself smaller.

“It was a cappuccino… but honestly, you really don’t need to, it’s okay.” Sending him another warm smile, you hope to convey your ease at the situation.

“No, I want to. I’ll be right back, okay?” He holds your gaze for a second, seeming to double check that you weren’t going to run away on him.

“Okay.” Once you let out your reply, he sends you a quick smile as he turns around and lightly jogs away from you, back the direction you came from.

You can't help but notice the subtle ripple of his muscles across his shoulder blades as he does so. For being so meek, he sure had quite the muscular build under those baggy clothes. He definitely was “yummy” to use the word Jimin so aptly applied to Yoongi earlier. At the memory, you couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle under your breath.

You scan the area quickly, making sure your run in with the boy didn’t leave a mess anywhere in the store. After seeing it clear, you glance back over your shoulder to watch him talking to the same barista. You could tell, even from this distance, that he seemed slightly embarrassed and had a pink tinge to his cheeks. The duality of this guy honestly is blowing your mind… his tattoos and muscular physique would give the impression that he would be super intimidating and confident, but by the way he blushed at attention so easily and was so timid when he apologized to you showed that he was was really a big sweetheart.

As he was now waiting for the barista to remake your drink, standing in the same spot you occupied a few minutes ago, you felt awkward hovering in the spot of the incident. After a quick glance back at him, you thought he would be able to find you pretty easily if you ventured down the aisle further. An aisle down from the paper goods, you found yourself in the exact aisle you were looking for.

Your mind quickly abandoned any prior thought as you took stock of the baking supplies the store had to offer. It looks like you’d be spending more on groceries today than you had anticipated.

“Um, here’s your coffee…” The boy from earlier had returned before you realized any time had passed. Caught, you looked at him, now looking at you, with a hesitant look on his face, as he saw the almost comical amount of stuff you had balanced in your arms. Now embarrassed a tad, you realize you have no hand to take the coffee from him, and it seems like it had just occurred to him too. He looked back and forth between the coffee in his hand and your ridiculously full arms and quickly offered, “I’ll be right back. I’ll get you a basket.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I’m sorry, I guess I got carried away!” You sheepishly respond to his kind offer. It was above what a normal person would do. He nodded his head quickly and did his half-jog thing again to go back to the front of the store. You weren’t getting tired of the view, to be honest.

Before you even knew it, he was back and gently removing items from the tetris you created in your arms of baking supplies. “Thank you so much, you really don't have to do any of this…” you feel slightly guilty for the boy’s kindness.

“No, it’s really okay, I shouldn’t have thrown paper towels at you.” As he speaks, he catches your eye and gives you a smile you could only compare to a cute bunny or other small adorable creature. You couldn’t help but fall just a little in love with him right there in the aisle. Now comfortable enough to joke with you, you left out a surprised laugh in response. You tip your head back slightly and feel your cheeks squish up without warning.

“I suppose you got me there. Maybe try to lower the aggression levels on your next grocery store run,” you egg him on slightly, a teasing smile remaining on his face.

“What would be the fun in that?” His eyes hold contact just a millisecond longer than normal, and you swear you see a glint of mischief in them. Ah, so bunny-boy knows at least a little how much of a hunk he is.

“Do you flirt with pretty girls at the store by knocking the coffee out of their hands for fun then?” Your eyebrow is raised slightly, and your tone stays as a teasing lilt.

Apparently at his banter limit, he blushes and gapes for a second. “Just teasing you. Thank you again for the coffee,” you reassure. Full basket and fresh coffee in hand, you flash him one last grin before you make your way around him to head towards the register.

As you leave the store, re-entering the street, you can’t help but hope you run into that guy again. He seemed like a genuinely sweet person that you’d love to be friends with. Starting towards the direction of your apartment, you ponder the chances.

You also ponder what baked treat you were going to throw the rest of your afternoon into. After some mental deliberation, you settled on muffins. Easy to take with you for that pesky morning calculus class. Ugh, at the thought of calculus you groaned inside a little. Not only did you have to grapple with the boring math, but you now have to grapple with the decidedly not so boring boys in your class.

[ggsstudies]

my home notion page

- an explanation

ok so for those of you who know what notion is, i bet you’re v excited for this (heck i am!) but for those of you who don’t, notion is an app you can get on all platforms (and even access from the internet) and it can really do anything. people use it as digital planners and organizing their “second brain.” in this post, i’m giving a little update on my home page and how i use it in my life almost every single day.

