#royale high fit check

[aetherphobia]

That moment when you have to force a cursed halo combo to work simply because they are the only halos you own and you wanna have an excuse to wear them.

(Hal18 + Glitterfrost23)

[zhongrin]

“honey, can you… help adjust my bra straps?”

— how does he react to your silly attempt to fluster him?

◇ characters ◇ zhongli, al haitham, ayato, childe, cyno, kaeya, wanderer, tighnari, diluc, kaveh, xiao

◇ tags ◇ gn pronouns but reader has boobs, fluff, crack, suggestive (al haitham, childe, ayato)

◇ a/n ◇ i have no idea where this idea came from but just take it off my hands thanks

𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

zhongli doesn't even flinch or blink. he merely smiles that mysterious and handsome smile of his, wordlessly standing behind you to calmly adjust the straps; making sure they’re fitted snugly, not too loose but not too tight, just the way he knows you like it.

he finishes with a soft, intimate kiss to the junction of your neck right after, and if he’s feeling risqué you might even feel a little nibble. it seems like the turns have tabled.

at your request, al haitham hums airily and does as asked, checking up on you every time he tightened the straps, to make sure they aren’t digging onto your shoulders. when he finishes, he tells you you look good and he can’t wait to pull them off you later in a matter-of-fact manner before going back to reading his book nonchalantly.

well then. guess you’ve gained an unplanned activity in your schedule today.

childe eyes you with mischief twinkling in his blue eyes, and if he judges that you’re indeed in a playful mood, he’ll slip his hands under your bra to grab your boobs, without any shame whatsoever. he laughs merrily if you protest and try to slap his hands away, but if you do anything borderline scandalous or tease back?

oh, you better be prepared, comrade.

diluc almost splutters in embarrassment, but he somehow barely manages to catch his composure from slipping at the very last moment.

he’s gentle as he fixes the straps, smoothening the stretchy fabric and making sure he’s not hurting you in any way as he adjusts it to your liking. your fiercely blushing lover presses a kiss to your shoulder when he’s done and avoids your eyes when you thank him.

go ahead, push him more, make him break that composure.

did you just try and fluster kaeya? welp, unfortunately for you, his instinct is to retaliate by teasing you to no end.

that is not to say that he doesn’t help, however. he’ll still do it, but you best be prepared for him doing so while whispering sweet nothings into your ear all the while. he chuckles when you tell him it’s enough, and with one last kiss on your cheek he walks away - but not before he lightly snaps one of the straps against your skin; not enough to hurt but just as a playful gesture.

better luck next time, darling.

wanderer rolls his eyes, “do it yourself,” he says with a huff. he can’t blush, but honestly, if he could, he probably would have - because seriously, what kind of stupid request did you just ask him to do??

it’s only when you huff back and threaten him with a hissy “fine then, i’ll just ask someone else.” does he relent.

he does it while grumbling all the while, by the way.

ayato merely chuckles and proceeds to tease you with a snarky “should i get a maid to help you get dressed from now on, dear?”

he ponders for a while as he touches the soft material and a cunning smile spreads across his handsomeness, along with a half-playful, half-serious, “actually, scratch the idea, i’d rather do the putting-on and taking-off myself.”

cyno splutters and chokes on his own spit at the sudden request.

for a moment, he’s utterly baffled; was this a normal request one would commonly ask of a lover? he has no idea, but he could never refuse you anyway, so he nervously does it under your guidance, ever so benignly, as if he’s afraid he’ll somehow hurt you in the process.

tighnari��s reply is as snarky as usual and accompanied by an affectionate roll of his eyes, “alright, your royal highness.”

he plays with the material for a while, trying to gauge your reactions, because he’s almost pretty sure that you don’t need actual help - that you’re just asking to get a rise out of him.

and if he judges that his hunch is correct? well, he’ll still help you, but he might bite you (lovingly) in retaliation.

kaveh can’t help his sappy ass from crooning and giving you an affectionate back hug while praising your ethereal beauty before actually doing the task you require him to do. he’s talking all the while about how pretty your skin is and how he loves seeing it in its most natural state with every discoloration and bumps and freckles and moles and all its perfection. but god forbid the strap was digging into your shoulder and leaving a red mark on your skin, for he would gasp in horror and offer you to buy a better brassiere that would fit you more with his nonexistent money.

it’s okay, he can just uh- sell some of this stuff. like... his rulers! yes. he can use his claymore to measure things, don’t you even worry!

xiao teleports away in embarrassment the first time it happened.

the second time, he freezes in place, eyes wide, cheeks bursting in red, before he teleports away into the wind. again.

the third time around, he reacts similarly, only this time, he’s scowling at you with those blushes on his cheeks instead of running away. in fact, he’s approaching you, and he grumbles a soft “you’re definitely doing this to tease me. no respect for the adepti.” his hand trembles as he helps you, but when you kiss him as thanks he thinks perhaps he wouldn’t mind suffering from embarrassment if you’re going to reward him this way.

© zhongrin | 2023 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @thestarsofenkanomiya | @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @herdrops | @diebischesther | @marina-and-the-memes | @angryhope | @mixed-kester | @shuangxo | @fiannee | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ladylofspades | @sup-zfam | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @nachotrash | @algrimmammon | @sassy-cat-in-town

[clairellie]

STREAMER ELLIE ! HEADCANONS

a/n: i loved writing this so i might actually make a fic on it?!? but not guaranteed.. WE LOVE STREAMER ELLIE!!!

warnings: ellie loves you dearly,

streamer!ellie who literally makes her streams fucking 4 hours long. she won't stop yapping, she's always asking questions and making polls and this and that.

“chat, should we play this game” “oh shit, ... made a new video, chat, should we watch it?”

the chat starts spaming yes’s and no’s. “i cant read allat. its going too fast— pause.” then she makes a poll

speaking of that... streamer!ellie will NOTTT stop saying pause after every little thing. if she doesn't say pause, shes look at the camera with that little smirk she has.

streamer!ellie who easily gets annoyed when they keep saying she sounds “hot” or whatever. she was too nervous to do a face reveal at first but then chat had to hype her tf up.

gf!streamer!ellie who had to hide your identity at first because she wanted to keep the fans from spamming you in the comments about her— but the hiding didn’t even work like chat found out 3 days later…

the reason why is because she kept forgetting to mute or get out of frame when she was speaking you.

but she also started playing random games that she normally wouldn’t play with this “other girl” she met… hm.

like dress to impress, royale high, bloxburg, and others. but okay pretty pink princess!

gf!streamer!ellie who kept on getting bugged about her promise ring.

she was showing her fit (because she does fit checks on stream) and chat would not shut up about the ring they kept spotting.

the next day she went on twitter and the first post she saw was:

“OMG ELLIE IS MARRIED?!?!!?”

she had to tell chat that, 1. its on her left hand, 2. you and her “weren’t in a relationship for that long yet” but its been fucking 1 year ellie. stop lying!!!!! and 3. she wasn’t “ready” even though she kept saying she was gonna marry you any day now.

streamer!ellie who gets BASHED in chat bro.

“what the helllll, oh my god.”

“uhm ellie, those dont match…”

“please tell me ur gf didnt pick that out..”

or when she keeps shooting at the wrong team… like babe those are ur teammates. (me too els..)

“ELLIE WTF ARE U DOING?!”

“can she read..?”

“she MIGHTT be a bit color blind.. 😬😬”

[sunrizef1]

So High School

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader

Warnings: None

Authors Note: This is what the poll was for lol

————————————————

yourusername

📍Miami, Florida

liked by sabrinacarpenter gracieabrams and 2,998,771 others

yourusername Miami, you absolutely rocked tonight!!! Thank you so much, ILY 🤟 💜🖤

load comments…

user1 🤟

user2 I WANNA GET HIM BACK

user3 I WANNA MAKE MAKE HIM RLY JEALOUS

user4 WANNA MAKE HIM FEEL BAD

user5 queen

user6 💜🖤

user7 THE SHOW WAS SO GOOD

user8 it was so fun 😭

user9 my fav

user10 I was in that crowd 🤭

user11 my favourite girl

user12 💜💜💜

user13 she's so pretty 😍

user14 Miami vibes

user15 y'all see that a couple of those f1 drivers were there

user16 which ones???

user15 uhh idk their names but it was the American one and his little friend

user17 Logan and Oscar?! 😭

user18 ahhhh she's so good 🥴

user19 I didn't get to go 😢

sabrinacarpenter it was so good!! 💜

yourusername thank you sab! 🫶

user20 I had so much fun

———————————————

logansargeant added to their story

yourusername

It was so cool to meet you!

Sucked to miss you guys after the show

I'll have to keep up with y'alls races from now on

logansargeant

think we mightve left too soon 😅

we got out fast

Assumed you wouldn't want to talk after the show 😅

yourusername

I would've stayed for y'all haha

I love f1, I was really excited when I got told you guys had tickets

logansargeant

damn now I feel bad 😬

yourusername

Its fine, really!

logansargeant

Let me make it up to you

I'll get you paddock passes

For whatever weekend you're free

yourusername

you don't have to 😅

I'll be okay

logansargeant

I'd love to talk to you again

take the invite

For me 😁

yourusername

Fine 😙

I'll check my schedule and text you 😊

logansargeant

can't wait 🤙

——————————————

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

logansargeant

Where'd you gooooo

yourusername

They're giving me team merch lol

logansargeant

Oscar wants to re-meet you

yourusername

I'll be back in a sec

logansargeant

You better be 🙄

yourusername

You're so dramatic 😒

logansargeant

Rude 😔

————————————————

TWITTER

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍London, United Kingdom

liked by oscarpiastri logansargeant and 6,001,887 others

yourusername I ❤️ London

load comments…

user21 how was the race, queen?

yourusername it was great, double Williams points 🫶💙

user22 she's so cute

user23 WHOS THAT MAN

user24 logie bear???

user25 I know Williams blue converse when I see them

user26 the fit ate

user27 queen 👑

user28 the Aristotle quote lmao???

user29 you know I love a London boy

user30 I don't think that's Logan

user31 delusion manifests itself in a lot of different ways

user32 💙🩵💙

user33 I <3 Logan sargeant

user34 wait who is that

user35 Logan sargeant

user34 and who tf is that

user36 an f1 driver, he went to her concert and she went to his race this weekend

user34 yeahhh I still dk what f1 is but thanks anyway 🫶

user35 I love them so much

user36 Logan crumbs

user37 how did the only two Americans find each other in the very un-american environment lmao

user38 didn't expect to see Aristotle when I swiped

user39 Logan and Oscar liked

————————————————

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

🎵 so high school - Y/N L/N

liked by logansargeant landonorris and 12,008,777 others

yourusername I feel so high school every time I look at you

load comments…

user40 AHHHHHHHH

user41 I love them so much

user42 OH MY GOD HEY LOGAN

user43 lowk Logan jumpscare at the end there

user44 who tf is that blond man

user44 awwww I love him

user45 songs so cute 😭

landonorris WAIT I KNOW HIM

liked by yourusername

user46 no ones ever had me… not like you 🥹🫶

user47 my favourite couple

alexalbon thats my teammate ☝️

yourusername hi Alex. How's lily 🫶

lilymhe im great! 😊 hi y/n, I miss you!

yourusername I miss u 2 lils 💙

user48 I need more Williams x y/n content

user49 royal couple

danielricciardo 🦅🦅🦅

liked by yourusername

user50 IM BETTING ON ALL THREE FOR US TWOOOOO

logansargeant marry, kiss, kill?

yourusername all three

user51 YEAHHHHHH MARRIAGE

user52 I've been so used to the European-ness of formula 1 that this, v American, relationship is so jarring

user53 I want that hat

user54 the one post dedicated to her American boy, she wears a Canada hat 🤷‍♀️

oscarpiastri good 4 u

yourusername is this a reference 🤔

oscarpiastri lmao, yes

oscarpiastri genuinely congrats, though 🫶

yourusername thank you Oscar 🫶

user55 I love the drivers in the comments

logansargeant love you 💜😁

yourusername love you too lo 🩵😊

———————————————

@casperlikej @evie-119

[inamindfarfaraway]

I would find Blondie Lockes very annoying in real life, but I love her in fiction. She's a genuinely good journalist in terms of both skill and ethical integrity, who only occasionally forgets to check the facts because she's fifteen and holds herself accountable when she does. She has incredibly high standards for everything and believes herself to be the ultimate authority on quality. She has magical lockpicking powers because her fairytale is about Goldilocks breaking into a house. She somehow completely ignores the story's moral that Goldilocks was wrong to break into the house, feels entitled to go wherever and help herself to whatever she's able to and cannot comprehend why people dislike this. She's been terrorizing an anthropomorphic bear family with her cheerful disrespect for privacy and is convinced that they love her. She has a non-anthropomorphic pet baby bear. Her motivation is dependence on external approval rooted in deeply internalized classism. She's desperate to be useful and important to those with higher social status and feels the need to lie that her family is technically royalty to fit in with her royal friends, even though they treat commoners like equals all the time. She positions herself as a conduit of true greatness; closer to it than the masses, but never the hero, always reporting on other people and evaluating what they've done. Because what she's done isn't enough to be worthwhile. What she is isn't enough. But this performative lifestyle makes her anxious about being judged as a fraud and an interloper, and ashamed of selfishly transgressing against social norms. Her microphone head looks like an adorable little bear head. That's one hex of a character alright.

[lizdive]

hi there! platonic aventurine, jing yuan, sunday, blade, welt, dan heng, boothill, argenti and dr ratio with a teen reader who is like fischl?

Hi anon <33 I really wanted to finish this in one part because i loved this req in specific (i love fischl) but idk why I’m lacking sm motivation,,, so I decided to split this into 2 parts (hopefully) i hope you don’t mind,,, thank you so much for requesting <33 if you’re unsatisfied just tell me and i’ll redo it !! <33

notes 𐙚 gender-neutral reader — "you" + "royal" + "they/them" used to refer to user ,, reader is a teenager ,, user is based off of "fischl" from the game genshin impact ,, platonic relationships ,, mention of fu xuan in jing yuan’s part ,, not my best work i’m sorry ,, mention of robin in sunday’s part ,, not proofread ignore typos

⭑ When he first met you, AVENTURINE was a bit taken aback with your speech and eccentric character in general. You claim to be royalty from a far away world, and while Aventurine didn’t quite believe it at first there was a small part of him that was lowkey kind of convinced.

⭑ He was a bit concerned that someone like you was so high ranking in the IPC because he knows the IPC is probably exploiting you especially because you seem to be a bit naive, so he’ll start watching over you.

⭑ He’ll gradually get used to your persona and understand what you say. He might need a second to process if you drop a huge paragraph of dialogue on him, but with every conversation and interaction he gets faster.

⭑ Takes one to know one — AVENTURINE can tell you’re trying to cope with something that’s happened in the past via roleplaying this character you put on, and he won’t be the one to burst your bubble. In fact, he’ll try to protect it for as long as possible.

⭑ Nobody’s going to make fun of you while he’s around. If anyone tries to reality check you, he’ll lowkey gaslight them into thinking that everything you say is real. Yeah, you’re a royal. He’s also actually seen this far away land you speak of, so that person is just being an ignorant hater !!

⭑ If your character is based off of someone from a book like Fischl, AVENTURINE will find that book and read it to better understand your references and persona as a whole. Likes seeing how you get happy when he references something.

⭑ If you ever feel insecure because of your past, AVENTURINE will be there to comfort you. He’s good at picking up signs when it comes to you because he practically had your character memorized. He’ll try to distract you from your past but if you do want to open up and vent he’ll be there to listen.

⭑ Give him a role in your little world and he’ll play it scarily well. Would probably do best as a royal advisor or assistant.

⭑ Buys you literally anything and everything that could fit your aesthetic and world. Fancy gems to add to your riches because every royal needs to have riches!! Buys you clothes too that you think is fit for royalty of your world.

⭑ You practice archery next to him while he practices gun shooting and it’s nice bonding time,,

"I, [Name], [Insert desired title here], descend upon this land by the call of fate an— Oh, you are also a traveler from another world? Very well, I grant you permission to travel with me."

"They’re saying that it’s nice to meet you."

⭑ Was not in any way bothered or confused by your eccentric mannerisms. JING YUAN’s pretty used to the unique speech style due to Fu Xuan, so he understands what you’re saying or at least gets the basic idea.

⭑ Oh? You’re a royal from a far away distant land? Yes yes, how nice. But royals do need to complete their training as well, no? As a cloud knight, he’s impressed with how you easily climbed up those ranks. Praises you whenever you somehow jump up a rank quicker than the last.

⭑ He doesn’t really suspect too much of your personality and that you’re putting up a front until you slip out and go ooc which makes him do a double take mentally. When you get all flustered and a bit distressed, he’ll reassure you by acting like nothing happened.

⭑ It’s then that he really pays attention to the little story you have going on with the world you live in. If he ever forgets something important, he’ll apologize and tell you that he never meant to insult your highness.

⭑ Another one that would protect your little bubble. I don’t think anyone would really want to say something bad about a high ranking cloud knight but even if they wanted to if JING YUAN or Yanqing were to hear they wouldn’t know peace,,

⭑ He can play the role you give him should you give him, especially as a general. You tell him about someone trying to attack your kingdom and he’ll reassure you he’s got this !!

⭑ Keeps a piece of paper in his pocket that has details about your persona if it’s based off of a character from a book. Also probably has a timeline on all your 'historical' events — sometimes he scares you because it feels like he knows more about your world than you do,,

⭑ He finds your keen instincts and intuition a bit intimidating. Have you ever thought of learning a thing or two from Fu Xuan? He always trusts you whenever you feel uncertain about a plan or idea because somehow you’re almost always right in the end.

⭑ Becomes your archery mentor and will watch over you as you train. Your skills are impressive and he finds amusement in the way you pose after a full combo.

⭑ If you feel upset because of your past, JING YUAN will comfort you and tell you that you don’t have to grow up — you’re still young and deserve to enjoy what remains before you become an adult and have to face the world. He’ll always be proud and support you no matter what.

"I hear the voice of fate, speaking my name in humble supplication..."

"Hm? Care to share what fate whispers?"

⭑ The talk of an eccentric worker in the reverie hotel had easily reached SUNDAY’s ears, and wanting to see who this eccentric worker was, he decided to wander around during his free time to catch them in action.

⭑ It wasn’t hard to find you as you were a bit loud. Pushing the cart of luggage while speaking of your magical kingdom to the guests as they nod along, clearly invested and assuming you were a storyteller. Once you had brought the guests’ luggage to their room and left, SUNDAY made his way to you to talk with you in interest. You had quite the imagination and spoke in a very sophisticated manner for your age.

⭑ Wasn’t at all phased by the paragraphs upon paragraphs of dialogue you would drop on him, replying easily and holding the conversation well. He noticed you seemed happier the longer he spoke to you.

