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adorethedistance · 2 years ago

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The Late Late Show - Bella Ramsey x Reader (18+)

General Masterlist

Warnings: (18+ only minors DNI) afab reader, smut, swearing, teasing, lmk if there’s anything else I missed.

Words: 2697

Summary: After a promotional appearance on the Late Late show, you and Bella confess your feelings for one another; your skepticism causes them to prove just how much they like you back.

A/N: It’s almost 1 am. I don’t feel like proof reading this. I want to be done with it. SO here we are LMAO. In all seriousness I’m really stoked on this piece and I hope y’all like it. It’s been a while since I’ve written a full smut so I’m a little rusty.

Pedro, Bella, and I are on the Late Late Show to promote season 2 of The Last of Us, and Mr. James Corden had the incredible idea to make us play ‘spill your guts or fill your guts’. In rehearsal the questions were all mundane and simple to keep the surprises for the actual show. Now that the questions are real, my anxiety has skyrocketed and I anxiously await my turn. So far, Pedro has had a sip of bird saliva and Bella has confessed who their least favorite person to work with in their career was. Now it’s my turn and I’m almost too anxious to comprehend the words coming out of anyone’s mouth. Bella turns the table slowly, watching my face and gauging my reactions to each food as it goes by.

“Y/n.”

“Hm.”

“For this question, I will give you…” They pause to think for a moment, “The one thousand year old egg.” I fight the urge to gag and Bella laughs deviously. They noticed the way I was particularly disturbed by it when we reviewed all the food options on the table for the camera. Bella laughs their adorable laugh after reading the question written on the cue card; I can’t stop the fake frown that’s appeared on my face.

“Which of mine and Pedro’s acting performances were the worst, and why?” The audience erupts into laughter, cheers, and groans as I contemplate how I can answer this question. “There is no way in hell I’m eating that.”

“Then you’ve got to answer.”

“I don’t know! I think you guys aren’t capable of bad performances.”

“Booooo.”

“Why are you booing me?!” I screech in surprise although I can’t help the smile forming on my face. Pedro jumps in,

“That’s a cop-out!”

“That is such a cop-out answer!” Bella laughs, biting their lip and resting their elbows on the table, displaying their hands that are sparsely decorated with rings.

“Why are you guys teaming up on me? This is so unfair. James, do something!”

“My hands are tied-”

“No, they are not it’s your show!”

“That one thousand year old egg isn’t getting any younger,” Bella quips, a devious smirk adorning their features. More laughter from the audience and I look back at Bella with pleading eyes. They raise their eyebrows to taunt me, clearly enjoying how I’m scrambling for answers. I bite the inside of my cheek and playfully glare. Another eyebrow quirk from Bella. On national television?

I cave, “Oh god. Okay, uh, Pedro. Maybe Mando? Since you’ve got the helmet on and we can’t really see your face emote a lot?”

“Kind of a cheat answer but I’ll leave it be,” Bella teases.

“Bella… Maybe Judy since you didn’t have too much on screen time so you weren’t given a lot to work with?” I attempt to calm my breathing as I wait for the other three to either approve or disapprove my answers. The jury is pleased with my response and I’m saved from eating the egg in front of me that is literally black and green.

We continue another rotation of questions going around the table until James takes us to commercial break. Bella, Pedro, and I stand from the table and head back to the couch for our actual interview portion of the show. It’s the last segment before we’re wrapped and I can’t wait to be finished so I can get out of this makeup and borderline black tie attire.

James gives us the standard questions that come with promoting a show and I find myself struggling to stay present. The way Bella moves their hands and the numerous rings that adorn their fingers are eternally captivating.

I want to just reach out and grab it. To hold their hand in mine and exist like that for as long as we possibly could. I want to hold them in my own and kiss them to show how much I care. I want to clench around their hands as I scream their name loud enough for anyone to hear. I want to bite down on exposed skin as they fuck me and tell me I’m their good girl. I crave Bella. I’ve always craved Bella.

“I think we’ve lost her. Y/n?” I hear James’ voice bring me back down to earth. My cheeks are a thousand degrees warmer as I realize I’ve been caught, lost in the fantasy of what it would be like to belong to Bella.

“What?” I ask when I zone back in. Everyone in the room laughs and I try to blink away my embarrassment.

“You play Dina, correct?”

“I do, yes.”

“This is a new character for this season, what can you tell us about her?”

“Yeah, so Dina is Ellie’s love interest in this part of the story,” I proceed to tell James the same basic spiel that I give every interviewer and he listens intently. He asks a few more questions about the characters and what it was like for the three of us to work closely on set. The interview goes over fun, smooth, and funny and before we knew it, the show was wrapped shortly after. Bella disappears almost immediately in search of a bathroom, leaving me with Pedro as James begins talking with one of his producers.

“Are you okay?” Pedro nudges my shoulder to get my attention. I nod rapidly which does not at all minimize his suspicion.

“Yeah, I’m totally good.”

“You were in space for the entire interview. What’s up?” He asks sincerely. Is this something I should tell him? Is this something I shouldn’t tell him? I’m at a loss for direction but Pedro’s reassuring smile reminds me that he is probably the best confidant on planet earth.

“It’s about Bella…” I start off slowly.

“Yeah, you really seem to like them.”

“SHHHH! Why would you say that so loud?!” I whisper shout which if anything draws more attention to us.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Pedro holds both hands up to try and ease my anxiety and I drop my shoulders to try and reel everything back in.

“You’re right, though. I do really like them.”

“Apparently.”

“So what do I do?”

“What do you mean?”

I scowl, “What do you mean what do I mean?”

“It’s obvious they like you as well.” I tilt my head back incredulously.

“What are you talking about?” Pedro laughs heartily before responding,

“I may not be the smartest person in the room but I’m not an idiot. I see how you look at each other. How they look at you.” My heart flutters with excitement. “It’s a huge crush if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Well, what do I do then?” I ask, and we’re back to square one. Pedro shakes his head at my obliviousness.

“You tell them you like them and then kiss!” He says as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. Ever the optimist. As I open my mouth to speak, I cut myself off to see Bella has rejoined the three of us. A quaint smile paints their face and my heart flutters again tenfold.

“What’d I miss?”

“Not much from me but Y/n has something to say.” I go wide-eyed and look at Pedro in panic. If looks could kill he would be a dead man this instant. Bella nods at me expectantly and I feel a rush of anxiety in my core. I do my best to cover up the fact that I’m taking a deep breath to soothe my nerves.

“We should go somewhere… not… here.” Bella laughs at the peculiar rhythm of my speech but agrees and follows me backstage. In the dressing room that we shared when getting ready, I flick the switch that lights up the perimeter of lightbulbs around the vanity mirror. Bella senses the tension that’s practically radiating off of me and closes the door behind us.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay I just-” I trail off in search of the right words.

“...You just what?” Bella asks, gently.

Moment of truth.

“I really like you, Bella. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I’m anxious that bombarding you with this information could scare you away, and then we wouldn’t be friends anymore because it would be too awkward. So then I’d be losing not just my best friend, but also just you as a person and I’d hate for that to happen because I like you as a person too and I-”

“I’ve been waiting for this conversation.” Bella says smugly.

“-Have been so worried about- wait what?” As my whole rambling rant lead me to look down, my head snaps back up. “You’ve been waiting for this?”

“Mhm.”

“Would you care to share with the class?” I ask, facetiously causing them to laugh at the sarcasm.

“Pedro and I actually had a bet going for how long it would take you.” I frown at their words and blink away my confusion. Bella drops the smug smile. They stare at me and I feel my face heat up being under their intense gaze.

“You… don’t like me back?” I say, my heart sinking in panic as I had just bared my soul to them.

“Of course I like you back.”

“Well, don’t say that like it was obvious!”

“I made it pretty obvious.”

“No, you didn’t!”

“We spent Valentine’s day together.”

I open my mouth to protest but close it to consider maybe it wasn’t just a ‘Galentine’s’ hang out.

“But-”

“We literally woke up spooning when we had that sleepover.” I blink. Once, twice, and then shut my eyes completely to block out the visual of Bella’s face as I come to the same conclusion.

“Yeah, I guess it was pretty outright.” They simply nod a yes and I feel the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders at once. “So, you like me?”

“Oh my god-” Bella rolls their eyes, and swiftly comes over to grab my face in their hands and kiss me passionately. Their lips on mine are the symphony of an orchestra that I’ve long awaited. Each movement of our lips, the rhythmic richness of percussion. Their hands tracing down the silhouette of my body, the sensuality of the brass. A desire-filled rush of blood coursing through my entire body, the serenity of the woodwinds. And the intensity of our feelings for one another becoming intertwined into one energy, the complexity of the strings.

I’m fully floating on cloud nine, drifting further and further away from the Earth and into the ethereality of Bella. The kiss started passionately and quickly becomes heated as the two of us revel in our lust for one another.

Bella grips my hair in their hand at the base of my neck, tugging the handful to break the kiss and tilt my chin upwards. They take the new access to kiss and suck the skin of my neck. Grazing their teeth over my larynx, biting into the side and sucking a harsh, clean mark into the exposed flesh. I groan and the sheer eroticism and grip the vanity counter behind me.

Bella’s ringed fingers gently grasp my hips, pushing me back to lean on the counter with more of my weight. They abandon the task of marking me, grabbing the fabric of my dress, pulling it up and cradling the hem of it in their hands at my hip sockets. All the while, they had sunken down to the floor, lustful eyes watching my face as they kneel on the floor.

“Can I?” They ask and I quickly nod yes as my mouth was too dry to form a verbal response. Lifting the hem of the evening dress over their head, Bella bites another hickey into my inner thigh. I squeak at the sensation. It hurts so good.

“Shhh. You’ve gotta stay quiet.” I nod rapidly as reassurance, temporarily forgetting they can’t see my face.

“Got it, sorry.”

“It’s okay, babygirl.” Bella then hooks their fingers into the waistband of the underwear I was wearing. “This okay?”

“Yeah,” I sigh out, anticipation dripping from my voice. They drop the garment to the floor and have me step one foot out of them. My left leg stays anchored on the ground as a point of support since the counter likely wouldn’t hold my entire body weight. Bella guides my right leg up and over their shoulder before they trace their tongue over my glistening core. I whimper out a noise of relief and my head drops back, readying myself for the ride of my life.

Their tongue traces through the folds, trailing up to draw my clit in their mouth. I let out a languorous moan. In an attempt to regulate my breathing, I pull in a deep breath of bliss. Bella expertly devours me and I feel myself pulsating from arousal. Judging by the smug hum of laughter I’m guessing they could feel the movement as well.

I grab the fabric of my dress around my thighs and lift the layers to keep Bella from practically suffocating. They continue, unphased. A euphoric cry escapes my lips when Bella presses two tantalizing fingers inside of me. My hand quickly covers my mouth to try and conceal the undeniable bliss of their hand working in tandem with their mouth. Each stroke of their fingers elicits a ragged moan from my throat and I fight so hard to remain quiet. Then, Bella’s mouth pulls off of my clit with an audible smack.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and come for me?” They ask earnestly and I nod rapidly. Anything to please them. The frantic nature of my response is satisfactory enough and they resume sucking on my swollen clit. I’m almost overstimulated from the pleasure of their mouth working with the rhythmic curling of their fingers. My moans increase tempo as I continue chasing the high. Bella beatifically bobs their head, moving faster to bring me closer to the edge.

Their fingers curve so perfectly against my g-spot and I fight the need to cry out in untamable pleasure. Stimulating the spot brings me closer and closer. I hold the collected fabric of my dress skirt in my left arm, and frantically reach down with my right. Bella masterfully maintains their pace, mouth and fingers working together while their other hand reaches up to interlace their fingers with mine. The thoughtful gesture is arousing in itself and I find my orgasm come to a peak.

I reside in this high for a moment before the waves of pleasure come crashing down over me. I finish with a strangled sob of gratification. Bella’s pace slows but they continue working me through the orgasm until the feeling passes. Once my clit stops pulsating, I feel them pull their mouth off of me with a most sinful pop. They leave our hands intertwined, but take the hand that was inside of me and lift the wet fingers to their lips, sucking off my remaining juices with great pleasure. I can’t help the laugh that escapes me, partly from disbelief but mostly from the residual high. They lock eyes with me and smile innocently, as if they hadn’t just sucked the life out of me in the best way possible.

Bella then wraps both arms around me and holds my body as tightly to their own as they can without hurting me. I then realize they’re doing this because my legs are trembling and they’re allowing me to use them as support. I’m grateful for the attentiveness and melt in their arms, wrapping my own around their shoulders. They hold me like this for a few minutes, and I smile knowing they would have remained there for hours if I’d asked them to.

“You were so good for me, pretty girl.” The praise is of the utmost comfort and I tuck my face into the crook of their neck. Placing soft, practically indebted kisses on their skin serves as a ‘thank you’ since I’m still very much recovering.

“I love being the only one to make you feel this good.”

#Bella Ramsey #Bella Ramsey fanfiction #Bella Ramsey fanfic #Bella Ramsey fic #Bella Ramsey x reader #x reader #Bella Ramsey x fem!reader #Bella Ramsey smut #Bella Ramsey fluff #Bella Ramsey angst #Bella Ramsey writing #Bella Ramsey imagine #Bella Ramsey one shot #Bella Ramsey oneshot #Bella Ramsey x y/n #the last of us #tlou

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cyanide-mustard · 2 months ago

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Chapter 4 ~ I don't have the words to describe (how much you mean to me)

On Ao3

Chapter 4: Fitting into a New Skin

Summary:

James makes a new friend, gets closer with a known friend and comes up with a plan to "fix" her relationship with close friends.