so here is what my home page looks like! she’s pretty cute ngl hehe ok so! the top line i just have a little quote/reminder for myself and a link directing to my ~ideal self~ basically a page where i talk about what i want to do with my life and stuff like that. it’s kinda cheesy but oh well. on the far left, i have my most reached pages like my to do lists, a page for random thoughts that i categorize later, my weekly reviews, and a couple other things! in the middle, there is a board with some of my notes that i need to review (please don’t mind how many there are, i’m behind and i’m trying to work out a routine to review my notes so it’s a work in progress) then, on the far right, i have a board for people i should reach out to since i haven’t talked to them awhile! mostly friends, family, and teachers from back home :)

if you scroll down a little farther on this home page, you see on the far right, a board that says “last...” this is to help me track the last time i did laundry, exfoliated my face, vacuumed, and other tasks like that! since i’m in college, i just try to get to those things whenever i can so i don’t have a set routine (aka i don’t do all the things on one day like i did when i was in high school bc hi i don’t have that much time). then, near the bottom left, i have a section called “reference.” i don’t access these pages that often but they’re good to have. they’re pretty straight forward. then i have two pages under personal projects: my blog (ha oops haven’t done that much) and then photography (aka a list of photos to edit). then on the right i have my master calendar for school. this has my deadlines and test dates so it’s vvvvv important

here’s a look at my “last...” page! basically what i just talked about above. with notion, i can have it notify me when i need to do something (uses the “overdue” section). it’s really hard to explain super quick but i guess that’s the best way i would describe it. if you want to learn more about making tables and stuff like that in notion, i would go to youtube! i really like watching ali abdaal’s videos on notion so i would suggest checking those out!

this is my “dreaming” page! it houses what my idea day(s) looks like in addition to my goals and my bucket list. i think it’s super important to have goals and stuff like this stored somewhere. i just chose to store it in notion!

and then here’s a glance at my “master to do list” page. i used this a lot more over the summer when i jsut had so much to do for college, packing, and other stuff! i really love how i organized it into categories so i can easily see what i need to do. it just keeps it really organized so i don’t have a never ending to do list. 

so yeah! that’s a quick look at my notion home page and a couple other pages linked in it! soon i’m going to make a post about how i use notion for school because i have a whole separate page just for that! i absolutely love notion and i could go all day about it. i think everyone should try it because a) it’s free and b) students that have a school email (like .edu) can get the pro plan for free. i have a whole bunch of other posts about notion and i’ll probably make a bunch more so just look around for them! 

let me know if you have any questions or want me to do more posts about notion!!!

xo- gg

october 2020 

[memory-hoarder]

WARNING (LONG POST AHEAD)

I turn off the lights, scrolled my phone and clicked the Spotify app currently listening to (calming acoustic) 10: 05 PM, best time to unleashed all emotions that piled up from nowhere. I covered myself with a huge blanket and placed the laptop on my lap and decided to visit my page. I know, I'm being inactive lately but I'm doing my best to update my journal publicly to remind me of my long absences.

Tonight, I decided to post the questions I received a night before my birthday celebrated. I kept this on my file for a month now. Admittedly, this is the huge decision I made on my birthday. So, I asked a random people on my messenger lists - some are my work colleagues while others are acquaintances. At first, I am hesitant to ask for favor to anyone but I did. Well, I guess it was successful though I received different reactions - some confused and thought I was making fun while others are game on to sent their questions. Obviously, it took days for me to answered cos it turns out that I wasn't prepared myself for few questions that somehow affects me literally.

The twist here is I am not allow to send my answer to their questions. However, I can answer it through this journal. Which I described as bravery.

Here are some of the questions:

How’s Life? How’s Life?

A question that been asked me twice. Well, this year was the great sadness of my life that challenged me mentally, emotionally and drained me physically. Sometimes a mere struggle on financially. I’m doing fine but lots of times I seriously breaking down especially the trauma of what happened 8 months ago. But today, I accepted the fact and slowly healing me and appreciate what really God’s intention and plan for my life.

Are you happy right now?

Not sure how to put it into words but there is no reason not to be happy. Right? If you just appreciate the life you are living right now or even the smallest thing that makes you smile or giggle I guess there is no reason to be sad at all. Although, lots of times I felt happy, sad, angry or lost. But there are still lots of reasons to celebrate or be joyful too. I juts let myself felt all the emotions that life wanted me to experienced to remind me that I indeed exist. There are people who could bring me joy and sadness at the same time but all I know they are all part of my journey.

Have you ever missed me before we lost our communication? Do you consider me as true friend?

Of course, I do. I miss the old you the person who I genuinely treasured during my college days. And, you are one of the reasons why I indeed survived college. I just don’t understand why we both let this friendship died. Was it because we no longer catch up? But, how I hope building friendship again will no longer hard as I imagined. But, please know that you became part of my story. I always count on you whenever I am sad and confused. I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts because I know you will never judge me. Hope to see you again soon. Take care of yourself!

Why there are times you don’t have the mood to talk?

Because, I read my surroundings and I feel comfortable being alone not to isolate but to process my own thoughts with myself which my normal thing growing up and I choose this way - became aloof at times not wanted to talk to anyone or go out. It makes me sad to think only few understand my personality. However, I can't just normalize this because of extrovert people I knew. I don’t have mood to talk and I push away people closed to me because I find a happy place being alone. Its not sad or dark what it gives me is peace of mind that no on can offer.

Would you like to change your past or stay on your present path? Why and why not?

