#rufus is not doing well y'all

[kingsofeverything]

...

[fraugwinska]

I tried my hands on an Human!Alastor fic ;> It's still very different to write for Human Al, but I hope y'all like it ;> Special thanks to @hurthermore for beta-reading and encouraging me <3 This one's for you, love! !! NSFW - Heavy Smut Ahead, Minors DNI - 6k words !!

„You need technical assistance, sir?“

Alastor looked up from the papers on his desk, adjusting his glasses that slipped down the bridge of his nose. He didn't expect her to come in this late, or at all, not while he was still at the station. The curious little sound engineer that had started half a year ago was standing at his office entrance, hands in the pockets of her outrageous trousers. She was tiny, her small figure barely filled the door frame, even with her bulky tool bag that hung from her shoulders. Alastor leaned back in his seat, folding his hands, focusing his tired gaze on her defensive expression.

She was a novelty, that one. Not the first woman working at the station of course, but the first to assert herself in the male-dominated field of technical engineering. Her male colleagues saw the spunky, brass girl as a joke, either ignoring her or trying (very amateurishly) to bed her – both which didn't faze her at all meeting both scenarios with the same contemptuous indifference. The women – secretaries, errand girls and concierges – were much more organized and refined in their bullying. Shortly after her arrival rumors had already spread, one more abstruse than the other, and they had collectively decided to pretend the engineer didn't exist in their periphery. More than once he witnessed her talking to his own secretary Ruth, just to be left standing while Ruth got up and walked out with the other girls to lunch in the middle of her sentence.

The little engineer took it all in stride, though. Never complained, never became outright disrespect- or revengeful. Gradually, her expressions steeled, her answers shortened and her work hours shifted to evenings or nights, with less people to run into.

Alastor had been fascinated by her the moment they first met. He had just started his usual 'Saturday Golden Hour', his favorite and most popular segment to host, broadcasting the newest releases of jazz and swing in the evening, just before sundown. Not even ten minutes in, right after he started playing Bing Crosby's new song 'Dancing in the Dark', listeners started calling the station by the handful, complaining about horrific feedback's and sudden blackouts. While Alastor watched Rufus Ellis, the head of the tech team, frantically run around, yelling at his workers, the little engineer had wordlessly grabbed a few tools and vanished. Five minutes later, his broadcast went back to working perfectly, sound crisp and quality flawless once again. She had returned, put back the tools from where she had taken them, and when Ellis – flabbergasted – asked her what she had done, she had calmly explained that she went up on the roof to check the transmitters connected to the radio tower and fixed a broken generator that had malfunctioned due to some doves nesting in it.

No one thanked or even acknowledged her, they just shrugged and went back to business as usual. But Alastor didn't forget, and from this day he was determined to find out more about this extraordinary girl. She reminded him of his own struggle as the exception to the rule – it was a well-kept secret throughout the station exactly what Alastor looked like and who he was. That was the only reason he was able to do what he felt was born to, a cruel, unfair compromise. So, he felt an unusual sympathy for her, in addition to just his natural curiosity for oddities. However, he didn't expect her to be so elusive.

Whenever he tried to engage her in a conversation, she gave short, finite responses, avoided his eyes and hurried to get away from him, sometimes even bordering on rudeness in her haste to flee from him. Alastor was, to be frank, perplexed - his charm usually drew in the ladies unwantedly. That it had failed him now, with the little engineer, when he welcomed it for a change? Peculiar. To a degree, it angered him, but it also awakened his hunting instinct, just not the one he was used to.

“I'm afraid so, dear.”, Alastor smiled, standing up. He rounded his desk, hands behind his back, and went to her side, looking down a t her. Granted, he was a tall man, but next to her, he felt almost gigantic, which satisfied him in a strange way. “I noticed my microphone was acting up today, and would like you to take a look at it, if you don't mind. Before it decides to give up on me mid-broadcast.”

“That's my job, sir.”, she just answered, eyes intensely staring at the carpet. Alastor's eyebrow twitched in slight aggravation. But he lead her to his booth, unlocking it to let her in. She went straight to his seat, dropping her tool bag next to it and started to pull his microphone to her to inspect it. He quietly closed the door, locking it discreetly – just as a precaution so she couldn't flee him again so easily, now that he finally had her in his vicinity.

Alastor walked over to her, leaning over her shoulder to watch her carefully taking the device apart. She startled when she saw him out of the corner of her eyes. “It may take a while, sir.”, she mumbled, an obvious attempt to make him leave. Alastor laughed. “I've got nowhere to be, dear, take your time.”, he said with a hint of mischievous delight. He heard her scoff, turning back to her work. There was a prolonged silence, her fiercely ignoring Alastor's quiet, content humming while her fingers picked apart and put together parts and cables. He used the time to analyze her appearance – her hair was smooth but more unkempt than for a girl her age – how old must she be? Twenty, maybe Twenty-one? Vanity surely wasn't a flaw of hers, she didn't wear much make-up and Alastor saw various faint, light scars on her arms and hands, little bookmarks of mishaps and failures of her chosen career – the sight of them sent a sick shiver down his spine. Given his... hobbies, he found twisted appeal in scarred skin, finding beauty in those white, shimmering lines where blood once dripped from. He roamed her supple, curved body – unlike the recent fad of skinny, androgynous frames she was built womanly, round and fleshy... how beautiful could he paint her with white streaks on this vast canvas, add some masterpieces of his own to the collection?

“Alright.”, she pulled him out of his thoughts, mounting the microphone back on it's flexible stand. “A few cables were starting to corrode, I've replaced them, it should work fine now.” Alastor grinned down at her, putting one of his hands on her shoulder. The first real contact. “What an efficient engineer you are, dear. Always coming to my rescue, I have yet to show my gratitude.” She didn't look up, didn't even acknowledge that he said something to her, just packing up the various things she had spread out for the repair. Now that was just rude.

“Hello? Is this thing on?”, Alastor strained himself to sound lighthearted as he knocked two times on her head, feeling the shivers of impatience rising. The engineer closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, shifting in his chair with furrowed brows. “I'm getting paid to do my job. I don't need anything else.” She attempted to stand up, but his hand, still resting on her shoulder, holds her in place. “If that's all, sir?”

“Now now, not to hasty. I'd think it's unlike you to leave work halfway done. Normally you are quite thorough, aren't you?” Alastor cooed, tilting his head at her. “My work is done.” she said, her voice now intense and a faint tint of red on her cheek and neck. My, there's the little ferocity he thought she'd lost at the job. “Why we haven't tested the thing, dear – How can I be sure it works properly?”

“Because I know what I'm doing.” She looked outright offended at the implied possibility that she failed the task he asked of her. He had to chuckle, such a childish reaction to something so innocent. Maybe it was because implications like these grated her thick skin, but Alastor had no problem with being the straw that breaks that camel's back. He was skilled in putting people back in their place, and with her, it would be much more entertaining and much less fatal than with his other... acquaintances. He decided to tickle this sleeping dragon just a bit more, with a funny little idea in mind.

“No one is infallible – especially when they are so young. No fault in that, dear, but I'd like to be sure.” Alastor swiftly grabbed her wrist, pulling her up to stand. Putting up no resistance, most likely because of sheer perplexity, he twirled her almost like in a dance, side-stepping to his chair, and sat down, pulling her onto his lap, locking her there by an arm wrapped around her waist. The look on her face was worth it's weight in gold – eyes wide, mouth agape in stunned shock, and tips of the ears reddened. Her hands grappled the armrests so forcefully her knuckles were as white as the scars on her arms, and within seconds of regaining her active conscience she squirmed against his body. “What... that's so... sir, please let me g...” “There you go, dear.”, Alastor ignored her babbling, using his free hand to put the headphones on her. Her pulse under her thin, clear skin drummed faster against him, it's heat felt like it could boil his own blood.

He grabbed his own microphone, swinging it up between their faces and leaned forward, chin resting on her shoulder and the grille brushing his lower lip. She stared, dumbstruck, a bead of sweat forming on her forehead. He chuckled against her cheek, leaning his mouth to the mic as he pushed the switch on the control panel up, and his rich, sultry baritone echoed in her headphones.

"How about it, darling, do you hear me?"

She breathed deeply, gulping, and her heart sped up even more. Alastor smiled devilishly against her soft skin, delighted and in awe by how far he got her worked up as she just nodded sharply.

"No soundrops, feedback or small interferences?", he hummed, his voice dripping sweet honey. She took a moment to answer. "N-no... everything seems alright."

"Lovely." He almost whispered, but she heard it crystal clear through the headphones. He let a low sigh and took off his glasses with one hand, slowly, teasingly, his nose tracing over her neck, as if it was coincidental, as if he'd never ever do such a thing intentionally, putting the accessory on the table next to him, eyes locking on the hazel ones of hers mirrored in them. "Although I wonder..." He pushed the mic nearer to her mouth, seeing a tremble running over her body. "... if the higher pitches might be a problem... You wouldn't mind help with that, would you?"

She stiffened up, barely daring to breathe, her skin erupting into goose flesh underneath his lips, he felt the impulse to press them against her, lick the salt and nervousness from it.

"Sir, I-I can't.."

He chuckled at her strained, whispering voice. How beautiful was her distress, so rich, so fragrant, almost strong enough for him to savor its essence without even needing to touch her.

"Then, may I assist you?", Alastor felt himself giddy with impish delight, his hands slowly trailing upwards from her waist to her bust, cupping her gently through the thin fabric. This made her wriggle again, a small, high pitched squeak leaving her lips that his microphone just amplified in glorious reverberations. Alastor chuckled darkly as she froze, neck burning red in deep embarrassment from the sound she heard from the headphones.

"Now we're talking. A wonderful first try. But let's see what else we can get out of you, darling. After all, we want to be thorough."

His hands palmed and kneaded the supple flesh through the cotton, feeling her squirm and tremble and the warmth of her bosom, imagining the blood rushing through her heart. How exquisite was she?

He could hear a small whimper as her head slightly lowered. Was she closing her eyes? He imagined it so. Imagined she'd shut her pretty eyes closed, furrow her brows in conflict as her legs pressed against each other in fruitless desperation. Her hands tightened on the armrest.

"You are so very quiet, dear. Why don't you relax and turn the volume up for me?"

