#s Hot Dog Eating Contest

[jmunneytumbler]

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 6/28/24

All’s A-fair in a Family (CREDIT: Aaron Epstein/Netflix © 2024) Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out. Movies –A Family Affair (June 28 on Netflix) – Starring Joey King (and also Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron) –Horizon: An American Saga – Chapter 1 (Theaters) – Part 2 arrives in August. –A Quiet…

[sugugasm]

୨୧ ˗ˏˋ OTAKU HOT GIRL ! | suguru & satoru x yn “i like a tall woman with a nice, big ass.” ꒰ 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 ! ꒱ this is me being delusional srry, but thinkin ab gojo & geto fucking tall, curvy! reader after she begs them to watch her favorite anime with her . . like ugh rn. also forgive me if this is pure degeneracy. i was bein a horn dog n’ there’s no plot rlly :/ inspired by the one n only stallion ofc, we luv u mama

꒰ 𝑛𝑠𝑓𝑤 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 ꒱ : blk fem reader, uses she/her pronouns, usage of pet names like cocksleeve, love, baby, babe, sweetheart, etc. positions included such as doggystyle, double pen, themes such as choking, bratty reader, dom! satoru & suguru, rough sex ??, oral fem recieve, oral male receive, dirty talk, mentions of a size kink, lots n lots of cum, mmm yum so gross — 5.3𝑲 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕

“hurry up, boys! m’ gonna’ be mad if you miss the intro. it ruins the whole experience of watching for the first time!”

“we’re comin’, woman. calm down.”

both satoru and suguru scurry around in your shared kitchen, gathering the rest of whatever horrid snack combinations they could find before jogging lightly to make their way over to you on the couch. with your feet positioned criss-crossed n’ a warm bowl of popcorn sizzling down in your lap, the only thing really missing were the two imbeciles of men you mistakenly decided to roommate with around a year or two ago.

you roll your eyes fondly as satoru and suguru finally plop down on either side of you, their arms laden with an assortment of junk food. satoru’s got a family-sized bag of cool ranch doritos tucked under one arm and a jar of peanut butter in the other hand, while suguru’s juggling a pack of oreos, a can of whipped cream, and what looks suspiciously like . . ew, a jar of pickles. what?

“are y’all for real right now?” you laugh, eyeing their haul with a mix of amusement and disgust. “ we’re about to watch anime, not enter a county fair eating contest.”

“hey, don't knock it til’ you’ve tried it,” satoru grins, ripping open the doritos and the peanut butter simultaneously. his gaze dips briefly to your chest, taking in the way your soft pink lace cami clings to your curves. “besides, we’ve gotta’ fuel up. you said this show is, and i quote, ‘a cultural reset that will redefine our understanding of feminism and body positivity in media.’ i don’t know man, that sounds intense.”

suguru snorts, unscrewing the oreo package. his eyes briefly lingering on the bare expanse of your thighs, the flimsy matching shorts riding high as you curl your legs underneath you. “pretty sure she just meant it’s got a lot of ass shakin’ and women empowerment. still, sounds pretty lovely.”

you chuck a kernel of popcorn at his head, giggling when it bounces off his nose. “excuse you, that’s a very tiny observation of ‘megan - sama : twerk hero for a new generation.’ s’ a journey of a woman’s adventure to self-love and confidence in a world that constantly tries to tear her down. she uses her sexuality as a form of power. she like, challenges the male gaze and double standards with, well . . every clap of her ass.”

satoru blinks at you, a glob of peanut butter sliding off the dorito he’s holding halfway to his mouth. “that . . was surprisingly deep, yn.”

“mmm, that's our girl,” suguru says proudly, throwing an arm around your shoulders. his fingers skimming over your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. “beautiful, brilliant, and able to find meaning in the most unlikely places. like a twerking anime.”

you elbow him playfully in the ribs, warmth blooming in your chest at the casual praise even as heat prickles across your skin at the contact. “you’re jokin’ but m’ serious,” you whine, “it celebrates a body type that’s so often shamed and or fetishized, like i dunno’ . . she faces some of the worst - but she never gives up, and that self-love is what ultimately gives her the strength to change the world around her in the end . .” you keep gushing, waxing poetic about megan’s badassery and the show’s powerful message. the boys listen attentively, nodding along, but you don't miss the way their gazes keep drifting south, tracing your figure with barely-concealed appreciation.

you hated to go on your fourth tangent of the week right now, but god, representation really did matter. it was practically rare to see your body type in entertainment — let alone that exact body type standing at a whopping 5’10. this was . . like you said, a real cultural reset.

a comfortable silence then settles as they finish taking it in, the low murmur of the anime’s opening theme — otaku hot girl, now filling the room. you sneak a glance at satoru out of the corner of your eye, surprised to find him looking thoughtful rather than skeptical like any other guy your age would.

“i can dig it,” satoru says slowly, popping a peanut butter dorito into his mouth. “more representation of different body types in media, s’ important. and i mean, objectively speaking . . .” he rakes his eyes over your form, lingering on the swell of your hips and ass. “i like a tall woman with a nice, big ass. ain't nothin’ wrong with a little extra somethin' to hold onto, y’know?”

you raise a brow, something playfully bold and a little reckless brewing in your chest. “is that so? didn’t know y’liked your girls thick, gojo.”

satoru swallows, adam's apple bobbing as his gaze snaps to yours. “no, yn. i love, my girls thick,” he says, voice pitched low. “well that and, exploring your sexuality n’ confidence in general is jus’ sexy . . as hell.”

“hmmm, i see. getou?” you turn to suguru, head cocked. “any thoughts?”

suguru’s smile is slow and devastating, dark promise in his eyes. “he’s not wrong. m’ sure you know that though. body like . . yours, s’the kinda canvas i could spend hours worshipping. takes an incel to not appreciate it, honestly.”

“oh please. all that bravado, but i can’t you couldn’t handle me even if you tried.” you shimmy your shoulders, drawing attention to the truly tremendous amount of cleavage your cami isn't concealing. “you'd probably bust in your boxers if you so much as touched this ass. thank youuu.”

but even as you say that with all the confidence in the world, you can’t help but to think . . ‘what if?’ what if they could? what if you were talkin’ straight out of your ass right now just to have it be thrown in your face later on? — no, never, couldn’t be.

and later on, as the end credits of the final episode roll, you stretch languidly, you’d forgotten about the thought, feeling pleasantly buzzed from two pretty drinks the three of you had earlier and the easy camaraderie of the night. satoru and suguru have been the perfect viewing companions, cracking jokes and providing commentary that had you in stitches more often than not.

but all in all, underneath the lighthearted banter, you can feel something else tiptoeing - a tension, an electricity that’s been building all night. it’s in the way satoru’s gaze lingers on the curve of your throat as you tip your head back to laugh. it’s in the heat of suguru’s palm on your knee, his thumb rubbing absent circles that inch higher and higher with each passing minute.

“so . .” satoru drawls as the autoplay timer counts down to the next season. “that was . . actually enlightening annnd i just followed megan on instagram. so, when will she be mine?”

“mhmm, told you,” you laugh, feeling loose and languid from the warmth of the alcohol in your veins and the solid press of their bodies on either side of you. “and i dunno, join the club. she’s a fuckin’ queen. knows what she wants and goes for it, she’s inspirational, and an overall bad bitch, duh — i want her too.”

“kinda like someone else we know,” suguru muses, a sly curl to his lips as he turns to face you. his eyes are dark, heated in a way that makes your breath catch. “ain’t that right, yn?”

you swallow, pulse picking up speed as you meet his loaded gaze. “oh? and who might that be?”

“you,” satoru says bluntly, shifting to angle his body towards you as well. the movement brings him close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off of him, the firm press of his muscular thigh against yours. “talkin’ all that shit earlier, bout’ how we couldn’t handle you. you think that, babe?”

oh . . so maybe you were wrong.

and they had planned on it proving that to you.

there’s a challenge in his tone, a dare that sends a frisson of anticipation skittering down your spine. you lick your lips, noting with a thrill how both their gazes zero in on the movement, “maybe i did,” you say, pitching your voice low and breathy. “what’re you gonna’ do about it?”

suguru makes a rough sound in the back of his throat, fingers flexing on your knee. “oh, well since you asked . . we can give a little demo - show you exactly what we’re gonna’ do about it. ain’t that right, satoru?”

“damn straight,” satoru growls, a wicked gleam in his eye. “whaddaya’ say, sweet thing? why don’t you go ahead n’ show us what makes you a hot girl, yn?” he finishes.

heart pounding, skin prickling with goosebumps, you lift your chin in clear provocation. “tch, whatever. bring it on then, bitches. show me what you’ve got.”

of course you’d challenge them. why wouldn’t you? you quite literally had the power of god and megan on your side.

twin groans meet your bold words, suguru’s hand tightening convulsively on your leg as satoru’s eyes blaze with intent. “don’t mind if we do,” satoru rasps, voice gone low and gravelly with want. “been fuckin’ gagging for it all night, watchin’ you all curled up and cozy in this tiny ass pajama set, lookin’ good enough to eat . .”

“gonna’ fuckin’ devour you,” suguru vows, already shifting to press hot, open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat. “gonna’ put this bratty little mouth to good use, fuck, been dyin’ to feel these pretty lips wrapped around my dick.”

you moan, head tipping back to grant him better access even as your hands come up to fist in satoru’s hair, dragging him down for a filthy, biting kiss. he groans into your mouth, licking past the seam of your lips to tangle his tongue with yours, one large hand palming roughly at your breast through the flimsy lace of your cami.

“fuckin’ tease,” he pants when you break apart for air, fingers already working at the tiny buttons holding the top closed. “prancin’ around in this scrap of nothin’ all night, like a slut. y’knew we wouldn’t be able to stop thinkin’ about you, baby.”

“why don’t you tell me?” you breathe, emboldened by the blatant need in their faces, the desperate flex of their hands on your body. “c’mon, boys, use your words. what’ve you been thinkin’ about doin’ to me all night, huh? how’re you gonna’ shut me up, put me in my place?”

“jesus fuckin’ christ,” suguru swears feelingly, wrenching himself away from your neck to stare at you with wild, hungry eyes. “keep talkin’ like that and i’m gonna lose it, i swear.”

“then lose it,” you purr, hooking a leg over his hip and using the leverage to grind yourself against his straining erection. he hisses, hips rocking forward to press the thick line of his cock harder against your aching center. “c’mon, sugu baby, show me how bad you want it. show me exactly what this bratty little tease does to you.”

“fuck, you fuckin’ - get her naked,” suguru snarls to satoru, already fumbling with the tie of your shorts. “fuckin’ get her naked right goddamn now, i can’t - i gotta’ taste her, gotta’ get my mouth on this sweet cunt before i fucking explode . .”

satoru doesn't waste any time, practically ripping your cami open in his haste to get at your bared tits. you cry out sharply as he latches onto one straining nipple, suckling hard and grazing the sensitized bud with his teeth. “oh fuck, oh god, yes!”

your shorts and panties are yanked down your legs, the sudden rush of cool air on your heated flesh making you gasp. and then suguru is shouldering past satoru to find his way between your thighs, pushing them open wide and burying his face in your dripping cunt with a guttural moan of satisfaction, “i call first,” he mumbles into your pussy.

satoru scoffs an agitated, “not fair, but whatever,” and you can’t help but to giggle at the sheer fact that they were quite literally bickering over who was gonna’ eat your pussy first.

“shut the fuck up — ”

“aht, aht! hey, all my munches get along so . . y’all about to argue all day or what?” you mutter, and as if they were being scolded back in their early sourcerer days - they hush, and then, “holy shit!” you whimper, back arching clear off the couch as suguru goes to town, licking and suckling at your clit like a man starved. “o-oh my god, sugu, you’re s’good . .”

“mm, y’like that, sweetheart?” satoru husks, sucking and then pulling off your nipple with a lewd pop. his hand palms roughly at your other breast, plucking at the stiff peak, drawing high, breathy cries from your throat. “like the way he eats this pretty pussy, fucks you with his tongue? gonna’ make you cum so hard you scream, baby, gonna’ make you fucking flood his mouth.”

“y-yes,” you gasp, fisting your hands in both their hair as suguru goes even harder, slipping two fingers into your clenching hole and pumping them in time with the relentless suction of his lips around your throbbing clit. “yes, fuck, m’gonna cum already, gonna’ come on your face sugu, please, fuck, m’ so close . .”