⭑ While some guests may be annoyed by your behavior, he’ll remind them — if he’s present — that penacony is the land of festivities and many different people visit. Plus, you’re young and free to be who you want to be. If you’re really get picked on though he’ll deal with them personally.

⭑ SUNDAY is scarily observant so he knows you’re playing a character. He doesn’t really acknowledge it too much or confronts you, though, since everyone in penacony is also technically playing the character they wish they were.

⭑ Because of that, SUNDAY will let you do as you please. He’ll indulge you and will play the role you wish for him to play. He’s good at acting, so he can play whatever you wish. It reminds him of when he’d play pretend when Robin when he was younger.

⭑ Has everything about your character memorized. However he knows what to say and what not to say so he doesn’t fluster you by knowing more than you. Will also cover for you if you accidentally go ooc.

⭑ Your ability to rise up in the ranks so quickly will eventually make you work directly under him at some point and when that happens trust that people will refer to you with a royal title. He may indulge you a bit too much,,,

⭑ When you open to SUNDAY about your past, he kind of just. . . Dodges the subject after that. Doesn’t mention it at all. May act like your father a bit and call you his [insert royal title here] — you never realize it’s him trying to reassure you that you needn’t worry about growing up and being mature because of the role you’ve given him.

⭑ Gets a bit worried for your safety when you practice archery, but he also appreciates the fact you can take care of yourself should you face any dangers (especially in the dreamscape.)

⭑ Takes your advice and warnings a bit seriously because of how good your intuition and keen instincts were. (He didn’t listen ONCE and he paid the price.)

"What does it take to rile a royal? ...If you must know, it is those who cannot recognize my true identity. But it is no great loss, for solitude is the noble's lot, so long as I do not lose the nobility of my soul..."

"How wise you are, your highness."

⭑ He has no idea when it happened, but one day BLADE became your 'knight' and he has yet to comment on it. Not really the best knight as he doesn’t really stay close to you on the daily however also a really good knight as he protects you during missions to the point where you don’t use a single arrow.

⭑ Can understand what you day, does not translate for other people. You’re the yapper and he’s the listener. Doesn’t reply like 95% of the time but when he does it’s really flat and monotone which you don’t mind because he’s the big scary knight !!

⭑ Gets teased by the other stellaron hunters for indulging you, but he doesn’t really care too much. He can’t leave you to die during missions, can he? You’re way too young to hold your own properly so he’s there to make sure the number of stellaron hunters doesn’t decrease (that’s his reasoning don’t ruin it pls.)

⭑ Said this in other posts: not the best at comforting so when you open up, he’s kind of just,,, there. He’s also a bit distant sometimes but after that he’ll try to put an effort into playing his role so you don’t get upset or feel like he’s ignoring you.

⭑ Nobody thinks of making fun of you or your interests because BLADE’s always standing behind you — even if you’re tall for your age it’s still very scary to have him just staring at the person with a dead look.

⭑ Doesn’t research your character like the others — he learns as he goes. He doesn’t even have the chance to mess up because he just doesn’t talk much so he can’t mess up.

⭑ Not much to say for Bladie he just goes with it,,

"Dusk and dawn but fleeting shadows are. Once more, the twists of fate have led you into my everlasting night."

"…Good morning."

[pyramid-of-starrs]

hongjoong getting at us mad because we hung out with a different kpop boy group nsfw ?😭idk it came to me because of how atinys make the joke of hongjoong hating how we stan other groups-

Only look at me

Jealous mean Dom Hongjoong x Afab reader

Summary: You get caught by Hongjoong coming back to your home from a late night concert and he has to remind you who's fan you're supposed to be.

Genre: Angst and Smut

Warnings: Acts of possessiveness, begging, kinda toxic but like not really lol

Smut warnings: Rough sex, use of sex toys, oral sex (M recieving), gagging, choking, friends with benefits, mentions of punishment, punishment sex, use of consentual force (Y/N have a preestablished agreement), Mean dom Hongjoong, slapping, cum eating, throat fucking, condom sex, Sir kink??, pain kink??, Humilitation??, Degrading??

A/N: Idk what it is about Hongjoong but like, every fic I write about him he's getting his dick sucked, idk he just deserves that.

Minors dni

You walked into your loft around 3 am, you dropped your clear tote bag, and took off your shoes, the living room was dark, you turned on the light and were startled to see your best friend Hongjoong sitting on your couch with his leg folded over the other and his arms crossed.

"Jesus fucking Christ Hongjoong you scared the hell out of me, why are you just sitting in my house in the damn dark?!" You yelled, still shaken up while holding your fast-beating chest.

"You're coming home late." was all he replied, you didn't ask why he was here again because Hongjoong often randomly appeared at your house every since he got the spare key in case of emergencies.

"Yeah, I was out with my friends."

"Doing what?" He tilted his head slightly. "I'm your friend, your best friend to be exact, why didn't I know about this friend outing?"

"Uh- well, ya know it was... um... preplanned." You scratched your head then tried to slyly slide your clear tote bag behind you.

"That's not your normal purse, why the sudden change?" He questioned.

"Oh um, the place we went to searches bags so I figured I'd save myself the hassle, haha." You awkwardly giggled as you felt yourself caving under pressure.

"You still haven't told me where this place is Y/N." The look in his eyes were like daggers.

"Fine... me and some friends went to the Stray Kids concert tonight." you cracked.

"Oh! How fun! but it's" He checks his Apple watch. "3:47 am Y/N, in all my years of doing concerts I've never known them to end that late." He said sarcastically.

"Well...um." You stuttered and he rolled his eyes.

"Spit it out Y/N"

"Chan saw us in the crowd and remembered me from when you introduced us and he invited us out for drinks and food-"

"Ooooh drinks AND food, well damn you have had a full night huh?" The sarcasm was very evident.

"Hongjoong don't be like that."

"Like what? I just thought you said that you didn't need to see any other group besides Ateez since we are the best. Yet here you are."

"My friend bought the tickets." you sigh.

"And what did you do while you were out for food and drinks until 3 am." His eyes narrowed.

You stood there in silence choosing not to answer and avoid all eye contact.

"Come here Y/N." he stood up.

You walked over to him slowly then stood in front of him.

"Get on your knees." You stood there now listening for a moment. "Now!" You chose not to prolong it since he was already clearly mad, you got down and kneeled on both your knees on the cold hardwood floor, luckily you had on knee highs so it wasn't too bad. Hongjoong got closer to you and stood above you as he looked down on you with his arms folded you looked at him with pleading eyes hoping he would take a little mercy on you. "Get to it Y/N." you knew you were royally fucked. Though you two were only "friends" you and Hongjoong had a few established understandings, one of them being that you couldn't enjoy any other group except Ateez or he could punish you in any way he saw fit. At first, it was things like pinches or forehead flicks but then the punishments started to become things like standing in front of him with your clothes off or letting him edge you for hours on end. You weren't complaining, sometimes you would purposely get caught with another group's albums or merch so that he could punish you.

You started to undo his pants and zipper while trying to maintain eye contact, you pulled his hands down then his briefs to reveal his half-hardened dick.

"I'm sorry Jongie." you said still trying to get out of the punishment, he grabbed the base of his dick and the back of your head and shoved his cock down your throat causing you to gasp audibly, he held his dick there as it pulsed in your mouth.

"I don't want to fucking hear it." He had no remorse for you as he started to fuck your throat, you could feel his dick getting harder and harder as it became harder to breathe from your mouth the deeper he would go. "You shouldn't have done it if you were going to be sorry, now you have to pay the price." He lectured you as you continued to gag on his length while his hips never stopped, his thighs hit your chin, that's just how deep he was going.

"I won't do it again." was muffled from your very occupied mouth and it just irritated him more, he sped up the pace he was going, your throat was already sore from the screaming but him fucking it made it worse, the sting from your punishment was exhilarating.

He kept his grip on your hair with one hand then moved his other hand to your nose as he clamped it closed, cutting off your only airway left to use. "You promise you won't do it again?" he asked. You gagged more as you started to choke from your lack of air, he didn't care, he kept moving his hips to fuck his dick in and out of your throbbing throat. You nodded to his question and he released your nose, you thought you were in the clear until he cocked his hand back a bit and delivered a smack on your cheek, you whimpered around his cock and he returned his fingers to your nose to pinch it closed again. "I can't hear you." he said in a mocking tone. You muffled out a yes that was barely understandable as mascara tears started to run down your face, he released your nose once again and you started to take large breaths through it, he once again smacked your sensitive cheek, the sting was amazing.

"I said do you fucking promise?" He said as he pulled his dick from your mouth and looked down at you with a slightly scary face while he angled your head up to make sure you two made eye contact.

"Yes, I promise." You cried out, and he smiled.

"Good job, stick your tongue out." You opened your mouth wide then stuck your tongue out, he placed the tip of his dick on your tongue and stroked himself a few times before the hot ropes of his cum started to cover your tongue. "Now swallow all of it." You closed your mouth and swallowed every drop of his cum, even licking your lip gloss-covered lips to get the remaining off, you showed him your tongue to get his stamp of approval. "Strip and go to the bedroom, but crawl since you like to bark for other men like a horny little bitch in heat."

"Yes sir." You nodded then reached for your shirt to pull it off while he watched you slowly get naked to tease him, you stood there naked before getting on your hands and knees and crawling down the hall to your bedroom, Hongjoong watched you as he followed behind you, his eyes watching you made you wetter. Your slick spread all over your core and thighs, watching was making Hongjoong eager to drill you, once you reached the bed you sat on your knees waiting on his next command.

"On the bed dog."  he commanded, you got on top of the bed, sitting on your knees once again. "Lay on your back with your knees up." you laid back and bent your knees, Hongjoong removed the remainder of his clothes but walked over to the nightstand to get something out of the top drawer, before you could look over to see what he had he climbed on top on you and positioned himself between your legs, he ripped open a condom and you whined. "Shut up, cheater sluts like you don't get to get fucked raw." He didn't waste time and lined his tip up with your sex and put it in. You moaned as he pushed deeper into you, he held the back of your legs and you could feel him holding something hard as he kept a consistent pace inside of you.

"It feels so good Joongie." you moaned.

"Wanna feel even better baby?" He asked with a devious smirk on his face, though you didn't trust him you still nodded your head and closed your eyes to enjoy the feeling, you suddenly heard a loud buzzing sound and as soon as your eyes fluttered back open you saw Hongjoong was placing your vibrating egg right on your clit. By reflex your legs tried to snap closed and you yelped Hongjoong smiled watching you squirm about.

"Fuck, fuck, what, it's too much-" you yelled, he started to go faster while drawing circles on your clit with the egg and biting his bottom lip.

"Aw is that how you were screaming at your little concert?" Curse words and incoherent pleas fell from your lips as he pushed the egg further onto your clit, your head was all the way into the pillow. "What? You can't talk now huh? Spending all that time talking and laughing with them that you're too tired to talk?" He thrust harshly, the tip of his dick hitting your spot hard repeatedly, your fingers began to curl, and you could hear him laughing at you.

"Fuck Joong, Fuck." Was all you could say before your body started to shake, your eyes rolled back as you gripped the sheets hard, your pussy tightened around Hongjoong as liquid erupted out of you, Hongjoong smiled as he looked over the mess he made of you but he needed to push you more, punish you even further. Before you could catch your breath or get cleaned up Hongjoong turned the egg up to full speed and pushed it back onto your clit, you loudly moaned at the sudden fast pace vibrations on your already sensitive nub.

"Please- please, please, please, no more, no more." you pleaded you could hardly catch your breath, especially with his dick still inside you. He started to roll his hips into you until he was full-on fucking you again, you were fucked out and overstimulated as your clit began to ring, you placed one hand on his stomach and he shot daggers at you once again.

"Take your fucking hand away Y/N." He said in a stern and deep voice, you lowered your hand and sat there and took it, the sensation of his dick and the egg was overwhelming but felt amazing. "If you want me to stop, beg for my forgiveness."

"Pleeeease nghhh~ Please I'm so-rry, please, sorry fuck-" You fumbled out, he pressed harder and fucked you deeper by leaning closer, you gripped his back and pulled him closer while your nails dug into him.

"Louder." His thrusting began to get more aggressive as he pounded into you deeply while holding the egg sloppily.

"Please, please, I'm sorry, please forgive me Hongjoong, I'll only look at you forever, fuck everyone else!" You yelled into his ear, and you once again squirted on him and the bed, your tight abused pussy squeezing Hongjoongs dick and this time earning his cum that filled the condom, he cursed as he pulled out and turned the toy off. He rolled and took a seat on the side of the bed to return everything to your night stand then got up to walk to the bathroom to throw the condom away.

You were stuck in your position for a second, as your body came down from your high you slowly started to sit up in the bed. "It's not fair! You know I like it when you fill me up." You could hear the bath faucet turning on before he walked back in.

"Then stop being bad, that's the only time you will get rewards." he leaned over to give you a peck on the cheek before helping you out of bed so he could walk you to the bathroom so you two could take a bath together, he always acts so sweet after being a demon. You went in first to pee then swung the door open when you were done.

"I wasn't being bad, I was going to a free concert... then getting free food and drinks after." You mumbled the last part to not rub salt in his wound.

"Well it wasn't free since you had to pay the price with me." you rolled your eyes, he got in first then you got in after him, the hot water soothed your tense body and burned the new scratches on Hongjoong's back.

"Jeez talking like that like I belong to you Joong."

"You do, you belong to me and only me, so only cheer and look at me... and I guess all of Ateez... but I better be your bias!"

You chuckled at him. "Yes sir"

[dearmantis]

Golden Crown of Sorrow

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x fem!Princess!Reader

Summary: After sending dozens of letters begging your father to help you flee from your betrothed and his family, someone finally comes to save you

Warnings: domestic abuse, neglectful/abusive parents, sexism/violence against women, mentions of suicide, murder, mentions of child murder, mentions of getting attacked by an animal (if you get bitten by something, even a human, get checked by a medical professional), Fjerda slander, mention of pregnancy

Word Count: 4k words

Authors Note: This was originally part of A little loss of Innocence but it works way better as it's own one shot. Also, please pay attention to the warnings. English is not my native language and I didn't edit this

"Did my father send you?" You ask as you settle in the carriage, voice timid and quiet in a way that is so unlike the version of you that he knows that it throws him off for a second.

You haven't spoken at all during the ride here, contempt in burying your fingers in the mane of his horse or sleeping as he led it away from the house of the family you were promised to, and starring at the forest or the small fires he lit to cook food during the breaks.

His gaze wanders over you, taking in the way your shoulders are pulled together to make you appear smaller, the small, almost invisible cut on your left cheek, the way you keep wincing when the carriage shakes a bit, and how your eyes keep jumping around, gaze always flickering between the window and the position of his hands.

He can't lie to you, he realises. You're suspicious and filled to the brim with fear and paranoia. Whatever happened in Fjerda has shaken you to the core and thrown you right into survival mode. If he lies to you and you find out, you will never trust him with anything ever again.

Because even if you recover from this, you will always remember the fact that he lied to you when you were in your most vulnerable state. And Aleksander needs the trust of the royal family, as much as he might despise that fact.

"No"

You bite your lip harshly, teeth digging into the chapped, dry flesh before you nod, eyes finding his. The suspicion in them is stronger now, accompanied by a bit of confusion.

"Then why did you come? What's in it for you?"

Aleksander frowns. "Excuse me, your highness?"

"Why are you saving me? Why did you decide to come here instead of letting me die in Djerholm? My own family was ready to watch me perish there after all."

There is no anger in your voice, no sadness, nothing. Just this monotone, quiet, submissive voice that doesn't fit someone born into the status of royalty.

But your gaze is scrutinizing, clarifying that every question you ask is a test designed to make him trip in hopes of revealing his true motivations. You're expecting him to lie to you. In the back of your mind you're probably already planning how to weasel the truth out of him, so all he can really do to take control over the situation and reassure you into trusting him is to reveal the truth and in turn his playing cards for this specific game.

You want him to lie, and he has never enjoyed doing what the royal family wants.

"Glory"

Your surprise is like a shooting star: Visible for a singular heartbeat, then gone forever.

"Glory?" Your eyes look back down to your knees, your hands playing with the fabric of the skirt of your dress while the volume of your voice drops into a whisper. "You won't achieve glory like this. You will most likely be punished for saving me, and I'll be sent back."

Your behaviour is starting to bother him. It was a welcome change when he first got you out and traveled through Fjerda with you on the saddle in front of him, but now all he wants to do is shake you until the words start falling out of your mouth.

He thought you were just quiet because you were scared of being caught, but evidently, nothing has changed for you after he led you across the border to Ravka.

Maybe it would've been better to lie? To tell you that he was some kind of chivalrous knight in shining armour who had come to Fjerda out of the goodness of his own heart to save his struggling princess?

"I doubt that you'll be send back, your highness," he responds carefully. He never thought about the fact that your family might be upset about him saving you. They did give you away after all, and he simply acted on the assumption that they love you and want you to be safe, like all parents should. He should know by now that many parents don't love their children.

"I hope you're right," you mumble, averting your gaze to look at the scenery of Ravka rushing past the window, "For the sake of both of us."

You sink back into silence after that, and the letter still stuck in a pocket of his kefta is suddenly heavy as a bag of bricks. It's a short one, written on a scrap of paper that you must've somehow smuggled out of the house of your betrothed. It had ended up in his mail one day, either through an accident or through a servant who couldn't continue to watch the king ignore your cries for help.

Please father. I don't know how much longer I can survive this. I dream of taking a knife to my throat every day. I'm not strong enough for this.

The next time you speak, you're less than ten minutes away from the town where he planned to take a break, your quiet voice piercing through the air like an arrow.

"Do you have to bring me to my father?"

Aleksander looks up from the documents he had been reading, a deep frown on his face. "Where else would I bring you, your highness?"

You mirror his facial expression. "You could hide me at the Little Palace."

"No, I can't. What if someone catches you?"

"Nobody would catch me, I promise. I would be so quiet, I would never leave my rooms I would-"

"No. End of the discussion, or I'll tell the coachman to turn around and bring you back to your betrothed."

His voice is sharp and cold, the stress from the last few days finally boiling over, and you flinch back from him so harshly that your head hits the wood behind you. Fear burns like a small fire in your gaze, your frame curling in on itself even further.

You don't talk at all for two days straight after that. The only time he hears your voice is when you scream and cry at night, probably due to nightmares.

Looking back, he probably overreacted a bit.

The next time you talk, it's only because he asks you a question.

You're both sitting in a tavern, quietly eating together, and while your gaze keeps jumping from the three other people around you to the door and the windows, his is glued to you.

He has collected a thousand questions on his tongue in the last few days, and his mind works overtime trying to discern the differences between you now and you before all of this. Before the betrothal, before your travels to Fjerda.