With one of his hands he quickly loosened the two buttons that kept her blouse close and tugged at the collar to widen the neck hole, then slid under her brassier and gripped one breast with a tight squeeze. Alastor caught his breath as he realized just how sensitive and sweet the freckled skin under his fingertips was. Soft. Warm. So fragile... He would never have imagined this was hiding under her daily uniform, her sagging shoulders and loose jacket hiding those lovely features. Alastor felt a delightful spark crackle in his head and shoot up the nerves of his spine. His hunting instinct pulsed under the mask. But... with a slight delay, Alastor recognized it as a different type of hunger... one of the carnal and more depraved kind. Another novelty for him.

Alastor suddenly wondered what her lips tasted like, how soft and warm would they feel on his, her teeth biting, her tongue teasing him. How many ways could he break her - and could he do it quickly, with his bare hands, with his words alone maybe, or with his undisciplined arousal pushing against her rear-end through the fabric of his trousers? How often did she think of him? How did she think of him? Did she fear him, or dislike him even? He could hear her breathing hasten as he was trying to compose himself.

There was the devil's urge to just let himself go. To shove the equipment aside and tear those outrageously inadequate clothes away from her flesh, run his hands over the skin he didn't get to see yet, trace and map those scars of hers until they fade underneath his fingers. Mark her more thoroughly than any machine mishap ever could. Make her cry, moan, beg and whine under him until there was nothing left in her and this novel hunger was satisfied.

A wonderfully loud moan escaped her, a sweet, silky, vibrato sound of passion, that went right from Alastor's chest into his pelvis. She opened her eyes wide, pressing her hand firmly over her mouth, mortified at her own pleasure.

Oh, Alastor thought to himself, smiling mischievously as the shock of lustful rapture coursed through him, how easy it was for him to undo her. So unexplored, so fresh... "Do you wish to stop, darling?", he asked with a teasing pinch of her hardened nipple, which made her cry out and her other hand fly up and cover her mouth, too. She shook her head, her cheeks flushed and hot, eyes hazed with confused pleasure. He rubbed and teased the nipple gently in his palm, holding her close, making her struggle in defiant silence. The only sound was his gentle, patient humming.

But oh, she was breaking, crumbling like a stale beignet, and the noises his hand bullied out of her turned from hushed whimpers to barely muffled groans and cries for him, long and wanting 'Sir's and 'Oh's. She was melting under his palm. He grinned wickedly, his lower body hard and wanting against her as he put the microphone to his own lips again and spoke into it.

"Say it with your words, dear, should I stop? Or is it that you can't hear me?"

"Y-yes! I mean... No sir... d-don't... stop." There was a suppressed crack in her voice, and Alastor sighed with lust at her gasping affirmation, grinding against her plushy backside. He has found it amusing to push her limits, break through her thick skin and riddle her, like an ice pick cracking open a glacier. And now it would shatter her so gorgeously. "It's Alastor, darling." He whispered into the microphone with a dragging, sultry voice, his hand retreating from her breast, only to snake it's way to the hem of her pants. Her legs twitched, pushing together to futilely protect her modesty, but her body eagerly arched in a way that gave such easy way for his fingers to slip under the garments, feel and stroke the short, coarse hair, following it's trail, only to meet soft, silken and slippery wetness. A startled gasp escaped her and the only reason she didn't leap up was because Alastor kept his firm grip on her waist, pulling her tight against his throbbing erection. Her head fell back onto his shoulder, exposing her delicate throat as she whimpered, hands flying from her mouth to the armrests again, gripping so hard her fingernails dug into the hard wooden surface.

He tried to restrain himself but couldn't, he testily bit into the thin, soft flesh of her neck as his fingers found their way into her entrance and dipped deep in, coating his palm in generous wetness and crooking, exploring carefully, but with a patience even he was surprised at, eyes fixated on the taut fabric as he thrust into her in tandem with the waves her body undulated at the new sensation, her sweet taste on his tongue.

"S-Sir, please...", she groaned against his hand that still remained pressed over her lips, as if it could suppress the bliss Alastor wrought her into. He withdrew his hand for a moment, fingers wet, glistening and slick, as she was breathless, but she couldn't hide how her hips were chasing his retreating touch. He leaned into the microphone, barely lifting his mouth from her neck.

"Say my name, and I shall listen, little engineer."

She hesitated for just a heartbeat, before opening her eyes, hazily staring at the ceiling as Alastor patiently waited, his fingers drawing idle circles around the sweet pearl on her outer folds. She pressed her lips together for a second, seemingly mentally preparing herself, and then opened her mouth, to give in, to submit to him.

"...A-Alastor, please..."

"I like the sound of my name from your lips, darling." He almost purred in return and resumed his movements with added vigor and focus. He put down his head on her shoulder, nuzzling into the juncture of her throat, watching her reaction and every detail of how his hand worked her over with the rhythmic hump of his hips, forcing him to breathe harshly as he was starting to be deprived of blood. He had barely noticed it, how incredibly erotic and sinful this whole thing felt not just for her, but for him, too. Partly of course, because of the chase, the coaxing, the hunt to have her call and writhe for only him, not for any of these imbeciles that tried to get their pick with her, his ears pricked and eager to savor her wanton sounds... A surprising need to be connected, closer to her than anyone ever could be in her whole life, and it made him even giddy to know no man had touched her like he was doing now, taking her purity with ease and glee.

But there was another part, something he thought slumbered too deep within him to be ever awoken, a roaring fire in his guts as the alluring, delicious scent of her arousal assaulted him like a siren's song, lulling, cajoling him with sensual desires to drown in them, to abandon all else and indulge, to completely give in and surrender. It wasn't tactical, calculating or strategic, but wild and primal and primitive, and not at all as painful or awkward to him as he had always thought it'd be.

What a revelation a woman's body could be.

He almost missed her coming into his eagerly working hand - a sudden, full-body twitch that went through her spine, a whine in her voice that ended in a choked sound as her orgasm claimed her and washed her away in the torrent of rapture - eyes going wide as the air escaped her in a desperate cry, hands gripping his thigh and the chair's armrest so hard the nails left little scratches in the wood. He barely had time to notice it before her climax hit him like a truck - the convulsing of her inner walls, gripping and spasming tightly around his fingers as he slowed and stroke out her high.

This moment was pure madness in his veins - his head foggy and airy, like a drug, like a vicious new addiction he would do almost anything for. Her body went slack against him, and the only thing that held her upright was Alastor's arm still securely around her, still keeping her pressed onto his hard length, still pulsing for some release of his own. Alastor wanted more, already was plotting what his hands could be doing to her body next as she came down from her high and back to earth, the heat leaving her body slowly as the soundproofed air trapped within the booth hung heavy with her hot breath and the smell of her passion.

The first movement of hers, after having come undone so beautifully for and on him, was to lift up the headphones.

"Well then, little engineer.", he huffed into her ear, laughing with barely hidden delight. "What is your final assessment?"

"Your microphone works perfectly. J-just like I said it would." She was determined, if nothing else. And unbearably cute when she was defiant. Alastor simply adored a fiery spirit, even as he was already thirsting for more. He looked up, her sharp tone prickling his pride. He shot her a glare from the corner of his eyes, his usually calm smile tugging upward in a half smirk as she avoided his eyes. Oh, was she starting to have second thoughts about her tone towards him?

"I always admired your work ethics and knowledge, my dear, even though you eluded my attempts to give you your well-deserved recognition." The hand not occupied in playing with her still moist, delicate flesh lifted the arm that she had still buried in his thigh, brushing his fingers lightly over her knuckles as he brought it to his lips. She went still as a stone under his fingertips. "I asked myself, what would be the reason you ignored and evaded me for so long? Do you dislike me that much, little engineering girl?"

"No." It took her a moment, a little quiver in her voice, but it seemed like this was the first time in a long while that her answer was as blunt and truthful. He sighed contentedly, planting a soft kiss on her hand. "Quite the contrary, in fact."

His eyes snapped to her, narrowed. She still refused to look at him, still tense and obviously embarrassed, her free hand trembling on her lap. So it hadn't been animosity that made her behave so coldly towards him, not aversion that made her flee his presence and not prejudice that made her avoid their encounters but...

"Ah." Alastor chuckled softly at her awkward behavior, grinning delightedly at the revelation. "Of course."

Shyness was a curious thing, he thought, often misinterpreted as either prude modesty or cold antipathy. And it seemed Alastor had fallen for the latter interpretation - he would've been miffed at the thought if it hadn't brought her here, into his lap, and into his hands - alas, better late than never, he guessed. And there was still something to take care of.

"Well, since you're not running from me now..." His hand left hers and joined his other one in pulling the belt of her pants open, gently tugging on the metal buckle until the strap slipped free. "Let me finally show my gratitude in kind, for the lovely engineer and her marvelous work."

He loosened his tight grip on her, enough so that he could turn her to face him - for once, she glanced at him from under her lashes, not only out of bashfulness now - but he thought he saw something like cautious anticipation there, too. His grin became even wider as she kept his gaze, even if barely. A last stubborn act of shy rebellion - in another situation it would have enraged Alastor, but now, he was delightfully fascinated and challenged by her stubborn nature, by the unpredictability of her reactions even now, as she herself hooked her fingers under the hem of her pants and pushed them down over her shapely hips.

The last barrier of decency fell between them, revealing the full picture before him - there was her reddened face framed by cascading locks, eyes lowered in embarrassed defeat; Her stiffened nipples prominent on her perky, tight breasts; The damp patch of dark pubic hair that barely hid her glistening privates and the plush roundness of her thighs. And the whole body covered in tiny, white streaks, healed cuts and burns scattered in between her freckles. Oh, she would be delightful to ruin over and over again.

He took a step towards her, his hands immediately moving to her hip, exploring, caressing the soft flesh. This time, she did not move away from his touch and watched him with big, wide-blown eyes, full of expectation and a new type of uncertainty as he lifted her up onto the main control panel. He discarded of his jacket, the cloth too heavy and hot for him now, and threw it aside carelessly, leaving his bow tie hanging loosely around his neck as he went back to the woman, his little prey. Her knees parted slightly when his body wedged between them, an inviting gesture from her, though Alastor suspected she herself didn't notice. He grinned darkly, lifting her chin up by a finger, before bending over and planting a firm but restrained kiss on her lips, feeling his own skin crawl in electric stimulation, eager to finally taste her. His hands made quick work of his slacks, freeing his almost painfully erect member with a pleased sigh. From the way she gasped and her eyes widened, he could easily deduct that she had less to no experience whatsoever.

