#rory was being human

[lightfromandromeda]

i wish wish wish wish sososo badly that moffat put in one of elevens early episodes the little bit that he put in the novelization of the day of the doctor, where eleven, freshly regenerated, wonders what the back of his head looks like and moves the hand mirror he's holding behind his head. he laughs at himself for a second and exclaims, "I'm an idiot!'

he knows how stupid he can look and act. hes known this.

and i love knowing this cuz he definitely uses that aspect of him to his advantage when he needs it. like the second doctor :) but i feel its easier for 11 cuz he looks for young

he literally goes from a bumbling sweet strange young man to "if you don't stop what you are doing i will tear down the very foundations of your precious little world before you can finish asking where you went wrong"

then back to bumbling idiot (?)

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: SEASON 3, EPISODE 2: HAUNTED LEG-TUMBLR IS HUNGIE AND KEEPS EATING MY POSTS

The Netflix synopses (synopseses? Synposi? Where are you, Jess Mariano? You're my only hope) made this episode seem like it was going to be heavily En-Crusty'd (Christopher focused) but then the lovely @frazzledsoul told me that in this episode Rory takes Christopher to school (metaphorically) and this is also the episode where Jess takes RORY down a peg in a GLORIOUS confrontation at Doose's Market. If there's one thing I love seeing in Gilmore GIrls it's a good peg lowering. In fact, it gives me such immense satisfaction to see Rory in particular get taken down a peg that the three times Dean does it to her are the only times I actually side with Dean. Let the Notch-Taking-Down Party commence. But first....Happy 18th birthday, Jess! You're legal, mister! I am solidly and forever in the Late August/ Early September Birthday Camp (I have my reasons) and we're already there on the show! It's been almost a year since he arrived in Stars Hollow as a 17 year old! I'm gonna make it easy and say it was September 1st.

Now you can visit the strip club, and buy porn and cigarettes legally! You're a man now! (well, at least you could buy cigarettes at 18 years old 20 years ago. It's 21 now). Episode begins with Emily still being predictably salty about last week's FND, where Lorelai snuck out of the house while her parents were fighting over her breakup with Crusty.

Don't listen to her. You do can do whatever you want, even while you're on the clock. My little shmushkins. My apple dumpling. My peach tart. My banana muffin. My jelly donut. You're gonna make a bazillion dollars with your books some day and show em all. *pinches his cheeks* Lorelai is coming down with an illness which I shall diagnose as mononucleosis (aka the kissing disease) that she contracted from making out with Dean Forrester.

Lorelai has no qualms about leaving the house to eat out every single day in a crowded diner and spread her germs all over town, instead of keeping her ass in bed, I guess. She's also incapable of purchasing and opening a can of soup and dumping it in a pot on the stove (or hell, even sticking it in the microwave) so she wakes up each day and chooses to be a Disease Vector. If she wasn't (presumably) still married to Luke in 2020 to cook her meals for her at home I don't know how she survived the pandemic. Luke: You know what helps a cold? A healthy immune system. You know how to get a healthy system? By not eating crap and blowing out your brain cells with coffee. Eat a vegetable now and then or some high fiber cereal. At least eat the carrots in the soup? Three minutes in and he's already Insulting Lorelai (while, uh, also insulting himself at the same time?) Whee, I'm loving this episode already! More Peg-Lowering, please! Several people on this show are going to be HUMBLED and I am HERE for it. But why is Luke always downselling food that he puts on his own menu? I know Lorelai and Rory don't ever pay him anyway, but doesn't he want to attempt to make some money? "My food will make you fat and sick and kill your brain cells. Don't eat it. Go eat somewhere else." Or is it that he's a-okay with poisoning the rest of Stars Hollow with copious amounts of junk food but wants to spare Lorelai and Rory the same fate? One would also suppose he doesn't actually have said vegetables or fiber rich cereal on his menu in the first place (it's a fucking diner) and that would mean Lorelai would have to pour herself her own cereal at home. Perish the thought. Is Luke secretly some kind of California Hipster in denial? Would he be more at home opening some kind of vegan cafe where he serves wheat grass shots and kombucha and avacado toast, you know, all the stuff Milo Ventimiglia eats. (But Milo’s a big junk food junky too, he's a bit of a paradox, that man). What does he feed Jess, by the way? In his first appearance he was planning to stuff his already neglected and malnourished nephew full of Corn Flakes and Pop Tarts.