Notes:

AN: There’s gonna be more build up because I cannot imagine this girl falling through a portal and like two weeks after they’re all like let’s fuck lmao. Let me know what you guys think! Here's the alphabet and just a reminder that the translations are always in the end notes! :) A=𝜩, B=𝜣, C=𝝃, D=𝛴, E=𝜓, F=𝝇, G=𝝋, H=𝝺, I=𝛃, J=𝝣, K=𝝥, L=𝟄, M=𝟇, N=𝞖, O=𝝠, P=𝝮, Q=𝞈, R=𝞀, S=𝞏, T=𝞔, U=𝞒, V=𝞃, W=𝝸, X=𝞹, Y=𝞾, Z=��

Chapter Text

“I go on walk,” James said as she stood up abruptly and moved towards the large door of the lab.

“Wait, where are you going to walk?” Viktor asks.

“Outside. I need…I want… I need 𝜩𝛃𝞀….𝞏𝝮𝜩𝝃𝜓” She says desperately, unable to find the word she’s looking for in Piltovian.

“Do you want us to come with you?”

“No, just James, just me” She said firmly before realizing her tone. “Please” she added but not as a question.

She closed the door behind her.

“She’ll be fine,” Jayce said to his partner.

When 10 minutes passed Jayce told Viktor to relax and that she was fine. When 20 minutes passed Jayce told Viktor that she was probably looking at the scenery. When 20 turned to 30 Jayce didn’t give any explanations and when 40 minutes passed they decided to look for her.

They didn’t have to look for long before they heard the sounds of laughter down the hall. When they reached the room at the end of the hall they were shocked by the sight of James sitting with none other than counselor Medarda, both eating a sticky pastry and laughing.

“Pilt𝝠vian hard to l𝜓arn but th𝜓y help. Th𝜓y are like this” James pointed to her sticky pastry.

“Sticky?”

“Haha no no, tast𝜓”

“Oh they are sweet… they are kind”

“Yes, they are kind”

The two women turned around noticing the men.

“Ahh boys, I was just talking to your lovely friend here. I didn’t know Jayce’s childhood friend was such wonderful company, where have you been hiding her?”

“Oh uh yeah, She lives in a small village up in the mountains so I don’t see her often. She’s living with us while she learns Piltovian”

“I didn’t know you knew another language Jayce, I thought Viktor was the only one of the two of you who was bilingual” she said with a hint of suspicion in her voice.

“I don’t speak it often I’m a bit rusty”

“While I’ll let her return to you, I’ve taken up too much of her time already” she turned to James, reaching her arm out, James responded by grasping her lower forearm, to which Mel responded in kind. Both women bowed their heads.

“Goodbye James, I look forward to the next time we meet”

“Goodbye Mel”

When Mel left, the two men were left there trying to play catch up in their minds on what just happened.

“Why does Mel think you’re my childhood friend?” Jayce questioned

“Oh uh… I told her umm.. Not truth”

“You lied to her?”

“Yes I lied”

“That’s my girl” Jayce looked at James in awe “did you hear that Vik? She lied to a counselor, wait no, not a counselor, Medarda, she lied to the counselor Mel Medarda”

Viktor rolled his eyes at his partner’s antics but was impressed by James gaining favour with the counselor so quickly

“Looks like we have a thing or two to learn from our James here” Viktor said before he questioned her, “What was that thing you did before she left? That arm thing you did”

“Oh that fr𝝠m my home, 𝟇𝞾 𝞒𝞖𝛃𝞃𝜓𝞀𝞏𝜓, it is 𝝠h ugh what is word. It is 𝜩 𝞏𝛃��𝞖 𝝠𝝇 𝞀𝜓𝞏𝝮𝜓𝝃𝞔, Mel and James are same on l𝜓vel, we s𝜓e each 𝝠ther the same”

“Why don’t you do that with us?” Jayce asked, partly joking, partly curious. James blushed at his question

“That not sam𝜓, there diff𝜓rent 𝝠ne, I tell you but n𝝠t now. Lat𝜓r”

“Oh speaking of later, Caitlyn will be here in 20 minutes”

James became giddy at the mention of the girl and their shopping plans for the afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two women walked through the streets headed to the shopping district. The conversation was stilted at first, with a language barrier and no Jayce or Viktor buffer the conversation.

James broke the awkward silence first with slow stilted words.

“I am s𝝠rry I do not talk mor𝜓. It is hard t𝝠 learn” She had been correcting and practicing what she wanted to say on the whole walk. “At my hom𝜓, I talked a lot. It is hard not t𝝠 talk a lot now. I am too 𝞈𝞒𝛃𝜓𝞔, I do not like it. I am not …. me”

After a moment of silence, Caitlyn spoke.

“I understand. Feeling not like me, not like yourself” Caitlyn offers a soft smile. “Try, and if you can’t say it in Piltovian say it in your language and I will still listen”

They both stopped walking. James places her hand on Cait’s upper arm.

“Thank you Caitlyn”

They continued to walk, now in comfortable silence.

“Do you know what a bet is?” Cait asked

“A bet? No this is n𝜓w word”

“A bet is putting money down on something you think is likely to happen and if you’re right you get money from the other person but if you're wrong you lose your money.”

“Oo𝝠kay…”

“Like I would bet $15 that Viktor will blow something up in the lab tonight”

“Oh a 𝜣𝜓𝞔!”

Then she looked at James with a mischievous grin.

“Wanna place a bet on fast we can finish our shopping”

James matched her grin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James won $10 in the end. They were done within an hour and a half with 8 bags in between the two of them. Caitlyn and James were incredibly efficient shoppers, getting everything the two of them wanted or needed in impressive timing. They even bought bathing suits; James lit up when hearing about some of the beautiful lakes in the outer parts of Piltover. After telling Cait how she used to swim regularly in her home world, she promised James they would put them to use soon.

The front door was locked, but thankfully James had been given a key for situations just like this. She placed her bags down as soon as she stepped through the door. Before she even got a chance to take off her shoes, she heard muffled sounds from further in the house. She leaned forward to hear the sound better but she should have taken 5 steps back with the moan that cut through the house. If there had been a mirror James would have been able to see that her face was as bright red as a tomato. She decided that now was a good time for another 30 minute walk, so as quietly as she could, she turned around and walked out the door, locking it behind her.

It was bound to happen, the two men were dating, of course they would have sex, in fact it was surprising that she hadn’t already accidentally heard anything. The guilt started to fester within James. She was throwing a wrench in their lives, she was an intrusion in their house and they were just waiting for her to go home. She didn’t know how to get home though. She knows she wasn’t the cause of the portal, the real reason was clouded behind a wall of mist in her mind; everytime she tries to walk through it pushes her back, telling her not yet; when it’s time the mist will clear. She was hoping that she had been led to Jayce and Viktor because they could help her find a way back but she would do it by herself if it meant they got to continue on with their lives without interruptions.

When she returned home she listened for a second to make sure Jayce and Viktor were done with their “activities”. Satisfied with the lack of sound, she slammed the door behind her, announcing her arrival to the house, before picking up the bags she left in the hallway from her first time entering, and brought them to her room.

The exhaustion from the day and the past two weeks caught up to her as she stripped from her clothes of the day and buried herself under the covers. Tomorrow she would make sure she wasn’t a burden.

Notes:

𝜩𝛃𝞀, 𝞏𝝮𝜩𝝃𝜓 = Air, space, 𝟇𝞾 𝞒𝞖𝛃𝞃𝜓𝞀𝞏𝜓 = My universe, 𝜩 𝞏𝛃𝝋𝞖 𝝠𝝇 𝞀𝜓𝞏𝝮𝜓𝝃𝞔 = A sign of respect, 𝞈𝞒𝛃𝜓𝞔 = Quiet, 𝜣𝜓𝞔 = bet

Taglist: @im-just-a-simp-le-whore

#reader insert #original female character #arcance #arcane jayce #jayce arcane #jayce x reader #jayce x viktor #jayce x viktor x reader #jayvik #viktor arcane

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the-kr8tor · 1 year ago

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Lace

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 4.7k

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing), Cursing, CW spiders, TW Arachnophobia, TW violence, CW injury, angst, fluff.

My Navigation

Thread the Needle Masterlist

CHAPTER 6 >>> CHAPTER 7

Your pulse thumps loudly against your skin, swallowing a lump in your throat, you bravely make your way towards your friend. That word hangs loosely in the balance, you have no right to get mad at Hobie, he has no obligation towards your feelings whatsoever. Especially that you've never voiced how much you like him, no how much you came to love him.

You've never exactly pinpointed the time or event that made you love your best friend, but you know deep inside that you have. Whether it was platonic before or romantic after a few years of knowing him. You know that you've loved the same man for years. That's why it hurts so much that he's been ogling the unknown woman in his presence. Hands tucked inside the pockets of his leather jacket, he watches her through half lidded eyes, a smile curling around his lips.

The woman's giggle cuts you like a rusty knife, leaving you bleeding and doubting everything. Doubting all the soft touches and lingering gazes from Hobie all those years of hanging out with him. Maybe you are delusional, your lovesick brain making you think and imagine that a man like him could ever love you back.

You hate yourself for being jealous, the big green monster rearing its ugly head. Whispering and gnawing at your shattering heart. Trying to tamp down the ugly thing, cageing it inside your chest like a feral animal, you exhale a shaky breath. Eyes growing glassy at the sticky kiss she leaves on Hobie's cheek. The large Oscorp museum looms behind the stage, casting a large shadow on the couple, as if the building's hiding them from you, mockingly adding to your pain.

Weaving through the crowd, you catch the last bit of their conversation.

"I'll see you at the after party, right, Hobs?" Her voice is sweet yet it sounds like nails on a chalkboard when she calls him 'Hobs'.

"Sure, Lacey," his voice monotone, "go, we're almost on." Hobie nods at her.

'Lacey' winks at him, giving him a flirty smile, waving goodbye. Her long curls bouncing as she walks away.

Hobie notices someone staring, he cranes his neck, squinting, instantly grinning when he spots you. "Oi! There you are! You're late. Nice boots, are they new?"

You clear your throat, blinking away the tears threatening to spill over. "Yeah" walking closer to him, you give him enough space. Far enough for him to not be able to hold you.

Hobie notices your downturned gaze, "you okay–"

"You made it!" Yuri appears from behind, bounding towards you for a hug. "Look at our lucky charm! Lookin' pretty as always" she holds you at arms length. Giving her the best smile you could muster.

Ned and James join her side, "nice shoes!" Ned exclaims, bass strapped on his back.

"'ave you been cryin'?" James asks, concerned. He (unfortunately for you) noticed your glassy eyes.

"What?" You chuckle softly "No, I had to run here, the wind whipped at my face" trying to save face.

"You sure it's not allergies? Pollen count is at an all time high today" James adds, nodding.

"You learned that at your da's radio show?" Ned teases. James shoves him.

"I'm fine, it's nothing" you shrug, it's not nothing, your heart feels like it's been run over by a train.

"You sure you're okay?" Hobie finally chides in, closing in the distance you've put out. Intertwining your pinkies together.

To Hobie's dismay, you pull away a second later, "yeah, good luck. I'll be in the crowd" you give the band a double thumbs up, "you guys better win!" Trying to sound cheerful.

"Hell yeah, we will!" James pumps his fist in the air for added effect.

You walk away, trying to get in front of the stage for a better view of the show, pushing past the crowd, some seem to be too out of it to notice you. Spotting the familiar curls, you stop in the middle of the crowd that's packed together like sardines. Lacey laughs with her friends, hyping them up, drinks in hand, singing a familiar song.

The lights turn to a different color, red enveloping the stage. You feel like you're underwater, the loud noises muffled in your ears. You can barely hear the announcer introducing the band, eyes fixated towards Lacey, she throws a flying kiss towards the stage. You don't have to look at who the recipient was.

Guitar riffs ring out, Hobie's band starts playing their song, the crowd suddenly rushes in, trying to get to the front of the stage, trapping you. Bouncing around dancing bodies, you can't get out of the wild crowd, some noticing you trying to get out, they move and part for you. But some are way too into it to notice you.

"Excuse me, please! Fuck!" You yell out. A stray elbow hitting you right on your eye. The smacking sound rings in your ears, hand nursing the injury. A hand flings to your cheek, backhanding you. "Fuck!"

"Oi oi, stop! y/n!" Hobie's voice echoes around the venue, you deduce that he grabbed the mic from Ned. The band stops playing.

Half of the crowd doesn't stop, still jumping and bouncing around, guessing they've probably snuck in liquor. You ping pong around sweaty bodies, The only thing you could do was try to protect your head with your arms. Closing your eyes.

"Hoy! Fuckers! He said stop!" Lacey's voice screams out, trying to push past the mass. You can barely hear her through the blood rushing in your ears.

A strong yet familiar arm wraps around your shoulder, looking up you see Hobie arguing with a stranger.

"What the fuck! I said stop! Were you dropped on your head?!" He shoves the man away. Pointing at another trying to argue back. "Fuck off!" He lets go of you, shoving the other with force.

"Hey mate, if she can't handle it, maybe–" The man slurs his words, he couldn't finish his sentence, his face connecting with your knuckles. He should be glad that it wasn't Hobie's or else he would have his rings embedded in his jaw. The man keels over, sobering him up in an instant, groaning in pain.

Hobie looks at you in shock, you look at the men like you want to rip them apart.

Everything crushes you, the weight and pressure of your project, expectations from your family, your love for him. Every insecurity seeps out of your bones, drowning you in its disgusting waters.

You throw your anger at the first thing you see.

