#roundabout way of figuring out what i was so to speak. but it seems like there are still pockets of thought and feeling from that time in my

[kyuuppi]

How they react when you're jealous

Ft. Wanderer (Scaramouche); Xiao; Zhongli; Childe; Venti; Albedo; Tighnari

(gender neutral reader but Childe refers to them as "princess"/"prince" once)

⭐ Wanderer

+ This man is actually insufferable, good-fucking-luck

+ He acts so smug 'cause of course you'd be jealous, he's revered and worshipped by the masses!! (he's not)

+ Will probably cockily tell you you'll just have to get used to it, he's a god afterall so it's expected that he'll have many loyal fans all vying for his attention—

+ It's all a farce

+ In reality, he's kind of in shock that you'd really be jealous over him, the useless puppet discarded by his own mother—but that's his unresolved insecurity and mommy issues talking

+ He'll keep up the façade and tease you for a while until he realizes you're genuinely upset—then he'll find some roundabout way to tell you that you have nothing to worry about, he only has eyes for you...of course he'll never directly admit that, though

"Hah, you're jealous? What a foolish human emotion—of course I'll be adored by thousands..."

The Wanderer cuts himself off as he takes in your tense form, brows furrowed and eyes looking anywhere but him as you quietly seethe. His chest clenches in that weird way it only seems to do when you're involved.

"Wait...don't tell me you're actually angry...?"

You don't show any signs you even heard his question and the Wanderer sighs dramatically, averting his own gaze to hide his reddening cheeks as he mumbles his next words.

"You have nothing to worry about, idiot...you're way above any of those other weaklings anyway."

⭐ Xiao

+ I'm sorry but he literally is incapable of understanding that you're jealous

+ Like...he can barely even process that you like him, let alone recognize the advances of another random human who is interested in him. The time he even spends with others is extremely limited unless you're involved so there aren't many chances for anyone to talk to him

+ If it's something like another adepti or half-adepti, like Ganyu, who he's been spending a lot more time with lately training, you might feel insecure by your own mortality, which Xiao can somewhat understand but still doesn't get the jealousy part

+ Tries his best to try to comfort you though, even if it means shyly asking Zhongli or Verr Goldet

+ Surprisingly ends up coming to the best solution—spending more time with you

You nearly jump out of your skin when you turn to find the figure of your boyfriend standing behind you on the balcony of Wangshu Inn. You're certain he wasn't there just five minutes ago.

"Huh? Shouldn't you be training Ganyu today...?" You ask, feeling slightly sick at the mention of the pretty half-adeptus girl. She was a sweetheart and a great friend but you can't help but to think about how much time she's been spending with Xiao. You're sure she doesn't have any ulterior motives but you can't help but to think about how much prettier and stronger she is compared to you. Surely Xiao sees it too...

"We agreed to take a break for today," Xiao immediately answers, slowly stepping forward until his cheat is nearly touching the back of your arm, so close you can smell the faint traces of his natural scent—something fresh and crisp like the mountain air.

"Instead...I want to spend some time with you—if you'll allow it." He says softly. You momentarily freeze, not used to Xiao initiating dates. Unperturbed, he continues speaking.

"I thought we could do that mortal activity you told me about before. I think it was called...a picnic?"

⭐ Zhongli

+ The god who has ruled over humans for over 2,000 years—of course he's familiar with such a common emotion like jealousy. Even if he himself has yet to experience it

+ He would never assume you were jealous unless you openly tell him about it

+ But then he's quick to assuage your worries and maybe even propose some sort of compromise that can satisfy you both

+ Spends a night absolutely spoiling you until you hardly remember you were ever jealous in the first place, if that's what you so desire

"Ah, it seems you may have misunderstood my relationship with the funeral director, I apologize if I caused you any discomfort," Zhongli tells you earnestly, gently holding your hands in his own, much larger ones and holding your gaze so intensely you find it impossible to look away.

"Now tell me, my dear, how may I settle your worries? Perhaps we should take some time away, just the two of us?"

⭐ Childe

+ Idk how you even got jealous in the first place cause this man is glued to your hip

+ Slightly flattered when he recognizes your signs of jealousy cause he just sees it as proof of how much you care about him

+ It may feel a bit demeaning at first but he will not take your jealousy seriously. He baby talks, pinches your cheeks, and teases you but will not show any genuine concern—not because he doesn't care about your feelings, but because he's so sure that he only has eyes for you that he thinks your jealously is completely unreasonable in the first place

+ As a big fan of PDA, he takes the advantage to be more touchy and affectionate with you in public under the guise of "showing everyone he's yours"

+ If anything, he's the one whose always jealous when another person takes so much as a second of your attention—but you don't need to know that

"Aww, is my prince/ss pouting now? Ahaha, don't look at me like that!" Childe effortlessly dodges the elbow you aim at his ribs after he pinches at the fat of your cheek for the third time today.

Not perturbed in the least, Childe sticks himself to your side and continues to grin down at you, uncaring of the strangers who glance at you two with strange looks as you make your way through the busy streets of Liyur Harbor.

"Here, how about I make it up to you and we go on a lunch date? My treat!"

⭐ Venti

+ Another one who doesn't take your concerns seriously

+ However, unlike most of the other men, it's pretty reasonable to be jealous with how Venti talks to everyone

+ He's naturally romantic and seems to possess no clear boundaries, leading to him saying things that could be construed as flirtatious without him even realizing it

+ When he's tipsy on dandelion wine, it's not unusual to see him belting out ballads and serenading anyone nearby willing to give him the time of day—though, in reality, his love songs are all actually written about you

"Oh, my windblume is feeling a bit jealous?"

You don't bother providing a response but Venti doesn't seem to need one.

"Ehehe, so cute," he coos, shamelessly wrapping his arms around you. Any feelings of jealousy you hold are quickly being replaced with embarrassment at how other patrons in the crowded bar frequently glance at you and your loud boyfriend.

"No worries, my love, this poor bard's heart only beats for you! I'll even prove it with this song I wrote..."

⭐ Albedo

+ It's Sucrose, isn't it?

+ They spend all those hours locked up in a small lab room in the depths of Dragonspine—its only natural that you'd feel suspicious right?

+ Wrong

+ When he's not with you, Albedo literally only thinks about his experiemnts or drawing. In fact, the times you and Albedo are together are really the only time anyone ever sees Albedo actually listen to someone outside of the Knights of Favonius and talk about things that aren't directly related to alchemy

+ As the so-called "chalk prince," it's not that uncommon for people to find him physically attractive and try their luck—but any deeper feelings usually vanish when they realize he has no interest in them. That and his blank stares can get rather unsettling...

+ If you do get jealous about Albedo being around anyone, it will eventually go away on its own as you realize this man is literally incapable of recognizing flirting

+ (Also, Sucrose is literally an angel and would never jeopardize your relationship. Like, she actively ships you guys together, pls—)

"...which is a particularly unique property for this chemical given it's electronegativity. In fact—oh, [Name], what are you doing here?"

You try very hard not to laugh at the relieved expression the woman Albedo was previously lecturing shoots you. She wastes no time slipping out of the lab while Albedo is distracted, his ocean deep eyes staring at you with a mix of surprise and quiet adoration.

"Ah, it's about lunch time and I don't have any commissions today so I thought we could go get something to eat together. Sorry if I'm disturbing you—"

"Not at all," Albedo interrupts, quickly putting away the glass vial he previously held and removing his latex gloves.

"A visit from you is never a disturbance," Albedo admits plainly, oblivious to the way his words make your chest squeeze.

"Now let's go. If we hurry, we might be able to make it to that place you like before they get crowded."

⭐ Tighnari

+ Lmao what are you jealous of, a flower?

+ This is another Science Man™️ who literally sees nothing but his work. Unless there's a rare sentient species of seductive mushrooms in Sumeru with it's sights set on fennec fox boys, you have nothing to worry about

+ Collei sees him as something akin to an older brother figure and Tighnari is too sassy for anyone else to get close unless they're interested in joining the forest watchers

+ If you tell him you're jealous, he's probably going to call you an idiot for even thinking he's interested in anyone else

Tighnari looks almost annoyed at your confession, glancing up from his journal only to shoot you a glare.

"Hah? Did you accidentally eat some hallucinogenic mushrooms again? I don't have enough time entertain things like that. What a ridiculous accusation."

Annoyance bubbles up inside you but, before you can act on it, Tighnari is already standing from his desk, striding over to you quickly to gently pull you along with him.

"Now come with me. I found an interesting flower on the outskirts of camp I think you'd like."

The proud grin highlighted by the sparkle in his eyes as he looks up at you quickly cuts off any protests you were going to make.

[plussizeficchick]

The Weekend | Eren x Chubby!Reader

Summary; Eren and Mikasa have been “dating” and while reader originally had no interest in him, the way Mikasa’s been acting sure does make him look more appealing ;)

Warnings; Smut, “cheating”(they’re not explicitly boyfriend and girlfriend), College AU! P in V, cunnilingus, cum eating, slight breeding kink, Mikasa and Historia are pick me’s and terrible friends lol. Loosely based on the song by SZA(might make a part 2 idkk, not proofread) PART 2

It was a bit difficult making friends at your University. For the most part, everyone had their set friend group so you knew it wouldn’t be easy finding people to hang out with during this new semester. 

That’s why you were glad to meet Mikasa and Historia. 

They were both in your Sociology class at Eldia University and they were having a bit of trouble when you offered help. They were nice, though they could be a bit catty. They introduced you to their other friends so you thought they were nice enough, but you noticed a change when they were around the guys. 

They would make offhand comments about your figure, your outfits, sometimes your attitude. It was off putting, to put it lightly. So, you’re thicker than the two of them, so what? It shouldn’t affect them. And while they may be comfortable suffering in silence, you were definitely going to speak up when you felt like it.

You were certain it was jealousy. The way they spluttered when you asked them to elaborate, the way they flustered when you mentioned that maybe they just couldn’t pull off plus-sized the way you could, had you feeling vindicated. And the way the boys always seemed to laugh at your jokes had them blatantly envious.

It was a bit pathetic to witness sometimes, the way guys would defend you from their “playful jabs” had thinly veiled sneers etching onto their faces.

— —

It was clear to everyone Mikasa had a thing for Eren and while you thought he was attractive, you could see him being more suited for her. And if the way he casually draped his arm around her shoulder meant anything, you’d say he thought the same. You were sure that she was his type, so she didn’t have anything to worry about.

That’s why it was such a shock when Historia told you she’d slept with him.

“I mean, if he really wanted her, they’d be together already, y’know.” She casually dropped the bomb when it was just the two of you. She was so blasé about it, applying her lipgloss as she made you promise not to say anything, throwing in a thinly veiled threat, “I mean, it’s not like anyone would believe you anyway. Plus, you don’t want to be by yourself, right?” 

It wasn’t so much the threat that made you keep your mouth closed, honestly, you had more morals than that, it was more so Mikasa’s attitude toward the hypothetical.

Throughout your entire “friendship” with the two girls, they’d always seen you as a non-factor. When you’d go to parties, they’d flirt with whomever showed even the slightest bit of interest in you and whenever you’d bring it up, they’d just gaslight you. “If he was really interested, then he wouldn’t have gotten distracted, would he?” And for the longest time, you had explained away their behavior because, yeah, you don’t want a guy that’ll easily stray, but, fuck. If it didn’t piss you off.

You’d originally wanted to tell her in a roundabout way, asking how she would feel if one of her friends were interested in Eren. Her answer, however, caused an unfamiliar feeling in your stomach. “Like who? Historia doesn’t see him like that and no offense, but you know Eren wouldn’t like someone like you.” That got you to thinking.

They think I’m a joke.

You wanted to tell Mikasa. You wanted to tell her when she spent nights crying to you and Historia about how Eren doesn’t open up to her anymore, how she felt he was slipping away.

You wanted to tell her what Eren really thought of her. The way he spent some nights ranting about how he felt obligated to date her, that sometimes he thinks of her as a fucking nuisance, like a snake that keeps coiling around his neck, suffocating. The times he’d wished she’d just take a fucking hint and get that he didn’t see a future with her.

You wanted to tell her about all the times Eren flirted with you, told you not to listen to any of her comments because, yeah, she could never pull off looking as good as you do. The times when he’d purposefully walk behind you, gripping at your soft waist and brushing his clothed cock against your ass, making sure you can really feel the length of him.

You wanted to tell her that even though she might be “dating” him, he was always coming back to your dorm late at night, hiking up his shirt around your waist and pressing his face into your chubby pussy, tonguing at your walls and pulling wave after wave of pleasure from you. That even though Historia may have had him that one time, he’s with you damn near every weekend, playing house.

— —

You’re on all fours, your back arched perfectly to make the glide of Eren’s cock in your sopping cunt that much easier. “Fuck, baby. You’re g’nna make me cum.” He grits out, teeth clenched. You’re squeezing him like a vice, your pussy creaming around his dick so deliciously he can taste the orgasm on his tongue.

He’ll never get tired of this, he’ll never get over how perfect your pussy molds for his cock, the velvety feeling of your cunt clenching around him. He’s panting, sweat dripping from his forehead before landing on the deep arch in your back, trickling down. Fuck, he just wants to devour you all over again.

“‘Ren, g’nna cum.” You moan for him, fuck, your voice is so fucking cute, the way your voice gets all high and whiny, has his cock throbbing inside you. “Cum f’me, pretty. Make a mess f’me.” He groans out. 

It’s embarrassing, the way your pussy squelches as he fucks into you. He fashions your hair into a makeshift ponytail before pulling, bringing your back flush against his chest. His hands are everywhere, groping and pawing at your soft flesh. 

He picks up the tempo of his thrusts, cock slamming into your warm, gushy center. He’s whining in your ear about how good you feel, how perfect you are for him, but it’s not until you hear him mumble about fucking a baby into you that you cum around his cock for the nth time that day. Your orgasm triggers his and before long his cock is pulsing as he fills you full of him.

You’re both panting as you slowly come down from your highs, Eren slowly removing his cock from your abused cunt and the sight of your poor battered pussy has Eren feeling a bit.. peckish.

You’re too busy catching your breath to notice Eren kissing along your spent body, only letting out a surprised yelp when you feel his hands spreading your cheeks and licking a bold stripe up your center. 

You gasp as he eats you out like a man starved, slurping up your combined essence before sucking on your clit. His hands grope the flesh of your ass, occasionally leaving a bruising spank to each side. 

He’s practically making out your cunt, tonguing at the soft flesh and pressing wet kisses to your clit before lapping at the bundle of nerves.

It doesn’t take long before another orgasm washes over you, soaking Eren’s face in your arousal. When he finally comes up for air, he’s pulling you into a wet kiss, the taste of you dancing on his tongue.

He pulls back slightly, pressing a quick peck to your cheek before getting up, moving to get the necessary items for aftercare. He cleans you up, dresses you in one of his favorite shirts and slides on a pair of boxers for himself before sidling next to you. He pulls you flush against his chest, pressing sweet kisses to your forehead as he traces shapes down your back.

This is why you always feel slightly bad for Mikasa. You know she craves for this level of intimacy with Eren and you know that her heart will break when he breaks the news of your relationship to her on Monday.

*sigh* If only she didn’t feel like a 9-5.