Grandpa here is going to live to be 115 probably, but only if you shut up, you're already sending him to an early grave.

EVERYONE STOP EATING AND TALKING. THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED! Anyone else think its funny that Lorelai and Rory and Luke are ilke the mayors of Stars Hollow who know everything down to when the mailman's dog farts but nobody knows who Shane is, where she came from, who her family is, when she moved in, where she lives, how she ended up with Jess...ANYTHING? Nobody even seems to know her name? Silence from Miss Patty and Babette? Lane and Dean never informed Rory that Jess was never in school, that he supposedly pulled the fire alarm, stole 500 baseballs, etc etc. again, shouldn't Lane be absolutely losing her mind to spill this piping hot tea that Jess has been hooking up with some mysterious blond skankbag all summer? And Dean too, shouldn't he always be dying to tell Rory anything that would cast Jess in an unfavorable light and make her think less of him? What is with this town where they'll hold an emergency meeting because he drew on a sidewalk with some chalk but when he actually does something worth talking about, nobody wants to narc on him? They fear him, that's what it is. What is Shane's last name by the way? I made up a poll and asked you to decide on her last name and I'm currently awaiting the results, which I will use going forward.

Jess and Shane continue to give Rory Gilmore a sexual awakening so immense it could knock our fucking solar system out of alignment. That boom you just heard was Jupiter and Saturn crashing into one another from the sheer force of Rory Gilmore's quivering loins.

Tomatos Sign. I wonder how much money Jessica Kiper was paid to stick her tongue in Milo's mouth and say "Hey" and "Jess". Did she have to audition? I would do the job for free. I would keep screwing up just so the director could yell "Cut" and I could do as many takes as possible. Warner Brothers could own me for the rest of my life just for that opportunity.

Meow! All she did was say his name, lol. Someone's cranky. You know what would cure that bad mood? A good handjob from Shane (last name soon to be announced). This whole "no strings attached sexual gratification" deal that was seemingly dropped in his lap? Meh, whatever. He'll do it, but he'll be reading the entire time. Meanwhile, this is Dean waiting 5 years for Rory to put out:

(By the way, Mr. Mariano, don't ever tell a woman to "relax") Jess sighs and leaves in the middle of his shift (Lorelai should be proud), leaving his customers wondering where their pancakes are, to go have sex with Shane somewhere public and indecent, leaving Rory in their horny wake. Perhaps Jess has the intuition that the cold, clammy, looming hand of Celibacy (aka his own hand and a jumbo size bottle of lotion) will soon be upon him so he better seize these opportunities.

Love it when she says shit like this as if her boyfriend Dean Forrester is some fucking chatterbox (he'll grunt a few words as he's also a typical teenage boy like Jess and she'll go "That's So INTERESTING Dean! Do go on. I love you, little buttered croissant"), and also like she should actually expect Jess to talk around her when he knows she's going to pick on him even worse if he does have something to say.

Too late. That's hilarious- I forgot that Dean was about to show up just now and prove my point.

She's still wearing that stupid quarter on a string on her wrist. I will give this show credit for being very consistent with some of the small details like this. Every day for 2+ years straight, Alexis Bledel shows up at Wardrobe and they slap that thing on her wrist. That cup is HUGE.

Yeah. What? I could teach a comatose goldfish to say "I already ate breakfast." The hell is your point?