Oh, what a fortune. Alastor relished the thought of claiming precious, well kept treasures, his breath quickened as he broke from the kiss, hands running over her heated skin in swift, soothing motions, goosebumps trailing in their wake as he felt her shudder with hesitant desire beneath him. Oh, this would be fun.

"Let's be sure you'll hear my message loud and clear, this time, hm?"

He took her mouth again before she could protest, discreetly angling the microphone down with one hand just near enough where she would soon enough be connected to him. With a sly grin, he lined himself up to her waiting entrance and slowly pushed in. She stiffened at the unfamiliar invasion, a mewl muffled against his lips and hands in his shirt, and he stilled, enjoying the way her body reflexively tightened and squeezed around him as she tried to cope with the sensation of him stretching her.

She gasped as her chest heaved from the feeling, her walls convulsing around him like a vice. He allowed a low groan to escape him, she felt so gloriously tight and hot he had trouble keeping his composure, hands twitching to rut into her and just plow through.

"Ready for the final test, darling?"

"T-test...?"

He didn't bother to give her an answer as he started to move. In and out, with slow and drawn out movements, keeping his thrusts shallow at first, deep and precise enough to press against her innermost point and making her moan helplessly. The wet sounds of their coupling reached his ears, coupled with her wanton cries, an obscene and enchanting noise he was waiting for. With a mischievous smile, he picked up the headphones from where she had put them down, lifting it to one of her ears. Her face flushed in such lovely shades of red when the squelching echoes of what the mic picked up reached her ears, amplified and oh-so-clear thanks to her own handiwork.

He let out a guttural chuckle as he leaned into her, still thrusting slowly, her head falling on his shoulder and hanging onto his shirt for dear life, knuckles white as she could hear all the sweet sounds their bodies made and how they connected, each inch of her body singing praises for only him, for his size and rhythm. He could tell the moment her walls began to relax around him, squeezing the blood into his member as she took him in again and again, accepting it's size wholeheartedly with greedy eagerness.

"Such a talented woman.", he praised into her free ear, sighing at the delicious way her slick, swollen lips slid over his length, her thighs twitching against his with every single thrust and every word that fell from his lips. "Just listen to the fruits of your impeccable labor, dearest. Almost wasted in a place like this."

A moan, shaky and delirious, a shuddering sob for him, so high and flustered she sounded almost pained escaped her throat. She pressed against him and with a jolt that reverberated through her spine, convulsing so sweetly against him he almost came from the tremor that rushed through his cock. But it wasn't her peak. Alastor hadn't gotten his fill yet and he wouldn't stop now until it was both of their turns, but damn if he wasn't tempted.

He reached to the other ear to put the second headphone on her. Now her world had no escape, she could only listen, only hear every filthy wet noise of his slick slide, his ragged breathing and the beat of her own heart- a heavy, cacophonous staccato.

Her eyes were heavy-lidded, head clouded and flushed, looking up at him with rapt fascination. His own gaze met hers as his pace increased, suddenly snapping his hips with harsh precision, and his voice was low, carnal.

"But their loss is my gain, darling. Don't you ever forget that, now."

And his thoughts went to of those incompetent, thickheaded dunderheads who took their jobs, but were no where as skilled or invested as her, knowing full well they were inadequate and undeserving to get close to her, trying to touch what clearly should have been for him alone to do, and it sent a nasty spark of possessiveness through Alastor, igniting a furious hunger, a beast waking up within him and snarling with unbridled desire, to claim, to mark her as his. And nobody else's.

He grinned devilishly, a low rumble in his throat as a needy whine escaped his little engineer and he grabbed her waist tightly, digging his fingers into the fat there as he picked up speed and drilled into her with more intensity, savage, merciless and utterly ruthless, finally throwing all composure and rationality overboard to replace it with feral instinct and possessive desire. Her hands clutched him desperately, thighs tensing and pressing against his moving hips, her choked cries of his name were nothing else but heavenly and he was filled with lecherous obsession and greed - yes, he could get addicted to the sound of his name being screamed and moaned from her lips, her sweet, wet flesh fluttering around his throbbing length, the violent stuttering of her breath that just enticed and pleaded him to continue.

"Mine. My own, little, eager engineer." he hissed against the shell of her ear, headphones slipping from her, hips still pounding away at her heat with feverish pace and an undeniable pleasure coiling low and tightly within his pelvis. With every harsh thrust, every desperate, salacious cry, he pulled her deeper and deeper into sinful depravity, her head thrown back in bliss, the headphones slipping from her head as her nails scraped desperately over his clothed chest. The sharp bites of pain mixed with a sweet ache and tightening within Alastor, telltale signs of his climax nearing rapidly. "No more avoiding me, no more elusion or flight for you, understood? You are mine and mine alone."

Her toes curled as his words spurred her over the edge with him, her core spasming and quivering around him as her moans became ragged and desperate, jaw agape in rapture but no words found as she toppled into her orgasm, dragging and taking Alastor with her. The immense wave crashed into him and swept him along, and he growled in the sensational and exhilarating feeling and his head fell against her shoulder, with a growl ripping from his throat, low and guttural. His seed emptied in her with long, forceful spurts, her body tensing and relaxing as each twitch and jerk pushed his release deeper and deeper, the pleasure so acute, so sharp it was almost painful, until both their highs subsided and Alastor had to rest against her for a moment, their labored breaths the only noise that reached his ears.

Alastor sighed contentedly, his hand loosened it's grip and his fingertips gently traced over the angry, red lines they had left behind on her tanned skin of her waist, feeling her shivering underneath him. His lips pressed into the soft crook of her neck, placing a tender kiss on the flushed skin. He would have to do something about the bruising and marks... His eyes wandered up and he noticed that she was staring now, hazily and exhausted, her pupils still wide, lips bitten swollen and reddened, her cheeks and chest still painted pink with lingering arousal. The sight was so deliciously debauched and lewd, a smirk crept on his face.

"It seems that the equipment is indeed in perfect working order again, thanks to you, darling."

"...Yes, sir." she replied warily, her voice still breathless. Her usual demeanor returned, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes she tilted her head away from him. He chuckled, lifting her chin and capturing her lips once again, not much for hers but more for his own gain, and then moved off and out of her. He took a moment to savor the view - the red, swollen flesh, leaking his essence that pooled on the metal surface of his control panel he would work on in a few hours, and her thighs glistening in the faint orange light of the booth.

"Please, darling, from now on..." Alastor took a handkerchief from his breast pocket, wiping the mess of his hands and cleaning her with careful gentleness, her legs twitching weakly at the contact.

"...call me Alastor."

He hummed quietly and lifted her from the console, closing the buttons on her blouse again with fastidious efficiency after she slipped back into her pants. Then, with a few quick motions, Alastor picked up his jacket and fixed his own appearance, before helping her stand properly on her trembling feet.

"I trust we won't have any misunderstandings anymore?" He smiled at her, tilting his head slightly, a soft and yet challenging smile, his hand cupping her face and the thumb brushing her lower lip. Her cheeks grew warmer and redder again, her eyes flickering downwards, then back up, before she nodded silently. "Excellent."

Alastor put the headphones back on their rack, before taking his glasses, slipping them back on and reaching for the door handle, his other hand extended towards his little engineer in an inviting motion.

"Come along, my dear. Let me treat you to a nice cup of coffee, I find there's nothing better after a job well done."

She paused, her face going a shade darker and her lips pressing together. Then, after a heartbeat, she stepped next to him and through the door he opened for her. He could see the small smile that crept onto her lips as she hurriedly passed him, a shy glance shot towards him, but this time it didn't feel like she wasn't fleeing, but almost daring for him to chase her.

Another kind of hunt, he mused, and the thought made him smile as he closed the door and followed her out.

[firendgold]

"dumbledore wants to control--" hush

Thinking about how irritating it is that people still believe that Albus Dumbledore (the person people should argue is maybe too lenient with letting every teenager in his school become Sherlock Holmes or Harry Houdini as it suits them) wants to control every single move any teenager makes under his roof or relationship they have, especially Harry.

Y'all. Albus does not care. He sure will prod you in one intellectual direction or the other, help you along toward whatever conclusion he's already drawn about goings-on, but this man is not gnashing his teeth or doing disapproving frowns over his glasses because one of his students keeps their guardian informed of Hogwarts happenings or wants to visit their vault in the middle of the year for some reason or what-the-fuck-ever.

Equally irritating, the fanon idea that Albus wants Harry to only live the life the headmaster plans or wishes (and that's IF they clear the hurdle of even realizing Albus wanted Harry to live at all).

"oh, Dumbledore doesn't want Harry to have power!" HE DOESN'T??? the same guy who said that Harry was a better man than him and a worthy master of the Hallows?

"Dumbledore only wants Harry to do X/be a sacrificial lamb!" He did not want Harry to die. He had no other choice thanks to the actions consistently taken by y'all's problematic fave, Voldemort. It's only a twist of irony that Voldemort also unintentionally rescued Harry as well. If Dumbledore had taken some of the actions y'all wanted him to by pretending he had the power to override an age-old Goblet that Barty used to put Harry in the tournament, then Harry would have perma-died at any point where an otherwise-resurrected Voldemort got his hands on him.

And Albus never expresses any desire for Harry to do or be anything besides what he is. Harry decides he wants to be an Auror because a Death Eater in disguise told him he'd be good at it. He never challenges this career path even when he honestly should.

Albus' actual wishes for Harry's future boil down to this:

is he alive?

is he safe?

is he happy?

If these conditions are filled, the real Albus Dumbledore is ecstatic.

So no, there's no universe where Albus is trying to block Harry from meeting with Ministry officials (unless they're losers like Rufus Scrimgeour, who was actively more interested in arresting randoms and getting photo shoots with the teenager he should have been PROTECTING from Voldemort, not holding in front of himself like a human shield).

The real Albus does not even lift an eyebrow at your fanon Harrys deciding they must meet with The Heads of Prominent Magical Families who previously didn't give a single shit about them. (And fandom, why is this dumb idea STILL A THING two decades later?? Who gives a shit what the dude whose name you found on Pottermore and whose personality you made up has been doing during the Voldemort years, when it was likely just sitting around with a thumb up his ass twittering about Family Honor while fascist terrorists were murdering people across the country?)