I believed majority will choose the past, we all wanted to change one thing that we regret of doing - apologies, goodbye's, places to travel, opportunities we must have and other important things we slip away that is why I choose the past over my present. One thing I am eager to experience all over again is my mom's precious life, only if I had the power to bring her back. I was just 16 years old when she died, and I think the years of her being a mother to us will never be enough. However, her life is a blessing and all the valuable teachings that she imparted on me and to my siblings will remain on us forever. How I wish for her to at least see as growing up especially my brother that she spoiled a lot, and for us to give back all the things she deserved. I imagined date her on a restaurant, buy her clothes, treat her to the salon or accompany her on the grocery store. I also wanted to visit the past to catch up with my high school friends – Mira and Jeno, I will never forget how they literally brings me deep joy and the reason I am early bird during junior high because of the dare. I just missed the sound of Jeno's sense of humor, I treated her more than a friend rather a sister and it broke me when I received the news that he's gone. I was not there for him nor visit his and mom's grave for years now. I wanted to comfort Mira, but I am too far away and impossible to have my own money for my flight expenses. What I did is to cried and prayed for his soul. All of the good memories flashed back once more yet I realized God might took away two beautiful souls in my life but I am confident they watching over and guiding me through life.

I am or was curious regarding James situation, did it ever cross your mind you regret James being your boyfriend?

In all of the questions I received this one hits me hard to the core. For everyone’s knowledge James and I are in a relationship for over 4 years now. Just like other couples we did fight over little things yet we matured and grow together. One thing I really loved about James Charlie is how kind and pure his heart. He helps people as long as he can even himself are struggling to live. Not to mention his over confidence that I am jealous of. I guess, because of how friendly and inviting his amour. Also, a talented one he knows how to dance, sing and imitate different kinds of sounds, He’s grammar and vocabulary are lit. He can also play guitar very well, draw portrait’s and even writing a poems. He knew, he won my heart through his creative abilities. I was also surprised how he interested over history of aliens, bermuda triangle, mermaids and what I consistently heard of the Pyramid of Giza, life documentaries and other related history of it. I find him sexy whenever he talked about some of it. Our age gap is never an issue on our relationship and I am lucky that he guided me on everything, considered my opinions or thoughts and when I freaked out badly which occasionally happened he handle me perfectly and I appreciated his temperament level during my anxiety attacks or whenever I choose to isolate myself him being shut off. He understood me in my own terms and be myself. Yet relationship will test your loved from one another, there were also things that I don’t like of him doing however James does listened to me. He listens to advises either coming from me or from other people that cared for him. He is a vocal person, that one thing that I fall for him is his sense of humor. I guess talkative and being clingy towards person is his nature especially growing up in a broken family. Consistent communication is a key. I remembered he told me that I was different to all the girls she dated on his past life. That I am out of his league, he doesn’t know that he is of out my league too but when I know him deeply he taught me lessons in life and felt his warm love. Over the course of our relationship he respect the limitless of our love language and he accepted and understood the love without intimacy is a different level of love and respect and from his perspective I wanted everyone to know that James has a huge respect towards me, my beliefs and reasons. How someone could wait for something that he can easily took away something on his past relationship. Our relationship is somehow changed us individually into a better person. Getting older, he became dreamer and goal oriented. I witnessed all his hard work, that he celebrated through silence. He wanted to build home and think of small business that will be our retirement in the future. How many kids we wanted or how many dogs we will going to breed. I guess, some people misunderstood James for so long, how miserable life that no one to talk and curse during your victories or failures? Friends and addiction in alcohol and other stuff are his way of escaped, escape from the reality that lead him to take his own precious life once. I know how difficult life for him way back on his early 20’s that he fought all his battle alone and how he overcome his depression and addiction without someone to lean on. And nowadays, everything makes sense to me that I realize being independent sometimes is not a choice but more on a decision. decision and accepting no one will guide you through your journey so you have to do it alone either it brings you sadness or happiness in a process, not to count living alone and make money all by yourself. I agreed he might do bad decision in life but that doesn’t mean his life has no purpose at all. Instead, God is confident that he will win this battle not for everyone, not for the sake of me or our relationship but for himself. As for our current situation, I know being with him and fight through the end will inspired him a lot. Yes, he currently working on his self and will prove to everyone when the time comes that he will be able to regain his new

life and continue living.

We introverts, tend to think a lot, like really overthink a lot. What do you mostly overthink and how deep? Deep, like does it leads you to think more negatively resulting to depression? (mild depression, maybe).

I overthink some scenarios on my head when it really affects my whole being and when every time I think of it, obviously it trigger my anxiety not depression I guess. I can recall one or two hard situations that happened to me, and I know it wasn’t me trying to act that way. I even punished myself and literally breakdown trying to hurt myself, call me freak or whatever cos now I asked myself too how I even allowed myself to did terrible things, because anxiety creeping on me and telling me to do it. But, mostly I think of is my future and myself – deep that it scared me a lot. I have lot of questions of this world that I keep on searching by myself until now.

Why it took for you to share your problems?