Oh god. It's that episode where Kirk and Lorelai go on a "Date". I do not remember how it goes but I'm gonna take a stab in the dark here and predict that it was sufficiently awkward. Honestly...Lorelai has done MUCH worse before and will continue to do much worse than Kirk. Mommy issues aside, Kirk has more redeeming qualities than Max or Crusty. Like, at least Kirk is ambitious. Lorelai is still only a few months removed from banging Crusty who wouldn't know the meaning of hard work if it bit him in the ass. I hope something bites Crusty in the ass. Like a rabid possum. Kirk...."Let's go out...In two weeks. I heard you have a cold. It takes two weeks for a virus to leave the immune system." He's also smart and would survive the pandemic. "You might be the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Outside of a filthy magazine."

It's the first day of senior year for Rory and our other Stars Hollow teens.

It's all downhill for Rory after high school.

Nobody tell her. L: I cannot go out with Kirk! R: Why not? L: He's Kirk! Poor Neurodivergent Kirk.

Fixed it.

i was about to say "What the what! Lorelai is actually pouring her own cereal?" but it's Rory wno's making her own breakfast and Lorelai is just pouring marshmallows into the bowl (who does that? That's not a thing. Here in The United States of America, there are already cereals that come with marshmallows). I mean, at least she's eating at home and "helping". Good for you for helping to feed to your chiild, Lorelai. Even if she's eschewing the (marginally) more healthy Raisin Bran in favor of Rice Krispies. I'm going to add a new feature to the ends of these posts: I call it: Things Googled While Watching GIlmore GIrls. Birthday Party Icons, How Old To Buy CIgarettes in Connecticut, Definition of Proclivities, How Many Words Can A Parrot Learn

[jennycalendar]

so the thing i am noticing as i continue to watch the river eps is that the problem i have with the melody pond plotline is not necessarily its fantastical improbability/ridiculousness, because doctor who has always been a show about making the fantastically improbable and ridiculous feel charming and wonderful, and also i am soooo biased i love melody pond soooo much That's Amy And Rory's Baby To Me! if anything, the fact that this is a series of absurd coincidences endear me to the notion more. but the thing is, with the information we're given about river pre-reveal, there is absolutely no way that anyone could possibly guess river's true identity.

prefacing that statement -- i did a cursory google search & moffat did seem to intimate in some interviews that he had the river stuff locked and loaded as early as s5! i do think that clocks, because river makes lots of references to killing the doctor, amy and river are absolutely a lot alike from the get-go, and the amelia pond -> river song thing is also a clear hint, but the foreshadowing outside of that is literally nothing, in what seems to be a preventative measure. that is not enough info to figure out that river is melody.

i feel like this is most clearly shown in let's kill hitler -- they handwave mels not being present at the wedding or mentioned in any prior episode, when we absolutely should have met her! honestly, mels should have been a character that we see in the eleventh hour (maybe even someone who either helps out here and there or refuses to), to the point where when amy and rory name melody, we know that it's for mels. we need her to feel like amy and rory's best friend from the moment that we meet amy and rory, rather than being introduced in the River Backstory Episode. mels could turn down traveling with the doctor for some unspecified reason, but she needs to be either someone he knows or someone that we have seen make an effort to make herself invisible. her showing up only when she has Narrative Relevance, when she should have been the clearest hint to who river is, was not a good plan, and it makes me upset, because 1) we miss out on mels, a wonderful and adorable and slightly murderous incarnation of river who i'd have loved to see more of, and 2) mels not being there means figuring out who melody is becomes that much more difficult, which really does support my theory that the focus was on Creating A Shocking Timey-Wimey Moment rather than a long-term investment in river's character :( and that, for me, is a bummer.

at the same time, tho, i'm kinda like -- so much of river's character really is defined by being a Woman Of Mystery! the hints can't come from her, obvs, because i think she would lose so much of what makes her her if she's at any point able to be deciphered by the doctor or the narrative. and i do think it's very on brand for river (who is made of masks) to absolutely shut all of her feelings down when interacting with younger versions of her parents. but we really, really, really needed more time with river. i think that's what i'm getting at. we needed more time with river within the show, very possibly through mels, for this to work effectively.

