#rowdy sibling combo

[threestripeslider]

*(Stumbles through the door so quickly I trip and fall on my face)*

Hello! I’ve started ‘03 pretty recently (like, within the past two weeks or so) and I have been enjoying it immensely! I’m currently on about early-to-mid season 4

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the show! For starters, who’s your favourite character(s)?

oh my stars I LOVE SEASON 4 it's like. my favorite season of TMNT03, mostly bc of Leo since he is. my favorite in TMNT03 lmfao

tbh it's kind of hard to pick a favorite?? mostly bc i IMMENSELY enjoy all of the brothers in this iteration, similar to Rise, but i gotta admit that i always had a slight penchant for Mikey in almost all TMNT iterations – except the 07 movie and Bayverse (Bayverse Donnie my beloved). anyway. i enjoy the dynamic of the boys SO MUCH in 03, like, it's duking it out with Rise for first place in my heart, i just love it that much. they have SO much sibling energy, especially Mikey and Raph, the way they hurl insults at each other is fucking HILARIOUS bc Raph always goes for Mikey's intelligence (or lack thereof in his opinion) meanwhile Mikey just gleefully says Raph is butt-ugly AND STICKS TO IT. LIKE HIS GO TO INSULT FOR RAPH IS TO CALL HIM UGLY IDK WHY THATS SO DAMN FUNNY TO ME AJHHJD.

also i just really like how there isnt really a whole singular duo dynamic in 03 bc i remember in 12 they had this Team A and Team B thing going on, which i wasnt a huge fan of. the boys get to mix it up pretty regularly and i enjoy their different dynamics so much, such as Raph & Donnie (the twinsies) and Leo & Mikey (big bro & lil bro combo). dont even get me started on the characterisation; 12 Donnie really left a bad mark on him bc the writers bungled him up so much, and while i adore Mad Scientist Donnie in Rise, there is something so endearing about gentle and soft-spoken nerd Donnie in 03 (and Bayverse). Raph really gets to show off his more protective side in this iteration too, which i LOVE!! and everyone knows i have a huge bias for Mikey and i absolutely adore him here bc while im a fan of lil baby bro Mikey (12 and Rise) i fucking love how much more boyish and innocently insensitive he is in 03, like yeah thats a teenage boy who would sneak out to attend a rowdy party LMAO. 12 also kind of made me dislike Leo a little (again. what were the writers thinking especially with KARAI HIS SISTER??) but i loved him in Rise, so again, i was surprised that i LOVE 03 Leo, who's a lot more traditional but also has super endearingly dorky moments. and s4 Leo is just. [SCREAMS].

yeah im so normal about TMNT03 i promise i promise im so normal yeah you can stick your hand into the bars of my cage haha i wont do anything i promise im normal–

[forever-eternal]

Some more of Alternate Fenris: Like I said before, if you want to give them a nickname-- feel free!

Outertale

This Sans is an astrologist and rocket scientist, though he doesn’t share a heart condition as bad as his counterparts he still isn’t allowed to have coffee. Coffee cake, which is Papyrus’ specialty and favorite thing to make, is an amazing substitute and in many more flavor combos than the drink. This Fenris believes gravity is a social construct and floats around half the time, no matter what form she’s in. The humans trapped on the asteroid belt have evolved to not need air to breathe.

Dancetale

Flexibility training allows Fenris’ focus on complex aerial and acrobatic dancing, but will breakdance with Sans and perform fast-paced Latin dances with Papyrus for fun. This Fenris is more focused than she is mean, though her bluntness can still be read as rude by those who don’t know her.

Reapertale

With adopted brothers being Reapers, the Gods of Death, Fenris is the Spirit of Redemption and Retribution. Sometimes seen in dark forests as an abnormally large, white wolf that seems to glow faintly in the dark. More usually seen as a shoeless, hooded figure with a Double-Bladed Axe.

Mobtale

Part of a crime family. Sans is a member of the Upper Circle known as The Judge, while Papyrus is a lower rank referred to as Guard Bones. Fenris manipulates the housing market by buying/building and selling towns in a select area, selecting someone to be ‘Mayor’, and using their money to add onto and upgrade the town (think that song ‘Nook, Line, and Sinker’ by Stupendium). The town’s all depend on how much money the Mayor collects and gives to her. This puts all the blame on ‘Mayor’ instead of herself, even if the residents are the ones who didn’t pay anything.

Some of her towns are great places to live, others are not. It all depends on how much the residents are willing to pay for upgrades and upkeep. When the ‘Mayor’s get rowdy, she has her brother and the Family to back her up.

Oceantale

The Fontman Family have been pirates for generations, born and raised on the open seas. It was only a matter of time for them to find a selkie, a young Harp Seal Selkie. Despite the fact that she’s full grown, this Fenris retains her white fur when she’s decided to go about as a seal. Her love language is gifting shells and other pretty things she finds in the ocean, and these item have only grown more valuable the longer she lives on the ship. She has never heard of a hairbrush.

Instead of a werewolf, she becomes a seal with walrus tusks, nearly the size of a humpback whale.

Storyshift

Princess Fenris is the youngest of the Fontman Royal Family. One of her brothers, Prince Papyrus, vanished when she was still super young. Her oldest brother, King Sans, is incredibly protective of his remaining sibling. This Fenris is a bit younger than most of her alternates, about 17, and is very sheltered. Despite this, she is still incredibly curious and is often in places she shouldn’t be.

[glowingplant]

ahh! i have a lot of asura (in the sense i have a lot of characters in general) but here are a few for you <3 i think they're all cuties.. i hope you like them! i added a little info for each of them if anyone's interested :3c

Agent Xerit

an order of whispers medic, who sometimes does undercover work infiltrating the inquest (she's one of the healers i run for wvw!) she's going to spray you with chemicals (positive)

Virologist Koyyo

a scientist who left the inquest behind but has since been 'reacquired' (not entirely willingly) because he's a really valuable asset... he's kind of bitchy and doesn't think himself a great person, but he's actually sweet.

Illusionist Mori

an elegant mesmer who performs and assists her husband (ringmaster verrin, who belongs to my partner) in the circus he runs. she's seen equally often in her armour combo and the little outfit. i think of the outfit more as her 'performer's clothes' she's a good stepmum!

Magister Keelu

a magister of the priory, particularly interested in meteorlogy and the like. likes to look like a little princess. the definition of that meme of the blue eyes that stare into your soul. once she was old enough, she fled from the inquest where her mother, Statistician Anova raised her with her little sister, Astronomer Iddrin in tow

(both of those relations are on the account, but their not level 80 and so looks aren't complete yet <3... her sister Iddrin though uses astralaria, as they both are sort of celestial-themed legy users <3)

Innovator Virpia

funnily enough, Virpia is actually keelu's older half-sister from anova's previous marriage (pre-joining the inquest!), not that either of them know this! virpia runs her own krewe and to her knowledge is the youngest of three siblings (the next tow characters being those)

Demolitionist Arlo

the middle sibling of this trio! he's a bit empty in the brain, likes explosions, hence the job title! also a member of Virpia's krewe. he's a bit headempy. has a weird gay thing going on with a fellow krewe member

Advisor Lyza

the oldest of these three siblings! one of my fave characters! she's so funny! she thinks herself super important and above her siblings, because she's the advisor for Councilor Agana (my partner's oc!) of the arcane council, but really she's mostly a glorified secretary who gets no respect, except recently she's been tasked with doing some under the table liaising with, Liaison Tarris (my partner's oc!), an inquest agent. she is having toxic yuri with both of these women.