Albus likes Harry more than anyone else. He wants Harry to live a fulfilling life. If Harry became Minister for Magic, Albus would be thrilled. It would give him an excuse to actually visit the Ministry more often.

If Albus could be said to have an endgame or desire for Harry's career at all, it would be making Harry a professor at Hogwarts. Did you see how much he teared up when he found out the resistance was named after him? Or how he spent the whole next year giving Harry 'lessons' he had to know were being passed right to Ron and Hermione? Albus' passion is teaching; it's the one thing he feels he hasn't completely screwed up or corrupted. He'd die happy if Harry became the Defense professor and they could share meals and classroom anecdotes every day.

[ilovepotatoesandtomatoes]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ʙʟᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴋ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

ᴅᴇꜱᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ: Guessing what pets the Blue Lock characters would have

Note: Just my opinion, might be a little ooc bc I haven't watched the anime in awhile lol

⋆ ★ Anri Teieri

✎ Anri seems like a cat person. Imagine her doing paperwork for the Blue Lock project with a cat sitting next to her desk for company. It would be really sweet and having a cute cat would help her deal with the stress of working for Ego.

✎ I imagine her cat to look and act like Marie from Aristocats. An elegant and cute white cat with a pink bow.

⋆ ★ Isagi Yoichi

✎ I can not explain why but this man has a goldfish. It's a basic pet, but it's low maintenance and Isagi finds them interesting. Probably has the fishbowl on a small desk in his room so he can look at it when he needs a break from studying.

✎ He got it in elementary school so he named it Bubbles and Bubbles is still with him to this very day

⋆ ★ Chigiri Hyoma

✎ I'm imagining Lady from the movie Lady and The Tramp. Originally it was Chigiri's sister who wanted a dog. Chigiri was kind of like meh the dog is okay. Eventually, he and the dog developed an unshakable bond. Chigiri would be doing his hair care and then his dog walks over and sits patiently beside him waiting for Chigiri to finish so that he can brush the dog's coat.

✎ Lady is an English cocker spaniel and that breed specifically requires their fur to be brushed a lot so Chigiri and his dog basically do hair care nights together. They go running together at the park every morning or afternoon.

⋆ ★ Barou Shoei

✎ Does not like animals. His neatfreak-ness does not allow him to tolerate creatures in his house.

✎ If he had to have a pet it would be a naked mole rat. Y'all ever watch Kim Possible? You remember Ron Stoppable? You remember his pet naked mole rat Rufus? Yep. That's Barou's pet.

⋆ ★ Jingo Raichi

✎ Has a German Shepherd. Together they are a menace to society. When Raichi arrives with his German Shepherd at the park everyone immediately leaves. Raichi races his dog all the time and together they chase away all of the birds and squirrels in the surrounding area.

✎ Raichi's German Shepherd is very protective of his owner but will not attack anyone unless Raichi says it's okay. The dog is as chaotic as its owner but is well trained so everything is okay. Kind of...

[cyanide-latte]

Get to know my TWST OCs pt. 1

"What Are They Twisted From?"

💫💫💫

Figured maybe doing a series of posts like this would help friends and mutuals get to know my OCs better!

(I'll also throw in some of the other characters aside from my main boys, given they're also important, even though I've not mentioned them much!)

Copper Benoit: Though this wasn't originally my intention, Copper wound up being a double twist! Initially he was a twist of Penny from The Rescuers and this remains set in his backstory and aspects of his appearance and design, as well as how he interacts with others early on. But during a lot of the brainstorming process with my wanting to incorporate elements of Penny continually finding so much pirate treasure during her captivity, I realized that a lot of his development took a totally different turn, and ultimately he becomes a twist of Captain Barbossa from the PotC movies.

Mr. Gorgania Stone: Copper's abusive captor, twisted from Madame Medusa from The Rescuers

Mr. Hiram Lurk: Stone's lackey, twisted from Mr. Snoops from The Rescuers

Augustus & Octavian: Stone's pet alligators (nicknamed Gusty and Tavie by Copper,) twisted from Brutus & Nero from The Rescuers

Old Flynn: an elderly cat beastman who worked at the orphanage where Copper spent his early years of his life, twisted from Rufus from The Rescuers

Wei Renqiao: while some details will be subject to adjustment and fine-tuning as I continue to do research and study appropriately, WRQ is twisted from Shan Yu from Mulan!

Wei Xinyi: the bigender/genderfluid older cousin of WRQ and fellow community leader, Xinyi accidentally wound up being a twist of Fa Mulan from Mulan! Happened before I realized it and honestly I like it too much to not just embrace it.

Wei Gang: the uncle of both Wei Renqiao and Wei Xinyi and fellow community leader with them, he has aspects twisted both from The Emperor of China and the First Fa Ancestor from Mulan

Hé: a young dragon secretly being raised by the Wei family, Hé is inspired by the Great Stone Dragon that was accidentally broken by Mushu with personality elements from Cri-kee (though they can shift to travel size for convenience~) from Mulan

Chrysanthos Shroud: while I think it's safe to say that all born members of the Shroud family have aspects of Hades in them (which is such a huge part of why I love them and I wouldn't have them any other way,) a great deal of the snappier aspects of Chrys's personality and his vulnerability issues are twisted from Meg from Hercules. Chrysanthos; his friends call him "Chrys", at least they would if he had any friends.

Ilias Shroud: Chrys's father, twisted from The Fates from Hercules

Kallisto Shroud: Chrys's mother who married into the family, twisted loosely from The Muses from Hercules

Debating whether to do OC nicknames from Floyd and Rook and the reasons behind them next, or whether to go over Signature Spells/Unique Magic for each character next.

The Anatole Siblings: more recent OCs, these three are twisted from the kittens from The Aristocats

Taglist: @tixdixl @ramshacklerumble @inmateofthemind @changeofheart69 (I know y'all already know the majority of this but still) @blithesharem @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @snailsrneat

[piecesofeden11]

I got tagged by @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart and @underacalicosky to make a poll of my top 5 all-time favorite characters and tag 5 people to do the same! Wee! Thank you for the tag! Also, how dare you make me choose?!? Only five? This list is gonna be incredibly incomplete and I tried to keep it spread across different fandoms. Also, I probably forgot about 20 others so ... well, here goes :D

I've included pictures of each of them under the cut :D But before you take a peek: I tag @cal-tastrophe @heretolurkandnothingmore @grapenehifics @tomatette @somethingsteff (no pressure, as always <3)

Brad:

Nines:

Anakin: (lul, in case y'all forgot)

Dante:

Rufus:

[isaspsp]

Wanted to join in the clan gen blogs BUT, see, I'm bad at comics, so I am not gonna even ATTEMPT to commit to that. But what can I commit to? A gigantic illustration that will take me weeks? Uh, sign me up!

So, I opened clan gen and created a clan, played two hundred moons on it and drew out the final family tree! I'll probs reblog this later with like, doodles of memorable moments the clan had, my fav relationships n stuff, but this is the main project heheh.

Idk, if you are curious about the lives of any given cats, feel free to ask ^_^

Download to see the full gigantic thing!

More info under the cut!

It's so many cats y'all. so many. 84 I think? God, and I was trimming the clan too! Kits and joiners that I killed as soon as they joined were not added here. Mostly kits tho.

Mapping out the characters was the hardest part. While clangen offers a pretty comprehensive family tree by looking up each cat, it's harder to have them all mapped out (which is why clangen doesn't DO that, they arent stupid like me) I started by mapping it all out on a site called Family Echo, with which I could map out the greatest majority of the tree~ I then did a rough sketch on my canvas laying out where the characters would be. And looking back, I hilariously underestimated how much space I would need, lollll. The original canvas was already pretty big, about 5000x1200, but that was before I decided to do, you know, a nice organized layout. Here's that original tree layout:

So umm, a whole ass mess. The final canvas is... 11480x3513. The biggest canvas I've ever had to have. golly.

Would I recommend this to anyone? Well, if you start your clan and do this immediately and go updating bit by bit as the moons go by, then yeah! I really enjoy visuals like these, it's like seeing statistics, heheh. Otherwise, unless you seek suffering? NO.

Fun fact, originally the clan was named DewClan, but while I was playing, @moons-of-dewclan started their blog (yes, I've been working on this for that long (also, go check themout, it's really really ggod!) and I was like oop, so I just used orvalho, which is,,, dew in Portuguese heheh.

There probably are mistakes here and there, for example I just saw that BirtchSpike is named as BirthSpike... OH FUCKING WELL.

My fav cats were (No order): Star Ratwhisker, RiverFrost, PoucePlume, GullShimmer, GustPath, CressCinder, StormDance, BiteWhisker, MouseSpot, BirtchSpike

My fav designs were (No order): PaleSplinter, DropStreak, GoldFlare, PoucePlume, GullShimmer, SpiderLeaf, OceanLight, Rufus, DropStreak, MouseSpot, MistyShade~

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Good God, Y'All

Welcome to “But Does One Simply Drive an Impala into Mordor?: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s5e2: Good God, Y’All.

The boys are worried about Bobby, who has lost the use of his legs and won’t speak. Dean shows off an x-ray of their very pretty carved ribs just before Cas calls Sam to find out where they are because, oh right, the pretty ribs mean they’re hidden from *all* angels, even pocket angel. Cas reveals that he’s cut off from Heaven and thus can’t heal Bobby (who has something to say about that—yay! He’s talking!) because then they couldn’t save healing him for some more dramatic time later on. Cas wants Dean’s samulet because it supposedly glows hot in the presence of orcs God. Dean doesn’t want to give it up, but Cas Dom-Voices him into it. Rufus calls Bobby for help in a town overrun by demons. The boys go to check it out, running into Ellen and Jo, who are hunting together now. Seems like everyone in this town thinks everyone else is a demon. Turns out no one is. The first of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, War, has arrived, and he’s making different groups of townsfolk think the other groups are possessed. Sam and Dean each figure this out independently because they are both smarties. They cut War’s ring from his finger, vanquishing him and gaining a piece of jewelry that, huh, seems like maybe it might be important later. At the end of the episode, Dean confesses that he's not sure he can trust Sam anymore, and they decide to go their separate ways. Uh-huh.

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

Mace:

oh, you’re a sword, DeanDean, don’t fight it

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Lor:

oh good. Jo.