"You fucking wanker!" You seethe, your eyes darken, the strangers bear the brunt of your anger. "Stop means stop motherfucker!"

Hobie holds you back, if he doesn't you'll get kicked out of the event, "holy shit" your fist held up, ready to strike again.

You push him off, eye stinging in pain. Huffing, You give the men one last angry glare before stomping away from the crowd, too angry to care that you have an audience. Hobie follows closely behind, calling your name urgently.

"What?!" You turn sharply, the skin around your injured eye slowly turning into a darker color.

"Are you okay?" He asks, hands ghosting over your closed fists.

"Stop asking me if I'm okay, Hobart! Do I look like I'm fucking okay?!" You yell, frustrated, wincing at the pain in your socket. "Fuck!"

Your heart aches when you fight with him, moreso when you yell at Hobie. You're angry but not at Hobie, you're mad at yourself, mad that you've read his love for you as romantic, angry that you never told him how you feel. Furious at your jealousy.

One word stays in your mind, your own voice screaming it out like bloody murder: Coward.

"Love" he says softly, hands wrapping around your tightly closed fists, your nails digging into your palms leaving half moons on the soft skin. Hobie slowly unclenches your fists for you, fingers opening up yours. "You need ice over that, I'll bring you to the first aid station and–"

"You don't have to, just go. Get back on stage" you pull your hands away from him, clenching your hands into fists again.

"y/n, you might be concussed–" Hobie stares at you, concerned.

"Go" you sniff. "I'll go there myself" turning your back on him, Hobie watches you walk away.

—

The first aid station sits further away from the stage, the loud sounds can still be heard from where you're sitting inside the large tent. Cheers echoes out, prompting you to close your eyes at the booming sound.

The frozen ice pack melts in your hand, condensation dripping down on your arm. Your eye socket stings even with the pain meds the nurse gave you. Your head feels like it's trying to escape your skull. Sitting on the plastic chair, elbows propped on your thighs, biting the inside of your cheek when you hear your friends asking for you.

Scooching away from their line of sight, hiding behind a water cooler, you try to make yourself small. You groan when you hear the nurse tell them your location. Your anger has finally subsided, embarrassment replacing it.

Maybe you should've left when you had the chance.

Feet shuffle their way towards you, staying put, staring at the grey concrete, shoes fill your vision. Yuri breaks the silence.

"You've got a mean right hook, remind me to never piss you off"

You don't answer glaring at their shoelaces. The water from the ice pack drops on the concrete, painting it darker.

"Bloody hell, give her some room" Hobie arrives at your side, gesturing for them to give you space.

Hobie crouches down, leveling with your down turned stare. Grabbing the not so frozen ice pack from your hand carefully, avoiding touching your hand, in case you don't want to be touched. He stares at your black eye with concern.

"I made you all lose didn't I?" You stare up at your friends, avoiding Hobie's brown eyes.

"We got third place, I don't count that as a loss. It's better than we hoped for anyway" Ned looks at you apologetically.

"Right, not your fault." James adds. "Competition's hard, love"

"You're just saying that, if Hobie didn't interrupt by saving me, you would've won"

"If Hobie didn't jump in I would've jumped after you instead" Yuri chides in, pocketing her drumsticks.

"Me too" Ned says.

"Me three" James raises his hand, "Hobie just beat us to it" he shrugs.

"Still, I'm sorry," saying it softly. You don't miss the way they avoided asking you if you're okay.

"You're the one with the black eye" Hobie stands up, "can I talk to you?" He asks.

"We'll see you later, yeah?" Ned places a comforting hand on Hobie's shoulder. "As for you," Ned looks at you, "you've got my number, call me whenever or better yet visit me sometime"

You manage to crack a small smile, "I will" you stand up, giving him a hug, squeezing your friend. "Richmond's only an hour away" letting him go, you give him a sad smile.

"That's right, I'm only an hour away" Ned pats your shoulder.

Yuri steps in, holding both your hands, "and I'm just in Cambridge" she hugs you tightly, "don't be a stranger, yeah?"

"I'll come visit you whenever I can then" you squeeze her hands.

"You better" Yuri gives you her rare ten megawatt smile.

"Yuri and I will be classmates so you can visit me too if you want" James pats your back awkwardly.

"Fuck off, no we're not" Yuri scrunches her nose at James.

"We'll see you at the after party, Hobie?" Ned asks the unusually quiet man next to you.

The after party, where she will be waiting for Hobie. You try not to think about it, mentally chastising yourself.

"Nah, I have to get ready for her show."

"That's rescheduled actually, it's happening next week instead of tomorrow" you correct him. Hissing when your skin tugs at your eye.

"We'll be there then if you ever decide to pop in" Yuri informs Hobie.

"Alright, see you" Hobie waves them off. Sitting back down you watch them walk away with sad eyes.

"Can I have my ice pack back?" You groan when the pain pinches your eyelids.

"It's basically water, I'll get you a new one" He moves towards the nurse. You sit there, contemplating the past events.

The green monster peeks back out, shaking its cage, shackles straining against its leg. You try to move away from the image of her hands wrapped around Hobie's necklace that you've given him three birthdays ago, cherry red lipstick sticking to his cheek. The way he looked at her, the fucking pain in your eye. You start seething again, wanting to punch something.

You sigh, palms over your tired face, avoiding your injured eye.

"You al–" he stops himself, walking on eggshells. You don't want him doing that around you. "Here's your ice pack, the nurse said you don't have a concussion so I can take you home. Only if you want to" Hobie hands you the ice pack.

"This seems familiar, huh?" You wince at the cold hitting your skin, trying to cut the tension.

"What?"

"Can you fucking sit down for a second" you gesture towards a chair.

Hobie sighs, sitting down backwards on the chair, resting his chin over the plastic back of it, arms wrapping around it.

"When we first met? Remember that? It was almost exactly like this"

He lets out a breathy laugh, "Right, you threw that sketchbook at Terry. Yuri's right, you've got a dangerous arm"

"Should've gone into baseball, or volleyball at least" you avoid his stare. "We were sharing an ice pack, while we bad mouth Terrence" chuckling sadly at the memory. You don't regret meeting him that day, if you could do it all over again even after knowing what will happen, you would, without question.

"Will you fucking look at me" Hobie asks softly, you jump slightly at his angry tone. "Can you tell me what's eating you, is it the project?"

You wait a few seconds to bravely look at him, your face unreadable. "It's not the project"

"Is it really rescheduled, or you're just trying to get rid of me?" Hobie narrows his eyes at you. You can't read him, his expression flat, except for the slight scowl.

You shake your head, "Why the fuck am I trying to get rid of you? Mrs. Williams had a change of heart and gave us an extension, that's it!" The conversation escalates, frustrated at Hobie for implying that you're getting rid of him. You would never.

"Then why are you angry?" He doesn't raise his voice, he never does, and he won't ever start to.

"Because! I'm–" you hear a loud cough, the nurse glares at you two. Hobie notices, standing up.

"C'mon let's go inside" He stands up.

"Yeah, because arguing inside a museum is much better"

"You think those fucks care about a museum?" He points towards the concert with his thumb, "I looked inside, no one's in there. They're all going to the after party anyway"

Sighing, you want to go home, but knowing Hobie, he won't relent. You wouldn't dare to go to his place instead, not wanting to taint your future home with a fight. Your dorm is out of the question, it's almost midnight, your RA wouldn't let Hobie in. You don't want to run from this, even if it means lying to his face.

"Give me the bloody card" He asks for the favour card tucked inside your pocket.

"You're gonna use one on this?" You hand it to him.

"Yes" he pops one off, Hobie doesn't want to ruin his relationship with you, especially with him not knowing the cause of your anger. So he's willing to do anything to prevent that. The wind carries the logo somewhere.

You wish you're that piece of paper right now. Only seven to go.

—

Walking around the futuristic room, the walls white and pristine, covered in blue neon lights. It looks like you're in one of Ned's favourite sci-fi movie, you can't quite make out the title though. The entire place is silent, with only a handful of people walking around, the only sounds are from displays, machines whirring in the background, and noises made by the displays' speakers. They opened up the museum really late for the concert as a promotion even though most people only stayed for the show.

You stop in front of a display, a projection of some enhanced spider lifting something that's apparently fifty times heavier than its weight. Sitting down on a bench in front of the display, eyes glued to the presentation.

Hobie sits next to you, giving you space. He watches the projection's glow on the side of your face, making it look like there's a giant spider crawling on your skin.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you" you finally break the silence. "I shouldn't have done that, you were only trying to help," eyes still watching the educational video. Taking a deep breath, "Why do you think I'm trying to get rid of you?"

"It's nothing" he watches as the enhanced spider bites another spider, fighting with it.

"It's clearly nothing" you scoff, "that's the first thing you thought of when I told you that the show's rescheduled"

Hobie wishes he brought Terry with him, his leg bouncing, a nervous habit of his. "I'm holding you back." He confesses, wincing, regretting it almost immediately.

Your neck snaps to look at him, "You're not, why would you think that?" You sound angry, but your concern for him wins over. "Why?" Tentatively scooching over, you close the distance, cupping his hand in yours. "If anything I'm holding you back, you could've gone anywhere after you left school. Yet you stayed"

Hobie raises his brow at you, scoffing. At first you thought he'll pull away his hand, instead he drops his forehead on your shoulder, fitting right in. He feels the roughness of your denim jacket, squeezing your hand.

The projector's light envelopes you two in emerald green as it switches to a different scene.

"Why do you think I'm still here?" He finally answers after a few seconds. It felt like hours for you.

"Because I'm your best friend" you say softly.

"Best mates don't look at each other like we do" he gathers all his courage, tired of all the pushing and pulling, tired of being selfish, locking his feelings from you. Hobie cranes his neck up to look into your familiar eyes. The same eyes he's longed for. He's so close to you he could see himself in your glassy eyes.

Your heart beats a thousand times per second, Hobie cups your jaw, gaze falling on your slightly parted lips. You hold his wrist, thumb right on his hastening pulse, you cup his jaw with your free hand, hand soft against his slight stubble.

"Best mates don't touch each other like this," he continues.

Your eyes wander around his face, looking for any lies of what he's told you, flabbergasted at his confession. Your breath is seemingly stuck in your throat, heart stuttering when he slowly closes the gap between you.

You don't pull away.

You can feel him tugging at the loose thread, it feels like it's tightening around you instead of breaking you two apart at the seams. The dam has a sizable crack in its foundation, threatening to burst open.

Hobie leans towards your lips, now or never, he sees you flutter your eyes close, taking it as a sign to seal your lips with his. He feels a crawling sensation on his back, ignoring it, thinking it's his nerves acting up. His heart pounds like a drum, he can't back down now.

"Agh! Fuck!" Hobie suddenly screeches, hands flying towards his nape.

"What? What is it?!" You panic, turning him around, yelping when you see a bright spider latched on his neck. "Fuck!"

"What is it?!"

"Spider!" You try to fling it away using your sleeves, avoiding touching the arachnid.

"It fucking bit me!" Hobie slaps his neck in one swift movement, the spider lays dead, still latched on his skin. "Did I get it?"

"Yeah, let me just–" you take a handkerchief from your pocket, taking the spider away from his skin, "there, got it" showing the spider laying on your pink handkerchief. "Oh god it's red"

"You think it's venomous?"

You laugh wholeheartedly for the first time that night.

"I'm serious, I could die from this" Hobie pokes the spider.

Like it's comedic timing, the narrator from the educational video says, "it's not venomous but it is advised to seek professional help when bitten by the wolf spider, some people could be allergic to their bites–"

Staring at each other, "wow" you manage to say at the same time, you giggle nervously, having no idea how to proceed with how things are now.

"It doesn't look like the wolf spider, they're a different color" Hobie pokes the spider to look at its underbelly, "yeah, different one" he acts as if he's suddenly interested in arachnology.

You look at him with so much endearment, your eyes are practically shaped like hearts.

"What?" Hobie catches your staring, a smile playing on his lips.

"Nothin'" you taunt him with a cheeky smile. He rolls his eyes at you but his smile betrays him.

The intercom rings out, "The museum is now closed, sorry for the early closing" a nasally voice says. "There has been an incident in one of our displays, please leave the museum in an orderly fashion"

Hobie clears his throat, hand scratching at his nape, also not knowing what happens now. "I'll take you home," He stands up, offering you his hand.

"Okay" you feel giddy as you take his outstretched hand. It feels familiar yet oh so different now. You've finally got confirmation about his feelings towards you, no matter how vague it was. You two have all the time in the world to discuss it. You've waited this long, you can endure a few more days of tiptoeing around each other. Baby steps, you think.

Swinging your intertwined hands, you look up at him. "Do you think the incident that they're talking about is this spider?" You pat your jeans pocket where the covered spider is kept. "Like it came out of its enclosure or something?"

"They don't have live specimens here, probably not" he entertains your question, squeezing your hand.

You both leave the museum, hand in hand. Ignoring an alarm blaring from somewhere.

—

You hug Hobie's leather jacket tighter around you, the cold air biting at your cheeks, helping numb the pain in your eye. Hobie takes your helmet off for you, the simple action he's done a million times before makes your heart skip a beat. You watch him with curious eyes, waiting for something to happen between you. The large brick building that houses your dorm looms overhead.

You notice him sweating despite the cold, "How do you feel?" You ask, concerned.

"I feel fine" he takes your helmet back towards the compartment of his motorbike. "Why?"

You step over to him, your palm feeling his forehead for a sign of a fever. "You're sweating, it's like fifteen degrees, why are you sweating?" He leans into your touch, sighing a bit.