— —

Taglist: @xogabbiexo @kinq-sleazee @dabilovesme @blkchxrryblyss @tenyaiidasslut @luna-indigoduh @bookwormsenpai @bl--ankhaeji @thicksimpx @namjoonswifeyy @nasty-quillz @haikyutiehoe @musicisme333 @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @celi-xxmoon

[starrgaziinggg]

SMAU | UNDERCOVER JYP-U

chapter thirty eight -> swings and roundabouts (written 2.5k words)

directory | next part ->

The stress of exams was finally over. Classes were back to normal. You and Hyunjin couldn't be in a better place since the aftermath of the party. Everything seemed to be going swimmingly.

The only exception to this was the fact that you still didn't know who the evil mastermind behind the undercover JYP-U account was.

As much as you tried to push it out of your mind, it plagued your every thought. Who knew all these secrets about your friends? Why did they lie about Jeongin? How hadn't you been able to figure it out yet?

It was Jisung’s idea to get everybody together to discuss an action plan for figuring out the perpetrator and taking them down, which he had relayed to Chan. The first victim of the account was still as pissed off as everyone else, and although the repercussions for him hadn't been as severe as some others, he felt the exact same as you. You couldn't just sit back and let this account attempt to deface and destroy you all.

Chan had managed to snag a free room at the campus coffee shop, a secluded area, allowing you the privacy to talk about the subject without lingering people. You had to get away from the prying ears of your fellow university students. It was beyond time, you thought, for some action to finally happen against the account owner.

"So," Chan starts, student body president mode on. You sat to the left of Yuna and to the right of Hyunjin, listening to him intently. Everyone else in your friend group, bar Lia, was sat around too. "I've tried to trace the IP address - dead end. I've tried to contact the people who run the social media website and they've been useless."

"It's all dead ends," Jisung confirms solemnly. "Whoever it is knows what they're doing."

"So if we can't figure out who it is from a technological standpoint," Jeongin speaks up. "We're just gonna have to do it the old fashioned way."

You nod, shrugging your shoulders. "There's someone out there who knows all these secrets and we have no idea who they are. Doesn't that seem impossible?"

"Completely, but it's clearly possible," Minho sighs, giving you a half smile. "They knew about an injury I didn't speak a word of. Unless they got their binoculars out and watched me bandage up my leg through my window, I don't see how anyone could have figured that out."

Changbin snorts at that, quickly trying to compose himself. As much as Minho was trying to make the situation more light hearted, it was serious, and you weren't about to find out who was behind the account by cracking jokes.

"So let's just start naming people," Felix suggests, his eyebrows raised. "Go through anyone we suspect and cross them off the list if there's reason to."

There's a collective nod at that, everyone in agreement that this was the best way to go about things.

"What about Lia?" Jisung says, grabbing everyone's attention. He looks at everyone perplexed. "What? I'm serious, it could be her. We hardly know her."

Lia was the only person not in attendance at your meeting. You didn’t want her to bin off the extracurricular that gives her extra credit for her degree, so she’d given the meeting a miss. It might have been for the better anyway, since it was Jisung's first guess.

"Okay," Yuna sighs, her fingers pressing into her temples. "Let's think about this properly. Lia's a literal sweetheart, you really think she's behind this torturous account?"

"Sometimes people aren't what they seem," you shrug, a sad motion. You feel Hyunjin place a hand on your thigh and you smile up at him, glad to have the comfort. "And we've known her less time than anyone else at this school, so who knows what she could be capable of."

"That's true," Seungmin smiles at you sadly, looking as though it's paining him to talk about Lia like this. You knew the two of them were getting on well.

"But that's exactly the thing," Ryujin sighs exasperatedly. "We've known Lia for the shortest amount of time, but she's known us the same, so how would she ever know all these things about us?"

"That's true," Minho says, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. "Perhaps Yuna was drunk one night and let her secret slip without realising, and she found the old lyrics to Ji's song in class and whatever else; how would she ever know the details to my injury? Or about Seungmin's dad, which nobody else knew about? And why would she lie about Jeongin cheating?"

There's a couple seconds of silence as everyone takes in Minho's words, a nod of agreement running through your group. The silence continues when a worker comes into the room you're all in to clear some of the used mugs away, a clear indication that you did not want this conversation to get into the wrong hands.

"Unless Lia is just some psycho who wanted to wreak havoc, there's no real reason for her to want to spill these secrets," Jeongin says quietly once the worker leaves, putting it plainly, and you nod at him.

"And, I think we're all kind of forgetting something," Felix says almost sheepishly, as if he doesn't want to bring it up.

"What?" Ryujin asks without thinking twice, everyone's heads turning to Felix. You catch the way Changbin almost glares at Felix, and you realise he might not be as okay about their secret as you initially thought. Although Changbin and Ryujin had ended, it was still pretty fresh.

"Lia wasn't there that night, you know," Felix says with a cringe, desperately hoping everyone knows what he's talking about. You all do, easily, so you speak up to avoid tension as Felix attempts to hide in his baggy hoodie, letting his blonde hair fall in his face.

"That's true - Lia was sick in her room," you agree, remembering the night of the party. "She looked awful the whole two days beforehand, too, so unless she managed to somehow run to the frat and back whilst having a 39.5°c fever, I think we can start to cross her off our list."

"I can vouch," Yuna says, nodding her head with wide eyes. "She was so unwell, there was no way she could have known about that unless either of you two had told her."

"We didn't tell anyone," Ryujin mumbles, and you can tell she does not want to hang onto this topic of conversation long.

"So if we've concluded it can't be Lia, all that does is give us a whole lot of nothing since we still don't know who it actually is," Jisung groans, frowning. "This is a living nightmare."

"You can say that again," Minho yawns, checking the time on his phone. "At least we know who it's not."

"Hold on," Ryujin speaks up, a thoughtful look etching her features. "We're forgetting the one person who hates all of us."

All eyes turn to her as she tilts her head, staring back at everyone. "Yeji."

The thought had crossed your mind a million times. You'd basically kicked Yeji out your friendship group after all the drama she had caused, so who else would hate you enough to spread gossip about you all?

"I did think that," Yuna says, nodding her head at Ryujin. "But I don't really know anymore. Firstly, she's been almost MIA this whole semester."

"That's true," Jeongin nods, adding onto what Yuna was saying. "She attends classes and then heaps of study sessions and from what I've seen hardly goes out anymore."

"I don't think she's that spiteful," Chae says, and although you know she's trying to defend her, you can't help but agree. "Yeah, she could be a real bitch, but would she really waste her time on something like this?"

"Jeongin said the same thing to me before," you agree, watching the younger boy nod his head at you. "I've suspected her the most out of anyone, but I think at this point it's a stretch. Unless she did some serious digging, she wouldn’t know any of this shit about us. And, if she's as up to her ears in work as Jeongin says she is, how the hell would she have the time?"

Minho nods, sitting back in his chair lazily. "If I know Yeji, and unfortunately I do, she wouldn't bother her rats ass about getting 'revenge' on us. She has much more important things going on in her life."

"I agree with that," Hyunjin speaks up. "I know the way her family works. She'll have a lot of responsibilities that literally make it impossible for her to have the time to do this, and on top of her coursework? Doubt it."

You don't think twice about Hyunjin's comment, knowing that he probably knows how her family works because they're just as high up on the social hierarchy as his.

"Could it just be some random we go to school with?" Chae asks, deep in thought. "Someone who doesn't like the fact that our group is well liked?"

"I thought about that too," Changbin says. "But there's no intent. It would be genuinely psychotic for someone who hardly knows us to want to ruin our lives like this."

Jeongin looks around the room then. “Who hasn’t had a secret revealed about them?”

“Me, Hyunjin, Chae, Changbin, Chan, Lia…I think that’s it,” you respond, met with a chorus of nodding heads.

“Save from Lia, we’ve all been friends for years,” Chan speaks up. “And the secrets have impacted us all. If the person behind the account was someone at this table it wouldn’t make any sense whatsoever. Why would one of us want to attempt to destroy our own friendship group?”

“Exactly,” Seungmin chimes in, shooting you a grin. “It can’t be one of us.”

"This is bullshit," Jisung interrupts, rubbing at his eyes. "We've traced the IP address and it lead us to fucking nothing, we've contacted the website to shut down the account and they've done Jack, the uni can't do anything about it - how the hell are we supposed to figure out who this bastard is?"

That kind of leaves everyone stumped, because god if any of you knew. Nobody says anything for a while, just sitting in relative silence, until Chan speaks up.

"Look, we can't give up. This fucker has caused us all too many problems this semester for us to just forget what they've done. Nobody should be able to get away with spreading personal information like that with no consequences, and I'll be damned if I just sit back and let it happen," he says, and you swear it's the angriest you've ever seen him.

"You know what I'm thinking?" Jeongin says, inciting a bit of hope within you. "You know that school gossip page? What if they're behind it? They just put out that weird statement, but what if they’re just trying to cover their tracks now that things are getting serious?”

Everyone kind of looks at each other then, as it's something none of the rest of you had considered.

"I mean it would make sense, considering they're always spreading the drama after the account posts. Plus, we don't know who runs that account either, so if we find out whose behind the gossip account it could lead us closer to whose behind the JYP-U undercover account," Seungmin agrees.

"Knowing who it's not gives us a good start, we just need to keep looking for clues and narrowing it down," Chae adds on, trying to boost the groups morale as usual. "Why don't you guys trace the IP of the gossip account and see what you find and we can go from there?"

Jisung nods, looking towards Changbin and Chan. "We can get on that tomorrow, let you know what we find?"

The guys nod in response, and it makes you feel a little better knowing you at least had something to go off of.

Chan sighs after that, placing his hands on the table. "It's getting late, and we're all clearly exhausted. I say we go home, get some rest, keep doing our best to figure this out and reconvene when someone's got something. Hopefully the gossip account gets us somewhere."

There's a collective agreement that runs through the group, and it doesn't take long for you all to get your shit together and go your separate ways.

Hyunjin walks you home, hanging back so it's just the two of you. He intertwines his hand with yours easily.

"Do you realistically think we will figure out who this psycho is?" He asks, his hand enclasped with yours. You give his hand a squeeze in response.

"I think we will. It's only a matter of time before the truth comes out," you reply hopefully, walking up to your dorm building. He turns to you with a sinister look.

"It's not you, is it?"

You push his arm, laughing in response. "No it's not me, you idiot. And it's not you?"

"Never me," he replies, which makes you laugh even more. He pulls you in tight for a hug as he always does when you inevitable have to depart, kissing your forehead before pulling away. "Get some sleep, yeah? Big date tomorrow and all that."

"Yeah," you respond quietly, trying to take your time basking in his presence, excited about this surprise date he’d decided you were going on. "I wish you'd just tell me what we're doing, you know. I hate surprises."

"A master never reveals his secrets," he says cheekily, giving you a chaste kiss before turning on his heel, waving at you when you use your key card to open the main door to your dorm building. Once you get inside your dorm, the girls are silent for once, and you can imagine they've all crashed as soon as they hit their beds.

You can't help feeling dejected. The only good thing to come out of that whole conversation was that everyone was on the same page about who the account wasn't run by, yet nobody had a solid idea of who it was. You hoped something would come out of finding who was behind that gossip page, but you weren't sure. It seemed like opening Pandora's box; a task that was so impossible you didn't even know how to begin.

But you pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind once again, doing your best to focus on preparing for the date you were more than excited to go on.

and we’re finally getting somewhere with figuring out who it is!! I’m estimating 10-15 chapters left, but god knows because I didn’t think this SMAU would be over 30 chaps nor last a year ahhahah

@cursed-mars-bars @imasimplol @hyunverse @aestaeticous @dorisnumber1fan @amnmich @detectivedoodle @amara-mars @end0rchans @raresevng @nhyunn @lixie-phoria @beomgyusonlywife @seolarpower @cuddlethebear @weird-bookworm @ceelestic @worcesheshestershiresauce @hyuneyeon @downbadreading @where-is-innie @weird0o0 @sxhxnax @moretinyideas @realrintaro @pinkcherryblossomangel @tesywesy @beaann @cutesince2000 @lynlyndoll @furryenthusiastbread @nyasstars @eyearebee @lynlyndoll @seungminindabuilding @chans1aptop @victio

[incesthemes]

there's a somewhat subtle but notable development i've noticed in sam between seasons 1 and 2, in that he becomes much more willing to lie to the people he's trying to help—he starts finding lies a practical necessity and the truth about the supernatural as something to avoid in polite society.

in bugs, sam urges matt to tell his father about the curse, make him understand the severity, while dean instructs him to lie his ass off so his father will get the hell out of the house. this episode favors dean here: larry obviously doesn't buy the curse story, and it's proven to sam that the truth can in fact be more harmful than a lie.

then by salvation, sam seems to have integrated into himself that lying is necessary: when he proposes that they tell monica and her husband the truth, that a demon is coming for their baby, it's a joke. dean registers this joke with a sardonic grin and sam instantly agrees this is a Bad Idea. he's learned from his mistakes.

the development across season 1 is, here, that lying is necessary for them to do their job. people don't believe in supernatural phenomena, at least not insofar as it pertains to themselves, and they'd sooner get arrested than do any actual saving of the day.

case in point.

all this to say i think roadkill is an interesting episode. much of the conflict between sam and dean centers around what information to disseminate to molly, what she should know and what she shouldn't. they go back and forth trying to figure this out, often unprepared for her questions and hiding the truth in obfuscations and white lies. neither of them are so cruel as to tell her anything blatantly false, but neither of them are willing to tell her the full, unadorned truth.

sam has learned his lesson: he keeps everything he tells her in the realm of plausible deniability, refracted through layers of half-truths that don't actually tell molly anything about her situation. even though he is the one who outright proposes that they tell her the truth, he is the one who, surprisingly, ends up telling her the least.

instead dean is the one who offers up the most blatant truths throughout most of the episode. in this sequence, sam even resists the truth, still convinced that obfuscation is what will further their goals most. the truth will make people think they're crazy, it'll get in the way of doing their job. he's not wrong, either:

and until the end of the episode, he continues to bury the full truth and speaks in roundabout ways to keep it from her.

many such examples.

anyway, what i also find interesting about this is that while sam commits to this lesson he learned in season 1, dean is rather forthcoming about the truth. clearly he doesn't like the idea of telling molly what's going on, but he's still quite often the one to offer up a plain, truthful explanation over sam's much nicer obfuscations. which is a little strange, considering he is the one who typically pressures sam into lying and constantly reminds him of the value in lies. not that dean has never cut the crap and offered up the truth—there are plenty of episodes where he does just that—but since a major conflict of this episode centers around this point of contention and since dean has already expressed his unwillingness to tell molly the truth, i can't help but raise an eyebrow.

what this episode also does, however, is parallel molly and sam. similar to maggie in playthings, molly is a monster by circumstance, lonely and afraid. she functions as an allegory for sam as his destiny develops and his fears about his impending doom heighten, and when sam speaks to her he is also speaking to himself, about himself.

ultimately, i think this indicates a development on dean's part, as well. after croatoan and hunted, dean has no more secrets to keep from sam, and he's chosen him as his codependent life partner. more or less, he's "taking responsibility for himself" by abandoning his duty and devoting himself entirely to sam. and sam values the truth: he's resistant to lying to civilians about the supernatural and only reluctantly gives up after a full season of grappling with it, and when it comes to his brother one of the first demands he makes of dean in season 2 is that they no longer keep secrets from each other (it's their major point of conflict between 2x02 and 2x04, after all). it's easily deduced that this stems from his life of exclusion, and it's understandable that sam wouldn't want dean to keep secrets from him now that they've evolved their relationship into codependency. and now that dean has abandoned his duty for sam, dean can eschew the life of secrets and exclusion he's been both knowingly and unknowingly implicit in up until now.

so if molly is sam, then dean telling molly the truth seems to indicate an olive branch of sorts. it's an indication that even if he doesn't want to, dean will tell sam the truth—he's fully committed to the relationship, especially after born under a bad sign where he reasserts his commitment to sam above all else. i think it's a nice symbolic gesture to indicate his character growth. the honeymoon phase that takes place between hunted and what is and what should never be do a lot to explore how their relationship can grow in weirdly positive ways that we really don't see again until like—god, like season 10, and their only barrier to bliss for this stretch of time is sam's all-encompassing existential angst trying to pull them apart (unsuccessfully so, until all hell breaks loose).

but all that said, i think the way truths and lies are explored in roadkill are indicators not only of their own personal developments, but also their developments with each other. molly functions as the conduit through which sam is explored—both dean's relationship to sam and sam's relationship to himself. she reveals what sam fears and what sam values, and she showcases how time has passed for sam and dean and what that time has done for them. sam has learned the necessity of a lie, but he keeps his lies as close to the truth as possible, laced in obfuscation and omission. dean has learned the value of the truth, at least when it comes to his brother, and even if he knows it's dangerous and stupid to tell the truth he will put himself out there anyway, for sam's sake.

i don't know. i think it's interesting.