"What exactly happened to you in Fjerda?"

Your attention shifts to him, brows furrowed.

"The same thing that always happens when a woman of Ravka gets betrothed to a man of Fjerda."

In the back of his mind, he remembers the death of Princess Fruzsina. How her brother, crown prince Konstantin, didn't let anyone see her or her newborn daughters corpse when they were transported back to Ravka, not even her own parents.

"Nobody needs to see this. It's better to remember her the way she was when she was still here."

He feels acid rising in his throat.

You talk again a few hours later, attention flickering from the window of the carriage to him and back a few times before you finally manage to find your voice again.

"Why did no one ever betroth you to someone?" You ask carefully.

Aleksander looks up from the book he has been reading, a small spark of annoyance visible in his eyes at the interruption.

He regrets it as soon as he sees you flinch again, his mind immediately travelling back to that young woman completely wrapped in shroud, her small babe right next to her. Just bundles of linen, not a milimetre of skin visible.

"Excuse me, your highness?"

"Why did no one ever betroth you to someone?" You repeat, "Or one of your ancestors at least. Wouldn't that make sense? Tie you and the Darkling line to the royal family through marriage and kids, force allegiance that way?"

Closing the book slowly, he lets your words roll over in his head.

"The Darklings have been loyal to the Royal Family since the Black Heretic died."

"Yes, but wouldn't it be better to tie the families together forever? It would also help to smooth over past animosities, I think. Suddenly, the king isn't just a stranger. He's the current Darklings father in law or uncle. And the Darkling is no longer a random stranger to the Princes and Princesses either. He's their cousin."

The idea is simple and logical, he has to give you that, but he has also spent the last two centuries making sure he wouldn't be betrothed to anyone. It kind of ruins his whole "faking his death and pretending to be his own son" ruse, after all. But he can't explain that to you, can he?

"No ravkan king would ever betroth their child to a Grisha, your Highness. Not when all over the country highborn children are still drowned in lakes and bathtubs as soon as they show their abilities." The words come out harsher than originally planned, but he doesn't correct himself. "Why are you thinking about this? You've never shown interest in Grisha, me, or the politics surrounding us."

He has to wait almost thirty minutes for an answer to that question. He's gone back to reading, carefully annotating his thoughts and questions, when your voice rings through the carriage once more, almost getting swallowed by the noise of the horses outside.

"At night, when I couldn't sleep, I often asked myself if I had other options. If I could've gotten betrothed to someone else. One of the only men I could think of that were still eligible is... you. And as soon as I realised that, I also noticed that the Darklings have never married someone highborn."

There's something else, he can tell by the way you speak, slow and careful like you're holding something back, but before he can even think to push you the carriage shakes and your face contorts into a pained grimace.

He doesn't have to see the skin hidden by your clothes to know that you're probably covered in bruises and cuts, maybe even some animal bite marks.

You should rest, and he can still interrogate you later, so he slowly nods and returns to his book, his eyes gliding over the paper without absorbing a single word. His mind stays with you.

You start having an easier time moving and walking a week after escaping your betrothed and his family, but you're still visibly keyed up and stressed. Everything scares you, everything wakes your suspicion, everything worries you.

He hears you mutter under your breath sometimes, especially during the late hours of the night and the hours before sunrise, convinced that he must be asleep. He can never quite understand what you're saying, only catching a few words at a time when it happens. You whisper about wolves following your scent, of someone sending you back into the north, of shoving a knife into your neck, deep enough that not even a well trained healer would be able to save you in time.

Your lack of sleep worries him as well. The only times he has seen you truly sleep well were at the beginning of your travels. You almost slept for two days straight, sitting in front of him on his horse, his arms keeping you stable in the saddle, only waking up after he made camp for the night and forced you to drink and eat. Now, the only sleep you get is through small involuntary naps in the carriage, when the exhaustion claims you like it did in those first two days.

The nightmares that wake you as soon as you fall asleep don't help either.

You're petting and brushing the horses while the other Grisha accompanying you fill the water bottles at a nearby river, your only guard being the General himself sitting a few metres away, eyes on the forest surrounding you.

"I was surprised how much I missed you," you say after a while, your attention still fully on the beautiful horses in front of you, carefully brushing the dust and dirt out of their fur in hopes of making them a bit more comfortable, "I missed my brothers, of course, and my friends and servants as well. I missed the gardens of the Grand Palace, the beauty of Os Alta, my own bed. I missed being home and not being scared for my life. But I also missed you a lot more than I thought I would."

You don't look at him, your voice light as if you were talking about the weather.

"I kept thinking about how much time I spend bothering you, how much my own parents brainwashed me into disliking you, and how much you must've suffered because of that. I was a brat before I was sent north, I know that now, and I want to apologize for my behaviour. I can't thank you enough for coming to save me despite everything."

Aleksander is speechless for longer than he would like to admit, starring at you with visible shock on his face. It takes him a while to shake it off, to find the right words to respond to you.

"You were a child for most of it, Your Highness. It would be stupid of me to hold a grudge because of that."

He has held grudges because of less, but you don't need to know that. You're the first member of the Royal Family to actually apologize to him. Sure, you're probably only doing it because he saved you from your betrothed, but he can tell that you genuinely feel bad.

"It wouldn't be. I was a terror as a child and grew up to be a brat."

The Darkling frowns weakly, watching you carefully as you move onto the second horse to brush it.

"I was a brat, and stupid too. I heard the story of Princess Fruzsina a thousand times. I even dug through the archive to read the reports from the Healers. I know everything they did to her. I'm probably the only person alive that actually still knows, since no one ever bothers to read through those documents... and I went north anyway. I betrayed her memory. She begged in her last letter before she was murdered that they could never send another ravkan girl north, and I went anyway."

He shakes his head, responding to your words before he even realises that he opened his mouth. "You did what your parents wanted from you. They were the ones suggesting the betrothal, and they encouraged you to go through with it. If anyone betrayed Fruzsinas' memory, it's them, just like they betrayed you when they suggested the betrothal without educating you on the sensitive political climate in Fjerda and their exact traditions and rules."

"I'm a woman grown, General, and I did research on Fruzsinas murder on my own. I should've done the same with the treatment of women in Fjerda instead of blindly believing my mother when she assured me that the men in the north don't hit their wives anymore. That they wouldn't dare to hurt a girl from a royal family. I'm a stupid little girl, nothing more."

"You believed that your parents would keep you safe instead of selling your life away for a political alliance. You assumed that your family would do what they're supposed to do. That's not a sin, your highness."

"Oh, but it is!" You bite back, eyes finally meeting his. There's anger and hate flickering in your irises, but he knows it's not directed towards him. It's directed towards yourself. A weapon pointed at your own heart and soul instead of his head. "I'm old enough to think for myself, to make my own decisions. People expect it of me, but instead of using my head I follow my mother and father around and copy them in everything, playing the obedient little princess instead of developing a personality and beliefs of my own. It took a man beating me half to death in front of his men to change that, to free me of the shackles I put onto my own wrists and ankles."

Your voice is sharper than a knife, colder than the permafrost up north, and your breathing is getting harsher. Gone is the sumbissive, quiet thing he pulled out of that house in the middle of the night. "I did everything to apease my parents, to be the perfect princess in their eyes, in everyones eyes. I loved what they loved, hated what they hated, and did what they did. And for what? To be sold off like an animal to a slaughterhouse?"

A scoff escapes your lips, an unladylike sound that you would've never let yourself make before. He guesses you stopped caring. There are many unladylike noises that you've probably made while laying in your own blood, cowering from the man who was supposed to protect and cherish you.

"That's what I meant when I said that they will send me back. I had the help of two of the servant girls. They smuggled letters out for me and sent them off to my parents, but no answer ever came. The only reason why I got out is because you somehow knew that something was wrong and wrongfully assumed it was an opportunity for you to gain glory."

He doesn't mention that he knew of your predicament because one of your letters ended up with him on accident, nor does he disrupt you for any other reasons. This is the most you've spoken since he dragged you out of that forsaken house in Djelholm and smuggled you out of the city. It would be insane to cut you off now and risk never hearing of your thoughts and opinions ever again.

"It's ridiculous. Even if a miracle happens and I don't get sent back immediately, they will simply betroth me to someone else from Fjerda, like that's somehow going to fix the years of tension between our countries. I will never be safe again. I will never be allowed to stay here. I will never be free the way I was before all this. I didn't even realise how privileged I was."

There is a way to save you from that fate. Several, actually, but one of them would play right into his hands if he simply played his cards right.

Aleksander suggests it two days before they reach Os Alta while they sit in the carriage.

He doesn't do anything special, doesn't prepare anything or bothers to give a speech. It would be filled with lies and manipulation anyways, and you would probably be able to tell. He hasn't officially accepted your apology for your past behaviours, after all. He just says what he wants you to do, nothing more.

"Marry me."

Your head whips up, attention dragged away from the book you had been reading.

"What?"

He smiles. "Marry me."

The carriage is currently driving through a town, the noise of children playing and people talking filling the silence between you two.

"Why?" You finally ask, suspicion barely hidden in your body language.

He has many reasons to make a suggestion like this, of course. Tying himself to someone, an otkazat'sya no less, is incredibly risky for him, after all. It needs to be thought through carefully, which he has.

Aleksander feels like he has done nothing else other than think since your rescue.

You're popular with the people, ravkas beautiful rose, kind and sweet and obedient. If the commoners found out what happened to you, what your parents knowingly put you through with this betrothal, they would riot in the streets. It would only get worse if they found out that they sent you away from your lover.

The story basically writes itself. It would be easy to plant rumours amongst the merchants and peasants, make them believe that you were in love with him and planned to run off with him, knowing that the king and queen would never allow for your love to flourish. That your parents found out and sent you away for a betrothal to a harsh and violent man as a punishment. That he saved you because he loved you so deeply, marrying you on the road back to the Grand Palace in a small chapel, hoping that the marriage will tie your souls together forever even if he gets killed for disobeying the wishes of the king and queen.

If he does it right he can claim that your father attacked you and that he killed him and the rest of the royal family to defend you, or that Fjerdans assassinated the royal family in revenge for the failed betrothal and that Aleksander somehow managed to save you, placing you on the throne, him right next to you.

He would no longer be General, then, but king consort. Your reputation should be high enough with the otkazat'sya to balance the hatred they have for him out as well. The rose of ravka would never fall for an evil man, after all.

Of course, this plan could backfire horribly. What if you hate him after he slaughters your family? What if you don't want to be queen? What if one of your relatives manages to kill you before he can kill them? He would have to claim the throne through right of conquest, and the people would hate him for it, would turn your family into martyrs and put his Grisha at even more risk.

But the risks might be worth it. He just has to be smart.

And he'd be saving you from an awful marriage. He could be a god husband to you. He could make you happy.

Probably.

Of course, he can't confess these things to you. The best way to force you to participate in his plans is if you don't know that he's planning anything at all.

"They can't send you back if you're married. You'll be mine. I'd be able to hide you away in the Little Palace, just like you wanted."

You make a face, clearly not convinced.

"They'll just order a priest to annul it or kill you to make me a widow and renew the betrothal," you warn.

"Your highness, as much as I respect the swordsmanship of the guards, I sincerely doubt that they would be able to kill me. Besides, I don't think that they would be able to betroth you to a fjerdan man after we consummate the marriage."

The book you've been reading drops to the floor of the carriage with a quiet thump, but you don't even notice that it has left your grasp, your full, undivided attention on him.

You're probably trying to discern if he's serious, and if you should slap him for even suggesting something like this.

"There's a chapel in this town, and a small tavern right next to it," he murmurs after a while, offering his hand to you, "It wouldn't be like the royal wedding you probably dreamed of, but you would be safe. I swear it. I protect what is mine."

He watches you swallow, traces the movement with his gaze, gleeful at the visible effect his proposal has on you. He can see the temptation in your eyes, the battle you're fighting in your head.

Are you willing to go behind your parents' backs to marry him? Are you willing to become the Darklings wife, to carry his children?

You grab his hand slowly, the look in your eyes vulnerable.

His smile widens when his fingers wrap around yours, his hand moving to knock against the wood of the carriage to get it to stop.

[lovifie]

Her Royal Highness Pt.5

Masterlist

Prologue — Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

The people of the city turn out to be delighted, elated to be visited by the Princess. And you feel glad because they don't look at you with the fear the guard had, they look at you with happiness in their eyes, joyful the Princess finally left the castle.

They are so happy, that they don't seem to notice the mysterious men that follow you. Not literally, they remained on a table inside the inn, but you can feel their eyes on you at all times. 

It is a nice thing they do, because after a while you start to feel dizzy. People keep pulling you in different directions, wanting to show you places and introduce you to people. You can see the guard from the journey, and he looks ready to pull his hair out every time someone grabs your hand, afraid that you are going to suddenly turn into a tyrant like your late father. 

You won't, of course. Getting a taste of what a kingdom that likes you feels like, you don't want to experience the opposite. At some point, the guard loses his patience and peels your hand away from the people, guiding you to the table where everyone else is eating.

“Ooh, the Princess finally resigned herself to sit with us. Such an honour, your Royal Highness.” Gaz exclaims, standing up just to do a dramatic reverence, with Soap doing exactly the same.

“Sit down, you muppets.” The king orders next to you with a teasing note in his voice. So he can be nice. That's how he sounds when normal. 

“Yes, my dear King” Soap says, doing a second reference before sitting down. Price snickers beside you at Soap's antics, if only you could get on his good side like that. 

Around the rectangular table, you are sitting beside the king on one side, with Gaz, Soap and Ghost sitting on the opposite. Ghost and you are the ones sitting the more far away from each other, which is why it surprises you to see him staring at you.

You maintain eye contact, not wanting to back down first, and surprisingly it's him who does. But only to look at your hand, his eyebrows raise, remembering something. You look at him curious as he gets his hand inside his pocket and pulls something that slides across the table in your direction. 

Five heads look at the object, and soon realize what he throws at you.

A ring. 

A simple small gold band.

For a second, you think that it is just a weird gift from the Prince; a peace offering. But when you look at him, he looks at you expectantly as if waiting for you to answer and it clicks. 

Your soon-to-be husband, is proposing to you.

“That's it?” You ask picking it up to check it better, disappointment clear in your voice. 

“We're you expecting rubies?” He laughs. “I thought you were more humble than that, princess “

“It's not about the ring…” You say looking at it. “I thought you would at least ask me, indulge me a bit and trick me into thinking I had a choice, you know.” 

“If you were expecting me to kneel, you may be more stupid than we thought.” He chuckles drily.

You ignore him, the insult falling on deaf ears at this point and focus on the ring. Just looking at it you know it's not going to be your size, and when you try to get your finger in it, it is so much bigger it could fit two of yours. You realise then, that they didn't even bother to find an actual ring, and just used one they had themselves. 

“It doesn't fit.” You comment, still looking at your hand.

“Close your fist then.” Ghost answers. “Better not lose it.” 

You should hit him. Shove the ring down his throat until he chokes. But you don't, instead, you stand up, ring in hand, and walk up to the room they lend you without saying anything else. 

Some of the maids quickly follow you as you walk upstairs into the room. Your luggage is already there, and you take out the nightgown even though the sun is still out. But your chances are going down to the king and putting up with their passive-aggressive remarks or going out and getting hurt or kidnapped by people's kindness. 

You are far from being used to dealing with this many people on a daily basis, so the silence of the room when you get out of the bathtub makes you want to go to sleep. 

So you step into the room, looking at the ground and closing the door behind you. When you look up to your bed, the bed looks back at you. Well, not the bed, but Simon.

You gasp when you see the behemoth of a man, laying down on his back on your bed without his mask and cape. In his hands, he is playing with a garment you can figure out at first. 

Until he smirks at you, and then you realize is the undergarments you were wearing today. “Simon!” You exclaim, completely scandalized by the violation of your privacy. “That's not yours!” 

The fact that he entered your room while you were bathing becomes a second offence, and you walk up to him ready to take it back. Except it looks like that was exactly his plan because when you extend your hand to try and grab it, he grabs your wrist pulling you on top of him.

You shriek out of the surprise, in part surprised by his strength; able to hold you up by the hand on your wrist and in part, surprised by his lack of decorum. He is so close you can feel the heat radiating from his skin, he is looking up at you with such a condescending look but it is the eye contact of his golden brown eyes that keeps you in a trance. 

Trance, that gets suddenly broken by a sharp pain in your ass when Simon slaps your ass. You slowly look back at him and slap him back on his chest. “You did not fucking do that!” You exclaim, and he raises his eyebrows. “Princess!” He says covering his mouth with his free hand. “Language!”

You manage to get your hand free and get back on your feet. You point to the door and say: “Get out!”

He barks a laugh sitting up at the edge of the bed, and at a surprisingly fast speed, he hugs your waist pulling you tight against him again. You manage to get your hands on his shoulder, pulling some distance between him and you.

“But I need to check your wound, Princess.” He says looking up through his eyelashes. “The wound is amazing, Simon. You can leave.” You answer, still trying to pull back.

One of his hands moves up to your waist, and with his thumb and index, he presses over your wound, hard, drawing little droplets of blood and making you wince. “That does sound amazing, but I don't think your wound is.” He says pulling his finger back and licking the blood of his thump while looking at you. You can feel the heat in your ears, an obvious sign of your flush, completely uncalled for. 

You're supposed to get warm with gentle touches, grazing hands and kisses on the cheek. Not by this brute, personification of strength, licking your blood.

“Let me see it, Princess.” He says sternly looking at you. You feel trapped, like in a cage… a really warm cage. So you start to pull the gown up, and you can feel Simon's eyes drag up the newly exposed skin, you are not wearing anything under the nightgown and he notices his eyes widening slightly. One of your hands remains between your legs, making sure only the outside of your leg is exposed as the other rises the gown up to right below your boob where the wound is. 

Simon sets his hand on your knee engulfing it, and apparently, he needs to move his hand up your tights, your hips and up to under your boob just to check the wound. He touches the wound, moving his thumb across it and his fingernail grazes your underboob causing you goosebumps. You turn your head, unable to keep looking at his face, letting a sight escape your lips trying to play it out as a sight of annoyance. 

“You were right, it looks good.” He murmurs, when you feel his breath against your skin you whip your head back to look at him, just to see him lick a strip right under the wound, causing a whine out of you at the heat of his tongue. 

You slap his shoulder this time, taking a step back and putting the nightgown down. “Why did you do that? You are gonna get it infected!” He simply laughs at your face and adds: “Sorry, Princess, I just wanted a taste. It was too tempting.”

“You are a really weird man, Simon Price!” You exclaim, moving back until your back hits the wall, putting as much space as possible between him and you. 

He looks at you confused, before standing up and walking up to you. “Why do you say that, Princess?” He asks, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “Hm?”

“One second you do these… things. Next second you don't even look at me and treat me like trash.” You say looking at the floor. 

