#rotating like the most beautiful rotisserie chicken ever

[aethernoise]

After the Dawntrail graphic update nerfed Alyx, I used fantasia to change a few features and Cope, basically. Over the last month I'd gotten used to her new face - even come to like it - until I'd get into gpose and try to capture her like I used to. None of the angles and shapes were the same anymore. I'd look at screenshots from weeks prior and feel utterly despondent that the face I knew for almost 10 years was just GONE.

While the actual feature shapes definitely changed (some due to new facial bones, some are just. completely nonsensical choices) I realized through close scrutiny that a lot of the difference was due to the lack of definition in the skin texture. I can't 3D sculpt, but I CAN paint, so I finally took matters into my own hands and manually edited the highlander face 1 diffuse in Procreate. I basically added shadows where they had removed them, and drew in what feels like a brand new version of the old iconic upper lip.

The eyeshadow is still a little funky up close, but I'm literally so relieved and happy I could cry. I almost did last night when I first imported the texture.

She's back. A little bit different, but she looks like herself again. She's back. WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK.

[otaku-tactician]

Lips Sparked with Passion

Greatly feared for his ability to reduce countless people to writhing masses of sexual desire, most beings submit wholly to King Asmodeus’ power- yet you were completely immune to the sexual side of his lust, nonplussed by his nature.

Asmodeus doesn’t mind.

Further intrigued by the passions you bury deep within; he engages you within the fruitful art of conversation instead, yearning to listen to your words.

SFW ficlet, Gender Neutral Character x WHB Asmodeus (no smut)

TW: Visceral imagery concerning his aura, mentions his sex powers (no sex though), POV Second Person. 

AO3 link here!

Able to succumb even the staunchest of minds within his never-ending, all-consuming lustful fervour; not many could overcome the Most Dreaded Devil King’s indomitable aura, and yet here you stand- gaze unenthused. 

Drowning within the decadent, golden cloud-like streaked walls of Asmodeus’ overpowering russet red and yellowing walls; you simply stare back at the Demon King- mostly unperturbed. 

Sure, his stance is deadly- intimidating, even- primal energy leaking from every pore in a way that’d have even the most fearless of souls quivering- but his aphrodisiac stench also evokes a sensation of rotting, decay- like the age-old perfumes of a wilting flower... 

In other words, it wasn’t really your thing. 

Nor was sex, the activity not exactly reigning strong in your list of interests.  

Sure, you experienced passion and desire for hobbies, goals, relationships and dreams just like anybody else- sex was just simply not a part of that list though, and that was okay. 

Aware of this, Asmodeus’ wine-red eyes simmer with pure interest, just as excited to delve deeply into the cogs that powered your soul; eager to engage with the passions that drive you, fascinated by what interests set you alight. 

Whether it’s via the sexual arts, or by the art of conversation- both experiences serve as a vital way for him to delve into the hearts and minds of others; as an indispensable means of relishing wholly within the intensity of others’ desires and emotions. 

 Both variations of passion were of an equal worth to the king. 

Both forms elicit fluttering butterflies within his thirsting chest, desperate for more. 

Interested in all that everyone had to offer; Asmodeus is hungering, salivating, CRAVING for interaction- to dominate the entirety of what keeps souls burning bright, tongue winding amorously over even the darkest of secrets. 

He greatly admires the words that spill from every existence's uneasy breaths; and yours will be next, his back delighting within a delectable electric thrill.  

With that in mind, his sultry words- bursting at the seams with wit and candour- prod at your mind, peeling the layers away; bit-by liberating bit.

Words unsullied by judgement, he simply observes- rotating you like a rotisserie chicken within his deeply inquisitive mind. 

It’s strange- you should feel scared, feel frightened by such an overpowering, dour aura- that leaks from every step he takes forth; his glistening lips spread so wide with glee- and yet the idea of letting deeply buried thoughts and feelings fly free sparks something mighty within you. 