Apprentice Toola

weird little horsegirl who's very academic, and should be studying at her colleges (her parents believe this is what's happening) but she ran away to the circus! (the same circus Mori works at!) we love this for her. she's best friends with Mori's stepdaughter!

Dynamist Derra

got kicked out of too many krewes for being too rowdy! eventually, she ended up in Virpia's krewe, because they're a real chaotic bunch! she was my first asura on the account <3

Necrotechician Ivo

Derra's gf! also chaotic, and a member of Virpia's krewe. has a big fascination with necromancy and technology being fused (like Oola), and mostly researches that. has a big stylish hat. likes feathery things!

Assistant Zeevi

an ex inquest operative who left after not being treated great by his boss for like a decade? very scary sniper! <- which is mostly what his old boss asked him to do, while still treating him like a glorified secretary (he and Lyza would have a lot to talk about) mostly spends his time in southsun cove now

Optimizer Yzma

an absolute fave of mine! morally dubious scientist, but not an inquest member, despite the number of requests they send her asking her to join! she lives like a hermit out in mount maelstrom and has a weird on again off again relationship with Assembler Kaddri, who's next!

Assembler Kaddri

grumpy, Yzma's old lab partner, before things went sour. they still have a weird toxic yuri thing going on though. kid of a hypocrite who didn't take issue with Yzma's morally dubious research until it involved her brother, Ezell (up next!!) also, the sister to Anova, and so the aunt to all those little fuckers up there ^

Archivist Ezell

hermit-like archiver who is constantly pursued for his weird necromancy research he did like a decade ago at this point. the only one in this family who's not blonde I guess. he just likes being left alone with his books mostly. he's also, being Anova's brother, the uncle to all those guys ^

p.s. absolutely no hate towards you op, or anyone that does use this term, but if anyone wants to discuss my little guys, a small note that I personally don't like referring to my asura rats out of purely personal preference, so please just say asura for mine <3

I'm hurting super bad this morning (physical), so I would like to see the cutest rats you've got, GW2 community. Could you reblog this and just show em off?

[erenspussy420]

TWST ANDROID AU PT 1

Warning: Hey while this post doesn’t contain any Nsfw stuff my blog is, so please be careful and enjoy the Au. Thank you  -Mod 420

Fem Reader Insert

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

(Ring Ring Ring)

The store you entered was brightly lit by over hanging chandeliers that looked very expensive and frankly you can bet it cost more than your house. It’s pretty though, it’s twisted rails remind you of a tree. There are three levels open to the public, the ground level you are on and a second from the grand stair case that leads up to a second level of androids. You heard there’s a fourth level, but no one can really tell you if it’s true or not. There are large cases before you, Three rows, each with a different android, and guessing from their color schemes divided by what collection they represent.

 You step closer to one of the cases peering in, eyes wide as they took in the immaculate details of the android. So life like, they looked like they were just sleeping. You couldn’t even tell it was an android if it wasn’t for the fact their chest didn’t rise, or the cables that were charging them. Their clothes white with black checkered sash that crossed their chest, the cape that made them seem bigger than the android really was, that or the high heels the android sported. And even if the cape didn’t indicate how important this android was, or expensive in your mind, the crown and scepter in their hand surely did. Their hair was such a beautiful red, that even roses couldn’t even compare.

Your hand reached out to touch the glass, before you hand could touch the glass a loud voice startled you.

“Welcome, dear customer! I greet you and most graciously ask you to come to our store!” A figure stepped out from behind a the glass cases, with a duster in one hand and a large practiced grin, their face obscured by a mask that covered their upper half of their face. You step back, surprised and a little wary. Where did this person pop up from?

They step forward slowly, careful as their heels clicked on the blue mosaic tiles. They curtsied and gestured for you to come closer, with a patient smile. You shouldn’t really, you only wanted to peek inside, see what the big hubbub was about from your friends, you didn’t think the owner...manager or whoever this was, was like this. They’re of average height, black glossy hair and dressed in a soft mix of pinks, stepping closer you can smell a soft mix of flowers on them. Before you knew it, you have already came too close and you can see the delicate details of scales on their mask. She didn’t seem to mind though, so you guess you were in the clear. With a grand sweep of their arms, they present the glass cases before you with a showman’s voice:

“In this world, there are companies who created androids to serve humans. Be they a servant, caretaker, or even a companion!  Please step inside out store and browse our large Twisted Collection modeled after our dear beloved Seven! There are many unique androids dear buyer! From our large collections we offer the best we have!

Oh! I see you spotted this rowdy group!

This group is one of our largest collection! The Heartslabyul Units have all six figures including the prized Roseheart Unit legacy! His signature red hair stands out from all other units as it is ONLY to be used by the Roseheart Collection. This group is quite lively and each unit have their own unique personality and interests! The Deuce Spade Unit and Ace Trappola Units are our most buy-together units in our group! They’re rather the trouble makers, but please don't let that put you off from them their both quite endearing in their own ways but truthfully in my opinion they’re quite the combo! You have siblings? Need a baby sitter or rather a boyfriend material? Our unit Trey Clover is just the man for the job! He may look plain but don’t let that fool you he’s quite charming and trust me I would put a ring on that finger in a heartbeat! Need a picture perfect photo or how about a scoop on the hottest trends? Look no further we have the amazing Cater Diamond or as his fans call him Cay-Cay! The Heartslabyul Collection isn’t a easy dorm to list off, but hopefully you get my point! 

The Savanah Units while less than Heartslabyul have their own gruff charm. The Leona Kingscholar Unit is quite coveted and while not as popular as it’s brother unit, Farena, it’s still one of our top best-sellers! His beauty is nothing to scoff at and his intelligence can keep up with even the brightest, however he tends to be on sleep mode most times so be aware. The Ruggie Bucchi Unit, is small in stature but he’s quick on his feet and very resourceful! His ear’s are soft to the touch and any owner would be happy to have this money saver unit in their homes! And finally we have the Jack Howl Unit, ah! Don’t be scared he’s quite the sweetheart! While his looks tend to intimidate most buyers, he’s a loyal hardworking unit who’s tough exterior hides a golden core underneath!

Ah yes, we even have Units that shape-shift from our limited edition Sea-folk Units! Octavinelle Units are quite popular! Azul Ashengrotto Unit, is quite the smooth talker if I do say so myself! His second form is quite a beauty, but he’s a bit shy so you might have to work on that. Ahaha, the twin Units Floyd and Jade tend to be bought together and don’t seem to get along with other units, unless it’s the Azul unit to keep them company. It’s to be warned they do tend to be quite naughty so keep your head in the game!” The figure spoke so energetically, pointing to each unit to you as if they were simply long time friends and not androids.