He chuckles, cupping your face making you look up to him. “Is this because I told you I wouldn't kneel? Now, Princess. I already gave you the ring, why else do you want me to kneel for you, hm?” He asks getting his face close to yours, for a second you panic he would kiss you, but just before reaching it, he moves to your ear and whispers: “Naughty, girl.”

Putting his hands on your hips, he turns you around leaving you staring at the wall. “Better to check the exit too.” He murmurs against your neck. “Do it quick, and leave.” You order, trying to remain calm.

Instead, he takes his time. Crouching down, knee almost touching his ground, and he grabs the hem of the gown, and slowly, really slowly, as if time has stopped and therefore he had all the time in the world, he starts to raise it, with his fingertip gracing the skin of your leg, fingernail scratching just at the verge of pain. 

Goosebumps spread as he rises, up your calf, up your thigh, up your arse, which he touches with no remorse, and up your back. With one hand, he holds the gown up, and with the other, he caresses your hip. 

You don't feel his eyes on your wound, you feel them lower. And if you have the courage, you would confront him; but coming face to face and he proudly admitting, because he would, that yes, in fact, he was staring at your arse, it's not something you could bear without blushing and therefore feeding his ego. 

“How is it?” You ask, growing impatient with his lack of sounds.

“Amazing, indeed.” He answers immediately, and you know he is not talking about the wound, but that'll do for now. So you take a step to the side, getting out of his hold and let the gown back down, covering your body.

“Great, then you can leave.” You say, crossing your arms unable to look at him. 

“But why? I'm enjoying myself in here, Princess.” He says chuckling at you. 

“Precisely!” You exclaim and grab his wrist, him obviously letting you drag him. You open the door, ready to throw him out when you come to face with Gaz who looks ready to knock at the door. He looks between Simon and you, before gasping loudly.

“Premarital encounters?!” He asks smiling widely, and making you roll your eyes, pushing Simon out of the room and slamming the door. Hearing the two men laugh loudly on the other side.

The next morning, a quick breakfast is eaten. The ring is not on your finger, too big to be comfortable to wear; instead, it is hanging from your neck with a threat. It rests on the center of your chest, so everyone can see it. 

“Princess, I had an idea last night.” The king breaks the silence. “Once we are back at the kingdom, how about we arrange a joust? To welcome everyone that will help arrange the wedding. I'll help everyone to cheer up a bit.” He asks, looking at you.

“A joust?” You ask a bit surprised by the offer. There is still a sour taste on your tongue, it is only for the wedding, so people like him more. But again, he is asking you. Not for your consent, he would do it anyway. But to make you feel like you are actually heard. His voice saying “We are more powerful together than against each other” comes to mind, and you decide to play along: “Sure, that sounds fun.” 

[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

Yes, we have a lot of December left, but I don't think anything else I want to check out will air before 2024 hits (it's cdrama so caveat is - you never know.)

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it's not on the list. This was a pretty good cdrama year, all in all.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

30 legend of twin flower - Not dignifying that drama with capital letters, as the only capital that should be associated with this is capital punishment - which is what watching this feels like.

29 Dominator of Martial Gods - sounds like a bdsm gay porn title. Would probably be better acted and written if it was.

28 Beauty of Resilience - you'd need a lot of said resilience to sit through this incoherent, barely acted mess. The thing that I remember the most other than my annoyance is all the jingly-jangly head gear on JJY. Perhaps they could have sold some of them and spent the money on a better script.

27 Divine Destiny - if you think you have too many brain cells and want to get rid of some, boy do I have a drama for you!

26 Wanru’s Journey - honestly it's probably tied with SEL - I mean it's worse but it has actors who are nowhere as well known and a fraction of SEL's budget. Still, this is a big fat nope. I will not say what I think of Aoi Rupeng's "acting" or I'd have to put money in the curse jar.

25 Snow Eagle Lord - Gulinazha's stone face, nonsense plot, terrible CGI. Take your pick as to why this is terrible.

24 Scent of Time - it was uneven but fun but then that ending was dumb enough to destroy the whole thing. Show me on the doll where common sense hurt you, makers!

23 Royal Rumors - Jeremy Tsui and Meng Ziyi are utterly wasted in this nothing trifle of a drama.

22 Legend of Anle - I had high expectations but alas. This is the drama version of color beige. There is nothing offensive about it but nothing good either. Mediocre actors are mediocre, good actors become mediocre, this is just a waste of our finite time on planet earth.

21 Romance on the Farm - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like this wholesome slice of farming family life, but it's tailored to trigger every one of my "nope" opinions.

20 Back from the Brink - if I were 12, it would be my favorite thing. I am not 12.

19 Journey of Chong Zi - objectively a terrible drama with plot holes the size of Mars and a leading lady whose face has apparently frozen when the wind changed. But I am a total sucker for the trope of upright shizun falling for his demonic disciple and going mental so here we are. Objectively, garbage, subjectively my precious!

18 Love you Seven Times - just call poor Ding Yuxi "Atlas," he carried this mess so hard.

17 Blooming Days - trashy dogblood harem fight fun throwback. It's not that great (and the fact that it was shredded doesn't help) but it's probably the last gasp of that genre for the foreseeable future, so I am grading on a curve.

16 The Starry Love - a fun fantasy where the secondary OTP stole the thunder but overall a really solid fantasy xianxia romance.

15 The Longest Promise - it could have been better - the secondaries were unbearable and there was too much of them and what they did with Alen Fang's character still gives me rage fits, but the main couple was impeccable and lovely and I rooted so hard for them.

14 Chang Feng Du/Destined - visually gorgeous, solidly acted, impeccable first half. Bland as hell second half. Win some, lose some.

13 Circle of Love - this drama is a nonsense trash heap on fire. After a typhoon hit it. It was also the most entertaining, addicting drama on this whole list.

12 Hidden Love - the sole modern on this list, this story has barely any plot but it made me care about the young, decent lovers so hard.

11 Choice Husband - starts out wacky, continues with angst and blood and happy ending. I loved it, but I've always had a soft spot for melo and schemers turning devoted.

10 Pledge of Allegiance - bromance, super solid acting, visuals, a really dark take on officials and the world. Insanely underrated.

9 Provoke - a truly fun Republican revenge and love tale, showing that short format can be wonderful.

8 Gone with the Rain - some of the secondary characters are rage-inducing (hi there, cardboard boy!) but the scheming, ruthless, vulgar FL is amazing and her slowburn with her age gap general who is delighted by her out-there-ness is great!

7 Wonderland of Love - Fei Wo Si Cun goes wholesome and the result is surprisingly entertaining. Battle couple, glorious visuals, a fast paced plot. It's the first Xu Kai drama I enjoyed in years (and he plays a rare cdrama ML it would be pretty neat to pair up with in rl.)

6 My Journey to You - that ending is infuriating (and I am OK with open endings if done properly) but what a visual feast, probably the most gloriously shot drama on this list, and that's a tough competition. Also it packs a hell of a lot of couples and familial and adversarial relationships into its slim running time; assassin lady won over by a gentle man is my favorite trope and so this is extra great.

5. Till the End of the Moon - the ending is a rage-inducing disaster for me, but this drama was the most incredibly emotionally intense, visually eye popping experience. It was deeply flawed but when it was amazing, it was like nothing else in its visuals, its characters and its narratives. It took insane risks; some paid off and some did not, but it was glorious.

4. Story of Kunning Palace - I don't often care for reverse harem stories but this one was such fun - the main OTP was glorious (strong FL, unhinged ML) but honestly everything about this was just so excellently done.

3. The Ingenious One - the most adult drama on this list. Smart protagonists, intelligent plot, emotions that felt true, this is a revenge and a mystery and found family and goes into so many directions you do not expect (Su Mengyu's PTSD after his first kill - that is something you never see in dramas, definitely not prolonged and profound - not like this.) If I was to say which drama was objectively the best on this list, as opposed to favorite, it would be this.

1 (tie) Lost You Forever 1 - this is an exquisite emotional jewel of a story about damaged people moving forward, with damage always present - their past informs their present and always will. The narrative about Xiao Yao and three very different men in her life makes me think that it's an equivalent of a neutron bomb going off right before the main narrative starts and now we are watching the survivors wander in the wreckage. This is very high fantasy setting but it's one of the most emotionally human narratives out there.

1 A Journey to Love - everything I ever wanted - assassins, ride or die adult OTP with genuine believable conflicts, great and complex secondaries, beautiful fights. Oh, and yeah Liu Shi Shi domming the hell out of every man in a ten mile radius, as she should.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It's a tie between Lost You Forever Part 1 and A Journey to Love. LYF1 is a bona fide art piece but it's only part 1 and who knows if part 2 will be any good (seeing the huge ep number cut, I have my doubts) and so it's incomplete. AJTL is an old school wuxia romance with incredibly competent, adult people in love and great cast of secondaries. I can't pick.

WORST DRAMA

romance of twin flower - this is a drama that should not exist. If I could hex everyone involved with it, I would. It's a terrible, stupid, shrill, badly acted drama to start with, but where it really is catapulted into stratosphere of horror is that is took my very favorite non-danmei web novel of all time, a smart and complicated tale with incredible protagonists and turned it into that barftastic abomination. Peng Xiao Ran kept making horrible drama after horrible drama but I kept giving her a chance because of Goodbye My Princess but after this disaster, I've had to accept GMP was a fluke and she is on my "if she's in it, I am out” list. Ding Yuxi is not that far yet (his performance in Seven Lifetimes was the one thing carrying that mess afloat) but he's on freaking thin ice. Anyway, I like to pretend this drama does not exist.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

It was hard because there were so many I loved this year - Deng Wei's traumatized, gentle Seventeen from LYF1 (if someone told me I'd swoon and weep for a character played by Deng Wei, I'd have told them to examine their brains asap), Liu Yuning's incredibly capable, deadly, contained Ning Yuanzhou from AJTL, Zhang Linghe's unhinged Xie Wei from SoKP, Chen Xiao's schemer with a heart Yun Xiang from TIO.

But ultimately, it couldn't be anyone else but Luo Yunxi as Tantai Jin/Demon God/Ming Ye/Cang Jiumin in Till the End of the Moon. He was everything - a demon, a saint, a martyr, a monster, a tormented abuse victim, a savior, joyful, unhinged, smart, pitiable. It was the cdrama performance of the year for me. Luo Yunxi even in a mediocre role is impressive but in a complex (series of) role(s) designed for his strengths, he is a force of nature.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Yao (Lost You Forever Part 1). Once again, there were runner ups - Bai Lu's smart a little evil FL in Kunning, the gloriously unhinged assassin domme Liu Shi Shi in AJTL, Esther Yu's assassin longing for a different life in MJTY etc etc etc. But Xiao Yao's damaged, difficult, very self-aware woman stole my heart. I was skeptical going in because I haven't enjoyed a Yang Zi performance in a long time, but she was the wounded beating soul of this incredible drama.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Where do we start? How about all of Seventeen's (LYF1) monster family? His brother, who tortured him for years physically and emotionally to such a degree his body is a horror map and his personality is permanently altered because "mommy liked you better." Psycho mother who created a situation where the kids were going to turn on each other and "let's get my grandson raped" grandma. Where is a well-placed meteorite when you need one.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xiao Yao/Seventeen, LYF1. Yes, a ship of characters played by Yang Zi and Deng Wei is my favorite. Leave me alone, I am on my tenth helping of crow already. They are both incredibly damaged, barely functioning survivors who find what they need in the other - he finds a savior and someone who sees him as a man and rebuilds himself around her and she finds someone who will always put her first and only, and subsume himself in her. Is it healthy? No. Does it make sense for them and is it making them slowly functional? Yes.

Runner up: Ren Ruyi/Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL - two adults, so competent, so chemistry full. She has so much damage and so little normalcy but is so strong and he is oddly gentle (in between murders) and incredibly self-reflective. They are each other's mirrors and I love them.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Su Mingyu/Ke Menglan, The Ingenious One - the idealistic merchant who wants to join jianghu until he sees its horrors firsthand and a slave entertainer who wants security but decides she wants him more. They are gorgeous and glorious and wholesome and I adore them.

Runner up: Liu Gong Quan/Ming Zhu, The Ingenious One - that drama was a shippy gift, especially impressive considering it wasn't even romance-centric. He's the officer who has to bring down her treasonous father but loves her. Delicious.

Another runner up is Chao Feng/Qian Kui, the angelic good girl and the scheming bad boy in The Starry Love. They stole the drama from the main OTP for me.

NOTP

Scent of Time endgame. What the hell was even that. It made NO sense.

FAVORITE SCENE

So many good scenes this year - Tantai Jin taking apart Li Susu in prison in TTEOTM, the OTP fighting in perfect sync and insane rhythm in the gorge battle in AJTL, Chen Ruoxuan's character stopping the execution in Pledge, Yan Lin's coming of age in Kunning, the poison/antidote "gamble" in MJTY, Cang Xuan detoxing in LYF1. But I think ultimately, me being who I am, my favorite scene is Xiao Yao kissing Seventeen's damaged, scarred knee to show he is in no way inferior for her. AAAAA!

In terms of pure jaw dropping visuals tho nothing will ever beat Ming Ye’s battle against the Devil God in TTEOTM.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL. He's sexy as hell (that height, that way he moves in battle) but he's also so incredibly competent, so adult, so self-reflective and so attracted to a woman for her strength. He also gets whumped on the reg. Anyway, my hormones are ready.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Gong Yuanzhi (My Journey to You) - I loved the unhinged, brocon poison boy. He was everything. Also Yan Lin (Kunning) - talk about sunshine; I totally got why all these people felt they needed to save him.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

My Journey to You - what the HELL was that ending?

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

legend of twin flower - that is, stab it with scissors like it stabbed the novel until it's dead.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Till the End of the Moon - they clearly cut stuff to fit into the new regs about runtime and it made the last 1/5 rather abrupt. Gimme!

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

The emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country!

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

This is the year of a ML who yearns to be dommed by his FL. Long may it continue.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

The Legend of Anle - the novel had a great plot, the cast were all actors I either enjoy a lot or somewhat and we got - whatever that soggy piece of wonderbread toast was.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

LYF1 - I only checked out to mock because nobody could explain the story to me and nobody in the cast did anything I like either ever or in years. And then I fell utterly and completely in love and had to eat so much delicious crow.

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

Ancient Love Song is the only one on that list. It looks really good, I just need to brace myself.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

The Imperial Doctoress - best slowburn and pining and glorious character development and adult leads.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Anticipating any nonaired cdrama is a mug's game but if they air, I will definitely check out all the Fox Matchmaker dramas, LYF2, JoL2 and The Last Immortal. If Prisoner of Beauty ever is allowed out of the vault (dubious), it goes on the list too.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Not what I expected.

Eris week day 6, arranged marriage.

Summary: Y/n has never met any of the royals of Autumn Court, but she will soon, because her father has sold her off to the eldest son of the High Lord. And she can do nothing but go through the marriage.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: Again, first time participating in a character week, and thank you @erisweek2023 for hosting this event! It's soo much fun. Hope you all have fun too!

Also, can you tell I have never had a close encounter with dogs? Like, I know little to nothing about them, so I hope this is realistic enough.

Anyways, enjoy!

•○🌑○•

Y/n stared at the door. She had been staring for quite some time now, long enough that her eyes were starting to cross.

She sighed, rubbing her eyes. She just wanted to go to sleep, but she couldn't. Not until her husband arrived.

That was one of the most important roles she had been taught. Never do anything before your husband's permission and approval.

She had known nothing about her wedding until a week ago, when her mother had walked into her room and told her that they had finally found a suitor for her.

The whole week had been filled with dress fitting sessions, mannerism classes and classes on what to do to please your husband.

She had learned these things before, knowing she would probably get wed into an elite family, but now that she was wed to a Royal, those classes had been extra hard.

A knock on the door sounded, and she got up to check. It definitely was not going to be her new husband, considering these were his quarters and he didn't need to knock.

A pretty female stood on the other side of the door, wearing a dress that barely left anything to the imagination. It was similar to what Y/n wore under her silk robe.

The female twisted a stand of her blond hair between her long fingers, trying her best to look coy. But Y/n saw right through her. Her eyes were sharp and cunning, shining with mirth as if she knew something no one else did.

"Is the high Lord here yet?"

Y/n eyed the female. "No."

"That's unfortunate."

"May I ask who you are?"

"Emily. You can call me Em." And then, she added, a smug smile on her face. "His favourite attendant."

"Attendant..." Y/n raised her brows.

"He prefers me over the others." Emily gestured towards a corner nearby where a couple of girls in a similar attire to hers chatted among themselves.

What?

Y/n didn't get it at first, but then she realised. These were concubines.

She couldn't even understand why she was surprised. Of course the high lord would have them. He didn't marry Y/n because he wanted a relationship or anything like that. He was just doing what was expected of him. Marry and pop out as many children as he could.

And of course, he wouldn't stop taking concubines to bed just because he was promised to someone else. He would probably want someone experienced to see to his needs and wants. Not someone who was forbidden from dallying in such activities so she could be pure when she was finally married to the highest bidder.

Someone like her.

"Oh. I see."

Emily smirked. "I guess if he hasn't arrived yet, I'll just have to wait. I apologise for disturbing you. I am sorry."

No you're not.

Y/n's eyes narrowed. This female didn't look apologetic in the slightest.

From the smirk on her face, she had done this just so she could irk Y/n. That was the most understandable excuse.

"I'll leave you to enjoy your time then. Have a good night, my lady."

Y/n nodded slowly. "You too."

She closed the door before returning to her spot on the couch.

The couch was near the fireplace, making it warm and comfortable. There were three doors in the chamber. Two of them led to huge bedrooms, one leading to an office.

She had looked around an hour after she arrived in the chamber she was to share with her new husband, bored. It had almost been three hours now, and still he wasn't here.

She sighed and continued staring the door.

•○🌑○•

Eris's pov.

Fatigue weighed down Eris as he walked towards his chamber.

The day had been exhausting to say the least. First, he had multiple meetings before he had to be wed to a female his advisors council chose. And then, again, he had been swept up in countless meetings.

He had been High Lord for almost three months when the advisors finally decided to try and persuade him to get married, as no High Lord is supposed to be without an heir for long.

He didn't even know the female who had taken the vows with him. He knew nothing of the one who had bound herself to him for the rest of their lives except that her name was Y/n. Beautiful name, if he dared say so.

He had almost forgotten that he now had a wife after the long day of countless meetings until one of the advisors, a younger one, had wiggled his eyebrows and said 'have a good night my lord. Or dare I say, pleasurable?'

He had only realised what that was supposed to mean when he was all alone and walking to his room. If he hadn't been so tired or if he'd realised the bastard's meaning sooner, he would have hunted the rat down and flayed him for that.