The Devil King’s passion ignites the dam concealing your words, speech bursting forth like a tidal wave. 

And as you speak, words tripping and dancing over all kinds of experiences within your life; jumping into beautiful, sun-kissed pools- filled with things that keep you going every day- jiving with dreams that you’d dared not tell anyone- Asmodeus simply listens to all you want to say, eyes fluttering in a way that feels close, intimate. 

Almost as if he understands. 

As if he knows all there is to know, no topic too ‘weird’ or ‘unsightly’ for the likes of him. 

Being the first to witness such words, the first to claim such a sentimental heart-to-heart- it does many things to Asmodeus; drenching him within deeply fastidious flames, as he pores over every single syllable, pulse racing at every breath that spills from your lips. 

And as those sharp, lacquered claws fasten against brimming emotions; that threaten to explode in your chest, the words ceaselessly tumble out of your mouth- it's a flash flood of conversation. 

A torrid downpour of endless feelings and desires all rush forth from loose lips- your mouth is unstoppable; all thoughts unshackled before his luscious gaze. 

It’s all too much- the way your words leap towards the skies- drinking in the unanimous warmth of the sun- the way your heart squeezes from such rapturous release, able to express yourself freely and openly; the way in which he hums a deeply soothing tune as his smirk unlocks the treasures within, evoking a feeling of almost coming home- 

One thing is clear. 

His abilities were boundless, able to emphasise with all cravings that were to exist within this mortal plane. 

Unsullied by judgement, no spoken words would be callously destroyed here. 

Lips sparking with passion; your words would be safe here. 

[defeateddetectives]

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

thank youuu @coquelicoq for the tag! yes this is an entire month late because of who i am as a person :'D

3 ships you like: actually gonna give some real estate to the ones i have NOT been rotating nonstop on this space like a rotisserie chicken lately to mix things up!

1) hiyakawa/mikado (the night beyond the tricornered window) - a plug for my tiny, spooky, hilarious and obscure af manga series that blindsided me with its pathos (and because i want everyone to read it and then create some very niche fan-content for me specifically! :D wait who said that!) emotionally oblivious loser 4 emotionally oblivious loser!!! except they're emotionally oblivious in fun, complementary ways! their whole journey is absolutely bonkers and unexpectedly heartfelt, and yes, exorcism should be this hot always!

2) natsume/tanuma (natsume yuujinchou) - i know that no one will believe me when i say that this is still THE natsume yuujinchou ship to me at the end of the day! something something if i loved it less i might be able to talk about it more! but lonely kids finding one another and making each other's lives SO MUCH BETTER solely for existing in each other's orbit and being such a paragon of healthy, functional communication and trust and growing connection that still floors me to this day (and with such courage and eloquence that most adults still cannot manage...i say...sideeyeing two v specific adults)!!! theirs was the thread that pulled me into the series to begin with (i literally just watched all the tanuma eps on first pass) and i'm still so grateful for them and everything about them

3) jack rackham/anne bonny (black sails) - platonic/queerplatonic/romantic/whichever combo or other nebulous way you slice it! THE soulmates of all time that haunt me on the regular and really said to the audience: watch us take your expectations and definitions and parameters of love, joyfully smash it to smithereens, and create something so tremendously unrecognizable and beautiful. truly partners till they put us in the fucking ground!!!

first ship ever: the first fanfic i stumbled upon in my life featured taichi and yamato from digimon adventure. i still remember this because it was interspersed with an edit of yamato in a dress and posted on ye olde personal webpages and shown to me by a school friend, both of us looking like the :o face incarnate. we were Babies. it was a Time. i don't even think i knew what a ship was at the time but hashtag formative things!

last song you heard: it's been a grimes & janelle monae - venus fly kinda day

favourite childhood book: soft spot for whitechurch by chris lynch forever. i think i read it maybe in high school? it rewired my brain and is probably a huge part of why i am the way i am/write the way i do subconsciously.

currently reading: does vi bullying me into danmei count? in which case, global examination....at snail's pace. in this house we love and appreciate a good arson!