[alma-artts]

Rory Gilmore! loml <3

this is one of my favorite looks on her, I think she looks soo gorgeous in this episode and I just had to draw it

alma.artts on instagram for the progress video and more drawings :)

[emmafallsinlove]

remember how in s6 when colin or finn i don’t actually remember which one of them brought a girl from europe with them to the states and then they left her in the pool house to go partying when she didn’t even know where she is & knew the language? and there was this moment when it was just her and rory and then rory left her as well all by herself and followed logan & his friends to go partying??? god i hate logan and what that has become of rory when she was around him

[canisonicscrewyou]

I can make anything regarding the Ponds about Rory!Master AU I think. I’ve been clocking into my unending thought factory about the Master fobwatching and accidentally falling into the Doctor’s found family since like 2013.

[bayrut]

I may have made a mistake.....

[revindicatedbyhistory]

i think amy´s conclussion in the hotel episode would be more interesting if it was like. her own character development instead of something the doctor spoon feeds to her LMFAO

[strawberrytalia]

Wow Ragman 1991 was so good, you guys should all read it

[ofcowardiceandkings]

like if you examine the weird anti me-and-my-queer-friends-existing rhetoric, the more it comes down to people just being really fucking weird about kids in some way or another lol society is sick

[carbonateddelusion]

I'm NORMAL (thinking about the fruit dads/the poly boyfriends with Eddie bc I remembered the picture of Max screaming at Chuck)

[hoperays-song]

Gunter Babysits Review and Commentary

Time for the first shorts commentary! Is this an elaborate plan to distract me from my fic being with my beta reader? Yes! Am I using it for content? Welcome back to the madness!

(Shorts will be posted individually but only one part each. Sorry for the delay, some stuff for my school got bloody insane.)

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Jump scare Gunter within the first three seconds!

Is that a drawing of a human? It kinda looks like it. Probably isn't but looks like it.

Also, very curious to what's on this whiteboard.

All other phones in this series we see seem to be normal modern phones, so this was a choice by Gunter to have this one. Also, love the stickers and pig home button, it's really cute!

Awwwwww, he called himself uncle Gunter!!!!!!!!!

Rosita definitely designed this kitchen because the lights coming on slowly when off if you open the cabinet (to give your eyes time to adjust) is simply brilliant.

So we already saw inside this cabinet in Sing 1 and it had a ton of assorted stuff. Now, it is purely candy. This has to be like right after Halloween or something because why else would they have so much candy? Especially with really young kids.

... The horror movie music that starts playing here is correct. This is terrifying. Straight up. Just terrifying.

I worked as a babysitter and nanny for a bit... this is legit one of my worst nightmares. Gunter, I feel for you mate.

Ok, these kids got their mom's inventive brain but they also look like tiny little DnD villains while they're plotting. Honestly? Love that for them.

Two things! One, we get to see the recipes that are planned out for the family, all of which, kinda unsurprisingly, are vegetarian sounding. We have leeks and potatoes, eggplant burgers, and Mom's super soup! Plus a really cute drawing the kids made of their parents!

Two, those are groceries on the counter. Like, some of those look like bottles of stuff that seems like it should be kept cold. It almost makes me theorize that this wasn't a date night or anything like that (I know it's hinted to be, just throwing this theory out there) but instead some urgent family thing that would have pulled Rosita and Norman away, hence them needing a babysitter.

Ooooo, the phone has lights on the side, that's cool!

Ok, bonus points to Gunter for being able to stop a cabinet from falling while restrained because that would have seriously hurt those kids.

...Kids. Will. Try. To. Eat. Anything.

Also, Gunter's little grimace in response was just so fair. I've done that so many times mate.

