#ruffling feathers happy stimming

[lesbian-sunshim]

see art up to the day before or leave a tip!

rare pairs for your consideration - princess cadance x cheerilee

happy heart's and hooves day!

[unwilling-souls-if]

How would the ROs react to a very expressive MC that emotes A LOT with their wings? (in a sort of “talking with their hands” kind of way/happy stimming)

The image of MC swinging their wings around is both cute and hilarious to me idk why 😭 I can see some MCs accidentally hitting someone in the face while being really excited--

Xander: He doesn't have much control over his wings, especially now they're burned up. He would feel a bit disjointed at first to see MC being so comfortable with this part of them while he struggles so much, but he is glad they are. He might reach out to their wings while he's distracted, lightly ruffling the feathers to calm himself.

Charlotte: They think it's cool and is always a bit fascinated by how they move. They try very hard to focus on what MC is saying or doing beside it, though. Also, it's fun because Charlotte often talks with their hands or like tap them together or on surfaces, so they're a bit happy it's a shared trait with MC, somewhat.

Dione: I don't think Dione would react much, in fact. She would notice obivously, but to her it's nothing but a proof that MC is less "rigid" than she is. Dione is always very in control, unmoving like a statue. Maybe it would soothe her to see MC use their wings in a relaxing way.

Perceval: Xe enjoy watching MC's wings flutter and move around, but xe's would also be conscious of how maximalist and cluttered their office is. With each movement papers fly around and trinkets tilt dangerously towards the ground. Xe'd clean up a bit to make sure MC doesn't feel bad if something accidentally fall over.

Crescent: Crescent can't help the smile widening over their lips while they listen to MC talking and the way their wings respond to their feelings. Their eyes follow up and down and when MC calls them out for being distracted, they just laugh and apologise, but they still snicker inwardly about how cute it is.

Thank you for the ask :) <3

[sunyandmony]

Original post :D

6. Glamrock-ify a FNAF 2 animatronic

Chosen (victim) animatronic:

Marionette/Puppet! :>

Everyone heard the news pretty quickly: A new band member was just about to join them! Freddy was ecstatic to meet whoever it may be, and so was Chica. Roxanne on the other hand didn't care much as long as the new member wouldn't bother her at all. Monty on the other hand was outright ridiculous, saying how they don't need another member given they have Bonnie too, why have another one?

Freddy gave Monty a lecture and upon their names shouted, everyone turned their attention to a technician walking over to them, a thin and impossibly tall animatronic following behind them.

Said animatronic had a permanent smile, just like Sun and Moon's old model, except it seems they didn't have teeth, and had paint alike tears stroking down from their eyes to over their lips. They had purple, puffed cheeks and a adorning bow around their neck, a bell jingling, sewn on said bow.

As for their outfit? It fit them almost perfectly! They had a small cape draped over their shoulder, seemingly black with white, stripped lines on the outside and inside completely black filled with shining stars, all of it held by the bow together. A short skirt, alike Sun's tutu, lined up their waist and down until it reached just down enough over their knees, their chest covered with transparent clothing, which was glittery.

The skirt had adoring stars on it on a black, night sky and they had even sleeves! Something no one else seemed to have, and it was obvious that they enjoyed it, given how it fit in just as well, ruffles at their wrists to keep it on, it was just the slightest bit transparent in the light, but nonetheless fitting in with the outfit.

Along their thighs and down wasn't much to see, except some more adoring fit-in carved in symbols. One could say they were tattoos or even drawings from the kiddos, but it was known they never interacted with children, not yet. One one leg were bunnies and small feathers, on the other were stars and hats, each symbolizing one of the glamroccks.

Puppet had two matching earrings, star(✧) shaped once more, swaying along with their movements and shining in the dim light of the evening from the outside Sun slowly setting over the horizon.

Puppet rubbed the back of their neck awkwardly in the silence, seeing as everyone stared. "Now, guys, they're new to all of this, so I expect you all to treat them nicely, introduce them to everything and we'll be back in about a week with a position and room for them!" The technician smiled, genuinely and then scrambled off, giving all of the glamroccks some space to look properly at Puppet.

Monty was left speechless, Roxanne was a bit jealous and Chica was stimming in place happily. Freddy on the other hand looked almost too happy for his own sake, and then the glamroccks introduced themselves to Puppet, who introduced themselves back and they immediately got along, well, almost with everyone, Monty still wouldn't talk much, just like he was towards Bonnie when he first came in, but Freddy had hope he and Puppet would get along sooner or later.

[transcognizi]

Hi its the raph-has-tics person. I thought you seemed interested so. Raph tends to mask her tics but when she gets overwhlemed/anxious they get *alot* worse, and the others have kinda picked up on this so sometimes they will do little thhings to distract her from the stresser or she herself will just,, walk around in circles because it calms her down to move around as much and stuff. She also stims !! and such so,, sciencey stuff makes her do the lil flappy hands and bouncy bounces :)

THIS IS CANON BECAUSE I ALSO WALK IN CIRCLES AS AN ANXIOUS STIM and as a happy one sometimes as well!

Another recommendation: Wing flutters! Sometimes, you just have to ruffle your own 'feathers.' Shake things around a bit. Listen to the metal jingle.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Wing stim toys for neurodivergent avians? Like, maybe not the bugs with more fragile wings, but like things to ruffle feathers against or fold scaled wings over with different textures. AKA: How would I keep myself from hitting people with my happy flap-flap since I already have flappy hands

There’s infinite rings for bats that they can fidget with with their dewclaws!