currently watching: recently started rewatching the original a:tla for the first time since it finished airing after trying and failing miserably with the live action :( only a few episodes in but augh its still so good and some things hit even harder with foreknowledge. there will never really be another character arc like zuko's ever again.

currently consuming: a smoothie! i've discovered i am a fan of almond butter when dunked in a blender with berries, yogurt and milk. 11/10 would recommend!

currently craving: earlier today i was daydreaming of bbq so let's go with that

super low pressure tagging @endless-season @half-infinite @argyros @fadedclxssic @caroline-hill @kastellaran @doubleboyfriend @constastan @spookirou and as always, everyone is welcome to steal

[quazarshark]

1, 2, 19

Your first OC ever?

I think her name was "dragon lady", she existed roughly from when I was 6 to when I was 10. She had long beautiful hair and armour made of scales and rode on a black unicorn with dragon wings. Y'know, the usual stuff. She was "the guardian of the dragons" or something and would speak for them in times of trouble (cuz y'know, dragons struggle to speak with humans, being dragons and all and definitely not subconscious expressions of being an autistic kid).

The oldest still-existing OC I have is Teera, who is based on the personality I gave a big tiger plushie I got when I was 9 (and still have!) :3

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

This is a hard question!!! I think like many people I go through phases of obsessing over a small handful of blorbos. I think at the moment it's James the zombie guy, the infraflux crimers (Effa, Mr/tree, Carousel the deer guy, others I haven't drawn yet), and by necessity Quentin the centaur sorcerer, who I'm going to be playing in a D&D game starting in a few weeks so I've been rotating him in my mind like a rotisserie chicken.

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

I feel like I'm in a weird OC crisis/revolution phase rn where en masse a lot of my older OCs and the stories they connect to are starting to lose brainspace in my head, and just aren't as interesting to me any more... Of that old stuff though for some reason Looplock is still really meaningful to me??

I don't know why, honestly. He's an incredibly generic character when you get down to it; just a softboy bird wizard with a tragic backstory who tries to be kind in a harsh world. Maybe that's why he's stuck with me though: He's such a gooey soft center compared to how prickly most of my other OCs are.

He seems to be archetypal of something I see a lot of other OC creators do, where they give a character pain and trauma, which leads directly to feeling affectionate and protective of the OC, which is perfectly fine and valid but really not something I relate to EXCEPT in the case of Looplock. He's my precious little skrunkly and I just want to hold him and tell him he's doing okay.

[thecottageinthedark]

#writing ruminations#it's just good to think about#rotate in your mind like a rotisserie chicken#what's the message here#what are we communicating about bodies and appearances#because conveniently the people with the most power are the people who can set the standard of beauty#and if you think they can't set it in their favor...#remember fatness used to be highly desirable back when it was hard for most people to ever get there

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “Beauty doesn’t have a one to one correlation with moral purity” is a very 101 basic concept people think they’re over in like fifth grade but it’s staggeringly insidious and omnipresent.

I’m talking about how in Sailor Moon, Usagi can have character dilemmas about being fat, and in the ghibli Earthsea movie, Therru can have backstory and character reactions about a disfiguring facial burn, and in the former you literally cannot see any part of Usagi’s body that’s even slightly thicker than any other character’s, and in the latter the disfiguring facial burn that characters react to with surprise and alarm is a faint pink patch under one eye.

I can talk about the visual difference between Jafar and the Sultan in disney’s Aladdin (the original animated version, I have not seen the live action remake)

I can talk about how half the point of Hans in Frozen is for once that we were given a villain that looks and talks like a disney prince classic, and how there was an immediate rush to look for (or write) his tragic backstory and what possibly led him to this, and when that’s done to Maleficent, the casting of Angelina Jolie also made her prettier than the original.