"It's because I'm bloody fit" Hobie smirks, winking at you playfully.

You roll your eyes, "what if you're actually allergic to that spider bite? We might need to get you to a hospital" pulling back your hand to your side.

"I'm fine, seriously. I have no idea why I'm sweating though" He wipes his moist forehead.

"Okay. I can come with, just to make sure you don't have a weird reaction to it"

"You'll come to the after party?"

"You're still going to that?" Why? She'll be there, you bite your tongue, jealousy gripping you again. He's not going because of that, right?

"Yeah, It'll probably be the last one with the band, I want to make the most of it"

"Okay, just be careful" you wrap your pinky around his, "ask the others for help if you suddenly feel sick, please?"

"I will. Go to bed, you're knackered. Get some ice on that once you wake up, yeah?"

You bravely stand on your tiptoes to reach his cheek, kissing his skin softly. It feels just right, like your lips were perfectly molded for his cheek. Hobie seems like he ran out of air, frozen into place. He has no idea where to put his hands, your waist seems to be a little suggestive, arms seems to be more on the friendly side, if he grabs the back of your neck, Hobie's afraid he might pull you in for a kiss, which you might not want right now. So he settles for your shoulder, it feels awkward still.

You pull away, seeing a very rare sight of a flustered Hobie. Almost giggling, you clamp down, not wanting to tease him more or he might start hiding this kind of face he's currently making. His pupils are blown out, mouth agape. He returns to his nonchalant expression when he notices you biting your lips to stifle your giggling.

Grabbing his hands in yours, you bat your lashes, "Drive carefully, please?"

Hobie pulls you in by your belt loop, hugging you, his chin rests on the crown of your head, long arms enveloping you. He pokes your scalp with his chin. Your laugh pierces through the dark.

"Yeah, yeah" Pulling away, he carefully grazes his forefinger over to your black eye. "Sorry, 'bout this"

"Not your fault. Thank you for jumping in to save me, even if I yelled at you after" you look at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, again"

He shakes his head, not knowing the exact words to reply to you. Rubbing your leather clad arms, he stops when he reaches your hands. "Keep this for tonight, you can bring it back to me tomorrow, yeah?" Hobie subtly asks you out.

You grin at him asking for you to come visit him the next day. "Mm-hmm, I was gonna visit you anyway. You're due for a fitting"

"Yeah? Finished our baby then?" An excited smile appears on his lips.

"Almost, I think you'll like it" You say smugly.

"You made it, it's a guarantee I'll like it"

—

You adjust the weight of your heavy bag on your shoulder, walking along the water towards Hobie's houseboat. Grinning at the familiar boat, you speed walk to the doors. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, excited to see Hobie again after last night, After his 'confession'.

Hugging his leather jacket around your torso, moving the bag slightly away, just to show him that you didn't forget to bring it with you.

Knocking, you call out to Hobie. "Hey, it's me!"

The boat rocks a bit to the side, tilting your head, curious at what might've caused its movement since the river is calm. Finn is right, you can't hear anything happening inside. The boat tilts again, you hold onto the wall for support.

You knock again, "Hobie! Are you okay in there?"

Hobie finally answers the door, it swings wildly, sweat dripping on his bare chest, still in his boxers, his wicks uncharacteristically standing in messy angles. Gripping the doorknob in an iron hold, his chest heaves up and down like he's run a marathon, or like he just–

Hobie seems like he can't properly construct a proper sentence, he blinks at you through watery eyes, licking his dry lips.

You were about to ask him if he's okay, you freeze in place, face falling when a female voice rings somewhere inside– "Hobs?"

You feel a hole caving in your heart, leaving a Hobie shaped chasm, eyes glistening in the morning sun, you don't even wait for his explanation. You just run, run as fast as your legs could take you. You have no idea where to go. Your heart is shattering with every step, you have no time to pick up the pieces, leaving it scattered in the wind.

You can hear Hobie yelling your name, ignoring his urgent calls, you sprint away.

A/N: Everything will make sense in the next chapter 😉 thank you for reading! Please consider reblogging if you enjoyed it, it encourages me to write more ❤️

*pictures above are from pinterest*

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nolita-fairytale · 2 years ago

Text

still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter one: thursday

summary: you, syd, marcus, and carmy return to where it all began: new york city, prompting you and carmy to think a lot about your past... and your future together. (four part series | follow-up to 'make my heart surrender)

warnings: lots of swearing, tooth-rotting fluff, use of she/her pronouns, the lightest of smut, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 5k

listen to: 91 - bleachers | now i'm in it - haim | bewitched, bothered, and bewildered - ella fitzgerald (playlist here)

a/n: re: the poll -- yall really said 'let this man be happy please!' and i love that for us. if you voted for the other fic, i want to reassure you that i will be writing that one right after this! please enjoy all of the fluff and joy of this four chapter fic. i also feel like i potentially robbed us of a smut scene so... anyone interested in a bonus smut scene as a companion to this chapter?

Thursday

“Alright, guys. We only have a few hours to get our day one prep done. I’ve outlined a schedule for today so that we’re as efficient as possible. Tomorrow’s gotta go smooth, alright?” Carmy instructs, laying out the day.

You listen intently, marveling at your boyfriend in-action. He’s so fearless when he’s in his element, and being back in New York just seems to bring back all the memories of how you met. It’s like you’re twenty seven again, huddling up for a pre-shift meeting, led by recently-promoted wunderkind CDC, Carmen Berzatto.

Only, you’re not twenty seven anymore and Carmy is the love of your life.

“I’m gonna start with the mise for our beef dish, so Syd, can you get working on our signature veal stock? I think we should work with one in the pressure cooker just in case we get short on time and have a back up,” Carmy directs, an intense determination filling his eyes.

He looks from Sydney to Marcus, before continuing his orders.

“Marcus, I need you to start on the ice cream today, chef. I ordered us some liquid nitrogen if we need to make more on the fly, but I’d really prefer not to.”

And then it’s your turn, and boy, do you love to watch him work. You have to fight the corners of your lips from curling into a broad grin because you know now is not the time.

“And lastly, I’m gonna have you work on the pasta. My goal is for us to get all of the agnolotti assembled today, so I’ll jump in when I wrap up with my mise to help you with that, yeah?”

“Heard,” the three of you answer in unison.

Everyone’s got their game faces on because this is a big deal.

The biggest, actually.

Representing The Bear at the James Beard House is more than a big deal – it’s an honor. Only a handful of chefs get invited to cook here per year, and after a little fancy footwork in terms of scheduling, the four of you were finally able to agree on a date with the famous organization. You’re more than elated to be a part of the team, even if you aren’t working at The Bear anymore.

The four of you quickly busy yourselves with setting up your stations. You only have a few hours to accomplish a whole lot of prep, and the pressure sits heavily on each of your shoulders. Tickets to the dinner had sold out within the first hour, which, after all the press, accolades, and media attention the restaurant had earned over the last few years, hadn’t been a huge surprise.

“Think you can keep up, chef? Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ rusty on me,” Marcus quips, already starting the playful trash talking early.

You let out a laugh, before challenging him in jest.

“Damn, Marcus. Hasn’t been that long. Bet I can still kick your ass on a ‘beat the clock’ mise, chef.”

“Oooooh. Shots fired,” Sydney calls out, joining in on your friendly banter.

“Challenge accepted,” Marcus shoots back, almost instantly.

And then you’re scrambling to get as many prep containers and a kitchen scale, as you race your friend and mentee, all in good fun.

You’ve missed this.

It’s only been a few months since you started your new job – a culinary education director at a startup intent on building more sustainable food systems. While your heart would always be at the restaurant, you’d been ready to take on new challenges. The salary pay and benefits didn’t hurt either. You were happy taking a grown-up job, craving a little more stability and normalcy – and so that you and Carmy could stop paying out the ass for health insurance. Besides, you were still working with food. It just looked… well, a lotta different these days.

You’ve missed the fast pace of the kitchen, your people, and Carmy’s desire for excellence, but it’s not like those things have left your life either. You still have them.

After you’d left the restaurant, Marcus had taken over as the head pastry chef. In the last few months, you’ve watched him mentor and inspire a new group of wide-eyed, green, chefs-in-the-making, which had made you prouder than you’d ever have the words for.

You can smell the sharp-allium scent of onions, as Syd quarters them for her stock, and while you have several cartons of eggs and 00 flour, Marcus has gathered all the milk that you’d just purchased for today’s prep.

“Behind,” Carmy says. He passes you by with a few 5 qt storage containers stacked, as he hugs them to his body with one arm.

You feel his other hand place the gentlest touch on the small of your back as he leans in and whispers in your ear, “It’s good to have you back, chef.”

You smile, turning your head just enough to lean back to look at him.

“It’s good to be back, chef.”

He presses the gentlest, slow kiss to your lips, and it feels like time stops for a moment. As he pulls away from you, there’s a small smirk on his face as Sydney shouts, “Oh get a room, you two!”

“If we had the time…” he murmurs quietly, planting one more soft peck onto your lips. His face is still only inches away from yours. You giggle in response, the tender moment filling your heart with warmth.

“Speaking of time… I just bought Marcus a head start,” Carmy teases, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize what he’s doing.

You pull away from him, your head snapping towards Marcus’ direction to see that he’s already filled a 5 qt container to its capacity with one portion of the milk.

“Seriously? Damn it, Carmy!” you cry out, shaking your head. “This is sabotage!”

You hear Marcus laugh in the background and as Carmy walks away with a cheeky feeling of accomplishment. You shake your head in disbelief.

“Sorry, babe. You can deal with a little hazing, yeah? Since you’ve been gone for so long. Gotta give my guy a head start. ‘S only fair.”

“You’re such a dick,” you scowl, scrambling to catch up.

Oh it is so on.

By the time you’re done with your day one prep, the four of you head to the hotel. Luckily, it’s only a five minute walk away, and you’re grateful that the James Beard Foundation chose to partner with one so close. The four of you pull your suitcases down the streets of Greenwich Village, before arriving at the luxurious, vintage-inspired hotel.

You’re eager to get up to your room, as you haven’t had a shower, nor a time to take a break since you all arrived.

“Woah…” Carmy says, his brilliant blue eyes scanning the high end hotel room. “You sure we can afford this?”

You chuckle, “I think uh… they have a partnership with the James Beard Foundation, which is the only way I can answer your question with a ‘yes’ without having to tell you that we have to sell an arm, a leg, and our first born.”

He shoots a half smile in your direction before letting out a whistle as he looks around. The floor to ceiling windows feel way outside of anything you could afford, as Carmy spots the French doors that lead right out onto a terrace. As you continue to explore the rest of the room, you spot a huge tub in the bathroom – something you’re very eager to take advantage of.

“Power nap?” you ask Carmy, setting down your suitcase in the middle of the room.

You’ll put your things away later.

“Fuck yeah,” he agrees eagerly.

You’ve barely put your book bag down before you’re both stripping off your jeans and climbing into the perfectly made hotel bed. After spending the morning traveling, you, Sydney, Marcus, and Carmy had gotten off the plane at JFK and gone straight to the James Beard House in Greenwich. Not only had Carmy been antsy to see the kitchen and get a head start on prep, you hadn’t been able to check into your hotel till this afternoon. You’re both spent, and you know that Carmy’s been running himself ragged preparing for this once in a lifetime opportunity. He hasn’t been sleeping all that well either– his thoughts consumed with nailing down the perfect menu, while paralyzed with indecision.

His quest for perfection had made him irritable over the last few days. You could see that the pressure was getting to him. His appetite was down, he was picking fights with you about small, unnecessary things at home, and pushing Sydney (sometimes a little too hard) at the restaurant.

But today, he seems a little more in control of his feelings, and it puts him a little more at ease now that you’re finally in New York. He knows he’s been driving you crazy all week, and now that you’re all here, he’s hoping he can relax a little.

Now that you’re here, in the city.

Now that the dinner is only a day and a half away.

You’re hoping he’ll slow down at some point too – give himself a little time to enjoy how big of an accomplishment this is. At least by the end of the weekend. Frankly, you’re glad you’ll have Saturday to enjoy the city without any pressure.

For all of your sakes.

You’re surprised that Carmy falls asleep with you during your late afternoon nap. He’s been so wired, so high strung lately, but you’ve just been waiting for him to come back down. Now that it seems like he is, there’s no way in hell you’re going to wake him up. You’re curled up together when you wake, your back pressed against his chest, his arms enveloping you. It feels almost impossible to pry yourself out of his arms without waking him up, but his deep slumber confirms your suspicions and you’re more than willing to let him continue sleeping. It takes a few tries to slip out of his embrace, but you do, and it’s off to the bathroom to get ready for dinner.

You try to make as little noise as possible, but by the time you're out of the shower, and your hair has been blown dry, Carmy’s up. You can hear the hotel TV on as you exit the bathroom and see he’s put his jeans back on. He’s perched on the edge of the bed, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You notice that the dark circles under his eyes that have accumulated over the years seem to sit heavier this week, as his eyes flicker over towards you.

“Damn, my girl’s got style,” he compliments, checking out your all black-ensemble. “We really are back in New York, huh?”

You nod, grinning at his sweet compliment, as you sit down to slip your white sneakers on.

“You meetin’ up with Liz and Maya tonight?” he asks you.

“Yeah. Syd’s gonna join for a bit before her thing. She should uh… be here any minute, actually.” You begin tying up the shoelaces of one of your shoes, before slipping the other one on.

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Nah I-, I'll see ‘em tomorrow right? But tell ‘em I say ‘hello’.”

“Of course. I think they’re both really looking forward to seeing you.”

You check the time on your phone making sure you have enough time, before you make your way to where Carmy sits on the edge of the bed.

