#s/o to my friends in my dream for hooking me up with an angel

[the-ethereal-devotee]

My long list of f/o tags

hsr = honkai star rail. twst = twisted wonderland pjo = Percy Jackson and the olympians. htptflob = how to protect the female leads older brother btv = beware the villainess. htgmhoms = how to get my husband on my side

Romantic f/os: diavolo (obey me!) : my king~ Simeon (obey me!) : my lovely angel <3 Dazai (bungo stray dogs) : you drew stars around my scars~ Chuuya (bungo stray dogs) : anti-gravity…gay :p

Pavia (reverse 1999) : Ciao, Amore! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ Melissa (btv) : the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen~ Nine (btv) : my pretty wolfboy butler <3 Yuri (btv) : the great mage and my queen yuri (0////0)

vil schoenheit (Twst) : ♬mirror mirror on the wall~♬ carter dimond (Twst) : ♢split card!♢

———- Parents: Barbatos (obey me!) : can you help me with something, dad? Lilia (Twst) :  ⚠︎NO cooking from you!⚠︎    Trey (Twst) :  ♧More pastries, please!♧ Zhongli (genshin) : ✎how about a story?✎   

Roxana Agriche (htptflob) : mama, look a butterfly! cassis pedelian (htptflob) : papa! Can you play with me!

———— grandparents: Sierra Agriche (htptflob) : how about I read you this one next <3

———- Little siblings/like my child: Kailm (Twst) :  how about a carpet ride?ᴖᗜᴖ         Ortho (Twst) : ✧・₊ tech buddies・₊✧   Silver (Twst) :  ᶻz a insomniac and a Narcoleptic ᶻz Nico di angelo (pjo) : ☾⋆♬I’m necromancin~♬⋆☾

Qiqi (genshin) : ❀oh sorry I forgot again❀ Luke (obey me!) : 💕my son, I love you so 💕 Poltergeist (reverse 1999) : ♡my little one♡ Ruby (htgmhoms) : ❤︎‬my darling ruby❤︎‬

————- Older siblings: Levi (obey me!) : ⟡Gotta collect them all!⟡. Belphie (obey me!) : ᶻzsleepy buddiesᶻz  Satan (obey me!) : how about this story next… /ᐠ. .ᐟ\ฅ. Beel (obey me!) : best bro, how about we get food! :D. Asmo (obey me!) : time for a makeover~. Mammon (obey me!) : can you get me off the ceiling s/i  Lucifer (obey me!) : please get out of your office, Luci Malleus (Twst) : ⟡sweet dreams⟡ Deuce (Twst) :  ♡⊹˚₊ a past delinquent?₊˚⊹♡ Jade leech (Twst) : 𓋼𓍊mushrooms?mushrooms!𓍊𓋼 Floyd leech (Twst) : chaotic duo (  •̀ - •́ ) Azul (Twst) : 𓇼 Oh you poor unfortunate soul 𓇼

———— Friend f/os: jamil viper (Twst) : oh goodness, they got in trouble again  "( – ⌓ – )   idia shroud (Twst) : this is your set up, really?  >:0 epel (Twst) :apple, apple..dip, dip..wanna try it? albedo (genshin) : 🜸☆aroace science buddies☆🜸

clara (hsr) : ♡Mr. Svarog & s/i… are my family♡. hook (hsr) : pitch-dark hook the great!  arlan (hsr) : let me protect you now…(ง'̀-'́)ง X (reverse 1999): don’t worry, let’s have some tea

———— Comfort f/os: kirby (Kirby) : my baby puffball <3 waddle dee (Kirby) : my fluffy little boy >:D

———- frenemy f/os: Solomon (obey me!) : sketchy magician >:( 

[amiwritesthings]

welcome and masterlist

hi hello, ami here.

she/her. 30s. fanfic writer. proship. 18+ content. mostly discourse-free.

i post about: jdm. jackles. j3. j2. johndeanna (if I feel like it). other random tv shows that tickle my fancy.

my writing tag is #ami writes

this blog is shippy stuff only, you can find reader inserts here @call-me-ami

you can find info on commissions here

open commission slots: 0

i'm gonna teach you some french - jdm/jackles, j2, j3 - bdsm and all the shenanigans that come with it, polyamory (ao3 account required)

the wild side - jdm/jackles - a/b/o, dystopia, age difference, class differences

can't buy me love - jdm/jackles - escort!au, boyfriend experience, pining

daddy's little girl - john/deanna, a little sam/deanna - (some) underage, dark and possessive john

my name engraved on your heart - john/dean - underage, feelings, the one with the dog tags and the widow quote

playing with fire - dean/claire - demon!dean, moc!dean, power imbalance, dubious consent, size difference, age difference

when i dream (i'm doing you all night) - john/dean and john/dean/sam - it's all mostly filth

scratch my heart a little deeper - all other pairings, content in chapter description

low, low, low - jdm/jackles - friends with benefits, voice kink, dirty talk, frottage, oral sex (ao3 account required)

wisteria lane - j2 (background jdm/jackles) - AU-neighbors, cheating, size kink

love me like you do - jdm/jackles - daddy kink, praise kink, voice kink (ao3 account required)

master class - jdm/jackles - 2nd person pov, oral (lots and lots of it)

caught up in this rush - jdm/jackles - a/b/o, arranged mating, age gap, heat sex

figured you out - jdm/jarpad - anonymous hook-up, age difference, size kink, barebacking, bottom!jeff

after hours - j2 -bartender!jared, dancer!jensen, mild h/c, pining, frottage

en pointe - j2 - ballet dancer!jensen, director!jared, age difference, power imbalance, sexual favors, feminization

kings and queens - jensen/danneel - D/s undertones, powerplay, pegging, comeplay (ao3 account required)

let me lay you down - jeff/sam smith, jensen/sam smith - a/b/o, heat sex, mating

watch me get mine - john/deanna - exhibitionism, voyeurism, unsafe sex

there are worse things i could do - john/deanna - au, child abandonment, prostitution, accidental incest

even whiskey can't do (what you do when you kiss me that way) - john/dean - stanford era, first time, handjob, light daddy and praise kink

now nothing can take you away from me - john/dean - heaven reunion, porn with feelings

slow it down, heat it up - john/dean - stanford era, D/s undertones, instruction

hold me like nothing else matters - john/dean - stanford era, emotional h/c, comfort sex, praise kink, daddy kink

let me feel you - john/dean - stanford era, emotional h/c, cockwarming

bring me into shelter - john/dean - prescription drugs and alcohol abuse, minor injuries, oral

get a little closer - john/dean - love bites, frottage

(can't live) with or without you - john&dean - hunt gone wrong, vampires, consequences

tell me your heart will never change - dean/sam, john/dean - 2x02 everyone loves a clown, grief, secrets, angst

crawl all over you like a kudzu vine - dean/sam - teenchesters, somnophilia, kissing, sneaking around, handjobs

cool me down - dean/sam - bros boning in a motel pool

hush hush - dean/sam - bros boning at jody's house

only you and me - dean&sam - heaven, slice of life

your ghost still haunts me (let it burn) - dean/mary - coming back from the dead, trouble adjusting, confusion, parent/child incest

let our blood run one - dean/mary - lebanon, first time, grief, porn with lots of feelings

you don't have to be an angel - dean/mary, dean/mary/sam - drunk sex, double penetration, christmas

fix me (like i'm your favorite car) - dean&mary - car trouble, reading, recreational drug use, fluff

pieces of me - dean winchester/teen!amara - underage, manipulation, slight dubcon, size difference, age difference, p in v

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y��all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

[trenchcas]

episode origins p1

i was watching moriah earlier today and was wondering what the significance of the name moriah was, so i searched it up. i’ll explain it here in this. i wanted to learn which episodes have titles derived from pop culture, literature, etc. so i put together this list. it’s not complete, feel free to reblog with more!

why did i waste hours on my life on this, you ask? i don’t know. 

season 1

pilot: obviously, all the first episodes of shows are called pilots. nothing new here.

wendigo: they’re fighting a wendigo

dead in the water: the phrase means “unable to function, move”.

phantom traveler: the name of the demon they’re fighting

bloody mary: based off the legend

skin: shapeshifters, also there might be a meta about how it’s a metaphor for dean

hook man: they’re fighting a hook man

bugs: bugs

home: they go home

asylum: they go to an asylum

scarecrow: scarecrow

faith: the concept of god first comes into play here, i thought that was pretty interesting. that’s why it’s called faith, duh. dean + faith is explored.

route 666: racist truck yes

nightmare: sam’s visions

the benders: i think it’s based off of the bloody benders, a family of serial killers

shadow: meg’s stalkery?

hell house: it was literally a hell house

something wicked: originally chanted by WITCHES in shakespeare’s macbeth. the full line is “something wicked this way comes, open locks, whoever knocks”. obviously the shtriga is a witch and it refers to that.

provenance: painting provenances, it’s in the episode

dead man’s blood: they use dead man’s blood

salvation: being saved or protected, like the boys and john do with the family

devil’s trap: the devil gets them in a trap. and they built a giant devil’s trap too.

season two

in my time of dying: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

everybody loves a clown: based off of the gary lewis song [x]

bloodlust: i think it’s for the vampires but they were also a band in the 90′s

children shouldn’t play with dead things: based off of the 1972 movie

simon said: the whole “you do what i say” thing with andy and evil andy

no exit: it’s a song by blondie and in the episode h.h. holmes captures blondes...? am i just clowning

the usual suspects: based off of the 1995 movie

crossroad blues: based off of the robert johnson song (fave!) [x]

croatoan: i like this one. okay, so you guys probably know about the whole roanoke/croatoan thing in the 1600′s. so there’s a theory that the settlers were wiped out by a disease (similar to this town). also, the town would disappear off of the map.

hunted: gordon hunted sam

playthings: dolls, but the little girl was the grandma’s sisters plaything

nightshifter: a shifter in the night

houses of the holy: based off of the led zeppelin song and album [x]

born under a bad sign: based off of this song [x] there are a bunch of others including jimi hendrix but...?

tall tales: yeah i think this one is self explanatory

roadkill: someone got killed on the road

heart: werewolf heart but also how sam gave his heart to madison aww also there’s a band called heart

hollywood babylon: based off of the book by the same name

folsom prison blues: based off of the johnny cash song!! [x]

what is and what should never be: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

all hell breaks loose: yes it did

season three

the magnificent seven: based off of the pretty famous western go watch

the kids are alright: based off of the who song [x]

bad day at black rock: based off of the 1955 movie

sin city: there’s a bunch of songs but the city was sinning so

bedtime stories: they were bedtime stories

red sky at morning: the full phrase is “red sky at morning, sailors take warning”. with the theme of this ep it fits pretty well.

fresh blood: fresh blood yes

a very supernatural christmas: i’m not sure. i think it’s based off of a christmas album?

malleus maleficarum: a 1400′s book of witches. latin for “hammer of the witches”.

dream a little dream of me: i love this song! based off this: [x]

mystery spot: mystery spot

jus in bello: i can’t really explain it but here [x]

ghostfacers: g h o s t f a c e r s

long-distance call: long distance call

time is on my side: based off of the rolling stones song [x]

no rest for the wicked: a biblical quote that means “evildoers will face eternal punishment”. also, “one’s work never ceases”.

season four

lazarus rising: in the bible, lazarus is the righteous man, which makes dean the righteous man. and he rises. so. 

are you there, god? it’s me, dean winchester: based off of the judy blume book (maybe?), are you there, god? it’s me, margaret.

in the beginning: they go back in time

metamorphosis: with the rugaru but also sammeh

monster movie: monsters and movies

yellow fever: referring to the disease i think, but also there are a few songs

it’s the great pumpkin, sam winchester: based off of it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown.

wishful thinking: yeah

i know what you did last summer: dean + hell, sam + ruby. is it based off of the shawn mendes song? i don’t think it is because this came out way before the song.

heaven and hell: opposite sides meet, dean’s hell experiences.

family remains: there are remains

criss angel is a douche bag: idk?

after school special: based off of the abc program? i think?

sex and violence: there was a lot of sex. and violence.

death takes a holiday: death took a holiday

on the head of a pin: i’m not sure but this article is interesting, maybe related. probably related. [x]

it’s a terrible life: based off of it’s a wonderful life? i love that movie btw

the monster at the end of this book: ughhh! yes!!! first of all there’s a sesame street book by the same title. also, chuck actually was the monster at the end of the book! that’s crazy. insane. 

jump the shark: “(of a television series or movie) reach a point at which far-fetched events are included merely for the sake of novelty, indicative of a decline in quality.“ probably the whole long lost brother thing.

the rapture: a belief that christians will rise to “meet the lord in the air”. kinda like jimmy does.

when the levee breaks: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

lucifer rising: lucifer rose

season five

sympathy for the devil: based off of the rolling stones song [x]

good god, y’all!: cas goes to find god

free to be you and me: a marlo thomas album and the brothers split up

the end: yeah it’s the end

fallen idols: i think we get it

i believe the children are our future: a lyric from a whitney houston song

the curious case of dean winchester: based off of the short story, the curious case of benjamin button.

changing channels: channels were changed. the end.

the real ghostbusters: based on the 1985 animation

abandon all hope: the full phrase is “abandon all hope, ye who enter here” and that pretty much sums up this episode.

sam, interrupted: i’m not sure?

swap meat: meats were SWAPPED.

the song remains the same: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

my bloody valentine: based on jensen’s movie. but also the band?

dead men don’t wear plaid: based on the 1982 movie

dark side of the moon: a pink floyd album

99 problems: that one jayz song whatever

point of no return: a 1993 movie but also the poto song hehe

hammer of the gods: based off of the 1985 book i think? it’s about led zeppelin so probably yeah.

the devil you know: means that it’s better to deal with a situation you understand than one you don’t.

two minutes to midnight: this phrase is commonly used as a countdown to a global catastrophe (i.e. the fucking apocalypse)

swan song: someone’s final performance before retirement (i think this is about both brothers because it’s sam last battle and dean’s last fight before living with lisa)

season six

exile on main st.: based off of the rolling stones album [x]

two and a half men: it was a sitcom? but idk if that’s where it’s from

the third man: based off of the 1949 noir thriller? maybe? but there were also three men so idrk

weekend at bobby’s: it was a weekend at bobbys

live free or twi-hard: based off of twilight and that bruce willis movie that i watched once way back when

you can’t handle the truth: truth goddess. soulless sam gets exposed ig

family matters: based off of the 1989 sitcom? maybe

all dogs go to heaven: based off of the 1989 movie? probably

clap your hands if you believe: i think this is an original title idk

caged heat: based off of the 1974 movie i think

appointment in samarra: probably based off of the 1934 novel of the same name

like a virgin: based off of the madonna song [x]

unforgiven: sam does unforgiven things

mannequin 3: the reckoning: not sure

the french mistake: just... just read this link [x]

and then there were none: based off of the agatha christie novel of the same name

my heart will go on: y’all all know what’s up [x]

frontierland: they went to yeehaw town

mommy dearest: based on the 1981 film? maybe?

the man who would be king: based off of the 1888 novel by rudyard kipling

let it bleed: based off of the rolling stones album/song [x]

the man who knew too much: shares a name with the 1956 film

season seven

meet the new boss: they met the new boss idk

hello, cruel world: sad sam

the girl next door: there’s a 2004 romcom with the same name

defending your life: a 1991 romcom! wow!

shut up, dr. phil: sam and dean became philanthropists idk

slash fiction: hahahahaha i think we know what it means but wHY is it called that?

the mentalists: they met a bunch of magic people wow!

season 7, time for a wedding!: more like season 7, time for a slightly r*pey episode and GARTH!

how to win friends and influence monsters: based off of the 1936 book how to win friends and influence people

death’s door: they were at death’s door idk

adventures in babysitting: based off of the 1987 movie by the same name

time after time after time: based off of the cyndi lauper song? [x]

the slice girls: prolly based off of the spice girls idk

plucky pennywhistle’s magic menagerie: yeah idk

repo man: it’s a 1984 film too

out with the old: they were fucking around with antiques

the born-again identity: obviously based off of the bourne identity which i haven’t seen in forever

party on, garth: hahaha

of grave importance: it was very important

the girl with the dungeons and dragons tattoo: probably based off of the movie/book the girl with the dragon tattoo. 

reading is fundamental: reading is fundamental. go read a book.

there will be blood: there was blood

survival of the fittest: everybody fought idk

okay i’m gonna stop here for this one because i’m tired asf and i’ll do part 2 later 

[transgenderboobs]

bunch o’ tag games under the cut

tagged by @dykeangel​ !! ty emilie 

what was your last…

drink - jus woter 

phone call - my phone company

text message - dad

song you listened to - the fall by half alive

time you cried - last night watching jojo rabbit 

have you ever…

dated someone twice - kind of?

been cheated on - not to my knowledge 

lost someone special - yes? i mean not like they died but people have like. left my life u know

been depressed - lmao

gotten drunk and thrown up - Yes. :|

in this year, have you…

made a new friend - Yes ! 

fallen out of love - no

laughed until you cried - Yes. do this a lot in the horny for worms chat

met someone who changed you - u mean like in these 3 months of 2020? no

found out who your true friends are - idk??? i mean i like to think i KNOW already

kissed someone on your facebook list - lol no

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life - like.....most of them.

do you have any pets - yes!!!!!! i have two cats and two dogs

do you want to change your name - yes. i just have to find one that feels right and then go about making the Effort to actually change it

what did you do for your last birthday - i just like. went out for dinner and ice cream

what time did you wake up - like. noon

what were you doing at midnight last night - watching jojo rabbit!!!!!!!

what’s something you can’t wait for - this pandemic to end so i can finally go the fuck to germany

when was the last time you saw your mum - new years eve

what are you listening to right now - nuffink babe

have ever met a person named tom - don’t think so

what’s something that gets on your nerves - my school’s admin giving me Useless info about this pandemic sitch re: my thesis/graduation

what’s your blood type - absolutely no clue. i asked my parents and they don’t know either. it’s a mystery

nickname - prem is a nickname

relationship status - obviously i’m married to daisy tonner sorry ladies ;)

zodiac sign - aquarius

pronouns - they/them

fav tv show - the good place!!!!!!!!!

tattoos - many. got some pics of a few of them in my tattoo tag

right or left handed - right

first…

surgery - none. well i had to be put under anesthesia  once so they could do some weird shit to my teeth cuz i had this nasty infection but idk if that counts

piercing - ears babey

best friend - her name was kalea we stopped talking when i was like 6 or 7 and she recently added me on fb again

sport - LOLLLLLL ME PLAYING A SPORT???? LMAO I HAVE TO LAUGHHHHHHHH

vacation - hmmmm i think going to texas to see my dads family just before my parents got divorced 

pair of trainers - what the fuck are trainers

right now…

eating - nothing

drinking - nothing? water?

i’m about to - get up and make some coffee

listening to - nothing

waiting for - nothing

want kids - NO NEVER

get married - yes bitch !

career - i just want to lie on a hot rock under the sun for several hours of the day 

which is better…

hugs or kisses - both

lips or eyes - eyes

shorter or taller - either would be excellent 

older or younger - don’t care as long as they’re close enough to my age 

romantic or spontaneous - romantic

nice arms or nice stomach - no preference

sensitive or loud - either. both

hook up or relationship - relationship

trouble maker or hesitant - trouble maker

have you ever…

kissed a stranger - i wanna say no but i was a god damn lunatic in high school so it’s possible 

drank hard liquor - Yes a lot

sex on the first date - never been on a date. but i have had s*x with someone after only knowing them for like 5 hours day so

broke someone’s heart - I THINK I DID BUT I DIDNT NOTICE TILL LIKE TWO YEARS LATER

had your heart broken - yes.

been arrested - yes.

cried when someone died - never really known anyone who died besides relatives i’d met maybe once in my life at max, so. n/a

fallen for a friend - i only wanna smash my bros bro

do you believe in…

yourself - eeehhhhhh

miracles - eeeEEEHHHHH

love at first sight - no.

santa claus - no

kiss on the first date - sure !

angels - no

-

tagged by @paintedvanilla​ !!! thank

instructions: tag 10 followers that you wanna get to know sorry

name: just prem

nicknames: prem is a nickname :3c

gender: oh no thank you i’m ok

star sign: aquarius

height: 5’9″ (OR exactly 69 inches or 175 cm)

sexuality: dyke

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

fave animal: i like owls and cats

average hours of sleep: god. who knows. not enough

current time: 12:30pm lads

dog or cat person: i mean i love them both but i think i’m a cat person

blankets you sleep with: just my comforter 

dream trip: @ MY SCHOOL JUST LET ME DO MY STUDY ABROAD TRIP TO GERMANY........

dream job: see above

when I made my blog: january 2014

followers: 3798

why i made a tumblr: god who remembers why i did anything in 2014. a bitch was still in high school in 20fucking14

reason for my url: no god damn genders allowed in this fucking house hold thank u Very much

-

rules: hit shuffle and list the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people

tagged by @d-quintana​ and @the1975bi​ !!! ilu guys 

ghost - halsey

firefly - breaking benjamin

monster - paramore

i write sins not tragedies - p!atd

broken open - cold war kids

brick by boring brick - paarmore

wild heart - bleachers 

this is gospel - p!atd

don’t stop - innerpartysystem

cliff’s edge - hayley kiyoko

the love club - lorde

anyone else but you - moldy peaches

curse - imagine dragons

west coast - coconut records 

lemon to a knife fight - the wombats

would that i - hozier

killer - the ready set

headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet - fob

snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers - fob

bad side of 25 - patrick stump

[adz]

hi here is my albums of the year list for 2019. i will also put it below under the break. happy nu year friends

ALBUMS I LOVED

Big Thief - U.F.O.F. & Two Hands This band has something so special. It's almost as enjoyable to hear Lenker, the primary songwriter, talk about her philosophy and her connection to her bandmates as it is to listen to their consistently wonderful and gently boundary-pushing music. I've combined these two albums into one list item because they're flip sides of the same coin: spirit and earth, ethereal and corporeal, unknown and known. If you've heard their earlier two albums, you might be put off a little: there aren't any smash hits like Masterpiece on here, nor any doomed ballads like Shark Smile. These albums are a little blurrier, shadows and gleaming bits of light floating past. At times the songs sound less like early Big Thief than they do Adrianne's solo releases: lyric focused, strange sprawling structures, a bit rougher around the edges. At these records' cores, though, the soul is the same true soul. On U.F.O.F., there are sadness-tinged love songs like Orange and an ode to a dead relationship or dead loved one, Terminal Paradise, recut from Adrienne's solo discography. On Two Hands, rollicking rockers like Forgotten Eyes and the titular track nestle up against the tender and painful Wolf and a live staple for the band, Not, a song that builds momentum and tumbles towards its conclusion like a meteor. Whether you're a devoted fan (and I don't know anyone who listens to Big Thief but doesn't consider themselves one) or a newcomer, it's worthwhile to spend some time close to these records. Let them, and they'll grow on you.