I can say this not as a finger-wagging scold of how all these works are morally impure, but rather, hoping to make a point about how deeply this is entrenched. How this threads in with stories where a villain’s behavior is motivated by their disability or disfigurement, or stories where said disability or disfigurement is their most prominent and talked-about trait, or where they “brought this upon themselves” because of their character flaws- Dr. Doom’s metal mask is directly narratively entwined with his cruel perfectionism and personal vanity.

I don’t think this means all of those characters and stories are bad. I’m not arguing that we must wipe clean every story that’s failed about this. But I think we should think about it, and I think it’s very important to ask questions if those stories also feature disabled or just plain honestly ugly heroes and neutral characters who aren’t depicted as tragically struggling with it like it’s a mark of evil. In the case of Jafar and the Sultan, they’re both old, but one of these people has aged into a comedy santa claus without any wrinkles that don’t make his jolly little cheeks look chubbier, while Jafar’s mouth is set in such deep lines they lend a striking, distinctive quality to his facial features.

And frankly, I feel like we can also talk about how deconstructions of this trope (or just stories in general) are far more willing to make both heroes and villains beautiful than they are to feature more “ugly” characters… or in the case of a thousand beauty and the beast homages, they make their ugly heroes just ruggedly handsome monsterfolk who are treated as ugly because they have horns or fur.

Similar to how it seems so much easier to write a rebellious character when we culturally no longer or never did consider the standard they’re rebelling from to be desirable (like corsets)

[highfaelucien]

Nesta/Az/Cassian for the ship thingy???👀🥺 we were deprived of their domesticity in the House of Wind

Pairings done so far: Luzriel

send me a pairing and I’ll give you some headcanons

falls asleep on the couch

-Honestly all of them. Azriel frequently finds Cassian and Nesta slumped naked on the couch after they had sex and then fell asleep afterwards. He makes a very miffed comment about them having fun without him. Cassian opens up a wing to invite him to join them, while Nesta sleepily flips him off. He acknowledges this is Nesta speak for the same thing.

-Cassian can absolutely sleep anywhere. In any conditions. The couch is absolute the least weird place Az and Nesta have found him napping in the townhouse.

-Nesta is guilty of staying up reading a really good book and then passing out. When Cassian finds her he flips to the end of the book and reads loudly from it to wake her up (though he doesn't ACTUALLY do this because she WILL kill him for spoiling her. So he makes up his own ending). Azriel, who is polite, picks up her book, marks the page for her, and takes her to bed.

-Azriel passes out, less likely on the couch, more so on his desk, working himself until he literally fades into unconsciousness. Nesta will deadass return the favour and pick him up and take him to bed. Where she will then grumpily sit on him so that when he wakes up he finds a tiny angry fae sitting on his chest glowering at him threateningly and telling him it is time to SLEEP. Azriel is a smart man so he doesn't budge. Cassian will ALSO carry him to bed when he finds him because Mother knows he needs it.

-Occasionally Cassian also finds Nesta and Azriel fallen asleep together on the couch after reading the same book together and having a lil book club over it. He fakes a HUGE tantrum over this because how COULD you do this without me!? you KNOW snuggles are my favourite thing ever!?!!?!?!?!?

makes friends with the neighbors

Cassian. Absolutely. The second they move in. And he puts in all of the 'friend making effort'. Azriel is a painful introvert and does not want to do this, but he's polite so he hovers awkwardly beside Cassian as he happily introduces himself.

Nesta stays inside and unpacks doing "something actually useful" as she pointedly yells at Cassian.

Cassian takes advantage of her absence to spin a long and boastful story to the neighbours about his dear wife Nesta. When he met her she had been cursed to just be the most hideous looking creature in existence. And you might think she'd have a good personality to balance that out? The sweetness of an angel, the most incredible kindness and generosity. Well you'd be WRONG. She's a monster. But I was patient and majestic, and I took care of her and cured her curse and- oh hello sweetheart.