Mace:

UGH

Mace:

BACK RUB

Mace:

I bet Dean gives extremely good back rubs

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

they're xrays, Sam. says that right there

Mace:

god, even their flipping ribs are pretty now

Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA OMG

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

OMG LOOKIT HIM STRIDING

Mace:

omg is this the scene where Misha falls to the floor to disappear?

Mace:

YES

Lor:

I think it is!

Lor:

"Say again."

Mace:

remind me what’s wrong with Bobby?

Mace:

“I heard that” HAHAHA

Lor:

he's paralyzed from the waist down but I kinda forget why already? (Ed: We remembered eventually.)

Mace:

cripes, Cas is extra gorgeous here

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

oh Cas, oh honey, you're so earnest, baby

Mace:

HE’S NOT ON ANY FLATBREAD

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

"no he's not on any flatbread"

Lor:

HAHAHA

Lor:

CHUCKLES

Mace:

“literally at the end of days” oh Dean, you’ve got, like 10 years left at least

Mace:

YES

Lor:

I love that Dean is SO anti-God all through but later when he actually meets him and confirms that he does not in fact care, it wrecks him so much

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

YEP

Mace:

get a little closer there, Cas

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

he's SO STERN i cannot

Mace:

YES

Lor:

OMG that LOOK when he turns to Dean

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“NO”… “alright I guess”

Mace:

that didn’t take long

Lor:

"may I borrow it?" "NO" *VOICE* "Dean, give it to me" *dean does*

DOM VOICE

Mace:

that’s not exactly how you play hard to get Dean

Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

Mace:

“now I feel naked” “I’ll be in touch” NICE

Lor:

"now I feel naked" haaaahahahahahah

Lor:

"tell him to send legs" HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Mace:

HAHAHA

Lor:

I refuse to believe that they did not know what they were doing with Dean and Cas right from the start

Mace:

meh, I think the writers are mostly idiots, to be honest, and stumbled onto the good stuff. the rest is all on Jensen, Jared, and Cas as amazing actors

Lor:

lolololol I love the establishing shot: snowy mountains, must be Colorado, right?

Lor:

I MEANT Jensen and Cas

Lor:

omg DUDE we BOTH called Misha Cas haaaaahahahahaha

Mace:

oh AHA! well yes then

Mace:

OMG HAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

omg the tone of the music with the destruction

Mace:

quality soundtrack choice

Lor:

omg I LOVE when music goes from undiegetic to diegetic

Mace:

YES

Mace:

“hello boys” NOT YOUR LINE, ELLEN

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

ALSO HOW ABOUT A HUG

Lor:

okay there it is. jeez

Mace:

HAHAHHA

Lor:

hahahaha the slap

Mace:

I don’t like her, but I do like that she calls Dean “kid"

Mace:

YES

Lor:

and the "yes, ma'am"

Mace:

YES

Lor:

agreed. I always love it when someone treats him like they love him, especially WHILE they are tearing him a new one, but Ellen as a character? meh

Mace:

exactly

Mace:

just because she’s a pregnant woman, Dean, doesn’t mean she can’t handle herself. Jesus.

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

although I do suspect that THAT pregnant woman might not be able to

Mace:

well sure but I’m trying to make a point here, Lor

Lor:

I DO apologize. *drags over a box for you*

Lor:

that canned soup probably has enough salt in it to be useful

Mace:

*checks to see if box has cookies in it before realizing it’s full of soap*

Mace:

HAAAAAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Lor:

*hands you another, smaller, box, this one WITH cookies*

Mace:

YAS

Mace:

*munches*

Mace:

Sammy, no. Don’t lick that.

Lor:

look, in GENERAL, Sammy, don't like knives

Lor:

*lick. dammit

Lor:

like them all you want

Mace:

SNORK

Mace:

WHY is it that every pregnant character on the screen is constantly holding her belly. NO ONE ACTUALLY DOES THAT

Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Lor:

ooooof, Dean

Lor:

I feel like if I had ever been pregnant, I would have used the shelf as a good place to rest the snacks

Mace:

YEP

Mace:

been there

Lor:

I mean, the boobies work, surely the baby bump would too

Mace:

works pretty good until the kicking starts

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

now I'm picturing chips just like flying out of the bowl

Mace:

SNORK

Mace:

ope, fret boys

Mace:

not really any of your business, Ellen

Lor:

okay, so Sam is incredibly hot when he gets angry and shoves people and Dean is incredibly hot shoved up against a wall. it's fine. I'm fine

Mace:

HAHAHAHA RIGHT?!

Lor:

also SOME GIRL? Have you met them? They never like the same girls

Lor:

and girls are always about one of them or the other

Mace:

right?! she’s a dummy

Lor:

WATCH THE SHOW ELLEN

Mace:

HAHAHAHA

Lor:

YAY RUFUS

Mace:

YES

Lor:

oh Dean

Mace:

right?

Lor:

"random's good"

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"this isn't x-files, pal"

Mace:

Ellen really should be a great character. strong woman and all, but she just… sucks. and I can’t really figure out what it is about her that doesn’t work

Mace:

HA

Lor:

right? she should be great but she's just kind of annoying

Mace:

is it the actor? the writing? maybe a little of both

Lor:

lol the poor pastor

Lor:

yeah, probably a bit of both

Mace:

HAHAHA YEP

Mace:

War is excellent, on the other hand

Lor:

YES

Mace:

War’s a daddy and I’m okay with that

Lor:

RIGHT?

Mace:

“that’s adorable” HA

Lor:

LOL

Mace:

Oh Sammy, don’t listen to him

Mace:

look at those puppy eyes

Lor:

RIGHT?!

Mace:

army dude is also a cutie

Lor:

he really is

Mace:

“genius” I love it

Lor:

YES

Mace:

Rufus is master-level snark

Lor:

"stop firing usually means stop firing" I LOVE HIM

Lor:

YES

Lor:

Frodo of the niiiiiine fingers

Mace:

War calling them kiddos to parallel Ellen

Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

YEP

Mace:

omg Dean’s LotR reference!

Mace:

You two

Lor:

"so pit stop at mount doom" DEEEAN

Lor:

YAAAAAAS

Mace:

Oh Sammy, I love you just the way you are

Lor:

well of course

Lor:

omg Dean's squinty face before he agrees

Mace:

UGH THESE TWO

Lor:

and his freeeeckles

Mace:

you KNOW you don’t want to be apart, boys. just STOP

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

maybe someone should knock their heads together

Lor:

OMG offering Sam Baby

Mace:

THEY TOTALLY SHOULD

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"you too, Sammy" OMG BOYS STOOOOOP

Mace:

FRUSTRATION NOISES

Lor:

LOL YES

[frazzledsoul]

Thoughts on Gossip Girl, 1.11 (aka the Christmas episode)

Jenny mercifully has about three lines of dialogue this episode.

Dan remarking that NYC "feels like Florida" in December of NYC seemed hilarious to me, but on Christmas Eve in 2007 (when the majority of this episode takes place) the temperature was only five degrees colder than it was in Florida. However, 41 degrees is actually considered suffering in the Deep South, December or not. Y'all city folk just don't know.

Nate and Chuck are offscreen this episode so Blair can focus on her family drama, and let me just say that her new potential stepfather is super cute and I hope we see more of him.

Speaking of that, where is Serena and Eric's dad? They never mention him, only their succession of short-lived stepfathers. Are we SURE Dan and Serena aren't half-siblings?

I can't believe we got rid of Rufus's annoying wife so soon (no way did she JUST tell her boyfriend she had to talk to him to break up with him). Also, I don't care how jealous you are of Lily, lady, y'all were separated and you were two hours away not contributing to parenting your kids at all and fucking the other guy. She also decides to move back (two hours away) instead of staying in the city to be near her kids so yeah....zero sympathy. Bye. Hope we're rid of your ass for good (I get a feeling we won't be).

Of course Rufus leaves an agonized voicemail saying he wants Lily back right as Chuck's dad is proposing to her. As much as I want to see them have their time in the sun, I can't deny that Serena and Chuck being step siblings might be hilarious.

Oh, and now we have drama between Blair's parents and her dad's new boyfriend. I do think it's interesting that Blair and the boyfriend go way back and while she's pissed at him for stealing her husband, eventually she gets over it. I actually love plotlines about step families who are too fucking friendly and know how to manage their shit.

Blair referring to her dad and his new boyfriend only able to have a "commitment ceremony" is a harsh reminder of how it wasn't that long ago that things began to change.

It has occurred to me that Blair and Serena could be a fractured mirror image of Gilmore Girls 's Paris and Rory if their personalities actually reflected their flaws. Blair, like Paris, is very organized, demanding, and ambitious, but unlike Paris, she knows how to use her charm and social graces to work for her in enacting her Machiavellian schemes, where Paris is just lonely and socially inept. Serena, like Rory, is hopelessly, naive, romantic, and seemingly well-intentioned, but she's also flighty, indecisive, and very spoiled. The entire world is her fairy tale and she expects it to continue that way, where Blair knows she has to work for it. We're supposed to love Rory and Serena more but I personally prefer the characters who are a little meaner and more proactive.

Onto the missing boyfriends: so after Nate went through that whole spiel last episode about how ACSHUALLY he loves Blair and he wants her back and she curtails the whole Chuck affair for him, he's back to his disinterested boyfriend ways and still chooses to miss her family party to go party in Monaco with Chuck?! And of course Chuck is rubbing it in her face because he knows Nate doesn't really care about her at all and is easily distracted by anything shiny. We're on episode 11 and our so-called alpha couple has spent about 5 minutes together total. CALL IT OFF. I hear they're better as friends and I hope we move to that stage soon.

[lordsireno]

The ask meme but with Fork!

(classic me taking yonks to answer anything)

Sexuality Headcanon: Demi/Ace (I mean we all know he only has eyes for one man 👀)

Gender Headcanon: Agender - he doesn't care how others perceive him either.

A ship I have with said character:

You know he only has heart eyes for Argus, but I will say he'd take Cletus as a consolation prize ajdgav

A BROTP I have with said character:

Shina's boy Diva comes to mind, or he'd learn to get along with any of the other hairdresser in the fandom.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Rufus would be the last ever choice of men for him.

A random headcanon:

He really enjoys trying new food, and he wants to cook well enough to share what he finds, but he's very average. Often gets too distracted and misses steps or burns things.