[gynandromorph]

I wasn’t certain how to phrase this, but there is something really unsettling about the way Samwich speaks. I was chewing on it for a bit and then I realise it’s because they remind me of the therapists from fresh meat. The roundabout way of getting information by asking indirectly or insinuating their thoughts struck me as so sinister! Besides them, I really love how Emily seems like she's sticking up for her sister, missing who she used to be and seemingly confused about her change. And yet.

samwich was definitely interesting to write and i imagine if the scene were in the script instead of an exploratory comic, the exchange would have taken me a lot of time. they use various interrogation techniques (ex, taking the role of an authority figure and insinuating threats to make emily afraid to shut the door on them or withhold information from them) throughout the scene to massage information out of emily and it's difficult to tell what they genuinely mean vs. what they are saying as a rhetorical tool. in writing the manipulative behavior is a lot more obvious.

some instances i can think of... anyway, definitely normal or, accurate, to feel unnerved by their behavior. it's an interesting comparison to compare them to the therapists, but perhaps not unwarranted.

also, i was saying it as i drew this strip, but emily sort of has to mourn her entire family after this, as all of them have changed drastically, irreparably from the people she knew and grew up with. because of how her parents are..... changed, she can't even express her grief about her sister to anyone.

[nayatarot777]

divine feminine check in • pac • week one {patreon exclusive}

these check-ins will be posted on my patreon (check out my patreon schedule if you’d like to). if these messages resonate with you, then patreon is where you can find them weekly :)

these divine energy check-ins can be used to gain clarity on the divine energy within yourself or they can be used for gaining clarity on the energy of a divine partner/counterpart. a lot of people use divine feminine + divine masculine readings to check in on those who they’re in no contact with, for example. others use them to understand themselves a bit better. it’s up to you.

check out the divine masculine’s energy for this week here

find information about personal readings here

choose your pile from either the photos above or the emojis below:

pile one • 🏆

pile two • 🐕‍🦺

• pile one • 🏆

the divine feminine is very alone currently. shes isolating herself. she’s going through a huge ending that she knows is leading to a brand new beginning, but this transition period is extremely lonely. she feels like it has to be for some reason. like she’s clearing out people, places, and things out of her life and she’s currently just waiting for this ending to complete so that a new beginning can come through for her. she could be waiting on something that she feels would signify the start of her new beginning, but this waiting period is full of isolation. she could be using divination such as tarot for guidance through this difficult time and as a way of tying up loose ends. and i’m hearing that through this, she’s learning how to guide herself. she may be alone because she has found her voice again. she’s speaking up for herself and saying what she truly feels and believes. people may not like that. and as a result, she has let people go. she is being guided to extremely loving people who will replace those who weren’t around her for her highest good. there’s also something about lavender here - she may be feeling extremely anxious and lavender will help with that (whether that’s through aromatherapy, smoking the herb, etc). i’m also seeing that she’s in the process of admitting to herself that she does want love. i have a feeling that she has been alone and in isolation for a long while. and i have a feeling that this was by choice. this isolation period was used for her to figure some shit out about herself and the people around her. but this isolation period is ending. and the quicker that she admits to herself that love is what she’s searching for in a roundabout way, the quicker this uncomfortable transition period will end. this feminine seems closed off to love, but this next chapter of her life is a journey to learn how to accept love and the desire for love too. tarot could be helping her to tap into her shadow side. her heart chakra feels very closed and perhaps that’s why she has been denying her needs for emotional support and nurture. speaking to the one or two people who she still may have around her (who she can tell has genuine love and care for her) may help her overcome this. there are at least a couple of people who are there for her who she has been shutting herself out from, but she is being guided to surround herself with these people a lot more. to surround herself with the energy of love in general. “love is a beautiful thing”.

• pile two • 🐕‍🦺

the divine feminine for this pile feels like she’s living in the energy of a victim complex. she feels like she will always be suffering in life, and like she’ll always be a complete victim to life as well as others as if everything is out of her control. this is because she hasn’t befriended any of her demons that haunt her. they’re demanding to be seen and felt and heard but instead of setting up boundaries with them and forming a beneficial connection with them, she allows them to hijack her mind and her entire being. these demons consist of dark memories and experiences, fears and anxieties, her rage too. she has an extremely strong third eye, and she is able to see the dark truths about life easier than most. it seems like all of the darkness that she’s aware of is weighing extremely heavily on her. again, she doesn’t have boundaries with the dark energies that are either projected onto her, that she comes across, or that dwell within her to begin with. but funnily enough, i’m seeing that she actually has the skill and the ability to use these dark energies to her advantage. through setting intentions of her own based on the knowledge that she knows. this is how she could alchemise and use these dark energies to her advantage. this is how she can create her own guiding light instead of feeling just completely lost and hopeless. there’s some type of creativity that her darkness can be channeled into. this is how the divine source gives her ancient wisdom of some sort - and this is how her ancestors do too. she will continue to suffer if she continues to only pay attention to everything that glitters and catches her eye. everything that is a temptation to her. feeding into her temptations is what makes her suffer - meaning that she’s creating her own suffering in a way. when her temptations are offered to her in some way, she doesn’t pay attention to where they’re coming from or the shadows around her that could be influencing her to accept these things. again, she’s a victim to darker energies when she doesn’t have to be. there’s some ancient wisdom that can be bestowed upon her about influencing and manipulating energies with the dark energy that she’s already heavily surrounded by. this is how she can find her joy again. she needs to direct her awareness into the darkness and create light within it through her own creations in some way, shape or form.

[sailorshadzter]

Outsider POV questions why Ghost is with Sansa most of the time when Ghost is Jon's direwolf. They realize why after observing Jonsa.

thanks anon!!!

send me prompts

The first thing Jaime Lannister notices after he’s settled into Winterfell is the great white wolf that never seems to stray from Lady Stark. Each and every time he tries to find a moment with her, to speak with her privately, if even for a moment, he finds that white wolf at her side, bearing its teeth and glaring at him with hellish red eyes. He’s surprised that a woman could ever be unafraid of the creature, but oftentimes he finds her quieting the wolf with a gentle touch of her hand, passing him by before he can bring himself to speak aloud to her. It’s almost as if the wolf doesn’t wish for the Lady of Winterfell to even speak with him. And though he doesn’t want to admit it, the last thing he wants to do is cross the beast. 

He steps out into the courtyard, where the young men are already settled into their usual morning routine; even the youngest lads are learning the art of the sword, in hopes they would have enough manpower to fight against the army of the dead quickly approaching. “Jaime,” a voice says his name and he looks up, finding the ever interesting Brienne of Tarth standing there at the head of the group. “Keep going!” She calls out to the pairs and turns to him as he approaches her where she stands. “I was wondering when you would make good of your promise to help me train these young boys.” 

Jaime can’t help but to grin in her presence, shifting his glance quickly to the boys, each little pairing reminding him of his youth, days long gone, when he’d been eager to hold a sword of steel and not the wooden one meant for children, as he’d often complained. “Might I ask you something?” He asks then, turning back to face the woman, knowing of all people she would know the answer to his question better than anyone else. “That white wolf… I always find it in the presence of Lady Stark… I thought it belonged to Jon Snow.”

To his surprise, a secret sort of smile curves on Brienne’s lips as she glances towards a boy that’s let out a pained howl- his fingers caught by his opponents wooden sword. “One might say the wolf is loyal to both,” she says in a roundabout way, though when Jaime frowns, unsatisfied with her answer, she chuckles. “It’s true, the wolf is Jon’s, but Lady Sansa has become his closest companion, especially in the time that Jon has been away from Winterfell.” Though not entirely accepting of this answer, he moves on from it, deciding perhaps there were more important things to worry about. 

And so, he falls into place beside her, commanding the boys they will train to fight like men.

[ x x x ]

Later that night, Jaime is back in his rooms, though standing at the window that overlooks what was once gardens, but now is nothing but a frozen wasteland. Supper had only just ended, so while it was late, he supposes it’s not all that surprising to see the two forms sneaking through the old garden gate. 

Blinking, he realizes as the moon shifts behind a cloud, illuminating the gardens, he knows the two figures he sees out there. The moonlight catches the vivid red hair he knows belongs to the Lady of Winterfell and the dark curls, though tied back, he knows belongs to her half-brother. What could they be doing, he wonders, watching still as Jon Snow opens his arms to her and she goes willingly, sinking into his grasp as only a lover might do. That’s when it all begins to make sense in his head- the wolf was hers, because she was Jon’s. Direwolves were incredibly smart and loyal beasts and if it was important to its master, it would be important to the wolf. Now Jaime understands the truth about why the wolf remained so close to her side, protecting her as Jon Snow hoped to protect her. 

His lips twitch with a smile, recalling then the look on Brienne’s face when he had asked about the wolf. It was as if she knew this truth he was just now discovering for himself. Jaime can’t help but to laugh as he watches further, until the two disappear into the darkness of the night, the moon hidden behind a cloud.

Now, it all made sense.

[buckysgrace]

Forty One

Billy

He had a hard time sleeping that night. His mind felt like it was racing, his eyes continually darting around the dark space of the room as Russell slumbered next to him. He felt odd, unable to face Kim like he had somehow done something wrong. In a roundabout way, it was his fault. He knew it was risky to not tell Rosemary, but he really had figured that they would be able to do it in their own time.

“You and Kim then?” Russell asked as he stood in front of Billy, his blonde curls dangling over his face as he peered down curiously at him “Is that why you got jealous when I mentioned wanting someone like Kim?” He tilted his head in confusion, but Billy could read the amusement on the corners of his lips. 

“I was not jealous.” Billy said pointedly as he rolled over, pushing the pillow off of his chest as he sat up to the edge of the bed. This had been the first night that Pearl hadn’t come to visit him. He wondered if she was busy caring for Kim. 

“You were,” Russell grinned from ear to ear, “Kim and Billy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love then comes-” He started to sing, looking very amused with himself before Billy cut him off. 

“You’re going to get punched,” Billy said seriously as he covered Russell’s mouth with his palm, “Why are you up so early?” He asked him seriously, feeling like he was just beginning to really fall asleep. Russell reminded him of Kim in a way. No matter how much room there was on the bed, he practically laid on top of him. Billy had physically pushed him over on the bed more than once throughout the night, but he always shuffled right back to him. It was even worse when Pearl decided to join them, leaving him all too hot. Russell shrugged his shoulders as he glanced towards the clock. 

“You snore,” Russell pointed out, “And I want my room back.” He wrinkled his eyebrows together tightly, sounding like a spoiled child as he spoke. Billy rolled his eyes, already used to the way Russell had begun to moan and whine since Russell had been forced into this room. 

“I think Kim slept in there.” Billy mused, unsure of where Kim had actually slept. He felt guilty for not checking on her, but didn’t think it was safe with Susan being so furious and Rosemary being so upset. Not to mention Max. He was sure that her anger was on a whole different level. 

“Well why don’t you sleep there?” Russell pointed out, “Since she’s your girlfriend.” Russell giggled like it was funny, before he began to make kissy noises at Billy. Billy scoffed, rolling his eyes before he began to dig out a fresh outfit for the day.

“I don’t think that would make mom too happy.” He mumbled underneath his breath before he began to dress himself for the day. His mind felt static, like he’d slept for too long even though he’d spent the whole night tossing and turning. He rubbed at his eyes, wiping the sleep away from them.  

“She won’t kick you out though,” Russell reassured him, like that was the biggest of Billy’s worries, “I’ll talk to her. Maybe that will help.” He nodded his head, looking like he was determined to help. 

“Maybe,” Billy mused for Russell’s sake, but doubted that it would do any good, “You don’t seem upset about it.” He said a second later, a little surprised. He figured Russell would’ve freaked out similar to Rosemary or at least Max. 

“Dad said you guys aren’t actually related so it’s not like, bad?” Russell questioned, looking like he was unsure of his own words, “I like Kim and I like you. I think you’re good together.” He smiled brightly, looking like he was proud of his own words. Billy sighed deeply, realizing Russell had already been speaking to Sam about it. 

“Thanks,” Billy said softly, “What do you think about Susan?” He asked a second later, raising his eyebrows softly in amusement at the way Russell’s features wrinkled together in distaste. Billy felt a similar feeling brewing in his own chest. He didn’t like how Susan had spoken to Kim last night, how she seemed all too eager to place the blame on her. 

“She’s mean to dad,” Russell looked at him curiously, like he hoped that Billy might spill the beans on what Sam had done, “They’re kind of crazy. But Eddie seems cool. He likes Dungeons and Dragons.” He replied in excitement, his blue eyes shining like it was something exciting. 

“What’s that?” Billy asked, having a vague sense of familiarity like he’d already had it explained to him. He paused for a moment, suddenly sure that it had been explained to him before. He shook it away, doubting that it even mattered. 

“This awesome board game,” Russell exclaimed happily, “But mom said I’m too young to play it.” He pouted a second later, his shoulders sagging in disappointment. Billy rose from the bed, unsure of what would be so bad about a board game. 

“Huh.” Billy said as he walked over to the counter, beginning to spray himself down with his cologne. Russell lingered at the spot he was sitting on, looking like he was thinking of the right way to form the question that was lingering on his tongue. 

“Hey,” Russell drew out slowly, “What’s Steve like?” He asked a second later, holding onto Billy’s lighter as he discreetly rolled it between his fingers. Billy glanced over at him curiously, watching the way Russell’s foot was suddenly bouncing with urgency. 