As Nesta marches out of the house and GLOWERS at him then frogmarches him back inside. The neighbours are quite sure they will never see him alive again. Azriel is left standing alone outside. Gives an awkward little nod and tells them if they need anything to just let them know. Then he melts back into the house to prevent a murder.

is the adventurous eater

Cassian will eat legitimately anything. And there are very few things he doesn't like? but the things he doesn't like he dislikes VERY VIOLENTLY. If you attempt to feed this man peanut butter he will make your life miserable forEVER. He also likes to experiment in the kitchen.

Nesta is very much. She likes what she likes and she has no interest in adding to that. She's perfectly happy. She will make the effort and try things that Cassian specifically makes because she knows it's important to him. but she goes into it like she's headed to the gallows each time and as long as she takes a little bit that's fine. Nesta doesn't like new things or change in her established existence.

Azriel has a very discerning palatte. He can subsist on soldier's rations. But he's absolutely the obnoxious foodie of the group, surprisingly so to people who don't know him. Cassian considers it a Great Personal Achievement if, when he puts the first mouthful of food into his mouth, Azriel smiles.

hogs the covers at night

NESTA. She sleeps in between the two Illyrians, and no-one have any idea HOW but every night she manages to cocoon herself in blankets. Cassian has described her, lovingly, as his "little rotisserie chicken" assuming that she just...rotates and pulls the blankets in around her with every turn. Cassian and Az doesn't really mind, they have wings, and body heat, and have slept in far worse places. It amuses them.

forgets to do the dishes

Nesta. Azriel and Cassian both have that 'hyper neat military discipline' thing and they both get antsy if their spaces aren't clean. On very rare occasions Az will sometimes leave like the occasional tea cup or plate lying around and Cassian will take that as a cue to go and check in on him because he must be really distracted/bothered by something for that to happen.

tries to surprise their partner more often

Cassian does the surprising. Most of them involve nakedness and rose petals. He also occasionally does ridiculous things like hiring a band to follow Nesta around the city all day and sing a song of how much he loves her. Buys an enormous teddy bear for Azriel so he has someone to hold him while Cassian is at the camps - because sweet Nesta won't (sweet Nesta elbows him)

Azriel does like big important anniversary/birthday and they're always incredibly intricately planned and thoughtful.

Nesta and Cassian both tag-team Azriel for special occasions and force him to take some time for himself and they just make him do all of his favourite things and it's Wholesome.

leaves dirty laundry on the floor

Nesta, mainly, because again Cassian and Azriel are neat freaks. However, Cassian will take credit for doing this when he's stripping one or both of his partners for sex.

stays up til 2 AM reading

All of them, actually. Cassian far less frequently than the other two. Az does this literally every day until Nesta legitimately picks him up and carries him to bed. Cassian assists by whipping the remaining report paper out of his hands as they come in. Azriel grumbles about them fussing over him like a pair of mother wyverns. Nesta pointedly tells him he needs it and Cass agrees.

Sometimes Azriel returns to the favour with Nesta. Or he TRIES to. But he approaches and she just raises a finger, without looking up, and growls at him. Cassian claps a hand on his shoulder and tells him to just let her finish her book. He doesn't want to have to start writing that eulogy just yet.

sings in the shower

Cassian sings very very loudly. It is not good. He does it anyway. And he dances. Even when he's joined in the shower by his partners.

Azriel sings, but only when he's alone. Or with Nesta. She is allowed to hear, but only if she sings with him. It's quiet, and beautiful, and one of their bonding moments.

takes the selfies

Cassian. Frequently. Nesta is very changeable. Sometimes she likes it and poses with him. Other times he just gets a palm in his face and a rude gesture.

Azriel always point blank refuses to have pictures taken.

plans date night

Azriel usually manages it, Nesta is his co-planner. They both like things ordered, and controlled, and to know what's happened.

They let Cassian plan once and never again. for the general of the Night Court armies he's fucking terrible at managing restaurant bookings.

[hareofhrair]

It’s not for one of my trolls but Ive been listening to Malfon’s playlist (one of the aliens from my fanventure Adjunct Anomaly) and thinking Heavy Blorbo Thoughts this morning. Rotating her in my mind like a rotisserie chicken.