General Opinion over said character:

The more beloved he is, the more I must put him in the situations™. Y'all fuel what I do to him XD

[flannelepicurean]

Had a dream that I was watching an episode of Cobra Kai, in a timeline where Johnny and Kreese were working together for real, because they'd...I dunno, gone to family counseling and patched things up, and also I guess Johnny finally stumbled onto the right part of the internet and rolled up one day and was like, "Hey, have you heard about this new 'toxic masculinity' thing?" And Kreese was like, "Are you gonna try and sell me a juice cleanse? Because I already know about multi-level marketing."

They had also become fairly positive and reliable male presences in Robby's life, and Johnny was more or less his full-time Dad, and Kreese was his almost-kinda granddad-figure, although both Johnny and Robby were kinda weird and ambiguous on that point.

Anyhow, they were doing...something???...not exactly above-board in Europe that had them temporarily based in Portugal, and they had snuck into Spain for a couple days to do something. They got into a big fight, OF COURSE, and were able to karate their way back out, but the heat was gettin' too hot, and they decided to haul ass back to the U.S., but they had to go back to Portugal to get their stashed stuff. But they'd lost their gear in Spain, including their papers, and Robby had gotten knocked the fuck out, so Johnny and Kreese were tryna figure out how to sneak their way across the Portuguese border and back to their hotel.

The plot they'd cooked up was that, for some reason, they were gonna pretend that Kreese was Robby's dad (I guess because they needed to throw people off of their actual identities, and they thought that would help???), and Johnny was...relationship unclear. But the border situation was, incomprehensibly, kind of an outdoor pavilion on a beach, and the guy interviewing them at a little table with an umbrella over it, while they jointly supported a very unconscious Robby, was Rufus from Supernatural.

Now, Rufus knew who they were. They had, in fact, worked with Rufus peripherally on whatever thing they were doing that was not exactly above-board, or he at least would look the other way about it. But they all had to be super careful, lest they tip off the authorities.

So they're in a real pickle. And they all know it. And Rufus is giving them his best bureaucratic box-ticking act while also giving them the death-glare of, "Guys, you have screwed the pooch, tread carefully, don't eff this up, I like this job." And Kreese is kinda sitting back, stoically monitoring Robby to make sure he's not freakin' dying, because he's been unconscious for an alarming amount of time at this point, and Johnny's motor-mouthing away, getting increasingly nervous, because he knows they're being monitored in some way other than just Rufus.

And he slips up. Invents a surname for Robby, without being prompted. And Rufus just kind of gently squinches his eyes shut and informs him that, well, since he's naming names now, it's mandatory that he call it in and run checks on all three of them. But GOSH, THAT KID SURE LOOKS CONCUSSED. SERIOUS BUSINESS, THAT. IF HE WOKE UP FOR EVEN A MINUTE OR TWO AND GAVE AN INDICATION THAT HE NEEDED AND WANTED MEDICAL ATTENTION, THEY'D BE LEGALLY REQUIRED TO ESCORT HIM AND A CAREGIVER TO A MEDICAL STATION. SEEING AS RUFUS CAN'T TELL IF HE'S A MINOR, WITHOUT HIS PAPERS, AND ALL. And it could take him a while to run the background checks, system gets jammed up all the time, slow-ass government computers, filing system shot to hell, oh goodness...

And they do manage to get Robby conscious again, and explain the gist of what's going on, and he's like, "Wut? Y'all are fucking stupid, WTF..." And Johnny's like, "WE KNOW!" and Kreese is like, "Who do you mean, 'we?'" and Johnny's like, "That's beside the point! Can you act concussed? Like, tell 'em you're confused or nauseous or something?" And Robby's like, "I actually do legit feel like I'm gonna throw up, though..." And Johnny's like, "OKAY, WE GOT IT! Holy shit, sorry kid, legitimate emergency, we're gonna get you outta here, it's gonna be okay. EXCUSE ME? AGENT SINGER? SIR???" And Rufus is like, "You rang?"

They did make it into and then outta Portugal, I'm pretty sure. And Robby was fine later.

[ohnotheybombadidnt]

Rufus Wainwright, you tricksy little minx. You're probably the only thing I love about this character. That song is an utter delight.

Okay. There was some more Tommy Boy in episode 6, but I’m also caught up, so this is going to be Tom-centric, but I’m gonna bitch about everything through episode 7.

Thoughts pertaining just to Tom:

I like seeing him guiding Gandalf, being careful to let him connect with nature because that's going to bring him to himself and allow his powers to blossom, pun intended. He could do a lil more but I'll take what I can get.

Boys being boys. Guys being dudes. They just seem to have camaraderie despite having just met, even though Tom is a snoozefest and in no way would I call the man "jolly." Y'all already know I don't think this humming with occasional words under his breath doesn't count. (I want "YOU CAN DRINK YOUR FANCY ALES! YOU CAN DRINK THEM BY THE FLAGON! BUT THE ONLY BREW FOR THE BRAVE AND TRUUUUE COMES FROM THE GREEN DRAGON!" That's a jolly song.)

Still gets points for the goats. Love me some goats.

Vanity Fair is trying to refer to him with "jolly songs and his flamboyant wardrobe." K. Bright blue jacket, check, yellow boots, NOPE. Those are DEFINITELY BROWN.

Article goes on to say: "He observes drama, but largely doesn’t participate in it." That's why he's never been in anything, ever. I disagree. I think he's that initial bolster, that catalyst, that thing that pushes people out of their comfort zone in a fun way, makes them feel competent and capable, and lends this hand from above that gets our characters in all timeframes to where they need to be and WHO they need to be to face what's coming. So, fuck you, Vanity Fair.

Tolkien basically said, yeah, he's God, but don't overthink it.

Article continues about actor playing TB: "Most actors who take on a well-known genre character claim to be experts in that character. Kinnear, in his first interview about playing Bombadil, admits that he…did not." SHOCKER! LET ME PICK UP MY JAW OFF THE FLOOR! No shit, my dudes. It shows. He's not a Tolkien guy, even if he is a Shakespeare guy. You're not fooling anyone.

"In fact, he was a Lord of the Rings novice before signing on to The Rings of Power. “There are people who knew it from the books, people who knew it from the films, and there are those who had managed to get to 46 without knowing that much about it at all,” the actor says. And I went downstairs to my partner, who did know the books, and does know the films, and I said, ‘I’ve been offered this part. Apparently it’s in the books. A guy called Tom Bombadil.’ She was like, ‘No way! You’re not playing Tom Bombadil!’ So I sort of knew instantly then that it had a cultural heft to it that I was going to have to be sensitive to.” (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, AMAZON???!)

Forbes goes on to refer to him as a "...dime store Tom Bombadil." THANK YOU. Someone else knows what's up.

This Tom isn't concerned about the safety of Gandalf's friends. He's just like, welp, go fetch a stick to get magic or save lives. You choose. No way. Real Tom would have helped a little more than that, as uninvolved as he gets. AND THEN HE JUST GOES BACK INTO HIS LITTLE HOLE AND LEAVES GANDALF TO DECIDE. What is that? Go after her with no abilities, or try as fast as you can to find YOUR STAFF, gain magic, and save the girls. Guess who already has magic? TOM.

You know what Tom is interested in? The fate of Middle Earth. UNLIKE THE BOOKS. More interest in plot development than characters is absolutely right.

From a simple search I found out a lot more people than me are disappointed in a big way by this portrayal. That was encouraging.

On the series in general at this point (ep. 7):

Where. The Fuck. Is my Goldberry? FAIR RIVER DAUGHTER. SHOW YOURSELF. We heard your voice. We know you exist. Doing something weird and incorporeal is just going to make me mad but I have a feeling that's what's coming.

Halbrand/Sauron/Annatar. I just want to punch him in the face anytime he's on-screen. What he did to poor, regal Celebrimbor and beautiful Eregion, but we knew that was a matter of time. Poor little blonde girl eating it (Mirdania). Yeah. I saw that coming as soon as they were on that parapet with an aisle skinnier than a TJ Maxx during Christmas. But Elrond, your bro's mind has been fucked with a ton, so maybe don't put him right back in power as he kinda did let all this occur while he slaved away at the forge under Annatar's influence? Maybe do a little investigating to find out what all went down? Nah. He's gotta go put more product in his hair to keep those curls glistening. Never you mind that Frodo isn't our first nine-fingered friend in Middle Earth anymore.

Adar. I know he's important in the breeding of the Uruk-hai but at the same time, they did something VERY different with his face this season and it looks like a completely different person despite being the same actor and just. Ugh. He can go anytime. Also, he makes me feel bad for the orcs?

Galadriel let herself be caught. This is part of something bigger. I'm trying to will it to be. Because my girl is too badass to just get scooped by a band of orcs. When she and Elrond kiss, I think we all know it's him returning Nenya.

Dwarf vs. Dwarf in Khazad-dûm. Now they're openly talking (not naming but talking) about the Balrog that they'll undoubtedly set free if King Durin III keeps at it. Poor Princess Disa and Prince Durin IV are actually two of my favorites this season, whereas last season I was kinda neutral. I want to see them save their people, but I remember well... Gimli: "And they call it a mine. A mine!" Boromir: "This is no mine, it's a tomb!" So all I can hope for is that as many get out as possible before the Balrog emerges.

Arondir is my BOY. MY PRECIOUS LAD. He has had every kind of normalcy and the woman he loved taken from him, and her son being a little shit to him. He is a badass fighter out for kicking orc booty and I support him always. Poor guy goes through so much.

Numenor is a fucking mess and I'm glad we stayed out as much as possible. Began s1 not caring much for ruling Regent Tar-Míriel but now that the man with a Trump-sized mouth and a hell of a hairstylist that's her fucking COUSIN tried to seize the throne and she got him back in the MOST AWE-INSPIRING WAY, and saved Elendil while she was at it, nbd. And I don't like Elendil's daughter enough to even bother saying her name right. It's like all the vowels, so I just try saying all the vowels while eating and it sounds about right. She started all this by House of the Dragon-style being in the "right place" at the "right time" at the dying King's bedside (TO SKETCH HIM, LET'S REMEMBER. SHE IS NO POLITICIAN.) and wrongly puts things together and puts her poor honorable father into danger. Feed her to Cthulu next.