Also finger traps for bats as well that they can put their dewclaws in and play with!

Silicone brushes are LOVED by neurodivergent birds because they’re so much more pleasing on their feathers than regular brushes

Chew toys for bats and dragons

Tying heavy objects to wings

Weaving beads to wings to play with

Using weighted blankets to replicate the feeling of wings around yourself (specifically useful for avians without a flock)

Heated weighted blankets to do the same as the above point, but more to replicate a mother avian’s wings (very useful for those touch starved avians)

Special markers used to write/draw on scales with for dragons

Stim glue/plaster to stick to dragon and bat wings and then peel off once dried

Bats using their echolocation for those good vibrations

Clicking claws on surfaces!!!

Bats, birds, and dragons mimicking sound!! Bats squeaking!! Birds chirping and squawking and cawing!! Dragons growling and rumbling!!

Moths playing with their chest/arm fluff

Bats listening to ASMR for those good ear tingles

Dragons could use their frills and flap them open and closed or up and down real fast kinda like a hummingbird’s wings

Also birds do the same with their crest feathers!!

Blinking second eyelids as a stim

Insects buzzing their wings for the soft humming sound

Dragons rubbing their hands over their horns

Bats winging their ears

Insects unfurling their antennae

Butterflies/moths spinning some silk around themselves and then picking it off

Birds getting full-body jitters so they just gotta shake to get all that energy out

Flightless fluttering their wingbuds really fast

Shaking tail feathers

Bird hybrids playing with the extra feathers on their chest

Bat-dragon hybrids knotting their ears in their horns and then trying to get them out

Bats sucking on fingers/objects (based on baby bats sucking on pacifiers)

[fenweak]

2018 pat/jon fics!

In keeping with tradition, here are some of my favorite fics that came out in 2018. Technically, it’s easier to sort through ao3 now to see all these for yourselves, but anyway! i love lists, and i love listing wonderful things so. :3 Do check the list out if you missed out on any and give these authors some love. Happy New Year, all! :D

Canon Divergent

when the clock strikes twelve by crystaljules - T | 6,508 | friends to lovers in new year's eves

Pop Your Corn Like A Champ by mending_fences - E | 2,065 | rookie year pwp

Big Spoon, Little Spoon by aseaofwords - G | 765 | gasp, there's only one bed!

Patrick and the Lucky Potato by Bittersweet - G | 794 | hockey superstitions

In The A.M. by SecondCitySavage - E | 613 | established relationship pwp

I Thought It Was A Floating Door by Mullsandmutts - 3,211 | rookie initiation of sorts

No, I Never Told Lies To You by fourfreedoms - E | 3,033 | celly realizations

The Future Is Bulletproof (the Aftermath Is Secondary) by CitrusVanille - T | 2,422 | marriage proposal

Five Times Jonny’s There to Back Patrick up (And One Time It’s the Other Way Around) - T | 3,521 | what the tin says

Throwing Rocks at Your Window by Linsky - M | 2,267 | getting together

Into You by hatrickane - E | 4,531 | friends with benefits

Same Old - 1,900 | friends with benefits with angst

This is awkward by writingintothevoid - M | 2,244 | masturbation getting together

Shitshow by AnythingThrice (WIP) - E | 16,297 and counting | relationship negotiations, porn with feelings

Hockey House by aseaofwords - M | 20,476 | pat helps jonny raise a baby

The Scars That Words Have Carved by Linsky - E | 15,964 | soulmates AU

A How-To Guide for Idiots in Love by lucky1  (WIP)- E | 12,462 and counting | Cosmo-based wooing

Transverse Velocity by fourfreedoms - E | 2,236 | Orbital Resonance h/c timestamp

A Certainty I Envy by hatrickane - E | 15,015 | time travel, friends to lovers

Eyes on the Horizon by heartstrings - E | 35,380 | future fic

Baby One More Time by fourfreedoms, sorrylatenew - E | 7,981 | first time, internalized homophobia

a bulletproof bond by thirteentorafters - T | 1,791 | summer fluff

Beg for it by Clever_grrl - E | 1,524 | pwp

running across the meadow by ishybishy - E | 2,219 | fluff and angst and smut

nobody does it like juliette by thirteentorafters - T | 4,323 | established relationship plus dogs!

Bruises on My Knees for You by Linsky - T | 2,529 | getting together

On This Day (February 27, 2018) by AnythingThrice - T | 2,191 | angsty introspection

Fortune Says by artanis_aman - E | 63,360 | BDSM pwp

Light by Bittersweet - G | 283 | short domestic fluff

I'mma need two hands - E | 1,563 | pwp

The One with the Sex Bet by Linsky - E | 11,621 | friends with benefits to lovers

Don't Forget To Breathe by fourfreedoms - E | 13,513 | friends with benefits

For Science by Linsky - M | 2,600 | first time

Light as a Feather by WolvesoftheBlueMist - T | 1,595 | marriage proposal

finished, yet by thirteentorafters - T | 1,426 | grief over death

Project: Thanksgiving by windsthatwhisper - G | 1535 | established relationship fluff

Streets of Chicago by TheNorthRemembers - E | 79,749 | h/c, friends to lovers

Operation: Christmas Gift by windsthatwhisper - G | 1,166 | future fic

There's a Ghost in My Home (And It Just Won't Go) by crankyrage - T | 11,616 | depression