I haven’t got to dive into any of their wild shit in the story yet so i can’t actually talk to anyone about why malfon drives me insane. He is the most character I’ve ever made and I’m obsessed. I’m rethinking my entire plot because I need to give her more opportunities to be evil. He’s beautiful and full of hate. She decided to burn the world to the ground for wronging her, did that, and THEN the story starts. What now, bitch!! What the hell are you supposed to do now!! There’s 18 songs on her playlist and 17 of them are other people’s feelings about him. Only one is from her perspective, and it only has four lines.

“Don’t ask about the shape I’m in- I can’t sing, I ain’t pretty and my legs are thin.

Don’t ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answers that you want me to.

When I talked to god I knew he’d understand. He said, Sit by me and I’ll be your god in hand.

But don’t ask me what I think of you, I might not give the answers that you want me to.”

No one understands why this makes me howl like a demon and i can’t explain it until the story is done!!!! Ahhgggggg

Oh majesty of deceit! You who would flush out poison with poison! Pale shadow of a dragon, stand on your pillar of sand and declare it is stone! And you, oh Viper of Vipers! Even you will believe!

if we’re friends/mutuals, please rb and tell me what ocs have been on ur mind lately, and a little about them in case im not familiar

bonus points if u give me hints on stuff youd love for them to be prodded about

[arteflame-blog]

Summer is about halfway through, and like most years, I’ve been grilling and smoking and cooking like crazy outdoors. I have more than a dozen different models in permanent rotation around my patio, from competition slow smokers to a Brazilian riodizio setup with rotating skewers (two, actually). I’ve written about grills, smokers and outdoor cooking for years, been to BBQ cooking camp, and am a certified competition BBQ judge, so I know a few things about the myriad different cooking devices out there, and this year I have been actively testing and retesting a few standout models that qualify as game changers. This week I am going to do follow ups based on repeatedly “test driving” these babies, and will showcase four different “must have” grills, in different categories, any of which could revolutionize your backyard kitchen.

In the first installment, I reviewed the Angara Maximus by iBBQ, a high-end outdoor table with gas grills built into it for communal cooking and dining, really one of a kind.

Today we check out Arteflame, another unique style of outdoor cooker that lends itself to communal fun and comradery. While the iBBQ table immediately becomes the centerpiece of a patio, the Arteflame will be the food and fun focal point of any backyard and is equally at home on a prepared surface or grass lawn (though for wood decks they recommend the taller base stands).

Earlier this year I included the Arteflame in a list of 5 Hot New Grills on the advice of legendary outdoor cooking and BBQ guru Steven Raichlen, who knows more about the subject than anyone. He sent me an email that read in part, “I’ve just acquired a terrific new grill called the Arteflame. It looks like a Claus Oldenburg sculpture. It functions like a wood burning grill and a plancha. It’s great for steak, fragile fish, veggies, and everything in between.” In my column I said I would get back to readers after getting my hands on one and thoroughly testing it, and thanks to the folks at Arteflame who have let me test drive one, that time is now.

A plancha is a cast iron slab that the Spanish (or Argentines, who call it a chapa) put on a wood or coal burning grill to cook small delicate times that don’t do well on grates, like scallops or asparagus. Raichlen explains how to use this on his BBQBible.com site where he calls the plancha “one of the best ways to marry the searing and crusting capabilities of a cast iron skillet with the intense heat and smoke flavor produced by your grill.” By the way, the host of the television show Project Smoke on PBS (and two previous grilling series) has written about 30 books on the subject, including the definitive tomes The BBQ Bible, BBQ USA, and Planet Barbecue.

This is the main 3-piece model, 40 inches in diameter with cooktop, bowl and choice of stand heights and styles.