"Saruman" I'm guessing he is- just not doing it for me. I feel like his scenes are out of an entirely different show. I feel like I'm watching The Witcher or something. I know he'll fit at some point but he just doesn't yet and I'm not feeling him at all. And Tom apparently "trained him" ??? But won't teach Gandalf how to save the girls. That shit ain't canon.

So yes. I will keep watching. But still he remains, #notmytombom.

[countenanceblog]

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The dusty parking lot of Fort Retard was illuminated by the soft glow of the moon and the dim light coming from the adobe mansion's windows. Francisco, Rachel, and Aleister stood together, their eyes searching for any sign of life amidst the junipers and bushes that surrounded the single-story mansion. As they waited, Lazarus Typuggio emerged from the shadows, his tall figure casting an imposing presence. He was about six foot six, and his companion Jonah Siebolds was beside him.

"What's good, fam?" Lazarus greeted them with a smirk, taking a fast, deep drag from his cigarette, as if using an inhaler. "Seems like y'all are eager."

Rachel's bright blue eyes narrowed, wary of Lazarus' intentions. "You too, huh? How much do you know?"

Lazarus chuckled, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "I got my sources, girl. Now let's cut to the chase. I know y'all were lookin' for answers about Raj and his big little run-in with Elite Tactical."

Aleister, who polished his black glasses, joined the conversation. "So, what's your stake in all this, Lazarus?"

Lazarus leaned against a juniper, his dark eyes never leaving the group. "Let's just say I'm intrigued by the power play goin' on here. Raj ain't your average Joe, and the Elite Tactical ain't playin' games. They're on a mission, and it ain't gonna end well for anyone caught in their crosshairs. And today, that's lookin' to be us."

Jonah, the quiet listener, finally spoke up in his characteristic short sentences. "Tell 'em, Laz."

Lazarus smirked, his cynical demeanor not faltering. "Here's the deal, bros and babes. We're in this together already. But you better believe this ain't no charity case. You scratch my back, I scratch yours."

Francisco's ego bristled, not keen on trusting this dark figure. "And why should we trust you?"

"Trust?" Lazarus let out a humorless laugh. "Trust is for the naive. I got information you need, weapons you don't have, and you got skills that might come in handy. It's a mutual benefit thing, ya dig?"

Rachel weighed the options, her blue eyes locking onto Lazarus'. "Fine. But if you screw us over, you'll regret it."

Lazarus raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his expression. "You got spunk, girl. I like that. Now, let's talk about Raj and his powers. Elite Tactical ain't gonna let that slide. They see him as a threat, and they're gonna be after everyone who knew him."

As the five characters huddled together, enveloped in the smoke of their cigarettes, they knew that their lives were now dangerously intertwined. Finally, the garage door opened. Gwyneth Campbell, tall and dark of hair, was standing somberly next to Ralph's B.B. Sagittarius inside the garage. "Get your asses in here."

With that, they filed into the building. Inside the spacious kitchen of Fort Retard, the atmosphere was heavy with tension and uncertainty. Gwyneth Campbell's stern gaze met each of the newcomers as they entered. She stood tall and resolute, her dark hair cascading over her shoulders.

Rachel, Francisco, Aleister, Lazarus, and Jonah gathered around the large wooden table at the end of the lengthy room. Gwyneth wasted no time in addressing the situation. "So, you've come seeking answers about Raj," she said, her voice firm and commanding. "You should know that Elite Tactical is relentless, and they won't stop."

Francisco glanced around the dimly lit room, realizing the gravity of their predicament. "We need to know what Raj was involved in. Why did they target him?"

Gwyneth's amber eyes locked onto Francisco's, her expression serious. "Raj possessed a gift, some sort of superpower, really, that attracted unwanted attention. He could move shit with his mind, and that's something Elite Tactical couldn't ignore. They fear what they can't control. That's what Rufus says, anway."

Aleister leaned against the kitchen counter. "Can we trust you, Gwyneth? We need to know where we stand in all of this."

Gwyneth's lips curved into a faint smile. "Trust is a delicate thing, especially in times like these. But I can assure you that I have no allegiance to the state. I'm not one of their puppets. Fortunately, no one in the crew but Wayne wants anything to do with the government."

Rachel couldn't help but be intrigued by Gwyneth's aura of authority. "What's our move, then? How do we stay ahead of Elite Tactical?"

Lazarus, never one to mince words, chimed in. "We need a plan, and we need it now. Time's runnin' out, and we ain't gonna last long if we don't stick together."

Gwyneth nodded in agreement, her gaze moving from one face to another. "Rufus will be crucial in this. He knows things, things that can turn the tide in our favor. We're talking about trying to contact the Resistance."

Jonah, the quiet observer, finally spoke up. "I'll go get the rest of 'em. How many people are here, anyway?"

"Me, Maggie, Karen, Rufus, Wayne, Xander, uhh, Corey too. Oh and Yuki is around here somewhere," replied Gwyneth. Jonah nodded and took off.

Rachel's blue eyes softened with a sense of security. "Thank you, Gwyn. We'll need all the help we can get."

As the group settled into a strategizing huddle, the sound of footsteps echoed from the hallway. Rufus sauntered into the kitchen with his signature sarcastic grin, and Wayne followed, exuding his usual air of superiority. Quiet Jonah trailed behind them.

"Well, well, well, what's the occasion?," quipped Rufus, leaning against the counter next to Aleister.

Gwyneth glanced at Rufus and raised an eyebrow. "We're facing some serious trouble, and we need to come up with a plan. Raj's situation is just the beginning. Elite Tactical won't stop until they have us all."

Wayne scoffed, "Oh, please. I doubt they care about the rest of us. What are they going to do, abduct a bunch of attractive young people? Without explanation?"

Rufus rolled his eyes. "Leave it to Wayne to be completely clueless. This is bigger than just Raj. They're going after anyone with powers, and they're not going to be satisfied with one or two captives, Wayne. They're already coming out saying that Raj was David Griffith's second in command. We're in deep shit. Actually, deep shit is an understatement, my friends. We're practically drowning in a puddle of trouble here. But hey, who am I to complain? It's not like I have anything better to do with my time." He took a dramatic pause, his eyes scanning.

Rachel couldn't help but roll her eyes at Rufus' dramatics. "Cut the theatrics, Rufus. We need to focus."

"Yeah, yeah, boss lady," Rufus replied, feigning a salute. "So, what's the grand plan, huh? Are we going to stand here, basked in the glory of . . . Wayne? Or are we going to do something useful?"

"Useful?," Wayne shot back. "At least I look good on paper, asshole. You work at a pizza place."

"Yeah, and you live with your mom. Shut up," Rufus told him. "Your only idea so far was turning ourselves in."

Lazarus, who had been quietly observing, finally spoke up in his slang-filled manner, "Yo, enough of the ego battle. We need all hands on deck if we wanna survive this mess. Rufus, you got info, spill it. Gwyneth said you know stuff. How's that, anyway? Your pops?"

"Well, I know that Agarthan Intelligence would've taken him by now," began Rufus. "And I know that they have a secret facility where they dissect psychics. It's underneath Cortez. So, look – "

Aleister interjected. "What do you mean, underneath it? Cortez? That's in the middle of nowhere. It's a village."

Rufus smiled widely. "You know ATS? The Transit System? There's a secondary one, only the elite, intelligence people, etcetera, can use it. Subways." Aleister lowered his glasses for perhaps the first time ever. The others listened closely. "Me and Jack used to explore the tunnels under Air Town, some of them connect to government facilities underground. Sometimes huge ones. Oftentimes they're abandoned. This is what the elite are really doing, building stuff deep underground."

Francisco, who had been quiet for some time, piped up. "We need somewhere better to talk, Ralph or Timmy are viable to pop in anytime. Where are they, anyway?"

Rufus chuckled. "Neither of them checks the news until the morning. We told Ralph we were throwing a chiller. Let's go to the war room." Francisco nodded curtly.

[nihilsgamingcorner]

Here comes the sim family spam! This is the Realmwalker Family, consisting of Victoria and Rufus, and their two cats Loki and Walley. Technically this wedding didn't happen because the game crashed before I could save it so I had to redo but these pics are so cute! In the current save they are expecting so when I do play on them expect babies! :D Also, Vic is a werewolf and Rufus is a spellcaster. Gonna be some wild kids 0_0

Victoria is also currently a mint heir for the Not So Berry challenge! Before she met Rufus she was squatting in a large house in Moonwood Mill, but she was able to build her way up and after meeting Rufus her life changed forever. Not without a strange visit from Greg, though.. that may have been a mistake!

They've had Rufus' parents live with them in their new house, but things really didn't go well as Rufus' mother is not only strict but slightly unaccepting of her child's nonbinary identity. Their father is on their mother's side, however he is a bit softer. Despite this, after Rufus' mother quite rudely picked on Victoria one too many times they got kicked out. Victoria's father was there for them and very welcoming, and he even helped out with the wedding!

Might I mention Rufus is an actor? They'll be the most famous sim on this side of Henford-on-Bagley (where they live) and beyond. They even got nominated for an award! Haven't hit the point where the ceremony is but if they win I WILL post. I'll post even if they dont but yk

(trigger warning pregnancy loss in the next paragraph. if this is an uncomfortable topic for you please skip to the next set of pictures!)

I will say, though, that Victoria's pregnancy journey has been somewhat rough. She's always been iffy about pregnancy (they do take steps to prevent it where they can but sometimes things do slip.) and the first time she got pregnant she was not ready. Woohoo Wellness is a fucking incredible mod by the way, highly recommend for making pregnancy more interesting, especially if you play longer lifespans and make pregnancy last longer like I do. I can make a post about my settings and such another time. The first pregnancy was really rough. Victoria was constantly stressed and she couldn't deal with it. By the second trimester, things went south and she came home from the hospital with an urn. Despite not being excited about the pregnancy at all she was still devastated over the loss. She got pregnant again a while later and not only was she still not sure about it, she was even more afraid because of the previous loss. She's taken steps both on her own and with Rufus to figure it out, and she's come to accept this. Rufus is overjoyed to be having a child, and while they are sad that Victoria isn't quite as happy, they're still as supportive as they can be. As of where I've left off, Victoria was in her third trimester (though the save seems to want to complain with her not showing at all the moodlet or the belly but i'll fix it next time i play on them) and we're getting close. The baby room is ready and they're both set to go.