Ok, what kinda phone is this?!?!?!?!?

Plus, love how all the kids were immediately afraid Gunter was going to call their mom the moment he got free. Terrifying Rosita confirmed.

Love this because it reminds me that Gunter canonically runs his own dance studio and likely teaches classes there.

Also, I have decided the kid on the counter to the right is Rory. No reason, just gives off Rory vibes.

Ok, but this is so accurate??? Like it is easy to convince kids to do things when you have music most of the time. They will just go with it.

Rosita and Norman were only gone from 7:30ish to 9:00 apparently. That is an incredibly short amount of time. Also means the kids were running absolutely insane for potentially close to an hour, so Gunter has my sympathies.

Rosita's kids really love space. Like not just their pjs but everywhere in their room. Bonus: stickers I was able to screenshot over their bunks.

The Alien Rosita Drawing Lurks Once More.

Gunter, I have a small feeling that as soon as those kids wake up and tell their mother, you will not be watching them next week.

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Overall, this was super cute. Gunter is already uncle Gunter to the kids so he was clearly incorporated into the family really quickly after the events of the first movie. Also, the piglets are pure and utter chaos and I love that.

[quietwingsinthesky]

it’s running concurrent to my headcanon that. well. the universe is so lacking in constants for the doctor, and if it’s after he’s experienced the loss of a companion, he’s not going to go have tea with someone else he once travelled with and had to leave behind.

it just makes sense to me, that he’d go seek out the master. especially if he’s barely restraining himself from making bad choices about breaking fixed points in time and causing paradoxes. and he’s right there, playing harold saxon for the world to see, and he’s right. there. the doctor can just go and see him whenever he wants.

[canisonicscrewyou]

Hi! This is what my version of Rory is doing when I go all blorbo-rotisserie on him: burning up the universe to save River from the Library. How would Master!Rory feel if he could see that? Would he help? Would he try to stop them? Would he let things play out and not intervene? (Imagining it as a parallel universe crossover thing like when we used to rp)

(This will very much end like that Tumblr post about "came back wrong" where River comes back exactly right but Rory (and Amy) have been so changed by the process)

Ohhhhhhhhggghhhhh first of all that is so good. That is so so good. Love the concept of Rory & Amy deciding that timelines and paradoxes and consequences can be damned because they want their fucking daughter back. (First you can’t have your baby because she got fucking kidnapped to be a. super soldier. Then you at least get to have a relationship with your adult daughter, who found you despite despite despite, and there’s some consolation in seeing how adult River turns out, and THEN you find out she sacrifices herself in the way where the Doctor does his whole ‘I cannot save this person’ thing. And it makes sense. It makes sense but also you’re both her parents and you know that she deserves better somehow, and maybe, for once, you both know better than the Doctor and the universe. Anyways.)

Anyways Darvill!Master. I imagine he has a lot of back-and-forth about River and what becomes of her and if he feels any ties to River Song at all, beyond being Rory Williams, at some point. (<- and the answer to that is, babes, if you’re thinking THAT hard about if you care about River, you care about River. I feel like in most case scenarios he knows better than to like. try to claim her as family to anyone but himself really. One of his personal mental torments.)(<- there is a side note about this related to the Fic that I have to tell you about. later.)

All to say he would help. He would so help, out of sheer curiosity alone that they were trying to do such a thing. He’d be in awe. He’d be so so delighted and invite himself along even if they wanted nothing to do with him. It’s not his universe, and he cares about the Ponds so much, so it feels a bit like personal fanfic that he doesn’t have as much stake in. (<- until he realizes he has a lot of stakes in it because he actually cares a lot about these three if, say, things started to go south.)

And then he would probably regret getting so directly involved because the idiot would get bitter sad feelings about this not being his own universe and, at least in his own mind and his own made up rules, not being able to actually interact with that River.

[saltpotion]

back on my monster theory bullshit lately