The Arteflame is a modern take on the plancha concept, but a grill unto itself, rather than an accessory. It consists of three parts: a stand, a large bowl made of all-weather corten steel, and a very heavy donut-shaped disc cooktop about half an inch thick that looks flat but actually slopes a few degrees inwards from its edges so any oil or juices self-dispose into the center. It looks simple and rustic but is actually very highly and accurately machined from the best quality metals and made in Cincinnati. It comes in a variety of stand styles as well as more compact one-piece models integrating the bowl and stand.

Here's how it works: you build a fire in the bowl like a typical backyard firepit, except the top surface gets hot, like a griddle, and you cook on it. It gets hotter towards its inside edge, and is coolest at the outside edge, infinitely variable in between, so you can cook different things at different temperatures and move finished items to the outside to stay warm. It is incredibly versatile, and the Arteflame works really well for all-day parties as you can move something like sausages or hot dogs to the outside and leave them for long period of times for guests to take whenever they want. Because it’s essentially a griddle, it’s the only BBQ grill I have ever seen that you can make breakfast on easily without a pan or other accessories - you can fry eggs or make pancakes and cook bacon slices right on the surface.  You can cook chopped onions and peppers for sausages right next to the links, and it makes killer grilled cheese sandwiches, not usually associated with outdoor grilling. It’s also great for reheating, and the other day I put leftover pieces of BBQ chicken and ribs from the previous night’s smoking session on the grill to warm up, then pushed them to the outside edge and our visitors grazed all afternoon.

Breakfast on your backyard grill? Why not, steak and eggs has never looked better.

But that’s not all. The Arteflame also comes with a round laser cut grate insert that fits into the center hole of the doughnut griddle, so you can cook directly over live coals or wood like you would on any non-gas grill. Chefs have done oyster roasts, full breakfasts, clambakes and more. It's amazing. You can make steaks or burgers diner/teppanyaki style on the griddle, or live fire style on the grate. Or both. This is a really unique feature of the Arteflame. There has been a lot of talk in culinary circles lately about the reverse sear for steak lovers. It’s long been a given that resting steak after cooking is essential to prevent loss of precious juices, but some people don’t like the loss of heat in the seared exterior. The reverse sear technique is the solution, where you cook the steak most of the way first, then finish with searing and serve immediately, the opposite of what most steakhouses have been doing forever. The Arteflame is perfect for this, just cook your steaks more slowly wherever the temperature is right on the girdle, then finish them over the live flame and serve. For all these cooking styles, the variability of temperatures is really handy for serving groups where perfect timing is out of the question, gives you a lot of flexibility, and the round cooktop has a shocking amount of volume - I could easily cook for 30-40 or more people at once on it, as it holds a lot more than it looks.

There is also a one-piece model, the Arteflame One, which combines the stand and bowl and comes in three diameters - all perfect for cooking wings.

It can burn any kind of charcoal, wood or logs. I usually start natural charcoal by dumping on a chimney starter full of glowing coals, then after cooking, throw a bunch of firewood in and turn it into a blazing firepit. The carbon steel cooktop is deigned to work just like a cast iron pan, seasoned with oil and improving the more you use it. I followed the instructions and generously oiled it the first few times I heated it, and now I just scrape it after use and add a little more oil, and that’s it, no fuss, no muss, no metal brushes or washing, it can just sit out outside. After cooking you can scrape any debris right into the middle and the bowl burns itself nearly clean of ashes. The bowl has a drain hole in the bottom and can be left out year-round in any kind of weather, and also has a solid insert where the grate goes in case you live where it snows and want to keep it clear of snow inside for winter use. It is heavy enough that you won’t knock it over or worry about warping, yet light enough so that two people can move it pretty easily (three pieces total 335 pounds but can be moved separately).

It’s also beautiful, a lawn sculpture and firepit, so it does triple duty elevating the wow factor of your backyard, and long after the last bite is gone, you and your guests might still be sitting around it enjoying a roaring fire (it’s also really great for dessert s’mores). I love this thing, and having hosted a lot of friends this summer, it gets more positive comments, envy and accolades than any of the other fifteen or so grills I have on my property, and almost everyone who has visited wants one. It’s that good.