“He’s an idiot.” Billy replied at last as he turned away, beginning to comb through his hair so it wouldn’t look so messy. He held out his hairspray, giving it a good shake before he twisted some of his hair into loose curls. 

“Why do you say that?” Russell asked again, bringing up the subject as he slowly peered his eyes over towards Billy. Billy faced him again, suddenly thinking of the way Kim used to bring up Steve when they first moved to Hawkins. Russell nearly had the same shy manner as he approached the subject. 

“Why do you care?” He asked as he set his hairspray back down, cocking an eyebrow at the way Russell’s blue eyes quickly widened and his cheeks flushed. Billy smirked, clearly understanding what Russell was going on about. He just couldn’t understand why it had to be Steve. 

“I don’t,” Russell protested, stammering in defense of himself, “I was just asking.” He spit out as he shook his head quickly, glancing away as he grumbled underneath his breath. Billy felt his lips curling up again, enjoying how pouty Russell grew when he picked on him. 

“Don’t start liking him,” Billy shook his head to stop Russell’s mind from wandering, “Kim already had a crush on him. Don’t make his ego even bigger than it already is.” Billy grumbled, suddenly irritated with Steve and his floppy hair. He wondered if that was why Tommy got so jealous too. 

“I didn’t say anything about that!” Russell protested, his voice shrill and his cheeks red as he hopped off of the bed. He looked panicked, as if Billy planned to use this against him forever. 

“Right,” Billy snorted as he bent over to pull his socks up high enough so they didn’t bunch against his skin, “I see it all over your face.” He teased again, laughing at the way Russell squeaked out a protest and swiftly exited the room. 

Billy took a minute, resting for just a second before he was sure he’d walk in on a shit show. He was fully prepared for Susan to jump on him first thing this morning, sure that she officially hated him this time. 

“Have you seen Kim?” Billy asked Addi, looking at her curiously as she peered at the pictures in the hallway with a small smile on her lips. He glanced at the one she was examining, one of Kim's middle school pictures. Her smile was shy, cheeks red and eyes nervous. He traced his eyes over her frame for a moment, noting how baggy the shirt was on her. Addi turned to face him; her dark eyes soft as her lips curled up into a gentle smile. 

“She went back to her room,” Addi said softly, “I’m really sorry for what happened yesterday. For the both of you. You shouldn’t have been exposed like that.” She apologized, looking like her words were sincere. He didn’t doubt that they were but figured it had more to do with feeling bad for Kim. 

“Yeah, well,” Billy shrugged his shoulders, “Thanks.” He said softly, meaning it as he turned away and headed back to her room. He chewed on his bottom lip, hoping that she hadn’t been too upset with him leaving her on her own last night. 

He entered slowly, feeling a little worried at the way she was curled up on the bed. She was buried under a pile of blankets, little Pearl curled up into a ball as Kim clung to her. He walked forward, gently positioning himself onto the bed. He pushed her hair out of her face before he wrapped his arms around her slender waist. 

“You alright?” He asked her softly, whispering in case she was trying to sleep. She wiggled back against him, like she wanted him to pull her closer. He did just that, letting his thumbs brush against her exposed skin.

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” She mumbled softly, tilting her head back so she could look at him clearly. He pursed his lips together, thinking that she looked a little paler than usual. He brought his lips against her cheekbone gently, hoping to bring some color back to her skin. 

“Yes,” He told her, “I know last night was rough, but things will get better.” He tried to reassure her softly as he pushed more loose strands of her hair from her skin. She sighed softly, the corners of her lips just barely curling into a smile. 

“We should’ve told her.” She whispered softly; her eyes filled with the usual sadness. He frowned softly, worried that he had been the one to make her sad this time. He was suddenly filled with guilt, knowing that she was correct. 

“We should’ve told her when we were ready,” He mumbled as he played with her hair softly, “I’m sorry it was taken away from us.” He admitted, feeling like he wasn’t ready for Rosemary to know about them yet. He shrugged his shoulders softly, feeling like it was over regardless. She could accept it or she could not. 

“I’m tired,” She mumbled softly, “I don’t want to go down there.” She sighed as she rolled over to hide her face in the crook of his neck. She groaned loudly a second later, shaking her head as she whined away. 

“Then we won’t,” He decided as he gently rubbed at her back, “We can stay here.” He grinned softly, feeling like he was more than okay with that. He thought that there had been too many people around yesterday. It was too stressful for him at the moment. 

“Your mom said we can’t be alone and -,” She started to ramble off, looking like she was frustrated with what she was about to explain. 

“I don’t care,” He dismissed her as he tucked his chin into her shoulder, “I want to be with you.” He sighed deeply, breathing in her fruity scent. He pressed his fingertips into her skin gently, pulling her even closer. He didn’t want to lose her.

“How are you feeling?” She asked him softly as she brushed her cheek against his own. He smiled as he pulled away, pressing his thumb against her lip gently. He pressed down, enjoying the pretty color against his thumb. 

“Fine,” He mumbled as he kissed her cheek softly, “A little irritated, but fine.” He admitted, feeling like he was more angry than upset. He didn’t think it was fair for how they’d been treated. She nodded as she rolled back on her pillows carefully, narrowly avoiding laying on top of Pearl.

“Do you hate my mom?” She asked a second later, looking at him curiously. He paused for a movement as he thought about her question. He really didn’t hate Susan. He felt bad for her in many senses, but he was upset with her right now. Kim didn’t deserve any of her anger. 

“No,” Billy answered slowly, “She’s just difficult.” He said at last, feeling like that best summed up their relationship right now. He wasn’t sure how they’d get past this, but he knew that they eventually would. It would just take time. At least he hoped so. 

“I do.” She answered at last, looking determined in her answer as she stared up at the ceiling. He sat up on his elbows, trying to get a closer look at her as he watched her swallow tightly. Her bottom lip trembled before she bit down on it harshly to keep it still. 

“No you don’t,” He mumbled as he tilted his chin to face her, “You’re just upset. So is she. It’s going to work out in the end.” He promised her, hoping that they would at least develop a better relationship. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers softly. 

“I can hate her if I want to.” She pouted softly as she pulled her lips away, her eyebrows knitting together tightly like she was determined to be consistent with her statement. He grinned softly, enjoying the clear way that she was trying to convince herself. 

“So hot headed,” Billy teased as he drew his fingers across her lips, “You better fix that attitude problem.” He grinned, watching the way she snorted in response. He pressed his thumb against her soft nose next, watching as she shook her head a second later. 

“Am I being dramatic?” She asked him seriously, turning to face him with a certain pout still etched on her lips. He chewed on his bottom lip, trying to fight the smile that was threatening to spill over onto his lips. 

“You’re upset,” Billy told her, “And maybe you’re just a little dramatic, but that’s okay too.” He promised her, feeling like she had a right to act and say whatever she wanted to. He just didn’t want her to end up making her relationship with Susan even worse than it already was. 

“Yeah,” She said softly, “And I bet if our parents weren’t married, they probably wouldn’t get along anyways.” She said a little brighter, like she was trying to spin the situation to be better in her own way.

“For sure,” He knitted his eyebrows together as he nodded his head, “Too many strong personalities.” He chuckled in response, thinking about the fist fight Susan and Rosemary had almost gotten in. He kept quiet, but already knew that his mother would be the one to win. 

“You can say that again.” She mumbled in agreement as she crossed her fingers together over her abdomen. She closed her eyes softly, lighting brushing her socks together as she thought to herself. He pressed his fingers over hers, enjoying her skin against his own. He didn’t say anything yet, but he had plans to burn that picture Rosemary had taken of Kim and Tommy. 

“Where did you sleep last night?” He asked her suddenly, looking over at her curiously. She opened her eyes slowly, looking over at him softly. 

“On the couch,” She mumbled underneath her breath, “Which is fine. I don’t think Max would let me in anyways.” She responded, looking like she was trying to be funny about it. No smile formed on her lips, nor did amusement fill her eyes or line up on her features. 

“She’ll come around,” He promised softly, thinking that it was true, “She can’t stay mad that long.” He told her earnestly. Kim blinked at him softly, shaking her head as she parted her lips slowly.

“You don’t know Max that well,” She responded softly, “She’s fiery.” She said a second later, shaking her head as she rubbed at her chin. She breathed out deeply, looking upset as she traced her eyes over Billy’s features. He frowned.

“Let’s go talk to her now,” He told her softly, although he knew that he wouldn’t actually speak to Max. He’d let Kim do all of the talking. He’d rather just sit there and be there to support Kim, although he wasn’t sure if Max would like that or not, “C’mon. We can explain it to her on our own.”

“Okay,” She spoke hesitantly, looking unsure as she slowly pulled herself up on the edge of the bed. He took in the pajamas she was still wearing, that she looked like she was trying to hide away. He bent over to kiss the tip of her nose, having a sense to wrap her up and keep her away from everybody, “I don’t think she’s going to want to talk.”

“We’ll make her talk,” He grinned softly, fully prepared to hold Max down if he had to, “It’ll be fine.” He said with a nod of his head. She looked up at him, pursing her lips softly as she shook her head to disagree with his statement. He breathed in slowly, determined to try and make things better.

She nodded her head in agreement this time, chewing on her bottom lip as she followed him to the door. A soft thump drew their attention away as he gripped the doorknob. He turned back, watching the way the fluffy cat stretched her paws out and bared her ferocious teeth as she yawned.

Pearl waddled next to Kim, rubbing her body against Kim’s ankle as Billy pulled the door open. He froze, locking eyes with the smaller redhead who was walking through the hallway. Max’s eyes widened before her features knitted up into anger, taking a large step forward to avoid them. 

“Max,” Kim begged as she followed behind Max, “Please just let me- Ow!” She exclaimed, quickly pulling her hand back as Max quickly slammed the door shut over her fingers. She whimpered, holding her hand to her chest as she bounced on the tips of her toes. 

“Shit,” Billy mumbled softly as he gently looked at her fingers, “It’s alright. Just a little sting.” He promised, knowing that the pain still hurt. She breathed in deeply, blinking her eyes roughly like she was trying to keep the tears from forming in the corner of her eyes. 

“She hates me,” Kim mumbled, her eyes flashing wide suddenly, “I messed up, I need to explain to her.” She sounded a little frantic. He shook his head as he touched her shoulders gently, truly knowing that it was not the best time to speak to Max at the moment. 

“Just leave her alone for a while,” Billy told her softly, “It’ll all work out, I promise.” He said softly, sure that they had fought about worse things before. He paused for a moment, unsure if that was really true or not. 

“No it won’t.” She said at last, wearing a defeated look in her eyes as she glanced up towards him. He sighed softly as he brushed his thumb against her cheek, not caring who saw anymore. They’d work on this together. It would all work out in the end, even if they lost people around the way. 

“It will,” He told her, “Come on. You probably didn’t sleep very good on the couch. You should try and nap.” He tried to convince her, knowing that she had been struggling to sleep anyways. He wished he had something that could help, but perhaps he could keep her mind distracted for long enough to let her drift off. 

She shuffled around with him, mumbling as she cradled her hand to her chest again. He guided her inside of her room, pulling the blankets back so she could crawl inside. She looked at him curiously, waiting until he slid into the bed next to her.

“Did you break your fingers?” He teased softly, bringing them up gently to his lips before he kissed her fingertips in the same manner that she’d done to him before. Her lips cracked into a soft grin, just barely. 

“What do you think, doctor?” She asked softly, her hazel eyes flashing as she admired him, “This is such a mess.” She breathed out deeply as he continued to press his lips against her skin. He smiled.

“Mhm, it is,” He agreed with her, knowing it was in a jumbled mess, “Don’t think about that right now. Just try and rest.” He mumbled as he rested his head next to hers on the pillow. She looked at him, like she was trying to decide what to say next.

“I’m happy I have you,” She told him truthfully as she linked their fingers together. He looked down at their hands, comparing how much smaller and nimble her fingers were in comparison to his, “It’s worth a fight.” She responded gently.

“Oh,” He smiled softly, “Is it a fight now?” He teased her, enjoying the way she giggled softly. He played with her hair with his free hand before he pulled her close again. She shuffled next to him, fitting against him like a puzzle piece.

“It always feels like a fight,” She said in agreement, “But I’m glad I have a big strong man like you to keep me safe.” She giggled playfully, smiling wide as she rolled against him. He chuckled, just lightly pressing his finger against her dimple that had appeared.

“Of course,” He smiled as he grazed his lips over hers, “I’ll always take care of you.” He told her truthfully, hoping that he knew how to do it. She pressed her lips against his skin softly, giving him a gentle kiss. 

“I’ll take care of you too,” She promised as she leaned against him, “I love you.” She told him sweetly, making his heart flutter from her sweet tone. He mumbled in agreement, hoping that things would get better after this.

Kim eventually fell asleep a while later, after keeping him updated on the gossip in Hawkins that she had heard from Addi. He nodded along with it, not quite fond of gossip but he listened for her sake. He enjoyed listening to her speak, to feeling like things were normal again. 

He gently pulled the blankets over her chest once he rose, feeling like his thoughts were still swirling too badly to be laying still for so long. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep either, so he let her slumber in peace. He figured he was in good hands, as Pearl came strutting in right as he began to leave.

He was honestly surprised that more people weren’t on their ass about being with each other. Perhaps they were still trying to pretend it wasn’t happening, or they just no longer cared to try and keep them apart. He hoped that was the case. He didn’t want any more drama. 

“Where’d Susan go?” Billy asked slowly, peeking his head around for any sign of her or Wayne. He no longer saw Addi or Eddie either. He wondered if they’d decided that it would be safer to stay at a hotel for the next few days. He thought it would be even better if they just decided to leave. 

“They went into town for lunch,” Sam mumbled as he busied himself in his sketchbook. His hand was moving fast, so harshly that Billy thought he might stab the pencil straight through the hard canvas cover, “I don’t think she trusts your mother’s cooking anymore.” He sighed, stopping only to adjust his glasses. Billy wondered if he needed a new prescription. 

“I don’t doubt that she would murder someone for you,” Billy mused softly, “How are you holding up?” He asked curiously, thinking about the low blows that Susan had fired off on him. He wrinkled his nose up a second later, thinking of what Rosemary had said in defense of it. He wondered how Neil would react to that.

“Went to a nice AA meeting this morning,” Sam replied softly as he continued to scribble in his book, “I’d say I’m lucky. I could’ve woken up in an alley somewhere.” He said at last, looking deep in his own thoughts. Billy wondered if that’s why he was doodling so harshly in his little book. 

“I bet Susan would’ve loved that.” He said truthfully, partially wondering if Susan had acted in such a way so Sam would relapse. He supposed it would be something she could hold over his head, that she was stronger than him. Then again, Billy was sure she had been on something. If she hadn’t been drinking, he almost thought she acted as if she was coming off of something. Knowing Eddie’s job, he figured it wasn’t that far of a stretch. 

“I guess sober living isn’t so bad when I know it pisses her off,” Sam smiled lightly as he looked up at him, “What are you doing?” He looked at him curiously, but Billy recognized a concerned look in his eyes. Sam still irritated him, but he supposed he couldn’t be too annoyed with him anymore. He seemed to be the only one that really supported his relationship with Kim. 