Kim Petras - TURN OFF THE LIGHT Easily the best collection of club pop songs this year began as a Halloween-themed mixtape, which I think gives it a willingness to experiment that I sometimes miss in Petras's more standard stuff. The hooks on tracks like There Will Be Blood, Close Your Eyes, and Tell Me It's a Nightmare are as good as anything in her discography, and the most adventurous moments, like the interlude o m e n and the German verse in In the Next Life, not only pay off but fuck harder than basically anything I've ever heard. I would be remiss if I didn't mention that Dr. Luke was one of this record's producers. The fact that he gets a cut of every stream and sale is a terrible blemish on what would otherwise be a huge favorite of mine.

Sufjan Stevens & Timo Andres - The Decalogue A forceful, sometimes opaque album. Delicate and opinionated piano music for ballet. One moment of particular transcendent beauty: the track V.

Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising A 10/10, perfect, totally wonderful album. A ton of variety and not a single bad song. By turns upbeat, dreamy, contemplative, creepy, explosive. One of the most beautiful and evocative album covers of the year to boot.

Andrew Bird - My Finest Work Yet I appreciate Andrew Bird's esoteric trips and darkly introspective weirdness, so it surprised me how much I enjoyed this: a bouncy, ascerbic, and delightful return to form packed with ironic turns of phrase and endlessly engrossing little musical details. Bloodless is a legit political statement, a State of the Union address that is somehow equal parts ominous and encouraging. Sisyphus is freewheeling and also political, a common thread here. My favorite is Manifest, a disco-inflected ode to fossil fuels. You could blast it and joyfully sing along without ever realizing how apocalyptic it is.

Nivhek - After its own death / Walking in a spiral towards the house Moody, spacious, and minimalist. Lovely and meditative.

M83 - DSVII A world all of its own. Cinematic, strange, and cheesy. I really appreciate M83's willingness to do absolutely whatever they want when they could easily have made a career pandering to fans of Midnight City and selling songs to car companies. DSVII is spacious and upbeat, steeped in the memory of 70s space western epics. Flutes, pianos, and shimmering picked guitars float over crashing post-rock drums and synths ranging from contemplative sweeps (Mirage) and buzzing pads (Colonies) to swelling vox (Taifun Glory) and precise, retro little bleeps (Oh Yes You're There, Everyday). It's wonderful background music, and the choice tracks (Temple of Sorrow, Mirage, Hell Riders) are great fun and even occasionally thrilling. This album is easy to love.

Thom Yorke - Anima Detuned synths lying motionless in a cold desert fading in and out of life

Foxes in Fiction - Trillium Killer A swirling dream-pop masterpiece. I had the privilege of seeing Warren perform some of these songs earlier this year, and I felt totally transported, like I was physically present in the green holographic world of his back-stage projections. These songs are complex and really special, crafted with care and an ear highly attuned to odd harmonies and little additive details. I love the way stories and thoughts weave together across the album. The catchy, gently swelling music is a brilliant compliment for the lyrics, which are often dark and intense, blurring the political and personal on songs like Say Yes to Violence and Antibody. Aesthetically, this album is a delight, but there's so much depth beneath its glimmering surface. What a wonderful addition to Foxes in Fiction's powerful and lovely discography.

Xiu Xiu - Girl with Basket of Fruit Xiu Xiu always makes me smile. This album is dense and abrasive and very lyrics-forward. Jamie Stewart sounds fucking pissed and I love it. The beats are quick and unrelenting: samples of Haitian drummers led by musician Daniel Brevil. I also can't get over the fact that Angela Seo published her favorite and least favorite lyrics from each song. Jamie wrote this about the record's title, which references Caravaggio's painting Boy with a Basket of Fruit: "When this title is a boy it is fey and lovely. When it is a girl is worrisome and rife with danger. Male martyrs are almost always surrounded by nurses, their mothers, adoring angels and other loving disciples wrapping their crushed and holy bodies in strips of herb soaked cloth and weeping rapturously. Female martyrs are almost always depicted having their skin flayed, breasts branded or ripped off with tongs or being stabbed and they are always, always alone save for her murderers. There is never anyone by their sides celebrating their spiritual life, only fiendishly reveling in their torture of her. It is perilous to be a 'girl.'"

Bats - Alter Nature I was shocked to find out these guys have been around for 10 years. This sounds like an album by a young band, which I mean as a compliment: it's energetic and rough and a little uneven in parts in ways that I enjoy. The sound is either especially intense but poppy post-punk or kind of gentle hardcore. I think there's a lot of crossover potential between those two fan bases here. Their attitude is what I love more than anything else. I don't know how to describe it exactly. It feels like the band are willing to go to weird, sarcastic places and then quickly snap back to sincerity and brutality, often multiple times in one song. I'm not much of a hardcore fan, but I almost wish they'd spent a little more time with that sound: my favorite parts on this record are the heavier bits like the end of Current Affairs.

Olivia Neutron-John - Olivia Neutron-John This album sounds like if you trapped a musique concrete artist in a timeless hell with a couple drum machines and synths for a millenium and then poked a hole in the wall and recorded what came out. Really fun and uncomfortable. I do still think the best format to experience ONJ is in her like 20-minute rambling dance tracks, like 2017's Injury Train.

Liturgy - H.A.Q.Q. A lot of people really despise Liturgy, and if that's the case for you, this album probably won't change your mind, but for what it's worth, it's a little more accessible than their synth-horn-heavy black metal midi extravaganza of a previous album The Ark Work. H.A.Q.Q. does contain weird, tonally distinct interludes (the EXACO trio of tracks) between its transcendental metal pillars, but they're the rare interludes that go beyond merely cleansing the palette and setting the mood for whatever follows. EXACT III especially is a bright and emotionally complete unit. What we're really here for is the metal, though, and this album delivers like nothing Liturgy has released before. Composer/singer/guitarist Hendrix's melodies are unique and beautiful, the riffs and blastbeats are tight, and the stuttering glitches that break up dense passages are welcome even when they're really surprising. HAJJ, PASAQALIA, GOD OF LOVE, and HAQQ are all monster tracks, but the whole album is well worth your time. The lead single, GOD OF LOVE, is a great place to start. This is definitely, easily my favorite black metal album of all time, and probably my favorite metal album full stop.

Blood Orange - Angel's Pulse Dev Hynes' mixtape is by turns propulsive and relaxing, softspoken and hardheaded. It's brilliant and beautiful and although it's not too long, each song is given ample room to breathe. I wish other artists were as effective at utilizing guest artists (some tracks here have three guests, and Hynes is able to manage their time well enough that there's no feeling of bloatedness or a lack of cohesion). I love this album. It might be my favorite thing Hynes has ever done. Listen to: Take It Back, Berlin, Dark & Handsome

Toro y Moi - Outer Peace Chaz's album Boo Boo was one of my favorite albums of 2017, but because it wasn't chillwave enough or whatever, people didn't seem to give it a fair shake. That seems to be the case with Outer Peace, too: it's less of a single unit than Boo Boo and contains more danceable content, but it's a little too moody and eccentric to win over fans of Anything In Return, Chaz's basically perfect 2013 opus. (As a side note, his mixtape Soul Trash, which also came out this year, is good fun too.) Anyway, Outer Peace feels kind of like a more accessible extension of Boo Boo. Parts of it still feel like a deranged early-morning exercise program on college radio, which I like. Try some of the lighter stuff first: Fading, Ordinary Pleasure, and Freelance.

Opium Lord - Vore No genre has better subgenre descriptors than metal. This is a black sludge album, and that's pretty much all you need to know.

Mid-Air Thief - Crumbling Okay so this album technically came out in 2018, but it had a wide release this year on Topshelf Records with like four different wax colors, and also I only found out about it early this year, and I need to spread the word about one of the most delightful, fun, and beautiful albums I've ever heard. On Crumbling, organic strums and synthetic trills form a deeply engaging tapestry. I love every second of it. Combining sounds in this way totally qualifies as left-field experimental shit just because It Seems Like Nobody Else Is Doing It For Some Reason (except I guess Floating Points, see SOTY), but the music itself is actually really accessible. This is what pop music should sound like! We have the technology!! Please listen to this album. Dirt and Gameun Deut are my favorites at the moment, but you honestly can't go wrong.

Angel Olsen - All Mirrors Olsen's gotten grander. Her ballads are longer and involve strings and synthesizers and beat machines. The soul feels the same to me, though. Songs like the title track are powerful and emotive and showcase not just her vocal range but a new range of sonic experimentation that I think complements her songwriting really well. For those who aren't on board with the 7-minute ballads, there are also more lighthearted tracks like Too Easy and Spring. I knew that Chance reminded me of a specific song, but I couldn’t think of the name until I read something by a person named Grimelords about how it’s like her version of Sinatra's My Way. That’s exactly what it’s like.

Girl Band - The Talkies Shoulderblades is an ugly, mammoth, multi-part story. Brilliant genreless repetition like in album opener Prolix and at the end of Couch Combover. Amygdela sounds like if early Preoccupations was fronted by someone undergoing torture whilst also muttering at their withdrawal hallucinations. The vibe here is complex. It's a very consistent album, but the collection of sounds and attitudes is really unusual. Caveat is a great example: a simple beat and twitching synth line turns into a lumbering mess of distortion-and back again, whenever it decides to-at will.

0 Stars - Blowing on a Marshmallow in Perpetuity Timid singing, odd titles, and every-instrument-in-the-room textures on this album belie depth and a very warm heart. "even though my dog barked at a baby, i won't tell her 'no' cause that's just the way she deals with being scared and sometimes i get scared too, and it's bad enough without the shame when i mess things up and you don't come over, i go to the kitchen and eat leftovers just because i'm sad doesn't mean it is fair to depend on you when you're sad too"

(Sandy) Alex G - House of Sugar With Gretel—the best song of the year—as its lead single, House of Sugar set an impossibly high expectation. Although Gretel is certainly a high point on the album, there are many more: Hope is inconspicuous but beautiful, honest, and cathartic, SugarHouse is a devastating jam, and Southern Sky whirls comfortingly from a rose-tinted verse into a chorus supposedly inspired by a dream and tinged with sadness. All but one of these songs are under 4 minutes long, but they're packed with conflict between abstract and concrete lyrics, beauty and strangeness. It's Alex G, so don't be surprised by the unexpected and often outright weird electronic flourishes and transitions throughout the record, but if you can handle its irregularities, this is easily one of the most fresh-sounding and enjoyable albums of the year.

Emily Reo - Only You Can See It A bright, fun, and beautiful album full of bouyant vocals and strange twists and turns. Although I deeply love the poppy stuff here (like the anthemic single Strawberry), my faves are the slower, darker, vaguely occultish songs: Ghosting, Counterspell (a shimmering sequel to 2016's Spell, one of the best songs of the year), and In Theaters, which is one of those songs that builds and builds and then has the most satisfying payoff. It might be my favorite ending of any album this year. I hope you check this one out. Emily is the coolest and this album rocks.

Chromatics - Closer To Grey Of course this came out in October. Chromatics is the only band that is allowed to use canned vinyl hiss. The first song on this record is a Sound of Silence cover and it is amazing.

Mizmor - Cairn I try to approach new music without giving too much thought to the circumstances of its creation, but something about the idea of a mythical lone individual painstakingly crafting beautiful layered music appeals to me, whether it's Phil Elverum of Mt. Eerie, Sufjan Stevens, or this: Mizmor, some dude from Portland, OR making sick, dense black metal. Cairn is a slow, doomy, cinematic album, and maybe these qualities make it easier to notice the incredible attention to detail on individual riffs or little instrumental passages. My favorites were Cairn to God and The Narrowing Way

Laura Agnusdei - Laurisilva Lounge music from hell. Twin Peaks-y saxophone glides over squishy synthetic beats. Lungs Dance sounds like a block of jello having a nightmare. In all seriousness, this is an ingenious and very unique album and I enjoy it a lot. A lot of music I listened to this year attempted to merge organic and synthetic sound in a way that emphasises their similarities. Here, synthetic sounds and recognizable voices/samples/sax & flute riffs are juxtaposed, and the rift is never bridged. And it's weirdly comfortable. This is the most acidic of acid jazz. And honestly, I just really like how wet the synths sound.

~~~~~

SONGS I LOVED (singles for albums that i think outshone the album OR songs that were released not as part of an album OR just songs i heard and enjoyed. this will hopefully prevent me from including an album i don't actually love just because i really dug one song on it)

Arthur Russell - You Did It Yourself Iowa Dream is a great collection of Russell's more accessible unreleased work. You Did It Yourself in particular is such a perfectly weird, groovy almost-pop song, a reminder that Russell was as talented a writer of hooks as he was a mastermind of electroacoustic experimentation. To explore his other side, check out another of his posthumous releases from this year, Not Checking Up.

MGMT - In The Afternoon A gothic post-punk masterpiece that sort of follows from their excellent 2018 album Little Dark Age. This is MGMT's best era ever. My most-anticipated-2020 list is basically MGMT and Owen Pallett's Island. And probably one or two more Big Thief records.

Floating Points - Falaise Floating Points' 2019 album Crush consists mostly of Aphex-Twin-y glitch-beat tracks that occasionally push towards something really interesting and unique. It's a great album, but the organic instruments on opener Falaise set you up brilliantly for an organosynthetic payoff that never arrives.

Honey by Drugdealer/Weyes Blood okay, Lonely on the same album is fun, if a little silly. Lost In My Dream is also totally decent, and Fools is kind of a bop... actually, this whole album, while not totally my cup of tea, is great. If you like 70's-disco-inflected (like, Bee Gees) retro rock, sweet vocal harmonies and guitar licks, and a few indulgences (like saxophone), you'll totally dig this record. I'm gonna spend some more time with it. Honey fucks especially though imo

Everything All at Once - G Jones Something about this song just scratches an itch in my brain. The rest of this album is basically dubstep, and it all sandwiches this one beautiful little song. Better not to question life's gifts.

Perfume Genius - Eye in the Wall Sandunes & Landslands - Eleven Eleven James Blake - Barefoot In The Dark new grimes unfortunately Deafheaven - Black Brick

~~~~~

Honorable Mentions/stuff i like but other people would probably love

Kim Gordon - No Home Record An experimental (but comfortably modern) record by the 66-yr-old Gordon, best known as a multi-instrumentalist/vocalist in Sonic Youth, a band I occasionally appreciate but can't say I love. Parts of No Home Record are noise rock-y, like Murdered Out, and others totally defy comprehension: Paprika Pony seems to have the most buzz surrounding it, which makes sense since it features both a kalimba and a trap beat. Really not a resting-on-laurels type of album. I wish more iconic older musicians made shit like this.

Pharmakon - Devour The rare album that makes me forget about my tinnitus. A dense cloud of distortion and sharply biting microscopic needle creatures that settle around your shoulders and block out all light. Fucking awesome. Listen if you enjoy oppressive painfully pulsing sound textures of industrial noise blanketing completely incoherent screaming.

clipping. - There Existed an Addiction to Blood This is a tough one for me because there are things about this album I can't stand, but many more things I absolutely love. The inventiveness of the production on Run for Your Life, Daveed's absurdly skilled delivery on Blood of the Fang, the harsh noise and musique concrete combining delightfully with rap on songs like La Mala Ordina; all of this is extremely exciting. I really love the last track Piano Burning, an 18-minute recording of, yes, a piano burning. The thing is, clipping.'s lyrical content is more or less the same here as on 2013's Midcity mixtape. It's ultra-violent, filled with graphic descriptions of gang violence and torture, which is fine, but just not something I'm that interested in listening to more than once or twice. They've branched out elsewhere (on their previous album, Splendor & Misery, and on the recent EP The Deep), but to me, it's unfortunate that this super cool and thoughtful album is lyrically (at least, on the surface) just a collection of descriptions of people being murdered. I don't really have any interest in reading more into it than that, because I regret pretty much every time I try to pay close attention, either because it's gross and boring or because it's embarrassing (The Show, for example). I want to emphasize that as horrorcore goes, the writing here is mostly very good. The rhyme patterns like at the beginning of Story 7 are genius. It's just not for me, I guess. I'm gonna keep listening to a few songs, though: Nothing is Safe, La Mala Ordina, Run for Your Life, and Blood of the Fang are excellent.

Field Whispers - Fire-Toolz The Warm-Body is a great song. Hyphen- (and parenthesis-) heavy vapor/pc music/new age/ambient jazzy synth stuff. really nice.

Caroline Polachek - Pang every r/indieheads dude: i like slide guitar now probably the best vocal performance of any album I heard this year, Polachek is just ludicrously good. listen to Insomnia

Danny Brown - uknowhatimsayin¿ When most artists release an album of outsized acclaim, you can with some certainty expect them to mimic its acclaimed qualities later on in an attempt to reach the same level of success. Danny Brown is not most artists, though, and no one who knows him would count on a retreading of the ground covered in Atrocity Exhibition, Danny's nearly perfect 2016 album. uknowhatimsayin¿ is more lighthearted and, I think, a little less ambitious (it's 13 minutes shorter, with more consistent track lengths; there's no "Really Doe"), but not to its detriment. The features are less head-turning than AE (up-and-comers JPEGMAFIA and Obongjayer, the understated genius Blood Orange, and Run the Jewels, the most overrated act in hip hop), but they all fit in neatly. Tracks like Belly of The Beast and Negro Spiritual prove Danny could still rap over a washing machine or musique concrete or fucking whatever. The lyrics are less dense, the beats less experimental and strange, but the lighter energy is kind of nice. Atrocity Exhibition could've lost three or four tracks, but this album feels juuuust right.

HTRK - Over the Rainbow Soft, ambient, moody. Reminds me of William Basinski's Watermusic II, but this album is less repetitive and a little less weird. It's background music for people who hate background music. It's delightful and ignorable. Very nice.

Blarf - Cease & Desist Shockingly decent plunderphonics/noise album from Eric Andre, who it must be pointed out attended one of the most prestigious music colleges in the world.

Ryan Lott - Pentaptych Beautiful, prickly modernist string compositions.

Cereal Killer - The Beginning & End of Cereal Killer Empath - Active Listening: Night on Earth Ithaca - The Language of Injury Mannequin Pussy - Patience Swan's Chamber - Swan's Chamber Avey Tare - Cows on Hourglass Pond Men I Trust - Oncle Jazz Charli XCX - Charli Black Midi - Schlagenheim Michael Kiwanuka - Kiwanuka Methyl Ethyl - Triage Bill Callahan - Shepherd in a Sheepskin Vest Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center Twin Peaks - Lookout Low Holly Herndon - Proto Laurel Halo - DJ-Kicks Earl Sweatshirt - Feet of Clay Nihiloxica - Biiri Wet Fruit - Wet Fruit

Best mix: Night Bus 4: Memory of Night Bus by CFCF When Hyperballad hits, you will understand. http://www.gorillavsbear.net/cfcf-drops-night-bus-4-memory-of-night-bus

Best album name:

Gross Net - Gross Net Means Gross Net.

Answers my foremost question immediately.~~~~~

A halfhearted AOTD list, in order this time

1-The Age of Adz

2-Heartland

3-Entrañas

4-The Money Store

5-Channel Orange

6-Planetarium

7-Ontario Gothic

8-Konoyo+Anoyo (this is cheating but whatever)

9-Carrie & Lowell + Greatest Gift (also cheating idc)

10-My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

thanks for reading. the world is abundant.

[rxsewatcr]

KIM YUGYEOM, MALE, HE/HIM — It looks like FINCH HWANG just clocked in for their shift at APPLE. From what we know the 24 year old has been working here for 5 YEARS and is praised by customers for being GENEROUS & COMPASSIONATE, however their co-workers have noticed that on a bad day they can be CLOSED-OFF & AGITATED. I’m sure they’d hate for people to know [ REDACTED ]. 

hello there my loves! my name is skye and i write for the lovely finch hwang here and am super excited to meet you all and your lovely muses ♡ ♡ just a little bit to know about me; i go by she/her pronouns, hail from the CST timezone, and have absolutely zero triggers ― with that in mind, let me now introduce you to my boy here~! ( p.s. you can reach me on my discord @ h o n k s i n s w a h i l i#8001 )

* note: finch holds an incredibly illegal secret, which he absolutely refuses to discuss with others to the inevitable detriment of his mental health. when it comes to ooc, feel free to ask me what it is, i’ll be more than happy to share! however, in ic muses will not know whatsoever. i am hardly opposed to it being discovered by others, though such will most likely occur through the gossip blog at some point and/or plotted out specifically. cheers loves ♡ 

― * 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭.

full name; finch hwang

nicknames; birdbrains, tweety

age; twenty-four [24]

birthday; february 4, 1995

birthplace; bluevalley, vermont

gender; male

orientation; biromantic / bisexual

s/o status; single

occupation; apple technician

― * 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥.

fc; kim yugyeom

hair; dark brown

eyes; chocolate

height; 6′2″ ft

build; well-proportioned, tall and lean with a bit of muscle to him

marks/scars; a few on his knees from childhood

tattoos; n/a

piercings; multiple in his ears / conch, helix, upper/lower lobe

― * 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥

label; the illusory

myers briggs; enfp

house; slytherin

religion; agnostic

enneagram; the helper

big five; agreeableness 

chronic; n/a

fears; his mother dying, being laid off from work

― * 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭.

