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scenesplitterworld-blog · 7 years ago

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It’s Not About the Shape – It’s About the Lie (An investigation into why flat earth hip-hop may seem merely stupid, but might actually be dangerous too: Electric Bugaloo)

Author’s Disclaimer: I’m sure that, like most people, most flat earthers are fine. Most people who rap about the shape of the place we all live on are probably fine. I acknowledge that the two dudes I profile in this investigation are probably the ISIS of your conspiracy movement. If you come across this article, and you’re a regular John or Jane Q. Flat Earther, please understand that your willfully ignorant belief has some truly disgusting expressions and intellectual underpinnings. So, with quite a bit of conscious irony, if you are a “moderate” flat earth truther, I exhort you to denounce your radically anti-Semitic fringe, particularly Eric Dubay. It may be a shitty presumption on my part, but I just assume that even you, hypothetical, humdrum Dale or Erma P. Flat Earther, are the kind of person to constantly post to FacePage that “moderate Muslims” must unceasingly denounce Al-Qaeda. And if, havin’ read through this, you’re the kind of person who’ll accuse me of being a “SJW” because I think promoting Holocaust denial is hugely problematic, eat shit; die mad with stank breath. But, if you’re a hardcore ODD TV or Dubay boy, please come at me, I’ll gladly take whatever you consider lumps. All that said, let’s listen to some real fringe fuckin’ hip-hop, shall we?

I’ll bet most folks view people who believe the earth isn’t really round as nothing more than loons and larks. That’s how I started. Owing to a strange encounter I had with a feller at a show last winter, I had a picture of flat earth truthers as young, isolated, drunk, white dudes with dreadlocks wearing kneepads over their jeans saying gross things to pretty ginger gals. I was a little worried, but still mostly tickled, to discover that there’s a largish community of believers online. If you don’t get into the weeds of what belief in the flat earth entails, it’s easy to laugh it off as mere ignorant buffoonery, but, whoooooo boy, if you examine it closely, you’re in for one of the wildest, and surprisingly disturbing, rides of your life.

I stepped through the looking glass on accident, when I stumbled on this music video, “Cartoon Ball,” by ODD TV. At first, I clowned on it. Of course I did. Did you watch it? Christ. Dude’s shirt says “Never Sleep Again,” and he really looks like he ain’t slept because he’s in the early, still exciting days of a meth bender. I sent this video to friends and shared it on my timeline because I wanted to spread the chuckles. To be fair to ODD TV, I think he’s got legitimate talent. Not just on this track, but also throughout his catalogue, he’s got a catchy flow and his songs show a deft use of samples – for example, in the bluntly titled song, “Dear NASA, Why Are You Lying,” he takes the lyric “Space may be the final frontier, but it’s made in a Hollywood basement” from Red Hot Chili Pepper’s song “Californication,” and using that in a song about how the earth is actually not globe-shaped is, artistically, fairly dope. Not at all what the funky, cock-socked, SoCal, alt-rock, boys had in mind when they wrote the song, but that’s ODD TV’s genius. His video production, likewise, is slick. It’s much slicker than this other flat earther we’re gonna scrutinize in a sec, but one thing these guys share, which, I gotta say, is utterly derivative of almost every other conspiracy theorist with social media accounts, is referencing the Rowdy Roddy Piper flick, They Live. Guys. Give it a moratorium, right now, y’all have made it lazy.

Anyway, I got my giggles and moved on, right? Obviously not. After my mirth settled down, I found myself returning to “Cartoon Ball,” and for all my above praise, I wasn’t watching this weird shit again because I was real into the music. Nah, I think it was this lyric in particular: “God created the heavens and the earth / in a verse / but we’re livin’ in a Freemasonic Galaxy.” ODD TV doesn’t get into what he means by that, exactly, in this video – although, he gets into in in his oeuvre, bet your ass on that – because he’s focused mostly on rallying the viewer against NASA.

But, on repeat viewing, you know, I caught this brief WTF nugget – a what the fugget, if you will: “We follow rapists and murderers / liars, thieves, and sun worshipers / sayin’ we can’t see curvature / ‘cause we’re all too small.” It’s the sun worshippers part that’s the sore thumb, right? Well, get ready for that sore thumb’s equally sore counterpart when ODD TV raps that believers in a spherical planet are “Stuck in the material domain of Satan.”

Well, little ol’ me, Alice Donkey Boy Croix, was drawn further into the flat earth hip-hop scene by YouTube’s helpful recommendation. Oh, what a twisted Wonderland that turned out to be. But store those what the fuggets away for later use, Beloved Reader, they’ll crash back into pertinence again directly. Presently, we need to turn to how things got soooooo much more goddamned bonkers. The other cat I referenced briefly earlier, his name’s Eric Dubay, and he’s just about the whole rest of the haul of our investigation. So, settle in to peep this video, “Once You Go Flat.”

Holy. Steaming. Shit. Y’all. Good. God. Damn.

Right?

Sorry to spring that diarrhea spray of hippo shit at you without much warning, but I wanted you to be as utterly gob-smacked as I was when Holocaust denial enters into things…and continues to spiral out from there. And just in case THAT was somehow an aberration from his mean, I watched this one. If you watched the first one, you already know to brace yourself, but, I cannot really stress enough that he, whew, he doubles down.

