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lunar-lattice · 6 years

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Solaris Caelum (1)

Asuka Langley Soryu, the elite Second Child, has been finally put on duty with her backup: the mysterious Fourth Child Kaworu Nagisa. But when Gaghiel attacks before the Third Child can arrive, Asuka launches with Kaworu. But upon synchronization with him, she finds that what she has lived is not how its always been...

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1. Like a Fish Out of Water

Asuka felt sick.

Which was weird considering this was not her first time on a ship nor had she ever gotten sea sick. Even the simulations with 02—which could get really turbulent—never made her sick. Not even her first launch made her nauseous. Well...maybe a little.

She also felt vaguely sad, like something terrible had happened but she couldn't pinpoint what. She shrugged both feelings off and sat up. The sadness was probably because Kaji's reaction that previous night, a memory she did not want to revisit. His rejection didn't mean anything but she would have to strive harder to prove herself as mature. Surely her inevitable fight against an Angel would do it! At least, that's what she told herself.

Still, the thought of Kaji finally telling her that she had grown from a little kid to a beautiful adult woman was more than enough to sober her and she sat up, ready to face the day. After all, today was when she arrived in Tokyo-3!

Along with her backup, whoever he was. Some kid named Kaworu or something.

But who cared about him! He was only the backup and with any luck, she'd never have to surrender Unit 02 to him. After all, 02 was hers. So what if the higher-ups didn't trust her to make it. She'd prove them all wrong.

With a bounce in her step, she opened the box with her clothes, taking the yellow sundress from top. She had packed this in her clothes last for this specific reason, to debut with it. Her whole ensemble was to give herself a good image: to the Third Child, to her backup, to Misato and especially to Kaji.

She smiled to herself. Today was going to be a good day.

Just as she fixed the A10 Nerve clips in her hair, there was a soft knock at her door. She narrowed her eyes. Who was bothering to wake her up at this hour? Surely the Third Child and company hadn't arrived yet.

She opened the door to see a smiling boy, distinctive in his silver hair and crimson eyes. Despite his eerie-colored eyes, they were serene. He was a little off-putting though, to tell the truth. She asked, "Who are you? It's early yet!"

The boy didn't seem fazed in the slightest. He offered his hand, "Kaworu Nagisa. It's early yes, but today's a big day, huh?"

"Oh, right, you must be the backup. Don't get any ideas. I'm Asuka Langley Soryu, the true pilot of Evangelion Unit 02!" she took his hand and firmly shook it, "And of course it's a big day!"

He laughed softly, "Well, I'm looking forward with working with you. I assure you, I'd rather pilot my own EVA than your 02. It's your spotlight."

Asuka rolled her eyes as she walked past him, "Sure you do, Prettyboy Fourth."

Kaworu watched her leave until she turned out of the hall and out of sight. He hadn't yet been in a loop where he was so close to the Second Child. Which, in itself, was a little odd as he was often her replacement after she'd break down and prove unable to pilot 02. Now, he was her backup but she was intact in mind. This would prove to be an interesting loop.

However, he was the Fourth Child instead of the Fifth. The Fourth nearly always ended up piloting Unit 03 which would be possessed by his sibling, Bardiel. While it wasn't a guarantee, this loop seemed too close to the original.

He shook his head to clear it. No, he had to focus on the now. And the now was the likely chance Gaghiel would surface soon. With Asuka here and Shinji en route, it seemed things would play out similarly to how they did in the original loop.

He frowned. But there was always a chance for something to differ.

He hoped for the best as he followed Asuka out to the cafeteria.

Kaworu had gotten his meal and was just about to find a place to sit when a voice called out to him, "Hey!"

A man, Inspector Ryoji Kaji, was waving to him, "Come eat over here, Nagisa!"

Asuka was sitting across from him and turned to see who. Upon seeing him, she turned to Kaji and complained, "Aww, why, Kaji!"

Kaji flashed her a lopsided grin, "You ought to actually talk to your teammate sometime,"

"More like potential replacement," Asuka grumbled, low enough so Kaji wouldn't hear.