WARNING; mentions of cancer, illness

first and foremost; finch takes the term genius to an entirely new level ― with an IQ of 148, and earning his MENSA card at only 8, it wasn’t often that he went without some sort of attention from both his peers and simple strangers. from a 'small’ town no less, finch was the pride and joy for his mother, having raised him as a single parent following the death of his father when he was 7 months old

finch was one of the lucky ones, known as the gentle giant to many and making friends out of most ― his friendly demeanor and eagerness to help others earned him a spot as one of the most popular kids in town, school being a breeze and instead dedicating his time to assisting others, no matter if it was homework they trifled over or something else

he was something of a legend, far ahead in not only reading level but what seemed to be everything else as well ― finch passes the state level tests with eagerness, graduating high school at the bristling young age of 15. adventurous and willing to do whatever it took, he plans ahead and manages to win over the admissions board at harvard, quick to leave the confinements of vermont with dreams of grabbing the world by its horns and making it his

and for a time, it seems he might do just that ― entering into the most prestigious school in the united states, he essentially picks a major at random with high hopes in knowing that if anything, he can always change focus or get another BS if he wanted to. computer science becomes his focus, and 4 years later he walks out in full cap and gown with a million dollar smile on his face, eyes set on the horizon, and a duel bachelor’s and master’s degree tucked under his arm

and right as finch is about to set off on the adventure of a lifetime, everything goes to shit

he remembers it like yesterday, finding himself on a plane back to bluevalley rather than california. a simple illness they say, but when he arrives he soon finds it to be so much more ― signs of early dementia and an aggressive bone cancer suddenly flood the reality of his mother’s life, acting as a slap to the face for finch that makes him realize time was hardly on his side

but he’s a mamma's boy, and he promises to never leave her side even when his hopes and dreams call to him from across oceans and she can barely recognize his face. for once, he’s faced with the mortality of not only her life, but his own ― the medication used to treat her is expensive, and while he could afford it if he sought a higher status of occupation, he refuses to disappear a second time

still, he manages to snag the highest paying job he can find as a technician at the nearby Apple store, residing in the same mall he had wandered through as a child. the pay was better than most, covered the taxes just fine, but at the end of the day it was barely enough to make the medical bills disappear until the next one came rolling around. finch was up to his head in stress, back breaking with the crushing reality that he might fail not only himself, but his mother

and like some sort of a twisted saving grace, an acquaintance of the male introduces him to the dark web.

it goes entirely against finch’s morals, everything he’s ever stood for good and true...and yet, he can’t see a way out. information broker peers at the male from his laptop screen, and yet he knows it is so much more. it amazes him just how much the simplest of things, such as a password or an address, sell for huge prices ― and almost as quickly as he discovers it, finch is diving headlong into the only solution to the mess of his life he can find.

he only hopes he’ll be able to find his way out of it soon

― * 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

best friends , bad influence , good influence , childhood friends , friends with lingering feelings , his rock/confident , friendzoned , frienemies , ex-friends/current enemies , rivals , someone who is on to his secret , fwb , mutual crushes , hook-up , a will they won’t they , exes on good terms , exes on bad terms , first loves , exes with lingering feelings , regular at where he works , angel/devil on the shoulder , chaotic duo , someone he’s stealing info from

[isaacathom]

so i had a gay af dream. so, im standing at the intersection of main roads nearest my house. a friend comes up. he asks me about something vaguely romantic and im like ‘hahaaa no offense mate but’ and hes like ‘nono its cool we’re just like planning to hook you up with a girl friend’ and im like. oh. ok. there was more to that but that was the gist

so i basically walk with him to a house that looks a lot like my aunts, and everyones sitting down, playing video games, chilling. they show me the girls like, twitter? shes a trans girl named Nikki whose display name was like ‘Chookie Chan’ and whose like, @ was something like. jake2jakemonsterguy like it was something weird. and im like, ok, i can dig this.

eventually we meet up and shes a really nice person. very friendly. we laugh a lil at how our names are the same, i get a lil uncomfy and decide to tell her im nb and named Isaac, and shes really happy for me and it was honestly just really sweet all in all.

then shit got weird and it was like, a cold gust of air from behind her, and she turns in fear, and it turns out a War has begun and since shes from a ‘different country’ (spain but placed real wrong. whole of europe was fucked up here) she had to leave right now, and this war was gonna keep us separate because im like. english here? it was weird. so she has to leave and im really sad. then i start planning ways to like. go visit? its a little tough because i think the idea is that our two countries werent at war with each other, but that they were both at war with a country that was in between? meaning it was REALLY difficult for us to access each other.

i ended up in the resistance (at this point im assuming the country in the middle fucked up totally-not-england) and on a train headed towards the border, though i couldnt keep track of days or locations because all the curtains were thick and black and drawn. but every once and a while some friendly resistance people would come into my cabin and theyd open the curtains just a lil, enough to see some landmarks. notably the Eiffel Tower? wild. im gonna have to assume spain-but-north was way further up than i thought. but i cracked open a champagne (or a sweet white wine idk) and had a nice time before we hastily closed the curtains again as some draconic big things flew overhead. then the train was attacked and my car was disconnected from the rest, and get sent down a different track to like, customs? it was weird.

at this point it was basically me and about 4 other people (two of whom were resistance but not the ones i had a wine with and technically not the same resistance), and we spent a bit arguing about whether resisting at all was right and what way we should do it. then i set out to cross the country and reunite with my Chookie.

like it got weird. but it was fun! she was very nice. there was a bit where i was imagining different meetings with her and one involved her standing on a pole surrounded by ocean while i held on to a different hole clinging for dear life. and she asked something about like ‘hows the fair lady?’ and im going ‘fair lady’s gonna drown from feeling faint at the sight of you’ and she laughed and then had to genuinely hurry over to help me because, if i havent mentioned this before, i cant swim worth a shit. she was dressed in flowing white and it was honestly some ethereal sea spirit shit

[n3bel]

Got tagged by @kennyhickeyapologist and @lovedelux , thank you so much. You have no idea how much things like these help when a person is stuck bored at work!

LAST:

1. Drink: Cappucino from a vending machine

2. Phone call: A few days ago, I was calling my dad because we wanted to meet up and we had to decide where and when :0

3. Text message: “...Richard is such a creative soul. He understands.” , on behalf of discussing Reesh’s opinion on fanfics.

4. Song you listened to: Queen - We Are The Champions

5. Time you cried: I actually don’t remember.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yeah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Of course

8. Been cheated on: Technically no but there was a guy who wasn’t 100 % loyal 

9. Lost someone special: Yeah

10. Been depressed: Yeah

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Thankfully I haven’t thrown up from being drunk yet!

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. pastel/dark blue

13. white

14. black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yos!

16. Fallen out of love: Absolutely

17. Laughed until you cried: Yeah. Yesterday. At the fucking cookie story.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so

19. Met someone who changed you: A b s o l u t e l y

20. Found out who your friends are: Yos

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Hell y e a h 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them.

24. Do you want to change your name: Probably not, even though I hate it. 

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Absolute nothing. Mostly was anxious because the entire family would gather and all the attention was making me fucking sick - but these birthdays are gonna be a fucking blast lmao

26. What time did you wake up: 5:40 AM

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Well there were bunch of Reesh gifs you know? Go try and figure 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: for Rammstein to come back to Prague... and for me managing to get tickets.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: She’s literally sitting a few meters away from me as I’m writing this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Having more work ethic, being completely resistant to writer’s block because that shit ruins my life

31. What are you listening right now: A track from a Bojack Horseman edit asdfhash

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yup

34. Most visited Website: Tumblr because I have no fucking life

LOST QUESTIONS

35. Mole/s: Hmm none

36. Mark/s: Also none I guess

37. Childhood dream: To be an astronaut, but it changed to astronomer over the years lol

38. Hair colour: dirty blonde

40. Do you have a crush on someone: My s/o probably,, always

41. What do you like about yourself: my bIGASS BROWN EYES OOF also nose is big but i lived up to it and now i actually like it

42. Piercings: None :(

43. Blood type: Shid,,, not even my mom knows

44. Nickname: Hmmm... I don’t have nicknames when I come to think of it. Oh. Wait. Actually I do. “Chlebíček” (I hope you’re reading this, Pomidorek).

45. Relationship status: in a relationship that feels pretty distant but yeah we have each other’s backs

46. Zodiac: Sagittarius Sun, Capricorn rising and Pisces Moon

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: The Office/Red Dwarf/Bojack Horseman/LD&R I honestly can’t choose just one those are all bangers

49. Tattoos: So far none

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: When I was very young another small sharp bone began growing out of my normal bone under the knee?? So I had to get that removed lol

52. Hair dyed in different color: Dark blue

55. Vacation: Croatia!!!

56. Pair of trainers: Shit I don’t think I have any,,, okay I got like 1 pair of some offbrand light shoes but that’s about it

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: I. Can. Eat. Shittons. Junk food especially, sign me up for those chicken strips flavored Lays 

58. Drinking: Cappucino, Coke, bottled waters.

59. I’m about to: Well shit, probably work, probably also figure out some fanfic things while doing so

61. Waiting for: my workshift to end

62. Want: TO START WRITING THE FANFIC ALREADY HFDHH

63. Get married: Noooooooooooooope nope nonono

64. Career: Astronomer!

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or younger: Older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS

71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: It depends. Currently, relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant but hey troublemakers are fun?

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: No

75. Drank hard liquor: Yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No

77. Turned someone down: Yes

78. Sex in the first date: Nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes

80. Had your heart broken: Yes

81. Been arrested: No

82. Cried when someone died: Yes

83. Fallen for a friend: Y E S 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Mostly, I try to

85. Miracles: Yes

86. Love at first sight: No

87. Santa Claus: No

88. Kiss on the first date: Yaaas

89. Angels: I don’t believe in Angels/Demons, but I believe in entities such as ghosts, personal guidances etc. Angel or Demon is for me, just a determination whether the being is good or not, but that depends on person’s point of view, hence relativity. So I don’t really choose to believe in these terms personally.

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Luca

91. Eye colour: Brown

92. Favorite movie: Interstellar

I’m tagging @extinctsunset, @rammquotes and @mein-radio to do this! Have fun lol

[mein-radio]

Tag game ✨

Got tagged by @n3bel​ . Thank you so much for the tag dear 🤘🏻

LAST:

1. Drink: A coffee

2. Phone call: Yesterday, with a friend I haven’t talked for a long time

3. Text message: My last text message was actually a message I sent to @n3bel​ on Tumblr before doing this tag ;)

4. Song you listened to: Eat You Alive by Emigrate

5. Time you cried: Three of four days ago actually, from exhaustion and stress.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: No

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never

8. Been cheated on: No

9. Lost someone special: Yes

10. Been depressed: Yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never. I hate throwing up and thanksfully I’ve never gotten that drunk.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. black

13. red

14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes!

16. Fallen out of love: Yes, sadly

17. Laughed until you cried: Of course, yes!

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I think so 🤔

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes, definitely

20. Found out who your friends are: Yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I think so 😂

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Let’s say most of them.

24. Do you want to change your name: No, I’m satisfied with it

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Spent a wonderful time with a dear friend I haven’t seen for a long time

26. What time did you wake up: 9:30 AM

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was probably reading or watching TV 🤔

28. Name something you can’t wait for: finally seeing Rammstein in concert 😍

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Today!

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Maybe my career. I’m quite satisfied with it but I would have liked to try something else before heading straight up into this specific career. 

31. What are you listening right now: Hypothetical by Emigrate (I am literally listening to the Silent So Long Album by Emigrate)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No, never :o

34. Most visited Website: Vinted. I’m addicted to it, okay? 😂

LOST QUESTIONS

35. Mole/s: Yes, many

36. Mark/s: Yes

37. Childhood dream: To become an artist and then a musician. I nearly did but, no 😂

38. Hair colour: Right now black but it’s originally light brown

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes 🙃

41. What do you like about yourself: That I trust my instinct 

42. Piercings: Yes. Got to rid of so many but there are still 11 left 😌

43. Blood type: O+

44. Nickname: Lee, Lily, Elee...

45. Relationship status: Single AF

46. Zodiac: Gemini, Scorpio as rising sign, Moon in Leo.

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: Sons of Anarchy, Twin Peaks, Game of Thrones, American Horror Story... I can’t choose between those.

49. Tattoos: Yes, 7 so far! 

50. Right or left hand: Mostly right but I’m ambidextrous. 

51. Surgery: Never got surgery

52. Hair dyed in different color: I literally died my hair all the colour of the rainbow over the last 10 years 🌈

55. Vacation: London

56. Pair of trainers: I only have one and only use them when I run.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Anything vegan 🌱

58. Drinking: Water, Tea, Coffee.

59. I’m about to: Eat something

61. Waiting for: Nothing rn. 

62. Want: To sleep, I’m so tiiiired

63. Get married: Well I don’t think so. But, we’ll see.

64. Career: Teaching 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or younger: Older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms

71. Sensitive or loud: Both

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: No

75. Drank hard liquor: Yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes

77. Turned someone down: Yes

78. Sex in the first date: No

79. Broken someone’s heart: No. Well... I don’t think so 🤷🏻‍♀️

80. Had your heart broken: Yes

81. Been arrested: No

82. Cried when someone died: Yes

83. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Yes

85. Miracles: Yes

86. Love at first sight: Yes

87. Santa Claus: No

88. Kiss on the first date: Yes

89. Angels: No

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: /

91. Eye colour: Green Brown

92. Favorite movie: The Silence of the Lambs

I’m tagging, well, everyone who wants to do it! I feel like tagging a lot of people these days, so if you want to do it, just go for it. But tag me in your post so that I can see your answers :)  Thank you @n3bel for tagging me, it was fun tag to do!

[theslayersblog]

SlaYers novel 1 chapter 1

Slayers novel 1

Beware of Bandits That Go Grump in the Night

So there I was, tearing through the woods at top speed, a gang of murderous bandits hot on my tail.

Why were they chasing me, you ask? Well, it’s a long, boring story and besides, where I come from, it’s not all that odd to find yourself being chased through the woods at top speed by a gang of murderous bandits. Especially if you’re me.

If you really want to know why I can tell you, but you don’t need to know why. Actually, it’s probably safer if you don’t know. Look, it might ruin the story for you, okay? And you wouldn’t want to ruin the story, would you? Of course, you wouldn’t.

So anyway, where were we before I was so rudely interrupted? Ah, yes: I was tearing through the woods at top speed, a gang of murderous bandits hot on my tail.

Okay, I might’ve stolen something from the bandits. There. Are you happy now? It’s possible that I sneaked into their little bandit camp and helped myself to the teensiest, tiniest bit of treasure, and it’s conceivable that they were a tad peeved about that. And I suppose that might have had something to do with why they were chasing me. Maybe.

It was barely a speck of pixie dust, I swear. And for that, they wanted to wring my neck! Sheesh. How stingy can you be? Not that I’ve ever heard of generous bandits, mind you. But still.

Can we move on now?

There I was, tearing through the woods at top speed, a gang of murderous bandits hot on my tail. I had a good lead on them, but they were sprinting on masculine and murderous feet and I was—er—traipsing along on my ever-so-dainty lotus blossoms— What? My feet are dainty!—so I knew I wouldn’t have the advantage for long.

Not being big on precautionary measures, I screeched to a halt and peeked out from beneath my hood to evaluate my options. The trees on either side of the road were too dense for me to cut through. Even at midday, I wouldn’t be able to see two feet in front of me.

The bandits were closing in, their bloodlust hanging thick in the air. Even the birds had sensed the danger and stopped singing—I was trapped!

Now, when I say road, bear in mind that the road we were running on was more like a path. It was as though some guy had hacked his way through the woods with a machete, figuring that hiking single file was a fine method of travel. Weeds grew high on either side, and starting a scuffle in them was not exactly appealing.

Knowing the terrain better than I did, the enemy had been able to circle around and surround me. I wasn’t too sure of the situation, so I decided it was best to mind my manners for the time being. Still, I had to say something to flush them out.

“I know you’re there,” I shouted, biting my tongue to squelch the sarcasm.

“Well, hello there, toots.”

Who’s it gonna be this time? I wondered. A talking skeleton, maybe? A zombie? Nope. Who’da thunk your average eyepatch-wearing bald brute would have the nerve to call me “toots”? Go figure.

Maybe he’d bolstered his confidence with his oh-so-scary outlaw outfit? Aware that any good look starts off with decent skincare, baldy had gone for a bronzy glow—by massaging his skin with what, judging by the smell, could only have been fetid pork fat. He sported a shirtless ensemble, accessorized with a scimitar, achieving a style that screamed, “I AM A FILTHY, DISGUSTING THUG!” And yet, despite his brute fashion, it seemed he was bent on talking me to death.

“What ya did to us back there wasn’t nice,” he growled.

No duh, genius.

“And now, here ya are, all by yer lonesome and at our mercy.” He licked his lips.

Um… ew.

“Aw now, ya can relax” he said, and slid into a smile so greasy that his cheeks actually made squishing sounds. “I don’t wanna fight ya, toots. Ya look like a biter, ya do, and I don’t fancy tussling with a gal who’d leave me marked.”

“Now, ya got yerself an impressive set of balls, I gotta say. Downright admirable. And yer technique’s real professional-like—busting in and tossing magic around left and right, setting the place aflame, cooking the boss-man to a crisp, and then, once the ruckus was well under way, sneaking into the vault and making off with our loot. Speaking strictly as a professional, I gotta say I was impressed.”

Um, earlier I forgot to mention the parts about the fire and the leader-killing, didn’t I? Sorry about that. I guess that had something to do with why they were chasing me, too. Oh well. No rest for the wicked, I always say.

“Ya got us good. At first we figured we’d chase ya down and exact our revenge, in a fashion befitting our scurrilous reputation, but somewheres along the road I got to thinking maybe there’s a better way, hmmm… ? Maybe the thing to do is to have ya join up with us, huh? Whaddaya say, toots?”

Join up with you? I feel like I need to take a shower just for talking to you, cretin.

“Ya’ll have to return the booty, of course, but ya agree to join up with us and we’ll consider yer killin’ the boss to be water under the bridge.”

I acted like I was thinking it over.

“It ain’t a bad deal I’m offering ya,” he continued. “It’s what ya might call nonviolent conflict resolution, makin’ the best out of a had situation. Give and take: We make use of yer talents, and ya got yerself a gang. Ya give us back our stolen treasure, and we let ya keep breathing. It ain’t such a bad deal, see? Whaddaya say?” he asked, and his smile opened up like a wound.

I see how it is, I thought. Until I knocked off their leader, baldy here had been the number-two guy. So really, I did him a favor. He doesn’t want revenge; he just wants his treasure back and the addition of my special skills to his arsenal. He was probably sweet on me, too. Who could blame him? Unfortunately for him, I have a strict no-return policy where treasure is concerned, and I’m just not depraved enough to hook up with a band of thieves.

Could you imagine waking up every morning to a guy like that asking you, “What’s up, toots?” No, thank you. Ladies, where are the princes on white horses the storybooks promised us, huh? Couldn’t there be just one among this sea of ill-mannered thugs?

Yeah, I didn’t think so. Oh well. A girl can dream.

“Better answer fast, toots. Never know what kind of scum’s roaming around this neck of the woods. Ain’t no place to be a-napping.”

That guy sure was a talker. Bear in mind, I hadn’t said a word since he’d started yammering. I stood there silently while he went on and on and on. And on. And on, some more. What is it with men loving to hear the sound of their own voice?

Right about the time he started winding down with, “So, toots, how’s about it?” I sensed another presence entering our sphere. Hmmm…

“Not a chance,” I growled in as low a voice as I could manage without straining, and I dug my heels in the ground to emphasize my point.

“Why, ya little…” he snarled and he stopped, his mouth hanging open as his wee bandit brain struggled to simultaneously process anger and disappointment. Multitasking evidently wasn’t his strong point, and the pressure caused him to turn bright red. Actual steam shot out of his ears, I think.

“Ya little…” He tried again.

Finally, he found the words he was searching for: “Ya little arrogant bitch.”

Oh, bravo. I can see why it took you so long to come up with that one.

“I made ya a generous offer and ya threw it back in my face! For that, we’re gonna feed ya yer liver! Have at ‘er, boys!”

And with that, ten men stepped out of the forest and surrounded me. Ten.

“Ten guys? That’s it?” It just slipped out. I didn’t want to be rude, but ten? C’mon. It was insulting. Oh sure, the ten guys puffed up their chests and made a show of how tough they were, which I suppose I appreciated, but really. Ten guys? It was as if they had no faith in me. Sad.

“Oh now, this ain’t all of us, toots. Our mates in the woods are aiming their razor-tipped arrows at ya right now. When I say the word—THWANNG! Yer a pincushion. Now, I’m gonna give ya one more chance to save yerself.”

Amateurs! Those were obvious lies. As both a swordswoman and a sorceress, I have impeccable instincts for when I’m being aimed at. If I were in anyone else’s crosshairs, I’d have known it. Those peabrains were way beneath my talents, and I was starting to get bored, when…

“Shall I wait for you to call some friends, so we can have a fair fight?”

The presence I’d sensed earlier! We all turned to see where that zinger had come from. A lone wandering mercenary materialized from among the trees, the rays of morning light reflecting off his drawn sword.

Somebody cue the chorus of angels, would you?

That man was an awe-inspiring vision of wondrous wonderfulness. He was tall, he was blond, and did I say tall already? His breastplate had been forged from the scales of a black iron serpent and judging by his sword, he made a decent living as an archetypical light fighter: fast and skilled. I told you he was tall, right? Did I mention he was a hottie?

“Piece of advice, fellas: If you all take off at a dead sprint now, a few of you might actually make it back to the rock you’ve crawled from under before I catch up and exterminate you like the vermin you are. One or two of you might even escape with your lives. That is, if you start right now”

Not a bad threat, I thought.

The chatty bald beast sputtered and spewed and spat and at last shouted back, “Just who the hell are ya to be creeping out from the woods and interrupting our delicate negotiations with yer ugly threats and insults, huh?”

“I don’t care to sully my name by giving it to you,” the blond replied.

Ouch. Okay, well, that was a little embarrassing. Frankly, the whole thing just got more clichéd and harder to stomach from there. Not that I had any choice, I mean, where was I going to go? I just stood there, probably looking like I’d swallowed a bug, which is pretty much how I felt.

I shouldn’t have complained, right? I mean, doesn’t every girl want a handsome rescuer to sweep in when she’s in a pinch? So what if she could’ve handled the whole thing on her own and the handsome rescuer in question didn’t have the verbal acuity she was hoping for? A gal can’t afford to be too picky these days, can she? I know, I know, but play along, will ya?

“Ya little… !”

Oh no. You think he’ll do any better this time?

“Ya impertinent cad!”

Guess not.