Honestly, when I’m having a serious problem I am not confident to share to anybody except to my family who already knew. It took too long because advises no longer work for me, I listened because it was normal people do – advise and advise. Maybe, it was me who are picky to share my problem with, sometimes people listened but never in heart. Not all people deserve to know your struggle and during your lowest times, I have my own terms of coping so you do.

How do you maintain your petite body? If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wow! I never see this coming. Well, I guess being fit is what I inherited on my father's side. They not so fat unlike on my mother's side. I have no limit on foods I intake in other words not your discipline person to look up to. I do eat carbs, junk foods and sodas is always on my list. I never worried if I am physically fit aside from walking Maxine during days off. I don't know how do I maintain this body I guess I'm never. Being fit actually is my insecurity. However, I do loved my body whatever what happen.

Well, if I had 3 wishes in life - first, to end this pandemic so that everything will back to normal. second, for James to have peace of mind and good health while waiting for the process of his case. And, lastly, for me to be strong, lasting patience and strong faith.

How would you solve your problems?

Problems is always part of lives. But, I believed it is always about the degree of the problem. Whenever, I had problem sometimes I resolved it in time but other times I need more time and space to think what will be the resort of it. And, pray for some guidance.

As independent being, how do you handle depression and anxiety?

Good thing to end all of this questions, I became independent when I graduated from college. I have to commute 131 kilometers back and forth from another city just to apply on my first job and the process is never easy at all. When you sent all of your applications form on each companies but never accepted It brought so much sadness, one point of my life I am eager to seek job because I used it as my coping mechanism to walked away from home which I did now, I walked away to protect my peace of mind especially having anxiety growing up and having this thing is hard as people imagined. You might only see darkness and feel of losing but for me, I guess for a year now I handled myself perfectly I never allow this condition to swallow me whole and affect my way of living. I reminded myself to keep strong and remain optimist and always protect my peace of mind at all cost.

.

I am 24 now strong and happy and leaving Haruki Murakami quote: "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what storms all about"

[sheeple]

Real thing | 9A: Shoot him

GIFS NOT MINE. THIS IS ALL FICTION. Genre(s): mafia!au / hacker!au Group(s): NCT Pairing(s): Qian Kun x fem!reader / Jung Jaehyun x fem!reader Summary: (Y/n), a college student who joined WayV ─ an international crime organization ─ for some extra cash as one of their hackers. But what happens when she gets mixed up in a lot more heavy stuff than only sitting behind a computer and disabling security cameras? Warning(s): angst? / use of guns / blood [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist]

I shake my head, guild in my eyes and hands trembling. “I... can’t, Jaehyun. I’m sorry, but I can’t betray him!” 

“WHY?! He’s a no-good...”, Jaehyun takes a step closer to me and my hold around the gun tightens.

“Don’t come closer, I’m going to shoot you!”

“... Filthy, hollow...” Jaehyun still walks closer with dark eyes. His jaw is clenched, just like his hands. Knuckles white as snow.

I take a deep breath and turn my head away, firing the gun. The clap back makes me stumble and I fall backwards. My back hits the wall harshly and I slide down.

“Motherfucker”, he whispers and clutches his chest. Jaehyun stumbles back before losing his balance and falling backwards, his breathing quivery and blood pouring out of the wound profusely, staining his blouse. 

At that exact moment, another person walks into the alleyway. I look up and curse realising it’s Doyoung. 

“You bitch!”, he growls as he sees his partner on the ground with a bullet wound in his chest. He raises the massive shotgun in his hands while pulling back the fore-end to reload, “I knew you couldn’t be trusted.”

He storms towards me while firing the gun, nearly all of them missing me. Except two. One pierces me through my dress into the flesh of my stomach and the other my shoulder. 

A scream escapes my lips and I buckle over, my hand towards my stomach and the other on the dirty ground for support. A pain far more painful than anything I have experienced. It feels like my inside gets ripped to shreds and then burned. 

Before Doyoung can get any closer, another gunshot is heard from behind him and he gets hit right through his skull, Doyoung’s blood splattering on me. He drops down and I focus on the person on the other end.

Kun runs towards me and drops down on his knees, grabbing me and bringing me closer to him. 

“Hey, hey, look at me. It’s going to be all right, okay?” Kun takes my hands and presses it against the wounds. “Press it nice and tightly, yes.” He gets up and takes me in arms, walking out of the alleyway and towards a car, stepping over bodies. 

He lays me on the backseat as Lucas steps behind the wheel. “Drive quick and call Ten, we need him”, orders Kun sternly and Lucas nods.

I lay my head to the side and blink a couple of times, my vision blurry. The only thing I want to do is just shut my eyes and sleep as I have not enough energy to keep away. 

I close my eyes, ignoring the muffled yells coming from Kun to stay awake. Right now I want to be selfish and just sleep. Yeah. Maybe if I sleep everything will turn out to be a dream. A really bad and fucked up dream

I open my eyes slowly. The first thing that greets me is a white ceiling. A groan erupts from my lips as I get aware of the pain in my body. My head hurts like a bitch. My left hand goes to my forehead and I feel the cotton of bandages. 