He sighed as he turned into the hallway to his chambers, hoping to get some rest before he was expected to be up in a few hours.

But of course, the attendants were waiting to pounce on him.

He glared as they formed a ring around him, batting their eyelashes and trying to get his attention, caressing any part of his body they could reach.

It's a blessing they haven't already fallen to their knees and–

"Don't bother the High Lord. You already know he doesn't fancy you all." A voice calls, and the females fawning over him part to reveal a barely clothed Emily. Eris stopped himself from scowling. Barely.

"Emily." He said, emotionless. But on the inside, he was itching to incinerate her. Sure, she's been a good distraction, great even, what with her knowledge and experience in the bedroom. But when he found her acting as if he loved her, as if she was the next Lady of Autumn, he was pissed. He had never done anything to make her that delusional, and he'd been trying to avoid her since then.

It didn't help that she always showed up outside of his door.

"How would you like to–" She began, but Eris eyed her before turning and walking into his chamber.

He rubbed his brows as he stepped into the room, then froze when he found someone resting on his couch. For a moment, he was dumbfounded. Then he realised who it was. His new wife.

Emily continued talking, and when he turned to look at her, he found her trying to walk in behind him. When she saw him looking at her, she quieted, her mouth still hanging open as if she was stopped mid sentence. Eris gave her a look that would've sent powerful men running before slamming the door in her gaping face.

A startled gasp pierced the momentary silence, and he turned to look at the now awake Y/n.

She stared at him with wide eyes, her hands gripping the fabric of the couch.

"My–my Lord." She scrambled to stand, the silk robe she wore slipping from one shoulder.

She didn't seem to notice, but that was all Eris could look at.

She seemed to have a nightgown underneath, which, from what he could see, hardly seemed to cover anything. The parted robe had revealed her shoulder and a little bit of her chest. The thing was only held up by barely there thin straps on her shoulder. He realised he was staring and forced himself to look up.

"Why are you here?" He barked, quite harshly.

But that was how he was supposed to be.

He felt bad for a moment when hurt seemed to cross her features, but he didn't care. Couldn't care. Not for anyone. Not for her.

She blinked. "My lord?"

"I said why are you here? Why are you not sleeping in your room?"

"I– I wasn't supposed to sleep without– asking you first."

"Asking me what?"

"If you had any need of me..."

Eris cocked his head. "Need of you?"

Y/n swallowed, then glanced towards his bedroom.

"Ah." He realised what she meant. He gave her a cruel smirk, despite his brain wondering what she would feel like on–

"Do you even know anything about it?"

She swallowed again. "I..."

He huffed a laugh. "If I had any need, I have plenty of people who would love to help me out. I can very well take care of those needs myself."

She looked like she was about to cry, but she nodded nonetheless and spoke in a shaky but strong voice, which piqued his interest. This female was definitely something. Something more than the timid act she put up. "So if you have no need of me, may I go–"

"Go." He snapped. "And don't bother me."

She nodded, but Eris had already begun walking towards his office and locked himself in.

There, he put up a sound shield. He tested it before he let go of the tension in his shoulders and sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

What have I gotten myself into.

•○🌑○•

He woke up to the feeling of the chair digging in his back. But he also felt the warmth of a blanket and his toes freed from the confinement of his boots.

He immediately jerked up, his eyes scanning the room. Someone had been in here while he slept.

Last night, after he had entered his office, he had decided to wait there for sometime and sort some papers out before going to sleep. But he was too tired to do any of that, and had slept in his chair.

He had gone to sleep with his boots on and no blanket.

He'll have to look into the security of the place.

He laced his boots quickly before walking to his room and getting changed after a quick bath.

Once he was done, he decided that checking on his hounds was more important than anyone's security, and so he walked towards where they were kept in his private lawn.

As he walked towards the kennels, he slowed his pace and strained his ears. Someone was here.

He walked quicker, making sure not to make noise as he turned the corner and found a female frozen, staring at his hounds. They were also still, staring at the female.

Y/n.

His blood boiled at the thought of anyone coming near his hounds, but he forced himself to calm down and walk to where she stood.

As soon as the hounds saw him, they began barking and racing towards him. Y/n hadn't noticed him yet.

As soon as she saw the dogs running towards him, and, in turn, her, she turned and began running too. When she spied him watching all of this, she quickly grabbed his hands and hid behind him.

"Do something!"

He raised a brow, even though she could not see. "Like what?"

"Anything! Get them away!"

"You're afraid of them?"

He felt her nodding against his back.

"Please, do something–"

He sighed, irritated.

"They are mine. They will not do anything."

"How do you know that? They could be in the mood to bite someone!"

"The–the mood to bite someone?" He asked, incredulous, as his hounds came to settle down near his feet, eyeing the female hiding behing him. "That's stupid. They don't bite unless you give them a reason to. They're very nice."

"They don't look nice." She mumbled, peeking around his biceps.

"I'm trying not to get offended by that."

He mentally smacked himself for that. He was being too gentle. He couldn't do that and have her thinking there was any potential for a relationship between them.

But no matter what he told himself, he couldn't pull away from her tiny hands clutching his forearms.

He sighed again after a few moments before grabbing her hand and dragging her forward.

"What are you doing?!" She screeched.

"Trying to get your fear out."

Eris tugged her hand towards one of his female hounds, Amber, trying to get Y/n to pet her. But Y/n dug her heels into the ground, trying to pull her hand away. "No. No no no." She chanted again and again.

He was now getting frustrated. "Come on, they're not that scary."

When he glanced back at her, he realised there were tears in her eyes. He blinked, then stopped trying to get her to touch them.

"Why are you crying... they're just creatures who won't bother you until you bother them..." He hadn't realised that it was such a sensitive topic for her.

"It's not them... not really. I've just always been scared of creatures with sharp teeth." She said between panting breaths.

"You could try to get rid of the fear."

"Why do you want me to touch them?" Her eyes simmered with anger as she turned to him. He was taken aback by the intensity in those beautiful eyes.

Beautiful? They can't be beautiful. Not for you. He told himself. If you let yourself think that way, those beautiful eyes would soon be filled with even more tears. Or they'll be lifeless.

Shaking his head, he wondered that himself. Why the hell was he so interested in getting her fear out?

He sighed. Turning away from her and letting go of her completely, he said. "Go. Leave."

She didn't. Instead she stood and watched as Eris took care of his hounds, doing all the necessary work.

After almost an hour or two, as Eris was trying to leave, he spied her watching him intently. He faltered, but before he could look away, she approached him.

"Are you sure they will not bite?"

A foreign feeling erupted in Eris's belly, and he cleared his throat. "Yes, I am sure."

She eyed the hounds who lingered nearby, then nodded, as if trying to convince herself.

"I'll make you a deal."

"A deal?" He probably sounded stupid, but he couldn't come up with a better response. No one, absolutely no one in his entire lifetime had spoken Eris is in such a way.

She lifted her chin. "Yes, a deal. I will try to face my fear, like you wanted me to, and in return, you will not be an asshole."

He blinked. She really was something. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I say so."

He raised his brows. He studied her for a moment.

A flush had climbed up Y/n's neck, and she looked breathless.

"So? Do you accept?"

He sighed. "Fine."

She held out her hand, and he eyed it before taking it and pulling her towards the hounds nearby.

He crouched, then tugged her hand to make her crouch as well. She did.

When he looked over at her, he found her eyes filled with fear. Her other hand came up to clutch his arm tightly when he lifted her hand towards the gentlest hound he owned, a female who had recently given birth.

"Her name is Amber. She recently gave birth, and is the most caring and, as you say, nicest, of the pack."

Eris felt her hand shaking, and despite himself, he ran his thumb over her hand, trying to calm her.

He held her much smaller hand in his as her fingers connected with the fur on Amber's head, and Amber seemed to smile. It felt like a smile to Eris, at the very least.

Y/n was stiff, to the point where Eris felt her discomfort just by looking at her.

The two of them stayed there for sometime, caressing Amber's head, until Eris had to leave for a meeting.

As he stood to leave, she jumped up as well, her fingers tight on his sleeve.

He nearly rolled his eyes before turning and leaving, her following behind. She kept looking behind her, as if she would find the hounds running to bite her.

Y/n sprinted through the doors of the fortress as soon as it was within sight.

He shook his head, trying to hide his amusement.

He found her panting just inside the door, her chest heaving. He looked away.

"They're scary."

"Then you should have left. I told you to leave. Why didn't you?"

"If I had left, I wouldn't have seen you playing with them, I wouldn't have known what kind of person you were."

He narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Y/n shrugged. "I just am really good at reading people. You don't seem like the person you pretend to be."

His heart stopped for a moment before starting back up. "Then you must not be good at all when it comes to reading people."

She simply smiled. "Your hounds scared me really bad. Bet they come in handy for scaring people."

"You shouldn't judge them by heir looks. You shouldn't judge anyone if you don't know enough about them."

"Yet you let people judge you when they know nothing about you."

"That is because what they think is true." His heart was doing happy little backflips in his chest.

Be still, you little bastard. He chided in his mind.

"Keep telling yourself that." She took a step closer, and his breath hitched, staring deep into her eyes. "But I'll never belive that."

She smiled and patted his cheek before turning away. "Oh, also. We'll meet at this time tomorrow as well?"

He narrowed his eyes when she turned halfway. "What for?"

"Are we not trying to get my fear of hounds out?"

He didn't know what to say. Which was a first. Never in his life had he ever been dumbfounded.

She looked like she was holding back a laugh. "We'll meet here tomorrow at the same time then. Husband."

His heart made a loud thump at that. "S–sure."

Sure? He wanted to kick himself between his legs. He didn't want to spend more time with her than was strictly necessary. He would only be fuelling whatever idea she had in her mind.

He took a deep breath, trying to get a hold of his thoughts.

"You aren't what I thought you would be like. You are even acting differently than yesterday."

She smiled. "Yesterday I didn't know if you were just like your father or you were a good man. Now I do. Thanks to your hounds."

That was when he remembered something. He had heard that her family also had a pack of dogs, not ones like his hounds, but similar nonetheless.

"You– you shouldn't be scared of hounds. You had dogs before–" He accused.

She just turned away, a smirk on her face. "Have a good day."

"You too..."

Eris watched as she sauntered away, her hips swaying.

He didn't know what to make of the conversation, but he did know one thing.

The way forward would be... interesting.

•○🌑○•

He held her much smaller hand in his as her fingers connected with the fur on Raven's –Amber's daughter's– head, and Raven seemed to smile. It felt like a smile to Eris, at the very least.

The girl in his arms squealed happily, and the two boys nearby looked over with smiles on their faces.

"You like her?" He questioned.

"Yes daddy! She is so cute and soft."

Olive, the second youngest of Eris and Y/n's children, was a daddy's girl through and through.

In the years since their marriage, the couple had become parents to two sets of twins. The first set, both boys, Maple and Sawyer, were nearby, and they adored their younger siblings.

The younger set of twins, Cormac and Olive, had been born only a couple of years ago.

Leaves crunched nearby, and Eris glanced up to find Y/n walking towards them, Cormac in her arms, giggling.

Cormac loved his mother so much that if she was away for longer than an hour, he would scream loud enough so that the whole of Autumn Court would be able to hear it.

Y/n set Cormac down, who gave his father a toothy smile as he stumbled towards Maple, who was the closest to him.

Sawyer plucked Olive from Eris's lap and walked towards where Maple and Cormac were talking.

Eris smiled at Y/n as they watched the children, the older ones nodding to what the younger ones were saying.

Eris stood, slipping an arm around his wife and mate, leaning close. Y/n's eyes widened as she glanced at the kids then back to Eris.

"Not in front of them Eris–"

"They can close their eyes." With that, Eris captured his wife's lips with his.

Soon enough, gagging sounds interrupted them, and he heard tiny feet sprinting closer. He pulled away, grinning, to find Olive almost upon them.

"No kissing mommy, daddy. Its disgusting." She put one of her fists onto her little hip and the other pointed at the two of them threateningly.

"I told daddy not to kiss me, he didn't listen." Y/n piped up, and Eris glared at her accusingly.

Olive turned to her father and pointed the chubby little finger towards him. It wasn't as intimidating, considering she barely was half his height.

Before Olive could speak, Sawyer picked her up and ran out. Maple and Cormac followed the two out, but not before Maple winked at his mother cheekily.

She was blushing by the time Eris turned back to her.

He smirked at her and she shook her head. Not giving him time to act on any of his wishes, she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest.

"I love you."

He smiled, kissing the top of her head. "I love you more. And I will be eternally grateful for the family you have provided me with."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he shut her up with a kiss.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @imma-too-many-fandoms

[casper-spills]

| Tarot Cards: Places they represent |

✩░▒▓▆▅▃▂▁𝟑𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥!▁▂▃▅▆▓▒░✩

Hey guys! Welcome back to another post ♡

We reached 300 followers! And I'm gonna do a special for you guys because I seriously am so grateful for all of your support. My blog has been growing so fast and I literally never expected to be where I am today. Thank you! ♡

This post will be a little different to my usual stuff. I was thinking I might start a series like this where I give some tips on how to read your tarot! I'll also include the sources I use at the end in case you wanted to check those out too.

Anyway, here is a list of places that the cards represent ♡

Sincerely,

Cassy the friendly ghost ♡

✦Masterlist ✦Paid Readings ✦Support me through Kofi

𓆩♡𓆪 𝙎𝙐𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙍 𝘿𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙊𝙐𝙉𝙏 50% 𝙊𝙁𝙁 !! 𓆩♡𓆪

Ends on September 22nd

| KO-FI SHOP |

| MAJOR ARCANA |

1. Magician - Kitchen, labatory, shows, music, magic, performances

2. High Priestess - Secret place, secret society, library, somewhere quiet, reading rooms, theatre, halls

3. Empress - Old/stately homes, old school building, old hospital building, boutique, beauty parlor, restaurants

4. Emperor - Royal palace, business establishments, schools, univerisity

5. Heirophant - Church, univeristy, temple, place of worship, corporate building

6. Lovers - Sweet shop, date locations, love hotel, honeymoon places

7. Chariot - Car ralley, racing fixtures, garages, horse racing, highway

8. Strength - Zoo, petting zoos, gym, fitness studios

9. Hermit - Cave, retreat centres, hill walking

10. Wheel - Ferris wheels, london eye, casino, lottery tickets, shops selling wheels

11. Justice - Court, arbitration offices, counselling institution, police department

12. Hanged Man - Bungee jumping, sky diving, thrilling activities

13. Death - Church yard, funeral parlor, butcher, cemetary

14. Temperance - Cocktail bar, queues, waiting rooms, chemist dispensary

15. Devil - Adult shops, clubs, casinos, brothel, strip clubs

16. Tower - Chop shops, tall buildings, skyscrapers, stormy areas, fire

17. Star - Water, ocean, river, stargazing

18. Moon - Nighttime, stargazing, movie, stage, theatre

19. Sun - Birth centre, midwifery unti, hospital, holidays, tanning booths, abroad

20. Judgement - Rehabilitation centres, church, treament centres, spa

21. World - Airport, flying, dance studios

| MINOR ARCANA |

☁︎ 𝒔𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 ☁︎

Ace - Editor's room, skyscrapers, office, library, radio tower

Two - Statue of liberty, new york, seashore

Three - Hospital, rainy place, cloudy areas

Four - Bedroom, quiet places, funeral parlor

Five - Debate club, near water, themepark, competitive environments

Six - Boats, river, cruisers

Seven - Archery, secret location, casino, bomb shelter

Eight - Prison, therapy

Nine - Psychiatric hospital, confessional

Ten - Surgery room, accupuncture clinic, dentists

Page - Fraternity, rowdy places, sports arena

Knight - Windy places, windmills

Queen - Fenced off places, great walls, boundaries, spikes fences

King - Lawyers office

🕯 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔 🕯

Ace - Workshop, construction site

Two - Balcony, overseas, historical travel, boat

Three - Seaside, boat travel

Four - Fastfood, cafe, outdoors, wedding, celebration

Five - Sport centre, pool game

Six - Market, downtown, show, event, someone/something noticable

Seven - Competitive/violent environment

Eight - Road trip, highway

Nine - Competitive environment, barrier, wall, bouncer, high security

Ten - Workplace, labour, sweatshop

Page - Disco, dance, party

Knight - Hot and dry place, bonfire, abroad, holiday

Queen - Social events

King - Active place, fast moving environments

꒦꒷ 𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒔 ꒷꒦

Ace - Lake, pond, birdbath, birds

Two - Luxury, home, common dating places

Three - Bar, pub, party

Four - Under a tree, graveyard

Five - A place of regret, place of bad memories, hospital, flooded areas, bridge, after party cleanup, alone in a bar

Six - Flourists, schoolyard, playground, nostalgic places

Seven - Highup places, views, drug suppliers, spots where people do drugs, drug shops

Eight - Bookstore, library, cave, quiet

Nine - Bar, party, pub, dinner, home

Ten - Family gatherings, park, outdoor, bbq party

Page - Aquariums, fish tanks, sea parks

Knight - Picnics, peaceful/romantic areas

Queen - Bathtub with cancles, home, skinny dipping, swimming

King - Beach, lake

˗ˏˋ 𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒔 ˎˊ˗

Ace - Dispensary, bank, currency exchange centre

Two - Circus, arcade, carnival

Three - Fashion show runway, art gallery, boutique, museum

Four - Uncle scrooge's home, gold reserves, saferoom, secret hideout, vault

Five - The streets, people living in powerty, homeless spots,

Six - Pawn shops, currency exchange shops, trade stores

Seven - Nursery, orchard

Eight - workshop, construction site

Nine - Gardens, green parks

Ten - Market

Page - Field, farm, family business

Knight - Workplace, chores, school

Queen - Home, nursery room

King - Bank manager's office

♥Thank you for your support!♥

Dividers by @cafekitsune, @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Source

[fatgumsurpremacy-remastered]

Listen dude listen-

Yandere Vox with a fat fem reader is insane to meeeee I need to write

Tw: Vox being creepy, time period fat phobia (1950s), 50s diet culture shit, reader doesn’t fucking care bc that shit was stupid and the only time she’s self conscious is when Vox is being gross n weird, Gossip, inappropriate behavior, stalking, coercion (nonsexual), noncon touching, Vox saying nasty shit but no actual smut, hypno later in the story.

When You’re Just You- Yandere Vox x Fat Fem reader

Being alive was always a hassle, and being dead was even worse. Because in death you realized quickly that the freak on TV was the same freak who plagued your existence when you were alive… and he was untouchable.

When you were alive you lived in a teeny tiny little suburban neighborhood; with white picket fences and houses in pretty neat rows. You were surprised your parents made it to the neighborhood but supposed you’d be grateful for the gifts god had given you. So you grew up, graduated high school and delved headfirst into the 1950’s!

What a time to be alive.