“We’re gonna feed ya both yer livers now! Have at ‘em, boys!”

At last, the sword fight began.

I considered helping the guy out, but I didn’t want to embarrass him. Besides, the proper role of a heroine is to run around shrieking in an excruciatingly high-pitched voice, isn’t it? I mean, otherwise what’s the point?

                        I’d never done the running-around-and-shrieking thing before, and I gotta say, should you get the opportunity, I highly recommend it. It’s a lot more fun than you’d expect.

Anyway, there I was, shrieking like my life depended on it and pretending I had no idea what was going on around me. Sadly, the whole thing wrapped up quickly. The blond prevailed, of course.

Breathless and glowing with victory, he made his way over a minefield of bandit bodies and swept up to me. “Are you all right, milady?” he asked, his eyes seeking out my own. He took his first good long look at me, drinking in my loveliness, and… he was speechless.

Now, I don’t want to brag, but I am not exactly lacking in the looks department. Big, round eyes, a peaches-and-cream complexion; all perched atop a tight little body in petite proportions. Poor thing, he didn’t stand a chance.

He sighed—with admiration and longing, I was sure. When at last able to speak, he did so quietly, as though mumbling a prayer. It was barely as audible as a whisper, and had I not been a gifted sorceress with the enhanced hearing that accompanies that role, I probably wouldn’t have heard him at all. O lucky me!

 “Great. She’s just a kid.”

Just a kid? Okay. That stung a little.

Oh, but wait—there’s more!

“This is what I get for not looking more carefully before I get into these things. I mean, I like kids. I want to be a standup guy, but c’mon! Ten guys, I fought! Ten guys! Is it so much to ask that one of these days there’s a babe waiting for me at the other end? Somebody hot, you know? All breathless and grateful… is that too much to hope for? Apparently so. And now I’m stuck looking after Little Miss No-Boobs.”

Gah!

Okay, I suppose I am a little underdeveloped for a girl my age. And I’m… I’m not very tall. All right, I’m short. Is that what you want me to say? I’m short and I’m flat-chested. What’s the big deal, huh? At least I can run fast and my clothes hang right. Boobs are overrated, if you ask me.

Shit! Why do they always get you where you’re sensitive?

I’m sure he didn’t think I could hear his mumbling. A normal person couldn’t have, but for better or worse, my ears are as sensitive as an elf’s. For worse this time, I’d say. Ouch.

Regardless, he had helped me out of a bit of a pinch, so I had an obligation to thank him.

“Th-thank you very much,” I stuttered, and I smiled as broadly as I could.

“No need to thank me at all.” He managed something of a smile in return. ‘Are you hurt, little miss?”

Little miss?! God, help me…

“You know, it’s not safe for a little girl to be wandering around in an area like this on her own. Were you traveling with your father or someone? Are you separated? Lost?”

Grr… “No, no… I’m—uh—by myself…”

I guessed maybe all that blond hair was making it hard for him to see. I mean, if it had been me, I’d like to think I’d have figured out pretty quickly that the lovely creature before me was no helpless little kid.

“Well, I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. How about if I escort you home, sweetie?”

Oh, now… wait just a damn minute—!

“Where do your mommy and daddy live?”

Grrrrrr! “Uh, I’m by myself. I don’t live anywhere, exactly… I was just heading to Atlas City—”

“I see, well, there’s no need for you to explain. I understand completely. You’re in a pretty rough spot, aren’t you?”

“Huh?”

“I completely understand. We all have our circumstances,” he said in a maddeningly condescending tone.

“No, um, I don’t think you do understand.”

“Oh, I understand more than you think I understand.”

What?! I don’t even think I understand what it is you think that I think that you don’t understand!

In retrospect, I think he thought he’d rescued a helpless little girl who’d been forced to live on her own as a result of some sort of tragedy At the time, I suspected he was going to keep spewing the same reassurances until he died of suffocation or I died of embarrassment. One of us had to put an end to it.

“No, really. I’m fine. I appreciate your kindness, but I’m not a victim. I’m an adventuress, off to see the world.” I was telling him the truth—which, incidentally, was no small feat for me!

“Really, I don’t mean to pry, miss. You don’t have to make any excuses for my benefit.”

Okay, now, this just sucks. For once in my life, I’m not making excuses!

I didn’t know what else to say.

‘All right then, miss. How about if I stick with you and see that you reach Atlas City safely?”

Bad ideal Bad ideal Bad—idea!

“Oh mister, n-no… no—no need for you to go so far out of your way! I-I couldn’t.”

I wasn’t kidding, either. Atlas City was TEN DAYS AWAY I couldn’t imagine spending twenty-four hours a day side by side with Mr. Perceptiveness for TEN DAYS without succumbing to the temptation to commit the premeditated murder of a blond.

“It’s all right,” he said. “I think you need a friend.”

He was obviously committed to the idea.

“But… I…”

The conversation went on like that for a while. I objected. He objected to my objection. I understood where he was coming from, but I thought he misunderstood. He appreciated my understanding, but he thought I misunderstood his understanding. And so on until, between understanding, misunderstanding, thinking and objecting, my head was throbbing, and I no longer cared who went with me, so long as we got moving.

We hadn’t been on the road twenty minutes before he felt the need to speak again. “I don’t believe we’ve introduced ourselves yet. I’m Gourry. As you’ve likely deduced, I’m a traveling swordsman. And you?”

I considered giving him a fake name, but honestly, I was too tired to see the point.

“I’m Lina. I’m a… traveler.”

There. I gave him my real name. And I am a traveler. So maybe I left out a few important details. So what? Gourry had already proven he wasn’t the type to ask penetrating questions. I figured that he’d buy pretty much anything I wanted to sell him about my circumstances, which, as far as I was concerned, was a point in his favor.

And maybe he wasn’t exactly a brain trust unto himself, but he seemed like a nice guy His heart was in the right place, anyway.

It wasn’t like he’d been all, “Hey little missy, let’s you and I go take little voyage together, heh, heh, heh…” Um, ew. If he’d shown any sort of sleazy ulterior motive, I’d have turned him into troll meal. But, he seemed genuinely concerned about me, so I couldn’t exactly be mean to him. And he really wasn’t getting under my skin like I’d figured he would. Still, the prospect of being treated like a kid all the way to Atlas City did not bode well for either of us. Not that I wanted him to flirt with me, that’s not what I’m saying. I just… I’m digging a hole here, aren’t I? Okay, whatever. Let’s just leave it at: He seemed like a nice guy.

With Gourry “escorting” me, I didn’t get a chance to be alone and catch my breath until after we’d found a town that night, gotten directions to the local inn, had some dinner, checked in, gone to our rooms, and said bonsoir for the evening. It sure felt great to be alone. The room wasn’t especially large, and it smelled like burning oil. The, uh, decor left something to be desired, but it was furnished with all that I required—a bed, table, and oil lamp—and it felt downright posh after the day I’d had.

I unfastened my mantle—which is a loose, sleeveless coat or cloak—and tossed it on the floor. It hit the hardwood with a thud, a jingle, and a series of ker-chinks.

Oh, like you’ve never thrown your clothes on the floor. Who are you, my mom? I was tired. Leave me alone.

Thanks to a little spell I’d whipped up to keep my hands free, my mantle, which extends from my collar to my knees, always lies flat, even though it’s lined with leather pouches for holding my loot.

It remains smooth, but unfortunately not silent, and the clanking and clinking of confiscated bandit booty had been driving me nuts all day. I was looking forward to the chance to empty the pouches and appraise my spoils. This was no small task, mind you, as I’d been… uh… working without a vacation for a while, and I hadn’t had a chance to organize. And those leather pouches fill fast because of my basic plundering philosophy, which is to grab anything that looks like it might be valuable and then sort it all out later.

The paltry amount of light produced by a cheap lodge-oil lamp was hardly sufficient for proper treasure evaluation, so I formed a sphere of light between my open palms, and then proceeded to raise it to the ceiling. Voilà! Just a simple lighting spell, but it was bright enough to tan in that room when I was finished. I emptied my leather pouches and spread their contents on the floor around me. I counted some two or three hundred glittering gemstones, a few coins, a large knife, and a statue of some sort.

I could tell right off that most of the gemstones were flawed. The statue appeared to be of a goddess, but more important, it was made of Orihalcon, and for that reason alone was a valuable find. The knife had some kind of “weapons magic” attached to it, that I couldn’t identify. I considered trying to use it, but you never know what something like that might do to an innocent bystander. I decided that the safest thing would be to pawn it at the next magic shop I came across. Finally, there were a few dozen coins minted by the Duchy of Ledis, and since the Duchy had been destroyed some five hundred years before, I figured they would fetch a tidy sum.

And that was it.

It wasn’t much of a haul, but what else would you expect from a low-end operation like Baldy McEyepatch and his Ten Merry Hoods?

A mountain of flawed gemstones is still a mountain of gemstones, and a mountain of gemstones is a sight to behold. A girl could buy herself many a fancy-schmancy dinner with even half a mountain of gemstones. And what else does any girl need?

Well actually, if she happens to be a sorceress, she needs a whole lot more than a few nice dinners to make her way in the world! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Back to the gemstones.

I divided them by type, and then into flawed and flawless groups. The flawless gems were fine as they were, but the flawed ones couldn’t be sold for much. Unless…

I fished a crystal sphere about the size of a child’s fist out of my bag and placed it on the floor in front of me. It spun around several times, and then came to a decisive stop with its engraved symbol pointing to my right.

I pulled a parchment from my bag. Its breadth and width measured the span of my arm, and it glowed the color of an elf maiden’s skin.

This probably goes without saying, but just in case: I need you to keep anything I tell you about my materials on the down low. My spells are trade secrets, and the last thing I need is a bunch of amateurs stirring up forces they can’t control. So, all the details of spell-casting? Just between us, okay? Cool!

From my bag I retrieved another, smaller parchment bearing a symbol block-printed on it. I took one of the flawless rubies and positioned it over the symbol on the larger parchment. I then placed the smaller parchment over the ruby, like I was making a ruby-and-parchment sandwich. As I chanted a fire spell, the smaller paper ignited, turning to ashes in an instant.

“Step one, check!” I peered into the gemstone from above. Sure enough, the symbol from the smaller paper had sealed itself inside the gem.

I then selected one of the flawed rubies and held it lightly in my left hand, four-to-six inches above the marked gem, while chanting an air spell. The stone in my hand crumbled into a shower of blood-colored dust, which sifted down onto the bewitched stone below

I repeated the technique until I’d disposed of the last of the flawed rubies, and the large parchment, on which the stone had rested, was covered with a mound of ruby dust.

“Step two…”

Over the mound, I sprinkled some clear liquid from a small bottle, placed my left palm over that, and chanted a succession of earth-and-water spells, much like the fire-and-air spells I’d used before. My palm got hot as the ruby dust flared with bright white light. After a moment, the light dimmed, and the pile had taken the form of a large ruby dumpling.

Ta-da! Total victory!

What? Don’t you like giant ruby dumplings? Okay, psych! That wasn’t what I was going for either. But just wait.

At first, the dumpling looked like an ill-conceived attempt at pottery. But slowly the surface began to glaze over, and then, a few minutes later, it hardened. The dumpling had shaped itself into a larger version of the bewitched ruby, complete with enclosed power symbol.

“One down!”

I used the same technique on the remaining emeralds, sapphires, and amethysts. When I was done, I had a set of enchanted gems that could be used as simple talismans or combined with other charms or weapons to enhance their powers. More important, I could sell them for a much better price.

Time out. I’d like to take a moment and mention that my own pendant—as well as my bandana and the short sword that I wear on my hip—have all been enhanced in just this way. If you don’t have a jeweled amulet, I highly recommend that you acquire one. They’re fashionable, oh-so-practical, and right now, they’re all the rage with the well-to-do. If you do decide to get one, I would advise that you spare no expense and get the best you can afford. If you’re a person of means, you can even have it custom-made by a talented and experienced sorceress.

Someone like me for instance. I could totally hook you up.

Okay, end of commercial.

Only nine more days to Atlas City. Hang in there, Lina!

* * *

The following morning, Gourry and I traveled on, side-by-side. The weather was perfect, and a symphony of gurgles from a nearby stream filled the air. A gentle breeze wafted through the woods around us, turning the leaves of various trees into nature’s own confetti. Golden light filtered through powder-puff clouds, making the path before us glow. It was one of those magical days.

I closed my eyes, drew in a chestful of the purest air in the world and thought: If I don’t eat something soon, I’m going to have to kill someone.

Hey! I don’t kid around when it comes to food. A girl’s gotta eat when a girl’s gotta eat. And this girl’s gotta eat often.

The next inn was a full day’s hike from the last one with nothing but rocks and weeds in between. As it crept up on noon, I started looking around for a flat area off the road to settle down with my lunch pack.

“Hang in there, little lady.”

Gourry had noticed my energy waning and mistook my insatiable hunger for fatigue. He was trying to say something to bolster my spirits, which was nice, but I really wished he’d cut the “little lady” crap.

“Times like these, a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.”

“Except I’m not a man.”

I think I threw him with that one.

“Well, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

“Fine. When do the tough stop for lunch?”

He had to think about that for a minute. We stopped. We stared. We contemplated our quandary while water babbled in the background… which is probably where we got the clever idea to go fishing in the stream that ran parallel to the path.

The stream in question was actually more of a river—too large for swimming in safely, though the water was clear. Fortunately, the sandy soil of the riverbank made it comfy to sit on for fishing.

“Here fishy, fishy, fishy,” I sang softly to myself as I collected a suitable tree branch from the forest floor and retrieved a fish-hook from my pack. I pulled out a few strands of my long, luxurious chestnut-colored hair and used them as line. Voilà! A fishing rod.

“Hey, you’re pretty good at this stuff,” said Gourry, sounding genuinely impressed.

“As a wise man once said, Gourry: You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

I set the rod aside and headed to the river’s edge. I moved a few rocks, dug around in the mud bank, and was rewarded with a handful of squirmy worms. I baited my hook and began to fish.

Here, fishy, fishy, fishy…

Nothing. Fishing is all about patience, you know.

Here, fishy, fishy, fishy…

Still nothing.

Here, stupid fishy, $#@!$#—!!!

Eventually, I did manage to catch quite a few fish, but it required a bit more sweet talk. Gourry built a fire; I cleaned and salted; and we cooked them on the spot. They were YUMMY! Frankly, I was so hungry at that point that they could have been breaded and fried in goblin blood, and I still would’ve eaten a dozen whole.

“Lina, you eat the tails?”

Don’t be such a little girl, Gourry.

“Waste not, want not,” I answered, figuring I owed him for that whole when-the-going-gets-tough-the-tough-get-going non-sense. He didn’t so much as smile. Why doesn’t anyone ever get my jokes? “Gourry, I can understand not eating the eyeballs if you’re squeamish, but why would you want to throw away the guts? That’s, like, a third of the weight of the fish.”

“I am not eating fish guts,” he replied resolutely.

“But they’re the tastiest paaart,” I teased, putting my lovely singing voice to good use. I scooped up some fish gut between my fingers and dangled it in his face before tossing it back and showing him how it was done. I slurped up the last bit through a big grin just for show.

“Lina, the stomach’s in the guts.”

“Yes it is, Gourry.”

“So, the worms you used as bait… you just ate them.”

I thought about that for a minute and then started spitting. I spat and spat and spat and rubbed my tongue on the grass, scraping it with my fingernails and concentrating hard on not throwing up.

“Okay, even if that is the case—”

“It is.”

“Yeah, I get that now! But even so, you shouldn’t point out things like that while someone’s eating.” Grrrrr.

We ate the rest of the fish without the guts. Gourry ate only his share. I checked. We sat there picking at the bones for a bit.

“I’m still hungry, Gourry.”

“Me, too,” he said. I reached for my rod to do more fishing, but I froze mid-motion. I sensed something ugly nearby.

“Goblins…” Gourry whispered under his breath, while we both tried to act nonchalant, “… about fourteen of them.”

Okey dokey.

I grabbed my fishing rod.

Remember when I said that there was nothing between the last town and the next but weeds and rocks? Change that to: weeds and rocks and a whole buttload of goblins. Thanks.

How much do you know about goblins? Let me give you the basics: Goblins are roughly humanoid, but stand only about chest high to the average adult human being. They’re generally—though not exclusively—nocturnal, kind of stupid, and prone to violence. They spook easily, so they tend to avoid human settlements, though they’ll happily poach cattle from the outskirts of towns and villages. In general, they’re not crazy about human beings, and I wouldn’t think that finding people wandering around their turf would fill them with glee. That’s the bad news. The good news is that they’re easy to make fun of.

I grasped my fishing hook with my left hand, narrowed my Incus, and began chanting a hunger spell of my own devising.

I’m not going to teach you the spell, so don’t even ask. I try not to use it; and if I taught it to you, you’d teach it to someone else and pretty soon there’d be no fish left in the sea! So, seriously, don’t even ask.

I’d just finished chanting when one of the goblins let loose a horrific yelp that must have been a war cry. The lot of them came screaming from the undergrowth, rusty spiked clubs and swords at the ready They were expecting us to run, of course.

“Shhh! Quiet!” I shouted in passable Goblin, and Gourry and I held our ground.

The goblins halted.

Taking advantage of the momentary opening, I lowered the fishhook under the surface of the water.

Here, fishy, fishy, fishy…

Silence.

The goblins muttered among themselves something along the lines of, “What’s up with the crazy red-headed broad?” They watched me carefully, trying to figure out what I was doing, but they didn’t attack.

And then… I got a bite.

“Aw, yeah!” I yawped, yanking both line and fish high out of the water. “Whoa! That’s a big one!” A huge fish danced in midair, whipping around the line and spraying us with river water. I took the fish off the line, also in midair; and it flopped on the ground before us.

That last bit, incidentally, was even more difficult than it sounds. Be impressed.

“Grab it!” I shouted in Goblin.

“Gii!” they responded.

“Gya gya, gukii!”

“Gyuge!”

Yes, well done.

The goblins danced around like they’d just won the lottery I kept catching fish, and they kept dancing. I had to bring in two dozen fish before I had them circled in as close as I wanted them.

I handed my rod over to the nearest oaf.

“Gi?”

“Sure. This one works real good. Wanna try it?”

“Gi… ?”

He tilted his head to one side and looked at me like my words made no sense. How rude! My Goblin may not be polished, but it’s not exactly a sophisticated language. I lowered the hook into the water for him and—he got a bite instantly!

“Giggi!”

His companions congratulated him and conveniently forgot all about Gourry and me. We crept quietly out of the area.

* * *

“You know some pretty crazy tricks,” said Gourry, and I had to smile at that one.

At nightfall, we waltzed into the dining hall of the next town’s single-story inn. The air was perfumed with the scent of ale and tobacco; but I was hungry again, and when they brought out meaty drumsticks, I quickly became oblivious to my surroundings. The drumsticks were really good. Mmmm…

I blinked when Gourry spoke, and the room snapped back into focus. Gourry was staring at me blankly from across the table.

What? I blinked again. The candle on the table flickered. I brought my cup to my lips and took a sip of juice. Some pretty crazy tricks? I took another bite from the drumstick in my left hand.

Gourry’s mouth was hanging open incredulously.

Ah, now I remember. “About earlier…”

Gourry’s incredulous expression advanced to who-is-this-little-girl-anyway.

What? What’s the big deal about a little fishing spell? Sheesh. Did he think I was entirely helpless?

“That was pretty basic magic,” I explained. “Not really worth going into, I promise.”

He grunted in admiration. “So… you’re some kind of sorceress, then?”

Gah!

Now it was my jaw’s turn to drop. “Some kind of sorceress? Yes, I am some kind of sorceress! What did you think?”

I’d like to explain that from the moment that Gourry first laid eyes on me, I have been dressed like SOME KIND OF SORCERESS. I wear trousers and long boots, which in fairness doesn’t indicate anything about my profession except, perhaps, that I am not a princess. However, I also wear a loose robe, cinched at the waist with a wide leather belt, a pair of leather gloves, and a bandana over my forehead. Thinly armored epaulets protect my shoulders, and my mantle stretches to my knees. And get this: Every item I have just described to you is embroidered in silver filament with magical symbols. I wear a silver necklace and silver bracelets. And, the short sword I carry on my left hip is embedded with an enchanted gemstone I made myself. I couldn’t look more like a sorceress if I wore a sticker on my chest that said “Hello, my name is LINA and I’m a SORCERESS!”

Did he seriously think I was some kind of fishmonger or a waitress at Le Café Sorcerie?

“Hmmm… I’m not really sure now that you ask. After all that business on the river, I guess I thought you might be some kind of fishmonger or maybe a waitress?”

Die, Gourry! DIE!

I buried my face in my soup dish.

Oh, hey…there’s still a little left in here.

“Relax,” Gourry said, “I’m just kidding. I didn’t think you were a fishmonger. I got you pretty good, though….”

“You sure did. I was going to kill you, but I got distracted by my soup.” I used a handkerchief to wipe the stew off my face as I spoke. He didn’t laugh. I probably should’ve explained that I, too, was kidding, but I’m not a very good sport. Let him wonder.

“So how good are you, anyway? Can you use a fireball? You look like you might be able to handle Black Magic.”

Sorcery, I should explain, is divided into three classes: White Magic, Black Magic, and Shamanic Magic. The latter makes use of the four elements (earth, water, fire, air) and the spirit world—it’s the mainstay of any sorcerer. My real specialty though is Black Magic, which isn’t as dastardly as it sounds—I use only the offensive spells, not the curses. It’s a common misconception that all offensive spells are Black Magic, but many of them are actually Shamanic Magic. The fireball that Gourry mentioned is classified as Shamanic Magic—and it’s a doozy!

“I look like I might be able to handle Black Magic? Is that how little you think of me?”

“No! It’s just, you seem like a pretty easygoing type.”

Riiiight.

“Well, whatever,” he sighed. “It looks like I’m going to see what you can do in just a second anyway.”

How’s that? I wondered. By the time I’d formed that thought, the door to the inn had been kicked open.

“That’s her,” someone growled.

I turned my head in the direction of the ruckus and locked eyes with the growler.

Aw, crap. He was pointing right at me. I was hoping I would turn around to find the grump behind the growl was actually gunning for some other unfortunate “her,” but the index finger in my face dashed my hopes.

You don’t suppose he saw Gourry’s hair and mistook him for a woman, do you? No such luck.