“that's it,” satoru coaxes, pinching your nipple viciously, making you yelp. “give it up, yn, fucking come for us like a good girl, wanna hear you scream . .”

suguru crooks his fingers just right, rubbing mercilessly against the spot that makes stars explode behind your eyelids, and you shatter with a raw sob of their names. your cunt clamps down vise-tight on his thrusting digits as you gush around them, release flooding his chin and dripping down his wrist.

he works you through the aftershocks with hitching praises and soft kitten licks, only pulling away when you start twitching from oversensitivity. he rocks back onto his heels, wiping and licking around his mouth with the back of his hand and tongue, eyes hazy and satisfied as he takes in your wrecked, limp form. “fuckin’ gorgeous,” he slurs, words edged with wonder. “shit - look at you, jesus, all fucked out and dripping just from my mouth. i told you i could spend hours between these thighs, baby, i wasnt lyin’.”

“h-hours, huh?” you manage, breath still coming in shuddery gasps. “that mean you’re done with me already, sugu?”

his eyes sharpen, a predatory curl to his lips that sends a bolt of heat straight to your core. “not even close, pretty girl. m’ jus’ gettin’ warmed up.”

“why don’t you let her catch her breath,” satoru suggests, something dark and intent in his gaze as his eyes rove over your naked, trembling body. he palms his cock through his sweats, hissing at the contact. “still gotta put that mouth to work, remember?”

your cunt clenches weakly at the implication, arousal already starting to rekindle in your veins. “gimmie’ a minute to recover and i’ll put it to work all night long,” you promise, licking your lips. “wanna’ choke on it, toru. want you to fuck my throat . . please.”

“jesus, fuck, you’re so nasty,” satoru groans, fisting a hand in your hair and dragging you up for a brief, brutal kiss. “gonna’ wreck you, baby. gonna’ fuckin’ ruin you for anyone else, mark you up inside n’ out until all you can think about is us, all you can feel is us stretching that hungry little pussy wide . .”

“oh please,” you whimper, already halfway there just from their words, their roving hands, the hot press of their bodies caging you in on either side. “god, please, i want it — fuck me stupid, i don’t care.”

“and we will,” suguru vows, fingers dipping back between your legs to circle your slick, twitching entrance. “gonna’ pump you so full of cum, baby, shit, gonna fuckin’ breed this cunt.” you keen high in your throat, the images they’re painting sending heat licking through your veins like wildfire. you want it, want them, with an intensity that’s scarce.

“so what’re you waiting for?” you rasp, disentangling yourself from their groping hands to shimmy off the couch and drop to your knees between their splayed thighs. you rest your palms high on their legs, thumbs teasing at the straining bulges tenting their sweats. “i believe i was promised a face fucking . . and y’know i hate broken promises. don’t make me beg.”

“brat,” satoru husks, eyes practically black with lust as he lifts his hips so you can tug his pants down his thighs. his cock springs free, thick and ruddy and leaking at the tip, and your mouth waters at the sight. “let’s see how cocky you are with your mouth full. won’t be able to sass when you’re chokin’ on dick.”

“choking? you promise, daddy?” you purr, shuffling closer on your knees, hands running teasingly up and down their thighs. suguru makes a strangled noise, hands clenching into fists at his sides like it’s taking everything in him not to grab you.

“open,” satoru demands hoarsely. “open that smart fucking mouth. lemme’ feed you.” you part your lips obediently, tongue darting out to swipe at the swollen head of his dick. he jerks like he’s been electrocuted, a guttural moan punching out of his chest as you proceed to lave at his cock like an ice cream cone, all kittenish licks and teasing flicks that have him cursing up a storm above you.

“gonna’ kill me,” he grits out, hips flexing like it's taking everything he has to keep from fucking up into your mouth. “yn, jesus, quit teasing and suck it, shit — suck it baby, please . .” deciding to put him out of his misery, you open wide and sink down, relaxing your throat to take him as deep as you can. he shouts, hands flying to your hair as you set up a steady rhythm, bobbing and sucking and swirling your tongue until he’s leaking a steady stream of precum down your throat.

suguru is panting harshly on your other side, fisting his own cock with short, rough strokes as he watches you work over satoru. “look so fuckin’ pretty with a dick in your mouth,” he praises raspily, thumb collecting the bead of moisture at his tip and reaching down to smear it across your lips where they're stretched wide around satoru. “made to be a fuckin’ eater, weren’t you sweetheart? made for us, made to take what you’re given, aren’t you?”

you whimper around your mouthful, the degradation making your cunt clench up hard. you redouble your efforts, relaxing your throat and sinking down until satoru’s cock is nudging the back of your throat, your nose pressed against his pelvis.

“holy fucking shit,” he wheezes, fingers tightening in your hair to hold you there. “oh my god, oh fuck, your fucking throat, m'gonna come, gonna come right down your slutty little neck . .”

“do it,” suguru growls, hand still fisting his own cock, the wet slap of skin on skin obscenely loud in the otherwise quiet room. “feed her that load, man, fucking paint her throat, make her gag.”

satoru cums with a hoarse shout, cock pulsing on your tongue as he empties himself down your throat. you swallow it all, working your tongue along the throbbing underside to draw out every last drop until he's shaking and pushing you off with an overwhelmed grunt. and you pull off with a gasp, lips swollen and spit-slick, chin wet with drool and the remnants of his release. before you can even catch your breath, suguru is grabbing you by the hair and dragging you over to his waiting cock, the head an angry purple and weeping steadily.

“looks like s’ my turn now, hm?” he grits out, tracing the seam of your lips with his cock, smearing the slickness around like obscene lipgloss. “back open, c’mon.”

you let your jaw drop wide once again, and then he’s pushing in, stretching your lips wide around his girth as he feeds you every thick, throbbing inch. he sets a punishing pace from the start, one hand cupped under your chin to feel his cock moving in your throat as the other winds tight in your hair, holding you still for his thrusts.

“oh fuck yeah,” he rasps, eyes fever-bright as he stares down at you, taking in your glazed eyes and drool-slick chin, the vulgar bulge of your throat. “takin’ it like a champ aren’t ya’? so pretty like this, baby. y’like it, like daddy’s cock buried in your throat like this?” you moan around him, looking up at him through your lashes as you hollow your cheeks and suck viciously — vacuum technique doing absolute wonders by the looks of it. he curses, rhythm faltering as his cock throbs warningly against your tongue.

satoru is suddenly there, pressing up against your back, arms banding around your waist as clever fingers find your aching nipples and pluck at them roughly. “your face is so pretty,” he husks in your ear, stubble rasping against your neck as he mouths at your throat. “it’ll look even prettier painted . . c’mon make him cum, you’ve earned it.”

the filthy words combined with the sharp mix of pleasure pain of his fingers on your nipples has you shuddering, cunt clenching down on nothing as a bolt of heat sizzles up your spine. suguru’s is close, you can tell by the way his thrusts are going erratic, his cock pulsing faster against your tongue.

“f-fuck, oh fuck, m’gonna cum,” he warns, high and tight, hips snapping forward once, twice more before he's pulling out abruptly, fisting his cock with desperate strokes. “open your mouth, fuck, stick out your tongue baby, wanna’ see it, fuckin’ shit!”

you obey mindlessly, tipping your face up and extending your tongue, a lewd, pornographic presentation. suguru loses it at the sight, shouting brokenly as his orgasm crashes over him, cock jerking in his grip as he paints your face with ropey streams of pearlescent white.

you moan shakily, back arching as some of his release hits your waiting tongue, the salty-musk taste of him flooding your senses. you feel debauched, utterly wrecked and still desperately turned on, your cunt a throbbing mess of need between your legs.

“holy shit!” suguru pants, slumping back against the couch, chest heaving. he takes in your cum - streaked face, the way you’re panting and squirming, still perched on your knees between them. “you’re a fuckin' vision, you know that? prettiest thing i’ve ever seen, all messy and marked up, fuck.”

“mmm, but she’s not finished though, are you baby?” satoru purrs, fingers drifting down to tease through your soaked folds, making you gasp and buck your hips. “look, she’s still hungry for it, so ready for more like the insatiable little slut you are. tell us what you need, sweetheart. tell us how you want us to wreck this pussy.”

“both of you,” you manage, voice a needy rasp. you reach down to circle your swollen clit, putting on a show for them. “want both you in me, filling me up t-til’ i can’t fuckin’ take it.”

“fuck,” satoru swears emphatically, cock already twitching with renewed interest. “yeah baby, we can do that, no problem. so sorry if we make you cry.”

“we gotta’ get her on the bed,” susguru demands, pulling you up and herding you towards satoru’s room. “need you spread out for us, wanna’ wreck you properly.”

you go willingly, eagerly, practically trembling with anticipation as they usher you into the bedroom, tearing their clothes off as they go. they descend upon you like men starved as soon as your back hits the mattress, hands and mouths roving over every inch of bared skin until you're writhing and keening beneath their attentions.

suguru pushes your thighs open and buries his face between them, groaning at the taste of your arousal. he licks into you like a man dying of thirst, tongue delving deep and curling just right to make you see stars. “fuckin’ drenched,” he mutters, pulling back just enough to circle your entrance with one long finger, gathering the slickness. “absolutely soaked for it, aren't you baby? dripping for our cocks, greedy little pussy desperate to be stuffed full.”

“please,” you whimper, back arching as he pushes two fingers knuckle-deep, pumping them lazily. “oh fuck, g-getou, more, need more!”

“ive got you,” satoru rasps, rolling on a condom and slicking himself up with lube. he shifts up the bed until he���s bracketing your head with his knees, the thick jut of his cock bobbing mere inches from your face. “gonna’ give this filthy mouth something to do while sugu opens up your hungry cunt, yeah? gonna’ fuck your throat while he fingers you sloppy, get you nice and ready for us both.”

you open eagerly for him, relaxing your jaw as he feeds his cock past your lips. he groans at the wet heat of your mouth, at the way you hollow your cheeks and suck, working your tongue along the throbbing underside.

“there you go,” he praises roughly, grabbing a handful of your hair and giving a shallow thrust. “just like that baby, fuck, feel like heaven around my dick . .”

you moan around him as suguru works a third finger into your dripping cunt, scissoring and curling them just right to graze that spot inside you that makes your toes curl. the dual stimulation has you shaking, the obscene sounds of satoru’s cock gliding through the slick clutch of your throat and suguru’s fingers pumping wetly into your pussy filling the room.

“she’s good to go,” suguru declares after a few endless minutes, pulling his fingers free and wiping them clean on the sheets. he slicks himself up, shifting into position between your spread thighs. “gonna’ wreck this pussy, baby, you have no idea how bad i’ve wanted this, wanted you. i think about you while i dream . .”

how could something said be so blended with both degeneracy and sweetness.

he pushes in on one smooth glide, the breath punching from his lungs in a guttural moan as your walls clench down greedily around him. “mm, what a tight fit. shit. gripping me, yn, goddamn.”

you sob brokenly around satoru’s cock as suguru bottoms out, hips flush against yours. he gives you a moment to adjust before he starts moving, rolling his hips in deep, devastating grinds that have you seeing stars.

satoru keeps rocking into your mouth, hands fisted in your hair to hold you in place for his thrusts. you take it eagerly, gagging a little when he hits the back of your throat but relaxing to let him push deeper, until your nose is pressed against his pelvis with every pump of his hips.

“m’ gonna’ cum down your throat again,” satoru grits out after a few minutes of spit-roasting you between them. “gonna’ get you all warmed up, honey.”

you moan helplessly, tears leaking from the corners of your eyes as you struggle to breathe around his considerable girth. just as spots start to dance in your vision, satoru stiffens and curses, hips jerking erratically as he spills into your mouth with a hoarse shout. “there you go baby, breathe for me — agh fuck yes. choke on daddy’s dick, thas’ good girl.” he then pulls out carefully, cradling your jaw as you cough and gasp, chest heaving.

suguru is still working into you from below, the drag of his cock against your fluttering walls almost unbearably good. you’re so fucking full of him, stretched around his thickness, but you still feel so empty, aching for more.

“please,” you rasp, looking up at satoru with wet, pleading eyes. “need your cock inside me too, need both of you fucking me, filling me, please.”