“What’re you going to do tonight?” you ask, curiously, stopping so that your body is right in front of his.

“Well Marcus is staging at per se so… I’ll probably just hang out. Order room service or pick up a sandwich across the street. I wanna run through all this shit so tomorrow goes as well as it can,” Carmy answers, waving his notebook at you.

He’s like a man possessed, but it’s one of the many reasons you love him. You pull the notebook out of his hands tossing it somewhere on the bed behind you. You place your knees on each side of his hips, before settling down on top of him.

“Think you can relax a little tonight?”

He pulls you in, his arms moving over your hips. Carmy leans in, placing a small kiss against your glossy lips.

“Think you can help me with that?”

You giggle in response, twisting your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I think… that could be arranged.”

Before anything too spicy can happen, there’s a knock at the door and you know it’s Syd. Carmy groans as you pull away, falling back onto the bed with a sigh of defeat. You climb off of him, heading to answer the door.

“Hey, you ready?” Sydney asks, as you greet her.

“Yeah, let me just grab my phone,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in.

As she enters the hotel room, Carmy’s sitting up. With his feet planted firmly on the ground, he leans over, resting his forearms on his legs as he runs a hand through his messy curls.

Sydney looks from you to a somewhat pouty Carmy, as if she knows she interrupted something.

“Staying in tonight, Carm?” she asks him, as you gather your things.

“Yeah,” he grumbles, and you can’t help but notice how tired he looks.

Sydney rolls her eyes in response, “Don’t worry. I’ll have her back by nine.”

“Alright, I’m ready,” you say with a smile as you address Sydney.

“You guys have fun,” Carmy nods, with a half assed wave.

“Don’t work too hard, boss,” Sydney adds, as the two of you turn to leave. “Oh and Carmy. You’ve got a little…” She gestures towards the lipstick you’ve left on his face.

You laugh in response, and as you close the door, Carmy can hear Sydney’s ‘oh my god, you two are like rabbits’ comment in the distance.

Carmy allows himself to fall back on the bed, reaching above his head to grab his notebook again. He’s honestly grateful to have a night to himself. He’s never been much for going out, or big social events, so having a night in feels like a good kind of calm before the storm – especially because the next few days will be full of social interactions. He’d always found New York City a little overstimulating.

Between the dinner and the reception on Saturday, Carmy felt like he was collapsing under the enormous pressure – his only out being excellence. It’s not just the fact that being invited to cook at the James Beard house was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but there’s important business to announce here too. And then there’s the social aspect of it all, and he can’t help but feel like there are high expectations: from the food world, his reputation, your old friends from New York. And he wants to make everyone happy – he wants to impress them all.

Something about being back here, and being back here with you, has him caught up in his head about it all. This is where you’d met. It’s also where he’d been at his lowest – right before Mikey died. So much has changed, and Carmy feels too large for his old battlefield.

Because that’s what it had been for him: a battlefield.

A battle for his mental health, to rise to the top of the New York City fine dining scene, fighting with his feelings for you.

Over the last two years, he had learned that he didn’t have to fight every single damn day. Some days he could just… be – be himself, whatever the fuck that meant, be a friend, and be with you. It felt strange – familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Being back here makes him somehow feel like the total loser he was six years ago when he first arrived in NYC… and a completely different person at the same time.

While he was over the moon when he got the call from the James Beard Foundation, he also couldn’t fight this uncomfortable feeling that’s been sitting in his stomach all week long. Carmy had never quite been able to come to terms with the whole ‘celebrity’ aspect of the food world. He knew what he could do in the kitchen. That was unquestionable. But the rest of it – the networking, the celebrity chef circles – was the part he felt most unsure about.

Ever since Sydney’s Rising Star win, he’d let her take center stage with her rising visibility in the culinary world. Actually, he’d been grateful that she was so good at it – that it seemed like she enjoyed the part of the job he hated. There was someone to take the pressure off of him – someone who thrived in front of the camera so that he didn’t have to. But he knows at some point this weekend, he’ll have to face the music.

There were big changes coming to The Bear.

It didn’t take long after the initial introductions for your friends to fawn over Sydney. They were more than happy to meet your friend they’d heard all about, and the incredible chef who was shaking up the Chicago food scene.

“Well I’m glad to hear that some things have changed and that working with Carmy’s not a total nightmare any longer-?” Liz concludes your conversation about the restaurant, earning an eye roll from Maya and a laugh from both you and Sydney.

“Oh no it’s still tough sometimes,” Sydney says back. “He has his days. We all do.”

“Liz!” you protest, in regards to the Carmy-bashing.

“What?! You didn’t have to work directly under him back then!” she defends herself, before clarifying with Sydney. “And in his defense, Sydney, it was really our exec chef who was the real nightmare.”

“Oh she works directly under him, alright,” Maya jokes, raising an eyebrow at you.

“And sometimes on top of him, and also-,” you quip back, ready to play along.

“Oh my god, you’re out of control and I am sick of you!” Sydney exclaims with a laugh in reference to your crass comment.

“So tell us more about the new restaurant,” Maya prompts, refocusing the conversation back to Sydney’s previous reveal.

Sydney tells your friends about The Bear’s plans to expand, and shares ideas she has that even you haven’t heard from Carmy yet. As she wraps up her story, she realizes what time it is, meaning that she’s gotta head uptown soon. She really only was supposed to stay for a glass of wine, but meeting your friends has been so fun that she’s lost track of time.

“Shit. I have to head out,” she says. “But I’ve really loved meeting you guys. You’re coming to the dinner tomorrow night, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Absolutely.”

“And the reception!” you add gleefully, so glad you get to see your best friends three days in a row.

“It’s been really great meeting you, Sydney,” Liz says, shooting you a look of approval. She squeezes your hand under the table momentarily, before saying, “Thanks for taking care of our girl. She speaks so highly of you.”

“Where are you off to next?” Maya asks, excitedly.

“Syd’s got dinner plans,” you answer, waiting for Sydney to provide more detail.

“Yeah, I uh-, I got invited to one of the To Be Hosted events and it just worked out that we’d be in town for this the same weekend,” Sydney replies, a glimmer of excitement flashing through her eyes as she shares.

“Damn, you got invited to a supper club?” Liz marvels. “Okay!”

“Yeah because she’s a rockstar,” you cheer your friend on, saying it so matter of factly that even a stranger would believe you.

You all say your goodbyes to Sydney before ordering food. It feels so good to be back in the city, back here with some of your best friends. Maya and Liz had been the friends that held you up, and you them, when you lived here. While you had met Liz at your last job, a sous chef under Carmy’s leadership, Maya worked in fashion and the two of you had become fast friends after meeting through an ex-boyfriend. Once you introduced the two of them to each other, the three of you had been inseparable ever since.

They had always been your biggest cheerleaders – especially when it came to you and Carmy.

“She’s great,” Maya says, in reference to Sydney.

“Right? I’m so excited for her. This is a huge deal: create her own menu, a chance to run kitchen without Carmy…” you agree, feeling deep satisfaction over the amazing people you have in your life. “We’re announcing the big news at the dinner tomorrow.”

“Speaking of, how is our favorite guy? What’s he up to tonight?” Maya asks, guiding the conversation back to Carmy.

“I told him he could come but I think he wanted to stay in tonight. I think he needs some time to decompress. He’s been pretty high strung all week,” you answer.

“Carmy? High strung?” Liz asks back sarcastically, earning a laugh from you. “I’m kidding! I really am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow.

Maya shakes her head, before taking a sip of her glass of wine. She’s always adored Carmy, but knows that Liz has a different relationship with him, having worked as a line cook.

“You guys are… getting serious, huh?” Liz asks, glancing over at you.

“Um.. I think those two were married after their first coffee date,” Maya adds.

“It was not a date!” you insist, shooting her a look.

Liz lets out an unconvinced laugh, and you accept defeat because you know they’ve always been right about you and Carmy.

“Maya, don’t forget. Our girl is and has always been the Queen of Denial,” Liz adds, winking in your direction.

“Oh ha-ha. You guys are so funny,” you reply dryly. You nod, thinking about you and Carmy’s relationship over the last few years. “Yeah uh… it’ll be three years in the Fall so… you could say it’s getting pretty serious.”

Your friends are beaming back at you in response to your admission, and while you’d love to spend all night talking about how head over heels you are for Carmy, you’re also kind of ready to shift the attention off of you and your relationship.

“Enough about me. What’s going on with you guys?” you change the subject.

It feels so good to catch up with your girl friends. You all agree to make it an early night. While Maya’s husband had agreed to put their kid to bed, she wants to make it home in time anyways. Liz has a date later, and before you know it, you’ve wrapped up dinner and are walking back to your hotel. You send Carmy a quick text, because you’re only a few blocks away.

You: On the way back.

New York City has always been so inspiring to you. The city itself feels alive – like there’s an electric undercurrent that always makes you feel so full. There’s never a dull moment, and it feels as if the potential for a wild adventure is always around the corner. It’s also the place that you and Carmy met, all those years ago. It’s funny. The version of you that met him six years ago never could’ve predicted this: that you’d actually get to be here together, after almost three years of loving each other fiercely.

Your friends were and always have been right about you.

Back then, you were Queen of Denial and even then, Carmy had been your king.

But you’re here now: in the city you met in, stupidly in love with the man you’d met six years ago who had seemed terrified to merely have a conversation with you.

Your phone buzzes in your hand, interrupting your trip down memory lane, as you peek at the text you just received.

Carmy: Went out for a walk and a smoke.

You type back a quick, yet short reply.

You: Love you.

When you return to the hotel room, you enjoy the quiet of the evening. It still feels like spring in NYC, so you open a window because it just feels too damn good outside. No wonder he’d gone for a walk. You kick your shoes off, placing them gently by the door, before stripping off your jacket and heading into the bathroom.

As you pull your hair up and out of your face, piling it into one conglomerate on top of your head, you eye the large bathtub you’d admired earlier. Not only are you in need of a relaxing soak, but you’re hoping you can persuade Carmy to join you – maybe even help him destress a little. You don’t think twice about it, as you strip off all of your clothes, sliding on one of the fluffy robes that the hotel has provided. You flip on the hot water, the sound of rumbling water against tile hitting your ears.

There’s a bath soak in a glass jar that you find on the bathroom counter, before adding it to the increasingly hot water. While it looks like a mixture of some kind of soak and epsom salt, large bubbles begin to form underneath the rapid stream of the faucet, and you inhale deeply.

Lavender. Vanilla. Chamomile, maybe?

The smell puts you at ease and you can feel your shoulders melting away from your ears.

It’s not long before Carmy returns, the bathtub is almost at its capacity and the bath soak that you put in the hot water has bubbled up and blossomed into large, sudsy configurations. You’ve put on a jazz playlist, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filling the small space as you hum along.

“Babe?” Carmy calls out to you, as you hear the front door close behind him.

“I’m in here,” you call to him, turning the volume of your phone down a few levels. .

You hear a shuffle of shoes, before he’s peeking around the door frame, his eyes lighting up as soon as he sees you. He knows it’s silly. It’s not like he’s been able to be very present over the last week, and it begins to dawn on him that he’s missed you.

“How was your walk?” you ask softly.

“Good.”

He looks around the bathroom, the air thick with humidity from the hot water. You turn the faucet off, as you’ve now filled the tub to its capacity.

“You look comfy.”

“I am. It’s a very comfy robe.”

You wait a beat before preparing your ask.

“Big tub,” you entice him, gesturing towards the bubble bath that awaits you.

“Yeah?” he asks, a half smile on the edges of his lips as he takes a step towards you.

“Big enough for two,” you nod, making your case.

It’s all the convincing he needs. You’re removing your robe, leaving your bare body on display for him to see, and soon enough, he’s stripping down and climbing into the bathtub with you. You share an awkward laugh as the two of you clumsily figure out how to position yourselves for optimal comfort. Your back is pressed against his chest, and you’re truly in awe of the large bathtub that somehow holds the both of you.

It becomes progressively easier for Carmy to relax. Between the hot water, and your naked body pressed against his, thoughts and worries about tomorrow begin to slip away. The two of you enjoy the quiet intimacy between you, the soft sounds of your favorite jazz standards, and Carmy’s lazily dragging his fingertips across any bit of exposed skin that he can.

You lean your head back against his shoulder, and Carmy buries his face in the crevice where your neck and shoulders meet.

“Why don’t we do this more often?” he asks, in between leaving a few slow-paced, soft kisses across your shoulders.

“Hm?” you hum in response. From the way his mouth and hands move across your body, and the silky feeling of the hot water, you barely have a thought left in your head.

“This whole… bath thing,” he clarifies, exhaling a deep sigh.

This may be the most relaxed he’s felt all week and he likes that you seem to be enjoying this too.

“Probably because we have a tub that I can only assume was built for a small show dog,” you joke.

He laughs dryly.

“Fair enough.”

Carmy waits a beat before speaking again, enjoying how his mind has quieted for the first time in days.

“Let’s put it on the list… for when we’re ready to move to a new place,” he suggests, quietly.

“Somewhere with a big tub?” you ask, only sort of surprised by his request.

“Yeah.”

You turn your head to look at him, as Carmy presses a searing kiss to your lips. You feel his hand snake between your legs and you begin to understand exactly why he’s enjoying this whole bath thing.

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” he whispers against your lips. “Think you maybe want to get out of this tub…”

Another kiss.

“… dry off…”

You slide your tongue against his as his fingertips move higher up your inner thigh, earning a hiss of pleasure from you.

“…not put our clothes back on?”

