#running to the warm embrace of my oldies stations

[spursthatjinglejanglejingle]

I don't consider myself a hater because i am a lover at heart, but i am an annoyeder. I get annoyed by things and that turns me into a hater at times.

[hunnie-luv]

Georgie

I used to be happy. Back when it was just me, mother, and father. The days seemed to stretch and shine a brilliant orangey-yellow in the front yard of our two-story home where father and I played catch and sang along to the oldies 103.7 station on Saturday mornings. He would always incorporate our names into the lyrics, always ending in painful belly laughs as our bodies sprawled out on the dewy grass. Mother would stand on the porch in one of her many floral dresses, holding two glasses of lemonade dripping in condensation. Her voice would sing out to us, sweetly beckoning us to come in for breakfast. I would run into her arms and inhale the citrusy scent of her shampoo as her arms enveloped me into a comforting embrace.

“Good morning my little bug, how do pancakes sound for breakfast?” Her blue eyes always sparkled, and her hands always fell to my cheeks before she planted a wet kiss on the middle of my forehead.

Weekends were my favorite, and they continued to be until I turned six. Mother changed, she stopped bringing us our Saturday morning lemonade, as she slept in till noon. Father began to clear the spare bedroom, instead of reading me my bedtime stories.

One morning, father and I sat at the kitchen table eating the eggs he had quickly whipped up. Looking at the empty seat across from me, I asked, “Where’s mommy?”

He looked down at me with a warm smile, “Don’t worry little bug, go wash up and I’ll take you to school.”

Many days passed like this, and I saw less and less of mother. When I did get to see her, her belly got bigger and bigger.

One night at bedtime, father and mother entered the room. Mother hobbled towards me before she sat herself on the right side of my superman sheets. Father stood behind her, hands placed on her shoulders.

“I have a special surprise for you little bug,” her eyes sparkled as her left hand reached up and held onto fathers.

I remember sitting up straight, bouncing as I couldn’t contain my excitement.

“You’re going to be a big brother!”

I remember the dread, the confusion, the heartbreak. My smile faltered.

A few months later, a little baby boy popped out. The once heavenly bright home was clouded by this stranger. I sat on the grass every Saturday, picking apart the individual pieces until the three of them woke up past noon. Homecooked breakfasts had turned into packets of microwaved oatmeal and Great Value cereals. Bedtime was lonely and restless, his cries penetrating the walls.

When I saw mother, her blue eyes kind of fell dim. Her floral dresses were exchanged for sweatpants and an old tank top that was covered in stains and baby barf.

Two years passed and everything changed. Mother chased after her new little bug, father had giggle fits in the morning dewy grass with his new best friend. I stayed inside and watched. His toys littered the floors, marker sketches trailed the walls, and I just watched.

One morning, mother stood behind the stove flipping fluffy pancakes and humming an unfamiliar tune. Her floral dresses had made a reappearance not long ago, and things seemed normal. Fresh strawberries laid on a cutting board, its tops sliced and shoved to the side along with other pancake topping necessities. The house was quiet as Georgie slept in later than usual. Father walked into the kitchen and ruffled my hair. It felt like it did all those years ago, before he came along.

I couldn’t help the excitement from within, “Good morning!”

My voice came out louder than intended and bounced off the walls. Both mother and father startled as they shot me crazy eyes. A cry in the distance made our three heads turn towards the stairs.

“Jesus Franklin, I’ve had it with these outbursts.” My mothers’ eyes scrunched and held a wildfire. “Poor Georgie. Go bring me my baby, and this time be quiet.” Her eyes tear from my own as she goes back to flipping pancakes, a huff slipping off her lips. My father just stared in disappointment before he picked up the newspaper and settled at the kitchen table. I know I should’ve been quieter, should’ve known better, but everything came to a still. Tears pricked behind my lids. I remember walking to the counter and grabbing the kitchen knife covered in strawberry juice. I cried as I made my way up the stairs and to the blue and red room of Georgie. His crying pierced my ears as I walked up to him. I raise the knife into the air and think to myself, ‘I used to be happy’.

[nathanbatemanfucker]

Lifelong: 20 years

summary: an impromptu trip across the country to take care of aaron.

pairing: fem!reader x aaron hotchner

content: unrequited love, guilt, angst, sadness, fluff if you squint kind of?

an: aaron is soooo baby in this one. okay my friends we’re close to the end here, hearts will be mended soon. next part is massive <3

word count: 1k

series masterlist | masterlist

When Aaron calls you for the second time this week you know that’s something’s up. The two of you have a weekly call that’s already been had and you’re still at work. In fact, he’s still at work.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve been served.”

“Divorce papers?” You can’t say you’re not shocked.

You know that they’ve been separated, you know that Haley’s wanted more but you always imagined that they’d work it out. They’ve been Aaron and Haley to you for so long that you’re not sure what a world looks like without them together, though your mind goes to selfish places immediately.

“Yeah.”

“Aaron, I’m so sorry. What do you need? What can I do?”

“I…” You hear shuffling on his end of the phone and can imagine him running a hand through his hair, “I don't know.”