My brows furrow and I sit up. Only to be cursing slightly at the sharp pain in my shoulder and stomach. Oh right, last night. 

My eyes travel around the room and land on a sleeping figure in an armchair right by the window. It’s Kun, he looks tired despite his sleeping form. He has a five o’clock shadow, his hair is sticking out from all different sides, and his clothes ─ the same suit from the gala minus the jacket ─ look dishevelled and have dark stains on them. Not like the Qian Kun I’ve ever seen. 

Without making any sounds, I walk out of the bedroom. My body aches and my feet hurt, them also being in bandages. I must have stepped into some glass last night. 

I turn left and down a flight of stairs before I shuffle into the same living room I saw before, this time giving it a good look. It’s industrial, with dark tones and lots of woods. The scene outside the window gives me a perfect overview of Hong Kong. 

Next to the living room is the dining room and kitchen, all of course in the same style. The walls of the diner room are plastered with rows and rows of wine bottles. The kitchen is black and has all the new and high tech appliances. 

Two figures stand in the kitchen, Yangyang and Lucas. Lucas is cooking, Yangyang sitting on the countertop and scrolling through his phone. Most likely Twitter. The boy is addicted to the app. 

Lucas looks up from the frying pan as he hears me walking into the room. He almost drops the utensils, pure shock on his face. “(Y/n)”, he says lightly. 

Yangyang turns around with big eyes and jumps off the countertop, running towards me before engulfing me into a hug. “You’re awake!”

I let out a loud yelp and push him away, clutching my stomach. “Watch out, dumbass. I got shot, remember.” 

He apologises with a guilty smile before softly nudging me towards the kitchen island, making me sit there and wait for Lucas to plate up the food.

“I erm... for how long has Kun sat there?” 

Both the men look surprised. “Since when are you on first-name-basis with Qian?”, questions Yangyang, as he points with his thumb over his shoulder. A light blush spreads on my face. 

“We-well he asked me last night to call─”, I stutter out but Lucas cuts me off mid-way. 

“Excuse me? Last night? (Y/n), that was three days ago.” Lucas turns his full body towards me as he lays a plate full of food in front of me. 

Three days? Holy shit, the amount of schoolwork I’ve missed must be huge.

“How much blood did I lose?” I cock my head to the side, softly feeling the badges around my stomach and shoulder. 

“A lot, I guess? Kun wouldn’t let us go near you when Ten worked on your wounds.” Lucas shrugs as he moves around to grab more plates. 

I frown. “Ten? Is that...?” I stop and mimic someone putting a bag over my head.

“No, that was Winwin. He’s the one doing the kidnappings and interrogations. Ten is our doctor”, explains Lucas with a shake of his head. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been to hell and back? My body aches with every step I take and let’s not forget the bullet wounds. This is going to be a fun one for my therapist.” I roll my eyes and push some egg in my mouth. 

Yangyang sighs in relieve. “Thank God you’re alive. We had our doubts.”

I give Yangyang an ‘are-you-kidding’ look. “Sure, misses Doubtfire. You only worried because you had to find a new roommate if I were dead.”

“Yo- you really think I’m that heartless?” Yangyang fakes being hurt, earning a slight scoff from me.

I push myself off the chair, putting my empty bows in the sink. “I know you’re dead inside, YY, let’s not pretend otherwise. Shall I bring this to K-- ...Qian?”, I say, pointing to a bow with noodles still standing on the countertop. 

Lucas nods and without much talking, I scoop up the bowls and walk away, every now and then hissing in pain as I walk up the stairs. 

With a deep breath, I open the door to the bedroom slowly and peek my head in. A relieved sigh leaves my lips as I see Kun still sleeping. I place the bowl on the side table and softly squeeze Kun’s knee. 

“Kun? Wake up. Hey, Kun?”, I whisper and Kun’s eyes shoot open, jumping on his feet and pulling a gun out of nowhere. He holds the gun up and points it at my head. 

A shriek leaves my lips and I stumble backwards, tripping over the carpet and falling on the ground. I scramble away from the gun, memories of that night and three days ago flooding back. The panic coming back into my system.

My sigh narrows and all the horrible things flood in. The gun, a dead Jaehyun, the cold eyes of Kun, the pain of a bullet ripping through my skin. I pull my knees up and bury my face in it, my thick tears wetting the fabric of my sweatpants.

I feel two hands grabbing my shoulders and stroking it calmly, a shushing in my ear telling me to calm down. My hands act on their own and I let go of my knees, holding onto a shirt instead, my knuckles turning white.

“Hey, look at me. Look at me and everything will be fine.” I raise my eyes and look into a pair of dark brown ones. “Nobody can or will hurt you, you understand? Now take deep breaths until you feel all right again.” 

I do what the voice says and I stay like that for the next couple of minutes until my breathing slows down and my body stops shaking. I pull away and soft cotton wipes over cheeks, drying them from my tears.

I look up and see Kun looking at me with worry in his eyes. “Hi”, he whispers.