And in a way they felt  like it.

 A loud clap from your tour guide drew you back, and you realize you had only seen the floor level units. Your tour guide, really what can you call them tour guide seems rude, but they really hadn’t told you to call them anything by- waited patiently for your reaction, the way they press their lips together suppressing a smile.

“So what do you think? Quite the beauties aren’t they?” She asks. She taps her heels and turned to point to the Riddle Unit.” He’s my favorite, that one. Funny too.”

“Yeah, um,” You point to the stairs, the woman turns comically following you finger’s direction,” I heard you have more? Can we see them?”

“Of course sweetie!” the owner, you think as that’s more easier to say, agrees she strides forward towards the stairs so quickly you ran to catch up. “Prepare yourself! There’s so many to see!”

You’re halfway up the stairs when the owner turns to you with a pleasant grin, you wonder does her mouth ever cramp from smiling so much?

“Be careful now, this is where the magic begins!”

.

.

.

[washidashi]

HELLO I AM VERY INTERESTED IN YOUR BASIL BROTHERS PROPAGANDA

this has been sitting for I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG in my asks but to this anon: I see you, I hear you, you are the sole person who has unlocked my infodumping on this propaganda so hERE WE GOOOOOO 🗣️📣💥💥💥

⚠️Disclaimer 1: I don't really know what to call this ..AU?? idea??? bro idk I just love Basil so much and the idea of him having a sibling (or siblings 👀👀 more on that info down the line) makes my heart happy bc god danggit this boy deserves siblings who care for him >:-1 💢💢

⚠️Disclaimer 2 there really isn't much of a formulated story behind all this when really it's just tidbits of me talking about this idea from time to time jskdfds ALTHOUGH! I do have a Twitter mutual who might plan on making an actual AU with this mechanic/idea of sorts, more of that down the line!

((beware of OMORI spoilers and all that jazz btw! with that being said, let's head on to the very beginning of when this all began! apologies in advance that this may be long and if you'll be seeing a lot of twitter screenshots, that's because my propaganda for it started there! 😃🎉))

OK so this all started on the last week of May, which, tmi was also when it was my birthday (yay) and the universe decided to gift me: Rowan 😌💗

For those unaware, Rowan was basically known as the "beta Basil" or the beta design of Basil before he became well, Basil! This art made by Omocat dated back in 2012 features Rowan with rowdy hair (that isn't really as defined as Basil's but, it's there), a sweater vest + shirt combo, and a flower on their head, similar to the present design of Basil

idk where it truly started, but he blew uP on Twitter thanks to user @/znazzysam

It became the talk of the community for a couple days and that of course included mE 💥👄💥 I was just so darn intrigued at the thought of Basil's former design and how people comment on how he looks 'aggressive' or 'emo' and it's just so funny that the identity of Rowan looks and feels so different to that of Basil

And so my brain started to voice out ideas on what or who Rowan could be on twitter and it eventually led to my brainrot over Basil and Rowan 🥴 excuse the barrage of Twitter screenshots below being such examples!

I'm sure there was more but that was most of it. At first I thought of him as a separate entity/character unrelated to Basil and may even be featured as a character in the story (ie he'd gang up with Aubrey and the Hooligans, he's rowdy and mean etc.). Eventually though, I started to see him as someone who is related to Basil and eventually tweeted this:

ever since that tweet I now thought of Basil and Rowan as twins and GAHHH IT JUST ALL WENT DOWNHILL FROM THERE /s and now I started spewing more ideas about them living under the same roof ✌️😚

And because I only found out now that Tumblr limits its number of media to 10 per post I'm gonna have to split this into 2 parts JKSDFNKJSDF ^^; Will be sure to indicate it in the next post for your reference, anon!

[jadethest0ne]

In your OH! Au what is each brother’s particular dynamic with each other? I saw your tall and smoll comparison with Raph and Leo and was wondering about the others as well.

I actually have a lot written on this in my notes. Here’s the non-spoilery stuff that I can share:

Leo and Raph - You can read here for the Tol and Smol content ;3 Also, as I mentioned in that post that the two of them spar a lot with each other. I’d like to add that because of this, during fights with enemies, they’re good at reading each other's movements, allowing them to make combo moves on the fly with little to no preparation or prior planning.

Mikey and Raph - These two are a chaotic duo. Mikey and Raph have the lowest amount of self-preservation in the group, and are the most likely to run into a fight or messy situation without thinking. It usually goes that Raph’s rash behavior often gets them into trouble, while Mikey’s quick thinking often gets them out of it, and they will often leave a lot of destruction, and angry and confused villains in their wake. On the flip side, they’re the duo that is most in touch with their feelings and are very good at teaming up to support their siblings if they’re feeling down. Mikey will often cling to or climb over Raph, and Raph is happy to oblige. Out of the four, Raph is most into sports, especially hockey, and Mikey is usually the one he’ll go to to play with or try knew techniques. These two are also the best at skating and skateboarding.

Mikey and Leo - Leo is the younger brother this time and Mikey sometimes has trouble reigning their often mischievous sibling in. Mikey is generally really lax with their other brothers, but tends to be a little bit more no-nonsense with Leo. It’s partially because Leo is Mikey’s only younger brother, but also because Leo sometimes has the most difficulty with his emotions and Mikey feels the need to “help” out. This can get on Leo’s nerves, but ultimately, he is grateful for his older sibling. Mikey is one of the few people that is able to get Leo to laugh consistently, and he enjoys their often corny jokes and puns. Leo is often the one that Mikey comes to when they’re excited about something they like and Leo will gladly listen to them for hours. They’ll sometimes collaborate on creating stories together as well.

Mikey and Donnie - Similar to their relationship with Leo, Mikey is the emotional support to Donnie’s more guarded personality. Meanwhile, Donnie’s straightforward and analytical mind is something that Mikey relies on and keeps them grounded to reality more. If Mikey is stuck on a plan that needs a bit less chaos and a bit more actual planning, they’ll turn to Donnie. Mikey very much respects Donnie’s science and technology, even if he doesn’t really get it all the time. They geek out about musicals and fantasy based rpgs a lot, and collaborate on clothing designs as seen here.

Donnie and Raph - Out of the four turtles, Donnie and Raph are the oldest and have known each other the longest. They take a lot of comfort in each others’ presence, Donnie’s cooler nature being very grounding for Raph, and Raph being a strong, protective force for Donnie.  Their personalities and attitudes are incredibly different, and they don’t share that many interests, but they enjoy hanging out in the same space doing their own thing. They share a room that looks like a weird Frankenstein patchwork of their two opposing aesthetics (which is a description that both of them would appreciate - Donnie for the reference to the first true science fiction novel and Raph for the monster vibes). They enjoy playing puzzle games together.