Chef at a golf club outing puts an Arteflame through its paces using both grill and griddle.

Weaknesses? The outer edge gets hot, so you have to be careful not to bump into it, especially with children or pets, though our dog and guest dogs have all seemed smart enough to sense the heat and stop. The stands come in two heights and I like the lower one more for stability and firepit flair, but this means a lot bending over during cooking and eventually a sore back. It requires more fuel than you think to heat the entire top, and adding fuel once it is going can be tricky without getting coal dust or debris on the cooktop or spraying up ashes. It’s pricier than you’d think looking at it, but given the incredible versatility and durability it offers, I think it’s worth every penny. Most people grill and bring food to their guests, this brings the guests to the grill and turns the middle of your lawn into a party.

The Arteflame One, the one-piece model, comes in 20, 30 and 40-inch diameters, from $850 - $2,150. But the main model is the three-piece design with 40-inch cooktop, the one I’ve been testing, and that runs $2,350-$2,450 depending on base style. They now make the plancha style cooktop as an insert designed to fit into Weber and Big Green Egg cookers and these are a great buy at $79-$99, adding the griddle capabilities to a cooker you already have.

There’s also a brand new stainless-steel rotisserie kit add-on option, complete with cordless battery, for $249 that adds yet another level of open fire cooking capability, but I haven’t tried that yet - maybe next year.

Part 3: A powerhouse grill for everyday cooking.

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[ganymedesclock]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “Beauty doesn’t have a one to one correlation with moral purity” is a very 101 basic concept people think they’re over in like fifth grade but it’s staggeringly insidious and omnipresent.

I’m talking about how in Sailor Moon, Usagi can have character dilemmas about being fat, and in the ghibli Earthsea movie, Therru can have backstory and character reactions about a disfiguring facial burn, and in the former you literally cannot see any part of Usagi’s body that’s even slightly thicker than any other character’s, and in the latter the disfiguring facial burn that characters react to with surprise and alarm is a faint pink patch under one eye.

I can talk about the visual difference between Jafar and the Sultan in disney’s Aladdin (the original animated version, I have not seen the live action remake)

I can talk about how half the point of Hans in Frozen is for once that we were given a villain that looks and talks like a disney prince classic, and how there was an immediate rush to look for (or write) his tragic backstory and what possibly led him to this, and when that’s done to Maleficent, the casting of Angelina Jolie also made her prettier than the original.

I can say this not as a finger-wagging scold of how all these works are morally impure, but rather, hoping to make a point about how deeply this is entrenched. How this threads in with stories where a villain’s behavior is motivated by their disability or disfigurement, or stories where said disability or disfigurement is their most prominent and talked-about trait, or where they “brought this upon themselves” because of their character flaws- Dr. Doom’s metal mask is directly narratively entwined with his cruel perfectionism and personal vanity.

I don’t think this means all of those characters and stories are bad. I’m not arguing that we must wipe clean every story that’s failed about this. But I think we should think about it, and I think it’s very important to ask questions if those stories also feature disabled or just plain honestly ugly heroes and neutral characters who aren’t depicted as tragically struggling with it like it’s a mark of evil. In the case of Jafar and the Sultan, they’re both old, but one of these people has aged into a comedy santa claus without any wrinkles that don’t make his jolly little cheeks look chubbier, while Jafar’s mouth is set in such deep lines they lend a striking, distinctive quality to his facial features.

And frankly, I feel like we can also talk about how deconstructions of this trope (or just stories in general) are far more willing to make both heroes and villains beautiful than they are to feature more “ugly” characters... or in the case of a thousand beauty and the beast homages, they make their ugly heroes just ruggedly handsome monsterfolk who are treated as ugly because they have horns or fur.

Similar to how it seems so much easier to write a rebellious character when we culturally no longer or never did consider the standard they’re rebelling from to be desirable (like corsets)