So, let’s shelve the vegetarian polemic and uh…yeah…that was the most hardcore anti-Semitic thing I’ve ever experienced in musical form. Oh, you too? Neat. Look at us, Gentle Mentals, with all this shit in common!

So, that video left my jaw on the fuckin’ floor, and that’s when I went over to www.ericdubay.com. I can neither confirm nor deny that visiting this page puts you on any sort of NSA list, but if the NSA is keeping tabs (hello, special agent, how are ya), it maybe should focus some attention on the shit our boy Dubay’s proudly posted here. Red flag it if you ain’t already, you may thank me later. Imagine that! The federales thanking little ol’ me!

BTW: we’re “in country” now, so maybe get your tin-foil helmet on.

A few sick bars and a shocking affinity for the OG Nazis ain’t the only radical thing about our boy Dubay. He moves in circles so fringe that they consider Alex Jones to be part of the “controlled opposition.” Dubay’s even a truther against other flat earth truthers. He goes hard on The Flat Earth Society for being “controlled opposition,” by pointing out the idiocy of their theory for what is really going on with “gravity” on a flat earth, which is that the earth is like a pizza crust tossed continually upwards, so…things don’t really fall, they’re just kind of suspended until the ground catches up to them. Yeah. The idea of controlled opposition is that you get a shill to be a very vocal idiot in order to discredit the more “legitimate” conspiracy investigators who have come too close to the truth. But who controls the controlled opposition? Remember when I told you to remember ODD TV’s reference to the Freemasons? The Sun Worshipers? The Satanists? Dubay says it’s them. He says that both The Flat Earth Society and NASA are chock full of Masons, Masons who are behind these lies. He claims NASA agents – whatever those are – have murdered flat earth truthers to maintain their grip on this elaborate illusion. And, in a series of infographics, he ain’t shy in explicitly linking these nefarious Masons directly to, you saw it, the Jews. He’s one of these New World Order, Jew World Order types. I realized I tossed that off kinda casually – he’s just one of those types – but let me assure you, I don’t do it dismissively. Dubay compares the way this global Jewish cabal runs the world’s affairs to the orchestrated sturm und drang of televised professional wrestling.

So you gotta wonder why lying about the shape of the earth is so important to our crypto-kosher overlords. I sure as fuck needed to know the answer to that myself, and, like any conspiracy theorists before him, this is where Dubay stumbles somewhat. He’s got 200 proofs for the truth of the flat earth, but he’s less articulate as towards the damnable “why” of it all. As I’ve been able to understand of his position, Eric Dubay believes we’re indoctrinated with the spinning globe model of cosmology, because if the global elite of Freemasonic Zionists can brainwash everybody on such a fundamental level as the ground beneath our feet, they can deceive and control us in any other sinister way they fuck well feel like.

Y’all, I’m a great many things. I’m not an astrophysicist, so, to be honest, I’m not really interested in engaging with the specifics of these dudes’ arguments regarding round versus flat, because – you know the Family Guy throwaway joke where Peter’s at the Cineplex helpfully pointing out when somebody in the movie says the movie’s title – to quote Mr. Dubay himself, “It’s not about the shape; it’s about the lie.”

Before I get deeper into this shit – yeah, you thought you were down the rabbit-hole already – I want to point out that if you want to get all this from the horse’s mouth, the last twenty or so minutes of the two-hour FAQ video on his site is my source for all this. And since getting deeper into this gets pretty heavy, I think we need a bit of a levity break, so, I present a riff on a few screen grabs from that video.

First of all, it’s hard to tell – among the things I am is poor of vision – it looks like the letter G has been replaced by the number 6 in the phrase “Sacred Geometry. The Great Architect of the Universe. Gravity.” 666 is metal, but in this case you’re using it in a way that’s way too mental to be heaviest, fam. The Jews are Satanists too, remember? Luciferian nonsense is a thing Alex Jones dabbles in also. Second, Pythagoras was the leader of a cult that worshiped numbers. Pythagoras literally had a motherfucker 86ed because he felt that the concept of pi was blasphemous and threatening to him personally as a cult leader. The reason I’m scratching my head is that you might know pi as a pretty foundational concept in calculating the circumference of the globe. Globe. So, if he’s part of a cabal bent on convincing you the world is round, why would he be so violently opposed to that squiggly little Stonehenge-lookin’, 3.14 on to infinitum meanin’, mathematical concept that would support the whole damn thing? Anyway, here’s another.

I think this is supposed to be an Illuminati thing, but all it proves to me is that many people have fingers, and covering one eye is an easy way to look mysterious and sexy. It’s not like they’re all holding their hands the same way either. If a person were to try to argue that Eric Dubay himself is part of the controlled opposition, I think this could be evidence of “too dumb to be serious.”