A parade of trolls soon filed in; and behind them, a mummy who appeared to be controlling the lot. Looking closer, I could see that he wasn’t an actual mummy, but a living person wrapped in bandages. Whoever he was, he was clearly a sorcerer.

“Oh my! I’m certain you have the wrong girl!” I gave him a two-fisted smile and tried to keep my eyes from focusing so I wouldn’t look too smart.

“My name is Sophia. I think you must be looking for—”

“Shut up! I’m not concerned about your name, I know your face! You’re the one who robbed us!”

Whoops. Yeah, you got me.

“Oh, was that bad? I’m sorry, guys. Maybe we can work something out… ?”

Gourry eyed me suspiciously.

“I’ll explain later,” I whispered. “First, we’d better—”

About then, I felt troll breath on my cheek.

Familiar with trolls? Quick refresher just in case: Trolls are about twice as large as humans, and they’re as strong as all get out. They’re also surprisingly agile, considering their immensity. The really important thing to remember about trolls, though, is that they’re gifted with rapid regeneration, which means anything less than an instant kill heals within seconds. And that means, of course, that the only way to kill them is with a single blow. Also worth mentioning: Fighting a troll with showy attack spells indoors is a good way to wreck an inn and wipe out your savings. Not that I speak from experience—just trust me on this one. It tends to be dangerous for bystanders as well.

“Have it your way,” I said as I rose from my chair. “Let’s take this outside.”

“No way.”

“Okay…”

Great. The innkeeper is going to hate me.

“Give us back what you stole, and we’ll be on our way.”

Oh, fat chance. “Not gonna happen. I don’t respond well to threats. Especially threats that come from thieving wizards.”

“Excuse me, but aren’t you a thieving sorceress?” Gourry was heckling me from the sidelines.

“Oh, stuff it. Stealing from thieves is fair play.” Sadly, my line of reasoning was failing to impress the bad guys who outnumbered us.

“Get them!” the mummy man commanded, and the trolls moved into action. I moved into action, too.

My foes were armed only with sharp claws and brute strength, but believe me, that was enough. Even though my clothes, as talismans, were charmed, those claws wouldn’t have any trouble slicing right into my guts. One swipe and I was troll feed.

The first and largest launched the initial attack, which I evaded. Using his own right hand as leverage, I swung backward in a half-somersault as the next troll drew near. With the momentum from that move, I slid between the legs of the troll coming toward me, hitting him in the crotch and grabbing onto one of his feet. I may not be able to beat a troll with acrobatics, hut I could throw him off balance for a moment, enabling me to use him as a shield, thus minimizing my enemy’s numbers advantage. It almost sounds like I planned it that way, doesn’t it?

I sensed bloodlust behind me, and the very next moment another troll sent his claws deep into my mantle.

Sorry, ugly, but the mantle’s all you get. I’d slipped it off my shoulder guards a fraction of a second before. I’m so good!

The troll had put too much force into his blow, which sent him stumbling to the floor. I stepped ever-so-lightly on his head as I made my way to my next opponent.

Things went on like this for a while, and I soon found myself next to Gourry. Only this time, I was doing battle and he was watching, like it was some kind of exhibition match!

“Welcome back.”

“Thanks. Did you miss me?” I huffed.

What did he think he was doing, sitting back and watching a poor, innocent girl take on a bunch of trolls?

Don’t argue with me. I can play the poor, innocent-girl card any time I like, thankyouverymuch. And anyway, his behavior was completely inexcusable!

The trolls remained undaunted. Probably because I hadn’t managed to do more than knock down a single one.

“You cheeky little—”

Well at least I’d accomplished something—I was getting on the mummy man’s nerves. Right on.

“Gourry! Could you make an effort to hurt those trolls?” I asked sharply.

“Sure but… uh… you do know that trolls regenerate, right?”

“Yes, I do! Don’t try to educate me. Just do it—quick!”

Well, if any wound will do no matter how small—”

“That’s fine, just do it!”

While Gourry and I had been strategizing, the trolls had closed the distance between them and us. Time to get serious, Gourry.

“All right! I’m on it,” he said, thrusting his right hand into his pocket and pulling out a fistful of nuts. Yes, nuts. The sorts of things that squirrels consider gourmet. I was wondering whether or not he was nuts, when…

“Argh!”

“Ack!”

Flicking his fingertips, Gourry had managed not only to penetrate the trolls’ hides with those small nuts, but to bury the squirrel feed deep into their flesh. He had propelled those nuts with a level of force that would’ve been more than sufficient to take down normal men.

“Interesting technique, kid,” chuckled the mummy man. “Too bad about the rapid regeneration, though…” But before mister mummy was finished feeling smug, the trolls cried out in unison. The tiny wounds Gourry had inflicted were expanding quickly.

“W-what’s happening?! What have you done?” shrieked the mummy man, thoroughly flustered.

The wounds expanded in all directions, ripping the trolls’ tubby tummies into pieces. When it was finally over, more than half their bodies were gone.

It looked pretty nasty. I’m glad it wasn’t right before supper.

The mummy man and the trolls who remained were thoroughly freaked out and appeared to have lost their appetite for fighting. They were whispering among themselves about the crazy new magic I’d just used to chop up their buddies. Fear of the unknown is a powerful weapon. I’ll let you in on a little secret: What I did to those trolls was a lot smarter than it was difficult. Think of it as a reversal of the White Magic healing spell, if you like.

Here’s the deal: A healing spell, as the name suggests, uses spirit power to accelerate the rate at which damage done to the physical body is repaired. By reversing it, I used the trolls’ own healing powers against them. Of course, this would also be at a highly accelerated rate. Remember, trolls have rapid regenerative abilities already. So, by reversing that ability, and amplifying it even further, the tiniest wound causes their bodies to self-destruct.

Thank you, thank you. Now, please hold your applause until the end of the show, folks.

And yes, since you’re wondering, that is indeed another original spell. Normally I wouldn’t use something that nasty in combat, but you can’t get away with just slowing trolls down.

If I hadn’t used it, I might’ve ended up losing more than just my breath.

The spell had worn off, but I’d figured the rest of the group would bolt at that point, anyway. Unfortunately, one last troll proved to be more stubborn than I’d expected. He locked eyes with me and charged. I drew my short sword from my hip and began to chant as he leapt toward me.

Luckily, I was quicker on my feet than he was.

Claw and sword sparked a second, then a third time. The troll left himself open for a moment, and…

“Aha!” I shouted, and my sword sunk deep into his belly.

He grinned.

Another public service announcement: A smiling troll is never a good sign. Now you know.

He had me right where he wanted me. His objective had been to expose his midsection so that I’d strike. Then, I’d be trapped. If I let go of my weapon, I’d be defenseless and dead meat. If I didn’t let go, I’d be trapped within my enemy’s reach, while he’d survive because of his regenerative powers.

But just as he was preparing to gloat, I was settling the fight.

“Lightning!” I called out, using my sword to conduct the Mono Volt spell. The troll’s torso split apart.

That’s what you get for showing off big guy.

The poor thing’s enormous frame thrashed about as it screamed out in pain and finally—mercifully—expired. There was a colossal THUD as each of his limbs simultaneously gave up the fight and crashed to the floor.

Next?

“No more playtime, kids.” I slapped my hands together in front of my chest, closed my eyes, and began to chant. As I slowly separated my palms, a blue-white ball of light appeared between them and grew brighter and brighter.

“F-f-fireballllll!” The mummy man’s eyes widened as he bellowed. “Run! Ruunnn!” He and the trolls who were left took off in a hurry, screaming like their pants were already on fire.

“Whew…” I let out a loud sigh of relief, still holding the ball of light.

“‘Whew’ nothing!” shouted little girly Gourry from across the room. “What are you going to do with that fireball?!” Apparently he, too, feared the power of the fireball spell and had made his way toward the exit.

The fireball is a notorious fire-attack spell used by sorcerers almost universally. The area where the ball of light falls is instantly engulfed in flames, exterminating anything that lives or breathes in the area. Though its destructive power varies from user to user, a direct hit will invariably take a human from “rare” to “well done” before the poor thing even knows what’s coming.

 “Oh, this… ?” I took a long look at what was between my palms and then gently lobbed it upward.

“Aahhhh!” everyone in the room cried out, and then: There was silence.

Gourry was the first to look up… timidly.

“Oh relax, will you? It’s not a fireball.” I smiled and pointed to the white ornament in the air above me. “It’s a lighting spell.” And I laughed and laughed. My goodness I’m a funny girl. I crack myself up.

“What are you going to do about all this?!” interjected the innkeeper, who didn’t find me amusing at all.

I knew this was coming.

The tables and chairs were all smashed up. Corpses were strewn about like peanut shells, and the air was perfumed with L’Eau de Troll Blood. There was indeed a lot of splatter. I mean, a lot. And thanks to the lighting spell, you couldn’t miss a drop of it. It was pretty gross, I guess. More slaughterhouse than tavern, it was not exactly the sort of ambiance people crave in a dining experience. Most of the customers had already relocated to the next inn down the street. The ones who’d stayed were weeping and rocking back and forth.

Heck, I couldn’t blame the guy. If it had been my inn, I’d have been pissed, too. Still, I’d just decimated a small army of trolls and wasn’t in the mood for a lecture, so I put on my best penitent face. In addition to sorcery, I’m an expert at looking cute.

“Gee, mister. I know my companion and I caused you a lot of trouble, but,” I lifted my chin and looked doe-eyed at the old man and whispered, “if we hadn’t, they would’ve killed us!” I slipped the hand that was behind my back out of my glove, and then into my pocket. Just as I expected, the old guy’s scowl was softening.

So far, so good!

“Perhaps…”I drew three gemstones from my pocket, but kept them concealed in my fist. “Perhaps you’ll accept these as an apology?” I grasped the old man’s wrist with one hand and emptied the gemstones into his palm with the other. He still couldn’t see what he was holding, though he must’ve guessed from how they felt. Nonetheless, I couldn’t allow him to avert his gaze. I kept his eyes fixed on mine and held his wrist in a gentle embrace. You can imagine the effect it was having on him.

“Please understand, I fear this meager offering is inadequate as an apology, but it’s the best I can do.” I bit my cheek so that my eyes would well up a little.

Finally, I relaxed my hold on his wrist. The owner glanced down into his palm, then closed it approvingly over what he’d seen there.

“Well, miss. Since you put it that way, what can I say? I’ll have one of my boys in to clean up this mess. Why don’t you just head back to your room and get some rest?”

Score!

Usually, when there’s trouble like that at an inn, you get run out of town immediately. I figured that was what was going to happen, and I was okay with it. If someone asks you to leave, I advise leaving. No point in staying where you’re not wanted, right? It’s not that I learned that one the hard way, but trust me, you’d do well to take my advice. On the other hand, forking over a little, um, token—like a gemstone, perhaps—sends the message that you’re genuinely sorry. It also implies that there might be more stones where those came from, and that the innkeeper would benefit from turning a blind eye to such innocuous eccentricities. That business with the doe eyes and the soft hands doesn’t hurt either.

I bowed my head humbly several times as Gourry and I backed away in the direction of our rooms.

Speaking of Gourry, guess who was pretty annoyed with me? He shot me a disapproving look as soon as we turned the first corner. It served me right, I suppose. I hadn’t been entirely honest with him after all, had I?

You didn’t have to answer so quickly.

“You’ve got balls,” he sighed. “I’ll say that for you.”

I was leaning with my hip against the bed as Gourry spoke. “I don’t think I understand,” I said, trying to play dumb.

He wasn’t buying it.

Then I realized something. “Gourry, what are you doing in here? This is my room!”

“You promised me an explanation, didn’t you?”

“Did I?”

“You did.”

Ah. Well, okay then. I had a few questions for him as well. Might as well get them all out of the way at the same time. “Okay, fair enough. But first, I have a question for you.”

“I’m an open book, little lady. Shoot.”

Not that little lady crap again.

“Okay, sit.”

Gourry grabbed the closest chair and straddled it. “I’m sitting.”

“Now, tell me this,” I said, leaning in and staring him squarely in the eye. “How do you feel about me?”

Silence.

Gotcha.

He nearly hyperventilated.

“Gourry, I’m kidding… just kidding.”

He let out a loud sigh like he’d just been spared the torture chamber.

“Aw jeez, Lina. That was downright cruel. I thought I was going to die there for a sec—”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

Men.

“Seriously, Lina, what is it you want to know? I’ll tell you anything but my measurements—those are top secret.”

Ha ha. Don’t quit your day job, funnyman.

“How’d you know those guys were coming after me?”

“I didn’t know any such thing.”

Denying it was useless. “Hey, you said it. Right before those trolls barged in, you said, ‘It looks like I’m going to see what you can do in a second.’”

“Oh, that,” he answered, unfazed. “They were obviously after someone on the inside. I just guessed they were trying to get back something that had been stolen. Call it an educated guess.”

“What made you think it was me? There were at least a dozen people—”

“Hey listen, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but it wasn’t all that tough. I figured they had to be after you because you’d stuck your nose somewhere it didn’t belong. You seem to be the type who finds trouble.”

Bull’s eye.

What was I going to do, argue? I like to think I have better judgment than most people, but he was right. I do have a kind of genius for finding trouble. Big Sis used to say the same thing about me back home.

“That sounds like a reasonable line of thought?”

“Yeah,” I admitted.

“Any other questions?”

“No.”

“Okay, my turn. Exactly why were those guys after you?”

I let out a sigh. “It’s a long story.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Shoot.”

So, I told him the whole sordid story about how, after I’d seen those awful bandits robbing and killing innocent villagers;

I’d set out to avenge the villagers, exterminate the bandits, and return the stolen goods (minus a small fee to cover my expenses, of course). And that was why they were after me.

What?! Did you expect me to tell Gourry I attacked them because I was bored and broke. Fat chance. Anyway, it’s not like he’d have believed me anyway. He likes me. I just told the poor guy what he wanted to hear. Really, I was doing him a favor…. Don’t look at me like that!

When I finished my monologue, Gourry nodded heavily.

“I understand completely. That sort of thing happens all too often when people try to do the right thing.”

Tee hee. Hook, line, and sinker. He was buying it. Not just going along with it, but really buying it. It looked that way, anyway.

“Yeah, don’t I know it,” I said, and then I nudged the conversation in a different direction. “There’s something else that’s bothering me, though.”

“What’s that?”

“Those guys couldn’t have seen my face before they picked me out. And yet, they were definitely after me specifically. The one guy must have been a sorcerer.”

“Bandage Man?”

“Yeah, has to be. And they must’ve been expecting to catch me by surprise. They’re hurt now, but they’ve probably only pulled back until tomorrow. I don’t think we lost them.”

“You think he used magic to find you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Magic users can do anything, huh?”

“No, not anything. There’s stuff that magic can’t do. For example, the mummy man must have put a magic mark on something before I took it. That’s probably how he tracked me. Without a beacon of some kind, even the best sorcerer can’t track people that easily.”

“Oh, I get it…” Gourry said, but he didn’t sound like he got it.

“Yep, you got it,” I played along. “Any other questions?”

“No, teacher.”

“Very funny. Then let’s wrap up this—”

Someone knocked.

We moved simultaneously to either side of the door. Gourry put his hand on the knob.

“Who is it?” I called.

“Someone who wishes to make a transaction. I will pay whatever price you name for an object that you possess,” said the voice on the other side of the door.

“You’ll pardon us if we say that sounds suspicious, won’t you?”

“Indeed. I don’t suppose that I would open the door if our roles were reversed,” responded the voice.

Uh… “So… you’re advising us not to let you in?” Why isn’t anything ever easy?

“I am merely being honest. I am also being honest when I say that I mean you no harm at this time.”

At this time? What the heck’s that supposed to mean? “So maybe you’ll change your mind after we let you in?”

“You needn’t be concerned, though I recognize that saying so may be useless. Perhaps it would be more persuasive to remind you that you do have a reliable bodyguard.”

My “bodyguard” and I looked at each other.

“Good point. All right, any funny stuff and I’m warning you, I’ll nail you with an attack spell on the spot.”

“Lina?! You’re not seriously going to let him in… ?” Gourry was flustered.

“It’ll be okay. I have a reliable bodyguard, remember?” I spoke softly and winked. I left my position by the door and walked to the center of the room.

“I’m opening the door. Come in nice and slow,” I warned. “Go ahead, Gourry. Open it.”

A moment later, Gourry did as I asked, and I got my first good look at the man who wanted to make me a deal.

A Hard Man is Good to Find

He certainly was a sight to behold. His entire body was covered in white. He wore a white mantle, a white robe, and a white hood. Everything was swathed in white, but his eyes. And there was someone with him.

“Great. It’s you.” My expression changed as I recognized the mummy man from earlier.

The pair entered the room slowly, the mummy man dragging his feet just enough to flatter me. Gourry closed the door behind them, and the mummy man’s entire body trembled as he glanced back over his shoulder.

The man in white, however, did not move a muscle.

They stopped in the very center of the room, halfway between Gourry and me.

“You two have met, then?”

“Oh yeah, we go way back. Why, just this afternoon we were painting the town red,” I said.

If such a thing is possible, the mummy blanched. The man in white lifted up a hand to keep him in his place.

“We’re always cutting up, aren’t we, my bandaged buddy?”

Guess not.

“My regrets,” said the guy in white. “This is my associate, Zolf. He is most loyal, if overzealous at times. I ask you to please forgive his actions.”

“Fine by me. I’ll just jack up the price,” I sneered. Just then, I noticed for the first time that the man in white was not entirely human. The light in the room wasn’t great, but I could still make out through his hood’s opening that the skin around his eyes was stone. I’d never seen anything like it before, and at first, I thought I was imagining it, but no… no, the guy’s face was made of stone.

Maybe he’s a golem? I considered it. But golems are created to be servile, and this dude’s eyes sparkled with the glint of free will. He was, without a doubt, his own sovereign.

“You are quite the businesswoman. Shall we commence with negotiations?”

“Sure. So, you want to buy an object…”

“I do indeed. One of the objects that you… uh… liberated from a certain band of thieves a short time ago.”

“Any object in particular?”

“I will not say.”

How’s that? I cocked an eyebrow. “You will not say?”

“I will not.”

“I believe we have hit our first bump in the road, then.”

“If I were to specify which object I desire, you might withhold that item from sale, merely out of curiosity, might you not? Here is what I propose: We agree in advance on a price for each object; then I take the one that I desire. I will pay the agreed-upon price at that time.”

“Clever. You know, I don’t remember seeing you at the bandit camp.”

“You did not. I am merely an admirer of the object in question.”

So he says.

“I had initially dispatched Zolf to search for it. He managed to infiltrate the bandit troupe and, using the tracking skills of the thieves, to locate and acquire the object. He too was intent on liberating it from the bandits at the first opportunity, but then…”

“I arrived.”

“Correct.”

“You used the bandits to do your dirty work.”

“I do not think you are in any position to judge.”

Touché. “Okay, I get the general idea. Let’s cut to the chase. The goods are: a statue, a sword, and various old coins. Certainly you’re not interested in the gemstones. They’re ordinary gemstones and not worth much, let alone ‘any price you name.’”

The man in white nodded slowly. “Correct.”

“So okay, let’s start with the blade…” I named my prices in succession.

The man in white was literally taken aback. He actually stepped backward, while the mummy man gawked with both his eyes and mouth wide open. Gourry just stared, dumbfounded (of course).

Men are really not good at this shopping thing.

He said he’d pay whatever price I named. So what’s with the shock?! I asked for a hundred times the street price, which is, granted, enough to buy about a castle and a half, but he said “whatever price you name!” If he’d meant, “whatever price you name WITHIN REASON,” he ought to have said so! Serves him right, if you ask me. Give me the chance to dream, and I’m going to dream big. That’s just the kind of gal I am.

“I came prepared to pay two or three times the street price,” the man in white spat out. “Not a hundred.”

I laughed. Because it was funny.

“This is not a game,” he said, sounding impatient.

“I suppose not. All right, just for you—bargain basement! I’ll cut my prices by half.”

“Half?!”

“Sure. Fifty-percent sale on stolen objects! Get ‘em while they’re hot, boys!” So to speak. Stolen goods. Hot. Get it?

“How dare you,” hissed the mummy man.

“Silence, Zolf!”

How dare I? It wasn’t that hard. I’m daring. It’s what I do.

“I don’t suppose you’ll accept installments, will you?” the mummy snarled under his breath.

“Not likely. I’m also not going to agree to any insulting conditions while I’m being treated like a little kid by a third-rate sorcerer who can’t tell the difference between a fireball and a lighting spell.”

“W-what?” The mummy man’s voice rose an entire octave when he realized that he’d been taken by a phony fireball. “You—! First of all…” He paused to take a deep breath before reading off the litany of my offenses, but the man in white intervened.

“Zolf! I asked you to be quiet!”

The mummy man tucked tail and whimpered at the rebuke.

“Then, as my final offer, perhaps you’ll consider joining us? In a year—no, half a year—you would be paid two, or perhaps as much as three times what you’ve asked for.”

“Hmmm,” I said, crossing my arms and scratching my chin in the universal gesture for “I’m thinking it over.”

“If I refuse your offer,” I asked at last, “you’ll declare me your enemy, won’t you?”

The man in white did not reply. He simply twitched his right eyebrow.

“I’m afraid I must decline your kind offer. I try to make a practice of avoiding your type at all costs. Call it woman’s intuition.”

“Hmph,” he hmphed.

“And intuition or not,” I said, eyes on the mummy, “I’d rather die than be associated with the likes of you.”

Zolf leaned forward and was about to say something he probably thought was both witty and vicious, but the man in white put a stop to that.

Both fear and ferocity met in the space between the man in white and me. The strength of this guy’s will was palpable. He was no ordinary being. We continued to glare at each other for several long moments.

He sighed loudly. “You are a stubborn woman. It seems our negotiations have reached an impasse.”

“That’s too bad,” I said, feigning disappointment.

“Yes. Yes it is. As agreed, I will retire for the evening. Then, as of sunrise tomorrow, I will no longer be honor-bound and will assail you with all my might. You and I will become enemies the moment you set foot outside this inn.”

I nodded almost imperceptibly to indicate my understanding.

He turned his back to me slowly. “Let’s go, Zolf.”

“B-but…”

The man continued toward the threshold, where Gourry held the door.

Zolf hesitated for a moment, then followed the man outside.