And then he’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues his exploration. Your head is spinning, and it’s not just the hot water that makes you feel as if your soul was set aflame.

“Yes.”

The next morning, you wake up alone. On the bedside table there’s a note in Carmy’s scratchy handwriting that reads:

Couldn’t sleep. Went to Chelsea Market. Love you.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Last night had been incredible but you also knew it’d be back to the grind today. While you’re excited for him – and for tonight – you’re also kind of ready for this to be over. You’re ready to have your boyfriend back.

read: bonus smut scene | chapter two

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila

#carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmy x oc #the bear hulu #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto headcanon #the bear headcanon #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto fluff #make my heart surrender

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socgf · 6 months ago

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they hate when you serve big brown doe eyes dark hair flirty pout and chiseled cheeks

#i’m gnawing at the bars of my enclosure #matt dillon #dallas winston #the outsiders #dallas winston x y/n #dallas winston hcs #dallas winston x reader #dallas winston headcanons #rusty james #rumble fish

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buckys-little-belle · 1 year ago

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Kitty Cat Pt Two

marauders (remus, james, and sirius) x little!reader (they/them pronouns used)

warnings - none!

note - i’ve been getting lots of love on the first set of head-cannons for these boys and their little who’s animagus is a cat (a kitten when little) so i thought i’d pop in with some more headcannons! it’s been a while so i’m a little rusty, but just got inspired randomly!!! <3

note two - these really aren’t my best work, but it’s fun … so enjoy!

. ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ .

the boys notice that when y/n is a kitten they always end up curled up on the floor in a sun spot so for the winter holiday they buy them a small cat tree that sits by the window so they can sunbathe somewhere comfy

james definitely convinces a family member to knit a small cat vest for y/n, it’s red and yellow to represent the boys, not matter their actual house y/n is always repping gryffindor somehow

james’ mom stuffs a yarn ball into his suitcase and when y/n finds it the room gets wrapped up like a gift, they had to cut the yarn in so many places it ended up being more trash than treasure by the time they were done with it

sirius and y/n still go on walks in the winter but he’s always holding them, usually tucked in his jacket or book bag, never letting their little paws touch the snow

remus is often in the dorms reading, studying, or spending time away from large crowds and almost always ends up scoring the most kitten y/n snuggles

he’ll have a book in one hand and the other covering y/n like a big blanket, giving their nose scratches every once in a while

all three of them have gotten better at making sure they know where y/n … especially kitten y/n … is at all times. after loosing them and having to lie their butts off when they got “caught” having a cat they’ve learned to keep y/n close by all the time

y/n on the other hand learned that under james’ wardrobe there’s a hot spot for some reason. they curled up there one night and sent all three boys into a frenzy, only coming out when a treat bag was shaken

in total the boys have lost 13 socks, all from different pairs, 6 cat toys, and james swears kitten y/n stole his favourite toque … when they finally move from the dorm they’ll find y/n’s stash, that somehow quadrupled over the year, in between remus’ bed and chest. james’ hat is nowhere to be found (he thinks big human y/n must have stolen it … he’s right)

eventually remus caves one day when y/n won’t stop meowing and let’s his other friends see and play with y/n because his boys are out and he needed to study for an important test

#marauders x reader #marauders x little!reader #marauders #james x little reader #james potter x little!reader #remus lupin x little!reader #remus x little reader #sirius black x little!reader #sirius x little!reader #these aren’t my best work #but i’m just having fun!#i really hope you enjoy!

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donniesbabygirl28 · 2 years ago

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Rusty-James x Sunshine! Fem! Reader

Summary: The difference between the bully of the streets and his sunshine girlfriend.

So we all know Rusty-James is the big dog around where y'all live.

So it was a shock to everyone when you two got together.

There was NO way in hell that Rusty was gonna let Smokey get to you like he did with Patty.

People tried telling you that he was just gonna hurt you.

Never. Not in a million years.

Smokey has tried to lie to you about Rusty-James sleeping with a broad.

“Y/n i'm tellin you, you don't need him, he's sleepin with a girl down at the bar.”

You never believed it.

When Rusty found out about it, he kicked his ass.

You hate seeing him upset when his brother leaves.

He may not say it.

But you can see how upset he is when Motorcycle Boy leaves.

He loves holding you close.

LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES when you show him stuff that you are excited about.

Like one time, you were at the beach and saw a jellyfish.

When I say you RAN to him, and dragged him to the water.

“Rusty! Come look! It's a jellyfish!”

Or anytime you see a pretty girl.

“Oh Rusty she’s so pretty- hold up i have to go tell her!’

“Hey you’re really pretty!” You said, looking at her as she smiled and thanked you.

He loves how kind you are.

And speaking of “Pretty girl”

He calls you that ALL THE TIME.

AND WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY NEXT IS CANON IN MY MIND AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!

So when he first met you, he was playing pool and his drink was on the bar.

And it's kinda hard to play pool in public because people will steal your spot.

So he didn’t want to move and have his place stolen.

And he didn’t know your name and he wanted to ask you to hand him his drink.

So what ended up coming out was “Hey, uh pretty girl can you hand me that drink right there?”

He was lowkey embarrassed.

Because he didn’t mean to.

But he didn’t know your name.

“Pretty girl?” Steve questioned him

Rusty-James never told someone to shut up so fast in his life.

God he’s just- oml.

#dallas winston headcanons #dallas winston x reader #sodapop headcanons #johnny cade headcanons #johnny cade x reader #sodapop x reader #ponyboy curtis #ponyboy headcanons #ponyboy x reader #johnny cade #Rusty-James #Rumble Fish #rusty james #Rusty James x FEM reader #Rusty James x reader fanfic #headcanons

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instant-delusions · 1 year ago

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cold is the sea

꧁༺ ༻꧂

kaedahara kazuha x afab! reader

au: canon

artist [picture : inqueueu]

cw: mentions of blood, cursing, alcohol (arr pirate life), accidentally wounding oneself, mentions of death (no angst tho), semi public off-jerking 😟

a pirate life smells of old rum, gunpowder and salty seas, although you mostly noticed the reek of metal (either rusty coins or blood) and your sweaty crew, which was definitely everything but life-fulfilling. not even the adventures filled with pretty scenery could soothen the ache of homesickness - naturally, you're thankful for captain beidou's generosity, without her, you wouldn't be able to live a somewhat stable life, paying off the consequences of a shopping addiction in your teens years.

lately, you noticed a new recruit by your captain's side, a member you've never seen before. a quiet, introverted man, who wore dark red clothes decorated with maple leaves, carrying an isshin sword of highest quality - apparently he's from inazuma, possibly a samurai, well, a former one nonetheless...

glancing up, you studied the man standing next to beidou, noticing his pale skin and small frame. people normally sort of shrink next to her, given her dominating aura and confidence, though he seems to be not a tad bit intimidated. there was something about him, in the way he emits peacefulness and ease, almost like a breeze in mid-autumn. 'he's sort of...beautiful', you thought, eyes glued on his sunset-kissed face, the wind of the sea playing with his silver bangs. oh! you definently weren't paying attention to the task at hand, which was scrubbing the deck, way too inticed by the new member of your crew. bashfully you wondered if he'd ask for your name sometime, continuing to scratch an old blood stain of a fight.

not once in the months you've been aboard the crux were you ever excited being assigned kitchen duty - until today. well, that's not completely true, the job itself is exhausting, yes, but it's the only one with time for oneself. working under deck, you could only hear the muffled conversations of your fellow members, while falling into a meditational rhythm chopping vegetables. humming a catchy shanty to yourself, you barely heard the stairs creak, convinced one of the members merely wanted to bag a snack.

"pardon me, (y/n), right? I'm kaedahara kazuha, beidou told me to help you with kitchen duty."

his voice flowed over you like a breeze, mellow tone brushing over your sides soothingly. turning around, you locked eyes with your not-so-little two day crush - he was leaning his head sideways with a little smile...there it was again, that feeling of a silent mid autumn day, breeze flowing through orange leaves and rain splattering against a window - peace and quiet. noticing your trance-like state, his amber eyes closed with a little chuckle. "oh! I'm so sorry, yes-" you bumped against the wooden counter while reaching for utensils to give the samurai, nervously stuttering a couple of directions. quickly, he grabbed your waist to steady you, "woah, careful there." kazuha chuckled as he watched your face turn red, "we don't want any accidents." holy shit, the rasp in his voice from smoking? the closeness of your bodies? - you could've gone up in flames that instant, although you thanked him bashfully instead, keeping your gaze low instead of making eye contact.

kazuha couldn't believe he won this gamble, usually fate likes to fuck around with him, but not today! he's been praying for an excuse to talk to you for ages; beidou always said incredibly nice things about her favorite member of the crux, plus, he loved watching your expression change to annoyance everytime a crewmember pulled something funny. last time that happened, you rock-scissor-papered somebody for kitchen duty - kazuha sipped on spicy rum and giggled while looking for an opening to finally speak to you - unfortunately, that didn't happen. there was a feeling of home about you, something he's been craving for years now.

eyes softening, the anemo user tapped to crown of your head slightly. "is something wrong?" he asked, "are you uncomfortable?". quickly, you looked up to him, seeing his eyebrows scrunched in worry - even with this expression, he's as beautiful as ever... jumping out of your little daydream, you blew raspberries and nervously crossed your arms. "nope! not at all-" you gave him a shy 'haha' and sighed. "let's start cooking!"

kazuha felt the way you were holding back during small talk, as if you were scared of his judgement of your person. obviously, he noticed your attraction towards him during your time together - your cute blushing face, the stutters, your voice pitching an octave higher - kazuha couldn't be more thankful and excited, nonetheless he cares for your comfort and wouldn't like to make you anxious. "shit!" you exclaimed loudly, shocking him out of his thought process - blood drops were starting to appear on your palm before the burning onion juice pain set in, making you curse profanities so creative kazuha's poet soul felt impressed hearing them. "holy shit, (y/n)! are you okay?" he asked, taking your bleeding hand in his to examine the wound. you felt the wound sting dully, but were much more captivated by the sight of his pale fingers tracing yours to calm you down. feeling your heartbeat quicken, you stayed silent. "are you okay?" the anemo user repeated himself, making your shake your head in embarrassment. "uh...yes! thank you." he cocked his head in confusion, "for what?" 'yeah, for what? holding my hand? come on, (y/n), you're going crazy.'

this was the first time kazuha thanked raiden shogun, for she is the reason he always carries bandages with him. "this is so embarrassing...I wanted to look cool for you" cringe settled in immediately and your body shrunk into itself, gaze dropping onto kazuha's warm hand on your knee. said man burst out laughing after what you said, you felt his body shake with amusement and grinned lopsidedly. "I think you're cool. may I ask why you care about my perception of you so much?", his tone was obviously laced with tease, the first time he dared a step into flirting. 'shit, he noticed...' , you thought, pressing your lips into a thin line. here goes nothing.

a pirate life is short. coming from a fairly normal household, with fairly normal struggles and achievements, you couldn't believe the amount of reports of crewmembers who passed during your stay. at first it was so shocking you cried deep into the night, no matter how close you were with the person. now, your heart goes out to them, their family, but you also mourn for your own life, which you fear might not be a long one - with wrinkles and wisdom.

"I sorta have a crush on you."

a few seconds passed, though they felt like eternity. you couldn't read kazuha's expression at all! maybe it'd be better if archon morax just squished you under a rock right now, or maybe you should start dealing with the feeling of shame that'll surely hit later. oh god, you were totally zoning out - looking back at him, you almost gasped. he was still kneeling in front of you, with a big smile on his face. you couldn't recall him ever looking this happy, glowing as if he walked straight out of celestia to bless you with this expression. "I sorta have a crush on you, too."

potatoes were boiling in water in the back of crux' kitchen, but it definitely couldn't compare to the warmth you felt right now. your mind already started to blur, high off the feeling of having kazuha in your arms, was it him who started this make-out session, or you? opening your mouth, you let his tongue slide in, lips pressing against each other feverishly. red fabric was scrunched between your fingers as you tried to pull the former samurai impossibly closer, hearing the wood behind you creak, though you couldn't care less about anyone hearing or seeing this. kazuha panted against your lips, cooling the string of saliva attached to your tongues. slowly, you dropped your head on his shoulder, pressing lazy kisses along his throat, while he started undoing your pants. "'m sorry, I swear next time I'll eat you out. prepare you real good" he kissed what cleavage your blouse was showing, making you squirm in his hold "I can't wait right now, though, can I...?". peering between your bodies, you saw the outprint of his dick pressing against his maroon shorts, twitching from excitement. you let your hand fall down from his hair straight to his cock and trailed your fingers along it, feeling its warmth. wondering how far his kindness really goes, you caught him of guard by wrapping your hand around him, pressing your fist tight. kazuha choked out a surprised gasp, pressing his fingers deeply into your waist in an attempt to ground himself. funny, you were barely touching him, jerking him off slowly through his clothes, but you could feel the way his hips stuttered and his cock jumped, how his heartbeat quickened and his breath became shallow. "h-hold on, (y/n). or I'll-", he watched as a smirk grew on your face and made a mental note to get you back for this. teasingly, you started licking long stripes across his collarbones, sucking here and there.

"is the food fucking ready? I'm starving!"

screeching, you pushed yourself off of a blushing, orgasm-denied kazuha, looking back at the totally overcooked potatoes.