Kaworu sat by her, noticing how she leaned away from him. He didn't pay mind to this and bowed his head, "Thank you, Inspector Kaji,"

"Aww, just call me Kaji," he waved him off with one hand and taking a bite of his rice with the other.

Kaworu nodded and dug into his breakfast, assuming the other two would go back to their conversation. However, Kaji prodded him, "So, Kaworu Nagisa, right?"

"You may call me simply Kaworu but yes," he nodded.

"So how do you feel about going to Tokyo-3?"

Kaworu pondered how to answer this. He settled on, "Excited, I like going to new places. I haven't had the chance as of late."

"I know you weren't on the German base with Asuka but where'd they have you?"

Kaworu knew what he was doing, it was what Kaji excelled at. Prodding for information under an innocent facade. And Kaji was a master of the facade. Kaworu wasn't particularly annoyed. If he could, he'd tell him all he knew. But that would lead to Kaji's untimely demise. So he wouldn't. "In England," was the simple answer.

"Didn't know they had anything in England," Kaji commented.

Kaworu declined to elaborate. It grew silent, awkwardly so. Kaji filled it in, "So, what else do you like to do? Can't be piloting training 24/7."

A smile spread across Kaworu's face, "I love music. I play piano. I'm going to dearly miss the one I had back home."

"Asuka plays violin," he jabbed a finger in Asuka's direction.

"Used to!" Asuka snapped, "Why'd you tell him that?"

Kaji smiled innocently, "Shared hobbies is great for team building."

She huffed, "Well, I don't play it anymore so that's that. And you heard him! No piano!"

"I imagine we can get one for Kaworu. And you should go back to it! Music is a good hobby to have! Isn't it, Kaworu?"

Kaworu nodded, "It's always been a healthy outlet for me. We could play a duet. I've never played with someone else."

"No! You'd just use it as an excuse to creep on me! Pervert!" she jolted away from him, looking down her nose at him.

Kaworu blinked, "Why would I do that?" he deadpanned.

"Because you, you..." Asuka's mouth became a firm line, "Because all men are the same!"

Kaworu frowned but decided to not push it, instead going back to delicately eating his rice. "Anyway," Kaji turned to Asuka, "The Third and Operations Director Katsuragi are arriving today to escort you and 02,"

"I know," Asuka answered curtly.

"Are you not curious about the Third at least?"

Asuka frowned. The Third had two solo kills and one partial kill to his name. Yes, she was curious. "Of course!" Asuka grinned, "I want to see who I'm surpassing."

Kaworu wasn't sure what he wanted to do after breakfast but whatever it was, was shoved aside in favor of Asuka dragging him out of the cafeteria with the same grin she had since Kaji asked about the Third Child. She led them out and down into the underbelly of one of the ships. The hallway they entered into opened into a large chamber full of LCL open to the sky if it wasn't for the tarp over it. And on its side in the middle was Evangelion Unit 02. Asuka lead them out to it, having still not said a thing. Kaworu suspected she had an entire spiel.

Once they got there, she climbed out nimbly onto it, and with a flourish, said, "This is Evangelion Unit 02! The first production model, actually. The true Evangelion!" she paused, "But I suppose you knew that already."

Kaworu nodded. Asuka grinned, "So what do you think of it?"

"Uhhh...she's red?"

Asuka rolled her eyes, "Well, obviously. I asked them to paint it red."

Kaworu tilted his head, "You can do that?"

"Well, I don't know if you can."

"I suppose, if I could, I'd like mine to be blue, dark blue precisely," he looked Unit 02 up and down, "But red's a good color."

"Anyways, it's state of the art!" she threw out one arm dramatically, "It's a wonder the prototype and the test type even run! But we have no such fears with 02!"

Asuka smiled, sure of herself—then nearly fell into the LCL as something rocked the ship. Once she regained her balance, she looked up, "The explosion was nearby..."

She scrambled down into the boat. "You don't suppose it was an Angel?" Kaworu asked.

A weird expression flickered over Asuka's face, a mixture of anticipation but fear. She masked it with a determined look, "We should check. They'll have my head if I launch for no reason. The captain doesn’t like me as it is."