I'll Be Your Detonator by CitrusVanille - M | 17,645 | marriage of convenience

Shawty With You by allthebros  - E | 5,279 | 5 + 1 mistletoe kisses

we live in the memories(of the season of light) - 1,437 | holiday season h/c

On the right side of too much by Sail_On - 4,518 | established relationship pwp

AUs

Fathoms Above by aseaofwords - T | 14,451 | mermaid!jonny

Muscle Stim by sahiya - E | 7,672 | physical therapist!jonny

Make You Crazy Over My Touch by liveinfury - E | 26,757 | porn star!jonny, fluffer!pat

Ignite My Fire, Object Of My Desire by ThalassicThedes - 6,939 | college theater acting au

it's only you and me by crystaljules - T | 2,489 | college au angst

All It Ever Was by hatrickane - E | 8,249 | fraternity AU

Let's Ride The Vibrations by FallingOutOfTouch - T | 10,303 | barista!patrick

a love to burn by peeks - E | 2,916 | college au pwp

Who Knew by themistrollsin - G | 2,434 | college AU

soft hands by Caivallon - E | 10,337 | ballet-dancer-turned student!pat, hotelier!jonny

forever only by gasmsinc - E | 3,621 | 1940s established relationship AU

(Shut Up and) Sing It With Me by CitrusVanille - T | 6,152 | model!jonny, followed by

Let Me See Your Jazz Hands by CitrusVanille - T | 2,669 | established relationship model!jonny

Little Demon Goes To College by fourfreedoms - E | 2,423 | established relationship installment of the Accepted Practice series!

bonnie and clyde by gasmsinc - E | 3,576 | 1920s mob AU

The Future Is Ours To Seize by PensToTheEnd - E | 27,878 | former rentboy pat au, established relationship

the road less traveled by thundersquall - E | 12,374 | farmer!jonny

Between the Pipes by sorrylatenew - E | 4,206 | a/b/o

Eternal Ice by NightfireRed - G | 9,119 | regular office guys AU

broadcast by Pinkmanite - E | 3,250 | cam guy!pat, established relationship

The Full Monty by CoffeeKristin (WIP)- E | 22,849 | professional Dom!jonny

trace your path between the stars by thundersquall - E | 15,859 | space military a/b/o!

One Wedding Too Many by hockeyhawk - M | 5,850 | four weddings and a funeral AU

I'm asleep dreaming that I'm awake wondering if I'm dreaming (and it’s the best dream I ever had) by Caivallon - G | 1,162 | Ladyhawke AU

Ashes, Poison, and Thorns: a fairytale by allthebros - T | 1,950 | Cinderella AU

In Every Corner by hatrickane - E | 7,518 | Miss Congeniality AU

look me in the face (hold my gaze) by Pinkmanite - T | 9,296 | CMBYN AU

we're never done with killing time by liveinfury - T | 6,026 | soulmates au

Handsome, Clever and Rich by CoffeeKristin - T | 12,017 | Edwardian Period obliviousness

Hard liquor with a bit of intellect by huntersandangels - G | 5,745 | drunk texting proposals

Soothing ruffles feathers by candy_belle - M | 2,022 | wingfic!

Drown me sweetly by Caivallon - M | 1,476 | doctor!jon, mer!pat

Greenhouse Effect by allthebros - M | 1,888 | fuckbuddy realizations

Got Your Back by Prialee (WIP)- T | 39,768 | friends to lovers, 50/50 AU

That Feeling When by fourfreedoms - E | 4,612 | military AU

immigrant song by gasmsinc - E | 4,338 | 1988 is thorki

No Capes by sorrylatenew - T | 3,797 | The Incredibles AU!

Summer Changes by CoffeeKristin - G | 1,272 | summer camp love

Expected Result timestamp by hatrickane - E | established relationship

If you like pina coladas by CoffeeKristin - T | 2,621 | meet cute in a Jimmy Buffett concert

Somebody To Love by ThalassicThedes - 7,852 | 1960s AU, first time

efficacy by thirteentorafters - M | 12,014 | rookie year mpreg

God Only Knows by Linsky - E | 26,512 | mormon!jonny

The Care and Keeping of Your Kitten by Celly1995 - T | 5,564 | kitten kaner!

A Little Nip in the Air by Celly1995 - E | 12,030 | kitten!kaner tries catnip

Tell the Stars I'm Coming Home by allthebros (WIP) - E | 15,817 and counting | apocalypse angst

You gave me home and I lost myself by Caivallon - E | 4,823 | coffee shop in Thailand AU

A Healthy Dose of Vitamin Sea by Celly1995 - E | 16,137 | established relationship, part of the kazer dick cake fic of shame and glory series

Bigger on the Inside by Linsky - E | 25,671 | doctor who fusion

take a walk on the wild side by tazernkaner - T | 3,045 | college frat party AU

You Know I Dreamed About You by kayclandestine - M | 31,942 | they meet at a Hawks convention AU

We don't pray for love by runphoebe - E | 2,912 | HOT prequel to an angsty, unhealthy relationship fic Gonna Bite Your Feelings Out

Forever & Always, My Baby You'll Be by windsthatwhisper - G | 1,259 | kidfic

the shape of you by thundersquall - E | 15,962 | college au, always a girl!pat

Just A Spark by heartstrings - E | 19,751 | college au, magical realism

Every Little Thing He Does (is magic) by jezziejay - M | 65,459 | police chief!pat, witch!jonny, bonus little magic girls and a faithful doggo

bulletproof by thirteentorafters - M | 2,456 | Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU

Fearless child, broken boy (Tell me what it’s like to burn) by Caivallon - T | 1,359 | Hunger Games AU

Ricochet by heartstrings (WIP) - E | 40,075 and counting | partners in crime angst

i think of you in colors by toewsin (haroldslouis) - E | 24,893 | figure skating coach!pat, hockey coach!jon, Shattuck AU

Black Sunflowers by windsthatwhisper - E | 23,360 | mob boss!pat

We've Waited for the Calling by allthebros - E | 23,125 | small town horror au. love and magic and monsters!