“The man in white turned to face us as he spoke. “Oh! I am called Zelgadiss.”

“I’ll remember that,” I replied, dead serious.

Gourry closed the door with a small thud. He waited until he was sure our guests were out of earshot before he finally spoke. “Did you seriously think you’d get your asking price?”

“Of course not! What did you expect me to do—sell the object to that bunch, no questions asked? Are you nuts?”

Gourry shook his head and sighed. He didn’t think I could tell, but even from across the room, I could see he was smiling.

* * *

“Funny how I never get tired of that beautiful sky.” I was lying faceup on a green field, staring up at the clear, clear blue. The sun was warm on my face; the earth was warm on my back. It felt really nice.

We’d finally reached the end of the path that cut through the forest.

The air around us was alive with the songs of birds and thick with the smell of blood.

“Yessiree. That sure is a beautiful sky”

“Hey, Lina…” came a voice from my left. He was lying face up on the field, too.

“Yes, Gourry?”

“I don’t think we should be taking it this easy. Especially while others are still fighting.”

Did I mention the heaps of berserker corpses on the ground behind Gourry and me? No? Well, there were heaps of berserker corpses on the ground behind Gourry and me.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I did fight, though… a little.” “Yeah, you did. I saw you. And I’m not begrudging you that. I’m just saying, you cast one attack spell—which was good—and then you said, ‘I’ll leave the rest to you,’ and that was it.”

“I guess it might seem like that’s what I did.”

“No, Lina, I assure you, that is what you did.” Using his sword like a cane, he rose slowly to his feet.

“I’d like to rest a little bit longer,” I said.

Gourry turned his head toward me, “We’ll be an easy target for them if we don’t get to the next town by day’s end. Get up, Lina. We’re going.”

He wasn’t being unreasonable, but I didn’t feel like tearing myself away from the clouds just yet. I was pretty exhausted from all the hard work I’d done earlier.

“Liiiinaaaa,” he crooned, like a father to his child. Hoping I’d get up and follow, he started to walk away at an unusually slow pace.

“Just five more minutes. It’s nice and warm here. It feels really good.”

“That’s enough!” he shouted and, turning, grabbed my mantle above my right shoulder, jerking me up.

“AAAHHHH!”

The pain was unbearable. My forehead struck the ground as I collapsed, clutching my right hip.

It’s an embarrassing thing to admit, but I have to confess that I’m not very good with pain. Placing my right hand over my wound and focusing my energy there, I managed to croak out a healing spell in an uneven vibrato. It felt like it took a hundred years, but finally the pain receded. A light wound would have healed very quickly, but this one? This one was probably going to take awhile.

“Lina?”

“Hmmm?” I remained as calm as I could under the circumstances. Not that I thought I was fooling anybody, but just for my own well-being.

“You’re hurt?”

I managed a small smile, making it look as feminine as I possibly could.

“It’s just gas, “ I cooed sweetly.

Gourry’s gaze dropped from my face down toward the hip

I was clutching.

“Ugh!” A sharp stab of pain made me yelp again. Gourry abruptly thrust a hand under my mantle and located my wound—it was on my right side.

The dampness he felt there made him pull back his hand in surprise and (knowing Gourry) disgust.

“You’re…” His voice was filled with alarm. “You’re bleeding!”

“Oh, I’m all right,” I said putting on a brave face. I didn’t mean it as a deception, though. The pain really was diminishing.

“You say you’re all right….”

“I am all right, Gourry, I promise. I cast a healing spell just a few minutes ago. I’ll be as good as new in a little bit….” “But—”

“Look, I’d rather have you think I’m lazy than asking me if I’m all right every ten seconds!”

“Sorry…”

“No! No, it’s okay. Just… just let me rest a little bit longer while I heal, all right?”

“Y-yeah… sure.” So Gourry sat in front of me, watching me heal. Which was just about as productive as watching water boil. I was glad he was concerned, but I don’t like people to see me when I’m weak. It makes me feel icky. And there’s nothing worse than feeling weak and icky.

“So you’ve been hurt all this time?” he asked. “You weren’t cloud-watching. You had your hands full trying to heal yourself. I’m so sorry I misunderstood….”

“I told you, Gourry, it’s okay.”

He grew silent. For a while, all we could hear was the wind. “They’re after that thing again,” I said, breaking the silence. “I looked into some stuff while I was alone last night.”

“What stuff?”

“Stuff like what kind of magical mark the mummy man could have placed on whichever object he wanted to track down.”

“Figure anything out?”

I shook my head.

“We’re talking about an Orihalcon goddess statue; a sharp, broad-bladed knife, and a bunch of collectible gold coins. None of these items has any sort of magic mark.”

“Well, what next… ?”

“I think we can rule out the coins. It seems pretty clear that he’s after one object, not a group of objects. That leaves the knife and the statue.”

“Should you be talking so much while you’re wounded?”

“What? Oh, I’m all right. I’m almost fully healed now.”

“Almost fully healed is not fully healed!”

Jeez! Thanks, dad. “I said I’m okay! So anyway, the magic that’s on the knife is probably there to keep it sharpened. It’s not a very high-quality spell. Still, it might carry the mark. On the other hand, the statue is made of Orihalcon, a rare metal that has the power to seal in magic.”

“So you can’t mark that?”

“Yes and no. If you went to the astral plane, you could track the spiritual energy the metal gives off…. Do you see where I’m going here?”

“No clue.”

“Suffice it to say, he could mark either one.”

“More important, why is he so emphatic about whatever it is he wants?”

“That’s just it! I can’t figure it out. Orihalcon is a valuable metal, and the knife’s the product of decent craftsmanship, but there’s nothing eye-popping about either object. But something is making him desperately want one of these items.”

“He said that in half a year he’d give you three times the price you demanded. So, it must be worth even more to him. Maybe the object is supposed to show him where some kind of buried treasure is hidden or something.”

I know what you’re thinking because I thought it, too. The buried-treasure concept sounds like something from a fairy tale, right? Agreed. But it also makes a lot of sense.

“You mean it might be some kind of key. That’s brilliant,” I replied.

“It is?” Gourry was the one who’d thought of it, but he didn’t seem overwhelmed with confidence in his own theory “A magic key! Yes, that could totally be it! I’ve heard of nobles using that kind of thing to safeguard their mansions. Let’s say there’s a fountain in a courtyard that opens up into a treasure vault when a certain young woman enters. In a case like that, the young woman is the key.”

“So this key… could be anything, magical or not, right?”

“Correct.”

“So, if the statue or the knife’s in the right place—”

“Something might happen. Or not.”

“I think I get the gist.”

“It’s not much of an idea, yet. However…” I rose to my feet somehow. Walking was still a bit difficult, but it wasn’t impossible.

“Whoa, there…”

“Jeez, I’m fine. I’m a little worn out, but not helpless.”

As Gourry stood, he eyed me as if I were made of glass.

“Ack!” I cried out as Gourry hoisted me in his arms. It didn’t hurt, it just startled me. “H-hey! Just what do you think you’re doing?!” My face turned the color of a poppy as he explained exactly what he thought he was doing.

“I’m going to carry you for a little while. Just until it’s easier for you to walk.”

“I’m FINE! And you’re tired, too, Gourry…”

“My grandma always made me promise to be nice to little girls,” he said with a wink.

If he’d left out the “little girl” part, I probably wouldn’t have hit him. Oh, well.

* * *

There they go again!

Footsteps. At first, I thought the floor creaking was my imagination. I was exhausted, after all. I’d lain awake most of the night, thinking things over, unable to sleep. What a lucky break that turned out to be! These footsteps weren’t being made by people who’d been out drinking and were finally dragging themselves back to their rooms. These were clearly the footsteps of people sneaking around in the middle of the night, very distinctly trying not to sound like people sneaking around in the middle of the night.

I slipped out of bed. Of course, I couldn’t be sure I was the one being snuck up on, but I figured the chances were pretty good so I might as well be prepared. The footsteps came closer.

I picked my mantle up off the floor.

What? Where did you think it would be? Don’t you know me better than that by now?!

I tucked the mantle under the bed covers, arranging it to look like a sleeping body. I made sure to move very, very quietly.

In no time at all, the footsteps stopped right outside my door. A second later, the door was kicked in and a handful of male silhouettes filed into the room. They headed straight for my bed. There was a terrific moment when they realized the lump under the covers wasn’t me. Silhouettes bumped into one another, jumped up and down, and cursed.

“Well, where the hell is she?!” one of them shouted in frustration.

“Right here, dummy!”

Did I just say that out loud? I knew the second it came out of my mouth that I’d made a big mistake.

Too late to do anything about it now, I thought as I rose to my feet. Besides, I wasn’t a complete idiot. The whole time I’d been sitting there, I’d been preparing. In fact, I’d just finished chanting my spell.

I held my hands together in front of my chest, and began, slowly, to separate my palms. A glittering ball of light appeared in the space between them. It wasn’t a lighting spell this time. This was the real deal: a fireball.

The silhouettes turned toward me, but it was too late. I tossed the fireball into the room and rushed out into the corridor, slamming the door shut behind me.

Of course I made extra sure to check the corridor for other assassins. You really don’t have faith in me, do you?

A fireball detonating behind closed doors normally has double its usual destructive force, FYI.

KA-BOOM!

It was a pretty serious explosion. My fireballs are first-rate, capable of melting steel with a direct hit.

“What the—! What was that?!” Gourry shouted as he rushed from his room. Since he was a mercenary, he and I had a lot in common. Just like me, Gourry was always armed and dressed for an emergency.

“Assassins!” That one word was enough to sum up the situation.

“Did you get ‘em?”

“Dunno!” I confessed. If the attack had come a day earlier, I wouldn’t have hesitated. But, sure enough, as soon as I’d spoken, the door of the room burst open and a flood of silhouettes poured out, accompanied by the stench of burning flesh.

“Dammit!”

Gourry drew and struck with his sword in a single motion. One of his opponents went down. Our newly visible foes were a human wielding a sword and wearing simple armor, with an army of trolls as backup. It didn’t look good.

Gourry took down his second opponent. Unfortunately, the trolls could tolerate both the burns all over their bodies and the cuts from Gourry’s sword, and still keep coming.

They didn’t even seem like average-ability trolls! These guys were polished.

His third opponent; however, was human, middle-aged, and stocky “So you’re with the girl, are you, boy?” the man said, locking swords with Gourry.

“Not bad yourself, pops?”

“That’s the product of experience.”

The two leapt back simultaneously. The first troll that Gourry had put down was getting back onto his feet. That’s regeneration for you. But it wasn’t the time to be admiring Nature’s wonders. We were in a terrible pickle.

It seemed inevitable that while Gourry and the old man were fighting, the trolls would turn their attention my way. Normally I wouldn’t be overly concerned, but right then, I didn’t have the strength to defend myself against an entire army of trolls. My magic was at its absolute weakest point.

The fight should’ve been over the moment Gourry rushed from his room. When he asked, “Did you get them?” I should have answered, “Of course,” and winked in that cute little way I do… and then we’d both have proceeded to put out the fire in my room. Cue the fat lady!

But, no. All I’d managed to do was singe their clothes and hair a bit. I didn’t have the strength to do any real magic.

Mind you, my sword skills aren’t bad at all. They might not be on Gourry’s level, but I do have confidence in my abilities… against human opponents. But, if you can’t use magic, the only way to kill a troll is to lop off its head in a single stroke.

I’d like to restate for the record that it wasn’t that I was helpless with a sword; it was just unlikely that I’d be able to separate a troll’s head from its body in one blow. I’d have to rely on Gourry to do the heavy-duty fighting while I used whatever magic I could against the enemy.

My best bet would be to trick them somehow.

The fact that the battlefield was a narrow inn corridor meant that the enemy couldn’t attack all at once. They’d have to come at us in waves.

That, at least, was the good news.

“Let’s get on with it!” hollered the old man, obviously ready to fight.

Just then, the trolls halted in their tracks. The old man suddenly seemed to be staring into space. There was no spark of life in his eyes at all. It had to be a puppetry spell.

Puppetry is not a particularly difficult technique. Trolls and other simple-minded creatures fall prey to it easily Ordinarily, a puppetry spell is used on a single opponent, allowing the sorcerer to use his or her opponent as a tool for a specified amount of time. However, using it on all the trolls and the old guy simultaneously was well beyond the capabilities of any average sorcerer. This particular practitioner had to possess great power.

“Uh, what’s with them?” Gourry inquired.

A lone priest beat me to the reply. “It is difficult to have a conversation in this inn when the other guests are causing such a ruckus,” he said.

The priest, unnoticed until now, had been standing quietly behind the trolls, near the exit. He seemed friendly enough. I couldn’t get a handle on his age. He looked both young and old at the same time, and I couldn’t see his eyes, as he kept both of them tightly shut.

Usually priests’ robes are white, possibly accented with violet or pale green, or a color associated with the primary deity in his or her congregation.

But this priest’s robes were a deep-red color. It was a blood red, or possibly poison red, I couldn’t be sure in the corridor’s dim light.

“To whom do we owe thanks for our rescue?” I asked.

“I am but another guest staying at the inn. I noticed something suspicious and decided to investigate the matter.”

“Sounds just like you, doesn’t he?” whispered Gourry. I ignored him completely. This was serious business.

“And you’ve put the rest of the guests under a sleeping spell?”

The man’s face indicated the affirmative. “What gave it away?”

“Pretty simple, really. No one’s come by to investigate all that racket we were making.”

“A crowd of curious bystanders would have made a difficult situation much worse—”

“So what’s all this got to do with you?” I interrupted.

The priest snapped his fingers. At his command, the trolls and their companion marched away in single file, as if under a sorcerer’s control.

 “I have seen this group before. They are minions of Zelgadiss.”

“You know him?”

“I do,” the priest nodded. “Zelgadiss seeks an object that you possess. His purpose is to revive the Dark Lord Shabranigdu.”

Well now, this was turning out to be serious business.

“Huh? What’s Sha… Shabra-whosiwhatsit?” Gourry asked, embarrassing me horribly.

“I’ll explain later,” I replied through gritted teeth. Kids these days. Yeesh.

“Wait. You’re not kidding about this?” he asked.

“No, Gourry. Not even the tiniest bit.” I turned to the priest. “Please, go on.

“I assure you, Zelgadiss is a deadly serious concern. He is a chimera—composed of man, golem, and blow demon. He is plotting to use the immense power of the Dark Lord to rend the world asunder.”

“That’s nuts. Why would he want to do something like that?” The priest turned his head. “I do not know. I am certain only that he is, and must be, our mutual enemy.”

Uh-huh. I have a bad feeling about this.

“Our mutual enemy? Wait… when did you become his enemy?”

“I am a priest. I cannot simply stand by while someone—or something—seeks to revive the Dark Lord.”

“Okay, that makes sense…” I mused aloud and folded my arms while Gourry looked on beside me, completely lost.

“So, you want to fight him together?”

“No, I could not make such a request.” The priest shook his head, obviously flustered. I have that effect on my elders.

“It is my guess that by chance you unknowingly came into possession of the key to releasing the Dark Lord, and he has made you his enemy as a result. Am I correct in making that assumption?”

“Something like that.”

“Perhaps it would be best if you gave me the key. No further involvement would be required of you.”

“Under these circumstances, wouldn’t it be best if I just destroyed the key—”

“No! You must not!” the priest shouted, disconcerted. “That is how the Dark Lord is to be revived.”

“But, if we give you the key, you’ll have to battle him all by yourself.”

“You need not be concerned for me. Certainly he is a difficult opponent, but I Rezo the Red Priest, have no intention of being defeated by the likes of Zelgadiss.”

The Red Priest? “You mean, you’re Rezo the Red Priest?” I asked, blushing.

“That is how I am called,” he said, smiling bitterly.

Rezo the Red Priest is famous the world over not only for his simple red vestments, but also for his good deeds. He is a master of spiritual powers equal to those of the High Priest of Saillune, and one of the Five Great Sages of our age; a master not only of the White Magic associated with priests, but of Shamanic Magic and Black Magic, as well. He is known to have only two faults: He was born completely blind in both eyes, and… oh, shoot. I know there was another one… oh, that’s it! His name makes him sound like a villain. He’s so famous, every five-year-old in the world knows who he is.

I felt a tugging on my mantle from behind. It was Gourry.

“So… he’s famous?”

You bonehead. “Yes! I’ll explain later.”

I regained my composure and continued my dialogue with the celebrated priest. “If that is the case, you must allow us to do battle by your side.”

“Well…”

“C’mon! After hearing all that, I can’t just say, ‘Sure, here you go. Good luck fighting the big, bad demons,’ now can I?”

“I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I assure you…”

“No, no, no! It’s not that I doubt your abilities—that’s not it at all. But, if the Dark Lord is revived, no one will be safe. I realize my powers are nowhere equal to your own, but surely I c an assist Your Holiness in fulfilling your mission.”

The priest’s expression showed concern. “But…”

“Now, don’t go worrying about us either! I’m a pretty top-notch sorceress, and Gourry here’s a damn good swordsman. We won’t slow you down.”

The priest sighed heavily. “Very well, then. It seems I cannot turn away one so determined to serve the greater good.”

“Yes!”

“When the time comes, we shall go into battle together.”

“Right on!”

Gourry tugged on my mantle from behind repeatedly. I ignored him.

“In the meantime, I will safeguard the key,” said the priest.

Nuh-uh, you won’t. I shook my head.

The priest was visibly perturbed.

“They don t know we’ve joined forces. With all due respect, I think it’s best for Gourry and I to draw the enemy off while you support us from the shadows… Your Holiness.”

“But… that strategy puts you in great danger. I should be the decoy.”

“Noooo, if you have the key, they’ll know we’ve made contact. If they know that, then our plan will be exposed, and having a decoy will be pointless.”

“That may be the case, but…”

“Your Holiness, that is the case. Please trust me.”

I would understand if you started to think something fishy was going on about now Gourry sure seemed like he thought so.

“Very well! I will leave the key in your hands for the time being.” That said, the priest walked toward my room.

What the… ?!

He withdrew a small ball from his pocket and tossed it inside the open doorway. Then, he quietly chanted a spell. It seemed like a resurrection spell, but slightly different. Then, just as soon as he had started to chant, he stopped. I wasn’t even sure he had finished.

“I will return to my own room. As agreed, I will assist you from the shadows from tomorrow forward. Sleep well.” He started walking off before he’d even finished speaking.

“Well, your room looks totally normal.” Gourry said, as he peeked his head inside. “What on earth did he do?”

“Let me see…” I peeked into the room as well.

Wow! I was completely speechless.

As Gourry said, the room looked totally normal. Right down to the unmade bed and the cheap white curtains. Everything was exactly the same as it was before I tossed my fireball.

If the room had stayed crispy, I was in for a nasty lecture from the innkeeper the next morning. I hadn’t considered what I was going to do about that, but now I wouldn’t have to. Rezo the Red Priest had restored my room to its pre-firebomb condition. Thanks, Rezo!

“He’s good.” I whistled appreciately.

“Oh yeah? What’s so good about him?”

“Let’s save it for tomorrow. Right now, I need some shut-eye. I can’t be fighting bad guys without my beauty sleep.” As I spoke, I closed the door to my room and entered Gourry’s, curling up in a corner.

“Um… excuse me there, little lady.” Gourry called out to me. “You’re in my room…”

“I know.” I explained it as simply as I could: “If I go back to my room, there might be another attack.”

“How would being in my room—?”

“Two people are more reassuring than one.”

“Got it. You sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“I can’t do that. I’m imposing as it is.”

“… Fine, fine.”

Knowing he couldn’t sway me, Gourry lay down in a corner on the opposite end of the room.

“Er… why don’t you sleep in the bed?” I was the one asking this time.

“A man can’t sleep in a bed while a girl’s sleeping on the floor,” he announced. Clearly, this was the obvious truth.

I managed a strained smile.

“Well, suit yourself… good night, Gourry.”

“Night-night, little lady.”

Sigh. He really is a good guy. I just wish he wouldn’t treat me so much like a kid.

* * *

“So, you really don’t know anything about Ruby Eye Shabra-nigdu, the Dark Lord?” I asked him as we walked shoulder-to-shoulder down a sunlit path. The bit of forest around us looked exactly like the one we’d just hiked a few days before. Seeing the same trees over and over and over again was getting on my nerves. And since the road cut through the Great Kresaus Forest all the way to Atlas City, of course that meant we would be seeing a lot more of the same trees before we actually arrived in town. Oh, goody.

“Hmmm…” mumbled Gourry, trying to recall. “Nope, not a thing.”

The legend of Shabranigdu is downright famous, and not just among sorcerers, either! Everybody knows the story. Everybody except Gourry, apparently.

I let out a loud sigh. “All right. I’m only going to tell the story once, so listen carefully.”

“Listening.”

I sighed again, and doubted that Gourry was even capable of understanding the philosophical weight of what he was about to hear. I guessed not, but I went on with the story anyway, figuring that as long as we were stuck walking through monotonous rows of trees, I might as well make an effort to entertain myself.

“The universe comprises more worlds than just the one in which we live. A very, very long time ago, a countless number of staves were thrust up into the Sea of Chaos and around each stave there formed a world, both flat and round. Imagine the earth as a pie with a stick thrust into it from below. Like that! And one of those worlds is the one we’re living in right here and now.”

I pointed at the ground, just in case “here and now” was a tough concept for Gourry to grasp. While this theory represents the prevailing view among sorcerers even today, I was conveying it in a nontraditional way. If I hadn’t, I’m certain it would have flown in one blond-curl-covered ear and right out the other.

“In ancient times, across the many worlds, a great war waged between two great races. One was the Gods, the other the Demon race, Mazoku. The Gods were protectors of the worlds, while the Demons sought to destroy the worlds by seizing the staves on which they were supported.” Lina proceeded, with a deep breath, “On some worlds, the Gods would win—bringing peace. On other worlds, the Demons would win—and the worlds would be destroyed. This war continues to this day, on some of those worlds.

“On our world,” resumed Lina, “the Dark Lord Ruby Eye Shabranigdu; and the God, Flare Dragon Ceipheed, who is also known as the Dragon God, fought for domination. Their battle continued for thousands of years, until finally, the Dragon God split the Dark Lord’s body into seven pieces and sealed up each piece separately across the world.”

“So the Gods won?” Gourry guessed.