They scrambled to the deck as yet another explosion, farther off, rocked the ship. Asuka stopped, gripping the railing and leaned over. In the distance came a rumbling then one of the other ships disappeared into a fountain of water. When it dissipated, there was nothing remaining. Kaworu said softly, "So it is an Angel..."

"A real Angel..." Asuka smiled wide, glancing at Kaworu out of the corner of her eyes, "Now's my chance..."

"Come on, Nagisa! You're coming with me!" she looked back at him with a wide grin.

"You want me to go with you?" Kaworu tilted his head, more confused than anything.

She nodded and dragged them back to the Eva. She left him there then darted into a room joined to the chamber. She returned with a pair of red plugsuits in her hands and shoved the spare plugsuit into his hands. She continued her reasoning on his accompanying her, "Of course! It's an honor, seeing me pilot up close! And getting a chance to even be inside 02! Just put that on and wait for me! You're about to get a hands-on course to piloting! Oh and peek while I'm changing and I'll kick your ass!"

She disappeared back into the room. Kaworu looked at the plugsuit, not worried about it but rather the coming fight. This was much earlier than he expected. Not to mention, he had never synced with someone else in the same Evangelion.

Asuka pulled on the sleeves of the plugsuit and, satisfied, pressed the button on the wrist for it to seal. She rotated her wrists, testing it for feeling. Despite it skin-tight nature, it was easy to move in. She sighed softly and put on a determined expression, "Alright Asuka. Let's go."

She walked back downstairs to find Kaworu fidgeting in his own plugsuit. She smirked, "Huh, you stayed down here. You're a rare breed."

"Oh," Kaworu looked up, having not noticed her arrive.

"Having issues?" she smirked, eying the padded chest of the plugsuit.

"Oh, just it's different from the testing one," he stretched one arm experimentally, "But I'll get used to it."

"Well, it goes with your eyes, Prettyboy,"

"Oh! Well, thank you!" he smiled.

She sighed, already walking down to 02, "That was supposed to be an insult, Fourth."

Launching 02 was easy. Up on the Evangelion, there was a button that triggered the Entry Plug release. And considered it was loaded with the Entry Plug, someone knew Unit 02 needed to be utilized. But Kaworu knew that. Gaghiel attacking the Over the Rainbow was a near constant across timelines, probably because the Dead Sea Scrolls foretold Gaghiel as "The Angel of Fish" and so, it attacking from sea was common. They dropped into the Entry Plug and Asuka settled herself into the seat, pressing a button to retract the Entry Plug. Asuka breathed deeply then spoke something in German.

Fresh LCL flooded the chamber and the two pilots nearly took a breath in sync. Asuka continued in German. She paused after she finished and was greeted by a shrill alarm and red light flooding the Plug. Kaworu frowned, "Is that supposed to happen?"

"No," Asuka hissed, "It's thought noise, you're getting in the way."

"The way?" he echoed.

She rolled her eyes, "You're thinking in Japanese! Think in German!"

"Er, I'm a little rusty, but I'll try. Guten tag?" Kaworu smiled nervously.

Asuka turned to face him, "Idiot! Forget it!"

She turned forward again and commanded, "Switch the base language to Japanese."

A small sound played and she smiled, "Alright, Evangelion Unit 02 activate."

The red light disappeared and was replaced with a whirlwind of light and color as the activation process began. Then, it froze, turning a bloody red. And Asuka arched her back and screamed.

The light, it was everywhere, so horribly bright. Someone was screaming and behind that, someone—or something was singing. The light began to dig through Asuka's brain, ripping the memories hidden there into the forefront. Mama coming back one day different, Mama substituting her for a doll and then, the foregone conclusion: Asuka finding her mother dangling from the ceiling--

"No, don't make me remember!"

Yet more: Shinji's sound rejection to her when she kissed him, her goading him into the shadow, a sound defeat from the angel wearing an Eva, then another from the one with the folding arms, everyone being worried about stupid Shinji when the Eva ate him, it was her birthday and she spent it alone.

"When did this...? I shouldn't remember!"

The bird angel which she didn't even get to touch, the fact the doll saved her, the next one where her Eva wouldn't even move, the news of Kaji's death, her subsequent flight, blissful catatonia--

"Stop!"