Irreplaceable - M | 23,631 | first time, tattoo-related shenanigans

Son of a Preacher Man by PensToTheEnd - M | 22,432 | future priest!jon, homeless!pat

Téméraire by Pinkmanite - E | 24,531 | spy AU, angst with a happy ending

sugar, we're going down swinging by thundersquall - E | 59,112 | baker!pat, hotelier!jonny

Something Uniquely Him by hatrickane - E | 13,838 | a/b/o, age difference

No, It's Not A Secret by SimoneClouseau - E | 13,825 | college au, always a girl!jonny, size kink

Keep the fucking lights on by runphoebe - E | 8,661 | not hockey players, daddy kink, established relationship

You Turned My Head by hockeyhawk - E | 11,072 | incubus jonny

More Than Who We Are by amoergosum - E | 14,548 | trainer dietitian!jonny

Le Moose-bouche by AbschaumNo1 - T | 2,717 | established relationship, restaurant au

Can You Lyft Me Up? by Mullsandmutts - G | 27,912 | single dad!pat, meet cute

The Boy who kissed the Moon by Caivallon - M | 71,771 | childhood friends falling in love

Sweet Like Candy Kanes by sasha_annes - T | 21,060 | candy shop AU

your soul cries out (our hands are tied) by thirteentorafters - E | 18,313 | soul bonds

i know you are (but what am i) by booktubelover7 - T | 57,984 | always a girl!pat, high school AU

The Reality of Things by windsthatwhisper (WIP) - E | 8,232 | french teacher!jonny

a song someone sings by gasmsinc - E | 45,751 | anastasia au 

[impossible-rat-babies]

Some timeline stuff for Darva:

9:42—Corphyeus is defeated and the Breach is sealed again; Thedas begins to recover. Darva attends Divine Victoria’s coronation ceremony, giving a speech to urge Thedas to work together to achieve lasting change. Work immediately begins on abolishing the Circle of Magi and other reform action is taken. Due to Victoria establishing and endorsing the Inquisition, Darva helps to quell the chaos with Victoria’s reforms. Darva attends many of the meetings, helping to urge unity within the Chantry.

It is also during this time that Dorian starts his visits back to Tevinter, but not before him and Darva are married in a quiet ceremony.

However, late in the year that the situation grows urgent in the Deep Roads and Darva is pulled away from the politics to attend to the chaos. He resolves the issues threatening the Lyrium mines and much of the information gathered is shared between the Inquisition, The University of Orlais and Orzammar’s Shaprate.

He returns to Orlais to continue to oversee changes within the Chantry and within Orlais. He works closely with Briala and Fisk to ensure real change will come to the elves of Orlais. Drafts begin in Darva’s own writing to grant the elves the Dales once again as their homeland.

He also works closely with the free Mages as they work to reestablish their College of Enchanters as a place for education and safety for the Mages.

Dorian visits several times, but sadly both their duties keep them apart. They take the time they can.

The Mark is stable, having only progressed up to Darva’s forearm following sealing the Breach yet again.

(Darva grows his hair out during this time and it looks mainly like an organized mess until it looks like a shaggy mess)

9:43—Darva spends the new year in the Grand Apartments in the Grand Catherdral with Dorian. However, the reprieve doesn’t last long as Dorian is yet called away to Tevinter again and Darva is further engrossed in his duties.

Meetings continue to do away with the Circle of Magi. Darva encourages Cullen to think of what should become of the Templars if they are no longer needed.

The College of Enchanters becomes a fully solidified organization and many of the Mages in the Inquisition leave to join the College. However, some still remain within the Inquisition, still happy to serve.

The final drafts of the Reclamation of the Dales are written, but are shelved due to the upheaval still occurring within the Chantry. Rumors about what will happen to the Inquisition start to make the rounds.

Dorian and Darva spend several weeks together in a small Chateau near the Tevinter border on vacation.

Late in the year, more news arrives out of the Frostback Basin and he is called out yet again to investigate. Inquisitor Ameridan’s resting place is discovered and Hakkon is slain. Darva spreads word that Ameridan was a Dalish elf and the descendants of him are given reparations and his heirlooms—such as his staff—are given to the clan.

Darva returns to Orlais as questions of what will happen to Inquisition grow louder and less ignorable. Darva relocates back to Skyhold, but Fisk remains his contact within the Chantry and Orlais as a whole.

After the events in the Frostback Basin, Darva’s Mark grows up to his elbow and more of his hand is covered in the green light. His fingers constantly tingle and he takes to stimming with his left hand to keep feeling in his fingers.

9:44—Darva spends New Years in Skyhold with Dorian and many of the other companions.

Several months later, the demands for something to be done with the Inquisition grow too loud and the Exalted Council is called. The Qunari plot is revealed and is sabotaged by Darva; Solas’s true identity and plans are revealed. Darva loses his arm above the elbow to save his life.

He spends months recovering from his injuries in the Grand Apartments in Halamshiral. Much of his time is dedicated to disbanding the Inquisition on paper and organizing where everything will be going.

Dorian makes only a few trips back to Tevinter during his recovery.