“I don’t know yet,” Billy admitted as he pushed his hair from the front of his face, “I guess I need to see how upset mom is.” He said wistfully, though he was slightly dreading it. She had sobbed to him for the longest time last night about everything she’d done wrong. It still felt raw, too much for him to deal with right now. 

“She’ll get over it,” Sam brushed him off, “Eventually. Good luck.” He said softly as he gave his shoulders a soft shrug. Billy paused for a moment as he nodded his head in agreement. He turned and left slowly, careful to keep from squishing Pearl as she waddled in with her head held high. She had recently developed a keen interest in collecting scrunchies and taking them to her food bowl. Billy thought that she was doing it on purpose, just because she knew it irritated Rosemary. 

He chewed on his bottom lip as he walked out of the room, having a sudden interest in wanting to know what Susan might be hiding. He didn’t think it was very mature of him to search through Susan’s stuff, but he had a sudden sense for revenge for how Kim had been treated. 

He stopped outside of Russell’s room, pausing for the longest moment before pushing the door open. He didn’t stop inside to visit Russell, he already knew that he wouldn’t be in here. He walked inside curiously, slowly drawing his eyes around the items in the room. 

He gently nudged his foot against one of the bags, just enough for the top to fall open. He supposed he should be more careful, considering he didn’t know what odd things Wayne and Susan could be into. He didn’t want to traumatize himself any worse.

He tilted his head, the corner of a baggy drawing his attention as he pressed his fingers against it and slowly wiggled it up from a pair of shoes. The items shifted around, falling in such a perfect way that left the baggy exposed to him. 

He stared for the longest time, desperately trying to pull himself away but being unable to do so as he slowly examined the baggy. It was in the perfect spot, almost too obvious like it had been purposely placed out. He knew it was too good to be true. Susan didn’t know about him being in jail, no one did.

He chewed on his bottom lip, his throat suddenly feeling dry as he stared at the familiar powder. Part of him felt cocky in being correct that Susan surely must’ve been coming down from something, the other part of him felt stupid. He was suddenly desperate, like he needed to feel something on his tongue and filling his veins. 

It was reckless, stupid even but he did it anyways. He placed the baggy into his pocket, knowing that there would just be enough for a line or two before he bustled out of the room. He ensured that no one else saw him before he gently shut the door.

He fully believed he’d get away with it, knowing that Susan would never fess up to something like drugs being stolen. He didn’t need to take it, he just wanted to. It would help soothe his nerves, make him less bitter about everything else that had happened. 

He mentally cursed himself as he entered the kitchen, briefly making eye contact with Rosemary before he turned away. He chewed on his bottom lip, realizing it was too late to disappear before he slowly went to grab a cup from the shelf. It was quiet as he popped the freezer open to pull free some ice cubes. 

“Do you want to talk?” Rosemary asked him as he filled up a glass of water, trying to focus on the amount of cubes that were in his glass and not what was burning in his pocket. He found himself licking his bottom lip, feeling the same craving that slowly began to fill his body. 

“What’s to talk about?” He huffed out as he brought the water towards his lips, trying to remind himself that there wasn’t anything wrong with having some fun. Especially after how yesterday had gone. He didn’t know if he could get through another night without having a little help somehow. 

“Billy,” Rosemary sighed deeply, “This isn’t okay and you know it.” She said desperately, still stuck on the subject of their relationship being immoral. He had listened to more than enough of her protests last night, but she didn’t understand. It wasn’t her fault either. He loved Kim. It was that simple. No one else would ever treat him the same way and he’d never feel this way for anyone else. She was it. 

“I really don’t care what anyone thinks is or isn’t okay,” He told her quickly, dismissing whatever she thought she was doing to be helpful, “I love Kim and I’m going to marry her.” He said as he shrugged his shoulders. He brought his cup back up to his lips. 

“You’re proposing?” Rosemary looked at him wide eyed, a little grief stricken like she had missed something important. He paused for a second, feeling like he had given himself away. He didn’t want anyone else to know in case they tried to spoil the surprise.

He already felt shitty over the whole ordeal. He hadn’t expected for Kim to have a meltdown over losing his ring. She hadn’t even lost it. He had gently slipped it off in the middle of the night, determined to turn it into something better for her. He hoped she’d laugh it off when she got the real thing. 

“One day,” He grumbled, mad that he gave himself away, “Nothing is going to come between us.” He replied instead, feeling as if that statement did more than enough to clear up any confusion. Rosemary inhaled deeply. 

“And if your relationship doesn’t work out?” She asked him seriously, as if he hadn’t thought about that before. He’d spent many nights wondering about that, especially when they first started to sleep together. He didn’t think anything bad would happen now, not unless she ended things first. 

“Do you think there’s someone better out there for her?” He asked Rosemary instead, turning the attention on her. He didn’t like feeling like he was being integrated, nor did he think it was any of her business. 

“What?” She breathed out in surprise, her blue eyes wide as she took a step back. She rested against the counter, her dark eyebrows furrowing together as she tried to make sense of his question. 

“I don’t think your issue is fucking morals,” He snapped back, “Someone must be better for Kim. That’s what you’re thinking.” He felt a fresh wave of anger filling his chest. He didn’t think it was fair to take it all out on Rosemary, but she was the one that was still pressing the issue.

“No, oh my God it has nothing to do with that,” She defended herself quickly, “I would never suggest such a thing. You’re both very sweet and very good people.” She spit out, looking horrified that he would suggest such a thing. Billy flicked his tongue across his teeth, cocking his eyebrows softly. 

“We make each other better,” He said at last, “There’s nothing you could say that would make me not want to be with her. I love her.” He said simply, feeling like he was repeating the same statement from last night. Rosemary stared at him, teetering on his words. 

“I can’t just accept this.” She whispered out softly, her features wrinkled into guilt as she watched him cautiously. Her blue eyes were filled with sadness, like she really was placing the blame on herself. He almost preferred the way Neil had handled finding out about the two of them. It was easier to be screamed at and blamed, rather than to have someone blame themselves. 

“I’m not asking you to,” Billy stated softer this time, “I could care less if you do or not. Just don’t hurt Kim. She doesn’t deserve it.” He told her seriously, feeling like Kim had gone through too much lately. He wondered if she’d be able to handle it alright, or if he’d have to help her adjust in some way. 

“I wouldn’t do that to Kim,” Rosemary defended herself quickly, “I just don’t want either of you two to get hurt when all of this is over with.” She said softly, sending him a worried look again. He shook his head, understanding that she just didn’t get it yet.

“Nothing bad is going to happen.” He told her, knowing that deep down it was true. He’d do whatever he could to keep the two of them together. 

Russell was downstairs playing on his game system by the time Billy returned to his room. He paced for the longest time, knowing that it wasn’t too late to put the drugs back where he’d found them. He wasn’t really a thief, but he didn’t think that Susan needed to be doing drugs either. No wonder she had been acting that way.

He supposed he could flush them, but he couldn’t even bring himself to do that. His hands twitched in anticipation as he thought over his options. He knew he should do the safe thing, he should just forget that he had ever seen it.

“Fuck it.” He mumbled to himself, his hands shaking as he pulled the baggy free. He trembled as he set up two neat, even lines. He stared at it for the longest time, his mouth watering before he made his final decision. 

/////////////////

“I don’t like them sleeping in my room,” Russell admitted, whispering as he sat next to Billy with narrowed eyes. He was sitting on his knees, his fingers moving a mile a minute as he stared forward at Wayne and Susan, “I’m going to need to wash everything.”

“Or burn it.” Billy offered, feeling like he’d grown used to having Russell as a shadow. Kim, as far as Billy knew, had slept the rest of the afternoon. She hadn’t come down for dinner, despite Sam trying to get her up. He hadn’t seen Susan stop to speak to her either and hoped it was out of shame. 

He didn’t admit to it, but he was more concerned on whichever room Addi and Eddie would be sleeping in. From what Kim had mentioned offhandedly, they didn’t seem like angels. He was thanking God they weren’t in his room. 

Max was avoiding him too, only sending him glares whenever they’d pass by one another. He’d flip her off in the same manner, irritated at the way she was treating Kim. He knew that she was young, but he also thought she needed to grow up. None of this was Kim’s fault. She deserved to be happy. 

“Do you think Santa would bring me a new mattress?” He asked softly, looking deep in thought as he continued to stare at the other couple. Billy thought that Wayne was nice, mostly because he was quiet and reserved. He didn’t know how Wayne put up with Susan’s attitude though. 

“You still believe in Santa?” He turned towards Russell, his eyebrows knitting together as he looked at him curiously. Russell paused for a moment, his cheek flushing as he parted his lips and looked at Billy in disbelief. 

“He’s fake?” Russell asked, looking a little crestfallen as he spoke like a small child. Billy blanched for a second, not at all surprised that Rosemary would keep the stories of Santa going for so long. Neil had been the one to tell him otherwise.

In the corner of his eye, he peeped a white ball of fluff swaying towards him. Pearl meowed loudly, gaining everyone’s attention as she strutted forward a little faster. Eddie reached around, trying to give her a pet before she waddled her little paws faster and jumped up on Billy’s lap.

He sighed deeply, holding a palm out as she slowly turned herself in a circle a few times before she made herself comfortable on his lap. She shut her eyes, holding her paws out as she slowly began to massage her pink beans against his thigh. He shook his head as he turned his attention back to Russell, letting Pearl do her work. She had sat on the edge of the tub while he showered that night, just staring at the way the water fell from the faucet. He had sort of hoped she’d fall in, just to see if she liked the water or not. 

“How old are you again?” Billy asked him seriously, unsure of how he was old enough to know he liked boys but still young enough to believe in Santa. Russell looked at him a little defeated, making Billy feel bad before he spoke up again, “I’m sure he could make room for a mattress in his sled.”

“Cool,” Russell said as he grinned from ear to ear, “What if I don’t get a skateboard then?” He asked in dismay, looking a little upset as he thought about which gift he wanted more. 

“I think a skateboard is too dangerous for you anyways,” He mumbled, turning his attention down to Pearl who was beginning to purr loudly as he tapped his fingers against her spine, “Maybe it’s a sign.”

“Whose motorcycle is that?” Susan asked curiously as she looked out the window, her eyes heading straight towards Sam in accusation. Sam ignored her, moving his hand from Rosemary’s thigh to flip over to the next page in his book before he returned it. Billy partially wondered if he was keeping a hold of her so she wouldn’t lash out again.

“It’s Billy’s,” Russell answered happily as he turned to look at her, “He took us for a spin a few times. It’s really fun.” He enthused as he bounced on the couch cushions. Billy pushed him lightly, just enough to make him stop so Pearl wouldn’t roll off of his lap. 

“How did you afford that?” Susan asked, her nose sticking up as she looked at him in confusion. He cleared his throat, rolling his hands through Pearl’s soft fur as he lowered himself lower in the couch cushions. He rolled his tongue around in his mouth, imagining how everyone would freak out if they knew the truth. 

“He makes his own money,” Rosemary responded stiffly, “He can spend it how he likes.” She said crossly, looking up from her knitting before glancing back down. Billy was sure that he saw her lips moving, grumbling something underneath her breath before she returned to working. 

“Of course,” Susan answered just as stiffly, “It was just a question.” She said in defense of herself, shaking her head before she turned away. Sam patted Rosemary’s knee gently before returning to his book again. 

“It’s awesome,” Eddie answered with a warm smile, looking intrigued as he stared at Billy, “Are you giving out any more rides?” He asked a second later, looking hopeful as he watched Billy’s reaction. Billy snorted, unable to help the image that formed in his mind of Eddie sitting on the seat behind him as he took them up and down the block.

“You can try it tomorrow,” He grumbled, unsure if it was dumb or not to let Eddie on there on his own. Not that it really mattered if it got destroyed or not. Every time he looked at it he was only filled with guilt over what had happened. He felt stupid, because he knew it would eventually come back to haunt him. He’d offer it to Eddie, if only he could pay him back. 

“Bitchin’,” Eddie grinned as he looked towards Addi, raising his eyebrows to confirm that she had heard what Billy had said. She nodded her head softly, looking like she was about to warn him about something, “Yeah, I’ll go slowly.” He said quickly, like he already knew what she was going to say. 

Billy suddenly felt a little sick, wondering what Kim was doing all alone. He didn’t like that she was hiding away, but he understood why. She was clearly embarrassed over everything that had happened, but he thought she was more upset over how Susan had acted. Perhaps she thought that Susan would continue to act the same way. 

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Billy mumbled, knowing that he had taken too much to even think about sleeping tonight, “Take her.” He mumbled as he popped Pearl onto Russell’s lap. She yelped in protest, whining before she eventually found a comfortable spot on Russell’s skin.

He walked around the back of the couch, careful to avoid anyone who might ask questions as he crept down the hallway. He knew that he’d get grief from Rosemary and Susan if they knew where he was going. 

He glanced down the hallway, ensuring that no one was watching as he slowly pushed her door open. He frowned, greeted with darkness as he slipped inside. He shut the door behind him before he slowly turned on the light, wincing at the way she was hidden underneath piles and piles of blankets.

“You can come out,” He mumbled softly, “No one’s mad. It’s not that bad out there.” He tried to reassure her, but he really didn’t understand which issue was making her the most upset. Perhaps she just didn’t want to bother Max at the moment. 

He sat at the edge of the bed, gently pulling back blanket after blanket to reach her. Her sniffles grew louder the further he exposed her to him. He gulped harshly, feeling guilty for everything that had happened. He didn’t want her to be so upset. 

“Billy,” Kim was crying for the third time that week, her eyes so sad and broken that he couldn’t bear it, “She’s leaving.” She sobbed as she took in a deep breath, looking more upset than he’d seen her in a long time. He pulled her to his chest softly, trying to hush her as he kissed the top of her head.

“Susan is?” He asked her softly, wondering if she was upset that things would be bad between the two of them again. He hoped that Susan could at least be enough of an adult to apologize to what she’d said to Kim. He doubted it. 

“No,” She hiccuped hard, “Max. She’s leaving with mom.” She blubbered out, her hands shaking as she wiped at her eyes. Billy looked at her in confusion, surprised by her statement. He thought about it for a moment, but then thought that it made sense. All of Max’s friends were back in Hawkins. She’d built a life there, something that he and Kim hadn’t really managed to do. Susan seemed to be happy with Wayne. 

“Maybe it’ll be a good thing,” Billy said softly, “Hey, hey. I don’t mean it in a bad way. She needs space to process this and you do too. It’s okay.” He tried to reassure her as he squeezed at her hands, rubbing their skin together softly. He wasn’t sure how Kim could handle being apart from Max, but perhaps it would leave them with some space to grow. Kim had spent her whole life caring for Max, she deserved a break.

“She can’t be that far away,” Kim spit out as she wiped at her eyes again, her cheeks red and slightly swollen, “What if something happens?” She asked him seriously, looking a little terrified at the idea. He breathed in deeply, deciding that she needed to know what he really thought. 

“Susan is her mom, not you,” He told her, sounding a little more firm than what he meant to, “It’s time for Susan to act like it. Max knows where you are at if she needs you. You deserve to be a kid.” He told her truthfully. He didn’t think that Max was being fair either, and he had every intention of telling her that. She treated Kim like a mom and she wasn’t. She was barely eighteen. It wasn’t her job to discuss her possible parentage with Max. 