“Hi”, I whisper back, blinking at the alien way Kun acts. He’s normally so... hard and stoic, his eyes cold or filled with anger. But now, he’s warm and helping. His eyes are soft, almost comforting.

“I... I am sorry.” I let go of Kun’s crumpled up shirt. “I erm... I panicked at the sigh of... the gun.” The last part comes out of my mouth in almost a whisper, scared if I say those two words out loud, Kun will pull that devil’s device out of his pocket. 

“It’s okay, I understand. You’ve been through a lot. The only thing what helps is time. And maybe talking about it. I know a person who helped me a lot.”

I frown and look up to him. “Helped you?”

Kun nods and gestures next to me. I nod and scoot over, pulling my knees up to my nose, my interest piqued.

With a sigh, Kun lay his hands in his lab. “When I joined my old gang, I never dealt with the real deal before. Yes, I shot a gun and my father trained me in combat with both knives and my bare hands. But I never could fathom how my first mission in the field would go.” 

Kun stops, glancing at my side. I nod slightly and lean closer to him. His hair falls before his eyes and I swear, I can see a tear in the corner of his eyes. 

“My first mission was a bit like what happened to you. There was a car chaise, our car crashes and I ran away, a... gun in my trembling hands, ready to protect myself. The enemy had cornered me and I shot five men. Dead withing seconds. It felt weird, how much power I had over someone’s life with just such a silly thing.” 

The room is silent as I hang onto the story. It really sounds like a couple of days ago.

“The leader, he saw that I was struggling with what I’ve done and brought me to a psychiatric, so I could talk and work on my nightmares. She told me tips on how I could calm myself down when I had a panic attack.”

At that moment, for the first time since I’ve known Qian Kun, he seemed more than just a crime boss. At that moment, right there, he was human. He showed me a part nobody ever got to see of him. How human he truly is under his thick skin. In the end, he was just a twenty-something with demons just like every other person.

“Would you... would you like me to take you to her? Because I couldn’t forgive myself if your life is ruined because of me.” Kun turns away and lets his head hang low in shame. 

A sigh leaves my lips and I lean with my forehead on his shoulder. “I just... don’t want to do it alone, please?”

Kun lets out a warm chuckle. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let you do this on your own. Even if you wanted it.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

Where were you 3 hours ago? Right here in bed; sleeping.

Who are you in love with? No one.

Have you ever eaten a crayon? Nah, I wasn’t that kid.

Is there anything pink within feet of you? Yeah, a shirt.

When is the last time you went to the mall? A couple weeks ago.

Are you wearing socks right now? I’m always wearing socks.

Do you have a car worth over $2,000? I don’t have a car at all since I don’t drive.

When was the last time you drove out of town? I never have, personally, but the last time I went out of town was this past Wednesday.

Have you been to the movies in the last days? It was a couple weeks ago.

Are you hot? I’m not hot in terms of attractiveness nor am I currently hot temperature wise.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.

What are you wearing right now? Black pajama shorts with Baby Yoda print and a green t-shirt dress with a little Baby Yoda in the upper left corner and “The Mandalorian” written across the top on the back in all caps.

Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it? --

Last food that you ate? Ramen and half a bologna sandwich.

Where were you last week at this time? Right here in bed.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Yes.

When is the last time you ran? Uhhhhh.

What's the last sporting event you watched? I catch tiny bits here and there of the olympics when my dad is watching it, but I really have no interest in it.

What is your favorite animal? Dogs and giraffes.

Your dream vacation? I want to travel and do different things.

Last person's house you were in? One of my aunt’s house.

Worst injury you've ever had? The one that made me a paraplegic. 

Have you been in love? Yes.

Do you miss anyone right now? Loved ones who have passed away. Last play you saw? The Phantom of the Opera a few years ago.

What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Haaa, there’s nothing alluring about me.

What are your plans for tonight? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment? I have no idea, it’s been well over a decade since I’ve been on Myspace.  Next trip you are going to take? Hopefully, I’ll be going to the beach again sometime this upcoming week.

Ever go to camp? I’ve been to science camp and Girl Scout camp.

Were you an honor roll student in school? Yep, all throughout.

What do you want to know about the future? I don’t know to be honest because the future scares me.

Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Nope.

Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit? I see doctors regularly.

Where is your best friend? She’s still asleep.

How is your best friend? Stressed about some things, but doing okay.

Do you have a tan? Ha, so when I went to the beach last week of all places just the tops of both my hands got sunburned, which then turned into a tan. That’s all I got lol. I was sitting in a tent for awhile and I was wearing a jacket because where we were was pretty cold near the water (I loved it, though), plus I was wearing leggings, so I was covered except for my hands and I guess with my positioning the sun hit right on top of ‘em just right.

What are you listening to right now? An ASMR video.

Do you collect anything? Giraffe stuffed animals and knickknacks, key chains, pins.

Who is the biggest gossiper you know? Hmm.

Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over. Why? I’ve never been pulled over by the cops before. <<<

Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? I drink all my drinks with a straw.

What does your last text message say? I don’t feel like checking.