I shook my head. “All the Dragon God did was seal the remnants of the Dark Lord. He didn’t destroy them.”

“But still, the Mazoku’s body was cut into pieces, right?”

“That’s not enough to kill a Dark Lord. Anyway, once the remnants of the Dark Lord were sealed, the Dragon God sank into the Sea of Chaos, his power exhausted.”

“He needed a nap… ?”

“It wasn’t a nap! Fearing the eventual revival of the Dark Lord, the Dragon God used the last of his power to divide himself into four different dragon lords, each occupying their respective elements of earth, air, fire, and water. These various dragon lords would protect the four cardinal points—east, west, north, and south. It’s said that division took place about five thousand years ago.

“About one thousand years ago, the Dragon God’s fear was realized. One of the seven pieces of Shabranigdu was restored by a human whose mind and body had been taken over by the Dark Lord in an effort to revive himself.

“When the Dark Lord invaded the north, fighting through the water dragon lord’s well-prepared traps, he prevailed, destroying the water dragon lord in the process. However, his own body became bound to the earth as a result, and he was no longer able to move.”

“Well that didn’t get either of them anywhere,” interjected Gourry.

“It happened because they were practically equal in power,” I explained. “Anyway, that effort destroyed the balance that kept peace in the world, which is what, in turn, made the dark creatures appear.”

“Huh, no kidding?” Gourry seemed pretty impressed. “Well,” I clarified, “whether the myth about the origin of the world is literally true or false, something named Shabranigdu, calling itself the Dark Lord and possessing immense power, existed in this area oh-so-many years ago. And something else had similarly existed in the lands to the north.”

“So…” Gourry paused, putting the pieces together. “That Zel-what’s-his-name guy in white wants to put the seven pieces together and bring this Dark Lord back again?”

“Precisely Assuming what Rezo the Red Priest said is true, that is.”

“Now that you mention it,” Gourry said in a voice approximating a whisper. (I do pride myself on having excellent hearing, remember.) “You spoke pretty highly of that Rezo guy to his face,” he noted, “but I didn’t get the impression you trusted him.”

Bingo, Gourry.

“It’s all a matter of perspective, I suppose…” I spoke in a low voice as well. “How do we know this guy is the real Rezo? Rezo is a living legend, but no one’s reported seeing him in person for at least a decade.”

“So you think one of the bad guys might be calling himself Rezo, just to get close to us?”

“Could be.”

“How do you know I am who I say I am, Lina? You seem to trust me.”

“You think I trust you?” I teased.

“Hey, that’s harsh!” Gourry complained.

“I’m kidding. You don’t look like a guy with ulterior motives.”

“Thanks, little lady,” Gourry said like he was patting a puppy on its head.

Way to ruin a moment, pal. Again!! “Gourry, you really have to stop treating me like I’m a kid,” I pleaded. Honestly, my biggest fear was that I was actually starting to get used to it!

“You keep saying that, but how old are you, anyway?”

“Twenty-five.”

Gourry turned beet red.

“I’m kidding! I’m actually fifteen.”

“Whew, you almost gave me a heart attack there. Ah, so you’re fifteen. You are still a kid, see?”

“What?! Well, I’m… I’m not exactly an adult, but I’m not a little kid, either.”

“Tough age to be, huh?”

“What exactly is that supposed to mean? Look, just… whatever. Let’s forget about it, all right?”

I took a deep breath and tried to return my voice to something resembling a normal tone. “I’m not going to be able to use magic for the next few days. So, you’re going to have to do most of the fighting in the meantime, okay? I’ll help out however I can.”

“You can’t use magic?” He was caught off guard, for sure, but he wasn’t as shocked as I was expecting.

I nodded slowly.

“Oh…” Gourry said, deep in thought. “That time of the month?”

“Gourry!” I was blushing deeply.

“What?” He looked me right in the eyes and repeated, “Well? Is it?”

I averted my gaze. “What do you know about ‘that time of the month’?”

As hard as it is to imagine, women with powers have an even worse time during their period than those who don’t. For two or three days during that time, the powers of sorceresses, priestesses, and shrine maidens weaken to the point where they’re unable to use magic effectively. FYI: The old wives’ tale claiming that a sorceress, who loses her virginity during her period, will become an ordinary, non-magical woman is a myth. My real problem was much simpler, though: My magic powers would remain very low for the next day or so; there-fore, if we were attacked, which we most certainly would be…

Oh, never mind all that. My real problem was how to get over the fact that Gourry, who seemed to have the strength of an ogre and the intellect of a jellyfish (I think that’s a fair assessment), figured out that “I can’t use magic” meant “It’s that time of the month”!

“It’s not a big deal,” he said. Of course it wasn’t a big deal— to him! It was a huge, embarrassing deal to me.

“When I was a kid, about five years old or so,” he went on, “there was this old fortuneteller woman who lived near us. She closed her shop for a few days every month like clockwork. When I asked her why, she smiled and said, ‘It’s that time of the month.’ I figured out that women can’t use magic during that time of the month, but I’ve never really been clear on how exactly they know when it’s the right time of the month to be that time of the month. So what’s the story, Lina? Can you explain it to me?”

Unbelievable! Clearly, I’d been wrong about all that “nice guy” nonsense. Gourry was obviously a horrible cretin who got his jollies by making fun of vulnerable young women. Jerk!

“Whoops! Enough playtime.” Gourry’s demeanor abruptly turned serious. “Looks like we have a problem, little lady”

I stopped walking. Dense forest covered our right flank. There was a large clearing to our left. Directly in front of us, however, stood a man resolutely blocking our way. He wore an overcoat and appeared to be around twenty-two. He was also fairly good-looking, if you happen to have a thing for guys with dark-blue stony skin and silvery, metallic hair. (You never know, you might.) He held a broadsword in both hands.

I realized then who he was.

“So, Mr. Zeligaldiss” Gourry spoke first. The big boss finally shows his face….”

Um. Gourry… ? “I think it’s Zelgedes, isn’t it?”

“ZELGADISS!” the man shouted, obviously annoyed.

Don’t you hate it when people get your name wrong? You’d be shocked to hear the many ways that people can screw up ‘Lina Inverse.’ Seriously, the mind reels.

Gourry said nothing.

I said nothing.

Zelgadiss heard us say nothing and said nothing in reply.

The tension hung in the air, thick as gravy. Lumpy, disagreeable gravy.

Someone had to say something! “That’s what I said!” I blurted out. “Zelgadiss!”

“M-me too…” added Gourry, unconvincingly.

My name is not important,” Zelgadiss shouted back. I wasn’t buying it. He seemed pretty pissed. “I have come for the object. If you still refuse to listen to reason, you will leave me no choice but to take it by force. Choose carefully, Miss Sophia.”

Who…?

Gourry and I each looked around and over our shoulder, just in case Miss Sophia was hiding behind a bush.

“Ooooh!” We both figured it out at the same time. There was no Miss Sophia. That was the name I’d given to Zolf, the mummy fellow, that night at the inn. He must have thought I’d given him my actual name, which he then gave his boss. Dumb as he looks, that guy.

“I’m called Lina!“ I shouted.

“What?” Zelgadiss’ voice was sounding progressively more distraught.

“Liinaa! Sophia was an alias I gave to that Zolf guy,” I explained.

Zelgadiss didn’t react at all. We’d succeeded in our strategy of throwing our opponent off balance using only the weapon of incredibly boring repartee. Cool.

Oh, you laugh, but every good warrior knows half the battle is fought in the mind. It’s a fact. You can look it up.

“Who cares what your name is?” a second voice queried. Whoever the speaker was, he was right behind us. I turned around very slowly and found myself face-to-body hair with… a werewolf!

Or… possibly not a werewolf. He might have been half wolf and half troll; it was tough to tell. Anyway, if the term werewolf didn’t technically apply, then try beast man. Or, dork, though that’s not a technical term, strictly speaking. Regardless, the dude had the head of a wolf and the body of a man. He carried a large scimitar over his shoulder, and he was wearing a really dweeby-looking suit of leather armor. Heh, heh.

“So boss, we just need the goddess statue and that’s it, right?” asked the were-dweeb.

“Dilgear!” Zelgadiss snapped.

Uh oh, you’ve done it now, Dilgear.

Dilgear the dork-wolf took a moment to put together just exactly how he’d screwed up. “Oh… oops! Sorry, boss. We were supposed to call it ‘the object’ around them, huh? Well, it don’t really matter, since I was figuring on killing them anyways.”

I took a step forward, insulted. “Uh, excuse me!” I shouted. “We can hear you, you know. And frankly, I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with. You’re not even in my league, Fido.”

Dilgear narrowed his eyes in my direction.

“You have an awfully big mouth for such a little lady,” he harked. “Let’s see what’cha got!”

“Fine. But a two-on-two fight’s not going to be interesting enough for us with you clowns,” I said, “One-on-two’s plenty for the likes of you. Go ahead, Gourry—get ‘em!”

“What?!” He looked at me like I’d signed him up for suicide duty, which, if you ask me was seriously overestimating Dilgear’s abilities. “W-wait just a second, little lady!”

Dammit, Gourry! I told you you’d have to do the fighting….

“What’s this one-on-two nonsense, anyway?” a third voice piped up. This time it was a voice I’d heard before. “Are you trying to leave me out of the fun?”

I knew it!

The old man, who’d attacked my room with trolls the previous night, appeared and stood beside Zelgadiss. This time he was equipped with a formidable halberd. It was so impressive, in fact, that I found myself wondering just where he did his halberd shopping. I decided, sadly, that would be too weird a thing to ask on the battlefield.

“Hey, three against one isn’t fair!” I exclaimed instead.

“Yeah!” added Gourry, witty as usual.

“I don’t know what you did to us last night, but I’m pretty sure it won’t work today,” said the old man.

He was right. We were at a serious disadvantage. Our chances for escape, let alone victory, were looking pretty slim. I had to think of something.

“Enough waiting! Let’s go!” Zelgadiss moved. Thrusting his right hand out in front of him, he formed a dozen or so Flare Arrows out of the ether.

Flare Arrows! Damn.

Gourry and I leapt for cover, but a moment later the Flare Arrows were striking and exploding between us, filling the air with fire and smoke. We lost sight of each other.

Oh, crap. We’re separated. Not good…

Across the flames, I could hear the high-pitched screech of clashing metal. I figured it was Gourry crossing blades with the enemy. I figured one of the swords for Gourry, but I couldn’t make out his opponent through the haze.

“Gourry!” I yelled in the direction where I heard the sc reeching sound. I caught the glint of someone’s sword. Something whizzed by and barely missed me.

“Ah!” I leapt and drew the sword from my hip.

“Let us see—” In the midst of the weakening flames, a form was becoming visible before me.”—how good you really are!”

“Zelgadiss!”

“Haa!” Zelgadiss slashed. I parried.

“Gii!” I couldn’t see. I lost my balance and nearly dropped my blade.

Zelgadiss was a real pro. His every blow displayed ample speed and power. My strength wasn’t going to hold up against him for long.

Right now; there is no way I can beat him.

I figured I had no choice but to run. I spun around and sprinted into the woods. Zelgadiss would follow me for sure. I planned to lose him in the forest, then get back to the action and support Gourry. That was Plan A, anyway. Too bad there wasn’t a Plan B.

Zelgadiss did pursue me into the forest. That much went as I’d hoped. But once in the forest, he overtook me in an instant. Less than a second inside the trees, I felt a knee hit me hard in the gut.

The counter I attempted with my sword was laughable; I swung and hit nothing but air.

My back slammed into a tree. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.

“Don’t you know you’re not supposed to,” I stopped for a moment to cough up blood, before continuing, “hit girls?” I was down, but not out.

Okay, I was very nearly out. But I was holding on for the time being, trying to get a fix on the direction of my enemy.

“If you’d handed the object over when I requested it, I wouldn’t have had to resort to this nastiness!” he sneered.

His voice gave me a fix on his general location, if not his exact position. I ran in the opposite direction. Zelgadiss pursued.

“Light!” I shouted, lobbing a feeble sphere in his direction. For no other reason than dumb luck, I scored a direct hit.

“Guaahh!” he shrieked. It wasn’t nearly enough to beat him, but it did distract him for a moment.

In my condition, I could manage a lighting spell, but a fireball was out of the question.

I fled, tucked tail, and ran like my life depended on it, because, well, my life depended on it. I didn’t even entertain the notion of mounting a counterattack. I doubted my sword could penetrate stone skin, anyway.

I sped through the woods to the shore of a small lake. I was trapped and exposed. In a panic, I turned back toward the shelter of the forest.

Zelgadiss stood between safety and me.

There was nowhere else to go. I began running along the shore.

“You won’t escape!” he taunted, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him toss something at me.

I tried moving to my left without turning around. But… I couldn’t. Looking back, I saw the metal blade that Zelgadiss had tossed: pinned to the ground, straight through my shadow.

A Shadow Bind! It was a simple but effective technique used to bind an opponent’s movements from the astral plane.

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no!

I tugged at the blade, but it wouldn’t budge. Think, Lina. Think!

I know! I chanted a lighting spell and suspended the sphere directly over the shadow Once I’d eliminated my shadow, my body could move freely again!

Too late! I turned to find myself face-to-face with Zelgadiss.

[cha-eunwoow]

lHello hello hello!!! I am taking a break from homework to work on some tags and pop then into my queue And i am going to start with this super fun kpop tag!, I was tagged by these beautiful babes @jinjinxed (Morgan) 💙💖 and @buffbin (Lara) 💙💖 and i would like to first thank these angels for the tag and recommend you all check out their blogs if you have not already now let’s get into the tag!

1) 5 favorite groups?

Astro

Seventeen

Day6

N.Flying

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

Eunwoo

Jae 

Joshua

Vernon

MJ

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

ASTROOOOOOOOO 

buuuut here is why, I have l o v e d different groups at different times, I have watched a lot of MVs, seen a lot of choreography I have seen so many concepts. I can remember when I first stumbled on Astro I was watching a lyric video and Again ‘should have held onto you’ was suggested to me on the side bar on YouTube, and I was all for giving new music ago. I licked on it and remember being hooked to the intro right off the bat, so you could say Moonbin started it, but I will cut to the chase, I like music that resonates in my heart and emotions Astro did that right off the bat, even though i wasn’t fully reading the lyrics I still felt the emotion behind the song,the first music video I saw was Hide & Seek and never has watching a MV made me smile to the point where my cheeks hurt, and I continue to smile after all day. And I know this is a super duper simple reason to why I love them but Astro makes me happy, they make me so happy. And I love how close you can see they are, how hard they work, and how they all truly have beautiful hearts, and again I know it is such a simple maybe silly reason but because they make me happy and because they make me smile, and that is something we often forget to do. So I hope we can keep smiling with our boys for a very long time

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

Let’s set Eunwoo’s looks aside entirely here, yes he is good-looking, you have to have never seen Eunwoo if you do not think he is attractive and an actual fairytale prince on this earth, but the fact he is greater than his looks and how he truly is, that is what makes him a prince. I fell for his voice the second I heard it because I basically binged Astro songs and just waited for his part, and i am so proud of how much stronger he has gotten vocally. I adore how hard working and smart he is, and despite being just such a high caliber human being already, he is still humble and wants to improve himself, he recognizes his flaws and wants to be better. And speaking of which, he always pushing and going do all of his personal actives but still keeping Astro, what can he do to help Astro, and how can he be his best for Astro and Aroha on his mind. He cares about Astro so much he cried because he was worried about holding them back, which is far from the case. I love how he got nervous and to try to help calm down, he did research on all the hosts on Hello Counselor (him on Hello Counselor was honestly so cute) and how preparing things like that eases his mind. And I could go on about his Singing, his acting, his dancing (I am so proud of him he is always getting better and better), him being multilingual, knowing how to play the piano, or how his eyes light up before he smiles and you just feel the joy from him, his laugh oh my goodness. Or how he maybe quiet at times but you can see the gears turning in his head behind his eyes as he analyzes a situation with a smile on his face.   But to tie this up I really think I love him as much as I do because I see small fragments of myself reflected in his personality and in the way he thinks, and I also cannot help but look up to him (not just because I am short either) and want to be better and aspire to have the sense of maturity that he has about so many things. I want to put my heart into things like he does, and at the end of the day I am so glad that the universe has put me into the same timeline as him, so I can watch him grow and shine. And I also hope we all can aspire to be a little more like Eunwoo at the end of the day

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

Credit to le Petit Prince 

7)  Favorite Kpop MVs

Baby

Very Nice

Crazy Sexy Cool

Clap

I’ll Wait

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs? ( no particular order because that is ha r d )

Baby-Astro

Thanks-Seventeen

Innocent Love-Astro

Pls Don’t be sad-Highlight

Again Should Have Held On To You-Astro

Hot Potato-N.Flying

I Smile-Day6

Hola Hola- K.A.R.D.

With You-Astro 

Likey-Twice 

This was really hard omg 

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

I watch too many of them to pinpoint one but anyting with ‘X groups as vines’ are really funny 

10) Favorite content creator(s) within the fandom?

@beyourstar Jen makes the most beautiful GIFs oh my god I c r y

@sleepyastro leepyastro S K I L L S they got your cute and they got your cool art, and they do beautiful sketches of the boys 

@artist-aroha Kat’s Astro word prompt drawings are always so good oh my god 

@snibnoom Keeps us well updated on top of giving us content we may not otherwise see and then being an artist as well

@sanhatation Riley makes the most beautiful edits, honestly I am in art school and she does graphics better than some of my classmates 

go check all of these amazing blogs if you have not already

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

Astro pretty much, I like to keep this blog all Astro all the time, to the best of my ability

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

jkshjshjsdjkfseare you kidding?? fine omg 

F-Joshua 

M-Eunwoo?? 

K- Jae (I feel like we would roast each other and that just may be a result of it)

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

Amber Liu or Ailee or Jae

14) If you could date any idol, who?

If I even hypothetically could, I don’t even think I would. I don’t even think I’m compatible with anybody what the heck this is hard  I will say Eunwoo and we can see how that could fail and move on.  and when we break up he would be the one my family would keep asking about tbh

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

Dream pt. 1, Autumn Story, or Winter Dream 

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

Idk what this even means 

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

Moonbin or MJ tbh 

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

If you do not thing I would fight Jae or Sanha for being tall, loud, or sassy you are wrong I love them though omg

19) Favorite vocalist?

MJ or Joshua 

20) Favorite Rapper?

Vernon or Jinwoo

21) Favorite dancer?

Moonbin or Minghao 

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

Competitive, always want’s to improve, kinda sarcastic(I’m only saying kinda because lord knows this boy can roast if he wanted to), analytical of situations, we also both like the color blue

23) The most beautiful trait any idol can have?

A beautiful heart and mind

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

• Clap or Swimming Fool- Seventeen

•Be Bazy or Blood-Day6

• Baby - Astro

• play Astro if you want to see my hype 

25) Your worst wrecker?

BIN IS OUT TO DRAG ME AND THAT IS NOT OKAY

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

none so far and none anytime soon

27) Favorite choreo?

Thanks by Seventeen is honestly just so beautiful I cry watching it 

28) Favorite live performance?

this~~~~ X or X

29) Favorite debut mv?

Hide & Seek because how could you not

30) Recommend a rookie group

Dreamcatcher

31.) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

Baby~~~~~

32) Tag some cute mutuals you’d like to get to know better (and to do this challenge)!

@astros-turf @blueberrybins @myunghjun @moonbinandback @jinjins-freckles @jinjinwooz @jinwoowoohoo @parkminhyuk @snibnoom(as rules always go you do not have to do this tag if you do not want to and sorry if you have already been tagged for this but if you have done this tag link me to it💖💙💖)

[goblinsbriide]

I was tagged by @thenextsmile-thenextwish, thank you for tagging me ❤️.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 ppl.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Coke

2. Phone call: Dad

3. Text message: My close friend

4. Song you listened to: All the stars by Kendrick Lamar and SZA

5. Time you cried: About 3 weeks ago

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No

8. Been cheated on: Nah 

9. Lost someone special: Yeah

10. Been depressed: No

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Red.  13. Black.  14. Peach

15. Made new friends: Yess

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried: Nah not yet

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes

20. Found out who your friends are: Yes

21. Kissed someone else on your facebook list: No

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them

23. Do you have any pets: No

24. Do you want to change your name: No, I love my name although its a really common name

25. What did you do on your last Birthday: I just went to the restaurant with my brother and my cousins.

26. What time did you wake up: Around 10:00am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was watching a tv show called Black-ish

28. Name something you can’t wait for: I can’t wait to talk to this person that I realllyyyy like

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: An hour ago

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: Nothing 

31. What are you listening to right now: Tere Mere (reprise) by Armaan Malik

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My brother, he is so annoying

34. Most visited website: Tumblr

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME:

35. Mole/s: none

36. Mark/s: I have few beauty marks and one birth mark

37. Childhood dream: To become a singer

38. Hair Color: Dark Brown

39. Long hair or short hair: They are neither short nor long.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Nah

41. What do you like about yourself: i like the fact that I am really calm

42.  Piercings: Two in both ears.

43. Blood Type: O+

44. Nickname: Muchu, Mushi, Musk, Moxo

45. Relationship status: Single

46. Zodiac: Leo

47. Pronouns: She, her

48. Favorite TV shows: Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Black-ish, The Good Place, Zindagi Gulzar Hai, Grown-ish

49. Tattoos: None

50. Right Or Left: Right

51. Surgery: No

52. Hair Dyed in different colour: No but I would love to do that in future

53. Sport: I don’t like sports

54. Vacation: I will prob go to Banf this summer vacation

55. Pair of trainers: just one

MORE INFORMATION: 

56. Eating: POUTINE AND THE BLUE LAYS MAGIC MASALA CHIPS FROM INDIA

57. Drinking: Coke and water

58. I’m about to: do absolutely nothing except for listening to songs from old shahrukh khan movies❤️ 

59. Waiting for: MY DRIVERS ED CLASSES

60.  Want to get: a new phone

61. Get Married: When I find the right person

62. Career: Lawyer

63. Hugs or kisses: BOTH

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes

65. Shorter or Taller: If it’s a guy taller

66. Older or younger: If it’s a guy then a few years or months older

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: Both

68. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship only

70. Troublemaker or hesitant; hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 

71. Kissed a stranger: Nah

72. Drank hard liquor: Nope and I am never gonna do that

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Lol yeah too many times

74. Turned someone down: Yes

75. Sex in the first date: Nope

76. Broken someone’s heart: I hope not

77. Had your heartbroken: Ahhh yes

78. Been arrested: Nah

79. Cried when someone died: i hope i don’t sound heartless but no I haven’t cried when someone died

80. Fallen for a friend: No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: Yes

82. Miracles: Yes

83. Love at first sight: Nope

84. Santa Claus: Nah

85. Kiss on the first date: No

86. Angels: No

87. MBTI Type: INFP

I’m tagging: @disneyslocket, @zeetvandchill, @h-lessings, @nawaazishein, @tejaaass, @what-is-this-bakwaas, @kul-est, @paulfwesley

[stray-keeds]

Tags!!

ty for tagging me!! @leefelixprincess

1. Rules: Answer 15 questions and tag mutuals you want to get to know better.

Name: Thalea

Nickname: Lea, Thale, Dumpling, call me what you want tho:/

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Height: 156 cm

Languages: Bahasa and Japanese fluently, I can speak English fluently but i feel like i still have to learn how to use the words correctly/?, and also a little Korea and Mandarin

Nationality: Indonesia!! 