Donnie and Leo - Out of the four, Donnie and Leo probably get each other the most. They’re both the most morally ambiguous of the bunch, and aren’t opposed to using underhanded or unnecessarily violent means when dealing with enemies. While Raph and Mikey can be a danger to themselves when they team up, Donnie and Leo are often a danger to others. Raph and Mikey will go into a situation without thinking; Donnie and Leo scheme, and it will always end badly for whoever is on the receiving end. They aren't allowed to team-up on missions because they will cause absolute havoc and likely topple several world governments (either accidentally or on purpose) in the process. They have similar pasts and emotional scars and understand each other in that way. The two will go to Raph and Mikey for when they want comfort or to open up, but if they just want someone who understands, they will go to each other.

The Turtles and Splinter - Splinter is a relatively young parent that was not expecting to have to take care of four rowdy teens. As such, he can be a little directionless with his parenting, but get him into “teaching” mode and he’s usually good. He is sometimes an overly relaxed parent and allows the boys to do almost whatever they want, but is very protective over them when danger is involved. He also makes sure to spend time with them when he’s not out and trying to provide for them. Mikey will often join him in the kitchen and help him cook or bake. Leo likes meditating and gardening with Splinter. Raph trains a lot with Splinter, and watches martial arts films with him. And with Donnie, Splinter is one of the few people that he can techno-babble at without his audience getting too bored or confused (Splinter may not get all of it, but the two have similar “lecture” voices and hold an appreciation for education).

[adulttrio-imagines]

Adult Trio at the Carnival with their S/O

@iaal ‘s amazing beach headcanons planted the scenario in my head, and the previous ask got me thinking. It has now consumed me. Enjoy.

Hisoka

- The trash clown is in his habitat and he is a monster

- This man LOVES carnivals, he will drag you around to try everything, and maybe a couple times for good measure, just trying to clear out whatever game stand he might have missed out

- Since I headcanon that he has worked many odd jobs throughout his life, he’s no stranger to carnival games and knows all the little secrets and tricks behind them. This makes him the most dangerous customer at the fair and he sweeps the prizes of them all. You get first pick for your favorite prize, and he’ll hand the rest out to kids since he’s too lazy to carry them all

- He likes anything involving aiming and precision, so those stalls are the first to get hit

- If you insist on playing as well, get ready for him to get very close to you as he teaches you how to play properly, his hands will wander and you’ll both get hot and steamy

- He can get extra rowdy and break games just from sheer force, and if the attendant expects him to pay for the damage, he’ll laugh in their face and feign innocence before leaving you to deal with the consequences

- Gets really into the festive spirit, he’ll buy all the typical snacks and more, but don’t expect him to take more than a bite of two out of them. He’ll proceed to litter them around the park because he is a literal child

- He’ll drag you into watching a circus performance with him, and proceed to ruin all the fun tricks by spoiling you to the mechanisms behind the acts. He’ll embarrass you even more if the performance doesn’t reach his standards by challenging the other performers to their own game, and you know he’ll win.

- Of course, if they don’t rise to his bait he’ll just toss popcorn at the people in front of him to ruin the show for everyone else

- I can see him entering a fortune teller’s tent for fun just to see what his future holds. He’ll laugh at you if you get a bad fortune. But if they don’t impress him he’ll show them how a real fortune teller would work with his own set of cards

- If by this point security hasn’t caught up to him, he’ll start hitting the rides, and it’s only the most extreme of vomit-inducing roller coasters for Hisoka. If you get sick he won’t even help since he won’t want to get his outfit dirty

- He’s a fan of the spinning tea cups and would use bungee gum to prevent other cups from spinning just to get a laugh out of the bewildered face of the attendant and other guests as he spins circles around them

- You might be hunted down by security at one point for all the destruction, but it’s just another game to him to see how long you both can go without getting caught

- As the night goes on and he’s had his fun, he’ll scale a Ferris wheel and watch the fireworks from the top to avoid the crowds. It’s also a good time to get intimate and see how much he can get away before someone notices you both

Chrollo

- Surprisingly, Chrollo enjoys carnivals too, and for the same reasons as Hisoka, though with different motives

- Lively crowds packed into small spaces with plenty of distractions, it is a perfect place for a pick pocketer to be

- He doesn’t even have to be inside the carnival for this to happen, the amount of people around the ticket booth is enough to get him started, and you can bet he bought your tickets with money he stole, and this number will only increase through the day

- Of course, no one suspects the well dressed polite young man and his date, even if his smile is a little too happy when the person next to him panics over their lost wallet

- He’s obviously the best date partner for this situation out of the trio, since he’ll insist on paying for everything, but you should know better than to accept everything at this point since it’s secretly a loan and the interest rate is high

- He doesn’t particularly like the overtly sweet and greasy food at the fair, but he is a big fan of caramel apples and will try to find the best store at the fair

- To keep the act up, he’ll play at a few game stands to win you the prize of your choice if you insist, but he’s more interested in watching you play so he can silently judge your form, though this means you get to surprise him by getting him a prize

- Strangely enough, people just gravitate towards you both whenever he plays a game and before long you both would be surrounded by a small crowd cheering him on

- Occasionally, he might help a struggling parent-child combo win a prize of their choice, if only to distract them as he robs them of their cash

- He really likes carousels just for the sole purpose of people watching, so don’t be surprise if he spaces out from time to time

- I can’t see him enjoying any of the rides, but he’ll humor you and go for one or two before pulling out. If you insist though he won’t hesitate to leave you alone at the carnival without your wallet or phone.

- Would suggest you both go into the house of mirrors with the sole purpose of disappearing playing around with you, of course he’ll show up right before you freak out too much or leave and act as though nothing happened

- While he’s not too interested in the shows, he’ll go for the magic one just to mess with the magician. He’ll disappear for a moment before it starts and come back in a very smug mood as the magician struggles to perform any of his tasks and have all of them fall flat on his face

- If there is a freaky museum thing going on, he’ll definitely insist you both see that, just so he can take a look and see if there’s anything worth taking inside. There usually aren’t, but he has a good time telling you how to spot a fake.

- As the evening rolls around and there’s a lake nearby, he might suggest you both get on a boat to wind down from the activities and talk about things

- At the end of the day, he shows you all the little trinkets that he has stolen, very pleased, and might even gift a few to you

Illumi

- While the other two enjoy their time, Illumi refuses to go anywhere near a full fledge carnival for all those reasons so you’ll need a compromise

- He will humor your request if you ask to go to a summer matsuri since it’ll be less crowded and much calmer

- If you are a fan of couple outfits, you are in luck, though only if you like wearing yukatas as Illumi will be dressed in one, he wouldn’t wear anything else since it is the most traditional of outfits

- Would criticize every small mistake on your yukata, he’s very particular about the details, but you can trust him to fix it for you

- He’ll mostly observe you for the most part, like some quiet force standing behind and watching your every move. This of course scares most of the stall owners, but they will give you a discount if you ask for it

- He’ll humor most of your request if it doesn’t take much from him. Like you want to wear a mask? Cool. Play another ring game? Sure. But don’t expect him to join in for anything too cheesy like couple outfits, he still has his pride

- If you take too long to win a game he’ll just move along to the next stand, he won’t help you as he expects you to be self-sufficient. If you aren’t strong enough to handle some carnival game, he would even go as far as to consider breaking off from you since the Zoldycks can’t have a weak link

- If you do manage to win and expect him to cheer you on, he might do his robotic laugh and pat you on the head, but it’s very fake and somewhat condescending. You both know that.