“such a needy little thing,” satoru marvels, eyes dark and hungry on your face. “gonna’ give it to you, baby, don’t worry. want me to stuff that pussy, hm? confuse you on whose is whose,” he laughs.

he slides down your body, shifting to kneel behind suguru between your lewdly spread legs. slicking up his fingers with more lube, he circles your stretched rim where suguru is steadily pumping into you, dipping just the tip of one finger in alongside his thrusting cock.

you keen high in your throat at the added stretch, the slight burn as he works you open further. suguru groans at the increased tightness, at the filthy drag of satoru’s fingers around his pistoning cock as he meticulously stretches you out. “god, look at you,” suguru pants, sounding absolutely wrecked as he stares down at where you're taking them both, hole straining wide and shiny-slick with lube and your own arousal. “pretty, little cunt all desperate for it, practically begging to be stuffed full. you want that, baby? want both of us crammed up in that pussy, wanna’ be our fuckin’ cocksleeve?”

“yes,” you sob, past the point of shame or restraint. “please, fuck, want it, want you both so deep in me, wan’ it to almost hurt . .”

“holy shit,” satoru swears feelingly, pulling his fingers free and lining his cock up alongside suguru’s. the blunt pressure against your already stuffed hole has you nearly hyperventilating, squirming down onto them eagerly. “okay, baby, deep breaths. gonna’ put both of us in, yeah?” you nod, and he pushes in hard, forcing his cockhead in alongside suguru’s with a devastating stretch. you wail brokenly, back bowing as you’re split open on their straining cocks, the burn of it so intense it borders on both pleasure and pain. but then suguru is rolling his hips and satoru is grinding into you and oh, oh it’s fucking perfect, the drag of them against your walls, the way they throb and pulse in tandem inside you.

“fuck,” suguru wheezes, sweat rolling down his temples. “o-oh fuck, fuck, fuck!.”

“m’ not gonna last,” satoru warns, voice absolutely shattered as he starts to move, drawing out only to slam back in, forcibly creating space for himself in your overstuffed channel. “yn, o-ooh, pussy’s stranglin’ me, baby — m’gonna cum.”

“do it,” you demand breathlessly, rolling your hips up to meet their thrusts, taking them impossibly deeper. “cum in me . . claim m-me.” with twin shouts they comply, snapping their hips forward one, two, three more times before they’re cumming hard, cocks pulsing in tandem as they empty themselves into you. you moan brokenly at the feel of it, of their release flooding your cunt, marking you up from the inside out.

they collapse against you as they come down, chests heaving and skin slick with sweat. you whimper as their softening cocks slip free of your abused hole, a river of come slipping out after them to soak the sheets.

“holy f-fuck,” satoru rasps after a long moment, pressing a reverent kiss to your shoulder. “that was fucking crazy . .”

“and incredible,” suguru adds, sounding just as dazed. “yn, baby, fuck. we wrecked you, jesus.”

“mmm, you did,” you agree, feeling utterly boneless and fucked-out in the best way. “absolutely ruined me for anyone else, jus’ like you promised.”

“good,” satoru growls, something fiercely possessive in his gaze as it rakes over your limp, satisfied form. “because this pussy? this filthy, perfect pussy? it belongs to us now. you belong to us now . . .”

you glance briefly at the tv, dick drunk and pleasure high. part of you thinks you should probably pay your respects to the anime that facilitated this unexpected but very welcome turn of events, but the rest of you is preoccupied with trying not to black out as satoru and suguru keep their attention on you.

megan-sama, you think muzzily, just before suguru starts to nip at your shoulder again, bless your ratchet heart. you the real mvp.

and then coherency flees completely as your boys descend on you once more, cutting off anything resembling higher thought.

the last fleeting thing you remember is a deep, unshakable gratitude for your beautifully crafted body and the incredible dudes about to spend the foreseeable future worshipping it.

thick thighs save lives, indeed.

there’s only one you.

we love you meg.

[seospicybin]

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

EXTRA HOT REUNION.

Felix x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist.

Synopsis: You and Felix are having a Too Hot To Handle reunion with other contestants to catch up on the life after the retreat. (4,2k words)

Author's note: Some of you asking for a reunion so here it is! Also, happy birthday the blonde guy from Stray Kids x

Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.

HOST: Hello, everyone! I am your host for the Too Hot To Handle Extra Hot Reunion show! Hello, sexy people!

EVERYONE: [Claps] [cheers]

HOST: We'll be getting all the juicy details of the contestants of Too Hot To Handle season 1 and find out if your favorite couple is still together or not!

-

HOST: In the meantime, let's see if they still remember how many times they broke the rules!

LAURA: Wow! Honestly... A lot! [Chuckles]

ALEX: Indeed, we did a lot of things.

MAEVE: Just once and I don't regret it. At all!

YOU: Agree! [Thumbs up]

DANIEL: Oh, Laura touched someone's willy!

JAMIE: I didn't break enough rules.

KILLIAN: [laughs] I still remember your naughty little fingers, Felix!

FELIX: [laughs] [shows fingers to the camera]

COLE: I was too busy keeping you horn dogs from breaking the rules to break a rule.

-

HOST: These two girls prove that you can seek connections other than romantic ones. In this season we watched how their friendship blooms from a rule break.

HOST: Hello, my darlings!

MAEVE: Hey, gorgeous! [Waves]

YOU: Hi, babes!

HOST: We all know that the two of you are close before the kiss but what did you think that makes you guys click in the first place?

YOU: It's because we entered the villa together!

MAEVE: [Gasps] I almost forgot about that!

YOU: I was so nervous, it was my first time being in a show and front of a camera. I was grateful that they paired me up with someone and she's like... such a hottie.

MAEVE; Awww, thank you, babe!

YOU: And I think it's crazy that I met an Irish girl and we clicked right away.

MAEVE: It's meant to be!

HOST: Such a wonderful start to a relationship and both of you are hot and shared a hot kiss.

YOU: [Nods] Oh, yes.

MAEVE: [Blushes] [laughs]

HOST: So, how did the kiss happen?

YOU: I just wanted to kiss her. Really.

MAEVE: Babe, we agree to keep it a secret! [laughs]

YOU: [Laughs] I always think that Maeve is gorgeous, she's hot and no one can deny that yet she's always insecure about it.

MAEVE: [Quietly chuckles]

YOU: Frankly, a few times I wanted to shake her shoulders and snap her out of it because like, come on, she has nothing to be not confident about but instead of that, I kissed her.

MAEVE: Right! I'm a slow learner but with a kiss, I immediately get it.

HOST: Oh yes, a good snog always helps.

MAEVE: Right?

HOST: You mentioned in the show that someday you'll visit her in Ireland and have drinks together. Have you had the chance to do it?

YOU: [Nods] I already did.

MAEVE: She visited me last summer and we had so much fun.

YOU: We had tons of fun. We went from one pub to another and I obviously can't drink as much as Maeve— Oh, Killian!!!

MAEVE: [Covers face]

HOST: Do I smell something here? [Sniffs] Oh, it reeks of romance.

YOU: I'll leave that to Maeve to explain [Props hand under chin]

MAEVE: After the show we stayed in contact and we hung out a few times, there's something— I can't tell much for now. We want to take things slow.

HOST: It's better than nothing.

YOU: [leans close to the camera] [puts hands around your mouth] They're snogging, everyone!

HOST: Oh, kiss me I'm Irish indeed!

MAEVE: But still, our kiss is the best I've ever had.

HOST: Do you agree with that? Is Maeve still the best kisser?

YOU: Yes and yes and yes.

MAEVE: [Cheers] Eat that, Felix!

HOST: Do you girls have any plans? Upcoming girl's trip? Do you plan on sharing another kiss?

MAEVE: Another kiss for sure!

YOU: We want to do a lot of things and kissing is one of them [puckering lips]

MAEVE: [Blows kisses at you]

HOST: Nothing we love more than two girls wanting to kiss each other! True friendship goals right there!

-

HOST: We're usually able to guess which couple going to make it to the last but we didn't guess it right when they parted ways in the middle of the season. Tell us why it happened, Jamie!

JAMIE: [Rubs forehead] Uh... first thing first, I was sexually frustrated.

YOU: We all were!

JAMIE: I wanted to break the rules and she didn't so I got more frustrated [laughs]

YOU: That's true!

JAMIE: What a man can do?

YOU: A lot, actually! [Rolls eyes] [laughs]

HOST: Let it all out, honey! Let it out!

YOU: What was upsetting to me is that because I was about to open up to him and I was planning on breaking a rule with him but he [sighs] Well, it's your loss, Jamie [smirks]

JAMIE: It was my loss, I admit [hands up]

HOST: But are we good now? Are we on good terms or should we make a peace treaty right here, right now?

YOU: [Laughs]

JAMIE: We're good. We had dinner together the other night.

HOST: Is that true? Is it like... was it civil? Was it a peace offering?

YOU: Nah [shakes head] it was Cole, he told me he's in town and invited me to have dinner together. I would have said no if I knew Jamie was going to be there [gags] [laughs] I'm joking.

JAMIE: I did doubt she'd come if Cole had told her I'd be coming too.

YOU: I came because Cole said he'll pay for dinner [chuckles]

JAMIE: [Closes eyes] [flustered]

YOU: Jokes aside, we're good. We're friends.

JAMIE: Thank you! Everyone can stop coming at me now [laughs] thank you for clearing it up.

HOST: Oh, [wipes forehead] I was about to call for backup here but thank you for keeping this a peaceful reunion.

-

HOST: This is the moment you've been waiting for! They're my favorite couple in the show and it seems like they're everyone's favorite too. Hi, cuties!

FELIX: [Waves hand] Hi!

YOU: Hiya!

HOST: Let's catch up with you first, girl! How are you doing?

YOU: I've been doing great [smiles] I... uhm, I've been working hard on paying my debts and I'm debt-free now.

HOST: Woohoo! That's great!

YOU: Sad that I watched my money gone like that [laughs] but I'm relieved I don't have to think about it again.

HOST: We heard you're finishing fashion school. Is it true?

YOU: Yes, I am. I'm graduating next month!

HOST: [Claps] Oh, congratulations in advance, darling!

FELIX: [Claps] [smiles]

HOST: Aren't you proud of your girl, Felix?

FELIX: [Clears throat] Absolutely! She's been working hard so she deserves every good thing that comes to her.

YOU: [Coos] Thank you [smiles]

HOST: And how are things, Felix? How's life after the retreat?

FELIX: It felt weird to be back in the real world after the retreat. Moreover, I just feel like staying in the villa and not working [laughs]

HOST: Understandable!

FELIX: The only annoying thing about the retreat is Lana [chuckles]

HOST: Uh oh! Let's hope Lana didn't just hear it. For now, let's see some of your moments in the retreat!

YOU: Not you guys showing how I got fingered under the cover again [Facepalms]

HOST: I'm afraid it'll live forever in the TV history.

[Playing video of you and Felix in the retreat]

HOST: Getting flashbacks? How did you feel watching all that?

YOU: Wow. I mean looking back at it now, it feels like I did change. My friends and family kept saying something changed in me but I felt the same. I get it now.

HOST: How about you, Felix?

FELIX: Same. I was single when I joined the show and planned on staying single at the end of it.

HOST: Until the ultimate cockblock appeared?

FELIX: [Chuckles] Yes but the outcome is better than I expected.

HOST: Getting into the important questions now. Please fill in the blanks on what you guys did after the retreat is over.

YOU: [Sighs] [Chuckles] We stayed together for a week. Felix decided to come home and stayed over at my place and yeah... we just went at it.

HOST: Oh, straight into the juicy details, huh?

FELIX: [Laughs] We did like... seven times a day.

YOU: [Laughs] I felt— [inhales] I felt bad for my neighbor at that time.

HOST: Did you guys ahem... did all the things you guys wanted to do in a private suite?

YOU: [Tips head] [Slyly smiles]

FELIX: To be honest... [licks lips] not enough.

HOST: OH MY GOODNESS!

YOU: [Laughs] I had to change the bedsheets every few hours!

HOST: OH, YOU ANIMALS!

FELIX: You want the juicy details [smiles] [shrugs]

HOST: It's wow— It's not juicy, it's rather flooding in here. What happened after that?

YOU: Felix went back to Australia and I got busy working, school.

FELIX: [Nods] I went back to work right away.