Then waking up in her Eva. Her mother was there, had always been there, and she had been too prideful to notice. Her mother was protecting her! She would protect her from the harpies, which circled overhead, looking eerily like vultures instead of Evangelions.

And then—she was cradling her face, her eye having exploded from the nerve damage. Her insides burned and cramped in agonizing pain. Somehow, she weakly muttered, grabbing for the sun, "I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you—"

Then after that, there was just tearing and ripping and so much blood, so much red.

"Asuka, Asuka! It's not real!" Something red bobbed into her vision, looking frantic.

Red eyes, it was the doll! She reached out, entertaining fantasies of wringing her neck, of feeling her grow limp in her hands.

The red-eyed being grabbed her hands and suddenly, she realized it was not the doll but a boy, with the same shade of crimson eyes the First had. Even his skin and hair were light but on his face was actual emotion: urgency and was that fear?

"The Angel!" the boy that she may or may not know cried, jabbing his finger to the view screen.

All she could she see was the wall but the roaring outside told her as much. "Who are you..." she began then really studied him.

The memories she should not have and the ones she should snapped together as one. "You're my replacement!" she hissed.

Kaworu frowned, eyes darting from her and outside. "If we don't defeat this Angel, we'll both be replaced this time," he said slowly.

Asuka gritted her teeth. He was right. Shinji was on his way and even if he didn't have his Eva, the angel could be defeated by him and the First back in Tokyo-3. "Fine, but you better explain later,"

"I will," Kaworu promised, but Asuka didn't acknowledge it, instead grabbing the control yokes and launching 02 into action.

"Why hasn't she launched?" Misato wondered, peering through binoculars down at the carnage.

The group of Misato, Shinji, Toji and Kensuke had arrived too late. The pilot kept them high above in safety but they were helpless but to watch as ship after ship was brought down. Shinji asked, "Can she? You're not there..."

"Doesn't matter. We'll get the permission after the fact. The Angel needs to be destroyed and Asuka is more than capable to do so on her own,," Misato said but her worried expression told the truth.

A high-pitched whistle sounded as a jet flew past them in the direction of Tokyo-3. Misato watched it leave, "What kind of—"

Her statement was cut off as the Over the Rainbow rocked dangerously. Misato feared the worst but a cloaked figure leaped from the depths, nimbly landing on the deck. Kensuke wailed behind her as jets slid off into the ocean. The cloak fell away to reveal 02 who bent down and plugged the umbilical cable in. It then launched off onto the next ship, just as the Angel revealed itself, flopping into the deck ungracefully and snapping at 02. 02 grabbed its jaws and forced them open, holding it shakily. Then the Angel snapped down onto its arms and dragged it overboard.

"Oh god," Misato breathed, "Asuka...."

"What do we do?" Shinji asked, just as softly as his guardian.

"We have to either hope she gets out of it..somehow or if she doesn't, head back to Tokyo-3 and prepare for sortie..."Misato trailed off, "But until the Angel starts going after boats again, we can't be sure."

They sat in an agonizing period of silence. No one was prepared to suggest the worse and a numb shock has settled over them. Shinji realized with a faint horror he might never get to meet the Second Child, and the Fourth if he had been onboard as well. Toji worded his thoughts, "We didn't even get to meet 'em..."

A massive explosion rocked the water then the waters grew still, eerily so. "We might have to prepare for rescue...if she did it..." Misato said softly, in awe of the speed of the kill.

A spreading of crimson confirmed that something had met its demise under the water. Still, she didn't make the command to return yet. On the off-chance Asuka found a way to get out of the water. They sat in silence until the water broke, 02's hand gripping the side of one of the fleet. Another hand appeared with the umbilical cord in hand and the Unit's head breached the water. It clamored onto the deck, almost clumsily then stood to its full height. It turned to the helicopter and flashed a thumbs up. Misato smiled, "She did it."

Kensuke held up his camera, "And I got it all on camera!"

"Which will probably be confiscated," Misato said offhandedly.

Kensuke frowned and drooped, "Aww, I wanted to show my brother..."