- He can down those piping hot takoyaki balls like a champ, most like since the heat receptors in his mouth don’t work that well anymore, this scares most of the people around him

- On the topic of food, he’s pretty bad at sharing despite having so many younger siblings, so don’t expect him to let you have a bite of whatever he buys. Obviously he is allowed to take from you what did you expect

- Most of the activities he would choose would be something that his siblings enjoyed, not because he personally likes them

- He likes fishing for goldfish the most since it reminds him of the time he did it with Killua once when they were both younger, and he is very good at clearing out the fishes, so catch some before you both get banned

- If there is an eating competition, he will go watch it out of morbid curiosity

- He leaves before the actual fireworks start since activities such as these tire him out, but more truthfully, they just make him very nostalgic and miss his brother more

[eudaemaniacal]

longpost: recap + further adventures of the Break Stuff Club

previously: Our Heroes took a two-month slog through a grueling Death Temple to secure the mythical Eternal Flame and enough loot with which to buy a bag of holding. The wizard Naxene Drathkala would combine the two to combine a safe, portable incubator for Simon’s egg in return for escort to the walled town of Goldenfields. Hananya was accosted by the urchins of Waterdeep for mysterious reasons; he’s told you can’t get away from Fletcher, whoever that is. Also, his mother Lady Baeonse’s latest effort to bring him back home has seen half the city plastered in posters bearing his likeness. This was funded by the Lady’s newest consort, John Zed (known by his initials, JZ). Mordok hasn’t heard from his lady, Silda, who last we knew was taking the criminal Iarno Albrecht to face trial in Neverwinter.

Ana convinced everyone to break into a graveyard so they could find some goths (hoping she’d be able to find other people who know about the Raven Queen, who has apparently been forgotten during Ana’s 500 year sleep). There was some trouble getting in-- when Simon and Ana were cornered and Simon’s (bad) bluff failed, he misty-stepped away. He also touched her boob. And caused several fires.

No worshipers of RQ in the graveyard! But there were goths.

The party heads to Goldenfields.  There’s a hole in the walls surrounding the town and its fields-- the result of a giant attack. They were driven off, but little has been done to repair the wall since. Here they meet exciting local color, including the dashing dragonborn bard Tony Raspberry Antoine Laframboise. Antoine, surprisingly, has been to the remote country of Zembla, where Simon and Julia are from.

This is the third of some very RP-heavy sessions-- the previous two fit all in the previous paragraphs, and I am skipping a LOT. So.

Our heroes wander and explore Goldenfields, combo town/abbey dedicated to the goddess Chauntea/massive agricultural complex. Mordok admires the stonework at the abbey and befriends two semi-feral black bears. The abbot is planning a picnic! We’re invited!

He tells Silda about this via sending stone... and shortly thereafter gets a reply: “Who’s this?” Julia, meanwhile, is hungover. She repairs to the public baths, where she meets the guard Zi. She’d been charming Zi the previous night; Zi’s frustrated with Goldenfield’s defenses, and especially with the hole in the wall. She tried to be direct with the abbot and the captain of the guard about her concern, but was brushed off. Julia suggests an innovative strategy to the forward and earnest Zi: passive aggression. During the picnic, they will conspicuously attempt to make repairs to the wall and they will do a bad job. Simon tries apologizing to Ana for being a rowdy boy. He wants to make it clear: he acts stupid or clownish sometimes, and there’s a reason for that, but it doesn’t excuse his behavior. When his siblings got involved in their bizarre murder-and-inheritance game, it was easier for him to either roll over and do as they said or just to act like a fool. They’d like him that way or at least they wouldn’t kill him. Apology accepted! Hananya meets other druids and devotees of Chauntea. He helps them get ready for the picnic by getting completely fucking blazed on pipeweed. While at the picnic, Antoine makes the rounds and romances everybody. With a hand-drum he accompanies Ana's bagpipe cover of a song originally performed by the founder of her remote village, Gingivitis Immolation Buffet. The song is Margaritaville.

Mordok gets staggeringly drunk. Hananya gets into arts and crafts. We learn that previously, he’d taken drawing lessons. He even drew the portrait they use on his wanted poster! Now he is using his talent to make bank on crop art TF commissions for various partygoers. Zi asks him what it’s like to turn into an animal. “It’s like pooping extra legs.” Antoine asks Julia: is Simon her boyfriend? No-- but he is her ex. That gives her some unique perspective for Tony’s next round of questions. What does he like to drink? Is he as skittish as he seems? How would you romance him?

Julia, Zi, and Mordok then go to the wall for repairs. Mordok is still drunk; he just heard there was stonework to do. They have to dissuade him from doing a good job. They move rocks around aimlessly. I stepped out to go to the bathroom at this point but someone I fully believe was the Monopoly Man yelled at them for ignoring the proper bureaucratic procedures. Julia is satisfied with this result! It means they have been seen to do a shitty job, they have been seen, and they have been seen to have been seen: the equivalent of putting a post-it on the wall reading FIX ME, PLEASE! :)

Antoine observes Simon at the picnic. He’s been riding around in the boughs of an awakened tree with a bunch of local kids, showing them card tricks. Antoine offers to help him down. I am so excited I fall out of my chair. Likewise, Simon falls out of the tree. Tony tells him more about his trip to Zembla! He had a lavish reception there, though people seemed disappointed when he didn’t (couldn’t) do magic. He’s even been to the court and seen the Dragon Prince. Simon chokes a little, but he confesses: he’s the Prince’s illegitimate son. Antoine shows Simon the painted miniature he keeps in his locket-- a human girl about 8 years old, his daughter Yvette. They have some very sweet moments and Antoine makes his move: can he visit Simon’s room later? uhhhh yeah

He also reveals that like Simon, he is a Harper (faction that’s like DSA Faerun but secret). He alludes to Mordok’s concern over Silda’s probable disappearance-- it’s a long, long way to Neverwinter, but there might be a quicker way there if we visit Everlund. He can’t say more, but (WINK WINK!) “the shortest way between two points is the glow of the moon.”