HOST: [Blinks eyes] Nothing happened after that?

YOU: We spent New Year's together and after that, we just went back to our lives.

HOST: New Year was two months ago, babes! Wait, are you—

FELIX: We haven't met again after that.

HOST: Oh, no. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news to everyone but I have to ask, are you guys still together?

YOU: Well...

HOST: Hold that tongue and let me get back to you after I asked everyone about their favorite best moments!

-

HOST: What is your favorite best moment?

HEIDI: Fooling around with everyone in the pool.

LAURA: Definitely kissing Alex [laughs] No, I'm playing. I had fun doing the all-girls workshop that when I felt the closest to them.

YOU: What I miss the most now is just us girls talking in the dressing room.

KILLIAN: Felix and I working out by the beach together.

JAMIE: It must be the date I had with Mia. I never had a nice date like that.

JOSH: The dance we did in the last episode.

MAEVE: The first party we had and everyone's faces when they found out it was Too Hot To Handle.

ALEX: Goofing around with the boys in the bedroom.

FELIX: That time I was sweating so much from waiting for my girl to come back from the date.

COLE: Must be the times we spent worrying about the money [laughs]

-

HOST: We're back with our favorite couple and about to reveal the fate of their relationship. I'm going to ask you guys again. Are you guys still together?

YOU: The distance is... I guess we kind of having a hard time overcoming it. Other than that, we're both busy, Felix is always traveling for his job and I'm stuck here studying.

FELIX: My worries turned out to be true and we had our ups and downs.

HOST: Stop dragging this around. My heart can't take it.

FELIX: Well... Sorry, I just need to— [exits the frame]

HOST: Felix, where are you going?

YOU: [Looks to the side] [Felix appears in your frame]

HOST: OH?! You guys are—

YOU: [Nods] [Chuckles]

FELIX: I decided to move in with her.

HOST: [Clutches chest] You guys are so mean, I almost had a heart attack.

YOU: [Gets up from chair] [sits on Felix's lap]

FELIX: It's the only way for this to work. Being away from her, the distance... [sighs] it was draining so I sorted a few things, packed up, and moved in.

YOU: I just moved to a new apartment so the timing couldn't be more perfect.

HOST: Is the bedroom soundproofed, babe?

YOU: [Laughs] Not yet but now I plan on doing it.

HOST: You should because it seems to me like it's going to be super loud and busy in there.

FELIX: It's about to [smirks]

HOST: Please show us some love! Share a smooch with us for all of your fans out there.

FELIX: [Turns head] [kisses you on the lips]

HOST: Oh, great! I feel so single now.

YOU: Well, you can always join Too Hot To Handle [Laughs]

HOST: No, thank you. I enjoyed seeing my favorite couple is still all lovey-dovey. Felix, do you have anything to say before we end our interview?

FELIX: Yes. It was nice catching up with everyone and I'm happy to be here with my girlfriend but I'm afraid it's time to f—

HOST: Sorry, Felix, as much as we love a happy ending, we have to cut you off again. It's been fun catching up with all the hot guests from the first season of Too Hot To Handle. Hope to see you guys again next time and thank you for watching!

-

Felix shuts the laptop once the interview is over and puts his arms around you.

"That was fun," he murmurs close to your ear.

You turn your head to the side, letting him capture your lips into a kiss.

"The fun hasn't begun," you mutter against his lips and let go to continue talking, "yet."

He leans in for another kiss as you recline on his chest, his hands roaming around your clothed body and feeling you all over.

"You still make me hard," he seductively whispers into your ear.

When the kiss starts to get deeper and harder, you get up from his lap, unzipping your dress as you walk backward while maintaining eye contact with him.

The dress drops onto the floor and pools around your ankle, exposing the matching underwear you're wearing.

You kick the dress away and it lands next to his feet.

Felix resists picking it up and shakes his head, eyeing the piece of clothing you're wearing that he wants.

"Give it to me," he says with a deep, assertive voice that makes you tingle inside.

"Okay..." Your hand reaches to the back to unclasp your bra.

Sliding the straps down your shoulders, you take the bra off and throwing at him, landed right on his lap.

He hisses as he takes it but does nothing to it, "The other one!"

You shake your head and cup your breasts with your hands, "Nuh-uh! No!"

Felix glares at you and leans forward on his chair, "Give it to me!" He says with a deeper voice.

"Why don't you get it yourself?" You dare him with a sly smile.

Felix reclines on the chair, spreading his legs wide, and pokes his inner cheek with his tongue. It's like he's doing a photoshoot for a magazine.

"I have no other option then," he sighs and quickly gets up from the chair to chase after you.

You squeal as you make a run to the bedroom, but he catches you right before you can climb onto the bed.

"Got you!"

Felix wraps his arms around you and shuts you up with a kiss on your open mouth. His hands get busy roaming around your naked body as his kiss turns sloppy.

You turn around to face him and hook your leg over his, clinging to him as you return his eager kisses.

"Baby..." You whine.

He gently bites at your lower lip and slyly smiles, "What?"

You gently push him away and lay down on the bed, giving him the eyes as you say, "Take those clothes off for me."

Felix is too busy lusting over your almost naked body on the bed to hear what you said to him.

"Baby!" You call him again a little louder.

It works to snap him out of his possibly lewd daydream, "No time to take the clothes off," he says, then jumps onto the bed.

-

Felix likes it more if you’re the one taking his clothes off for him.

Your hands are swiftly unbuttoning his shirt while your mouth is busy returning his hard and deep kisses. You impatiently part it open once you're done unbuttoning them all.

Felix eventually has to be the one getting rid of it, reluctantly letting go of the kiss to do it. He hurls it across the room to hover above you again.

"I miss you," he earnestly says as he stares deeply into your eyes.

"Aww..." you coo and brush his already tousled hair, "I miss you too."

Your fingertips lightly trail his cheek dusted with freckles and cup his jaw, "Come, kiss me again!" you sweetly demand with an adorable pout.

He's more than happy to comply, pressing his lips on you again. His heart is shrunk from being away from you too long, but the kiss helps him fill it with warm feelings, and revives it back to life.

A part of him still can't believe that he's moving in with you and he can see you every day, kissing you as many times as he wants.

"I love you," he mutters as he breaks the kiss.

"I love you too," you say back with a smile that makes his heart rattle inside his chest.

"Baby, isn't it time for you to give me head?"

He breaks into laughter, "So impatient, huh?"

"Well, you've been away for long..." you meekly answer and put your legs around his waist to draw him closer.

You lowly giggle as you guide his hand down south, "A girl has her needs, you know."

He rubs over your clothed core and slyly grinning as he looks down at you, "Uh-huh?"

You nod and spread your legs wider for him, "You still make me wet," you say as you watch his hand slip into your underwear.

"Mmh..." He hums with a quick kiss on your neck.

Felix continues the trail of kisses down your neck and chest, biting on your nipples on his way down to kiss your abdomen.

You squirm as his mouth gets closer to where you want him to be. A moan falls out of your parted mouth as his mouth makes contact with your clothed cunt.

Oh, how he misses hearing the noises you make as his tongue lapping at your wetness. The taste of you quench his thirst yet he can't have enough.

Your hand tangles in his hair, tugging at it whenever the pleasure gets overwhelming and at the same time, telling him that he's doing the right thing.

There are so many things he wants to do but one pops out in his head at this moment. He sucks hard on your clit before letting it go.

Hastily, he kisses your mouth, ignoring his mouth drenched in your essence.

"Baby?"

"Yeah?" You breathlessly ask with wide eyes.

He places a slobbering kiss on your jaw before answering you, "Do you have anything we can play with?"

You shot him a surprised look, then lowly chuckle, "In the second drawer of the dresser."

-

A part of him still can't believe that he's moving in with you and he can see you every day, kissing you as many times as he wants.

"I love you," he mutters as he breaks the kiss.

"I love you too," you say back with a smile that makes his heart rattle inside his chest.

"Baby, isn't it time for you to give me head?"

He breaks into laughter, "So impatient, huh?"

"Well, you've been away for long..." you meekly answer and put your legs around his waist to draw him closer.

You lowly giggle as you guide his hand down south, "A girl has her needs, you know."

He rubs over your clothed core and slyly grinning as he looks down at you, "Uh-huh?"

You nod and spread your legs wider for him, "You still make me wet," you say as you watch his hand slip into your underwear.

"Mmh..." He hums with a quick kiss on your neck.

Felix continues the trail of kisses down your neck and chest, biting on your nipples on his way down to kiss your abdomen.

You squirm as his mouth gets closer to where you want him to be. A moan falls out of your parted mouth as his mouth makes contact with your clothed cunt.

Oh, how he misses hearing the noises you make as his tongue lapping at your wetness. The taste of you quench his thirst yet he can't have enough.

Your hand tangles in his hair, tugging at it whenever the pleasure gets overwhelming and at the same time, telling him that he's doing the right thing.

There are so many things he wants to do but one pops out in his head at this moment. He sucks hard on your clit before letting it go.

Hastily, he kisses your mouth, ignoring his mouth drenched in your essence.

"Baby?"

"Yeah?" You breathlessly ask with wide eyes.

He places a slobbering kiss on your jaw before answering you, "Do you have anything we can play with?"

You shot him a surprised and lowly chuckle, "In the second drawer of the dresser."

-

Nothing can compare to the feeling of entering you and the look on your face as you slowly take his length.

Felix is on cloud nine once his cock is fully buried inside you, he tenderly caresses your cheek and puts your hair to the side.

"Always taking me so well, mmh?" He coos at you.

You smile with your eyes closed as a response to his sweet praise.

It only gets better now that he's getting help from the vibrator he takes from your drawer. He turns it on and it's buzzing in his hand.

Slowly, he puts the vibrator on your clit and pays attention to the facial expression you make as a guide to please you.

It's the first time for him as well to use it on you and feel the vibration even though his cock is snug inside your velvety walls.

"Good, baby?" He asks.

You nod with a blissful smile on your face, squirming on the bed with moans spilling out of your parted mouth.

Felix pauses by turning off the vibrator and begins to slowly thrust into you at a steady pace.

Your eyes are screwed shut and your hands are gripping the sides of your pillow.

"Baby, oh..." You moan out loud.

As much as he wants to please you, he wants to take his time and give you the best of pleasure. He leans down to kiss you again, giving you a break by slowly making out with you.

"Faster, yeah?" He asks against your lips.

"Okay," you answer with your lips wet from the kisses.

He kisses you before getting into position, turning on the vibrator, and changing the speed settings.

It's getting more intense now and he can feel it as you tighten and flutter around him. You're sucking him deeper so that he can't help himself but draw his cock out of you and slowly slip it in.

You're a moaning mess, clawing at the bedsheets and squirming on the bed, "Oh, fu..." your curse goes into a breathless moan.

He can see the sheen of sweat covering your body and tears pooling in the corner of your eyes, overwhelmed by the stimulations he's doing to you.

"Close, baby?"

"Yeah, yeah," you repeatedly answer in a broken voice.

Felix decides to ditch the vibrator and puts all of his focus on you, he's hovering above you, giving you a minute to calm down.

"You feel so good, baby, oh..." he praises along with a hot kiss on your lips.

"Been dreaming of fucking you this good," he murmurs with his mouth planted on your neck.

You hold the nape of his neck and bring his head close for a passionate kiss that takes his breath away. You both gasp for air the second you let go.

"Make me feel good, baby," you whine, arching your back and intentionally clenching around him.

A raw groan rips out of his throat, Felix drops his head into your neck and gathers his senses, or else he'll lose it right there, right now.

"Ain't I making you feel good right now?" He asks.

"I want more," you reply with a naughty grin on your face.

As a boyfriend, Felix will always give you what you want and it happens that he wants the same thing too.

With a deep kiss and he plants his hands against the mattress, he starts thrusting into you again. He sets a steady pace at first, yet a moment later, he loses all control and picks up the speed.

It's getting more intense that he can't contain his grunts and he can feel your nails digging into the flesh on his back.

"Oh, I..." The rest of your words turn incoherent as he mercilessly pounds into you.

Felix lets himself go the second you reach your climax, using every bit of his senses left to get to his release. He crashes his mouth on you and you break the kiss not long after as you let out a loud moan.

He collapses onto you and you wrap your arms around him, reorganizing your breathing with your bodies rising and falling in sync.