“I’m going to miss her.” Kim responded a second later, looking pitiful as he rubbed his thumbs across her cheeks. He sighed deeply as he rested his forehead against hers, wishing there was an easier way to make her believe his words. 

“I know,” He admitted, thinking that it would be hard for the two of them to be apart, “It’ll work out in the end. It always does.” He said softly, hoping that he was right this time around. 

[hungrydolphin91]

@magicmetslogic well since you asked so nicely ^^ I have to warn you though, it's mostly just a messy outline:

Tales of Vesperia and Evasive Language:

A while back I was feeling nostalgic and started watching an old stream archive of Vesperia Definitive Edition from back when that came out out, and I noticed how the three guys playing it for the first time didn’t always understand what was happening in a scene until halfway through it because the characters were speaking evasively. The more I noticed it, the more I realized just how often Vesperia in particular uses this type of language to add drama and depth to the story and characters, and even support the game’s themes of justice in regards to compliance versus disobedience. Specifically, that evasive language is used in this game to get around laws, for better or for worse, and even by characters that are otherwise lawful (looking at you, Flynn).

I’m not talking about lying or deceptive language, but more of a roundabout, masked language. The characters in this game tell half-truths or speak about a subject without ever saying directly what they mean, but leave enough context for the others to figure it out. Sometimes the "others" refers to other characters, but it can also mean only the audience, creating drama and foreshadowing. For example, lines like Yuri’s ominous “He will get what he deserves” in Capua Torim after Cumore escapes or Judith promise “I will uphold the guild’s laws. But in my own way,” are not lies, but they’re certainly dodging the character’s true intentions– imagine if they had just said “I’m going to murder that guy” or “My reasons for destroying blastia are actually good, but society isn’t ready for that conversation yet.” These examples, though, are more like writing tools meant to be understood by only the audience to keep them curious rather than covertly communicating with another character. Most of the evasive language is used in a less meta context.

The characters most notable for using this language are Yuri and Judith as mentioned before, but also Flynn, Rita, and Raven. Conversations between these characters often require a lot of reading between the lines, like Yuri and Flynn’s early arguments and Yuri and Judith’s one-on-one nighttime chats. The game even seems to encourage the player to look closely at their lines by calling out their evasive personalities, like Estelle saying several times that “Yuri isn’t very good at expressing his feelings” or Judith claiming she’s “not very good at lying” when they actually are, just in a more coded way.

Sometimes they speak this way to protect a secret, like Judith’s reasons for destroying blastia

Judith doesn’t REALLY lie, she just dodges targeted subjects. In a way she’s even more suspicious than Raven, but I think maybe her charisma helps keep the party (minus Yuri, who knows her background) from suspecting her to be up to something

Other times they talk like this to conceal their own feelings, like Yuri, Rita, and sometimes Flynn. Eg. Yuri’s “Catch up to him? Easy for him to say” or Rita’s tsundere-isms to hide that she just wants to travel more/be with Estelle

And of course there’s Raven, hiding his assigned agenda with evasive language but usually doing such a poor job of it that every party member finds him suspicious as hell. Once he’s actually in the party he straight up lies convincingly rather than beating around the bush

(Though part of his successful deception may rely on him being SO suspicious that he couldn't ACTUALLY be as sus as he seems 😅)

But the most prominent example of evasive language being used to advance the themes of the story is the frequent fluctuation between following the letter of the law vs the spirit of the law, used as both constraints and loopholes, by parties under both the Empire and the Guilds. (Eg. Flynn's 'If I don't return you'll have to take my place' vs. Karol's 'everyone in the guild should be punished because technically we're all kinda responsible' etc.)

The streamers and I both were relishing that scene in Capua Nor where Yuri’s party agrees to break the law and sneak into Ragou’s manor in order to give Flynn’s unit the authority to enter under emergency protocol because all of this is established in evasive language-- no one is admitting to the plan verbally but it's established anyway via loopholes and coincidences. It’s definitely illegal by Imperial law, the Knights shouldn’t be collaborating with a known criminal in order to achieve their ends, but since their enemy (also under the Empire) has twisted the laws to suit him perfectly, they all have to bend the rules a little to enforce justice. This ties in marvelously with the themes of the game, that sometimes in order to stop corruption you have to resort to some underhanded methods yourself, yet also exemplifies how this corruption happens in the first place, with Ragou only being able to run his wicked schemes because he has the authority to go above the law.

The guilds actually operate under the same principles as the Empire, maybe even more so. A guild’s laws are its pride, as karol says, and this is shown to be true with how the Don was executed because “eye for an eye” is ingrained in guild law. But shortly after Brave Vesperia is formed, they’re already looking for loopholes to do things like take on more than one job. The scene at the Atherum employs more of that evasive language, this time with Rita deciding to deliver the clear ciel crystal for Estelle’s sake since the guild can’t take another job. 

It’s just interesting to me how quickly they’ve all started finding loopholes to their own rules even though creating their own guild outside of the Empire's laws was so important to them. What they’re doing isn’t wrong or underhanded, but it is illegal, and thus they resort to hypothetical suggestions and coincidences.

[ddarker-dreams]

I was rereading your sr stuff(god I love sr reader's energy, it's so fun!) and I was wondering how scarlet ribbon's (reader's stand) first met giorno. Did he notice someone touching his hair only to turn around and see a random stand trying to put a bow on him? The amount of explaining sr reader would have to do. Speaking of, how did scarlet ribbon's first interaction go with the bucci gang?

i start frothing at the mouth when give the opportunity to talk about SR reader's stand . they have a special relationship that i've finally started to explore more in the main route which i have yet to publish. this goes on to influence how scarlet ribbons interacts with the others.

you're both kinda like sisters. she fusses over you, insists on doing your hair every morning, and helps out with chores. there's nothing like having a specter-like entity doing the dishes . she's somewhat haughty and temperamental, floating off to sulk because she made you an outfit like this and you refused to wear it in public. she is capable of talking, but figures you do enough chatting for the both of you, so she prefers to communicate in roundabout ways. she especially likes giving thumbs up/thumbs down.

the first time giorno would see scarlet ribbons would be during the events on the train, before prosciutto and pesci's attack. you had dozed off while chatting to trish. while you're out like a light, scarlet ribbons manifests to entertain herself. she makes a swing out of ribbons, patting the spot next to her for giorno to sit. he'd understandably be like ??? so it's up to bruno to explain.

"that's [first]'s stand. as you can see, she's quite curious, but never means any harm. she also has a tendency to— ah."

and that's when SR forms a little ribbon to tie together the end of giorno's braid. he's honestly just relieved that it isn't another purple haze situation. he'd quickly win over your stand by not swatting her away and leaving the unexpected hair accessory untouched. while he's being amiable, he starts thinking over the tactical advantages an ability like yours could have. being able to stop bleeding, constricting opponents in place... it seems it could adapt well to any situation.

as for her introduction to the other bucci gang members, i have a Specific vision for bruno and fugo . still need to figure out the others, however.

bruno brought you to his home after you passed polpo's test. the energy it took to manifest your stand for the first time knocked you unconscious, so bruno thought it best to bring you someplace safe. SR is standing (floating?) at the ready to protect you, bristling like a cat. you're groggily coming to while bruno tries to talk her down from doing anything drastic. once you're fully awake, she hovers over you, whispering offers to wrap you up in a safe ribbon cocoon of sorts. you decline but appreciate the enthusiasm. bruno goes on to be SR's favorite so he doesn't mind the open hostility she showed him at first.

fugo's first time meeting SR is extremely anticlimactic. you had recently just moved in, and he's grumbling to himself, wondering why he has to deal with this in the first place. you're going to be short on rent the first month but you solemnly swore to make up for it. he wakes up the next morning to find the apartment squeaky clean with homemade breakfast in the making. your stand is flipping pancakes while you work away on dusting his bookshelf. fugo points at SR, words temporarily forsaking him. she tilts her head. fugo demands to know why what he assumes to be your stand is just. out and about. he says you're supposed to hide your abilities and yadda yadda yadda. you shrug and tell him she likes to hang around. you continue to perplex him in every conceivable way.

... he finds you terribly interesting though.

[cozfics]

Pspspspspsps hey you

Imagine Wild from LU with a s/o tags just stupidly cold like all the time.

Now- imagine the group happen to be travelling through a snowy area, and s/o is low-key seconds away from passing out, despite being a cocoon of jackets and scarves.

AND NOW- imagine group is attacked, s/o is pushed down a snowy hill and lose some of their jackets and blankets in the fall.

They hit their head and are unconscious, but the snow is still falling so they're slowly being burried.

Cue panicked Wild.

Where are they?

Is that them!

No, just their coat.

Fuck, their coat. Theyre cold.

Cue more panic as he searches the snow for s/o.

He eventually finds them half covered in snow, shivering and pale, lips blue.

Cue: devastation.

Wild is FREAKING OUT! He needs to figure out how to warm them up while also finding the group.

What will he do?

Will s/o survive?

Find out next time...

Whenever you decide you want to take on this request and interpret it how you like. You choose the ending!!!

...

This is my roundabout way of asking for a request with this scenario, please and thank you<3

- pspsps anon

Chilly Tumbles (Wild x Reader)

Word count:2.2k

Pairing:Wild x reader

CW: Heights, hitting head, blood, mentions of others going without

Notes:Sorry about the long wait, hope it's worth it I really tried hard to make it good. I was really excited about this one too, sat down and wrote it all in one sitting, which is big for me!

The cold can kiss your ass. Honestly, you felt that way most days while you bundled up in layers of clothes most people called excessive, but never have you felt the sentiment of fuck the cold than you did right now as you hiked your way up Hebra mountains alongside the boys. And quite honestly? You felt awkward next to them. Here you were bundled in a sweater, and snowquill trousers you had borrowed from Wild, (Which really meant he had thrust them into your arms, and when you had tried to reject them so he didn’t freeze his ass off he had cut you off with “They’re a spare pair.” and walking away before you could argue any longer.) A scarf, winter hat, A winter jacket from home, and gloves alongside the cold resistence elixir. (How were you still so cold?) Meanwhile, the boys were dividing their resources amongst themselves. 

The only one who was remotely close to being as bundled up as you was the sailor, and while the young hero would normally be arguing against being favored over the others he was pretty quiet. He was wrapped in the spare snowquill coat with War’s scarf wrapped around his neck. You had lent him a pair of earmuffs, which he did actually try to argue about but he stopped after you explained it wasn’t about his age. It was because he grew up in a tropical environment. And besides his ear tips were red enough to rival Legend’s tunic. He needed them.

The rest of the boys had downed elixirs and meals and divided gear amongst themselves. Legend had a ring to keep him warm. Hyrule was bundled in the warm doublet. Apparently Wild had been working on grabbing extra clothes every time he popped in his world to help in situations like this.

You were currently bringing up the rear of the group, Only Hyrule and Four lagged behind you. It had just recently started to snow, as well. You wondered if Hylia was above you, laughing as the conditions around you reached whiteout levels. The cold bit at you through your layers. You realized you couldn’t see any of the others anymore. Before you could open your mouth a voice cut through the wind.

“We need to stick close. It’s getting bad out here. Wild is there anywhere we can take shelter until the blizzard blows over?” Time questioned, taking charge. You took his speaking as an opportunity to catch up to the bulk of the group. It seems Four and Hyrule had the same idea so now at least you were all together.

Wild had pulled out his sheikah slate, tapping away. “Nowhere we’d get to before the storm blows over, or without severely backtracking.” He responded after a minute. Time stood, obviously mulling over the choices he had.

“I will say, if we backtrack and come get these monsters another time, there’s still a chance this will happen again.”Wild put his slate back on his belt.

“And we’ve used a lot of resources to get this far..” Warriors remarked. That seemed to be enough for Time to give in and sigh.

“We’ll keep heading towards the peak then. Everyone stick close. Captain stick towards the back and make sure no one falls behind.”

With the decision to continue having been made, You pressed on. You hunched over, trying to stay as warm as possible. You were starting to vibrate with shivers as the temperature just kept dropping. How could the others be so…. Unbothered by this? It baffled you. It seemed like you would have quite some time to let your mind dwell on the question. You guys still had about a day's journey left to get to the supposed group of black-blooded monsters.

Within about an hour the wind had picked up loud enough that you couldn’t hear the crunching of snow. Or the cry of a startled Warriors as he was attacked. The cold and wind however didn’t keep you from feeling an impact to your side. You were caught unaware, launched in a direction. You managed to land on your feet, but there was something else the snow would hide from you it seemed. Where the ground was stable. Your foot slipped and the rocks under your good foot gave out. You would say you were approaching the ground at a rapid rate but quite honestly you had no idea as you tumbled down the side of the cliff. Pain erupted in your right shoulder as you slammed against a rock jutting out from the side of the mountain. You were relieved for a moment when you felt your fall slow, only to just barely have enough time to realize your jacket got caught on another rock. The rock ripped your jacket, leaving you to tumble out of it.

As if that wasn’t enough pain blossomed from your head as you hit it against the mountain. Then nothing.

The silver lynel had blended in with the blizzard. The boys hadn’t seen it till it was right on top of them. The really bizarre part was it was horridly out of its territory. Or at least that’s what Wild kept trying to insist to his teammates between dodging hits. Wind and Hyrule had sustained injuries leaving them out of commission for the fight already. Wild was trying to get enough distance to release some arrows into the damn thing's head. The only issue was that if he got far enough away that the attack would be effective, he wouldn’t be able to see the lynel.

Wild rolled to the side as the lynel took aim toward the skies to shoot arrows into the sky. Legend had (Dangerously And stupidly) Taken this chance to get close and slash the hoof of the beast. Wild bit back an annoyed groan as black oozed out. Well, that explains the abnormal behavior at least. The creature charged, slashing his sword at Wild, but his footing slipped. Wars, Legend, Wild, and Time all spotted the opportunity to attack the lynel, slashing at his back, his chest, and his hooves. Sky stabbed the monster's side and it let out a furious roar, rearing up as the boys scattered again. Wild didn’t like this. Thanks to the blizzard he couldn’t make out his brothers while they fought. One of them could be injured and no one would know. They would just have to hope that one of the others ran by them during the fight. That's how he found out about Wind and Hyrule.

Thinking on that when was the last time he saw Four… or you for that matter? He didn’t have much time to think about that as the lynel breathed fire his way and he had to quickly leap out of range. Yes! That’s the kind of opening he was waiting for! He took a running start and pulled out his paraglider to boost himself up into the air. With his newfound distance, he pulled out a bow and notched an arrow as he took aim. He released the string to fire the arrow right in the lynels head. The beast whipped its head and let out a pained roar, stumbling. Wild watched as his brothers seized the opportunity and ran in to beat the creature up a little more. Well, that answered where Four was. Wild hoped you were just tending to the injured.

Wild watched as the creature swung at Sky, sending him flying. Damn it! He was starting to get desperate. He watched the Lynel stumble from its leg injuries. Wild, who to be fair is known for being reckless, raced for the opening, launching himself on the lynels back. He mounted the lynel, slashing at it repeatedly. His brothers moved in again, using the distraction to their advantage. This time the beast crumpled. It stopped moving, finally dead.