Do you like hot sauce? I loved hot sauces, but I can’t eat spicy stuff anymore. :( I can only handle the really weak stuff, like the ones you get from fast food places that only have less than 2% of anything spicy. I’ll take what I can get, though.

Last time you took a shower? A couple days ago.

Do you need to do laundry? No.

Are you someone's best friend? No.

Are you rich? Nope. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? I think I was coloring.

If you were an ice cream flavor what would you be? *shrug*

What Starbucks drink would you be? I don’t know.

If you could go to any college which one would you go to? I went and graduated college already, I’m good.

What's your favorite tv show at the moment? I have several.

Do you wish you lived in a different state/ city? Yes.

would you rather have chocolate ice cream or vanilla? Vanilla, for sure.

What's you best feature? Nothing.

Are you smart? I feel I’m just very average.

Are you stupid? I feel I am in some ways. Like, some of the things I do or don’t do I’m like, ‘wtf is wrong with you dumbass??’

Are you getting tired? It’s just now 9:02AM and I’ve only been up for less than an hour so I’m still feeling sleepy.

What's your name? Stephanie.

Age? 32.

Do you prefer to date people who are younger or older? Older.

What's most attractive about another person? Depends on the particular individual person, I’d say. <<<

What's your favorite food? Ramen, garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop, chicken tenders, over-easy eggs, especially with country gravy, pizza, spaghetti and meatballs, pesto pasta, bologna and turkey sandwiches, chips and dip...

Would you rather go on a one on one date or a group date? Both, it just depends. 

What's your fav. drink? Coffee, Coke, Cherry Coke, Pepsi, Wild Cherry Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, milkshakes, and Yoo-Hoo.

Can you dance? Nope.

What do you think of the word sex? Uhh.

are these questions random? Sure.

Do you own a pet? if so how many and what kind? Yep, I have a doggo. Oh, so here’s something interesting-- we always thought she was a German Shepherd and Lab mix, but according to this app my brother got that does a scan of a photo of your pet and then tells you their breed(s) she’s neither of those. It gave us 3 top breeds and I forget two of them, but one is Beagle. Another was Australian something or other, I’m not sure. Ugh, it’s going to bug me now, ha. But yeah, I was really surprised because we were so sure about her having German Shepherd and Lab in her.

Are you confident? I’m confident that I’m not.

Do you consider yourself attractive? Not even a little bit. 

Are you glad this is over? I wouldn’t say that. I felt like doing a survey and this one was fine.

[created by: delende]

[firesfelt]

afternoon, all ! finally getting my last ( for now... i already have Temptations ) intro up, and hopefully without a rushed ending because i suddenly have to do something lmao. while i’m not Wild about my intro graphics in general ( why does this one lowkey look stretched, for a start... ) but the fact that that ‘o’ is perfectly circling amanda’s eye ? an absolutely accident but *chef’s kiss* nonetheless. i’m writing this up while saving rp icons, so let’s see if i can multitask !!

( amanda seyfried, 30, cis woman, she/her ) AISLING O’CONNOR was seen listening to HAPPY BY LEONA LEWIS on their way to DIETICIAN. AISLING is known to be OPEN-MINDED & UNFORIGVING.

➜ so first thing’s first, aisling is pronounced ‘ash-ling’ ( or ash-lin depending on your accent/whether you drop your ‘g’s or not ) and although it would make my life so much easier when it comes to typing if she did, she really doesn’t take well to anybody calling her ‘ash’ ( i’m up for the challenge though ! give me someone in her life who can finally get away with shortening her name !! she doesn’t tolerate nicknames at all but can we change her ? let’s see ! )

➜ and with a name like aisling o’connor, i’m sure y’all really don’t need three guesses as to where she’s from. she was born in belfast, and is the oldest of six sisters -- all of them blonde, and all of them beautiful ( would it be obnoxious to submit wc’s for all of them ? possibly... will i do it anyway ? perhaps... ) she comes from a very family orientated family, so when her parents wanted to move the family out of ireland due to the conflict at the time, it wasn’t surprising that aisling’s aunt, uncle, and cousins came too, as well as her darling nanna. 

➜ aisling landed in huntsville at the age of six, but you best believe her accent is still just as prominent now as it was while running around belfast. as the oldest sister, she took on a lot of responsibility within the household, helping to raise the little ones with a roll of her eyes a each request, but also while being easily ignored. her parents were in no way neglectful, but with five smaller children to look after, their focus simply wasn’t on aisling.

➜ this meant that aisling fell through the cracks a little, and issues that began to surface as a teenager went unnoticed. while she never actually had a problem with her weight, teenagers can be wildly cruel and the societal pressures of looking a certain way can lead to young minds being warped, so aisling was very aware that she looked different to her peers. she was more... thicc/curvy/buxom, as a way to put it. 

➜ attention might not have been drawn to her body as much if her interests were different. aisling spent her childhood and teenage years in dance classes, drama workshops, and singing lessons, all with the goal of training in musical theatre and going on to become an actress. there was a certain body type that surrounded her, and it wasn’t one she possessed, herself. 