“That’s okay. It’s okay to not know,” You have to say it because he’s not okay with that. He likes to know things, feels like he has to but you want him to just stop thinking about fixing everything for a moment. “Do you have any idea when the next case is?”

“I don’t know, we just got back from one.”

“Put in the time,” You say, switching tabs on your computer to look up a last-minute flight. It wouldn’t get you there until after midnight because of the time difference in Seattle, but it’ll do.

“It’s too late for-“

“You’re the boss. Put in the time.”

“I couldn’t ask you to waste your yearly visit on this.”

“You didn’t ask, it’s not a waste, and you’re my best friend.”

“Are you sure?”

“You just have to tell me how many days you’re putting in for so I can do the same.”

“3.”

It takes just a few clicks of a button to get your trip set up. You send an email to your boss citing a family emergency, “The flight’s booked, you’ll pick me up?”

“I’ll be there.”

He meant that in the most literal sense. When you arrive he's standing at the gate, looking down at his phone with that slight frown that's become his face’s resting place.

“You didn’t have to do your FBI privilege thingy,” You say as he embraces you tightly.

“I didn’t want you walking through here this late by yourself,” He murmurs before letting you go.

“There’s hardly anybody here,” You reply, gesturing around to the quiet airport.

“My point exactly,” He holds his hand out for your bag. There's no reason to argue with him and you hand it over with no protest. He transfers it smoothly to his far hand before offering his arm to you. Again, with no protest, you slip your arm into his and the two of you walk to his car that’s parked with airport staff.

“You know they built one of those burger joints from home here,” He says once the two of you are off the airport’s grounds.

“Fries do sound good. Have you been since they opened?”

“No, I was saving it for when you came into town.”

“Then take me, Hotchner.”

He reaches over to pinch your thigh playfully, “You don’t call me that.”

“I was trying to get a rise out of you. It worked. Predictable as always Aaron Hotchner.”

He rolls his eyes, and fiddles with the radio, turning on the oldies station you always listen to. It’s warm in Virginia still so you let down the window, and stick your feet out, resting your head on his shoulder while he orders the food. When you try to stick your hand in the bag he swats it away, and you pout the whole way home.

You feel 17 again eating burgers and greasy french fries on his couch. You talk about everything but Haley and the divorce. He’s somehow managed to give you every detail about his visits with Jack without even mentioning her name. All you can do is hold him close when his voice gets thick with tears. He doesn’t let them fall, but he gets to a point where he has to stop talking. He clings to you, listening to the sound of your breathing until he slips into a slumber.

His soft snore makes you smile and for a moment you let yourself bask in it. You let yourself imagine waking up to it, to this, him lying on your chest with his arms wrapped around you every day. The guilt comes quickly. Haley has always been kind to you, and always supported your friendship with him. Though you love Aaron with all of you, you can’t blame her for leaving him. Regardless, you’ll always be here to pick up the pieces because he’s yours, just not in the way you long for.

Eventually, you try to move to get cleaned up but his grip on you tightens, even in his sleep.

“Aaron,”

“Don’t, please, let’s just stay here,” He mumbles sleepily, his eyes barely opening.

“I just wanna clean up and then we can go lay down,” You pull away again and he looks up at you again with wide eyes. That sadness that you hadn’t seen since his wedding day is there and it makes your heartbreak. “Just let me throw this in the trash, stay right there, I’m not going anywhere.”

He nods and releases you, and you get your trash cleaned up and in the bin in record timing. He uses his bathroom to get dressed for bed, and you use Jack’s before heading into his room to lay down. He joins you shortly, facing away from you. You scooch across the bed, pressing into his back before throwing your arm over his side. Thinking he’s about to fall back to sleep, you close your eyes in an attempt to join him, though every cell in your body is standing at alert from being so affectionate with him.

“Do you think it was always meant to end like this? That I wasn’t made to be happy?” His voice startles you and he runs his hand over yours in apology.

“Hush, you’ll be happy again. You’ll be okay. We’ll make sure of it.”

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

“You’re always here. Thank you,” He leans further into you, and you curl your chin around his shoulder as he knots your fingers together.

“Always, Aaron.”

if you’d like to be tagged in this series let me know!

tagged: @ssahotchsbitch, @shyhotch, @chelseyjoyce, @dadbodhotch11, @ssamorganhotchner, @kuolonsyoja, @heliotropehotch, @averyhotchner, @zetasaturno99, @art-and-thoughts, @laurensprentiss, @ssa-montgomery, @thinking-bucky, @silvermercy, @freesiasandfics, @ashhotchner, @fightingdragonswithreid, @moonshine-evelyn, @emlynblack, @ssahotchnerxx, @sunshinexhotchner, @angelfxllcm, @wheelsupkels, @jaspxr, @gspenc, @sadgirlml, @hotchs-bitch, @crowfootwrites, @wilbur-rabbit, @hotched, @aaronhotchy, @mommyhotchner, @reidselle

series tagged: @lesbianhotch, @rousethemouse, @ssaddyhotchner, @skyler666, @katieslotherford, @kryptonitejelly, @eternal-silvertongued-prince, @red-red-rogue, @kajjaka, @dielgonacoffee