“What in the goddesses' names were you thinking Wild! Do you know how dangerous that was! You could have died!”Twi was marching over.

“I knew what I was doing. I’ve done it tons of times before” Wild remarked.

“Not on a black-blooded Lynel”

“It’s my Hyrule. I knew how to handle it. The fight couldn’t drag on any longer, our elixirs will be wearing off soon.” Wild insisted. Twi seemed like he wanted to continue but Time interrupted. 

“It’s already done now. No point in fighting over it. We have injuries to attend to and potions to be handed out.”

Wild nodded. The snow was finally starting to let up. One thing that he noticed incredibly quickly was that you were nowhere to be seen. He started off walking around calling for you, but when he got no response it turned to frenzied running. Still nothing. He ran over to the others. Wild told them he was going to look for you and tossed some cold resistance elixirs their way before leaving to look for you. He didn’t give them a chance to object to his ideas, which they absolutely would have.

It didn’t take long for his search to lead him to the edge of a cliff. Oh no… He could see exactly where you slipped off. He started climbing down. Okay, okay this is fine. He’ll find you. You… you probably just found a cave to stay in.., Yeah! Wild finished climbing down the wall and started wading in the waist-high snow, calling for you. It was honestly really freaking him out that he couldn’t see ANY trace of you in the snow. He kept on walking.

A sudden thought hit Wild. Oh no... Your cold resistance elixir had to have worn off by now. You were probably freezing. He had to find you, and now! Wild perked up when he saw a flash of color in the distance. Ah! There you were! He began to race over, sloshing through the snow and nearly tripping over his own two feet in the process. After reaching his goal (And only face-planting in the snow a single time mind you!) He was all ready to celebrate and wrap you in a hug…. Except... It wasn’t you. It was just your damn coat… Your damn ruined and ripped coat. That you had to be freezing without. Aw for fucks sake! Why can’t things ever go to plan? Or well, Wild isn’t exactly known to plan. Ugh, why can’t things ever go to impulse! Okay, this is fine. Just a person lost on a snowy mountaintop, freezing to death. No pressure here Wild. He took in a deep breath and continued his search, not like there was much else he could do.

Wild kept himself busy scanning over the snow for any signs of you. It was the only thing keeping him from breaking something in frustration. Ah! There! He rushed over when he saw it. A place where something had obviously disturbed the snow. Even the blizzard couldn’t hide it. He made it over and started desperately digging, flinging the snow behind him like a dog digging a hole. The man seemed feral in his desperation. There you are! Lips blue and no longer shivering. But the good news is you were still breathing. Wild let out a sigh of relief. He began to check you over and he quickly noticed, that your head was bleeding. The snow around your head had turned red. There was no way he could take you up to the others, and he had no way to wake you up at the moment later. 

Honestly, both were problems he could face later, right now Wild had to find a way to warm you up so you even could wake up. Thankfully he had explored many nooks and crannies in his time here. There was a tiny cave nearby, nowhere near big enough to hold ten people, but it could easily house two people and a fire. He began to carry you that way.

Once you arrived in the cave Wild set you down and began to work on his fire. He kept you a decent distance from it. Warming you up too fast would threaten to put you into shock, and he knew you were deep into the stages of hypothermia. You’d be lucky if you lost nothing to frostbite quite honestly. The next thing he got started on was removing your wet layers to keep you from getting too cold. Of course, letting you warm up would have been easy, and nothing in any Link’s life was ever easy. So while he was trying to help you warm up, the world seemed to rumble.

Wild drew his sword, ready to fight whatever was stupid enough to try to attack him. As he got ready to leave the cave the world grew dark. You were snowed in. There had been an avalanche, and you were nearly dying from hypothermia. And no one knew where you or Wild were…. He sat down with his head in his hand to ponder the situation for a few moments, before moving to lay next to you, pulling you close to his chest to try to warm you up.  In this moment the only thing Wild could think of was how glad he was that there was a hole in the ceiling of the cave so he didn’t have to put out the fire. 

[duckapus]

So, not sure how many of you remember this, but I've come up with some ideas for it.

First off, when Candace first wakes up in the Mystery Dungeon universe she's deep inside one of the most dangerous dungeons in the area, because of course she is. She nearly gets eaten by a Druddigon, but gets saved by a Mismagius, Kilowattrel and Klefki (not that she knows what any of those are). They escort her out of the dungeon and into the nearest town, Sunrise Cove, which also happens to be where the local Explorer's Guild is located. She's given permission to stay at the Guild headquarters while she's getting her bearings in this new world, and she obviously ends up joining officially because otherwise we don't have a story. Speaking of which, I actually don't have a proper story yet but I do have some characters.

So the Guild is called the Whirlpool Guild, and its Guildmaster is an elderly Empoleon named Lester. He's basically a big jolly grandpa kind of guy who doesn't take himself too seriously, but it's clear from his scars and the way he carries himself that he earned his position, and could probably still hold his own if he ever had to.

The Rescue Team that saved Candace are Team Mystic, consisting of Astrid the Mismagius, Bullet the Kilowattrel and Jangles the Klefki.

Astrid is Lester's second in command, and is very stoic and businesslike in contrast to her boss's more playful attitude. But serious doesn't have to mean unkind, and she's got a bit of a reputation as the honorary Guild Mom.

Bullet's the Head Training Instructor for new recruits, so if this were an actual game you'd be seeing a lot of him during the tutorial section. He's extremely loyal to those who've truly earned his respect, especially his teammates and the Guildmaster.

And then there's Jangles, the Keeper of the Keys, who's basically in charge of the Guild's security. They take their job very seriously. Also, they have a not-so-secret crush on Astrid, because I thought it would be cute.

On to Team Buster, Candace and Lena act pretty much how you'd expect based on their source material and the fact that they both have amnesia, while Nugget is both their excitable little brother figure and their guide to the new world they've ended up in, particularly what exactly Pokemon even are.

Team Buster has rivals in the form of Team Venoshock, consisting of Sting the Hisuian Sneasel, Harvey the Grafaiai, and Sprout the Oddish.

Sting initially seems like your classic bully towards Candace, but it quickly becomes apparent that not only is she not really antagonizing Candace in any substantial way, but she's actually looking out for her in a sort of roundabout fashion. She's also convinced that Guildmaster Lester is hiding something and thus doesn't fully trust him or Team Mystic.

Harvey on the other hand is pretty much exactly what he seems like; an easily offended hothead who isn't too bright and prefers to follow Sting's lead. He and Lena butt heads a lot.

Then there's Sprout. He's... well, he's kind of a scaredy-cat and doesn't have much self-confidence. He actually only joined the Guild because Sting and Harvey saved his life on their first mission and he wanted to pay then back for it. Still, the fact that he's still around and actually doing a decent job says a lot.

Now for some of the residents of Sunrise Cove.

Usually in the town square you'll find a lute-playing Pikachu named Ben. He's always got a new song to play or story to tell. He also knows a lot more about the lore surrounding the main plot than a random musician probably should.

Then there's Rusty, the best postman in the world, who is definitely an ordinary Delibird and not a poorly disguised Iron Bundle, honest!

The bank is run by Silver the Gholdengo. In his defense he was named that before he evolved and didn't feel comfortable changing it to something more fitting.

A Sawk and Throh named Stan and Lee run a dojo where they teach Moves that you can't learn just by leveling up. No one's sure exactly what their relationship is, and as is typical in small towns there is much speculation.

The Kecleon shops in dungeons are still thriving as usual, but around these parts they answer to Viola the Tsareena, who runs the general store in town. Considering what Kecleon are like in the PMD universe, one can only imagine how strong she must be to have that kind of power over so many of them.

Over by the docks is Cap'n Salty the Perrserker, an old sailor who takes Rescue Teams of sufficient rank out to any dungeons you can't reach by land.

And also by the docks is the Crashing Wake, a diner run by Meloetta of all Pokemon. Nobody's entirely sure what's up with that, but she serves the best food in town so they're not about to complain.

Also of note are two regulars at the Crashing Wake, a Dewott named Macy who's clearly infatuated with Meloetta but doesn't have the courage to actually make a move (can you say Long-term Sidequest?), and a Whimsicott named Nimbus who may or may not be a notorious pirate captain.

[friendlyfaded]

Thoughts on veglasko?? Would luv to know ur opinions on it!!

I think about this a lot. Like, a lot. I feel like that's not surprising, though, considering I've made it Abundantly Clear that I'm both a major Vega simp and a huge Lasko kinnie. So this has been in my brain for a while lol.

To address the elephant in the room here, in canon, there's no way this would ever work. I'm well aware of that. Freelancer and Gavin both loathe Vega, and Lasko loves both of them too much (platonically or romantically, take your pick) to associate with someone who caused either of them harm. But, if we were considering a universe where Vega never hurt Caelum, and as a result, never crossed paths with Freelancer or Gavin, there's a possibility.

I don't know if you know this, but there's a lot of really negative feelings at most higher education institutions. Like, if you ever get the chance to listen to your English Department talking about other departments, colleagues, other people's work, etc, you'll see what I mean. Academia often becomes this huge pissing contest built on passive aggressiveness and superiority complexes, complete with gatekeeping and general snootiness. Needless to say, I feel like it would be a very viable place for Vega to find food.

So he's unformed, just kind of vibing in the departmental offices building, when he feels concern instead of annoyance. He finds a professor in one of the offices talking to a student. Most of the teachers did genuinely care about their students, but that care tended to be overshadowed by their own self image. This professor wasn't trying to put on any kind of act, though. He just wanted to help.

Vega is intrigued. He doesn't often care much about humans, but this one seems so much softer and more passive, for lack of a better term, than many of his peers. He doesn't make backhanded jabs at his coworkers. He doesn't get annoyed when people ask him to run copies or deliver things to the registrar's office. He just does it, and he's genuinely happy to help.

I'll be honest, I have no idea how they would end up meeting. My best guess would be that Gavin would notice some demon he doesn't know hanging around Lasko and confront him. When he realizes that Vega is a sadism demon, he's even more confused, since Lasko has literally nothing for him. Vega ends up admitting, in his roundabout way, that he's fascinated by Lasko and is curious to know more about him. Gavin (very astutely) points out that the best way to learn more about someone is to talk to them, not to stalk them.

Vega figures he can try it Gavin's way, if only because he doesn't want to get chased off, and he ends up walking into Lasko's office one day, fully-formed and visible. Lasko understandably panics a bit, but he recognizes Vega's magic. Vega ends up having to explain that he's been feeding there for a while, and Lasko ends up kind of laughing because that's totally valid. Vega also says he's curious about Lasko, which catches him off guard since he has no idea why some sadism demon would even spare him a second thought.

They talk for a while, and Vega ends up appreciating that Lasko is willing to answer his questions. Better yet, he puts thought into his answers. He speaks with nuance and understanding of the topics he talks about, and Vega likes that. He's also drawn in by Lasko's gentleness. It's not something he sees a lot of in humans, so he's intrigued by it. On Lasko's end, he's very flattered that Vega seems to find him so interesting. Like, here's this tall, hot demon that just walks into his office and asks about how he feels about the frequent othering of demonkind and the prejudices against his race, and then actually listens to his thirty minutes of nonstop rambling about how discrimination of any kind, including against demons, does nothing but enforce damaging power structures and stir up tensions between empowered humans and demons to keep their attention off of the problems the government itself perpetuates.

Their relationship would be built on mutual intrigue and the connection I feel like they'd form with each other at being largely outcasted and misunderstood for reasons outside of their control. I can vividly see that "he asked for no pickles" meme with Vega looming over Lasko and glaring at some poor employee. This is his human, and nobody gets to cause him any pain or distress.

Mobile fucked up the extension to this post so I'm posting it separately lol

[newberyandchai]

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry (1977)

Roll of thunder Hear my cry Over the water Bye and bye Ole man comin’ Down the line Whip in hand to Beat me down But I ain’t Gonna let him Turn me around.

[Spoilers ahead]

What an important book — just as tense as The Slave Dancer in parts, but less horrifying and more insightful and entertaining... which I have some (not-so-groundbreaking) thoughts about. (These posts keep getting longer and longer, but forgive me; I was excited about this one.)

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry was always on the shelves in my elementary classrooms, but I was never interested enough to pick it up. I remember thinking that the book must be written in something like Shakespearean English, given the title. And I suppose this is kind of true, although not with ye olde English. The dialog spoken by the Logan family is written in African American Vernacular English while the narrative portion is in more traditional written English.

I appreciate this because it both gave insight into how Cassie and her family communicated with each other without code-switching and illustrated the idea that speaking "properly" is not indicative whatsoever of actual intelligence. Even today, in which it seems like anyone non-white person is automatically dismissed if they can't speak perfect English without a thick accent, I appreciated seeing phrases like, "You care what a lot of useless people say 'bout you you'll never get anywhere, 'cause there's a lotta folks don't want you to make it” spoken aloud by characters. The Logan family felt much, much more real than the Black characters in Slave Dancer, who were almost always talked about collectively as "the blacks" and as though they didn't have the mental capacity to communicate at all.

But before Analysis Brain takes over the rest of this post, let's go into the plot a bit:

The story is about the Logans, a Black family in the American South during the Jim Crow era. There has just been a lynching in the community, which leads Cassie on a roundabout journey during the school year to figure out the role she is supposed to hold in society as a Black girl. A lot of different relationships between the Black and white people in the community take place:

TJ, a friend of Cassie's brother Stacey, thinks he's a hotshot for hanging out with some older white boys and feels like this has elevated his social status, even though they're just toying with him as a joke. They end up getting him to commit a crime with them and pin it on him because they're aware of their privilege; it's ultimately their word against his.

Cassie's teacher embodies the "don't bite the hand that feeds" mentality. When Cassie is outraged after finding out that her class's textbooks used to belonged to white children and were only given to the Black school once they were torn up and worn out, her teacher punishes her and her younger brother for having a problem with it.

Jeremy, a boy from a prominent white family, likes to hang out with Stacey and walks in the mornings with the Logan family before they part ways to go to their separate schools, but Stacey rejects his friendship several times because he's suspicious of Jeremy's motives. In this case, a genuine offer of friendship is confused for being transactional, just from what he's seen of other interactions between Black and white folks.

In the end, tensions between Cassie's family and the Wallaces, the white family that orchestrated the first lynching, come to a head. TJ, who participated in a robbery with two of the Wallace sons that led to a white man's accidental death, is about to be lynched, but a sudden fire in the Logans' cotton fields leads to everyone helping to put out the flames. TJ escapes the situation with his life, but he still ends up going to jail for the crime. At the very end, Cassie realizes her father had set fire to his own field to cause a distraction that would end up affecting everyone in the community if they didn't all work together to stop it.

But my favorite part by far was the long con that Cassie pulls on a rude white girl, Lillian Jean. In short, LJ disrespects Cassie and asks her to call her "Miss" as a show of subservience, and when Cassie protests, Cassie's grandmother makes her apologize to both LJ and her father to avoid an even worse conflict, even though she's done nothing wrong. Cassie decides to take this apology to the extreme and pretends to be LJ's friend and "know her place": she carries her books for her, compliments her, brushes her hair, etc., as though she was LJ's personal servant. During this time, she learns all of LJ's most important schoolgirl secrets, including which boys she likes. After some time passes, Cassie suddenly drops the act and pushes LJ into the mud one morning, making her promise to not bother her again and threatening to reveal her secrets if she tells anyone what Cassie did.