➜ it never became a problem, though, until she did go to college for musical theatre. her parents wanted all six of their girls to go to university, and they promised they’d pay what they could towards it as long as they went. they’d support any course, any major, just please go to university. however, aisling dropped out after two years. teachers, professors, agents, casting teams, they all  had something to say, something to critique, something to jab at, and it lead to aisling’s self-image crumbling to the point of severe unhappiness, and developing an unhealthy relationship with food. constantly being told to drop ten pounds, as one can imagine, had a pretty gnarly effect on her. 

➜ while she knew it would be possible to make it anyway, to prove the industry wrong, to make change, to represent different body types so young girls in the future don’t have to doubt themselves like she did, aisling decided her own mental health was both too fragile to do that, and more valuable than doing that. 

➜ i feel like i’m going on about this a bit too much lmao, so i’m gonna wrap it up a bit: she was able to recover from the disorded eating that formed as a result, and discovered a newfound passion about nutrition, and was able to care about it without obsessing. she really wanted to form new habits around food and body image, and realised that her perspective and beliefs actually went way back to childhood, and it then extended into wanting to help other people. eventually, aisling went back to school and studied to become a dietician, which she now is. she has a special interest in helping young woman recover from disorded eating patterns and develop a healthy relationship with food and their body, and stomping all over diet culture, but she sees all kinds of clients in general. 

➜ so life has obviously taken a very different turn for her, but she’s really kind of,,, okay with that at this point ? it is what it is, and that pathway really didn’t suit her. she didn’t have the skin for the industry --- or maybe the industry shouldn’t require her to have such thick skin, but it’s in the past now.

➜ also, p.s, i really don’t want it to come off like i think that there’s no place for women in theatre that don’t have sutton foster’s body, y’know ? that ain’t it !!!! it’s more,,, the absolutely ridiculousness of the pressure actresses have to look a certain way, esp. in theatre where if you’re not really slim, but you’re not big enough for roles like madame thernadier/tracy turnblad/nadia mcconell/martha dunstock/etc, there’s no place for you ? or people act like there’s no place. also don’t want it to come off bad in that,,, obviously at the end of the day, aisling is a thin woman that’s a bit,,, curvy ? like oh poor thin white woman ? that ain’t it, that isn’t what i’m trying to do jshsbss. d’you get me ? tryin to comment on how the industry can be a bit Shit, without making it out like little white cis women are the ones discriminated against. hopefully y’all get me sjhnbssbs

➜ also, when i was Creating aisling, i was originally going to make her older, and was gonna use keri russell, which is a Fun Time. i absolutely love keri though so don’t be surprise if i pop up with a keri fc later on down the line, lmao. 

➜ in terms of personality, i feel like the two traits i picked for her app are a little, like, contradictory in a way ? but i love characters with conflicting personality traits. she’s very open-minded, easy to talk to, very accepting, etc ( she’s kinda like a therapist in that when you talk to her, she’ll just kind of nod and not show any kind of,, Reaction either way, she’s just Observing until it’s her turn to speak. she’s just taking everything in and Receiving without judgement for the most part ) but when she’s personally hurt, in a way that directly impacts her ( usually related to her family, tbh ) there is,,, no forgiving. she’ll hear you out, and maybe be able to move on from it, but forgiveness for the big, big things is r a r e. 

➜ like how gwen is always sort of,, Faking happiness, i feel like aisling is always sort of chasing happiness ? she always wants to do what’s best for herself, and loves and respects herself deeply, so she’s always making the choices that are more likely to lead to long-term happiness, even if it bloody well hurts in the meantime ---- like giving up acting. 

➜ i feel like while emika is just a loner in general who can’t handle more than fwb situations and one night stands, and gwen doesn’t have the time to form proper relationships with people due to her shift work, aisling is just really, really unlucky in love. like, for whatever reason, things just don’t work out, or turn sour, or just... fall apart. there’s a long line of exes and flings, people she took home to her parents and people she thought it best not to, all of which ending in tears. 

➜ at least she has her bunny rabbits, though. they’ll never let her down. their names are sondheim & shwartz, and they are her pride and joy. 

➜ her family play a massive role in her life, and she doesn’t know any differently and wouldn’t want to. her nanna is, as you can imagine, really quite old at this point, and deteriorating health-wise, but the whole family band together to keep her well and try and keep her mind active.

➜ in terms of connections and plotting, again, i’m really open. i’m willing to give absolutely anything a go and try and work stuff out. i’m also always open to hearing ideas for plots people really want and seeing if any of my characters fit. but for loose ideas for now: failed relationships & exes ( there’s lots of room there ), clients ( definitely don’t have to have issues with food necessarily ! she also sees people for things like dietary restrictions due to allergy or recently diagnosed illness like diabetes or pcos or w/e, pregnancy, folks who just want to create a meal plan that makes their body feel its best, picky eating in kids, etc ! ) people she went to school with, other theatre-y folks to bond with, honestly absolutely anything.