After his recovery, he moves to Kirkwall to take his position as Comte. He works closely with Wycome, making sure that what happened to his clan will never happen again.

However, he dangerously relapses during this time and he burns the skin around his face in a desperate attempt to rid himself of his tattoos. He loses his left eye and is left with permenant and dramatic scars across his face and neck.

The disbanding of the Inquisition is finalized in the last months of the year and he makes plans to relocate to Tevinter to be closer to Dorian and hopefully construct a plan to stop Solas.

9:45—Darva relocates to Tevinter in the spring and works closely with Dorian and Mae’s Lucerni party to work towards enacting change within the Imperium. It is during this time that Darva goes back into assassin work; he keeps a close eye on the Lucerni party, only acting when others make their moves against them.

Dorian and Darva are incredibly happy despite the drastic changes. A much larger wedding affair is thrown in the summertime.

9:46—Divine Victoria calls upon Darva with the proposition of becoming her Left Hand. It is several months before Darva responds and he takes on the duties of being Left Hand of the Divine. He relocates to Orlais yet again and extends Victoria’s reach beyond the Chantry walls, helping to reenforce her new decrees.

The draft on the Reclamation of the Dales is finalized due to Darva’s reappearance in the South and the mostly calmed situation within the Empire.

Along with Fisk and Briala, and numerous others, the proposal is taken to Empress Celene. It is many months before they hear the groundbreaking news: the Dales would be returned to the elves and an alliance between Orlais and the Dales would be created. Fisk spends much of zir time organizing on working on such drastic change along with soothing the heavily ruffled feathers of the nobles.

Divine Victoria declares her support of the Dales, once again throwing the Chantry into chaos. Darva works closely with her to soothe tensions and promote continued peace.

[brodymeetsworld]

To be better than yesterday.

There was a time when ‘family outings’ were super stressful, no matter where we had to go or even the simplest things to do. Just kidding, its still pretty stressful, but I suppose you could say I’m becoming more seasoned to it my fourth year into motherhood. If your a parent with one child, two children, or more (goodness, I praise you if you have more than two) you know what I’m talking about. There is nothing quite like having to hold your private business (we live 30 minutes to an hour to civilization) until the perfect opportunity to take, in my case two small children, into a public bathroom. First, parking the car the closest to a buggy holder as possible, unbuckling, putting on jackets, sometimes even socks and shoes too. You have to pray once you get inside you find a stall big enough to hold the three of you, Lord willing clean enough because the boys have to do everything themselves (during these what seems like no end in sight potty training days) just to finally have a turn and pray that the boys don’ t crawl under the stall and run out the door, or unlock the door and let the world in to see. Stressful.

Today was different though. Today the boys and I went inside Walmart to do our shopping because well, frankly I’ve been slacking lately, and haven’t been utilizing the grocery pick up app nearly as often as I use too. I took a chance and went inside with both boys. It had been raining on and off all day so the normal ‘toddler’ cart that I use to utilize my space and keep both boys safe were left outside and wet. So I used a normal cart, placed Bentley (3) in the top seat, and Brody (4) in the basket. I knew I could contain both boys for a while this way and I didn’t think I needed much so we wouldn’t need a lot of space. 

We head straight for the bathroom, I’m hustling at this point. I see a yellow cart standing the way of the Women’s Restroom. “Fantastic“ I thought, The next shop down is returns, I had two shirts I needed to exchange from Christmas for my husband, there was one person in line. “YES! I have to go do this now or I’ll have to endure a line of people later”, I quickly did my return, and received my $19.88 back on a gift card, and I didn’t hear a single peep out of either one of my boys, this is going great. We headed to the clear back of the store where the bathrooms are located near electronics. Next, the grocery section of the store. We went down every single aisle on the way up and still had to go back again through a few for the things we forgot. The cart started to get full so I asked Brody is he would like to get out and help mommy push the cart, he immediately jumped up and said “help mommy YES!” with his ever so sweet smile. 

Now we’ve practiced together before in the store Brody helping me push the cart, but without fail there would usually be a casualty of some sort by the end. Not always by him I should add, his little brother is quite mischievous and well a 3 year old boy who likes to test his mama. Today was different though. Today, Brody not only helped me pushed the cart, he helped me put things into the cart. He only complained a little when it came to wanting the Oreo cookie from a Lunchable in the cooler section that we were not purchasing, we moved on quickly and swiftly. I knew we were pushing our limits at this point, so I thought quickly of what was left on my list on the way to the check out line.

We get to check out, I look down at my cart, see that I defiantly need a conveyer belt, but I am all about self check out since it was well invented. Even more so now that they have the option with a nice long conveyer belt for me to unload huge haul of groceries. I don’t know if its because my second job in high school was at our small town grocery store in Franklin, West Virginia, where I was a teller, but like everyone else, watched a video on how to properly bag a neighbors groceries, and even still offer the option of “paper or plastic?” So still to this day, I like my groceries bagged the “proper” way and maybe its a control thing too, I don’t know, but I enjoy all the effort it takes for me to do it this way. 

I have almost all of my groceries out of the cart onto the belt with help from (to my surprise) Brody. At this point, I am grinning ear to ear beaming with pride, because not only have I avoided a meltdown or run away from either boys, but we are almost to the end, and for the first time my son is eager to help me, and learn! He even started taking groceries at one point and scanning them for me. I was in awe, awe in how far my sweet child has come and grown. Now if you know Brody, you know he is a very loud child. He likes to yell, jabble random words, and jump up and down. Not all the time of course, but it is a part of his ‘stimming’ process. If you ever see him doing this please know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with him in those moments. He is happy, he is safe, and he isn't harming a soul around him. Brody started doing his stimming, I paid no attention to it, I’ve seen it a million times now, and I still had food to scan, bag and pay for so I was trying to focus as much as a mother can in those moments. 