"Imagine if we did all that in retreat," you murmur with a quick kiss on his bare shoulder.

Felix's laughs reverberate through your body as he's snuggled on top of you.

"We'd break not only Lana's rules," he props a hand against the mattress and lovingly kisses your lips.

"We'd also break Lana's bank."

-

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[femmescripter]

Medley of Maxley Headcanons

Greetings, all! It's been a long time since I've made an original post. So I wanted to make one for a favorite old pairing I enjoy that's been making a resurgence. A collection of all my Maxley headcanons. I hope that you enjoy them! Species Headcanons Max is a Labradoodle, a designer crossbreed between a Labrador Retriever and a Standard/Miniature Poodle. Along with being great family companions they're known for being great service dogs. Both breeds are in the Sporting Group and are water retriever dogs. He gets his Labrador Retriever side from Goofy and his Standard Poodle side from his late mother. I picked this breed for Max because both breeds have loppy ears, black fur and outgoing personalities. Bradley is a Saluki, a purebred dog that originally comes from the Fertile Crescent region of the Middle East. It is well known for its hunting prowess and hunts by sight rather than scent, making it a sighthound. Additionally in Islamic culture it is the only dog that's described as being clean. I picked this dog for Bradley because the common fur coloring for the breed and its background as a hunting dog fits his personality and overall look. It's also used as a mascot for the Southern Illinois University Carbondale varsity athletic teams, called the Southern Illinois Salukis. And being the athlete that he is just made it an even more perfect choice for Bradley.

Regular Headcanons Bradley, being the Alpha male type that he is, will howl at Max when he walks by to tease him. The first time he did it Max whipped around to slap him out of instinct. Bradley barely dodged it but still likes to tease the cute freshman by howling at him. Now Max just rolls his eyes at the senior. Although he can't deny that he blushes a bit whenever Bradley does it.

Max likes pop music, which surprises a lot of people as he comes off as an alternative music type. And recently he's gotten into city pop(Japanese 70's/80's pop songs). So Bradley takes Max on a surprise trip to Japan to attend a live city pop concert.

Max is a chili head, and Bradley tries to eat a super-hot Serrano pepper chili to impress him. Even in spite of the fact that he has the spice tolerance of a two-year old. It goes about as well as you think. But Max is there with a nice, triple chocolate fudge ice cream cone and gives the Uppercrust a kiss for effort.

Bradley is very possessive and dangerously protective of Max. He does not tolerate anyone who's not part of Max's inner circle touching his freshman. Once at a party a guy tried to get handsy with Max when Bradley turned his head for a moment. Max tried to make the guy back off for his own sake - but it was too late. Bradley already had the creep out on his ear. For the rest of the party Bradley keeps Max sitting in his lap. And even as they leave, he carries Max all the way back to his dorm.

Before either of them enters a skating contest, Max and Bradley always rub noses for good luck. It was a little intimate tradition of theirs that started by accident when they bumped into each other - and their noses touched. Bradley quite liked the sensation, and Max finds it cute how the Uppercrust is a secret romantic. So they started rubbing noses for good luck.

Bradley likes to watch 70's/80's Saturday morning cartoons(i.e. Transformers Generation 1 and G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero), but he never told anyone until he started dating Max. When he told him the Labradoodle started watching the cartoons with Bradley - also having an interest in them. Max even got Bradley a collector's edition action figure from a favorite cartoon of his for his birthday. It was then that Bradley knew he wanted Max to be the new Mr. Uppercrust.

Whenever Bradley is upset he'll seek out Max to lay his head on his lap, and the Labradoodle rubs his scalp. Doesn't matter if Max is at the library studying, chilling at the park or it's late at night and he's about to go to bed. Bradley will text him that he's mad and Max immediately knows what he needs. He'll tell him where he is and Bradley will come to him and lay his head down on his lap, an angry pout on his face as he lets Max rub his scalp. Cute as this is, professors did have to express to Bradley that this isn't allowed in the middle of a midterm. When Bradley proposed to Max, he told him that there was no pressure or expectation to take his name or even hyphenate it. He's actually come to like the name Goof - and knows how much it means to Max. The Labradoodle found this very endearing of the Saluki to reassure him. However Max did at least want to hyphenate his last name. So, on the day of their wedding, Bradley Uppercrust the 3rd and Maximilian Goof-Uppercrust were wedded.

Max does get jealous over Bradley, but it's a bit more complex. Along with general insecurity Max is an angry jealous type. Not angry at Bradley - but angry at the person who tries to steal him or make light of their relationship either by claiming Max is just a gold digger or Bradley just has his wealth and looks to offer. Max would be rightfully pissed and tell off the person by saying Bradley is more than just some rich guy. He may be an arse, but he's trying to do better. And how it's more than he can say for his peers who go out of their way to be nasty people. And if it's someone trying to steal Bradley he tells them off by saying how trashy it is to go after a guy who's already attached and how they could have all the money in the world and still not buy good taste. Then he storms off. Bradley of course is elated to see his normally sweet Goof show some fire. And he spends that whole week just spoiling him from roses to breakfast in bed. Footnote: Don't panic at that last part ! He had someone else cook!

Bradley has always had an affinity for horror movies, so when a school dance was coming he got on a Scream costume and did the whole "Do you like scary movies" bit with Max and towards the end asked if he wants to be his "final girl". Dork that he is Max giggled and said yes.

Bradley was so nervous about asking Goofy for his permission to date/marry Max he actually gave him a bridal dowry. Let's just say you could rent two thirds of Spoonerville for what Bradley gave. But Goofy was cool about it and said that Bradley has his permission. Although he would like a new fishing rod, and Bradley happily got him a top of the line one.

Max wears a white-tailed suit to give the illusion of a gown as the bride and a veil. Bradley wears a classic black tuxedo as the groom. In place of a garter Max wore an ankle band for Bradley to take off and toss. A very special headcanon for all of you House of Mouse enjoyers! Bradley comes to the club every night Max works and always tips him. None of the Gammas, even Tank, go along with him after the first dozen(well for the other members it was the first three times, for Tank it was the first dozen) times because Bradley so shamelessly fawns over Max in his uniform. Older Disney characters like Aladdin and Hercules try to tell him to just talk to Max…but as the kids say, he fumbles the bag. Often. It takes Pongo doing his old ring around the leash trick to literally bring the two together for it to finally click and they actually get together romantically. Max's pet name for Bradley is dreamboat, while the Saluki's pet name for the Labradoodle is macaron. Max speaks fluent French thanks what he learned from his late mother's side of the family, as she originally hailed from Paris. While he doesn't have an accent per se his voice does change into a distinct tone when he speaks French. And it really gets Bradley in a romantic mood any time Max says so much as "croissant". Bradley's Family Headcanons

Bradley having emotionally/physically abusive parents or even a whole rotten family is getting really tired out. So, I'm going to do what Spongebob said and make aggressively NICE people!

Bradley's father, Bradley Uppercrust the Second or Bradman as to avoid confusion with his father or son, is a successful man and a man about town. He's intelligent, a strong leader and also a family man. However…he's a might uncoordinated. Like very uncoordinated. Like…Well like this fella here. For those who don't know, for reference's sake, this is Inspector Clouseau from the original live action Pink Panther film franchise.

Anyway, Bradley could never understand how in the world his accident/danger prone father got to where he was without offing himself just by walking on air. But if nothing else Bradman has a good head on his shoulders(which is amazing that he can keep it on) and is always there to support his son. However, he does wish that Bradley would tone down the intensity at times. As such Bradman views Max as a true blessing as someone who can keep his son grounded and as much on the straight and narrow as possible. Eloise Uppercrust is a mix of two women. The kind you see in beauty pageants, and the kind you see play as the dangerous femme fatale luring the hero to their doom as she was the villain all along. If Bradley got his smarts and looks from his dad, he definitely got his cunning and athletic prowess from his mom. Eloise is not a woman to trifle with, especially when it comes to her loved ones and career. She's a woman filled with ambition and righteous fury. But she can take a moment to settle and be a peaceful lamb when in the presence of her two most favorite men. When it comes to Bradley's fierce competitive streak Eloise does blame herself as she feels she didn't teach her son that there are times when you should stop and not go overboard. So, when Max comes along and shows himself as being both able to keep up with Bradley and having the willpower to make Bradley stop when he needs to, Eloise immediately approves of her future son-in-law. Mercedes Uppercrust, or Mercy for short, is Bradley's tween younger sister. She's usually reserved by nature but does have a wild side that she lets loose when she gets a burst of excitement. Mercy is very close to Bradley but felt that she was losing touch with him after he got more involved with the X-Games and felt that he was more focused on being the champion than he was being a person. And, by extension, being her big brother. So when Max came into the picture and began to help Bradley get on the road to the redemption Mercy looked up to the Labradoodle as a hero. A child prodigy in her own right, Mercedes has a predilection for all things music and cooking. Her favorite instrument to play is the harp and she greatly enjoys baking. And when she learned that Max is a culinary arts major and likes to listen to music Mercedes told Bradley not to blow it with him. Bradley Uppercrust the First, or Grandfather Lee, may be an older gentleman but he has a sharp mind and a strong spirit. Being the doting family man that he is Grandfather Lee loves his son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren very much. When it comes to Bradley he wants nothing more than for him to find the person that he wants to be and for him to be happy in his choice, rather than trying to continue what he thinks is a legacy his grandfather is trying to set up. Grandfather Lee actually takes a great liking to Max as his bright spirit reminds him of his dear late wife. And as it happens the oldest Uppercrust has a rather surprising past that not even Bradley was fully aware of. In his youth, Grandfather Lee was a vocal coach who taught the one and only Powerline. And he was actually backstage when Max and Goofy got on stage with the singer at his concert all those years ago to provide support for his old student. So, in a way, Max has actually "met" Bradley's family early on. Suffice to say - Grandfather Lee gives Max his blessing. Max is a Gamma AU Headcannon

Deciding that he wanted Max apart of the Gammas more than anything, Bradley begrudgingly agreed to let P.J. and Bobby join the Mu Mu fraternity as well. So the freshmen all joined in with the Gammas for the X-Games. And before long Max pretty much became the den mother of the bunch. Having lived with a single dad Max knows about how to run a house and clean. Even though his aloof, free-spirited nature would have you thinking otherwise. He listens to the other Gamma members and talks to them when they need a sympathetic ear. And he knows how to cook actual food, which has certainly worked to strengthen the bonds of brotherhood. Max's kind nature has also helped Bradley chill out. So much that this year he decides not to cheat for the X-Games. Mainly because he knows how disappointed Max would be if he found out.

At some point when Goofy arrives at the college, though, Bradley does feel compelled to come clean to Max about not always having been the nicest guy(understatement) but quickly adds that Max made him want to change. Of course Max is disappointed like he expected him to be. He even contemplates quitting the team. But eventually he's just glad that Bradley decided not to cheat this time - and tells him he'll stay if he puts in the work to win the competition fairly. Bradley does so, and the Gammas do win. It doesn't take much after that before Max and Bradley start dating, and the king soon lands himself a freshman consort.

[yril-writes]

— SHOWER ME WITH LOVE!

scenario ; married au?! How would they express their love and affection to you? Especially when you ask them to?

type ; headcanon

include/s ; ushijima, bokuto, sawamura, kuroo

pairing/s ; character x gn! reader

genre ; fluff, comedy, a mountain full of corn

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

Would probably take you to their hometown and go for a nice hike in the mountains.

Well it could be troublesome to do so, but having the time away from his volleyball career is good enough, since you begged him to pay attention to you, his partner as well. And he listened.

Having a dip in a hot spring is good as well, the stress being removed from all over you, and try to loosen up a bit!

It doesn't look like it, but Ushijima himself enjoys it to an extent. He is more like an action type of guy instead of charming you with his words, since the he isn't that bright at that part at the very least.

After the hot spring, he would give you a massage. Now, wearing robes and now clothing underneath it feels as if it's much free and easy to move around.

A nice refreshing vacation, and Ushijima giving you a massage + pampering you until you fall asleep.

"Just close your eyes and get lost to the feeling, you feel your body loosening up and the sound of the water streams calms you down..."

Well, of course he wouldn't come up with this plan without Tendou helping him out!

BOKUTO KOUTAROU

Bokuto would pamper you with love and affection, it's just that he forgets that it's about you and only you only.