"one second!"

a/n: I'm the nr.1 genshin hater

#Spotify #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #genshin impact smut #genshin #kazuha kaedehara #kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader smut #genshin impact kazuha #genshin impact kazuha x reader #genshin impact oneshot #genshin x you #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact oneshots

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demxters · 3 years ago

Text

𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒

college!bucky barnes x reader

summary: bucky asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend but after what you thought was sweeter than a dream has you facing a harsher reality.

wc: 5.9k

warning(s): swearing

part two!

a/n: happy new year to you all! here’s a little gift to kick off the new year. also depending on how well this does, i might do a part two and even expand on this lil universe so please let me know what you think! (also this is my first time writing a full fic in months so excuse any typos or rusty writing)

The knocking wouldn’t stop. With a groan, you blindly smash at your keyboard, tearing yourself away from One Tree Hill, North Carolina, and bringing Nathan and Haley’s heated argument to a pause before you drag yourself out of bed and rip open the door.

“Y/N!”

“Steve?” you let out in surprise at the sight of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes standing in your doorway. “If you’re looking for Nat, she’s not here right now.”

“Why would we be looking for Nat? This is your place too.” He gives you a charming smile as he leans against your doorframe.

Rolling your eyes, you step aside to let the two men in. “Yeah whatever, get in here you goof.”

Steve places a dramatic kiss onto your cheek, making you laugh and you playfully push him away as Bucky steps inside. Bucky sends you a shy smile and rubs the back of his neck– a nervous habit of his that you’ve picked up on over the years. “Hey, Y/N.”

The softness of his voice and the kindness of his deep blue eyes make your lips pull up involuntarily. Bucky’s presence always felt like a breath of fresh air. “James,” you reply, giddy. As he passes by, you catch a whiff of his cologne and almost buckle at the knees. It was earthy with a tinge of a spice that was something completely and utterly Bucky. Closing the door, you turn around to meet the two men who have made themselves at home on your couch. “Well, boys, to what do I owe you the pleasure of your visit this morning?”

“Can’t we just visit our good ol’ friend Y/N?” Steve bats his eyelashes at you.

Placing yourself on the loveseat with your legs pulled up to your chest, you sigh.

“Ok, fine. We need to ask you a huge favor. Actually, Bucky needs to ask you a huge favor, I’m only here for moral support.”

Shaking your head in amusement, you focus your attention on Bucky. “What’d you need, Buck?”

He hesitates, avoiding eye contact with you. “Promise not to laugh, alright?” Bucky looks up at you quickly catching your encouraging nod and persuasive gaze. “I need you to be my girlfriend for my mom’s birthday celebration this weekend.”

“What?” You must have heard him wrong. There’s no way that he asked you what you thought he did… right?

“Never mind, it was stupid.” Bucky abruptly stands, running a hand through his already unruly hair. “I told you this was stupid, Steve.”

Steve opens his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “Hey, wait, it’s not stupid Bucky. You caught me off guard is all.” You pause, thinking over his question much more but when you see his defeated demeanor, you immediately know your reply.

Meeting your eye, he settles himself back on the couch and rubs his balmy palms onto his jeans. “I’m sorry, it’s- well, it’s partially my fault.” Steve narrows his eyes at his friend. “Ok fine. It’s completely my fault. I told my mom I’ve been seeing someone for a while now because she would not stop raving about my perfect cousin’s girlfriend and how proud of him she was that he found someone like her. It finally made me snap. The lie came tumbling out and now she wants to meet my nonexistent girlfriend this weekend for her birthday. So I could either own up to it and make a fool of myself in front of my whole family or-”

“Find yourself a girlfriend in three days,” you finish for him.

“Exactly. I said I would own up to it but Steve here on the other hand thought I should ask someone.” He looks down sheepishly, avoiding your gaze once more.

“So you chose to ask me?” You question, bewildered. They could’ve chosen anyone; Bucky could’ve chosen anyone. You were positive that he wouldn’t even have to ask it as a favor. He wasn’t a playboy like Steve, but he was still as desirable to the female population of Boston University. That you knew for sure. Girls were throwing themselves at Bucky’s feet because of his good looks and natural charm. Despite his slightly closed off and shy persona, people found him intriguing and they were eager to break through his delicate shell to know all about the man that was Bucky Barnes. He could have asked anyone and they would agree in a heartbeat. Yet, he decided to come to you for help. The only question filtering through your head was Why? You must have voiced your thoughts out loud because Steve was answering you with enthused vigor.

“I was thinking about this long and hard when I realized, you’re the type of gal I’d take home to meet my ma,” he answers proudly.

You raise an eyebrow at him, nudging Steve to elaborate.

“Look, you’re kind, respectful, and incredibly good looking,” he pauses and sends you a wink that makes you scoff. “Not to mention that you already know everything about one another because of how close you two are. Just throw in some lovey-dovey pet names and overly irritating PDA and boom, you could easily pass as his girlfriend.”

Your mouth falls open in retaliation, but Steve was right. It was no secret that you were the closest to Bucky out of everyone in your ragtag group of friends. Since the beginning, Bucky had a pull on you unlike anyone else you’ve ever met.

The silence was deafening as Steve and Bucky waited on your response, causing the latter to speak up. “Y/N, you don’t have to-”

“I’ll do it,” you interrupt.

Bucky’s eyes go wide and Steve smiles smugly as if he knew this would happen all along.

“It’s ok, I’ll do it.” You reassure him with a small smile.

He goes from disbelief to glee as he stands up and gathers you in his arms, pulling surprised laughter from your lips. “Thank you,” he chants over and over again. Pressing his lips to the crown of your head he mutters, “I owe you big time. Just say the word and I’ll be there.”

“I’m holding you to that, Barnes,” you mumble against his chest. In his embrace, you pray that he can’t feel the way your heart is hammering in your chest. He has had you in this position plenty of times before but only recently have you realized how different being around him has felt. Not in a bad way, it was anything but. Bucky made you feel warm. He made you feel safe. He made your heart beat a little faster and your palms sweat a little more. He made the rest of the world and all your other worries fade away. Bucky made you feel comfortable. He made you feel whole and it scared you shitless.

_____

You could see the small puffs of smoke from every staggered breath that left your lips as you impatiently stood on the sidewalk with your small suitcase in hand. Only this morning did it hit you right on the head how insane you are for agreeing to pretend to be your best friend’s girlfriend. You spent all morning pacing back and forth in your room as you frantically packed the last of your things while Natasha chastised you about the stupidity of your decision. Replaying her criticisms in your mind as you waited didn’t help with the lump that was threatening to crawl up your throat. The tip of your boot shifted against the snow ever so slightly, practically begging you to run back up to your room, claiming you’ve caught the flu and can’t make it this weekend. The rational side of your brain, however, keeps your other foot glued to the concrete and unable to move. You can’t bail on Bucky. You know deep down that if you asked him to do this for you he’d agree in a heartbeat. With shaky hands, you check the time on your phone to see that Bucky was running ten minutes late. You throw your head back with a groan, cursing the universe for prolonging your anticipation.

Another five minutes of uneven breaths, tapping toes, and jittery hands pass before he’s finally pulling up in Steve’s old blue Volkswagen. If this were any other day you would have giggled at the sight of a man like Bucky Barnes sitting cramped up in the driver’s seat of a vintage blue buggy. But you found no humor in the situation as the adorable blue vehicle would eventually bring you to your demise.

The car door opens with a creak, revealing a disheveled and flustered Bucky as he flies out of the driver's seat. His coat is buttoned all wrong and his scarf is unevenly wrapped around his neck as he makes his way towards you with pink cheeks and a rosy nose. He almost slips as he bends down to grab your suitcase but swiftly recovers as he pops open the trunk. “I’m so sorry I’m late. Steve didn’t come back from some girl’s place until literally an hour ago and Sam’s out of town so I couldn’t use his car. But the drive should only be four and a half hours at most depending on the traffic in the city so I’m confident we could make it in time for dinner with minimal snack and bathroom breaks because I know how you get sometimes with your road trip cravings. Oh, and I brought a mix of some of your favorite CDs for the road-” He slams the trunk with a crooked smile before noticing that you haven’t moved an inch nor reacted to anything he said. “Hey, are you ok?” Bucky asks you softly as he makes his way towards you. Noticing the way your brows are pulled together and the creases upon your forehead he knows you must be in a deep state of thought. “If this is too much for you, I’ll understand if you back out now.”

His words knock you out of your trance state and you harshly gulp, releasing all of your pent up worries from the night before. “No, no I’m not backing out, Buck. I’m just-I’m scared. What if they don’t like me? Or they know that we’re lying and kick me out? Or, oh, or what if they expect me over for Christmas? We can’t just fake date forever.”

Bucky nods, acknowledging your worries. He isn’t surprised that those thoughts were racing through your head; those same ones kept him up all night as well, especially that last one. He knew the two of you couldn’t fake date forever. Even if you guys could pull it off, it would physically create a tear in his heart to have you in the way he always wanted but never be able to really call you his. This plan was risque enough as it is, trying to make this work without his feelings getting in the way. But Steve was confident that pretending that you were already his girlfriend would make it easier for him to confess how he felt at the weekend’s end. Harboring his crush on you since the first year of college was harrowing enough and this situation presented itself as the perfect moment for him to finally act on it after three years of waiting. Bucky takes it upon himself to hold it together for the two of you as he gently grasps your shoulders. Rubbing his gloved hands gently up and down the length of your arms, he feels your taut muscles finally begin to relax as he says, “We’ve got four and a half hours to figure that out, sweetheart. C’mon let’s get in the car and we could work it out later, ok?”

The new nickname has a trembling sigh leaving your lips at his touch and you begrudgingly nod, stepping into the car.

Bucky settles into the driver's seat and sends you a pleased smile as he taps the glove compartment proudly. “I promised you a full road trip mix, so have at it.”

A timid grin graces your lips at his thoughtfulness that sends a shiver up your spine and a flutter in your stomach. You open the glove compartment and take out the plethora of classic CDs he has stored, skimming through them in excitement, your previous discomfort fading away with each disc you come across. Popping Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours into the stereo, the first notes of “Second Hand News” has you sinking into the leather seat with a newfound calmness.

The first two hours of the trip were a breeze. Singing at the top of your lungs and light hearted conversations filtered between you two as Bucky drove down the interstate. The scenery had you in a state of awe as you frantically took pictures of everything you passed, eager to show them to Wanda once you returned.

Once it hit the three hour mark and you started to recognize the New York landscape, your nerves began creeping up on you. The bouncing of your leg resumed as you picked at the skin of your lips. You were itching to ask Bucky how he wanted you to act around his family. If he could give you a quick rundown of what his parents found likable in his cousin’s girlfriend you could somehow replicate it subtly to make sure they like you as much as possible. Maybe he could give you just a little something to calm your nerves for the remainder of the ride. “Hey, Buck?”

He hums in response, not taking his gaze off the road as he taps his thumb against the steering wheel to the melody of Killer Queen.

“Do you think we could work it out now?” You cringe at how desperate you sound.

Bucky quickly shoots you a concerned look at your words. “Yeah, go for it.”

You nod, taking a sip of water from the bottle in your lap at the feeling of dryness at the back of your throat. “I just think we should set some ground rules.”

“Ground rules?”

“Uh, like the do’s and don’ts of our fake relationship.” You don’t see that your emphasis on the word ‘fake’ makes Bucky’s cheek twitch.

“Right.” He pauses for a moment to regain his composure. “Well, I was thinking we could just wing it.”

“Wing it…”

“Yeah. If you really want to lay down some ground rules then we definitely can, but I thought we’d just go for it. Like Steve said, y’know? Throw in some PDA and pet names. All that good stuff.” You’re hesitant to agree to his plan. He could tell by the way you shifted towards the window and won’t meet his gaze.

“I guess that could work. Oh, but what about our backstory? How’d we meet? When did we start dating? What’s the meat of our relationship?”

Bucky attempts to stifle a laugh and you crinkle your nose, registering what you said.

“Let me rephrase that.” Smacking him lightly on the shoulder you giggle, “What are the main parts of our relationship?”

“Well, how we met is an easy one. Through our mutual friends Steve and Natasha. Next question.”

“Ok, how did you ask me out?”

“It was a spur of the moment thing. I’m not a believer in all those elegantly planned out ways to ask someone out. So I asked when I felt the moment was right. It was during our weekly movie night while we were watching “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy and you were sprawled on the couch with your legs plopped right on my lap when I knew I wanted to do this forever. That I wanted you to be my girl.” Bucky shrugs nonchalantly as he answers. He didn’t need to think long and hard about it because it was true. He did want to ask you out that night. He wanted to so badly. But his words got caught in his throat when you looked at him all adorably doe eyed and asked him to turn up the heater.

Your lips part at the sweetness of his words as a scalding heat crawls up your neck to your cheeks. “Nice one,” you barely squeak out. “Hmm… how long have we been together?”

“Six months, obviously,” he cheekily grins.

“Obviously,” you shake your head with a playful roll of your eyes. “What about your parents? What should I do? How should I act?”

“Don’t worry about that, darling. Trust me, they’ll love you just the way you are.”

“Oh, you’re really playing into this whole couple thing, huh?” You question as you try to shield your enamored state. “Save it for your family, lover boy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky mumbles with an affectionate smile overcoming his features.

The remainder of the ride is mostly silent between the two of you, bar the small comments you make about the scenery or Bucky’s deep timbre as he hums along to the songs on the stereo. When the two of you finally pull up to his childhood home, Bucky has to practically drag you out of the car to get to the front door. Your anxiety caused your body to go stiff and unable to move. Bucky had to drape his arm around your shoulders and pull you into his warmth to get you to come to.