Men fawned over ladies they saw at the parlor or even at the grocers, with little respect for themselves making it a sight to see a man fumble only to speak to you normally.

Because you- were approachable.

At least from what they could see.

Yes, they’d grown to expect a petite woman with 'flowy' dresses and perfect hair. A beautiful skirt, they chased, hoping to catch and mount like a trophy on the wall. To their credit- a good amount of women in your town fit the bill- and let you know it. Though that truly didn’t matter, you’d smile happily at them and tell them they were lucky, and loved, and beautiful.

But you’d throw in just how nice your dress looked on you and with that they’d compliment right back. While some were backhanded others genuinely agreed, and those were the ladies you spent your time around.

Men seemed to not care and would spare you only 'good mornings', or quick and casual chats at the diner when their fling hadn’t waltzed in.

It was cozy until they made comments that would make you screw up your face in disgust.

“And I suppose you’d know all about a woman’s body wouldn’t you Dick?”

The man would pull at his tie with a sheepish grin, turning away in embarrassment, not bothering to close the conversation. And for a while- it was nice.

Till Tom Leery introduced you to a friend of his. The man was only introduced as Vox- a nickname obtained in high school; a tv salesman extraordinaire, and an eligible bachelor of 34.

When Tom broached the subject to you on a sunny afternoon visit to your parents porch to deliver some mail you’d wanted to scoff.

“Please Tommy, you hardly speak of me much less brag about me. How would this man even know I exist!” But Tom would insist-

“I’m tellin you! He popped up one day and started yappin away about you. He’s love sick, and has been crawling up my spine beggin me to ask you to see him for a date!” Tom begged, hands clasped together so hard you could see them going from white to red, to white again.

And so you relented.

You’d see this “eligible bachelor” and tell him off so royally for ruining an evening you could spend listening to jazz and shooting it with your family.

But when you went outside that fateful night you thought your eyes decived you. A handsome man in a boxy navy suit, light blue undershirt, and a red tie. His black hair seemed to catch every highlight from his outfit. He was more tan than others but his eyes were this... piercing blue.

He looked like a regular Superman, and his smile fit the bill.

It was a damn shame his mouth didn’t.

That’s why your father didn’t approve.

The moment he caught your form he smiled wildly, and it would’ve been a small fairytale moment had it not been for the sharp whistle that came after.

“Well! Look who it is, how are you doing gorgeous?” And for a moment you were flabbergasted, you checked behind you to only spot your animals in the window, and dad barely hidden in the small crack of the doorway.

“Excuse me?” You’d say to his amusement as he started his way up to your home.

“Gorgeous!” He’d repeat, before stopping in front of you, tall, broad frame leering over you before he’d take your hand and give it a kiss that lasted entirely too long. You’d ponder giving the date up and moving back inside had it not been for Tom’s insistence. “You ready to burn rubber?”

“I’d rather not be in the car with an arsonist thank you.” You replied, and the response etched itself into a part of Vox’s brain.

“Smart woman!” He’d say, which would've sound condescending if it weren’t for his posture, stiff and shaking, eyes lidded and foot tapping impatiently. “Should’ve known you’d be witty, not like the rest of the girls here huh?”

And that wouldve rubbed you the wrong way. Had you been less polite you might have bit out a cutting remark on his own beauty, but you held back. After all it was time you let yourself be treated to something nice.

So soon you were off. And the date started when his black Coronet whizzed down the road, barely giving you time to click into the front seat and adjust to your chair.

“So- what’s your favorite time of day? You got a favorite dog breed? If you were put in a room with 3 men who would you feel safest around and haha- you don’t have to say me. I wouldn’t be offended. If you did though- why?” Vox would spew questions at a rate that made you wonder if he just liked hearing himself talk- meaning you barely got time to answer one before he insufferably pulled you up and into a huge restaurant nearly two towns over.

“This is a tad-“

“Shabby? Yeah I called for reservations uptown but your dad said no. So here we are,” Vox would sigh as if your father’s judgement was so wrong before smiling again and grabbing your hands with his, “But maybe you can convince him to let us next time!”

Reservations grasped at the strung nerves in your body the more time you spent with him, as his hand met yours any chance it could get. As he yapped away about sales and meetings, or pitches for shows that he would air on tv.

“So I sent the script into Dan around two o’clock that afternoon and he never got back to me!”

“Uh huh…”

“What kind of a cop out is that? You think you know a guy… do you want to hear what it’s about?”

“Have you even ordered yet?” He’d be taken aback by this, smiling shyly before coming back full force.

“I’ve actually been waiting to see what you’re getting… I have trust in your appetite…”

The insinuation wasn’t lost on you, it surprised you however- was his tone alongside the hand that only seemed to crawl further up your arm resting on the table.

One you withdrew quickly into yourself as you blinked owlishly back at him.

“I’m sorry?”

“You want me to order for you? Why didn’t you just say anything- oh and hey! You don’t worry about seconds or anything I’ve got it covered. Have to keep my girl well-“

“Just get me a salad.” It was his turn to act baffled as he pulled out his wallet and looked at you incredulously, throwing his hands out like you insulted him before looking around and leaning an arm on the table.

He spoke like he was telling you a secret and expecting one in return.

“You’re beautiful- don’t let anyone else in this place get you down because you- are one of a kind.” He leaned in really close, too close and poked you square between your collarbone, knowing if he got further he would’ve poked between your tits and he smiled. “I actually like ladies like you, I’ve found they can handle more...” His gazeonly drifted lower, bit lip caught between his upper cainies as he unabashedly attempted to peer down your dress.

"...Thrilling Endeavours~"

Needless to say you were uncomfortable.

Suddenly you felt ten sizes too large and sat back with an obvious look of disgust on your face. Something everyone else around you seemed to notice. And so the whispers started.

“I… want a salad thank you.” You’d say again, grimacing as his smile dropped and he rolled his eyes. “Is everything-“

“Yeah yeah everything is fine- fuckin phenomenal no issues here… can’t go one night without fuckin' things up-“ Vox grumbled, hands shoving a card and some money back into its case before childishly flipping the menu up and going silent.

Eyes seemed to burn into you and you felt shame and embarrassment crawl up your neck. You turned your own to your wine and sipped it slowly before placing it down and crossing your arms over your lap, accentuating their weight.

Vox looked over the menu with a small glare before speaking too loud for comfort.

“They’ve got three different salads and all of them only have one ingredient differences, are you su-“

“Positive.” And he would huff, setting the menu down harshly before flagging a waiter over. One who had been snickering at a table in front of you only a few minutes earlier.

You let your head down as he spoke to Vox, who seemed to notice your discomfort and was at least sorry he pulled a stunt like he did. His hand was back in the center of the table as if he was inviting you to grab it.

In an effort you stepped up and lightly touched it, which willed him to grab it so hard it felt like it would break. “Ah-“

“Don’t- if I give you the chance to, will you order something… better?”

“I said I want a salad Vox." You answered with a glare. His eyes seemed to darken at this, flitting back to the waiter as his jaw set in annoyance.

"That'll be two steaks for the table, and ugh-" he snapped his fingers - " Do me a favour and dont take all night, I'm trying to treat this little lady to something nice, and shes just being difficult." The waiters smirk was pointed as he wrote down the order. "That'll be two of our house special steaks, and bottle of vintage for you and your sist-" Vox's shadow loomed over the table as he prepared to chew the young man out, his ears growing red from agictation.

"Friend!" Was what you cut in with, a hand resting soothingly on the back of Vox's, thumb interlocked with his, causing his pupils to blow wide as the waiter straightened his posture. "He's taking me out as a courtesy dinner on behalf of our friend Tom Leery." You said succinctly, watching the stress melt off smoothly from Vox's shoulders.

The waiter looked between the two of you, nodding understandably, as he was clearly grateful you deescalated the situation he started.

"Mhm, my mistake ma'mm, and... sir. We'll have your food out shortly." *To be continued.*

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Though We're Strangers 'Til Now

And now for something completely different! Now I want you guys to do me a favour here, and I need you to picture this fic as having like, a BBC Saturday night family show budget. I’m specifically talking Atlantis, but if you’ve not seen Atlantis (like most people), think Merlin. I wrote Edwin and Charles’ voices entirely as I’d write them in canon-verse, with nearly no regard to the fact I was transplanting them into ancient Greece, so it’s VERY important to me that you embrace the Camp. This is a styrofoam dungeon. Charles is about to meet his destiny in a labyrinth that’s just a quarry in Wales. The historical outfits all have zips up the back. Get on board with the vibe. This one goes out to @every-moment-a-different-sound, who not only made me aware of Painland week as a thing but also approached me for a collab! Go check out their FUCKING GORGEOUS GIFS for this fic!!! This fic quite literally wouldn’t exist without them, Robin you fuckin' rule 💛 4.7k, T-rated, also available on Ao3. Thanks again, @painlandweek!

The dungeon was a proper dingy place. Charles wondered if that's where they got the name from. Dingy, dungeon. Too similar to be a coincidence, right?

Lying on his back on the hard wood pallet, head on his hands, he stared at the pale moonlight bleeding through the window. 'Window' was being a bit generous; it was more of a slit in the wall. Narrow, barred, so high he could've stood on tiptoes and barely brushed it with his fingertips. But at least it was big enough to let in that light. He supposed he was lucky. Between the sliver of moonlight and the sputtering candle in the hallway past the wall of bars, he was bloody spoiled. He didn't know exactly where they were sending him tomorrow, but he had a pretty strong hunch that it would be dark. The kind of dark that drove men mad. Maybe the madness would get him before the bloody great beast in the tunnels got the chance.

Seemed a bit off, really. Putting him in the dingy dungeon when he bloody volunteered for this. Maybe they thought he'd change his mind and leg it in the night. Any half-sensible person would, wouldn't they? No one had ever given Charles an earful for having common sense, though. Usually the opposite.

No running away for him, that's for sure. He was bedded down for the night, just him and a handful of snoring cellmates. Despite the panic and crying, the six other lads had managed to drift into some kind of sleep, however uneasy. Not Charles, though. Too much on his mind. The stupid idea that brought him here in the first place. The near certainty that he'd fail, in the end, and he’d have no one but himself to blame for his bloody demise.

Wasn’t all bleak thoughts, though. After all, there was always him.

The prince.

He closed his eyes, letting it all play out in his head again. Stepping off the boat, being 'greeted' (shackled and marched to the dungeons) by the 'welcoming committee’ (royal guard). Him and thirteen other boys and girls, thanked like heroes and handled like criminals. The king in all his fancy regalia, booming his solemn gratitude to the brave youths for their sacrifice — as if any one of them but Charles had any choice in it. And standing there, at the king's back...

Look, Charles may have had more important things to think about, but he knew a fit lad when he saw one.

Fit didn't even cover it. The boy was just about the most gorgeous thing Charles had ever seen — or ever would see. Unless he spotted a prettier one before he died tomorrow, that is. Bit unlikely.

There was just something about him, the prince. Charles wasn't even into the posh sort, generally. Like with the more well-to-do lads from his own town — something about the baked-in entitlement soured them. Made them ugly, even if they were objectively alright looking. He could smile politely and play nice, but he’d sooner kiss a frog than a rich merchant’s kid. And a prince was a pretty big step up from a merchant's son, wasn't he? By rights he ought to be even worse. Charles probably didn't even register as a human to him. He wasn’t worth wasting a thought on.

Except Charles could still picture him perfectly, in his head. He could play out the whole welcome start to finish. How Charles' heart, all shrivelled in fear, had jumpstarted soon as he clapped eyes on the prince.

"Charles..."

He'd had dark hair all perfectly combed into an inky shine, almost prettier than the gold crown on top of it. Eyes like sea glass, clear and green and shining with a cunning light; eyes that had scanned the line of offerings and landed on Charles. Fixed him with such an intense, curious scrutiny he'd actually felt himself blush.

Hadn't Charles seen him somewhere before? That chin, that nose, those high cheekbones? He could've sworn he'd walked past him at a temple somewhere, carved from pristine marble. He could see him so clearly in his mind's eye, surely he must've known him all his life.

"Charles...?"

If he concentrated, really concentrated, he could even hear his voice...

"Charles Rowland!"

Blimey, that was scary. That sounded real.

Charles blinked his eyes open and frowned. He let his head flop to the side and looked across the cell, where the stone wall gave way to bars.

There, framed by iron and flickering candlelight, there he stood. Pretty as a picture — baffling as a dream.

Charles sat up, slow, cautious. He almost said something proper stupid, like 'what's a nice boy like you doing in a dungeon like this?'

"Um," he fumbled. "Evenin'?"

Mm. Not much better, really, was it?

"Evening, your highness?" he corrected himself, with a wince. Gods, his old man would've walloped him good and proper for talking to a royal like that.

Prince Edwin, however, didn't sneer or snap or even walk away. It was hard to see his face, at a distance in the gloom, but he almost looked amused. Charles thought he could see the barest shadow of a lifted lip, anyway.

"Good evening," said the prince. He said it so quiet, barely above a whisper, but his crisp tone carried regardless. He cocked his head slightly and beckoned with a finger. "Might I have a word?"

Charles glanced behind himself. Just on the off-chance there was another Charles Rowland he didn't know about squeezed onto the narrow bed with him. There wasn't, obviously, and he was a good few feet from any of his sleeping cellmates. No mistaking who the prince was after. He swallowed, stood up, and crept across the uneven flagstones, stepping over the sprawled legs of another boy.

As he neared, as the situation sank in and the prince came into focus, a new bundle of nerves started kicking off. Nothing like the anxious dread that had been stewing in his gut all night, the 'oh, gods, they're feeding me to a monster in the morning' nerves. No, this was different. More familiar but also, weirdly, worse than the monster dread. Fuck, but this lad was gorgeous. Not even the dungeon gloom could hide it. He was almost blinding to look at — and now those clever eyes were fixed right on Charles, no one else. Nowhere to hide. Fuck, Charles probably had sweat and cellar grime all over his face, and all!

Charles came to a standstill, toes almost touching the bars. Up close, he could see that him and the prince were about the same height. Edwin might've had the advantage by an inch or so, but maybe that was just his perfect posture. Spine straight and shoulders back, he regarded Charles with his head curiously cocked and his hands steepled. For a royal, he wasn't dressed all that flashy. Hadn't gone in for any jewellery besides the gilded circlet on his head. And under the blue silk chlamys clasped at his shoulder, his chiton was a simple white, clean and sharp and draped neatly to knee length. Expensive, pristine, put-together, but not exactly ostentatious. Mind you, that's just the sliver of outfit that Charles could see — because the prince had topped the whole thing off with a thick, practical brown cloak. A peacock disguised as a pigeon.

After a moment's quiet contemplation, the prince finally spoke. "I'm told you volunteered," he said. He kept his voice down, but it stayed crisp and clear. Highborn through-and-through. Probably wasn't even capable of mumbling.

Charles supposed it was a bit unusual, but unusual enough to bring a prince skulking down to the dungeons? He reckoned he was right about Edwin's eyes, that cleverness in them — he wasn't just a pretty face under a crown. He wanted to know things. He was staring at Charles like he wanted to pick him apart, understand him.

"Yeah," Charles answered. He forced a grin. "Not my best idea."

The prince blinked and leaned a little closer, intrigued. "Why in the world would you volunteer for this?"

His attention was sort of a lot — but it felt... good. Charles wanted to keep it. Hold onto it. He wanted this clever, gorgeous lad to think he was the most fascinating thing in the room.

Charles shrugged. "I can fight. I can take a hit. Seemed like the right thing to do. The decent thing, yeah?"

Edwin narrowed his eyes. "You’d forfeit your life to... give the beast a fight for its food?"

Charles shifted on his feet. "Not... exactly."

The prince watched him, all expectant. Charles sighed.

"Years it's been going on," he said, barely a mumble — Edwin leaned a little closer still to listen. "Lads and lasses being packed off, fed to that thing to keep it happy. Not right, is it? And I thought, well..."

He'd thought a lot of things. He'd thought well, he was already getting the shit beaten out of him every other day, so what's a little mauling on top of it? He'd thought about being his father's son, with his father's temper, and how maybe that could be a good thing for once. He'd thought about how things could change for him if he came back — and about who would even miss him if he didn't. He'd thought of all those kids less deserving than him, sent miles from home to be ripped to shreds. Sent away from bright futures and families that loved them. Gentle types who'd never hurt a fly. Kids who'd never learned to take a beating. Kids who didn't have the anger to keep them alive. Kids who weren't monster enough to survive the real thing.

"I thought, well, I'm pretty good in a scrap," he said, brightly, plastering on a smile. "Pretty stubborn. Thought if I went down there, maybe I could..."

"Could what?"

Charles raised his eyebrows.

Edwin looked at him blankly.

Charles rolled his eyes, held up one hand, and punched his fist into it twice.

Edwin's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "You mean to... slay the minotaur?"

"Told you it wasn't my best idea," said Charles.

"You have a talent for understatement," said Edwin, a sharp hiss. His voice had quickened and thinned into a hushed, incredulous patter. "I'd go so far as to describe that idea as fatuous, hubristic, and downright suicidal!"

Charles snorted. "Yeah. Sounds about right." He leaned his shoulder against the bars, brought his face closer to the prince's — which was such a brilliant idea it immediately gave him a really, really bad one. So bad it was impossible to resist.

He gave him a lax, lopsided grin — the one that he could bring out back home to make the girls giggle. "Be good if it worked, though, wouldn't it?"

Coming onto a bloody prince like he was some blushing farm lad... well, it probably wasn't a worse idea than throwing himself into a minotaur's labyrinth, but it probably wasn't much better, either. But what did it matter? They couldn't punish him, could they — they were already feeding him to a monster in the morning. What did he have to lose? Why not take a crack at the handsome prince with the pretty eyes? Sod it, it was his last night on Earth.

Edwin, to Charles' immense glee, actually seemed to get a little pink in the face. His eyes darted away and back again. "Yes, well..." He cleared his throat and straightened his cloak with a sharp tug of the front. "Have you a plan? Tactics? A weapon, at the very least?"

"Um. Well. No, not really." He dropped his fist on the bars once, twice, mulling it over. "But, I have been told my smile's pretty disarming!"

If his clumsy flirting hadn't been enough to break through the regal composure, that would've done it. Edwin's mouth dropped open a little, his brows drawing close together as he stared at Charles in abject disbelief. "Dear gods," he said, voice light and brittle. "You're doomed."

Charles chuckled, resting his forehead against the bars. "Yeah. Suppose so. Won't go down without a fight though, eh?"

He looked up through his eyelashes and found Edwin still staring, lips parted just a bit. Fuck, he had nice lips. Kissable. Charles reckoned he’d miss kissing when he was dead. What was the sentence for stealing a kiss from a prince — was it worse than death by minotaur? He might be willing to risk it.