He would take you to the zoo, a zoo date on a hot summer day. Of course.

This man loves birds, that he admires them and goes in an awe. He does this until he gets tired staring at them, as if having an eye staring contest.

Some may say that he is a little bit childish, well they are not wrong there. But Bokuto means good, he really dedicates this date to you and only you.

"I know you're kind of tired with the birds and all, but wait until you see your favorite animal!"

Despite this hot day, you got to see your favorite animal. This then puts a smile on your face. Looking at Bokuto back he grins to himself like his proud of what his done.

You asked to be pampered, and you've got your 50 percent pamper after you mostly pampered him on the way home. Well, we can't blame the man who is clearly obsessed with birds who still wanted to explore more species of it.

SAWAMURA DAICHI

His idea of showering you with love is charming you with his cooking skills. He wasn't that much of a good cook until you thought him before.

Now he knows how to even watch complex cooking tutorials with you teaching him all the roundabouts for a beginner cook.

"The way to my partner is to their stomach!"

Sawamura then placed a bunch of different dishes which you weren't even familiar with. He even made big servings out of it.

Well, he was confident enough that with the both of you eating it all nothing is impossible. He took a huge bite then he did it again and again just by the looks of it he is well satisfied by his cooking.

When you got to have your first bite, you immediately praised him and admired his cooking skills. He was shocked and happy to hear you praise him. He let out a huge grin.

With his food, this was enough for you to feel how much he means it when he loves cooking for you.

KUROO TETSUROU

He would rather pamper a cat rather than pampering a clingy dog, he said. But right now you are both, in need of attention and some of that tender loving care from your husband.

"Hon, I can't believe you're actually behaving like a sassy cat and at the same time a persistent pup."

With that being said, you laid down his thighs as he watches the television. You asked to be petted on your head and kissed on your forehead whenever you asked him to, and he does it.

He was actually getting tired of it, until you started pouting. Of course, he was bothered by it. Started to apologize and even made a greater deal than ever before.

And that is, Kuroo has to say 'I love you' every time he kisses your forehead. It was a funny sight to see but to be pampered like this with so much love and attention how can you not resist.

a/n ; yes! I wanted to make this a fluff instead since I want some comfort to read!

taglist ; @sammushy @gcj-doesart @ryuuudesuwa @jasugoi

check my masterlist if you want more, click on my pfp!

[kaaaaaaarf]

🌒🌓🌔masterlist🌖🌗🌘

hello there! i'm karfy. this blog is 18+. minors dni.

ao3 / spotify / ask me

🌕The big three🌑

You want fluff & smut? I got you.

back when we were dinosaurs (4/4) - (E , 37.7k words, complete, wolfstar, fluff, smut, it's my fictional ode to Toronto) track it under the Museum tag.

Remus is the ROM's newest curator of the paleontological wing. Sirius manages the gift shop and has a dinosaur obsession. They are cute little nerds in love and sometimes they have sex in the archives

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You want cunts to lovers? I got you.

Series: When You Open Your Legs (incomplete) - (E, 42k+ words, WIP, wolfstar, porn with an increasing amount of plot, aka my Hatefuck fic)

Love and hate aren't as far apart as you'd think. When Sirius meets famed rockstar Remus Lupin at a pub, they quickly become arch-enemies—and there's not much to do to but fuck about it.

1 Now I'm Spreading Your Legs (with mine in between) 2 I Got My Spoon (inside your jar) 3 touching me (touching you) 3.5 It's So Shameful of Me (I like you) - a Hatefuck b-side 4 The More You Ignore Me (the closer I get) 4.5 I Had A Dream That You Were Mine - a Hatefuck b-side 4.5 spilling drinks at the bar — a Hatefuck b-side 

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You want a dark comedy? I got you.

The Killing Time (unwillingly mine) (3/3) - (M, 17.5k words, complete, wolfstar, background jegulily, tw: murder) track it under the Murder Husbands tag.

Remus becomes the most prolific serial killer in modern history because Sirius is a slut and won’t stop getting engaged.

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🌕Other fics🌑

✨ no series 🌙 series: hatefuck extended universe 💫 series: the 6ix, or, there and back again 🌠 series: Useless Magic, B-Sides & Rarities 🔨 series: Love, Blood, and Wham: The Life and Death(s) of Remus J. Lupin

✨ check me out - (E, 5k words, wolfstar, university au, smut, written for the MWPProject 2024 Fandom Initiative)

Remus is suddenly sweating—not just because the library aircon seems to be broken, or because he has an eleven page paper that's due next week that he's pretty sure he’s getting zero help on. He's sweating because Sirius keeps looking at him like that—smirking at him from under his eyelashes, a feral spark to his eye like he's starving and Remus is a particularly appealing meal. He’s sweating because this gorgeous, frustrating man has just offered to suck him off in the middle of the library and he can’t think of a single reason to say no. He should be able to think of a reason to say no. He’s not gonna say no. “Uh, yes please.”

✨ i'm green, you're green - (G, 2.9k words, wolfstar, adaptation of Frog and Toad)

Once upon a time, not too long ago, there lived a Frog called Sirius and a Toad called Remus. They were neighbours in a beautiful garden. Oh, how they loved one another! They were the truest of friends. These are their adventures.

✨he's got that (hot) dog in him - (M, 1.2k words, wolfstar, hot dog eating contest crack)

✨ they call it the cockpit - (E, 6.4k words, wolfstar, airport smut, written for the SiriuslyHozierFest)

🌙 Rolling In The Deep - (E, 750 words, divorced wolfstar, crying during sex, hatefucking, porn with very little plot)

🌙 Only Get (My Rocks) Off - (E, 2k words, wolfstar, hoa violations as foreplay, hatefucking, porn with very little plot)

✨ soft like silk chiffon - (E, 1.8k words, wolfstar, remus in a silk slip) / inspired by this gorgeous drawing by @industrations

🌠 You Grew Tall (I Stayed The Same) - (G, 1.4k words, hogwarts era, wolfstar, fluff)

🌠 Savour It (I'm Tasty) - (M, 782 words+, wolfstar, sausage roll crack)

🌠 Ah-Ooh (werewolves of london) - (G, 1k words, hogwarts era, background wolfstar, hurt/comfort if the comfort was a piano)

🌠 Don't Be Scared (i love you) - (G, 1k words, wolfstar, post first wizarding war, hurt/comfort)

🌠 my blood is singing with your voice - (M, 750 words, wolfstar, horror, midsommar au)

🌠 In ár gCroíthe go deo - (T, 1k words, wolfstar, irish remus lupin, older wolfstar)

🌠 I Knew Your Love Before I Knew Your Name - (G, 380 words, wolfstar, cowboy remus)

🌠 Here I Am (a rabbit-hearted boy) - (G, 664 words, hogwarts era, background wolfstar, wererabbit remus crack)

🌠 the day after tomorrow - (G, 641 words, wolfstar, post-war hurt/comfort, sirius as padfoot)

💫 imagine if I never met the broskis - (T, 1.8k words, wolfstar, hogwarts era, crack, toronto mans remus)

💫 oh, it's what you do to me - (T, 930 words, wolfstar, hogwarts era, crack, toronto mans remus)

✨ Nobody parts two rivers met (1/3) - (M, 1k+ words, wolfstar, angst) this is a concept fic based on Liz Phair's album 'Exile in Guyville'. track it here.

🔨 You better watch out, You Better Watch Out, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT (A Murder Husbands b-side) - (T, 1.6k words, wolfstar, jegulily, Christmas fic, Regulus POV)

🔨 taken by the blood moon (a murder husbands b-side) - (M, 1.4k words, wolfstar, Remus is an accidental cult leader)

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🌕Playlists🌑

🎶 All of my playlists are available here. 🎶

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🌕FAQ🌑

Do you take playlist requests?

Yes! I do!

Can I post your fic to Goodreads (or Storygraph)?

No! You may not!

Can I re-post your fic to third party websites, such as Wattpad?

I posted my work to ao3, and there it shall remain. You do not have my permission to re-post any of my works, or upload to sites like lore.fm.

Can I bind your fic?

As long as it's for yourself or as a gift to someone! It must be not-for-profit and please do not use an online (or irl) printing service. I also ask that if you do, that you reach out to me and show me the final product!! I would love to see your binds.

Can I translate your fic into other languages?

I would prefer it if you didn't. Please reach out to me if you want to talk about it, though. There may be certain circumstances where I'd be amenable, but you need to respect it if I say no.

Can I put your fic into an AI generator?

I can't believe I have to say this, but no. Please do not use AI in connection with any of my work. This includes using it to create art based on anything I have created. AI causes harm to artists and authors. Please be cool, you guys.

[mondayxmorning]

A VERY DESCRIPTIVE PROFILE OF YOUR MUSE !!

Repost with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc. if you fail to achieve some of the facts, add some other of your own!

► NAME: tyrone anthony davis jr. ► NICKNAME: ty, big bro, ty jr. ► TITLE(S): college boy's basketball coach. ► AGE: 36-40. ► SPECIES: human. ► SEX: male. ► NATIONALITY: american. ► INTERESTS: watching basketball, thrifting cool yellow mugs and vintage t-shirts (with snoop dogg or tupac), enjoys broadening his music taste and creates dope r&b/rap playlists to play at the parties he hosts, constantly invests on betting games/fantasy football (but is strategic because he's an overthinking saver), loves to visit the beach at sundown, does the occasional hot dog eating contest, and enjoys seeking out learning new things at least once a month (how to roll a joint flawlessly, gameplay tactics, learning asl, how to impress women, etc). ► PROFESSION: college boy's basketball coach. ► EYES: brown. ► HAIR: short and curly black afro. ► POSTURE: slouchy unless at work. ► HEIGHT: 6'1". ► VOICE: deep and strong (loud too) but often soft and sometimes slow to articulate a point. here. ► SIGNATURE OUTFIT: always wears a variety of plain t-shirts with his yellow oversized varsity jacket, sweat pants or athletic shorts with grubby nike or jordan shoes, and all paired with his glamorous watch that never comes off. ► SIGNIFICANT OTHER: verse dependent!! ► COMPANIONS: no pets, however is known for always being close with his sisters (despite the age difference) and grandfather and visits them all alot. ► ANTAGONISTS: idiots! (opposing school coaches and loud parents, anyone whom thinks they're entitled to literally everything, his stalker ex girlfriend). ► STRENGTHS: 3-pointers are his specialty (especially backwards), is a focused painter (loves to do pottery then paint his own designs), can tell real from fake when appraising expensive items (watches, jewelry, shoes), loves spicy food and has no reaction to it, has a heart of gold, is a good listener, will defend his students, knows self-defense (thanks to his upbringing) and according to his sisters "he gives the best hugs". ► WEAKNESSES: can't swim (is also a little self-conscious), took him ages to tie his shoes, falls asleep during boring movies, blasts 90s rap too loud in the car, and sometimes falls too hard too fast over someone he fancies. ► FRUITS: bananas, strawberries, kiwis, red and green grapes, and and apple at lunch each day. ► DRINKS: water, protein strawberry/strawberry banana or spinach smoothies, the occasional can of Pepsi and 2% milk. ► ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES: if offered, he likes: Corona beers and a refreshing Arnold Palmer. ► SMOKES: yes, only local pre-rolled (or rolled by his own hands) mj joints on weekends. ► DRUGS: yes, see above. ► DRIVER’S LICENSE: yes.

stolen from: myself, tagging: @elegancemultimuse, @ghostsxagain, @the-wonderland-jinx, @spllledwlne, @ssvperboy, @wehavefoundthestars, @theseancekid, @horrorscommodity, @heroexxs, @muchallure, @morexfuntomiss and you!

[noisepartythumpingmusic]

HxH Questions! Ideal end/future for your top 5 hxh characters? Which hxh character most likely to win in hot dog eating contest? Which 3 non-main hxh characters would you enjoy seeing a spin off for/chapters focusing on them? Which character(s) do you think would be most difficult or most easy to therapist to?

Fun questions! Thank you friend, sorry about my delay answering.

Ideal end for top 5 characters:

Gon - Wildlife photography, amateur drummer, married to Killua

Killua - Successfully kills his dad, retired early, married to Gon

Alluka - Fashion design school, marries Zushi and Amane and Canary

Leorio - Kills Ging

Kurapika - THERAPY

Hot dog eating contest: Oh it's Uvogin no question easy easy easy

Spins offs for Rat Kite, Koala and Zepile! Do some kind of like...Inside man stealing nazi gold from nazis or something.