Hananya observes the arrival of a messenger, who visits with the innkeeper Miros. Miros leaves suddenly, in obvious distress. Hananya follows, finding him in tears at the inn. Miros’ parents have been killed in the giant attack on Nightstone (which we’d learned about previously). Hananya tries to offer what comfort he can by fixing him a cocktail, something he calls the Nasty Boy. The evening winds down in the inn. Ana performs the Cranberries on the pipes (yes, inside) in an attempt to silence Oren Yogilvy, local halfling entertainer, who she hates. Julia recites I’ve Been to a Wonderful Party. Mordok aggressively, woefully plays the spoons and Hananya invents a new and conceptual style of playing the flute. Simon reconvenes with Naxene, who has finished her modification of the bag of holding; it’ll hold the egg and very little else, but it now functions as a secure and portable incubator. Simon and Antoine meet for their Romantic Evening (”I would like to learn more songs in Zemblan-- such a beautiful language” “yes, it’s a graceful tongue :) :) :)”) when the alarm gongs on the walls begin to sound.

[halfabreath]

Ooo what about BBB and “I’m gonna lunch a pumpkin”? 🌸

thanks you so much for the amazing prompt! i’m assuming you meant “punch a pumpkin” so i went with that! sorry it’s a little late, but hopefully you’re still in the thanksgiving mood.

Bittle Birkholtz Brousins: the masterpost, the tag, ao3

NOVEMBER 24, 2004

“But Mama –” Eric protests, socked feet trying and failing to find traction on the hardwood floors as Suzanne pushes him down the hallway. “I don’t want to sit with him!” He says, brutal honesty winning the day over forced hospitality.  At eight years old he’s not tall or strong enough to resist her but he leans back anyway, reaching out in an attempt to catch the crown molding with his fingertips to use as a grip.

“Dicky,” Mama scolds, hands firm but gentle on his shoulders. “You’re gonna sit with your cousin and you’re gonna be civil.” She comes to a stop just before the threshold to the kitchen, where the dreaded kid’s table is waiting for him. Mama turns him around and kneels, reaching out to straighten Eric’s bow tie. “I know y’all don’t get along but Dicky, you have to be a good host. He’s family and he’s new here.” Eric frowns, but she turns him and again and pushes him through the door before he can protest.

The kitchen, only recently vacated by his aunts and grandparents, seems strangely empty. The smells of the day have mingled together in an appetizing menagerie of poultry, sugar, and spices, but even the grumbling in Eric’s stomach isn’t incentive enough to take the only open seat.

“Be a good host,” he mumbles under his breath. “Be a good host.” Eric takes a fortifying breath and walks across the kitchen to take a seat next to his new cousin. There are only four chairs at the table, two of which are occupied by his Uncle Roy’s twin daughters. They’re only six but they’re well behaved and still tired from their nap, sitting quietly as they eat their dinner. They’re even chewing with their mouths closed, which is more than Adam can do, apparently.

Adam doesn’t speak when he settles in, cheeks bulging with food as he chews. Both his elbows are planted on the table and his long legs are splayed beneath the table, his knee encroaching on Eric’s space. Eric presses his legs together and starts spooning food onto his plate, arranging each dish carefully in a neat circle. He glances at Adam’s plate, wincing when he sees everything piled up in the middle of the plate in an unsightly mound of conflicting textures. Eric turns his attention back to his neat plate and carefully ladles gravy into the divot he’d carved out of his mashed potatoes. He pours in just enough so it flows out one side, spilling directly onto the turkey. He glances back at Adam’s plate, noticing that his mashed potatoes are naked. Be a good host.

“Would you like gravy, Adam?” Eric asks, holding out the chipped gravy boat he insists on using. It’s Mama’s old one and she always tries to throw it away, saying it’s too cracked to be used by guests, but Eric loves the intricate, if faded, design painted along the sides. Adam glances over at him, briefly, before turning his attention back to his plate with a firm shake of his head. Eric deflates and sets it down.

In movies - not that there are many Thanksgiving movies - but in movies or TV shows or commercials Eric’s seen the kid’s table is a rowdy affair. Not so at the Bittle-Birkholtz Thanksgiving - Coach and Mama have two siblings each but only Uncle Roy and Aunt Judy have kids so they didn’t even have to adjust the four chairs that usually sit around the kitchen table. The kitchen is quiet as the cousins eat, only the soft scraping of silverware against the ceramic plates disrupting the silence. Eric works his way around his plate, mixing flavors and textures appropriately. Beside him, Adam shovels food into his mouth, mixing up everything on his plate until the food is mashed up together in a disgusting gray lump. They only look up from their food when footsteps echo down the hallway from the dining room, their gaze trained on the entrance as Adam’s father appears. He almost fills the door frame; he’s the tallest one in the family by far.

“Hey, Eric, Hannah, Alexandra.” He greets warmly, a smile peeking out from his thick blonde beard. Eric gives him a little wave, which he returns. “Adam, I have to head to the airport to make my flight but your stepmom will give you a ride home in a few hours, okay?” Uncle Jacob’s voice is soft, gentle in a way Coach’s rarely is. Adam just nods and looks back down at his food, dragging his fork through his mashed potatoes. When Eric looks back Uncle Jacob is frowning but the expression quickly smooths over when he sees that Eric is watching. He waves again and disappears. Adam’s up in a flash, the chair squeaking sharply as he pushes it back suddenly. His long limbs flail as he runs across the small kitchen, loud footsteps coming to a stop just outside the door.

“Dad,” Adam says, voice easily carrying through the kitchen. “Can you drop me off at home before you go? Please?” He asks, desperation undercutting every word. Even so, Eric glares at the part of the wall he knows Adam is standing behind. How rude and selfish and inconsiderate after everyone worked so hard making the food he’d barely touched.

“Adam, no –” Uncle Jacob says immediately. Good. At least Uncle Jacob has manners, even if he hadn’t passed them on to his son.

Adam’s not deterred, though. “Please, Dad.” He whines, and Eric huffs in annoyance. Doesn’t he know everyone in the kitchen can hear him? Their girls aren’t paying attention but Eric certainly is.

Eric’s gaze drops to the shadows the father and son cast down the hall, just barely able to make out the movement of Jacob shaking his head. “No way. It’s bad enough I have to go to work.” He points out, and Eric agrees. At least he has to go fly a plane; it’s one of the better excuses Eric can think of to get out of a social engagement.

“Dad, I just want to go.” Adam says quietly. He sounds more restrained, like he’s trying to keep himself calm.

Jacob huffs out a soft laugh. “Why, so you can watch Friends re-runs? I don’t think so.” It sounds like he’s about to scold his son, and Eric knows it’s not polite to eavesdrop but it would be satisfying to hear his rude cousin called out on his poor behavior, so he straightens up in his chair and focuses on listening to the conversation happing outside the room.

Instead of an admonishment, he hears a soft sob. “I don’t – I don’t know anyone here.” Adam says, voice thick with tears, and suddenly, Eric doesn’t think this is very funny anymore. “I don’t fit in and no one likes me and they like, whisper when they think I can’t hear and ask me weird stuff and I just really, really want to go home.”

“Home to the house, or home to Buffalo?” Jacob’s gentle tone is back, sincere with worry, and Eric considers getting up to give them privacy but he can’t risk them hearing him move – then they’ll know he’s been eavesdropping for sure and Mama will be so disappointed in him. He hasn’t been a good host at all.