Then all of a sudden I heard it, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. An older man on the other side of us at self check out with his wife beside him in a wheel chair yelled “SHUT UP KID!” I stood there in shock. I waited for his eyes to meet mine because clearly if you are going to yell at a small child that is not yours, then you at least have the courage to make eye contact with their mother. He glances at me, still scanning his items. I said “Excuse me? is he somehow harming you?”, the man quickly broke eye contact with me and kept scanning his items. His wife somehow seemed oblivious to the entire ordeal. I stood there, still shocked. I glanced at Brody, he doesn’t seem phased by the comment, I doubt if he even heard it, but I did. I looked around me, and nobody was around. I felt so alone. I started to pray, “God, Am I loosing it?”, “Please keep me from going crazy” I started to feel the tears well up inside my eyes. I knew my cheeks had to be turning three shades of red as they always do, they have my whole life, I can’t stop it. I rushed to quickly get through my order, watching the older couple the whole time, wanting to follow them, wanting to “give him a piece of my mind.” I would have said, “I pray that if you are ever so lucky to have a grandchild with Autism one day, that you treat them with the respect and dignity everyone deserves.”

But I didn’t. I didn’t cause a scene in the store, even though it crossed my mind. I didn’t follow them into the parking lot. Truth is, my gift card wouldn’t run through from earlier so I had to get help from an associate of the store. So by the time that was over, they were long gone.

I had tears streaming down my face as I drove the hour drive home. I couldn’t help but replay in my head over and over again the scenario that just happened in the store. I’m pretty good at holding back my tears in front of my boys, so I seem to find time to silently sob while driving. I can usually keep the boys occupied with happy meals or something else so they don’t notice mommy being sad. This isn’t the first time we’ve encountered, we’ll say, less educated others that don’t understand autism, or know it when they see it. 

We went to a BBQ once last year at the beginning of summer, before the pools were even open. We went for a walk right by a pool that was still closed for the season. Brody flipped his lid. He had a complete meltdown that led to me carrying him back up the hill to the BBQ with Bentley in tow. We went to a quiet room where I calmed him down and gave him his avengers doll set to play. He was content and I could finally breathe again. Our close friend walked in the room, seemed annoyed, and asked what was wrong? I told her what happened and that this is Brody, we are all still learning to adjust on how to best help him. Her reply back to me was “Umm, Sorry the pool was closed, I told you guys that only the waterpark was open.” I stood there in shock, I just made a post publicily announcing for all of our family and friends to see on facebook basically ‘coming out’ with brodys diagnosis of Autism, but maybe she missed it? Somehow?” I shrugged it off, made Brody as comfortable as possible, but as the hours went on it was harder.

 If your a parent of two children under three you have to have eyes in the back of your head all the time, and I mean all the time. This was the same BBQ Bentley decided it was a good idea to take a elevator ride all by himself walking past 10 adults to the elevator at the age of 2 while I was catching Brody going in the opposite direction. I remember running through the condo yelling, “Where’s Bentley?! did you see him? for all of the adults to say, “yeah he went that way a few minutes ago” pointing out the condo door. By the time I got to the elevator with Brody, I hear a woman's voice calling the elevator operator informing them a small boy was on the elevator when they got on. I was so thankful he was still there, he was safe, and I wanted to die of embarrassment all at the same time. When I got back to the condo, feathers a little ruffled, Brody could sense how stressed out I was, he started to cry. He cried and cried and there was nothing I could do to calm him down. I tried all my tricks. I felt defeated and exhausted. I guess one of the older women heard enough and asked me “What’s wrong with him? is he spoiled?” I held back my tears and said “No, actually he has Autism. So large crowds of unfamiliar faces can be overwhelming for him and because he is non verbal too, this is his way of communicating with me. I gathered our belongings and left, we left without eating or saying goodbye. We hit the mcdonalds drive through as I silently cried again.

I thought I prepared myself well for these moments. I never wanted to have a double whammy kind of day like that again. So I decided to spread awareness. I bought Autism Awareness puzzle piece earrings to wear while were in public to lessen the stares, and they worked for the most part. There was still stares of course. When you have a non verbal child, you learn to ready body language and facial expressions really well, you can’ t help but read everyone else around you too. The stares I get most of the time now are loving stares. Stares of wanting to help me, but not sure how. Those are stares I’m ok with, and have even learned to ask for their help sometimes too. I hoped in wearing the signature puzzle pieces that people would be more understanding and patient with our family, and for the most part people are, especially in our little community of Pendleton County. 

But I was reminded again today that ignorance and hate still exist, and I won’t always be able to prevent it from happening. What I learned is I can choose what I do in that moment, and choose wisely for my children's sake. How I react to others in these moments is crucial to their development. They’re still too young to notice these incidents, so I still have time to critique myself, although I think I did a pretty good job of controlling myself today. I can always improve. That's the end game after all right? To be better than yesterday? So for now, I’ll probably practice a few “come back” lines in the mirror, and maybe make some cards to spread awareness and remind people to always be kind. 

#autismawareness #autismacceptance #brodyryland

[estherroberts]

affection

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​ , @podcastmecaptain, and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post.