Favorite fruit: Kiwi

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: does iced chocolate count?? I don’t really like hot drinks:(

Favorite season: Indonesia only has 2 season but I’ve always liked being in a cold places so winter??

Favorite scents: bubblegum?? i also love peach and apple

Favorite colors: black and light blue

Favorite animals: dogs!!

Average hours of sleep: depends, i usually sleep for 6 hours on weekends and 8 hours on weekdays, sometimes i can sleep for more than 10 hours tho:/

Number of blankets you sleep with: sometimes 2, but i’m sleeping with 1 currently

Dream trip: Osaka or Seoul

Favorite fictional character: Captain America

Blog established: around January, i guess??

2. ABC Tag, rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to know better♥

Age: 17

Birthplace: Indonesia

Current time: 5:56 PM

Drink you had last: Apple juice

Easiest person to talk to: Rachel mymate @dreamingpotahoe

Favorite song: ummm Lovelyz - That day?? It changes almost everyday 

Grossest memory: eating at a Japanese resto and suddenly a rat running out of their kitchen. i choked on my ramen. 

Hogwarts house: gryffindor or slytherin? Idk i love both of them

In love: with bang chan? yes, absolutely yes

Jealous of people: Tall people. They use me as an armrest wtf 

Killed someone: No

Love at first sight or walk by again: I don’t think i can fall in love at first sight, but crush at first sight tho

Middle name: noooopee

Number of siblings: 3

One wish: confidence. 

Person you called last: my brother

Question you’re asked most: “thalea, can you be normal for at least five minutes? i beg you”

Reasons to smile: family, friends, food, chan

Song you last sang: Taylor Swift - Are you ready for it?

Time you woke up: 5:00 am

Underwear color: blue

Vacation destination: umm.. Seoul??

Worst habit: i like to eat ice cubes, even if the weather is cold, i would still eat it.

X-rays: never had one

Your favorite food: chicken. i l o v e them

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

3. 88 Questions

the last:

1. DRINK: apple juice

2. PHONE CALL: my brother

3. TEXT MESSAGE: my brother

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Mirror - Stray kids

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: two days ago, because i fucking broke my ipod

have you:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: no

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: no

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: no??

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yes:(

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: yes, it was around two years ago?? i went to a therapist five times a week that time

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: no

top 3 favorite colors

12. black

13. blue

14. grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yes!!

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: i had to

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: yes, this actually happened pretty often

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: oh yes:)

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: no??

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: yep

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: nope

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: no facebook:/

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a lil puppy 

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: no. i love my name

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: my friends threw a party for my birthday, and they also threw plastics with whipping cream in it at me and i literally spent a hour cleaning myself from whipping cream

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 5:00 am everyday

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: sleep

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: my family vacation

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: i’m seeing her rn

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: i wish i could be more confident:/

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: nothing

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: nope

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: s c h o o l

lost questions

34. MOLE(S): i actually dont have that many

35. MARK(S): i have a very long scar on my thigh oof

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: i always wanted to be a designer

37. HAIR COLOR: i have black hair

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: does shoulder length counts?

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: only kpop idols

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: everything but i like my sarcasm the most

41. PIERCINGS: i got a normal ear piercing on my right eat

42. BLOODTYPE: B

43. NICKNAME(S): Thalea, Lea, Thale, Dumpling 

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single

45. ZODIAC: sagittarius

46. PRONOUNS: she/her

47. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: too many D:

48. TATTOOS: nope, don’t have any

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right handed

50. SURGERY: i had a mouth surgery years ago

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nope, not really interested in dying my hair 

52. SPORT: i play basketball, and i also dance

53. VACATION: i’ve been to Singapore 

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: my fave is black adidas with white stripes on it

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: nothing

56. DRINKING: water

57. I’M ABOUT TO: meet my friends

58. WAITING FOR: my next family vacation 

59. WANT: moneyyyy

60. GET MARRIED: i’m still too young??

61. CAREER: currently on highschool.

62. HUGS OR KISSES: both

63. LIPS OR EYES: eyes 

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: taller!!

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: older but not too old

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: honestly idc both is nice

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: more on the louder side 

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: all my life I’ve only crushed on trouble makers i can see a pattern D:

have your ever:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: no

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yea, and i can’t go to school for a week

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yes

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: no

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: yes

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: yes

77. BEEN ARRESTED: no

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: yes

do you believe in:

80. YOURSELF: yes

81. MIRACLES: yea

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: no?

83. SANTA CLAUS: idk, i want to believe it but i already saw my mother put Christmas gifts in the living room when i’m five so..

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: yes

85. ANGELS: yes

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Rachel and Arie

other

87. EYE COLOUR: dark brown

88. FAVOURITE MOVIE: Harry Potter and the deadly hallows

I’m will tag my mutuals later, because i don’t know whom to tag so...

[medusamyra-blog]

Helloooo! I’ve (finally) filled out the talk tag post to give you guys some info on my version of Medusa! Please let me know if you have any questions about her, or if you’d like to plot! I’m definitely looking for a roommate or two, as well as any other connection under the sun (especially for fellow New Olympians). Let’s get this party started! (Well...it’s been started...for awhile now...I am very late...but for ME it’s a very new party, okay?)

Also I might have made some assumptions here as far as our characters go, so if you see something wonky please tell me

BASICS

full name: Myra Shirin Bahl

The name is commonly associated with the Latin word, myyrh: a bitter resin extracted from a small, thorny plant. Though many bitter things might make you pucker when they first touch your tongue, they are often proven to be very useful, such as in medicinal herbs, or flavoring fine wine. And as they say, many beautiful, wonderful things are known to be protected by thorns. 

any nicknames?: As a child she went by Mimi. She doesn’t use that name anymore. Though she hears some of the folk at Old Olympus call her Medusa behind her back.

age: 25. a quarter of a century, oh no!

birthday/zodiac sign: August 19th, 1992. Leo. A fiery lioness filled with passion. 

height: 5′-6:

any tattoos, piercings?: Though she has done a lot of breaking boundaries and exploring new options for herself, piercings and tattoos have been a little too permanent for her to take the plunge on. Besides a single piercing in each of her ears, her skin remains undecorated for the time being. Though she considers it from time to time, she still wonders if she’ll ever be able to reconnect with her family and her old self, and something like a tattoo is just a little too much of a commitment for the time being. 

FAVORITES

sound: Ocean waves softly kissing the shore ( she sleeps with a soft noise machine when the other apartment tenants are particularly loud )

color: Dusty lilacs and calming blue hues. The color of a clear, cloudless sky. And deep, royal purple ( not just for the matriarchal implications )

person: A multitude of faces rush through her head--her mother, her father, her brother, her ex-lover, her ex-best-friend--before she reminds herself they can’t be her favorite anymore. She has to be her own favorite person now.

memory: It’s hard to pick a favorite memory when so many of the people she shared them with no longer see her in the same light. Every good moment becomes a cherished memory in hindsight. They appear in flashes: peeling carrots with her mother, sharing lighthearted conversation about how men were helpless in the kitchen. Walking down the street as a young girl, holding her father’s hand and feeling so safe, like nothing in the world could touch her with her impenetrable father there to protect her. 

place: Gritty, warm sand beneath her toes, the hot sun on her back, the cool water at her feet. Specifically, the beaches home in Los Angeles (especially Malibu). New York beaches just can’t compare, though when she’s desperate for some sun she’ll use them as a placeholder.

vice: Warm lips on her neck, rough hands on her skin. She never expected to be the type to fall for such carnal pleasures, but once she got a taste, it was an urge that always came back to haunt her. Though it has never been as fulfilling as the first time, with the woman she’d loved, she loved the feeling of another person on top of her. 

HAVE THEY EVER…

…been in love?

Luli had been the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen. At first, Myra wasn’t sure if she wanted to be with her or simply wanted to be her. Soon, the question answered itself. She never thought she would want a woman in such a primitive way, nor a romantic way, but Luli changed Myra’s perspective on just about everything. It was passionate and warm and enlightening and thriving and everything Myra had never thought she’d wanted, or needed. It was the most wonderful and thrilling feeling she’d ever experienced--

even if it didn’t last. 

…done drugs?

When she’d first gotten involved with Olympus, still new to the big city. There were so many new opportunities for her here that hadn’t existed back home, and she wanted to try everything. Nothing too dangerous, but she’ll never forget the bubbling excitement of her first joint. There had been a naive air about her that both made people protective of her, and also made people want to push things on her, but she stood her ground. She wanted to enjoy her newfound freedom, but within reason, and she certainly wasn’t about to ruin her new life by getting hooked on something bad.  

…killed someone?

Not by choice. Everything that night had gone wrong. It was her first year on transportation and things weren’t going as smoothly as everyone expected them to. It was her or them and she panicked. She did what she had to do, but the first time she took someone else’s life was the hardest, even if it was for her own safety.

…betrayed someone’s trust?

Despite the age difference, Victoria had been her best friend. She’d been the first person Myra had connected with in New York, and Myra had crawled under her wing and adopted her as her mentor, whether she’d initially wanted it or not. Victoria was her secret keeper, the first person she’d told about her life back in California, what she had fled from and what she had fled to become. 

At first, it hadn’t felt like cheating. But then it did. And she knew it was wrong. And she didn’t put a stop to it until it was too late. In the end, she isn’t sure which loss was worst: her lover or her best friend.

…had their heart broken?

If love was the best feeling in the world, heartbreak was the worst. It had teared her to shreds, ripped her apart after every attempt at glueing herself back together again. What it also did, however, was harden her: make her strong, impervious, impenetrable. Just like the myth of a broken bone healing stronger than before, her broken heart and broken soul came back ten times stronger after that, and she swore she would never let it break again.

…lost someone?

Never by death, but unattainable by the weight of her own actions. Not lost, but simply impossible to find as they once were..

DO THEY…

have any pets?: This is technically TBD since I don’t know who her roommates are yet, but in my head she has two small pet (land) turtles, named after women’s rights activists Susan B. Anthony and Lucretia Mott (“Susie and Lucy”)

have a family they still talk to?: No. Sometimes she wishes she could, but she feels it’s just too late. Even if she were to contact them, she would probably have to change back into who she was--into Mimi--and she’s just not willing to do that.

have a best friend?: It used to be Victoria, back when she first touched down in NYC.  Someone she could tell anything to, confess her deepest fears and biggest secrets. Well, she left out one particularly large secret, and their best-friendship was broken forever. (Who is it now? Only time will tell)

want to get married and/or have kids?: It used to be a given that as a woman, she would settle down with a husband and pop out a few kids. Now that she’s breached so far past the Bahl Family Norm, she’s not so sure she could ever go back to that. Sure, after a stressful, dangerous day, she might think a normal, quiet life in a suburb with a family might be nice, but as far as she’s concerned, she’s too far gone to ever get that old little girl dream. 

want to leave?: Sometimes, but she’s already run away once before, and reinventing yourself certainly takes its toll on your identity. Everyone has hard days, where they want to leave their life behind and start somewhere new, but she doesn’t feel she’s been in New York long enough yet to call it quits. Not to mention, she would be letting down the other members of New Olympus, the people who took her in when she was still new to the city and had no place to go, and she wouldn’t let her own flight risk tendencies harm them in anyway..

THIS OR THAT?

phone call or text? T E X T. They’re straight-forward, to the point, and leave interpretation out of the equation. “Meet at 11:05 in the alley?” There’s nothing else to it. It’s quick and it’s efficient., and there’s no way for it to be construed 

wealth or loyalty? L O Y A L T Y. All the money in the world can’t buy you trust or friendship. Though she could really use the money, everyone needs at least one person they can trust in above all else. 

love or lust? L U S T. Love gets you nothing but heartbreak. It tears down your walls and pillages your heart like an invading army and it leaves nothing but ruin in its wake. Lust allows you “all the same perks” without the emotional investment and vulnerability. It is clearly the superior choice. 

5 Friends or 100 Acquaintances? 5 FRIENDS. True loyalty is hard to come by these days, and the less you know a person, the more dangerous to you they can be to you. 

summer or winter? S U M M E R! Having grown up in California, the New York winters are pretty bracing to her. Even if summer weather reminds her of home, she will never not love the sun.  

[atc74]

Angelina’s Best of October

So I started doing something new and will be featuring author recs every couple of weeks in addition to this monthly list. I will still be reblogging all those fantastic fics, but now they will be here: @angreadsficsandauthors. 

But send me an ASK and tell me who you think I should read. Who are YOU reading right now? You wanna send me you? DO IT! There is nothing sinful about being proud of yourself! 

Here is what I managed to get out this month:

Padalecki, Party of Three (part of @impalaimagining‘s Girlfriend series)

Hard To Love 

Worth It (part of my The Convention Connection series) 

Fast Cars and Freedom - Part 3

Leather and Weapons

The Color of Love  

You Have My Word

Fluff:

Maple Leaves and Flannel @hannahindie (Sam x Reader)

Guns or Glitter? @not-moose-one-shots (Dean x Reader)

A Million Things To Love @thing-you-do-with-that-thing (Dean x Reader)

Fall @pinknerdpanda (Dean x Reader)

Imagine...The Boys Visiting Your Hometown for Fall @luci-in-trenchcoats (no pairing)

It’s 3am and I Need You @supernatural-jackles (Dean x Reader)

Stuttering Hands @teamfreewill-imagine (Sam x Reader)

The Lampost @luci-in-trenchcoats (Dean x Reader)

Fall @kathaswings (Reader x Winchester of your choosing)

Of Parks and Coaches @acreativelydifferentlove (Dean x Reader AU)

You’re Acting Weird @wayward-oneshots (Dean x Reader)

House Full of Girls @mysupernaturalfics (Jensen x Danneel x Reader)

Constellation @percywinchester27 (Dean x Reader)

As the Dust Settles @kathaswings (Dean x Reader)

The One With the Picture @deanssweetheart23 (Dean x Reader)

Yours @not-moose-one-shots (Dean x Reader)

Dance With Somebody @iwantthedean (Jensen x Reader)

This One’s For You @ravengirl94 (Dean x Reader AU)

Flangst:

Just Like Always @torn-and-frayed (Dean x Reader)

Safe and Sound @saxxxology (Sam x Reader)

I Dream of Dean @not-moose-one-shots (Dean x Reader)

Steady @becs-bunker (Dean x Reader)

Since I’ve Been Loving You @deanssweetheart23 (Dean x Reader)

Angst:

Why Don’t You See Me @katymacsupernatural (Sam x Reader)

By Moonlight @growningupgeek (No pairing)

Mist @waywardjoy (Dean x Reader)

The Forgotten Ones @evilskank-inthemegacoven (Dean x Reader)

The Break Up @supernatural-jackles (Jared x Reader)

Tell Me I’m Good @samwinlover (Dean x Reader)

Incomplete @kathaswings (Dean x Reader)

One Night Lover @thing-you-do-with-that-thing (Dean x Reader)

Smut:

De-Luxe @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid (Dean x Reader)

Friends to Lovers @mrs-squirrel-chester (Dean x Reader)

After The Case is Over @just-another-busy-fangirl (Dean x Donna) implied 

Were You Trying To Piss Me Off @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son (Sam x Reader)

The Baby Maker @impalaimagining (Dean x Reader)

Beg @saxxxology (Dean x Reader)

Every Inch @rockhoochie (Sam x OFC) on AO3

You Were Right @wayward-oneshots (Jensen x Reader)

Out of the Rain @mrs-squirrel-chester (Dean x Reader)

Make You Feel Good @not-moose-one-shots (Dean x Reader)

Are You Sleeping @impalaimagining (Jensen x Reader)

In Your Dreams @impalasutra (Dean x Donna x Jody)

The Elevator of Sex @manawhaat (Jared x Reader)

What I Pay For @saxxxology (Soulless!Sam x Reader)

Heaven and Hell @evansrogerskitten (Demon!Dean x Reader)

Smangst:

Human @kittenofdoomage (Sam x Nephilim!Reader)

 Let Me Take Care of You @impalasutra (Sastiel)

Bloodlust @ilostmyshoe-79 (Wincest) 

General - no real warnings or genre:

A Dance and A Drink @whispersandwhiskerburn (Dean x Reader)

A New Place to Stay @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms (no pairing)

Textbook Theories @pinupdean (Wincest, but SFW)

Help Me Paint @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms (Dean x Reader)

One Night Lover @thing-you-do-with-that-thing (Dean Winchester)

What Sheep? @evansrogerskitten (no pairing)

No Damsel Here @bringmesomepie56 (Dean x Reader)

The Vampire, The Zombie and The Werewolf @luci-in-trenchcoats (no pairing)

Dean vs The Mothman @hannahindie (Dean x Reader)

Series (most likely a lethal combination of smut, fluff and angst - HEED THE WARNINGS - links will be to the series master list unless noted) I know I have a problem and am following way too many series!

The Greatest Love Story @wayward-oneshots (Jensen x Reader)

A Different Blend (link to pt 1) @winchesterprincessbride (Sam x Reader A/B/O)

Our Little Secret @sis-tafics (Dean x Reader)

Yes, Sir @evansrogerskitten (John x Reader AU) 

Wild @just-another-busy-fangirl (Dean x Reader A/B/O) COMPLETE

Stroke of Luck @percywinchester27 (Dean x Reader) 

Don’t Speak @pinknerdpanda (Sam x Reader, Dean x Reader)

The Road To Now (Sam x Reader, Dean x Reader) prequel to Just Once

Forward @blacktithe7 Jensen x Reader 

Fallen Loves @jayankles (Cas x Reader)

Daddy Saved The World (link to pt 1) @saxxxology (Sam x Reader) COMPLETE

Wands & Angel Grace @just-another-busy-fangirl (SPN/HP crossover)

In The Deep End (pt 1) @kittenofdoomage & @winchesterprincessbride (Sam x Reader A/B/O)

Just Another Case @whispersandwhiskerburn (Dean x Reader AU)

You’re Mine, Omega @jensensjaredsandmishaslover (Jensen x Reader A/B/O)

My Bloody Sweetheart @luci-in-trenchcoats (Demon!Dean x Reader) COMPLETE

Time After Time @mrs-squirrel-chester (Dean, Steve Rogers crossover) COMPLETE

Hotel California @katymacsupernatural (Dean x Reader)

Jackson, Wyoming (pt 1) @hollygopossum (Jensen x Reader)

The Song Remains The Same (link to pt 1) @winchesterprincessbride (no pairing)

Girlfriend? @impalaimagining (Jared x Reader)

Hooked on a Feeling (link to pt 1) @ravengirl94 (Dean x Reader AU)

Back to School (link to pt 1) @like-a-bag-of-potatoes (Sam x Reader)

Meet The Ackles (link to pt 1) @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son (Jensen x Reader)

I Found You @just-another-busy-fangirl (Sam x Reader A/B/O) COMPLETE

Findings @kathaswings (no pairing)

Love Triumphs @katymacsupernatural (Jared x Reader)

365 Days Of Jensen (Rewrite) @supernaturalismalife (Jensen x Reader)

The Next Best Thing @ilovebeingjoyful (Sam x Reader)

The Bond @just-another-busy-fangirl (Sam x Reader Soulmate AU)

Camp Counselor @katymacsupernatural (Dean x Reader)

Homesick @itswitchcraft-not-googlemaps (Rob Benedict x Reader)

Living The Dream @ravengirl94 (Benny x Reader)

Unglued @d-s-winchester (Misha x OFC) 

Take it All Back @iwantthedean (Jensen x OFC) 

Drabble Family @brandyleewhatever (Dean x Reader) pssst Oct 16 is my fave

Heart of a Hunter Act III (entire list here) @muchamusedaboutnothing (Dean x Reader)

Lost and Found (link to part 1) @crispychrissy (Sam x Reader)

My Best Friend’s Sister @luci-in-trenchcoats (Jensen x Reader) COMPLETE

Kill Zone @thing-you-do-with-that-thing (Dean x Reader AU)

The Fight (part of True Fluff) @iwantthedean (Dean x Reader AU)

Pieces of Me @ellen-reincarnated1967 (Reader x ???)

Just Like Mommy (pt 1) @manawhaat (Sam x Reader)

The Bond (Intro) @just-another-busy-fangirl (Sam x Reader)

Never Normal @masksandtruths (Dean x Reader)

Profile Picture Not Included (pt 1) @arazialotis (Jensen x Reader) 

Escape @impala-dreamer (Sam x Reader) PLEASE HEED ALL WARNINGS FOR THIS SERIES!!! COMPLETE

October Spotlight

Choices by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing - (Dean x Reader) I do not think of myself as a very emotional person; I mean I do HAVE feelings, but I don’t let them out to play very often. Kari did a phenomenal job of cracking my armor and letting those little bastards out to play. This series was a mix of heartbreak and elation, then, well, more heartbreak. It is beautifully written and worth it. 

All That Matters by @winchestersnco (Dean x Reader) This has a little bit of everything. Although this is a new fic, I found this back in my likes and reread it and I fell in love with it all over again. This will bring all your feels to the surface and is still one of the best fics I have ever read in almost two years. 

Across The Millenia by @spncovenverse - on AO3 (multiple RPF AU pairings) Kim has hit this one out of the park. I have been captivated from the very first chapter of this verse and cannot wait for more. An AU verse of two covens and their journeys.