Edwin tore his gaze away and glanced down the hall, first one way, then the other. Furtive. He seemed to come to some kind of decision. "Charles," he whispered. "Are your cellmates all asleep?"

Pulse quickening, Charles forced his eyes away from the prettiest person in the room to have a glance at the others. Everyone looked the same as they had before. Same chorus of snores and soft breaths and muttered, whimpered nightmares. "Yeah. Yeah, I reckon so."

"Right. Excellent." Edwin cleared his throat again and crowded closer to the bars.

Charles' heart was racing. He couldn't lean any closer to the bars than he already was but he wanted to. He didn't mean to, but he bit his lip, eyes flickering down to Edwin's mouth.

Edwin took another wary glance behind him, and tugged his cloak back. He reached inside. His hand closed around something under his arm and drew it out — something long and wrapped in leather.

Charles caught his breath.

"Take it," Edwin ordered, holding the hilt of the sword to the bars and looking Charles in the eye. "Quickly, and quietly."

Charles didn't need telling twice. He grabbed it, his fingers grazing Edwin's. Gods, he even had beautiful hands. Smooth on the back but a bit calloused on the pads. Didn't escape Charles' notice that the blade, though heavy, seemed to be a familiar weight in his hands.

"Cheers, mate," Charles breathed, drawing the cumbersome thing through the gap. If he was careful, he reckoned he could stash it under his thin cloak without anyone knowing.

He hadn't meant to call the gorgeous boy (who also happened to be fucking royalty) mate, but if Edwin was offended he didn't show it. In fact he ducked his head in a bashful little dip. It was so endearing Charles had to do another quick pros-and-cons list in his head about the risks of snogging him through the bars.

"Well," said Edwin, a forced lightness in his tone. "If you must embark upon this fool's errand, you must have the proper equipment."

Charles let out a ragged breath. "Thank you," he said, sincere, as he slid the scabbard through his belt. He laughed a little, rubbing the back of his head. "To be honest, I've... I've never been more scared in my life."

Edwin's shrewd gaze softened. His whole face did. It actually bowled Charles over a little bit, the difference. He felt like he ought to look away, like he was seeing something he shouldn't. A prince shouldn't be looking at him like that. Not him. Like he was something special. Something he was in awe of. "I can only imagine."

Charles bit his lip. "Less scared, now," he said, fidgeting with the hilt of the sword. Even though he felt a bit like he'd been flayed open and laid at the prince's feet, he still managed a wink. "Reckon I'll show that big bugger what's what with this thing, don't you?"

The prince’s eyes twinkled over his small, indulgent smile. "Oddly enough... yes. I believe you just might." He seemed to catch himself, a pretty blush high on his cheeks as he schooled his expression back into something a bit more lofty. "And quite a feather in your cap it will be. That beast has been a thorn in my father's side for years, holding the kingdom to ransom."

Edwin's gaze flickered over Charles, head to toe, and the pretty blush deepened. "If you were to end its reign of terror, you'd be more than deserving of a handsome reward."

"Oh, yeah?" said Charles. If he sounded breathless, it's 'cause he was. "What sort of reward?"

He felt dazed. He must've been dreaming. Five minutes ago he was accepting his fate, and now he'd been brought a fighting chance. By a gorgeous prince. Who was fucking flirting with him. They must've knocked his head on the bars when they shoved him in the cell — he was probably lying in the corner, drooling and babbling.

Edwin's eyes were restless, darting from Charles' face to his feet. His throat bobbed around a dry swallow. He looked too real to be a dream — but also too good to be true. His hand lifted, fingers resting on an iron bar between them.

"Well," he said, sounding pretty bloody breathless himself. "You could take your pick."

If this wasn't a dream, it was definitely a trick. Some rich kid teasing him, waiting to pull away at the last second and laugh at him for being so easy to string along. Or waiting for an excuse to run to his daddy and bag Charles a fate worse than death for getting fresh with him.

Except for whatever reason, he didn't believe that. Couldn't. For some reason, he trusted Edwin. Felt like he knew him. Like he'd always known him. And he knew he was kind. Not necessarily nice, but kind. For whatever reason he knew Edwin wasn't the sort to mess around with someone's feelings — or pretend to be interested when he wasn't.

Why he'd be interested in Charles of all people was another thing, but... sod it. Charles was probably gonna die tomorrow, anyway. Why not pretend it was possible for a minute? What the fuck did he have to lose?

Feeling once again like the undisputed king of bad decisions, Charles took a breath, and put his hand on top of Edwin's. He almost couldn't believe his luck when Edwin didn't pull away. His hand was soft — like the little gasp he let out when their skin touched.

Swallowing past his dry mouth, Charles laced their fingers. He let them lay there, woven on the bars; the warp and weft of it felt so right he wondered how they hadn't been doing this for years. How'd he gone this long, not realising how empty his hands were without Edwin's tangled up inside them?

He looked at Edwin's face and saw all his own thoughts reflected. Saw Edwin staring at their hands like they were a bloody marvel. Like the last piece of a puzzle had clicked into place. His face was so open, so alive — so gently amazed and Charles had never wanted to kiss someone more in his life.

Charles laughed, quiet, awed. "Handsome prize, alright."

That earned him another quick, coy duck of Edwin's head — but Charles could see him preening clear as day. "Be sure you're alive to claim it," he said, soft and serious. He squeezed Charles' hand once before breaking the hold.

Charles sketched a lazy salute to distract his hand from how empty it felt. "No dying. Right-o."

Edwin smiled. A proper smile; a quick flash of teeth breaking through his tight-lipped, regal composure. Charles would've fought the bloody titans to get another glimpse of it.

"You are... odd," said Edwin, matter-of-factly. "And quite mad, I suspect."

"...Cheers?"

Humming, Edwin reached into his cloak once more. "There is just one other thing..."

He brought out something small from a pouch at his waist. Something round, with a leather cord threaded through the middle and tied off in a loop. Edwin held it aloft, thumb and forefinger pinched through the handle. The little round something glowed silky gold in the candlelight, and Charles squinted at it.

"...String?" he asked.

Edwin nodded, reaching into the cell to take Charles' hand and draw it through the bars. His touch lingered as he placed the generous clew of fine, shimmering string in Charles' palm.

"I had the idea that if you were to unspool it behind you, perhaps you might be able to navigate the labyrinth with greater ease." Head bowed, he looked at Charles through his lashes. Pretty, fluttering things they were, charcoal black. "So that when you slay the beast, you might find your way back."

Charles gawped at him. "Mate. That's proper smart."

Edwin preened again — actually, he preened more than he had when Charles' complimented his looks. Handy to know. "Yes, I thought it rather a sensible idea. I spun it myself; I’ve been experimenting with the tensile strengths of different fibres. It shan’t break."

Charles grinned, closing his hand around the clew — and Edwin's fingers, too. "Brains and beauty, eh?" he said. "Where've you been all my life?"

Edwin went pinker, his eyes twinkled. Warmer than the candlelight, brighter than the moon.

Charles would have to offer up a prayer tonight to any god who might be listening. He'd do anything, give them anything, if they only promised to get him through tomorrow alive. He needed at least a thousand more days ahead of him, just to spend finding more and ingenious ways of making this boy smile at him.

Soon, too soon, Edwin sighed, reluctantly extricating his hand from Charles'. "I must go," he said, apologetic. "Questions will be asked if I'm discovered down here in the dead of night."

"Yeah. Yeah, 'course." Charles let his hand fall to his side, clenching it around the thread — still warm from Edwin's hand. He laughed, softly. "Well, um. Thanks for... dropping in?"

"And thank you for your discretion," said Edwin, raising his eyebrows as he drew his cloak back around him. "I'm sure I need not impress upon you the fact that I was never here."

Charles mimed locking his lips and throwing away the key.

"Good. Very good." Edwin shifted his weight between his feet a moment, finger lifting, mouth opening as if he had more to say. But whatever it was, he thought better of it. He drew his hands into fists in front of him, pressed together knuckle to knuckle, and offered a tight smile instead. "Well... best of luck, Charles Rowland. I truly hope you find fortune on your side."

With a stiff bob of his head, he turned fluidly on his heel to walk away. And it hit Charles again, hard, right between the eyes. The possibility that tomorrow could be his last day alive. A few minutes ago, the idea hadn't bothered him much.

Fuck. It bothered him, now.

"Edwin," he said, almost losing control of his volume as desperation sunk its hooks into him. He grabbed the bars, white-knuckled. "Edwin, wait —"

And he did. He waited, his back to Charles, his posture so, so perfect. Still as a statue.

Charles swallowed. "Can..."

Edwin turned his head, just slightly.

Charles' courage abandoned him. He huffed, shaking his head. "Nah. Nothing."

Of course, if there's one thing Charles knew about Edwin by now, it was that he couldn't resist a mystery. He turned to face Charles, eyes bright and curious. "Is there something else you require?"

Charles forced a smile. "You've already given me two gifts, mate. Bit greedy to ask for another one, yeah?"

"Perhaps." Edwin paused, and took a cautious step closer. "But, between ourselves... I can see little harm in the asking."

Charles' grin bloomed into something more sincere, something real. "No standing on ceremony, eh?"

Edwin's eyes crinkled at the corners. "I hardly see the point. I think perhaps you and I might dispense with formalities."

"Right."

Well then. Why not? Last night on Earth, and all that.

Charles ducked his head, laughing softly at himself. "Well. I was gonna be a bit cheeky, actually. Ask you to gimme a kiss for luck. But I reckon that's a bit — mmf!"

Quick, quicker than Charles could've imagined, Edwin was right there; reaching through the bars, taking Charles' face in his hands, and pulling him into a bruising kiss.They were lucky neither of them broke their noses against the iron strips.

Charles startled, gasped, so blindsided he didn't even know what to do with his hands — so he ended up just sort of clinging onto the bars. But soon enough his eyes fluttered closed, his breath rushed out of him and he melted. He kept his grip on the bars, though, holding on tight just to keep his knees from buckling. Edwin's lips were soft, and hotter than fire. His kiss was clumsy and overeager and not even slightly what Charles would've expected from someone so elegant, so refined. But he tasted of honey and home and Charles could've got lost in him, happily. Charles felt like he'd been shoved against the wall and plundered, in the best possible way. He felt like Edwin was everywhere, filling his senses. Hard not to feel wrapped up in him, with the way Edwin had his hands cupped round Charles' face, covetous and claiming. Like Charles belonged to him.

Fuck, maybe he did. Maybe he always had.

Edwin broke the kiss, but he didn't let Charles go. Just pulled back a little, still framing Charles' face with his fingers. His eyes were dark, hooded, his pretty eyelashes fluttering as he stroked Charles' cheek with his thumb. Face flushed, breathing hot and fast, gazing at Charles like he could devour him with his eyes. Charles shivered under the possessive weight of his gaze. He felt seen, admired, treasured. He felt owned.

He wanted more. More, more, until he suffocated under it.

Edwin took a shuddering inhale. "Come back to me," he said. And just because his voice was high and wavering with feeling didn't make it any less commanding. It wasn't a request; it was an order.

Charles nodded, in a daze. "I will," he promised.

He was as surprised as anyone to find he actually meant it.

Edwin nodded, and pulled him in close once more. Quick as you like, for just one more kiss — this one dry and fleeting, almost chaste. Bit of a departure from the one before, but somehow all the more devastating. Charles could feel Edwin's palms against his jaw, pressing so tight they ought to bruise. He hoped they would. A sword and a string weren't enough; he wanted everything Edwin could give him. Every tangible reminder that this was real, wasn't just a mad dream.

When that kiss broke, so did Edwin's hold. When he stepped away, he went all the way. And with one last lingering, longing look, he was gone, fading into the night. A mirage. A ghost.

And like a broken amphora, Charles remained right where Edwin had left him. Off-kilter, rooted to the spot. His outer shell shattered; his insides pooling at his feet for all to see.

~

It would be a sombre morning, just as the others had been. A familiar and predictable tragedy; as it always was, and always shall be.

At dawn's early light, just as they always had, seven young men and seven young women would be led — marched, bullied, carried — to the mouth of the labyrinth. There, the trembling gathering would be ushered into the embrace of the earth and stone. Pushed by the merciless hands of a royal guard, who'd long learned to look past the blood upon them.

But on this occasion, quite without the guards' knowledge, one youth would hang back from the crowd. From his cloak he would draw a small token, round and bright like a golden apple. A ball of fine yarn — spun in strong, beautiful fibres by strong, beautiful hands. He would find the end of the thread and fasten it, tightly, to an old iron ring within the threshold.

Then, with the clew unspooling from his fingers, painting a trail behind him like a steady drip of molten gold, he would walk into the jaws of death. Not with fear, not even with resignation, but with purpose. He was no hapless sacrifice, no tragic victim. He was a youth who'd grown accustomed to treading lightly through the dark, lest the monster in his house leap from the shadows. A youth with steel in his hand, and his own monster in his belly; a monstrous rage, and monstrous desire. A hunger to rival that of the minotaur’s.

A youth with a promise to keep in the dark; and a path waiting to lead him back to the light.

~~

A ball of thread is known as a clew or, in an alternative spelling, a clue. To this day, we talk about following the ‘clues’ to discover something, and it’s all thanks to the story of Theseus and Ariadne’s thread. — things I didn’t even know when I came up with this idea but make me insane… everything is connected… detective boys forever… Thanks for reading guys! You know I adore your comments 💛 and don't forget to give Robin's amazing gifs some love as well! Dunno if I'll get anything posted tomorrow, but if I do it'll either be something much shorter or maybe some sketches. I will defo see you for another fic on day 4, though! Any encouragement very much welcomed, it's been a rough couple of weeks💛 Painland Week Prompt List

[tsukimefuku]

Tactics

You and Higuruma finally go on your first not-date when you finally decide to give him an answer.

Tags: +18! SMUT, Jujutsu Kaisen, WITH PLOT (I'm a plot whore), Higuruma x OC/f!reader, reader is definitely falling for him, this is going to get messy, bj, edging, penetration, m!top x f!bottom dynamic because Higuruma is clearly a switch and so is f!reader, Higuruma is sort of a little shit and you love it.

The song that inspired this: Tactics - The Yellow Monkey (on YouTube)

This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU". A sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a Nanami x Reader x Higuruma long fic I might write. To see the ever-growing list of one-shots and short stories, please visit my masterlist :) 

Disclaimer these stories are NOT written and posted in chronological order of events. To see where this story fits in the timeline, please check the masterlist mentioned above. This takes place AFTER "Lover's Pass (Nxf!R)" and "The Event - Part 2 (Nxf!R)", that I'll post sometime along the next week.

The prickling feeling of love with you in the air, Biting into the rough sand, surrendering to the night. Won't you let me drink wine with those proud lips of yours soon? A man and a woman bound on a full moon night, eternally Intensely, lady, ah, gimme your love! Mysteriously, lady, I need your love! Occasionally, those lonely eyes you show, I can't tell if they're true or false. Honestly, lady, ah, gimme your love! Try to feel it, lady, I need your love! Swept away by your gestures, the passionate love dances within me.

— Tactics ☾ イエモン

Your face was flushed, but it wasn't due to the two glasses of wine you decided to drink that night. You and Higuruma were sitting across the table, officially on your first not-date with the man.

Earlier that day, you had called Higuruma, asking if he could meet you.

“Of course. It’s a date, then.” He answered on the other side, glad you called.

“No! It’s not a date! It’s a not-date.” You chided, barely noticing the blush on your face in the backseat of the car, whispering into the phone, while Ijichi drove you and Nanami to your next mission.

You heard a soft chuckle, and his voice was honeyed with delight. “Fine. Then let me take you to a not-dinner on our not-date. Okay?”

You could barely hold the smile forming on your lips as you said “yes. Sounds good.”

Then, after defeating the Lover's Pass curse with Nanami and having an emotionally charged conversation with him that didn't end well at all, you were on your way to meet Higuruma, to finally give him an answer. 

"So, what is it with you and Nanami Kento? You two seem very close." He asked, observant eyes on you, as he rested his chin on his hand, elbow on the table.

"Oh, you're a pretty straightforward guy, aren't you?" You asked, jokingly, taking a sip of wine. You were both in a restaurant, as he offered to take you to a not-dinner on your not-date. So you both decided on eating appetizers and share a half bottle of wine. After abusing your liver so much these past few days, you decided to definitely take it slow tonight.

"I like to think so." He smiled, avoiding a big witty comeback that could derail the conversation and help you avoid answering the question.

You sighed before responding. "We met around ten years ago, when I wasn't an actual Jujutsu sorcerer. He and Gojo came to my hometown, Odate, to work on a case that ended… Badly. After that, I left Odate. From what he's told me, that case was also the reason he left Jujutsu for years, too."

Higuruma was silently listening in between the clacks and clicks of glasses and cutlery that filled the restaurant.

"And how did you end up working for Jujutsu High a decade later?" He inquired.

"Gojo. He realized the higher ups were plotting to get me into 'custody' for working as a 'healer' under the radar around Japan, you might say, and he intervened, royally saving my ass." You chuckled, drinking some water and grabbing a plain dinner roll to take a bite. "He wanted to bring me here to Tokyo ever since we met at Odate, because he was sure I could learn reverse cursed technique to heal other sorcerers, but I was so angry at Jujutsu High at the time I couldn't bring myself to do it."

Higuruma tilted his head softly to the side, curious. "Why?"

"Long story short, the entire shitstorm in Odate happened because of their unethical ways of treating people outside the prized clans." You answered, sighing and leaning back on your chair. 

"Oh." 

"Yeah, ‘oh’ indeed." You shrugged. "Well, Gojo and Nanami are the two people in my life that still have some connection to my past, especially Nanami. We worked together on that mission from the first day to the last."

"I see."

"After I came to Tokyo, I started to go on assignments alongside Nanami for the first few months I was here. It was somewhat similar to our situation. I guess this is basically the entirety of the story. He became a close friend and someone I actually trust in the dirty world of Jujutsu." You concluded, taking an actual gulp of wine, trying to shove down your discomfort of talking about Nanami right now and having flashbacks of the night the both of you shared together. 

Somewhat satisfied with your answer, Higuruma leaned back on his chair too, starting to eat as he had his hawkish eyes trailing over you. His gaze was indecipherable, as you could almost hear the cogs turning in his head, seemingly… planning something? You could've sworn you saw the corner of his mouth twist up in a smirk.

***

You threw the keys over your tiny dinner table and invited Higuruma inside, as you both removed your shoes in the entry hall. When he made his way in, he was instantly overpowered by the multiple scents of different varieties of flowers and plants. Your entire apartment was covered with plant vases and greens, and had a beautiful light wooden floor that extended around the entire place. It was a little messy, but strangely welcoming, if you knew what to look for — somewhat like yourself.

"I'd like to talk and give you a proper answer, Hiromi." You said, sitting down on the couch, inviting him to sit beside you.