Easy to therapist to - Mito really needs a kind empathetic ear that will help her bury a body

Hard - Killua would be a nightmare disaster in the therapy room. Too smart and too stupid simultaneously.

Thank you friend!

[invisibleraven]

Accidentally confessing to each other while laughing over something for Willie/anyone? Please and thank you

Willie groaned as he looked over his schedule for the fall. He'd needed a skills course to graduate, and Dr. Butler the guidance counsellor had told him in no uncertain terms that no, he could not do Woodworking again. Which sucked, because it was an easy A involving him revamping the birdhouse he had made his first year for the third time and not losing a digit to the power saw.

So now Willie was stuck in Home Ec.

He was not looking forward to learning how to cook and sew and a course that still had a syllabus set in the 1950's where the women were expected to make a home while the men worked in ugly suits and ties. Even moreso when he learned the teacher was Miss Abernathy, who looked like she had just finished sucking a lemon every second and hated Willie for skateboarding on school grounds. And for winning the school mural design contest when she wanted her star pupils to win.

Willie just hoped she graded him fairly because he doubted he'd win in the fight over that, he wasn't exactly popular with any of the faculty given the aforementioned skateboarding and tendency to flaut the dress code.

Thankfully when he walked into the class, he spied an empty spot at the bench with Alex and Reggie. "Hey brochachos, you two doing this class?"

Alex rolled his eyes and nodded. "The computer classes were full."

Reggie beamed. "I like baking! My MeeMaw taught me how to do all this stuff, and Alex didn't trust me to take Wood Shop on my own, so here I am."

"Well I know nothing, so you may end up helping me limp my way through," Willie said, pulling his hair into a bun. Grinning to himself when Alex flushed at the move and Reggie failed to meet his eyes.

Look, Willie knew he was hot okay? And he knew that Alex and Reggie thought so too, despite their very established relationship. It wasn't like either of them were hard on the eyes either, so if they ever wanted him to join them, well Willie was game, but he doubted that was a real possibility.

Either way, it was time to focus, as Miss Abernathy walked in, her perpetual scowl present and accounted for and she told them to take out their notebooks for a crash course in health and safety regulations for this class. Willie groaned and wondered if it wasn't too late to switch to art classes.

A few weeks later, Willie was really wishing he had switched to art. He hated sewing, his fingers were constantly getting pricked with the needles, and thus all his fabric was full of small bloodstains. He was terrified of the sewing machine, even more so when Alex used it with ease and managed to make a set of placemats. Reggie had turned in a stuffed dog with a wonky head that he gifted to Willie once he got a decent grade. Willie had managed a passable pair of funky socks, but they had fallen apart in the wash when Willie wore them.

Thankfully now they were moving onto baking. At least this meant they got to eat in class, even if Willie still wasn't sure he should be trusted with spice levels given his very white benchmates. Maybe he'd keep his experiments with poblanos for when he cooked at Julie's house during band meetings.

Band meetings that he went to, because he helped Reggie design merch, helped load and unload the van with Alex. He was fine being an unpaid roadie since it meant he saw every Phantoms show for free and the Molinas fed them all every time they were over, which was pretty often.

"We're making muffins," Alex said as Willie found his seat. "Reg wants blueberry, I think carrot would be better, so you get to break the tie."

"Why not both?' Willie asked. "They might be an interesting combo. But I call not it on grating the carrots."

"That's not...okay," Alex sighed. "You're on dry ingredients, Reggie is on wet."

"You want me to use the lactose free milk sweetness?" Reggie asked.

"Nah, I'm okay having dairy if it's baked," Alex replied. "Willie you vegan this month?"

"I missed honey too much, so no," Willie replied.

"Honey?" Reggie questioned. "Not milk? Butter? Cheese?"

Alex snorted with laughter at that, and Reggie giggled, with Willie joining in. They had many a debate over his love of cheese conflicting with his occasional veganism. And how the vegan cheese downright sucked.

Willie shrugged, still giggling a little. "I like honey."

"I like you too," Reggie said, then slapped a hand over his mouth.

Willie sat up a little straighter at that. "It's okay Reggie. I like you as well, but I gotta say, not the nickname I woulda given you."

"Please, I get stuck with hot dog and he gets something better than honey?" Alex groused playfully.

"He's cowboy obviously," Willie replied. "And I like you too hot dog, don't worry."

"Well d'uh," Alex said, blushing pink. "It hasn't been super obvious what with you flirting and wearing all your crop tops to this class even after the teacher made you sit through three different videos about appropriate clothing to cook in."

Willie shrugged. "It made you both look."

"We were looking anyway," Reggie admitted. "So how about we do these muffins, and maybe enjoy them on a picnic date this afternoon?"

"Sounds good to me," Willie said, and began measuring ingredients. And maybe whisking a little vigorously, covering them in flour, just to make them laugh. Even if they got in trouble and had to stay late to clean up the mess.

Willie didn't mind, and that afternoon, he could care less about the flour still streaking his hair because he had Alex feeding him muffins (he was right about the blueberry carrot combo) while Reggie strummed his six string, serenading them both.

And Willie had never been happier he had to do Home Ec-no matter what grade he got, his new boyfriends were more than worth it.

[consolecadet]

please note that I do not ask for advice anywhere in this post. do not send me advice I did not ask for it

Said yes to going to a queer wrestling thing in Boston in a month. Watched some wrestling videos online to see whether I needed to cancel or start making a flashback contingency plan or whatever. It was surprisingly ok.

Some observations:

Clips from a local league in Worcester were A Problem sometime last year or the year before. I find myself wondering whether 2022’s urgent threat of paraplegia was so much worse than Little Miss Chokes You For Fun that my memories of her feel comparatively less terrifying. I quit therapy and Wellbutrin between then and now, so it’s not like I was working on it with a professional.

Wrestling is so horny. Like…athletic men hitting each other until they bleed and collapse from exhaustion, but also there are pre-negotiated rules and you can tell that they’re collaborating with each other to entertain an audience? That’s just BDSM porn without visible genitals. I will take a heaping scoop, thank you. I’m mad that I’ve been opting out/unable to participate for so long. (These are the fights I watched, if you would like to share in the experience: 1. tokyvideo.com/es/video/jon-moxley-vs-will-ospreay-windy-city-riot-2022. 2. tokyvideo.com/es/video/cm-punk-vs-mjf-dog-collar-match-revolution-2022) (Yes, I did find these from Tumblr wrestling gifs I remembered going viral for seeming whumpy and gay. I assume they’re not representativeof the entire genre. I don’t think I would find Randy Savage particularly appealing.)

I have no idea how straight men are experiencing this or what they are getting out of it. I would kind of like to watch it with them to find out.

As someone whose normal, non-exaggerated facial expressions and body movements have been referred to as exaggerated or theatrical, I feel…weirdly seen.

As someone who’s used his upper body to drag himself across a floor/the bed because his legs were kinda jacked up, I also feel weirdly seen.

I really (ha) felt like I had done all the intellectual processing of the martial arts thing that I could (HA) and thought that all that was left was to decondition my responses to various physical stimuli (HA HA). I’ve already noticed a thing I hadn’t thought of before, which is “If she was constantly ignoring the rules because it amused her to torture me, why did I never do the same to her?” I spent my teens fantasizing about revenge, but it was about making her understand how much she hurt me, not about putting her in a headlock and refusing to stop when she tapped out. You could interpret this as noble, or you could interpret it as [Jenny-Holzer-BY-YOUR-RESPONSE-TO-DANGER.jpg].

I should revisit that sf short I wrote about revenge through body-sharing.

I think if the wrestlers were twelve-year-old girls I would be much more upset.

Is this…sports? Am I enjoying sports? This feels about as much like sports as the demolition derby I went to or the, uh, hot pepper eating contests I have been known to watch on YouTube. Which is not to say that it’s not sports, just that it’s not team sports.

Does this mean I would like NASCAR?????

This experience was so un-horrible that I’m very curious what else is fine now. I think watching IRL wrestling will be fine (fun?!) if the outfits are a little silly and I’m not close enough to smell the pong of sweaty shin guards.

I am only willing to go because 1. I have been in the mood to try stupid shit as long as it won't physically injure me, 2. KC is coming with me, and 3. I already wanted to become better friends with the guy who invited us and then he looked into seating accommodations for the event unprompted, which is easily one of the top five things you can do to earn my trust and respect.

[jmunneytumbler]

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 6/30/23

It’s tennish somewhere. (CREDIT: Wimbledon/Screenshot) Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out. Movies –Every Body (Theaters) –Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (Theaters) Music -Frank Zappa, Funky Nothingness – Posthumous. Sports -Wimbledon (July 3-16 on ESPN) -Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating…

[toinfinitywinning]

My goal is to Watch a Baseball Game on TV this year instead of only supporting their clothing styles. Buttoned tshirts and Preferably the Reds, but I’ve not been to an outdoor sporting event in 26 months. So,

Secondly I just read about a guy eating 32 hotdogs—can the USA not find anything better than a Hot Dog eating contest to compete in? I am positive we are the only country lol. Just Make something up. I mean Guinness record stuff should all have to interview…32. I can’t think of anything worse to do within a time limit. I’d even do math.

3) I have been limited to the bed lately so being March I’m rewatching the 2012 and 2014 post seasons. When they cut the commercials and you have YouTube premium bc u got rid of another subscription in the carousel. I chose not to Watch the U-Conn title game I’m sad enough. have rewatched the 2012. The last 5 min of all of them I literally think they’re going to lose and I already know. I can only relive some of the bad buzzer beaters / close losses per Day. Wisconsin getting us back, Auburn being well, Auburn, and Luke Maye. GOLLY. And per usual Grant Hill and Laettner came up. Can we not?

I forgot a few players Who made HUGE plays in those 2014 games and ppl like Skal or the cute exchange student with dark hair…Tye? Randle was and still is a monster with another all-☆ selection this year. Darkari Johnson—never gave him enough credit. Then noticed the baskets the Harrison Twins got were all like 10 to 5 min under in crunch time. The one for Aaron taking us to the FF is the only points he made that Game. He basically took the Game from no-loss Wichita State with 4 3’s. Jamal Murray was so fun. There is no question Ulis is the best PG. I mean there’s Rondo but idk Ulis is shifty like Rob just slower hips. And Mr. KY Basketball, High School, College championships Darius Miller always came through. Willis and Hawkins were special KY boys too.now we have Reed.

Reed Shep gots to be that for us and I don’t think he won’t. He and Rob are in a lot of people’s NBA top 5. Be like Ant & Mike in 2012. Rob 3, Reed 5.

[wweassets]

Costume Contest anon here… better late than never… let’s celebrate a Happy 2023 with my Fantasy Playgirl 2023 calendar! Here are my proposed layouts… which month are you permanently hanging on your wall?

January: Happy New Year! SETH ROLLINS is wearing a pair of big flashy “2023” shades, along with a fully sheer black mesh bodysuit from SlickItUp. He’s popping a champagne bottle and laughing hysterically among a wall of streamers and confetti, with his erection pointing upwards and to the right in his mesh bodysuit.

February: Celebrating Valentines Day are PRETTY DEADLY. Kit Wilson is laying face down on a massage table fully nude with his fat ass sticking up, and Elton Prince is also nude applying massage oil to Kit’s back. Elton’s erection is resting on top of one of Kit’s large mountainous cheeks and pointing upwards as he reaches over.

March: CARMELO HAYES is sitting alone in his favorite barber salon. He’s fully nude, slouching in the barber’s chair with his legs spread open, and his long erection laid out across his left thigh.

APRIL: It’s time for April showers! Seth Rollins is in the lockeroom at his wrestling school wearing a white cloth robe, when he pulls back the shower curtain to reveal NATHAN FRAZER showering fully nude, photographed from the back. Nathan has his head turned around with a surprised look on his face, as soapy water streams down his back and flows down his fat ass.

May: BRON BREAKKER can’t wait for summer to arrive in Orlando. He’s on his fishing boat in the lake, standing fully nude and his sweaty muscles glistening in the sun, photographed from the back to show off his giant muscular ass. He has his head turned slightly to the camera, with a sexy smirk on his face. APOLLO CREWS is in the boat with him, lounging against a beer cooler facing the camera, glistening in the sun as his erection points upwards into his chiseled abs.