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

golly gosh are sally and anthony SO affectionate??

they are so cuddly and touchy all the god damn time, they get accused of being a couple Constantly because of this

bear hugs, shoulder rides, endless friendly casual arm grabs and hand touches

anthony sometimes straightens sally’s glasses on her face for her

once anthony hits his growth spurt and gets Tol, sally’s just like MORE TO HUG!! and does her best to squish the air out of him even though her arms hardly go all the way around anymore

he squeaks

she used to call him The Squeaky Toy

he was extremely miffed

she makes a point of standing on tiptoe to ruffle his hair

or to do anything to him, really

tippie toe to argue

tippie toe to hug

tippie toe for serious conversations

tippie toe to shove a cookie in his mouth to shut him up

she shoves a lot of cookies in his mouth

when they sit on the couch together sally leans on him completely

just

flop

helen has her head in his lap at the same time and anthony’s just like :D

he’s just so delighted to be surrounded by and buried in his favorite people

he’ll lean back and get this big stupid smile and stop talking because he’s just overflowing with this settled quiet joy

anthony is not used to saying i love you, he’s not sure when it’s okay to start doing that, platonically or not, but once he figured out it’s chill he won’t STOP

sally is very casual about it and puts a lot of energy into it

helen says it less often but with far heavier meaning in her tone

helen is more likely to initiate affectionate contact with anthony than he is, he’s still pretty in awe of her and sometimes forgets that that’s a thing he’s allowed to do

(he also was not raised in an affectionate place so every time he’s like! oh! oh my god? wow. wow.)

soft cheek caresses, gently stroking a hand across his shoulders and massaging his back with her thumb, clasping the back of his neck, gathering him into a loving embrace with both arms

she jokingly smacks him on the chest whenever she remembers that he has more tits than she does

(she jokingly got him a bra for christmas and he almost dropped it in the fireplace)

sometimes she brushes his shoulders and smiles at him and says

“i’m not lovingly caressing you, i’m cleaning off all your dust, you old book”

“aha.”

“now i’m lovingly caressing you.”

“aha.”

anthony literally melts every time helen does any of these

every time she kisses him he’s pretty sure he dies and is reborn

every time he SEES her he’s pretty sure he IS dead and gone to whatever is upstairs

sometimes anthony lays a hand gently on helen’s shoulder and she just smiles at him and leans into the touch

he’ll do her nails for her too

and make her ginger tea with lemon and honey before her performances

if he’s retreating into himself or his work she’ll confront him about it. that’s a form of caring too

he forgets that matters

he was hyper focused on a mostly unimportant paper once and she shoved ice cubes down his shirtfront

nothing to wake you up into noticing you’re unhealthily fixated like frozen tiddies

lots more under the readmore! 

anthony is very tol and excellent for leaning on and helen takes full advantage of that fact

she’ll tuck her head under his chin and smile up at him

once in awhile, quentin leans on him, too. he and anthony go way back and they’ve both found themselves in the middle of this lovely mess of an affectionate squad, so hey why not cuddle a bit while helen and june are off having gal pal time

there’s a lot of reading with heads on shoulders, or hand holding between chairs

most people don’t Get quentin and june. he’s so chill and she’s so not. but they have a mostly inscrutable understanding.

quentin’s one of the few people permitted to make casual physical contact with her without getting their arm ripped off. in fact, june is 50% less likely to rip any arms off when he’s around. she’s not any less toothy, but a little less snarly.

quentin shows affection by interest in what you’re doing and by giving you food

june gets the world’s best protein shakes off of him

june occasionally LITERALLY tugs on pigtails to show affection

one time jack actually got her to laugh and she smacked his arm at 45% strength while cackling and he bruised

she makes faces at her friends from across the room and if they make faces back she smiles really big and happy

and it’s honestly so pure? who knew this is what it took

jack, bridget, and sally are the only ones esther feels 100% comfy with 98% of the time

jack wins because he’s known her the longest and she has the most dirt on him

bridget wins because she’s esther’s Person

it takes them a little bit to feel like they can be publicly affectionate with each other

but they are starting to now

they do little things, like chin grabs and cheek kisses and tucking each other’s hair behind their ears and it’s all soft and gentle and tentative, and

gosh, holding hands, they hold hands everywhere

and they say “i love you” as a hello and a goodbye and sometimes a lot in the middle too

and lastly, sally wins bc she’s floppy and her hugs are Safe and Protective and Good

one time anthony bear hugged esther and it was out of nowhere and it freaked her out, now he asks before hugging her every single time

and his feelings don’t get hurt when she says no, but it makes her happy that he asks so she doesn’t say no often

everyone else started asking after that too

sometimes helen forgets but she’s soft so esther’s ok with it

helen is Softe and hugging her is like snuggling a dove

june and helen put their legs on each other all the time and blow kisses at each other constantly

they make a really big deal about catching the airborne kisses and will occasionally pretend to drop the kiss for comedic relief

june ‘threw it’ in a blender once and turned it on, helen was so mock upset that june immediately tackle hugged her and peppered her in kisses until helen forgave her

they have a long standing tradition of drinking tea every sunday, complete with shit-talking and downton abbey reruns  

after they start dating these sundays also involve lots of kissing, and way more cuddling  

bridget plays with everyone in the gang’s hands while she talks to them

some people are more receptive to it than others

she doesn’t let this stop her

she also loves holding hands with everyone

(but especially esther)

she leaves books for people as her way of saying i care about this and i care about you, so have it

she writes personalized inscriptions in all of them

jack high fives everyone but sally the hardest and esther with the most accuracy

oh and ESTHER AND JACK DID BALLROOM LESSONS WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE

aND THEY WANTED TO BE PARTNERS SO THEY WHINED UNTIL THE TEACHERS LET JACK LEAD

sometimes they still bust out routines

(like the salsa dancing from earlier)