Meeting the Barnes’ went smoother than you possibly could’ve expected. You thought a heavy awkwardness would hang in the air as you entered their home but the second you passed through the doorway, Winnifred Barnes was gathering you into her arms like one of her own. She rocks you back and forth holding you close enough that you could smell her rose scented perfume. His father, George, gives you an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder before offering to take your bag upstairs. Mrs. Barnes and Bucky’s younger sister Rebecca shower you in attention, overwhelming you just a bit as they hurry you over to the couch to sit down. All the while, you glance at Bucky with wide eyes as you try to answer all of his family’s questions.

Bucky shakes his head in amusement as he takes in the sight of you being smothered by his family. He felt slightly bad for you as you looked his way but he couldn’t help the small part of him that enjoyed seeing you surrounded by his family. Something inside of him shifted then, causing him to pry you away from his mother and sister.

“Alright, alright, we’ve had a long ride here so if you don’t mind I’d like to take my girlfriend upstairs to rest please, and thank you.” Bucky pointedly looks at his family. Excusing yourselves from the living room, he leads you by the hand up the stairs and to the bedroom at the end of the hall.

Walking in behind him, you look around the blue painted room in awe. There’s a bookshelf full of classics from “The Hobbit” to Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird.”

“Now I understand why you’re an english major,” you lightly joke.

Bucky only shakes his head in amusement.

An old fashioned phonogram sits in the corner of the room while a box of records sits underneath. The bed that is covered in checkered black and blueprint is surrounded by New York Mets memorabilia at the head. However, it’s the picture frame on the nightstand that captures most of your attention. Kneeling, you gingerly grab the faded frame and brush away the dust that has accumulated on the glass. A gentle smile graces your lips as you look from the frame to the others on the wall. In some of them you find a familiar blond despite his scrawny appearance. But all of them held one thing in common: a dark haired, bright eyed boy with a big smile and thick specs. “James, I didn’t know you wore glasses,” you breathe as you turn to Bucky.

His gaze darts down to the floor as he smiles bashfully at you. He runs a hand through his hair making the light pink dust on his cheeks more noticeable. “Yeah, I used to wear them as a kid,” he tells you. “Now I prefer using contacts.”

“Oh. Well, I like the glasses. They made you look so cute.”

Your comment is spoken so softly Bucky would’ve thought he imagined what you said if it weren’t for the fond look on your face. He observes the way your eyes flit back and forth across the room and bobs his head as if permitting you to roam about the space.

A hint of a smile finds your face as you go around the room absorbing every little detail that lands in your sight. You thought you knew everything about your best friend, but being here in such an intimate setting– meeting his family, staying in his childhood home– made you want to know everything and more.

Bucky’s sudden silence has you worried that you’ve crossed a line that you weren’t supposed to. “You alright?” You ask him, slightly alarmed.

A shaky breath leaves his lips at the sound of your voice. It takes him a moment to recompose himself but when he does, he’s back to his lighthearted self; diminishing any tension that has gathered in your moment of silence. “Oh, I’m fine. Fourteen year old James, however, can’t believe that there’s a pretty girl other than his mom in his room.”

You snicker, shifting uneasily on the balls of your feet to steady your racing heart. “Careful now Barnes, if you keep that up you might run out of compliments before the end of the weekend,” you mockingly tsk.

“For you, doll? I could never,” he swiftly responds with no doubt in his mind.

Your mouth falls open, leaving you standing there looking like a fish out of water, unable to think of a comeback for his all too sugary sweet words.

Bucky laughs fondly at your astounded expression and takes your hand back in his, almost as if it were second nature, tugging you out of the room. “Let me give you the rest of the house tour so we’re not late for dinner, yeah?”

Dinner went just as smoothly as when you met his parents. The more time you spent with the Barnes’, it occurred to you that everything about them felt natural. From the way they talked amongst themselves as if it were a normal family dinner to the way they made sure you never ran out of food or water, you found yourself loosening up. You contributed to the conversation and joke around a bit with Bucky’s sister. You helped Winnifred clean up– despite her constant protests. You even told them the countless stories you had of Bucky as they exchanged some of their own.

Once the dinner was over, the five of you migrated to the living room where you sat comfortably nestled against Bucky’s side as his mother showed you his childhood photo albums. The feeling of his arm thrown around your shoulder as his thumb gently rubs against your skin goes unnoticed as you sink into the familiarity of his touch, settling into the crook of his neck rightfully so.

You don’t remember when you fell asleep nor how you got upstairs when you woke up in Bucky’s old bedroom. Stretching your arms over your head and carefully peeling away the blankets settled on your skin, you scan your surroundings. Your eyes land upon a makeshift bed at your feet that was clearly used the night before. You frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you fell asleep and left Bucky to spend the night on the hardwood floor.

You quickly prepare for the day before heading downstairs when the smell of a freshly homemade breakfast overwhelms your senses.

“There ya are, Sleeping Beauty.” Bucky brightly grins at you from the stove with his arms wide open as he beckons you to come closer.

You plant your gaze at your feet, shuffling towards him as that flutter you’ve come to know all too well blooms once again in your stomach.

When you’re close enough, Bucky wraps you up in his arms and peppers a soft kiss to your temple. “Morning, sunshine.”

A groggy, “good morning,” escapes your lips as your eyes attempt to slip shut in his warm hold.

“Where’s the rest of your family, Buck?” you ask once you realize just how quiet the dining room is compared to the night before.

“They’re out in the backyard preparing for mom’s birthday barbeque.”

Your head abruptly shoots up, almost hitting his stubbled chin. “What’re you still doing in here then?”

He chuckles, plating the last of the blueberry pancakes that are on the stove, and leads you to the dining table. “I made you some breakfast. I had some done earlier, but you woke up so late that my dad ate it all before you could get up,” he huffs.

You wince embarrassedly, looking at the clock that read 10:30. “Sorry… but hey, in my defense you know I’m not a morning person.”

“Boy, do I know it. That’s why I let you sleep in.”

“You’re an angel, James Barnes.” You smile gratefully at him as he serves you a plate of eggs and blueberry pancakes. Your favorite. Shoveling the food into your mouth you moan at the delicious taste on your tongue. You already know that Bucky’s a great cook, yet his food never fails to surprise you. Taking a quick sip of orange to wash down your meal, you put down your utensils, pausing in your delectable meal to rest your stomach. “So, boyfriend, what’s our game plan for this barbeque?”

Without a second thought, he replies, “Make small talk and stay right by my side. It’s simple, but it’ll get us through the night.”

“Alright, I could do that.”

“Cool.”

———

It’s amazing how a few hours could completely change your entire world. After rounds of meeting Bucky’s relatives and close family friends, the feeling of his hand on the small of your back and his lips pressed against your cheek felt like second nature. Within a few hours, you’ve completely molded yourself into Bucky Barnes’s girlfriend. The strange thing was that you didn’t mind. If anything, you wanted it. You craved the nicknames and his touch, his attention.

The two of you have gathered with his cousins now, after telling them a little bit about yourself, listening to even more stories of the Barnes’ childhood. The group erupts into boisterous laughter at one of the stories of Bucky’s younger cousin, Justin, as he explains how he made a fool of himself when asking out his girlfriend Stephanie.

“I’m telling ya, I almost hurled right there on the linoleum floor!” he bursts out. When the laughter from the group finally dies down, he speaks up again. “But seriously, Buck, how did you manage to ask Y/N out without losing your guts?”

From where you sit beside him, Bucky tightens his hold on your hand that’s in his ever so slightly. He flashes you a confident smile as he replies, never taking his eyes off of you. “Y/N just made it so easy. Being with her, being in love with her is easy. I had no problem asking her out at all. Not when I knew we were meant to be together.”

Stephanie cooes from beside Justin with a hand over her heart. “Oh my god, that’s so romantic!”

You grimace as everyone gushes over you and Bucky’s relationship; the attention becoming all too much makes you stand abruptly, startling Bucky enough to release from your hold. “I-I need to use the restroom.”

You bolt away from the group so fast that Bucky barely has time to chase after you, a look of worry and longing etched onto his face. Was it something he said?

Fumbling with the lock on the bathroom door, you mumble out a set of curses as you think of Bucky’s words again.

Being in love with her is easy.

In love. He said he was in love with you. Those words broke you from the spell of playing his unassuming girlfriend and made you realize you’re in too deep. You knew the relationship was fake. You knew that coming into this. Then why did it hurt so bad?

Your nose starts to burn as you pull out your phone from your pocket frantically thumbing through your contacts. You hold your phone up to your ear–the ringing on the other end feeling like it has been going on for eternity. Finally, the ringing stops, and you're met with the voice you’ve been dying to hear on the other line.

“Hello?”

“Tasha…” you whisper, choking back a sob.

“Oh, honey, is everything alright? Aren’t you still at Bucky’s?” she asks you tensely.

You nod, forgetting she can’t see you from the other side. “You were right. I was stupid to think I could last the whole weekend like this.”

The sound of a sigh passes through the phone. “What happened?”

“It hurts, Nat. It hurts so bad,” you wail into the speaker, no longer carrying that the tears have fallen from your lash line. “It hurts to have him this way knowing he’ll never truly be mine.” Another cry falls from your lips.

“Y/N, I thought you were going to tell him how you feel.”

“I want to. I really do, but I can’t. I can’t lose him. I’d rather have him like this than not at all,” you confess.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“When we were talking with his cousins he said… he said he was in love with me.”

“That’s a good thing!” she exclaims, her voice full of hope. “Right?”

“No, no it’s not because he said it so easily Nat! The way someone could even say something like that so easily without meaning it– it’d have to be fake. And his family? God, I love his family. They’re just so kind and loving and everything I wish I had. It’s not fair to them. It’s not fair that I wormed my way into their perfect family and it’s not fair for me to want it because they were never mine to begin with! I got too attached and now I have to pay the price.”

“Why? Why do you always do this to yourself, Y/N? Why do you have to throw away all of the good you have? You have a good man that you have a good relationship with right in front of you and you’re throwing it all away. I may not know James as well as you do but I know for a fact that the reason why it slipped from him so easily is that it’s true.” She pauses, taking a breath. “That man looks at you like you’re his entire world. You’re just too blind to see it.”

“Natasha-”

“I know that it’s hard to open up your heart again to someone, especially after what happened with…” She decides not to bring up his name. “But Bucky’s not him and you know that. He would never just throw your love away.”

“You don’t know that,” you hiss, starting to get irritated that Natasha isn’t taking your side. “You don’t know that.

“I know I don’t.” Hearing the sniffles coming from your end of the line, she softens. “You’re strong. Probably one of the strongest people I know. And you’re absolutely incredible. Take a deep breath, Y/N. Wipe those tears, pull yourself together, and go out there and be the best fake girlfriend you could be, ok? This weekend will be over before you know it and you’ll be back in the dorm. When you get back, why don’t we invite Wanda over for a girl’s night? You’ve spent enough time around boys.”

You softly exhale, taking in her words and calming your speeding heart rate. “Yeah, yeah ok Nat. I’m sorry for spiraling on you-”

“It’s ok. I get it. Now go back to that party. Bucky’s probably wondering where you went.”

You exchange your goodbyes before making your way back out. As you walk, you take Nat’s advice, breathing deeply in and out, trying not to think about what has been said.

Bucky’s still with his cousins when you get back though he looks tense. His hands are wrung together on his lap and his shoulders are hunched over. Once he catches sight of you weaving your way through the backyard, his tense demeanor dissipates and his blue eyes brighten. He gets up, dismissing himself from the group, and jogs over to you.

“Is everything alright?” He asks you. His eyes scan over your form as he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close.

You swallow harshly and forcefully smile as you meet his gaze. “Everything’s fine. Just a little stomach ache is all.” Liar.

Bucky frowns, detecting the sincerity in your voice. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“James,” you sighed exasperatedly.

“Ok, ok. I’m just making sure.” Pulling you close, he presses his lips to your forehead. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?” he mumbles against the skin.

You nod against the fabric of his tee-shirt; your stomach feeling heavy at his actions. “Of course.”

You should’ve known that Bucky knew you better. You should’ve known he could see through your lies.

_____

The rest of the weekend is spent in silence between the two of you. You were doing everything you could to not make it obvious that you were avoiding him by spending time with his mother and sister claiming, It’s a good way for you to get to know them.

Bucky was always not too far behind, watching from a distance as you talked and laughed with his family. His heart grew warm at the sight. Especially after seeing how well you fit in with his family, Bucky realized that you looked right where you belonged. Nonetheless, he noticed the coldness you gave him after you ran off to the bathroom that night. All he wanted to do was grab you by the shoulders and beg you to tell him why. Yet you never opened up to him, no matter how hard he tried.

The sudden shift between normalcy and pure ignorance hurt him. You’d act perfectly fine when you were around his family but pull away the instant they were gone and it was killing him.

It was finally when the two of you got home that he confronted you about it.

“Hey,” he says softly as he pulls up to the dorms. “What happened this weekend? We were good and then-”

“Stop, Bucky,” you interrupt as those tears threaten to fall once more. “I’m sorry. I know. We were good, great even. It’s my fault for getting attached.”

“Y/N-”

Throwing the car door open, you hastily grab your suitcase from the trunk and speed over to the dorm doors.

“Y/N, hang on a second,” Bucky calls out, desperately trying to reach you but you’re already at the door.

“Thank you, for this weekend, for everything. But I’m sorry.” Sending him one last sorrowful look, you slam the door to the dorms and hurry away.

All the while Bucky stands there with his heart in his hands and sadness in his eyes. He was supposed to tell you the truth. He was supposed to finally make you his. Maybe you were trying to tell him all this time that you just didn’t feel that way about him. But he was too caught up in a daydream as he pretended you were his. Bucky knew everything about this weekend felt too good to be true. He should’ve known it was all just sweet reverie.

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