Misato's smug smile faltered and she lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "I suppose I can let this one...slip by..."

Kensuke beamed.

Toji grinned, "Wow, what a cool pilot! I hope if they're a girl, she's attractive! How about it, Shinji? What do you think?" he elbowed Shinji in the side.

Shinji jumped slightly and mumbled, "Er, well, I guess that would be cool..."

They landed and were immediately greeted by the captain, who was fuming, "You!" he yelled, pointing at Misato.

Misato blinked innocently, "Yes, Captain?"

"Yes, you! You failed to be here and those brats launched their little toy unsupervised!" he gestured at the missing ships to emphasize it.

Misato followed his finger then said coolly, "Captain, we don't control the whims of the Angels. If we did, we'd tell them to leave. So it wasn't my fault I was "late". I wasn't abandoning my post like someone here."

The captain fumed but turned and left. Coming from where he was the Second and Fourth Children.

Asuka didn't anticipate how angry she'd be when she saw Shinji again. She thought she'd be annoyed but no, his mere presence stoked the flames in her chest, kept alive by all the confusion and anger and pain the memories gave to her. And the Third Child, looking so awkward and innocent, was who she squarely pinned the blame on. Distantly, she acknowledged that this Shinji was not the Shinji that hurt her. Even with that acknowledged, punching his face in seemed to be the perfect outlet for her anger.

But she restrained herself. It would be suspicious. Others perceived Asuka as mostly sweet, if a little abrasive. If she tore the prodigal Third Child apart, she'd become a beast. Then they'd replace her. She found herself glancing at Kaworu, who wasn't looking at her but forward, smiling that smile that was perfectly serene. She wouldn't let him replace her.

And he had some explaining to do so for now, he was off the hook.

Instead of punching Shinji, she shot him a withering glare just long enough for him to notice, then slid into a carefree smile as she walked up to Misato. She greeted her, "Guten tag, Misato! I beat the Angel!"

She paused, glancing out the corner of her eye at Kaworu who was greeting the boys. "Prettyboy Fourth helped too but I did the actual work."

Misato combed her hand through her hair, "Ah, I'm glad though I wish you could have waited..."

She shook her head, "But I suppose they don't wait for anyone. Just this is going to be a paperwork nightmare, what with you launching without a commanding officer."

"Well, it would have killed us all if I hadn't!" Asuka pouted, hands on her hips.

Misato waved her hands, "Oh, I know that! I just don't think all my higher-ups will think that way...," she paused, looking around on the deserted deck, "Hey, where's Kaji? He was supposed to be here with you two!"

Asuka frowned, looking for him too, "I haven't seen him since this morning..."

Misato frowned too, they both coming to the same conclusion. "Well, I imagine he's holed up somewhere. My luck, it would take more than an Angel to get rid of him," she grumbled.

Shinji looked to where Misato and the Second Child, who Kaworu had told him was named Asuka, were chatting. She hadn't done much but glared at him so venomously, that if looks could kill he'd be dead on the floor. "Why did she glare at me?" he asked Kaworu.

Kaworu looked past him to Asuka, "She's just..." he paused, searching for a word, "...not in the best of moods today."

Shinji frowned, "If she hates me, I don't know how we'll work together."

"I'll talk to her, see what's on her mind."

As they walked back into the ship, intent on getting the newcomers fed, Kaworu pulled Asuka into a side room. She hissed and shook him off, "What is it, Fourth?"

"Listen," he brought his voice to a whisper, "You need to act as normal as you can."

"You're mad because I gave Shinji and the stooges the cold shoulder," she crossed her arms.

"It's imperative that no one knows certain things we know. So we need to keep suspicion off of us,"

"Do you know what he did to me?! Back, back..." she gestured vaguely, "...in the other time!"

Kaworu nodded, "Which is why we need to treat him nicely. It will help us immensely if this Shinji doesn't turn into that Shinji."

Asuka fumed but diverted the conversation, "So what about the explanation?! Why do I remember these things?"

"The short version is you might have inherited a part of my...condition. I remember all the previous versions of what has happened. This all has happened before and unless certain things are prevented, it will happen again,"

Asuka frowned, "Time loops, of sorts?"