“I don’t know, maybe? Just somewhere that isn’t here.” Adam says, the words broken up by sniffs and sharp breaths. Eric looks around the kitchen, unable to imagine not wanting to be in his favorite place in the whole world. He wonders, absently, where  Adam’s favorite place is and if it’s even in Georgia at all.

There’s a rusting sound that Eric thinks might be hugging, and when he glances down the two shadows have merged into one giant one. “Adam,” Uncle Jacob says quietly, sounding almost as sad as Adam is. It’s strange; Eric didn’t think dads were supposed to get upset like that.

“Please.” Adam’s voice is muffled but Eric can just barely make out the word. He looks back down at his plate, ashamed that he’s been listening this whole time.

They’re quiet for a long moment until there’s more rusting and the shadows split into two separate forms again. “Son, I know this is hard. You’re in a new place with new people but they’re all family and they might not know what to say or what to do but they care about you. Besides, how do you think Judy would feel if you left?“ Uncle Jacob reasons.

There’s a pause and a short sniff before Adam responds. “Sad, maybe.” Adam mumbles, speaking softer than Eric’s ever heard him.

“Sad, definitely.” Uncle Jacob corrects. “She loves you so much, Adam. And I know you love her, too. This is the kind of stuff we do for people we love. Okay?” Eric shifts in his seat, wanting to give them privacy but two afraid of making noise to actually move.

Adam sniffs again and when he speaks his voice is steady. “Okay. For Judy.” He says. Eric relaxes, relieved he’s calmed down. He shoves a forkful of food into his mouth; he should have been eating this whole time. Hopefully Adam doesn’t notice when he’s come back and realize what he’s done.

“That’s my guy. I have to go, but I love you so, so much, kiddo.” Eric can hear Uncle Jacob’s smile in his voice. It’s weird to hear a dad admit it so readily. Mama says it often, but it’s a once a year admission from Coach.

“Love you too, Dad.” Adam says easily. Footsteps echo back down the hall. Eric’s not sure how long Adam stays in the hallway but when his cousin walks back in his eyes are dry and only a little red-rimmed. He picks up his fork but doesn’t eat.

“Hey,” Eric says suddenly. Adam looks over with flat eyes and a frown already on his lips. “I made a pie today, all by myself. Do you want to see?” He’s already jumping out of his chair but he just manages to catch Adam’s unconvincing shrug and nod combo. He carefully picks it up from the counter, the old tin still warm beneath his hands as he carries it over to the table. It’s slightly less perfect than he remembers it being when he’d pulled it out of the oven hours ago. The crust isn’t uniform in color, texture, or pattern and he can see precisely where little air bubbles had formed in the pumpkin filling, but it still smells amazing when he ducks his head to sniff it. Adam leans in after, still congested, but he gives Eric a little smile anyway.

“It looks really good.” He says slowly, like he has to convince himself to say the words at all. Maybe he does, and maybe that’s okay. Eric’s realizing he doesn’t know nearly as much about his cousin as he thought he did.

“Do you want to eat it?” Eric asks, and Adam nods before he even finishes he sentence. Adam searches around for new plates for all four of the cousins while Eric slices out four unequal but triangular slices. His hand wobbles as he transfers the slices to the plates but he doesn’t drop any of the pieces. Adam distributes them while he grabs the whipped cream, and they pass the container around until everyone’s ready to eat.

The girls eat quietly but Adam hums a second after his first bite, eyebrows raising in surprise. The bottom crust isn’t as crunchy as Mama’s pies and Eric thinks there’s maybe a little too much cinnamon, but even as the pie’s list of faults grows the other three people at the table keep on eating.

“You made this by yourself?” Adam asks halfway through his slice. He sounds impressed, and he actually turns to face Eric when he asks the question instead of staring down at his food.

Eric nods proudly. “Mama didn’t help me at all! She usually does but she was so busy today that I made it from scratch.” He knows it’s not polite to brag but Adam doesn’t seem off put. He actually pauses before his next bite, looking down at the piece on his fork thoughtfully.

“Cool.” Adam says, and takes another huge bite. He chews and swallows quickly. “It’s really good. You should make more.”

“More pumpkin pies?” He asks. Bitty hadn’t considered that. They’re only in season for one day of the year. Then again, Mama bakes almost every day, and he always likes helping her, so maybe he could do that, too.

“Any pie.” Adam says with a shrug, picking up the remaining crust with his fingers. Eric doesn’t think he’s ever seen any kind of food disappear that quickly before. It’s encouraging to see how Adam doesn’t seem to care about any of the flaws Eric has tallied up in his head. They’re actually getting along, too, so maybe he should start baking more. For the peace.

“Thanks,” he says, turning his attention back to his own slice. The flaws don’t seem to stand out as much anymore now that Adam’s reaching for another slice. The grownups pour into the kitchen soon after with empty plates and serving platters. Aunt Judy dances through the crowd until she reaches Adam’s side, immediately pulling him close. He goes easily, shoulders relaxing when she combs her fingers through his short hair.

“I’m sorry that took so long, sugar. I just need to get my stuff and then we can go home; your dad said you were tired.” She’s looking down at Adam in concern, brows knitting together the same way Mama’s do when she’s worried.

Adam glances down at the plate, at Eric, and then back up to his stepmother. “You don’t have to rush. I can stay longer.” He says easily, shrugging one shoulder casually. Eric looks over at him in surprise, but luckily neither Adam nor Judy see him.

“You sure?” Aunt Judy asks, brushing her knuckles over Adam’s cheek. Mama did the same thing when Eric had a fever a few months ago. Adam smiles and it looks genuine; Eric hopes it is.

“Yeah.” Adam says easily. He looks over at Eric and offers him a little smile. Eric returns it and picks up the pie plate, holding it out to the two of them. Aunt Judy and Mama both get slices but Adam eats most of it, accepting every slice Eric hands him.

TEN YEARS LATER.

“Yo, Bits! Bit-tay!” Holster’s booming voice carries through the Haus, growing louder as he thunders down the stairs from the attic. He’s yelling so loudly it almost dwarfs the sound of his feet thumping on the creaky floorboards. “B-Train! B-Titty! Itty Bit - ” He swings into the kitchen, face falling when he sees the chaos in the kitchen. Bitty’s kneeling on the linoleum floor, tears in his eyes and flour smeared over his cheek as he picks up the pieces of a ceramic pie plate. The entire contents of a bag of flour is spread out over the kitchen table, forming little white mountains and valleys. There are pumpkin guts smeared over the cabinets and a beautifully dressed but still completely raw turkey on the counter.

Adam’s not stupid enough to stomp over to Bitty and risk cutting his feet and legs on the many shards scattered over the kitchen floor, but he does spring into action. He slips on a pair of shoes and tiptoes through the mess until he can kneel in front of Bitty, who’s sniffing quietly as the gathers the pieces of the pie plate in his hands.