The chapter ends with Lillian Jean seeming completely shocked, saying she truly thought Cassie was her friend during the entire act. I think this shows the true ignorance in the white perspective at the time: many religious leaders in the Bible-thumpin' South preached that whites were God's chosen people and Black people were always intended to serve others, so I doubt Lillian Jean even thought to view Cassie as a real person. To her, Cassie could only ever be an uneducated, opinionless servant — a background character without her own personality who only has value when serving white people. For Lillian Jean to confuse Cassie's act with true friendship shows how many assumptions she's making about Cassie's very personhood.

In this case, I don't think the book was trying to portray LJ as a serious aggressor; if anything, it shows that she's not really at fault at all by way of sheer ignorance. From what the rest of the book shows, Lillian Jean was just parroting her family's views when she saw Cassie acting as though she had value beyond what was socially expected of Black members of their community, so she belittled Cassie to put her back into the role she was "supposed" to fill. Of course, this mindset is still around today in different ways (e.g., the more modern "I don't care if you're gay, but don't shove it down my throat" mentality if a same-sex couple dares to hold hands or essentially do anything a straight couple would do in public), and maybe it always will be.

This is nothing new (High School Musical illustrated roughly the same thing through teen romance and dance numbers nearly 20 years ago), but: There's such a deep-seated need to show others where we feel they belong in relation to ourselves, and I think this largely reflects what we were shown and taught by others in our childhoods. Our egos are too fragile to be able to let go of the things that other people do and not feel a desire to "put them in their place" if we were shown all our lives that our own place is higher on the totem pole — but acting rudely because of ignorance isn't an acceptable excuse in the Internet Age.

One of the quotes I try to live by goes something like, "Your first thought is what society has told you to think; your second thought determines your character." We have more opportunities than ever before in history to inform and shape that second thought into something kind, respectful, and productive.

With The Slave Dancer, I felt nothing but disgust and a strong desire to put the book down (or even throw it in the trash) while reading Jesse's perspective of being an unwilling white participant in the transatlantic slave trade. The idea that the slaves in Slave Dancer did not have any dialog forced the focus onto the despicable actions of characters like Ben Stout, who tormented slaves for fun, and it was just tragedy after tragedy until the slaves all perished at the end of the book.

But when given only the perspective of the Black characters in Roll of Thunder, I couldn't put it down and read the whole thing across two days. Both stories depicted race-related violence and gave a good picture of what people are truly capable of when driven by a hatred of the "other," but I was much more willing and eager to root for the Logan family and read about their lives in their own words than play the part of the powerless observer like Jesse.

This is long enough: 9/10, Recommendable.

[xexiar]

Keep Watching. Ch 6

Ch 5 Ao3 FFnet

Chapter 6

It was a struggle to convince mom about the meal plan that All Might wanted me to start. Especially since I couldn't tell her why I was doing this. Not to mention how I also needed to get a few workout gear. But I gave up talking to her when she said how all this was pointless. So that night, I decided to make a few stops by the local pawn shops. Maybe I'll be lucky; they had some weights and other stuff.

As I walked, I saw a few classmates hanging out in front of a convent store. I did notice that one of them was Kato. So, I decided to take the roundabout path to the next pawn shop. While waiting for the light to change, I hoped nobody noticed me. "Hey! Isn't that Midoriya?" Oh no. I looked over to my left and saw how they had all eyes on me.

The light needed to hurry and change because they were making their way to me. But it wasn't fast enough as Kato placed a hand on my shoulder. "Well, well. What a bastard like you doing on my turf?" I tried to cross the street when the light changed, but Kato held me in place. "Don't leave, buddy."

Kato and his friends dragged me into a back ally and took turns punching me. One of the girls was recording everything on her phone. "Smile for the camera, quirkless." At that moment, I heard the sound of a switchblade knife being flipped. "Help him smile, babe."

Watching as one of the boys came towards me with the knife out. As he got closer, I suddenly felt something by my hand and took a quick peek at what it was. It was shards of glass from the window Kato slammed me into. I took one of the pieces and lunged forward. But at the last second, I threw the glass at the guy with the knife. He then activated his quirk that turned his body to smoke. Doing so had the glass not hurt him but also made him drop the knife.

I rushed and grabbed the knife. Once I had it in my hand, I quickly stepped back to avoid Kato's finger quirk. When his fingers touched the ground, I took that chance to slash off one of his figures. As he screamed in pain, I threw the knife at the girl. She dodged it, but it gave me enough of an opening to run past all of them. I ran all the way to the main streets.

My lungs felt like they were on fire when I finally reached the pawn shop. Stepping inside, I was greeted by the shop owner. "What you want now, kid?" He was in a grumpy mood but was nice. I walked over to the counter and took out a few bills.

"Do you have any weights and other workout gear?"

The owner took the money and started to count it. "This will cover at least one dumbbell." He then started walking to the back. "But for you, kid, I'll throw in some hand grips and boxing hand wraps. By the way." He turned to me and pointed. "What happened to your hands?"

I looked at my hands and saw that they were bleeding. "Just a few scratches." The owner shook his head and went to the back room. When he returned, he gave me a gym and book bag. He went about what was in each of them. "Thanks so much, Uncle." He smiled and opened the door for me. As heavy as everything was, I was surprised I could carry everything home.

The next day as I walked to school, something seemed off. During my walk, I spotted Kacchan and tried my best to stay as far as possible. I hope he didn't notice me following him to school, especially after the week of him trying to catch me. I wish I could tell him that I started training with All Might. But I promised to not speak a one to anyone. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell Kacchan. Would it make him happy? Or angry?

As I walked into class, I saw how Kato was sitting on Kacchan's desk. I also could see that Kato's left hand was bandaged up. After yesterday I was hoping I wouldn't have to face him today. But it doesn't seem that would be possible. And telling how everyone gave me death stares, it was clear Kato told the class what went down.

When I reached my desk, I wasn't the least surprised. Written on my desk were all sorts of insults. Many weren't even that creative. As I sat down is when the teacher finally came in. That's when I noticed how Kato smirked at me before looking at the teacher. "Mr. Aoki, you don't mind if we give the quirkless an early morning lesson?"

"As long as it stays within the class." Why was I not surprised. Mr. Aoki and many other teachers encouraged the class to beat me. Something about putting me in my place. I saw how two of the students went and locked the classroom doors.

As Saito threw me to the back wall, one of the girls used her quirk. She levitated spikes from another student and had me pinned to the wall. Thankfully it only held my clothes and didn't cut me. I then watched the guy whose quirk gave him rock skin get ready to punch me. He punched my stomach, and I coughed up blood. Then came a punch to my face. "Ree, remove the spikes. Let Koji break the bastard's arms."

With the spikes gone, I fell to the floor. Taking in a deep breath, I grabbed one of the spikes. When Koji grabbed me by my hair, I quickly rammed the spike into his foot. "Damn it!" He pulled me up, but I used my foot to kick the spike down more before punching me. He then let me go, and I grabbed another two spikes. I was done being their damn punching bag.

One by one came at me. Somehow I was able to dodge each of their swings, all while I drove a spike through everyone's leg. The only three that were left were Kacchan, Kato, and Saito. But that's when I noticed that Kacchan never moved from his seat. "Come on, Bakugo. Help us out, man."

Kacchan just looked at Saito. "This is your fight, not mine. Besides, I don't help extras." The look of horror on Saito's face as he looked back at me was very pleasing. I couldn't help but smile as I waved for Kato and Saito to come at me. At that moment, all I cared about and felt was the burning rage to punish the idiots who took Kacchan away from me.

Kato and Saito looked at me and didn't seem to move. When I stepped forward, they backed up. But just then, the first bell rang. For the rest of the day, everyone left me alone. Even during lunch, nobody looked my way. It felt nice to eat lunch without dealing with people pouring drinks on me. At that, it just felt nice to eat after whatever came over me.

…

When Kato texted me this morning, something didn't seem right. He went about how he crossed paths with Deku and how the nerd cut him. That didn't sound like Deku. The nerd didn't have a mean bone in his whole body. He was too nice sometimes. It was sometimes what made it easy to bully him.

But as I pondered what Kato told me, it got me wondering. I had known Deku for so long, and that's when it hit me. As much as the nerd smiled or put up with everything, he was smart. Heck. When I read through his notebooks, he takes amazing notes. Sometimes a little too detailed. Especially the notes on the quirks of everyone in the class and their weakness. I didn't see anything about me, but that doesn't mean he hasn't written about me. Oh, I have a bad feeling about today.

As I sat in class, Kato told everyone they needed to finally put Deku in his place. While he spoke, I saw how his left hand was bandaged up. So his story about Deku cutting must be true. But what did Kato do to get Deku in that position?

"As long as it stays within the class." When Mr. Aoki said those words, I watched as everyone started to move. I stood in my seat. Whatever was about to happen, I did not want any part of it. Compared to everyone in the class, I was the only one who knew that Deku was fast. When that nerd really wants to, he finds a way. And I was right when I saw the fear in Saito and Kato's eyes.

"Come on, Bakugo. Help us out, man."

"This is your fight, not mine. Besides, I don't help extras." The horror that crossed their face was a sight to see. Whatever was happening behind me must have been amazing. Watching how Kato and Saito shook in fear and stepped back was perfect. But sadly, my entertainment was cut short when the bell rang. Even Mr. Aoki looked horrified.

Once the school day was over, I watched as the injured extras stumbled out of the classroom. I waited till everyone, besides Deku, was gone. That's when I turned to the nerd. "Where have you been running off to?"

"Can't tell you." As he packed his bag, I noticed how exhausted he looked. Which means he hasn't been sleeping again.

"You're going to tell me." Deku flinched as I walked over to him. I grabbed him by the collar. "Spill it."

Deku just looked right at me. There was no avoiding eye contact or crying. "I just can't." With that, I pushed him back in his seat. "Kacchan!"

"Don't Kacchan me." I stepped on his lap, pinning him to the chair. "Your mom called the old hag. She never does that. So, spill it."

That's when Deku started to cry as he looked away from me. "I want to tell you, but I just can't."

"Look at me!" I grabbed his chin and made him face me. While looking into those green eyes of his, it was clear he was serious. "If your mom calls the hag one more time, I will beat your ass. And I will make you tell me what's going on." I let his face go. "Got that, nerd?" I removed my foot from Deku.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." Deku got up and grabbed his book bag. I then watched him go into his bag and take out a small box. He handed it to me. "Happy birthday, Kacchan." With that, I took the box, and he ran out. That damn nerd. I placed the box in my bag and started leaving class.

When I got home, I remembered Deku had given me something. Before going to my room, I looked around the kitchen and saw the note on the fridge. Another birthday of them working late again. I grabbed a few ingratiated from the fridge and made myself my own birthday dinner. "Happy birthday, me."

Once I finished eating, I went to my room and brought my All Might doll next to me. As I pulled the box from my book bag, I could feel my heart racing. Even when I was a complete jerk to Deku, he still gave me something for my birthday. My face started to burn as I looked at the small box.

As always, the box was nicely wrapped. That nerd is obsessed over the smaller details. It always felt like a crime to unwrap these. But taking a deep breath, I finally slowly peeled away the wrapping. And was in complete disbelief. It was the latest hero fighting game. That damn nerd.

Come the next few weeks, I noticed how everyone kept their distance from Deku. At that, not even extras from the other classes bullied him during lunch. Something about this felt nice. Especially when I sat alone, I had a clear view of that nerd. What made the sight questionably confusing was how I enjoyed seeing him smile.

I should be annoyed, maybe angry, at his very existence. But during these small moments, I simply enjoyed my little secret. Since there's no way he'll get into the same high school as me, maybe I could use that time to fix our friendship. But same time, there's no way that would be possible. Maybe it'll be better to finally accept that I must completely leave him behind. And just focus on being the number one hero.

[peachmuses]

sociieties asked: all things considered, it doesn't take kazuya too long to find haizaki. not when there's a blood trail that's easily enough to follow and there's not that many guys laid out on the sidewalk thanks to shuu's handiwork. ---- hara kazuya does not remember anything else. nothing between suddenly snapping out of it and looking for some asshole. it's dark out now ( darker, it was already getting late when he left ) and he can't really see too much, just that it's him, a limp body, and nothing else. he's covered in blood, too, both his own and that of haizaki. shit. shit. he looks over at haizaki / unmoving, mildly mutilated, the dude's chest isn't moving. he's not breathing, hasn't been for a while now. kazuya blinks, feeling his mind struggle against the urge to fall back into some sort of daze, but his body hurts and his hands — he looks at his hands, they're shaking and slick with blood — he fucked up. his mouth is dry, something he realizes after he tries to swallow a mouthful of spit and it's as unpleasant as the scene before him would be if he wasn't feeling so numb to everything. haizaki's dead. kazuya's pretty sure he was the one to kill him. they're just alone in some abandoned building. shit. he should call someone / he reaches for his own phone, tapping the screen until it comes on and he's blinded in the process. whatever, he'll live, ignores it as shaky hand thumbs through contacts and he finds tatsuya's and presses the call button. it rings once, twice, pick up pick up pick up, the call is answered and kazuya speaks for the first time in what feels like forever / it comes out quiet and breathless, audibly shaken, " tatsu? i need you. i- please. i need you... " / smtz

when tatsuya planned a weekend trip to tokyo it definitely wasn't to this. he's been sitting in the hospital for hours -- listening as shuuzou sleeps and makoto worries over him and kazuya. makoto had once turned to him, worried out of his mind and told him that shuuzou allowed him to drag him to the hospital without a single fuss -- which is how makoto knows it's bad. and that they haven't heard anything from kazuya in hours now -- and tatsuya checks his phone once again to see his last message still on delivered and not read and he can't help but worry. when his phone rings -- he sits up blinking, only to look and see [love] flash across the screen and he's answering. " zu-chan ? " soft as the heart moniter beeps in the background, and kazuya breathes out his name, shakey and tatsuya's throwing on his jacket. makoto is next to him, and tatsuya is again wondering what in the world is wrong with the universe. his best friend is laid up in the hospital, and his boyfriend sounds scared and terrified. he shifts phone to ear, " i'm on my way. where are you at ? " makoto looks at him, and tatsuya mouths kazuya's name before glancing back at shuu. " let me know when he wakes up --- " he says to makoto, trying to keep his voice quiet enough that kazuya doesn't hear him. concussed people aren't suppose to sleep but they put him on some painkillers that had ended up knocking shuu out -- and tatsuya had ran like a bat out of hell the minute he got out of the train to the hospital only to see one of the most important people to him, passed out, and for the first time in a long time, tatsuya had remembered that shuuzou wasn't this --- grand figure, who was loud and boistorous and stern at times, but a child. a kid. well a teen but really, the bed was too big and shuuzou seemed too small, and tatsuya hated it. " baby ? " he softly says to kazuya as he makes his way out of the hospital, " i'm on my way. where are you ? or do you have a roundabout idea of where you are ? or do i need to check l360 ?"