(for helen and june’s anniversary june took swing lessons from them and took helen out dancing at a jazz club and it was the best thing ever)

one time tiny sally somehow ballroom dips giant anthony

and then helen’s like, sally that was hilarious and good but This is how u do it

and dips him in a full circle before bringing him back up and kissing him on the lips

THE GROUP CHATS

THE TEXTS ARE GOLD

someone will whisper half an inside joke to someone in a class and you’ll hear a forehead hit a desk

the group chat with everyone in it had its title recently changed to

“softe”

because esther is an asshole

jack private messaged her yelling and she was laughing too hard to reply

quentin, somewhere in the distance, touches his fingers lightly to his lips and looks off toward the horizon

bless his heart.

previously it was called The Bin of Stim & Sin

the girlfriends have their own chat called

HAROLD,

a positive outcome of the esther and bridget and june kissing fiasco (and the “oh god you babies let me help you with your hair” that followed)

it’s a no play day in orchestra and esther is tired and rests her head on june’s shoulder

and june is like, !!!! internally bc, it’s esther and she doesn’t Do shit like this

and june is both honored and a little protective over her

and their fierce viola rivalry is only for fun after that

all of the girls in the gang celebrate galentine’s day by all going out to dinner together

one of the guys, probably jack, complains that it’s unfair that esther and bridget get to spend the 13th AND the 14th together

all of the girls yell at him at once and he never says anything about it again

penny links arms with whoever she walks next to

it gets ridiculous and the gang takes up the whole hallway when they all get in a chain

it’s like that scene from mean girls. eventually someone in the chain makes this connection (june) and someone gets dunked into a trash can (sally)

esther and anthony check each other’s math and draw little shitty stickmen doing weird things on each other’s notes

penny loves feather light touches, light pecks and butterfly kisses, and touching noses

penny’s also very huggy with jack especially

they’re that couple that always has their arms around each other and it’s not even weird they’re honestly just adorable

jack kisses her eyelids and she blushes

she pinches his butt when walking by and doodles absently on his arms

jack gets his hair ruffled by everyone

he complains but it makes him happy

he’s a Shaggy Boy

when he starts getting a little bit of stubble he’s so excited and everyone is so excited for him that they all touch it

quentin braids and unbraids june’s hair lots and it seems to soothe both of them

once sally gets comfortable around someone she kind of. forgets that personal space is a thing, sometimes. she pretty much reaches this comfort level with all of the gang and kind of makes it her mission to make sure nobody is touch-starved

she always backs off and doesn’t take offense when she inevitably oversteps and gets told off tho

she just loves her friends so much and her love pours out through her hands and her arms and her whole body

sometimes someone really needs it though. and she’ll get a Look on her face and open her floodgates of hugging.

actually everyone gets really cuddly when someone’s upset, or in the aftermath. whenever the person is comfortable The Hugs Are Broughteth

everyone stims way more around the ones they’re most comfortable with too

there’s a lab somewhere in the science department where the science part of the gang is theoretically working on projects and stuff, but all of the gang ends up there working on whatever homework or just hanging out

there’s definitely an old but comfy couch there

its worn and green and affectionately referred to as The Log

sometimes they work Too Hard and end up on the couch

there are always fluffy blankets and at least one heavy blanket thrown over the back or arms of the couch

and a couple of squishy pillows

jack and esther end up curling up there next to each other like two sleepy peas in a pod

sally frequently perches on the back of the couch because if she fits, she sits

(she has gotten stuck in high cabinets more than once because of this and had to yell for help from anthony, or june, if she’s around)

(june laughs at her for a long time first)

(anthony is very delicate about it but he’s suppressing chortling)

sometimes sally flops sprawled over the Entire back of the couch and takes up as much space as possible with her tiny body

quentin curls up in one corner of the couch and takes a fuckin well deserved nap with his feet on anthony

who sprawls on the middle cushion of the couch with his long legs sticking way out onto the floor

sally’s arm flops onto him from where she’s passed out on the back of the couch

they’re a big sleepy sciencey pile

one time the girlfriend gang finds them like this

“june! my phone!” helen hisses

june hands it to her so she can snap a photo of the science cuddle pile

(she carries helen’s stuff for her on days that she doesn’t have pockets)

(helen has no earthly attachments and june has a really big purse)

helen and june then squeeze onto the couch between anthony and quentin and cuddle them as well as each other

quentin usually wriggles around a lot during this process and anthony has to pretend he’s not getting his crotch a little bit stomped on

his eye twitches a lot tho

bridget and penny grab some of the pillows and sit on the floor next to the couch together leaning against jack and esther’s legs

esther cups a hand around bridget’s cheek

jack drums his fingers on penny’s scalp, or taps her headband

helen runs a hand through sally’s hair fondly and she mumbles something in her sleep

helen rubs her head till she goes quiet again

she’ll nuzzle someone in her sleep and koala hug whoever is closest

it’s usually anthony

helen sometimes sings quietly until everyone passes out

the teachers have learned not to disturb them.

one of june’s other methods of showing affection is fucking someone up if they so much as prod those she cares about.

she is not afraid of suspension.

also, helen will be very. very. disappointed in you.

they all go quiet and soft eventually

time to sleep