“Hey, Bits.” Holster says quietly, placing a careful hand on Bitty’s shoulder. His cousin looks up at him with wide, wet eyes, and Holster has to hold back every instinct he has to pull Bitty in for a crushing hug - his cousin is still holding ceramic shards, after all, and Holster doesn’t want either of them to get impaled. He leans back and just barely manages to grab onto the trashcan with his fingertips, dragging it over so Bitty can dump the shards into the trash. The moment his hands are free he buries his face in Holster’s shoulder, clinging to him with a strength that most people would find surprising.

Holster’s not most people, though, and he never underestimates his brousin. He wraps his arms around Bitty’s shoulders, rubbing up and down his back soothingly. “So, uh,” Holster begins, but before he can continue Bitty’s speaking a mile a minute, the words spoken against the soft fabric of his t-shirt.

The first burst comes out in a confusing jumble of muffled syllables Holster can’t make out, but when Bitty turns his head to take in a shaking gasp of air the words become clear. “And I didn’t put the blender lid on so the pie filling went everywhere and I was trying to clean it but then I dropped my pie pan and it’s one of the ones your mom lent me but when I was cleaning I forgot to put the turkey in and now Hausgiving is ruined and everyone will be mad and it’s my first Thanksgiving in the Haus and I just want them all to like the food!” Bitty’s voice gets higher and more frantic with each word, but Holster just holds him tightly until he’s finished speaking.

“First of all, everyone already likes the food.” Holster says calmly, knowing that when Bitty panics about people liking his food it’s rarely about the food itself. “They’ll like it because you made it! And because their only other option is cafeteria turkey and like, Bits. That’s not a high bar. That’s maybe the lowest of bars. It doesn’t have to be the best turkey in Massachusetts because these assholes wouldn’t appreciate it if it was.” Even with their history, Holster knows he’s guilty of this as well - just last week he’d dumped Sriracha on the fancy French scrambled eggs Bitty made, but in his defense, how was he supposed to know that Gordon Ramsey’s recipe was difficult to make? All eggs look the same! Holster shakes his head to clear his mind; he’s getting way off track. “Besides, Judy won’t be mad that the pie plate’s broken. Bro, you have no idea how much shit I’ve broken over the years. She’s totally used to it by now.”

Bitty sniffs against his chest and even though the trembling in his shoulders is ceasing Holster knows he has to step up his game. He glances around the kitchen, steady gaze traveling over the series of catastrophes that befell his cousin.

“Hey, tell me all the food that’s giving you trouble.” Holster says in a moment of inspiration. His top priority now is getting Bitty cheered up - Bitty’s freakishly productive in the kitchen under most circumstances, but sadness isn’t one of them.

Bitty finally looks up, swiping the back of his hand under his eye. “Why?” He asks, and Holster’s relieved to have his focus. His lips are still turned down in a sad little frown, but at least now he looks more intrigued than devastated.

“I’m gonna beat it up.” Holster says simply, like it’s a normal thing to do. Bitty’s mouth drops open in surprise.

“What?” He asks, doubting if he’s heard correctly. He sits back on his heels and scrubs away the last of his tears with the back of his hand, finally fixating on something besides the mess he’s in.

Holster nods seriously. “Bitty, I’m gonna kick the ass of each and every vegetable, mineral, or vitamin that’s caused you trouble today.” He says, clapping a heavy hand on Bitty’s shoulder. It’s comforting, because Holster, for all his loudness and snark, is inherently comforting as well, and Bitty can’t help but smile.

“What, you’re going to punch a pumpkin, or something?” He asks, grinning up at his stupid, brilliant, idiotic, hilarious cousin.

Holster’s eyes light up and he stands, assuming a fighting stance. It might be threatening if Bitty didn’t know his only reference was undoubtably Mortal Combat II. “I’m gonna punch a pumpkin, Bits, and you can’t stop me. I’ll drop kick that motherfucker right into the sky.” Holster’s getting into it now, waving his hands dramatically as his words grow more impassioned. He’s about to go full Cosmo Kramer, Bitty can tell, so he stands up and bats Holster’s hands out of the air.

“Please don’t murder my pie, Holster.” Bitty says, unable to keep from laughing even as he speaks.

Holster rolls his eyes. “Ugh, fine. But that pumpkin’s on thin fucking ice.” He points at the pumpkin rind and the orange mess that’s sprayed over the cabinets and wall, admonishing the vegetable forcefully. Bitty’s laughing when Holster’s phone chimes, and he pulls it out of his pocket to glance at the screen. “Hey, Ransom’s about to get coffee from Annie’s. You should go with him.” Holster says, and it’s clear from his tone that it’s not a suggestion, but Bitty just shakes his head.

“But I have so much to do! I can’t just leave! There’s the mess and the pie and the turkey and, and, there’s so much to do!” He protests, looking around at the mess that’s surrounding them. Something hot claws at the back of his throat as pressure begins to build behind his eyes again, but Holster steps in before he can start crying again.

Holster takes a step towards him, careful not to step on anything sharp. He settles both his big hands on Bitty’s shoulders. “But you can take a break. You’ll be gone fifteen minutes, tops, and when you get back I’ll have everything cleaned up so you can start fresh.” He says, using the soft tone Bitty rarely hears him use with anyone else besides his mothers or Ransom. He squeezes gently, a comforting pressure. “I’m pulling rank, Bitty. Get out of here.” He pushes Bitty gently towards the door, giving him plenty of time to step around the ceramic on the ground.

“Thank you, Adam.” Bitty says once he’s clear of the mess. His jacket is draped over one of the kitchen chairs and he can hear Ransom making his way downstairs as he shrugs it on his shoulders. Holster waves him off.

“No worries, brousin. This is the kind of shit we do for people we love.” Holster smiles and Ransom appears at the bottom of the steps before Bitty can reply. He looks into the kitchen, perfectly sculpted eyebrows raised in concern, but Holster just shakes his head once, a quick little motion, and Ransom immediately nods in acceptance. Bitty’s had his fair share of silent conversations with Holster but even he has to admit that they’re on a whole other freaky level.  "Now go get caffeinated and make sure Ransom only gets one extra shot of espresso. Oh, and Bits -“ Holster pauses just before Bitty opens the door.  "If I see you two do that fucking PSL handshake, I’m going to burn your turkey.” Holster threatens. Bitty laughs as he walks outside, Ransom right on his heels. Holster glances around the kitchen and gets to work, only stopping to make a quick call as he sweeps up the pie plate.

“Hey, Jude! Judy! Juju beans!” He greets, putting the call on loudspeaker before setting his phone on the counter. “What’s up? So, hypothetically, if I had to cook a turkey as quickly as possible, how would you, in your infinite wisdom, recommend doing that?”

[wengoku]

im pretty sure even pharmersea could be improved by replacing angela w angelo.. like yeah itll me mf rather than ff but instead of pharah being disrespected and accessorized to uplift a boring white woman itll be a sweet rowdy arab lady and a gentle caring black man being a team and helping each other.. im weak

i wouldn't ship it cuz i think fareehas a big lesbo but id love a sweet sibling relationship like mccree and pharahs😢😢😢 theyd have 2 b popular characters cuz of the pharmecry combo anywho so like !!!