June: Summer’s here and guess who just graduated from Chase U? DUKE HUDSON is standing under the bleachers wearing a graduation cap, wearing his red Chase U arm bands. He’s fully nude, as he’s taken off his black robe and it’s sliding down his legs. He’s resting his erection on his diploma, looking at the camera with a smoldering look.

JULY: The American Nightmare is enjoying the 4th of July! Cody Rhodes is in his back yard wearing an American flag chef’s hat, grilling burgers and hot dogs, standing fully erect.

AUGUST: Trying to keep cool during the heatwave, RICKY STARKS is laying nude on the beach in Miami. As the sun sets in the background, he’s laying on his stomach at the base of the water, and the white tide is slowly coming in and slowly surrounding his huge ass.

SEPTEMBER: Paying tribute to Atlanta, Georgia is AUSTIN THEORY. He’s fully nude on the roof of a red Cadillac, his back turned away from the camera, and going “A-Town Down,” doing a deep squat as he lowers his ass down and shows his hole to the camera. He’s painted his entire fat ass like the peach 🍑 emoji, another tribute to Georgia peaches. (Think Nicki Minaj on her Anaconda artwork)

OCTOBER: Who’s ready for Halloween? FINN BALOR is! He’s back to wearing his Venom makeup on his face and his chest, fully nude, leaning and slouching against the ring ropes fully erect. Instead of red, he’s replaced it with purple to embrace his Judgment Day vibes, giving the camera a middle finger.

NOVEMBER: BROOKS JENSEN is ready for Thanksgiving, but this year he’s the meal! He’s fully nude on top of a dinner table pretending to be cooked turkey, on all 4’s and arching his back, presenting his fat cakes to you. He’s ready for you to dive in and eat him!

DECEMBER: Placing a gift under the Christmas tree is CLAUDIO CASTIGNOLI, who is wearing an ugly Christmas sweater and completely bottomless, arching his back and presenting his muscular ass towards the camera. He has his head turned to the camera, giving it a little wink.

So, who won 2023?

OH WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW NOT TOO LATE AT ALL, you AAAATE AS PER!

amazing stunning epic beautiful show stopping just wow… loved every single one THANK YOU SO MUCH 🙏

3rd: austin theory

2nd: bron and apollo

1st: pretty deadly… the homoeroticism takes the cake IDC

how about y’all?

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

June 18, 2014

SAD DAY ON CONEY ISLAND — MIGHTY JOEY CHESTNUT OUT

NEWS FLASH! World Champion hot-dog-eater Joey Chestnut has been banned from Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest! Hells bells Wilson, what is this world coming to. Chestnut is the perennial winner — 19 years running — of the Independence Day extravaganza and holds the world record of eating (swallowing) 76 beef dogs in 10 minutes. Heck, the entire staff here at Smart Bomb couldn't eat that many franks in 10 minutes — or all day for that matter. The drama is outlined in The Atlantic magazine under the headline, “The Dog Days of Summer”: Turns out that Joey signed a sponsorship deal with another hot dog company — and get this Wilson, they're meatless dogs! Holy s - - t! The host of the Nathan's dog contest, George Shea, told The New York Times, “It would be like back in the day Michael Jordan coming to Nike — who made his Air Jordans — and saying, ‘I am going to rep Adidas too’ … It just can’t happen.” The annual Coney Island glut is no small deal. TV coverage garners more than 1 million viewers. Still, competitive eaters like Chestnut struggle to cash in on their fame. Imagine this Wilson, you're a cashier at a department store and people come up to you and say, oh my god, aren't you Joey Chestnut? WTF — no deal with Nike?

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW HARD IT IS TO BE DONALD TRUMP

Wilson, did you ever consider how difficult it is to be Donald J. Trump? The Democrats want to cut his head off — or so says the big orange guy. “Haul out the Guillotine!” he said last week in a fund-raising email, “is the sick dream of every Trump-deranged lunatic out there!” At a Las Vegas campaign rally the former president asked the adoring crowd what would happen if he were on a battery powered boat that was sinking near a shark. No Wilson, we are not making this up. “Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump in over by the shark... ” FYI: he chose electrocution. What that has to do with anything, we're not sure but it is entertaining in a stupid sort of way. And then there was this: Adam Schiff, D-Cal., told Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee that he would like to quote the jury in Trump's New York hush-money trial: “Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty... (he said 34 times). Fortunately Trump has Marjorie Taylor Greene to defend him. “The Democrats and the fake news media want to constantly talk about ‘Oh, President Trump is a convicted felon,’” she said. “Well, the man that I worship is also a convicted felon, and he was murdered on a Roman cross.” Joy to the world, Don the Christ has come.

NEW ANTI-WOKE WATER — DRINK UP FREEDOM

It's called “Freedom2o” and it will make you giddy with righteousness and the knowledge that you don't have to swallow any more woke water. “This water isn't free but your speech is,” according to a post on “X” during the right-wing Turning Point USA's People's Conference. “It's not just refreshing, it rebellious and it's unapologetic to drink this in public,” said company founder Elizabeth White. “[It] isn’t just about what’s inside the bottle,” she added, “it’s about the message it sends with every sip.” The communiqué apparently being something like the MAGA directive, “F- your feelings.” Yeah Wilson, the right is always being put upon by something or another. Imagine being forced to drink woke water — it's enough to make you puke. As White told the New York Post, she got the idea while watching the Republican debates, where she noticed audience members drinking water that had “no connection to the people drinking it.” Just think of it Wilson, drinking water that you had no political affinity with. You could get that twitchy thing that Democrats have. Or, you might feel like Martha-Ann Alito having to look across the lake at a rainbow flag for an entire month. Boy, she could sure use some Freedom2o now — along with her Glenlivet. Better make that a double.

Post script — That's just about going to do it for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of Mike Lee so you don't have to. Yes Wilson, it is quite a community service when you consider that Utah's senior senator has no soul — he sold it on the cheap to you know who. Recently, Lee voted against a bill guaranteeing IVF (in vitro fertilization), calling it “showboating” by Democrats. Meanwhile, he introduced legislation to stop noncitizen immigrants from voting —there is no evidence they are — which is against the law already. This week The Salt Lake Tribune reported that Lee asked Republicans in an unofficial poll if they would rather listen to NPR, KSL or be waterboarded. Of the 931 respondents, 85.8 percent chose the torture, he said. The tempest in a teapot, according to Trib ace Jeff Parrott, was a response to a social post by KSL that said the Utah GOP had “been running into tough times” and asked if folks were “tired of the Republican Party’s antics?” Your right Wilson, when it comes to fiction Lee is no slouch and he loves to say, I told you so — nanner, nanner nanner. “Waterboarding seems to be enjoying an early lead over listening to either KSL or NPR,” he said, “I totally understand.” Nanner, nanner, nanner. Such a statesman. Rock on, Mike Lee.

OK Wilson, Mike Lee ain't no elitist like them liberal Dems — although he clerked for Samuel Alito; his father, Rex E. Lee, was U.S. solicitor general under Ronald Reagan; his brother Thomas Rex Lee is a justice on the Utah Supreme Court. Oh, and Mike Lee spent much of his youth in an upscale suburb of Washington, D.C. Maybe you and the guys in the band can cook up a nice little ditty for Mike “Me-No-Elitists” Lee.

Some folks are born made to wave the flag Ooh, they're red, white and blue And when the band plays "Hail To The Chief" Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senator's son It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no Some folks are born silver spoon in hand Lord, don't they help themselves, oh But when the taxman come to the door Lord, the house lookin' like a rummage sale, yeah It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son, no, no It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no Some folks inherit star-spangled eyes Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord And when you ask 'em, "How much should we give?" Ooh, they only answer, "More! More! More!" Yo It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, no no no It ain't me, it ain't me...

(Fortunate Son — Credence Clearwater Revival)

[devilsgatewayhq]

The 42nd Annual Fall Bike Festival is a three day event held to unite the town’s residents. Please join us for fun games, rides for the kiddos, food from local small businesses, arts & crafts, contests and performances from your favorite local bands. Find the list of everything you will find and a schedule for the events below: 

Friday: 

11:00am - Performance from Raging Gremlin; an 80’s cover band. 

2:00pm - Bobbing for apples contest. 

2:00pm - 7:00pm - Hay Rides

6:00pm - Performance from Mayra Rojas, Gabe Knox & Rhett Matthews 

Food Truck options: 

Let’s Tacobout It

The Cut (gourmet burgers)

Saturday: 

11:30am - Performance from Rhett Matthews

1:00pm - Pie eating contest

1:30pm Hot dog eating contest

2:00pm - 8:00pm - Hay Rides

6:00pm - Performance from Blake Scott and Shepherd Decker

9:00pm: Karaoke Night Begins

Food Truck options:

The Waffle Goose

Cheese Wizard 

Sunday: 

10:00am - Performance from Tonopah Hills High School Choir

11:30M - Community Brunch (food provided by License to Grill)

12:00pm - 5:00pm - Hay Rides

5:30pm - Traditional Bike ride around Tonopah

Food Truck options:

Chicken Fingers, etc.

Jamaican Me Crazy

Activities:

Hay Rides

Petting zoo & Pony Rides (kiddos) 

Face Painting

Henna Tattoos

Sand Art

Raffles

Pumpkin Patch

Corn Maze

Games: (play and win prizes)

Dunk Tank

Ring Toss

Cornhole

Fish Bowl

Balloon Pop

Ball toss

Water Racing

Basketball Shot

Rides (kids only): 

Petting Zoo + Pony Rides

Motorcycle Jump

Hog Wild

Far West Train (train ride)

Vendors: 

Mad Dog Brewery 

Wertz’s Candies

Blossom’s

Ignition Fitness - offering 2 months free & fruit smoothies

Level Up Barcade - 50% off VR Games

Sweet Dreams Bakeshop

Spill the Beans- offering iced coffees & sweets

Pi-Not Wine

The Book Nook - offering 30% off books

Tonopah Fire fighters serving BBQ

[candy-floss-crazy]

Burger Joints Of The World, Nathan's Famous

Another American chain tracing their history back over 100 years. Starting life as a nickel hot dog stand in Coney Island in 1916, the chain bears the name of it's co founder, Nathan Handwerker. Nathan started the business with his wife Ida. The hot dog recipe they used was her idea, with her grandmother creating the secret spice sauce. Although they were Jewish, their produce lacked rabbinic supervision and the meat wasn't kosher, they advertised it as 'kosher style.' Handwerker was an immigrant who arrived in New York and found work at Feltman's restaurant in Coney Island. Going Into Business For Himself One legend has it that Eddie Cantor and Jimmy Durante, the 'singing waiters' encouraged him to start his own restaurant. The official company history doesn't mention this, but it's a nice story. The couple spent their life savings of $300 to start the business. When he launched he undercut his former employer who was charging 10c for a hot dog. Nathan's came in at 5c! At the time, food regulation wasn't really a thing, and hot dogs were considered cheap fare. Handwerker had customers dressed in surgeons smocks eating at his place, presumably surgeons would only eat good food. By Ajay Suresh from New York, NY, USA Expansion Nathan's son Murray drove the expansion of the chain. A second branch in New York was added in 1959 and a third in 1965. By 1968 the company had gone public. The family sold the chain to a group of private investors in 1987, at which point the chain was franchised and expanded rapidly. They acquired Kenny Rogers Roasters and Miami Subs Grill. By 2001 Nathan's Famous had 24 company owned units, 380 franchised units and 1400 stores in 17 foreign countries around the globe. They signed a deal with major league baseball in 2017 to become the official hot dog sponsor. The original store had remained open 365 days a year since its inception, until being forced to close due to hurricane Sandy, but six months later it was repaired and reopened. One quirk is that the original store still served fried frogs legs which has been on the menu since the 1950's Hot Dog Contest On the 4th July Nathan's Famous hosts an annual hot dog eating contest. Starting in the 1970's the contest sees contestants trying to eat as many hot dogs as possible in 10 minutes. The current record holder is Joey Chestnut with 76 hot dogs and Miki Sudo with 48 and 1/2 for the ladies. By Ajay Suresh from New York, NY, USA Read the full article