But I wanna get serious again. Back to the investigation. I wanted to know what made this dude tick. Call yourselves Ishmael, because ol’ Dubay became my white whale, only in this version, I think we spear the shit out of Moby Dick. Truly, I believe that in the final portions of that long ass video I’ve been talking about, we see into his core – and unlike the molten core of the round earth we sheeple foolishly believe in – the heart of Eric Dubay is a frozen, Jotunheim-esque, barren fearscape.

Eric Dubay’s animating impulse is this: a deep, incomprehensible terror that humanity has no purpose in existence. He believes that subscription to the ideas of the Big Bang and subsequent evolution of life on earth via the mechanism of natural selection is subscription to a fundamentally nihilistic outlook; if humanity has no reason – as he sees reason – to be, the crisis in his soul would be too great to bear. And, sure, I get that. But he has not coped well with that adolescent existential angst. If the universe is a vast and vastly complicated place, it’s a scary place to be at the fringe of, so, to bridge the rift of this Lovecraftian horror inside himself, he’s put himself at the center of debunking a conspiracy to shroud our planet’s central location in the universe; our planet’s non-rotating position, which is to say a position of stability. Stability. Think about how comforting a concept that is. Purpose. Stability. Simplicity. These are not abnormal desires, but our boy Dubay’s gone about attaining ‘em in an abnormally toxic fashion. And he’s certainly doing his damnedest to create the fellowship he craves though all his media outreach. Can’t blame a feller for not wanting to feel alone…but when Holocaust denial is such a big part of your identity, it’s – to put it politely – extremely fuckin’ troublesome that you want others to believe as you do.

Dear reader, Gentle Mental, “Hypocrite Lecteur,”* if you’re wondering why the fuck any of this matters, this here’s that part of the article; buckle the fuck up. I believe that never before in human history has the battle against propaganda been more vital to the survival of the species. I’m typing this on Sunday, October 15, 2017, and the last headline I read was about Kim Jong threatening to bomb Guam if Trump don’t shut the fuck up about him on Twitter. We’ve got fucking lunatics at the trigger; we’ve got so much evidence that the Kremlin orchestrated the most effective “hearts and minds” campaign of the internet age; we’ve got tactics of division being employed by the most cynical and unhinged people of influence. So why should this flat earth shit matter? We’ve got all that more important shit I listed, right? Because flat earth’s your gateway conspiracy. Pretty soon, you’re hip-deep in the most virulent Protocols of the Elders of Zion bullshit.** Some conspiracy theorists have the…decency’s not the right word, so let’s start over. Some conspiracy theorists are crypto-anti-Semitic. OBVIOUSLY not our boy Dubay. Lemme quote from his song “Blood Rituals,” “You are blind, so fuck what you say / I’ll expose the flat earth and hail Hitler all day.” That’s so obviously dangerous, and the ideas of flat earth and anti-Semitism are so clearly linked, that we shouldn’t need to dwell, so I’ll move us along with this tossed out aside: fuck you, Richard Spencer, for ruining Tiki Torches, but thank you for being conveniently illustrative of the point that being a ringleader for Nazi sympathizers does in fact correlate to assholes in the street beating people and murdering them indiscriminately with cars.

*Editor’s Note: Goddamnit, DB! After I chewed your ass for quoting Yeats that last time, you have the nerve to bring this Baudelaire shit to the table? I want a picture of Spider Man on my desk TOMORROW!!

**Author’s Note: For an wonderfully illuminating examination of the history and influence of Protocols of the Elders of Zion, I highly recommend the July 27, 2017 episode of a podcast called Knowledge Fight. (http://knowledgefight.libsyn.com/size/25/?search=Protocols+of+the+elders+of+zion) Hosts Jordan and Dan do a thorough job of linking this fraudulent document DIRECTLY to Alex Jones’ framing of his favorite nemesis, the Globalist bogeymen, and even David Icke’s Reptilians. Do yourself a favor and dive into this podcast whole hog.

Provided that even one fewer gullible cocksucker buys into the dangerous worldviews of somebody like ODD TV, Alex Jones, or Eric Dubay, I will deem all efforts to expose their nonsense worthwhile, valid, and necessary. I don’t believe I’m virtue signaling when I speak out in order to shed light on hucksters’ efforts to spread dangerous racial, religious, or national divisions. It isn’t trivial to examine how those divisions may be spread insidiously as the necessary expression of these ideas; symptoms of the cancer, boils on the ass of the corpus scientia. Alex Jones is right about at least one thing: we are fighting an info war. He’s on the wrong side of it, to be sure, but it’s the same sort of info war Mike Pence fought in when he performed his indignant pageant at the ball game. And I don’t think that in speaking against any of this nonsense I’m beating a dead horse. And I believe that speech is action. If I reiterate a point, it is at least my humble intention to bring new nuance. I believe that the one person who was teetering on the fence but saw the truth of these bonkers narratives could be the one person who might have otherwise been the next to take a gun to something like a DC pizza joint to find out if interdimensional, shape shifting, child-molesting, psychic vampires run the government. Or do something so much more tragic in the name of bringing down whatever conspiracy it is they’ve been taken in by.

This’s the rock I reckon I’ll die on, should anybody respectfully disagree. Thank you for your time, Gentle Mentals, friends, fiends, and foes alike. It’s time to pray.

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