Kaworu shrugged, "Either that or I'm hopping universes or...something..." he paused, "I'll tell you the rest after we can get alone. We can find a more secure location and our disappearance will not be questioned."

"Fine. Let's go play nice with Third then."

"Any guesses on where Kaji ran off to?" Misato asked once everyone had sat down.

It was lunch time for Asuka and Kaworu but this was the first real meal of the day for everyone else. Asuka looked up from her salad, "No idea. Why?"

She paused and added, "Actually, you seem very worried about him..."

"What! It's not like that!" Misato yelped.

"Just...that no good Kaji, running off when he's supposed to be watching you two!" she stabbed at her pork and ate it, chewing angrily.

"He must have high-tailed it. It's not like he was in any danger," Asuka rolled her eyes, "He doesn't trust me but that's fine."

"So Kaworu, what do you pilot, if Unit 02 is Asuka's?" Shinji asked.

"Technically, I'm the backup but when Unit 03 or 04 come from America, I will pilot one of them," Kaworu replied.

"Two more Eva units! What do you know?!" Kensuke practically shoved his camera into Kaworu's face.

Kaworu blinked, "That's basically it. It's all very secretive."

"Not even who will pilot the other one?"

Kaworu shook his head. "I have a chance!" Kensuke cheered.

"Kaworu, you were with Asuka...wasn't fighting the Angel scary? You both seem so...at ease." Shinji looked from Kaworu to Asuka but glanced away quickly.

Asuka, never one to pass up a chance to gloat, crowed, "I wasn't scared! We came up with a plan and executed it perfectly! You know how we "got caught"?"

Shinji nodded. "Well, we figured the Angel's core was inside and it's massive body was hiding it. So we let it get us, cutting our sync so we suffered minimal damage. That was just a ruse to get at the core, back at the back of the throat. Then we used the umbilical cord as a rope," Asuka explained.

"Wow, Asuka, that's really clever!" Misato said.

Asuka paused then gestured at Kaworu, "Fourth thought of it. I executed it."

"Still, it's brilliant of both of you!" Misato clapped her hands, prompting Toji and Kensuke to join in. Shinji looked flustered at the thought but joined in. Asuka beamed, basking in the praise. Kaworu found himself smiling. This was new but it was nice.

After lunch, the gang took part in idle chat before Kaworu excused himself, with the excuse that he needed rest after the battle. Asuka caught on and used the same excuse. Once out of sight, Asuka took his wrist, "Let's go! Right now! We go into port in about an hour and then we'll have all sorts of official stuff to do!"

"Alright, you know the ship better than me though..."

She nodded and dragged him down the hallway by the wrist. She went took a right, then another right, then a left, and after that Kaworu stopped trying to remember the way. They went up a set of stairs and stopped on the first flight where she gestured for him to stay. She ran up the next flight and looked around before coming back and bringing him up to deck. From there she led him behind a platform that housed the helipad. She sat down with her back against it and gestured for Kaworu to sit by her which he did.

"Alright, Prettyboy, start explaining."

Kaworu sighed and thought for a moment for where he was gonna start and how much he was gonna tell. "First off, where do your memories cut off?"

"Well, we were on the beach after Idiot Shinji tried to strangle me. Then he sat about moping, wondering if anyone was going to return, like Misato or the doll or even..." she paused, "...you."

"Me?" Kaworu was surprised.

"Yeah, he said 'maybe even Kaworu can come back'."

Kaworu bit his lip, "How much do you know of me?"

"Well, one, you were my replacement," she glowered at him then continued, "and two, Shinji had to kill you."

Kaworu would have sighed in relief if he didn't know that would make him look suspicious, "Yes, I was your replacement and I'm sorely sorry for that. And yes, Shinji had to kill me. An Angel took control of Unit 02, using me as a catalyst. To truly kill the Angel, he had to kill me."

Asuka mulled this over then frowned, "Well, I suppose that is why he went the way he did."