I'm not sure if her first born will be the red NSB heir or not but we will see <3

This is the catch up on the Realmwalker family up to this point and I look forward to sharing their next chapter with y'all! If you have baby name suggestions feel free to send em my way ^^

[wehadabondingmoment]

Season 1 add-ons:

- This all ties into Joy's disappearance of course!!

- After Rufus' betrayal the adults know there might be akumas soon and choose Joy as their new superhero

- So basically they train her and stuff

- it'd make sense if they chose her to be Ladybug but then she's incompatible with Tikki (think Aspik) so Nina steps in but since they don't have the Ladybug-Miraculous I raise you this:

- They try to give her Plagg

- That of course, ends up being a disaster. Not because Joy and Plagg don't match, no.

- They match too well.

- Eddie and Plagg match crazy well too but at least they have a Ladybug who keeps them in check

- Joy, instead, uses Plagg to run away from the adults (to see the musical like she does in the original) and is overall not really suited for fighting Metamorphosis and the adults all know but what are they going to do?

- When Ladybug appears, they are secretly ecstatic because Chat Noir! Joy kinda scared them. They take her Miraculous back and that's supposed to be it. Except it isn't. Because Rufus now thinks that Joy is Ladybug and the adults need to keep her in hiding.

- They decide against setting both Tikki and Plagg free because if Metamorphosis wins, he'll instantly get to make his "life for life" wish (this is scarily close to the original). This is also why Nina ends up leaving: Both kwamis together practically beg for danger to show up (again, like in the original)

- Rufus and Patricia originally meet when he akumatizes her and he realizes that they have a common goal: Getting Joy back. So he makes his whole fake PI website (maybe by casually enlisting a hacker-akuma? Idk I feel like Rufus would use akumas just to make things easier for him since they suffer memory loss after being released anyway)

- He approaches her as his normal self and convinces Patricia that Victor is Metamorphosis (which is the same conclusion Nina and Amber come to)

- They are too scared to confront him tho rip so the three of them perform elaborate tests. Does he disappear during Akumas? Yes (to check on the miraculous) Does he have secret jewelry he refuses to take off? Yes (the turtle miraculous) They may or may not try to steal it

@incorrectsibunaquotes @deadinarussianelevator ...do y'all wanna write this? We could each have a seperate PoV (Nina, Victor, Patricia, Rufus...) and just write this story together? Idk hmu if you're down

House of Anubis x Miraculous Ladybug AU

Okay hear me out because I’ve thought about this for a long time. It’s not a crossover fic so much as it’s what HOA would have been like if it were set in a Miraculous-like universe.

Quick overview for those who don’t know the mechanics of Miraculous Ladybug:

There are items of jewelry called Miraculouses, that grant whoever holds them powers to become heroes and/or villains. These powers come from the kwamis attached to the miraculouses.

Kwamis are like tiny, super-powerful immortal deities that take after animals in the world and who represent different abstract ideas about the universe (ie. creation, destruction, illusion, subjugation, etc.)

The Ladybug (creation) and Black Cat (destruction) miraculouses are the most powerful, and when combined together, grant the holder a wish. However, this wish comes with a disastrous consequence to keep the balance. So basically, only someone lacking a lot of empathy would ever want to commit such a selfish act.

The Butterfly Miraculous (transmission) is able to grant regular people powers to create temporary superheroes/supervillains through an “akumatized” object. However, in Miraculous Ladybug, this miraculous has been stolen and used for evil, preying on the negative emotions of the people of Paris to create destructive villains. Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth, the holder fo the butterfly, is using the miraculous to lure out the holders of the ladybug and black cat miraculouses so he can make the wish.

However, only the ladybug miraculous can purify an akuma and restore the damage caused by it.

Okay so now that we have the basics down, let’s get into the AU:

Nina Martin arrives at school to a pretty normal existence. Joy hasn’t disappeared, everyone’s either friendly or largely indifferent to her presence, but overall it’s pretty chill.

That is, until Nina runs into Sarah, who is spouting nonsense about a man who is about to attack the school and town at large to get the miraculouses. She rambles in about how the man with the butterflies mustn’t find her miraculous, and passes off the earrings of the ladybug to Nina.

Thinking she’s crazy, Nina accepts the earrings hesitantly and helps Sarah back to the nursing home. When she gets home, however, and actually looks at the earrings, a tiny kwami flies out and introduces herself as Tikki, the ladybug kwami. Once she calms Nina down, Nina accepts the miraculous and becomes a superhero. However, she must keep her identity a secret from everyone in the house.

Soon after this, a supervillain by the name of Metamorphosis akumatizes Mick Campbell into a villain after he gets angry with Alfie for making moves on his girlfriend.

Tikki explains her powers and also that she’s meant to have a partner in the black cat miraculous, but she senses it’s not active at the time. She assures Nina it’s okay though because the ladybug miraculous can cure any damage caused by the akumas.

So Nina transforms into the hero Ladybug and goes out to fight her akumatized housemate.

Understandably, everyone is freaking out because what the fuck is happening, why did Mick suddenly turn into a giant monster? However, Nina as Ladybug manages to defeat him and purify his akuma, restoring the damage done to the surrounding area and saving Mick.

Everyone is super in awe of Ladybug and she becomes a bit of a celebrity, but no one knows it’s secretly Nina.

Metamorphosis continues to terrorize the school and surrounding town, always sending his akumatized villains after the ladybug miraculous. He’s desperate to get his hands on the black cat too, but that miraculous remains at large.

A year passes, and Nina is growing closer with Fabian, and the two clearly like each other, but Nina can’t fully commit because she’s keeping such a massive secret.

Mara, Joy, and Patricia all run the school website that has become pretty much the Ladyblog, and it’s pretty well known around the world as the best source about Ladybug and the akumas, a site dedicated to theories, recaps, etc.

Up until now, we have no idea who Metamorphosis is, but Nina has a suspicion about Victor.

Eddie joins the school about a year after everything started going down, and is shocked when Victor calls him into his office and reluctantly hands him a box. Inside, is the black cat miraculous.

Victor explains that he knows Metamorphosis’ identity as Rufus Zeno, the former holder of the black cat miraculous. He confides that because the black cat and ladybug are two halves of the same whole, they’re meant to fight side by side.

When Eddie asks why him, Victor reveals that Rufus had once been the black cat, and Victor himself had been the holder of the butterfly and turtle miraculous. In Sarah-as-Ladybug’s final battle, Rufus turned on her and she was forced to defeat him in combat with Victor’s help. In the battle, Rufus managed to take Victor’s miraculous, but not before Sarah managed to take his. He escaped, though, and the black cat was given to Victor to take care of. For a while, Eric Sweet kept it safe, but eventually gave it back to Victor when he felt he wasn’t worthy.

Victor continues to use the Turtle miraculous which is why he hasn’t aged.

Now it falls to him, as he has all the makings of a true black cat. He explains he can’t tell anyone his identity, and he readily agrees.

“Who is Ladybug then? Do you know?”

“No. Sarah was forced to hide after her adopted brother turned on her. I have not spoken with her in many years. But she must have picked a worthy successor.”

Cue insane identity shenanigans bc Nina and Eddie are living under the same roof, are barely friends irl, trying to navigate their own relationships, while also having to avoid being sussed out by their housemates who run a blog dedicated to everything about their alter-ego, and also any time anyone in the area gets upset ever, there is a monster to fight.

There’s def more I could do with this AU, but here’s the barebones. Do with this what you will 🐞🐈‍⬛

[mystoganisiconic]

He walks in on you changing(Rogue, Sting and Gajeel

Rogue: He was looking for his cape but couldn’t find it and came into your guys’ room

You took off your shirt and you weren’t wearing any bra because you had woken up only a few minutes ago, that when Rogue walked in, “Hey Y/N have you seen my ca-, oh my god oh lord um I uh..” he was trying to say something but poor boy was so nervous. “Rogue you know you’ve seen me naked before”, “I know but um-i I’m sorry I should just uh go, yeah b-bye”, he said closing the door and walking out. After you were done, you went out to see a completely flustered and embarrassed Rogue. You assured him that it was alright though.

Sting: This horny mf doesn’t even need a description, he’s literally gonna be like Gray + Laxus.

“Hey Y/N you’re changing in there?”, you heard Sting ask, from the other side of the door “Yeah I am”, “Good cos I wanted a treat”, he said opening the door and walking in. “Sting no, please get out”, you say calmly. “Really now, you want me to get out or get in you. (tf did i just write) “ALRIGHT LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHI-”, you cut yourself off by giving out moan when you realized his lips were on your neck, abusing it, “St-sting I ju-st took a sh-shower”, “not my fault”. “Sting have you seen my-oh my god oh god I’m sorry”, you both freeze as you hear Lector entering the room and swiftly existing it, completely embarrassed. “I hate you”, you said looking him in the eye, “love you too, angel”

Gajeel: this bitch-

You had just gotten out of the shower and this iron chomping machine walked in. You were too busy vibing out to the music you were listening to, moving your almost completely naked body to every beat, and Gajeel just stood there looking at you, not saying a word, you hadn’t realized he was there. After about another 5 minutes of seeing your almost naked body Gajeel just walked over and pulled the towel, you let out a gasp and you turn around and see him smirk, “YOU PERVERT GET OUTTA HERE”, “nah it kinda pisses me off that weren’t dancing to me singing”, he said bending down to kiss your cheek, while you were doing everything in your power to get your towel back but this metal head was preventing that from happening. He moved from your cheek to your lips and…(its up to you, end it the way you like)

A/N: lmfao love how im soft with rogue and when it came to gajeel and sting- also pls dont take me calling them mf and bitch or metal head or iron chomping machine, seriously, and maybe part 3 will come out tomorrow idk maybe, i dont post on weekends so there's a chance I might not post, but I think I'll go with Erik, Jellal and Mystogan, but I feel like jellal and myst are gonna be the exact same so maybe Erik, Jellal and Freed or Bickslow maybe, also do y'all want Lyon and Hibiki imagines, i could also add Ichiya👀 jk theres no way im adding him, but tell me if y'all want Lyon and Hibiki, or maybe Rufus and Olga as well. OMG THIS A/N IS PROBABLY LONGER THAN THE IMAGINE ANYWAYS THANKS FOR READING AND STAY SAFE I LOVE YOU ALL. ALSO IM LITERALLY READING KATSUKI BAKUGO SMUT ALTHOUGH I HAVENT WATCHED MY HERO ACADEMIA, help