Higuruma nearly smirked at the sound of his name through your lips, but kept his composure. "About if we should continue our bedroom endeavors?" He answered, then smiling, as he sat beside you. 

You chuckled. "Yes. This not-date was lovely, but I don't know if we should proceed, and I'd like to talk about it."

The man hummed, kind of disapprovingly. "Here it comes. Tell me."

With a sigh, you began. "I have feelings for someone else. I do not intend to pursue any sort of relationship with this person, nor keep nurturing this, but I-"

"Did you like sleeping with me that night and would you like to continue?" He interrupted, looking at you, completely unbothered by what you were just saying.

You were taken aback. "What?"

"Would you like to keep having sex with me?" He inquired again. "I can tell you right now that I really enjoyed what we had that night, and definitely would like to do it many more times."

You were at a loss for words. "... I- I..."

"Stop thinking. This should come naturally. Just answer what comes first to your mind." Higuruma said, planting his hand over your knee while restraining himself from sliding his fingers up your thigh, knowing full well how that turned out the last time. He was very aware he'd have to navigate this with you carefully if you were to tell him how you truly felt, instead of running away, and he employed some of his old tactics to do so.

Interrupt you in the middle of a ready to go statement, surprise you with an unexpected question that addressed the main point he wanted to discuss, and rile you up in any way he could to lower your defenses. Truth was never calmly said — it was usually blurted out in shame or desperation. 

Your body trembled to his touch, and you were glad to be sober, or otherwise... Damn this man and how endearing, charming, and handsome he is. 

“So, what is your answer, my dear?” He inquired, pressing his hand over your knee. He was figuratively and literally pressuring the answer out of you.

"Yes. I liked it very much, and I'd very much like to do that more times." You spat out, smiling in utter embarrassment at your complete lack of self-control.

"Then that is the part which interests me," Higuruma responded, shamelessly leaning towards you with a gentle — yet mischievous — smile on his face, having you falling on your back in a second. He caged you in between his hands, holding the backrest with one hand, and the arm rest with the other. You put your hands over his chest and started breathing through your mouth.  You thought you should open the window, why is it so hot in here?

"Does it interest you?" This man knew, especially from your last pillow talk, you were like a bird. Prone to flying away at any sudden movements. So he decided to have a more active approach this time, because he knew exactly what he wanted — he wanted you.

"Yes. I-It does," you answered, body warm all throughout, as you looked at his mouth, biting your lips. 

That was all he needed. Higuruma buried his mouth to yours, pressing his tongue insistently against your lips. You welcomed him in, and his tongue teased yours as you began to take off his tie. He took both of your hands firmly using only one of his enormous hands, not squeezing them, still supporting himself to hover over you holding the couch's backrest. You halted your movements as he leaned back to look at you. "Not now."

His glassy eyed gaze and self-satisfied smile sent shivers down your spine, as he seemed to be taking bites out of you simply by looking. You smiled at him and asked, "bossy tonight?" 

"Kind of." he confessed, planting a quick kiss on your lips. Higuruma then got up, and kept looking at you, who was already becoming a little mess laying on your back, and nonchalantly put his hands in his pockets. "There is something I remember about the last time we did this dance, darling."

"Is there?" You asked, with half a smile, sitting up to look at him. "Is it the fact we seem to always start doing things on not-so-comfortable couches?"

He chuckled richly. "No. This time, it was a little intentional, not gonna lie." You were confused. "Last time, if I remember it correctly..."

"Oh, 'if you rememb-'"

Higuruma put his index finger over your mouth and instantly shut down your antics, making you go silent. "I'm speaking now, my dear." He smirked, sliding his finger under your chin, and proceeded. "If I remember it correctly, you got to finish twice. I only finished once. Does that sound fair to you?"

You shook your head, completely mesmerized at the effect he was having on you. You wanted to get on your knees immediately and unzip him, letting him face fuck you into oblivion, but waited, because at this moment he was leading the dance, and would dictate the next steps.

"So, do you have any idea how we could restore some balance?" Higuruma said, in a deep, gravely voice, as he lifted your face a little more, finally removing his finger from under your jaw.

Looking at the edge of his pants, your hands slowly made their way to unbutton them, but he held them in place. You whimpered, and he chuckled softly. "How do you say, darling?"

"Please?" You asked, rubbing your nose over his closed zipper. His erection was very evident at this point, and you huffed a blow of hot air over it, feeling his body vibrate softly.

"Good girl." Higuruma said, sliding his fingers through your hair, as you moaned to the sound of that. You unbuttoned his pants, unzipped him, and slowly removed them, alongside with his boxers, being met by his cock, already flushed with a red bulbous tip. 

"May I?"

He rested his thumb on your chin. "Put your tongue out."

You did as instructed, and could hear him groan at the sight of you presenting your mouth open, tongue sticking out to meet his needs. Higuruma grabbed his cock and grazed the tip over your tongue, moaning pleased, eliciting a whimper from you too. "Do you want it?" He asked, taunting you, brushing his tip, now slick with your saliva, around your upper lip. You nodded, both hands plastered over his thighs, longingly. 

In response to your nod, he used his free hand to delicately push your open mouth onto him, holding tightly to your hair as he did so. You felt you were already dripping in between your legs just to the taste of him, and began sliding your mouth up and down on his length, savoring it as you did so.

You made sure to press with your tongue every time you felt a particularly prominent vein, having Higuruma pulling his breath through his teeth in satisfaction. He began bucking his hips very gently, careful not to choke you, as you glazed his entire length with spit, moaning in appreciation. Even though he had you under his thumb right now, he was still very much preoccupied with you, so you put your hands on the sides of his hips, pushing him encouragingly. Following suit, his thrusts into your mouth became stronger and faster, starting to hit the back of your throat. You held your choking, and moaned louder, pressing his hips more urgently. He threw his head back, letting out a strained moan, as he began to effectively face fuck you with intent.

A few tears started pooling in your eyes, as you took his cock entirely into your mouth, eager to please him. Higuruma started to pump his girth sloppily into your mouth, panting, and asked, in-between moans, "can I come in your mouth?", to which you responded with a loud and muffled "mm-hmm". He then let go completely, bucking his hips with complete abandon against your mouth until you felt a warm splatter in the back of your throat, his cock pulsing as he came desperately.

You began swallowing his cum, sucking on his cock, feeling every spurt go down your satisfied throat, until you let go of it with an audible pop. Then, you looked up at him.

Higuruma was staring at you, and began brushing his hand on your cheek in a loving way. "So, now that we're even," he began, smiling in his blissful state, "we may go to the bedroom." The sorcerer offered his hand to help you, and you promptly took it. He pulled you up suddenly, and before you realized, you felt your feet swooping up in the air, with one of his arms under your knees. He was holding you in his arms, like a bride, and grinned as he tilted his head down to look at you. You put your arms around his neck for support, and couldn't help but flush so completely when he was gazing at you in such a lovely way. 

"You tend to get your face often flustered." He said, walking inside the bedroom. "I love it." Higuruma laid you on the bed and noticed you had a bedside lamp. He decided to turn it on, and you could see him under that half-lit daze.

Inside your room, the flowers smelled even stronger. Higuruma couldn't discern right now what was your flowery smell, and what the flowery smell lingering around your apartment. 

He put his knee on the mattress to climb on the bed, and removed his tie without breaking eye contact with you. Higuruma then started unbuttoning his shirt slowly, clearly teasing you, opening it up to reveal his beautiful body underneath. You stared at him shamelessly, and he noticed it, grabbing your hand, putting it over his abs silvery lit, making your body tremble in satisfaction.

With a chuckle, he finished removing his shirt and climbed on the bed, laying right beside you. Then, Higuruma put his hand right behind your waist and pulled you in for a kiss. You could still taste the wine on him, warm on his breath, and gasped the moment his hands began tracing the outline where your pants and your shirt met. Lost in your own haze, you rolled over him, removing your shirt with a tug. Sitting over his unclothed cock, you traced your fingers over his muscles, admiring the view. He had his hands up, splayed to each side of his head, and you grabbed his wrists, pushing them down the sheets. Higuruma's face blushed slightly, as he smiled at you. "Feeling bossy tonight, too?"

"Kind of." You replied, replicating his cadence. However, he effortlessly flipped his hips underneath you and had you rolling underneath him. Higuruma yanked his hands from your grasp and held your hands above your head, seizing the opportunity to grind his throbbing cock over your clothed sex, drawing a surprised moan out of your lips. Tonight, he'd break you gently, lovingly, in every way he could. "Too bad, my dear. Today, I'll be the one in charge." He let go of your hands and in swift moves, undid your bra, unzipping your pants and removing them calmly. 

Higuruma put two of his fingers over your lips, and said, "open up." You obliged, and he entered your mouth delicately with his digits, grazing them up with your saliva. You sucked on his fingers softly, while looking at him, satisfied at the sight of him grunting. Then, he traced his fingers down your body, ghosting right above your aching core. You tried bucking  your hips in the direction of his fingers, but the sorcerer noticed it, and pulled his hand a little further away.

"If you want it, ask for it." Higuruma chided, calmly, locking his eyes to yours.

"Please, touch me." You replied, desperate for some friction on your neglected bud. He seemed hell-bent on driving you mad this night.

"Oh, I didn't even have to say anything for you to ask nicely. Good girl." His praise came down on you like warm rain, sending waves of honeyed dewy satisfaction all over your skin. He pressed his fingers around your entrance, and gently pushed them in, having your walls clenching desperately pulsing around them. When Higuruma bottomed out his digits inside your pussy, he used his thumb to rub small circles on your clit, having you instantly trembling under his touch. He groaned, pleased, and said, "you look so pretty undoing like that."

His words sent shivers all over your body, as you felt every single hair pry up, electrically. You mewled and moaned, as his fingers stretched you out for his cock, throbbing and yearning for another release. As he felt satisfied enough with your walls fluttering around his fingers, he pulled them out, ghosting your entrance with the tip of his length. He got distracted for a moment, looking around. 

As if reading his mind, you put your hand on his shoulder. "I'd like to... feel you tonight."

He lifted an eyebrow, curious. "Are you sure?"

You nodded. Higuruma then took your hand on his, and gently kissed your knuckles, intertwining his fingers to yours as he pressed your hand beside your head on the sheets. Then, he teased the tip of his cock, sliding up and down your folds, stopping a few moments to press it against your bud, eliciting a whimper from you. He kept doing this to slowly drive you into a spiral, taking full advantage from the fact that he had already had an orgasm, and you hadn't. Watching you squirm, twist and turn under him was one of the best things he'd ever seen, Higuruma was sure of it.

"P-Please... Hiromi, I'm b-begging, please-" you pleaded, urgently, as he lifted both of your hands above your head and held them down firmly, putting his other hand over your hip to push you down the mattress.

"Ah... You look beautiful, asking for me." He pressed the tip of his cock in your entrance, and you gasped, as he thrust into you incredibly slow, sinking inch by inch, taking all the time in the world to weave your walls around his girth. Finally bottoming out, he pulled equally slow, and you were just about to weep in frustration, desperate to buck him into you relentless, but firmly held in place by his hand pressed against the plush of your hips.

"I need you... You're driving me mad-"

"Am I, now?" Higuruma asked, chuckling in between pleasure filled huffs, leaning over to hover his lips above yours. He didn't kiss you, though, and you couldn't press forward properly because the still held both of your hands above your head, limiting your upper body movements. You were just about to explode with all that buildup. "Then beg." He said, smiling, sliding his tongue quickly over your lips.

"Hiromi, please. P-please... Ah-" You huffed, "I beg, I plead, I implore. I'll do w-whatever you want, just please-" You looked at him, asking for him to have you, vulnerable and raw.

There, he had it. Your defenses dropped completely, and he finally started rolling his hips against yours intently, picking up a rhythm, sending your head spiraling and instantly making you feel dizzy in that stupor. You weren't even moaning anymore - you were actively yelling, arching your back on the bed, screaming his name. His body, his warmth, his smell, his taste, his name, it was all you had in your mind right now. You were completely Hiromi drunk, as he occupied all of your senses.

Not wanting to neglect your full pleasure, he drew his hand, previously on your hip, over your aching bud, and started drawing circles over it, eager to have you come completely undone under his touch and on his cock. You were so wound up by this point that your orgasm quickly came crashing down on you like an earthquake, cracking and breaking your convulsing body under him. Higuruma leaned down to kiss you, as he felt you impossibly tightening around his length, knowing full well that he wouldn't last long like this.

Right before he could press his lips to yours, though, he felt the desperate surge in his belly, and mustered up the strength to ask, in between grunts, "can I come inside you?" You said yes, and he let go, pressing a passionate kiss on your lips, as you felt him painting your walls inside with thick strands of cum.

You were panting into his mouth, after you both came down from your respective highs. After both finally opened their eyes, you looked inside his, and the way he looked at you, so intently, made your heart throb, sending butterflies down your stomach and raising every hair on your body with electric anticipation. Your face became completely flustered in an instant, and Higuruma noticed it. 

You realized the way you reacted to him definitely wasn't the way you'd feel if you just had a crush on the man. This was something else.

"What is on your mind?" He asked, letting go of your hands, and parting your sweat gripped hair on your forehead to lay a kiss. You quivered under him, and he felt it, letting out an almost unnoticeable grunt in satisfaction.

"You." You blurted out, before you could think of anything else.

He leaned back to look at you, eyes slightly wide, and an amused expression. "What now?"

You blinked repeatedly, insecure, not because you were completely naked under his body, but because you knew what you were about to say next.

"I believe I have feelings for you, too" You answered, surprised at how you said it, so naturally. “I’m actually sure of it. I do... Have feelings for you.”

His smile widened, and he pressed his lips to yours, heart fluttering content, lingering for a moment with the taste and sensation of you.

As he parted, he chuckled, putting one of his hands on your cheek and looking the most satisfied you had ever seen him. "Well, it's nice to know I wasn't barking up the wrong tree."

This charming asshole! You thought to yourself, in a mix of happy indignation and loving heart throb.

"Now, can I actually ask you out on a date and treat you to a proper dinner, please?" He finally asked.

Oh, this man would be the death of you. He surely had it all planned out. The not-date, going to your house, putting you against the wall, having you underneath his thumb, and every little move this bastard made. The worst part was that you loved every moment of it, just to have this former lawyer wiggle his way into your heart and whirl out a confession from you. Such a lovely bastard.

You smiled back at him, planting a quick kiss on his lips. "Yes. Anytime you want, bastard. Don’t think I didn’t notice what you did."

He laughed contently, brushing his lips against your cheeks, making his way down to kiss your jawline. You mewled quietly to the searing sensation of his lips on your sensitive skin, desperate for more of that. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Higuruma answered, mischievously. 

– 

End notes:

So, this is thoroughly inspired by the song "Tactics" (and I suggest you give it a listen, please!), and I loved every second of writing this one-shot. I really hope you guys enjoyed reading it just as much. <3

[elentarial]

Miscalculation

Dear Morifinwe,

I recently had the privilege of reading your treatise on Dwarven tariffs and found it fascinating reading indeed. I don’t suppose you hear that often. However, I was wondering if you could perhaps clarify the situation on the 36th page, just under the table of tares of standard shipping containers. I was under the impression when one converted between ounces and gallons (which, why aren’t you using liters as a standard unit of liquid measurement??), the multiplier is 0.0078126, but you have it listed as 0.0078125. Does the Naugrim measure alcoholic liquids differently? As you have only two sentences describing the conversion of Dwarvish mead, I can not determine whether it is a typographical error or if I have been misinformed. If the latter is the case, any more explicit suggestion or direction would be appreciated since (as I have pointed out) your explanation in the paper is relatively brief.

Sincerely yours,

Turukano

Dear Turukano,

I am delighted that you enjoyed my protocols for trade in East Beleriand! In regards to your question about whether dwarves measure alcohol differently than other liquids, no Turno, an ounce is an ounce. You have been misinformed. The conversion factor is indeed 0.0078125.

Thank you,

Carnistir Morifinwe,

Dear Moryo,

Thank you for the quick and brief reply. However, I digress, the conversion multiplier is 0.0078126. It was that in Tirion, and it is that now. Please explain your computations. 

Looking forward to your reply,

Turukano

Dear Turno,

I am the one who devised that conversion. I don’t need to prove my work to you because I came up with it in the first place. Any possible discrepancies are due to rounding errors. The conversion is valid.

Carnistir

Dear Moryo,

I am well aware that you first calculated the conversion between ounces and gallons. I sat on the council that granted you the defense of such a claim, and if you will recall, I questioned your math then. You were wrong in Tirion, and you are wrong now.

Awaiting your reply,

Turgon

Turgon,

How delightful to know you remember our time together at the Royal Academy of Arts and Sciences. I have no recollection of your involvement in my defense, but I really try to avoid thinking of you. Were you there? I thought you were too busy being henpecked by the campus gulls to accomplish anything, research or otherwise.

Carnistir

Moryo,

I generally thought you were one of the better brothers; don’t be an ass. Just admit you are wrong. 

Sincerely,

Turgon Turukano,

 Lord of Nevarast,

 High Prince of the Noldor

My dearest Turukano,

What a lovely title that is. Quite fitting for your already overinflated ego, but I genuinely hate to remind you that you are a second son and not, in fact, the High Prince of anything. Unless, of course, condolences are in order, then I also do not care because I find your brother infuriatingly obnoxious. I would feel for Nelyo, though. 

Yours,

Moryo

Dear Carnistir,

Nelyo…remind me, is that your eldest brother or our grandfather? I can never remember who was born first, him or my father. Regardless, he’s ancient and an inappropriate match for my brother. 

But I beseech you, dearest cousin. Please take a look at your defense from Tirion. I believe there is a note regarding the conversion on the final copy. I don’t have a copy with me, but I am sure you must have kept one for yourself. 

Yours,

Turgon

My darling Turno,

At least we agree on one thing. Fingon and my brother are terrible for one another. 

I do happen to have a copy in my archives. I will check for this mythical correction and have my scribe translate a copy for you. I will enclose it in my next reply, as it’s rather embarrassing to doubt the work of scholars. 

With love,

Moryo

Turukano,

Fuck you. There was no correction; the rate has always been 0.0078125. This exchange has been a complete waste of my time, and I will implore Himring to approve an additional one point five percent tax on all limestone coming from and all other goods going to Vinyamar. 

Sincerely,

Morifinwe

Despite all of Caranthir’s immense irritation, the final letter to Nevarast is returned some months later by an exhausted raven. Shortly thereafter, he receives word from Hithlum that Turgon and one-third of the Noldor forces in West Beleriand have disappeared. 

@silmarillionepistolary

For @cilil (who suggested Caranthir and Tax Day as a prompt) and @dalliansss (who originally did the heavy lifting on building Caranthir’s taxation empire).

Miscalculation (on AO3)