Kaworu nodded. He felt terrible for the misleading story but he couldn't trust Asuka just yet to not try to eliminate him if he told her the truth. She may even accuse him using her memories of the past loop as a way to demoralize her. "Anyway," he continued, "for some reason after that, I've been in repeating loops. Repeating is a little bit of a misnomer however, as things are different. There are things that come up a lot though,"

"Sounds good, let's start there," Asuka nodded, "I should be writing this down but that would be a security risk, wouldn't it?"

Kaworu nodded, "To the Commander and his superiors, we are replaceable."

Asuka shuddered, "I can remember."

"Anyways, the Angels tend to me mostly the same in identity but there's been enough with new ones that we cannot discount that. Everyone tends to be in the same relationships, like Toji and Kensuke being Shinji's friends. Sachiel—"

Asuka quirked one eyebrow. "Oh, that's the third Angel's designation. I figured name would be best to identity as they sometimes go out of order," Kaworu explained hastily.

"Just explain which one is which."

"Sachiel, the one with the bird skull, Shamshel, the one with the whip arms, and Ramiel, the diamond, are almost constants. In that order too. Gaghiel, which we just fought, doesn't always come but there is nearly always an Angel which arrives around the same time you're officially deployed. Israfel, the twins, Sandalphon, the magma Angel, Matarael, the spider and Iruel, the virus sometimes don't show up at all. Sahaquiel, the massive one, shows up a little more than them. Bardiel, the parasite is nearly always a constant, "Kaworu grimaced.

Asuka went cold, "That's the one that was in Unit 03."

Kaworu nodded. "And you may pilot Unit 03," Asuka said.

"I am...frightened, admittedly,"

"Theoretically, if we can yank out the Entry Plug, Unit 03 may go cold," Asuka suggested.

"Theoretically, yes...once we get closer, we can discuss it."

Asuka frowned but nodded. "Each Angel after Bardiel is pretty constant too..." Kaworu trailed off.

"Damn, I hate that," Asuka glared out at the sea, thinking of the bird Angel and its bright horrible light.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each child feeling a pit in their stomach and thinking about the certain yet uncertain future. Finally, in a soft voice, Asuka asked, "What about Mama? She's in my Eva, right?"

"Yes, she is. If anything is truly constant, it's the souls within 01 and 02. Be careful while piloting however. A spike in your sync ratio will be suspicious," Kaworu whispered back.

"Damn it...that's so unfair. I hate being on thin ice." Asuka absentmindedly wiped her eyes and Kaworu chose to act like he didn't see it.

"So, Shinji's mother is in 01?" Asuka asked.

Kaworu nodded. "Well, that explains why it goes so ballistic sometimes..." she paused, "God, I don't want to have to talk to Shinji."

"It appears he is the same as he's always been at this point," Kaworu said.

"I know that! I just..." she squeezed her fist, "All I think about when I see him is how he hurt me!"

"The point is so no one is hurt this time around," Kaworu said gently.

She frowned and stayed quiet for a moment, "It went bad around B-Ba...parasite Angel."

"Bardiel," Kaworu supplied.

"Whatever. The next one wasn't any better..." she reflexively rubbed her arms, "I've never told anyone this but...when Misato was away during that time, I was all alone at home. I left the hospital as soon as I could, I hated it there. Misato was never home, she was always overseeing the salvage project. I'd have nightmares about that Angel. And then when I'd wake up, I'd touch my arms and..." she squeezed her eyes shut, "My mind refused to accept I had any."

She sighed, "I will try to be more receptive to Shinji, if you think I should. But I'm not ready to forgive the past Shinji. But you're right. This Shinji is not that one yet."

"You are not that Asuka either. You can change," Kaworu carefully set his hand on her should, prepared for her to shy away.

Other than a cool look his way, she did not. "I don't know how," she said softly.

Kaworu must have knew her past. Asuka wasn't going to ask how but there was no way he didn't. He went through these events multiple times over and he knew her mother was in the Evangelion.

Yet...he treated her with kindness. He didn't judge her.

She didn't understand.

"Let's go and rest until we get into port," Kaworu suggested, noticing how she was staring at the ground, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Yes, let's do that."

#nge #neon genesis evangelion #evangelion #fanfiction #fanfic #asuka langley #kaworu nagisa #wildcat writes #solaris caelum

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