#roommate Jake Jensen

[bigtreefest]

Morning Mewl

Pairing: PhD Candidate! Curtis Everett x PhD Student! Reader

Summary: Curtis is nervous before his PhD defense

Word count: 866

Content/warnings: fluffy fluff fluff fluff (bc Curtis deserves it), kissing, sharing a bed, roommate and good friend Jake, best friend/mentee turned girlfriend reader, pet name usage (cookie, smart cookie, cooks), established relationship

A/N: Inspired partially by @biteofcherry in this post and what was written for @jamneuromain in this post. Shoutout for all my moots for Curtis encouragement and @thezombieprostitute for the constant praise at all hours. I hope you guys melt reading this along with me.

Takes place a couple years down the line once reader and Curtis are dating and in the same program, so there’s not a weird power imbalance.

Comments, likes, reblogs, and asks are so appreciated. Thank you for reading!!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist

You were used to the groans that came out of Curtis when waking up. Every morning, his broad form that was wrapped around your body creaked in the joints as he stretched, fighting the stiffness that would settle over him in the night.

This morning, you were woken up by a slightly different sound than the usual early morning deep breath and whine that signaled him waking. This was was more high-pitched…more of a…mewl?

You snickered lightly at the sound, ready to turn around in his hold and crack a joke to his face.

“That was an interesting one.” You softly giggled it out, mixed with the small rasp of your morning voice. When you finally opened your eyes, though, you were surprised to not see Curtis’s face at all.. it was hidden by a ball of fluff, a black and gray tabby cat curled up and now purring peacefully.

The same cat you had met years ago when Curtis had brought her in so the landlord didn’t find out. You struggled to hold in a fit of laughter, but weren’t sure what to do. From under the restful mound of fluff came the groan you had expected that morning.

“Jensen, come get the cat.” It was louder that your early morning ears expected, but somewhat muffled and still not enough for her to stir on his face.

Curtis’s roommate Jake came walking into the room, glasses thrown on haphazardly and hair messy from the early hour. Jake wasn’t in your program, he was actually studying CS, which was for the best and very helpful for how often your computer got overloaded. Curtis was glad to have a roommate who was in a different program from him, too. It was a nice break from the nonstop work, plus an opportunity to hear about another department’s drama. Sure, he and Jake didn’t have very similar sleeping schedules, but they got along well and were respectful of noise for the other.

Jake rubbed his eyes under his glasses, adjusting to the light that poured through the curtains of Curtis’s window. He laughed at the predicament Curtis found himself in “I swear she likes you more than she likes me. It’s not fair you get all the ladies around here.”

You laughed as Jake walked into the room towards Curtis’s side of the bed. “C’mere, Mav. Don’t scratch uncle Curtis. He didn’t like that last time.”

Jake gently scooped the cat off his face and she instantly clung to the fabric on the shoulder of his own graphic tee, snuggling against Jake’s shoulder. “Okay, I’ll keep her out of her out of your hair, or at least as much of it as you have, while you get ready. If I don’t see you before you leave, good luck today. I’ll be in the back of the lecture hall for your defense.”

He walked towards the door before turning around. “Oh! And by the way, I stopped by that breakfast place you like yesterday. Picked up some sandwiches for this morning’s brain food. All you and Cookie have to do is heat them up.”

You and Curtis had both shifted to sit up by now, and you watched a small, appreciative smile creep onto his face. “Thanks, Jensen, I’ll see you later, man.”

You twisted towards your boyfriend, finally seeing his full face for the first time that morning. “You hear that? He got us the good stuff. Free breakfast, Cooks.”

You shook your head and brushed your hand over the stubble on his cheek, freshly trimmed the past weekend so it was neat for Curtis’s PhD defense later this morning. “I’m not the smart cookie today. You are, future Dr. Everett. It has a good ring to it already.”

Your thumb traced over the freckles on his nose as he leaned into your touch, turning his head to place a kiss on your palm. His eyes sparkled back toward you with a hint of concern you’d rarely seen from the usually confident and secure man. “Not yet, though. Don’t wanna count my chickens before they hatch.”

Your other hand came up to frame his face and pull his forehead to yours. “Look at me. Today’s going to be great. You’re going to show everyone how smart you are and how hard you’ve worked and how there’s no one else who’s as deserving of this degree as you. And I’m going to be right there, cheering you on with your parents, without an ounce of doubt in your abilities.”

He relaxed in your hold, wrapping his one arm around your waist, the other settling on your thigh as his eyes fluttered shut. He sighed, absorbing the comfort of the moment before looking up at you through his eyelashes. “Promise?”

You leaned in to kiss him, slow and deep. An exhibit of love and faith and the deepest support that bloomed from friendship. You both pulled away with smiles on your faces before you saw his demeanor shift and lighten, his usual, determined game face taking over. He was ready for the day.

“I promise. Now let’s go eat that breakfast before Jensen changes his mind and steals it from us.”

Bonus A/N: Pls feel free to screech with me about soft! Curtis. He deserves all the credit and all the love.

[bigtreefest]

Oh Jakey you lil accidental voyeur🤭

(Um….also….of course you’re a friend. You sent me a gif first, bestie, and now I’ll never leave!!!!!!)

omg not me freaking out that i am part of the group that gets bait gifs! FRIENDS!!!!!!! i'm fine. i'm chill. don't leave me!

This took me a minute to figure out what I wanted Sir Dorksalot to have done that was sketchy enough to have him make this face...

Watch The Fish, Jake Jensen x reader headcanon wholeass fic in bullet format because my god this got long

Warnings for mentions of masturbation and porn, accidental then totally intentional voyeurism, awkward and oblivious!Jake--so just Jake, yeah?--and smutty implications...

🥹 roommates to lovers 😊

you rent a pretty large house maybe even with one or two others at first, but they move out

jake has to use it as a crashpad sometimes because he'll be away for so long at a time, but he pays rent and the entire electrical & internet bill no matter what

you keep a fish tank in the living room

after jake comes back from months in hiding abroad away, he gets so excited to be home and spend time with his niece that he hosts an after-game pizza party for her soccer team

someone practices headbutting the ball inside and nearly topples the tank

jake catches the whole thing with his broad arm-span and a decent amount of strength just in time when it wobbles the whole table beneath it. his heart nearly stopped, and he's so grateful the glass didn't break. thank god you weren't home.

however, you insist on moving the fish to your room instead once he tells you.

jake's a little sad to see them go. he pouts so much you decide to take pity on him, buying a web cam to mount beside the tank so jake can watch them whenever he wants. he loves to do voices for each one, personalities, soap-opera-like dramatic storylines, the works

as an aside you ask him if the sound can be turned off on the camera. jake says yeah but he mostly means he can turn it to mute on his computer.

which he does, for the record, but he has to remember to do it each time he pulls up the feed of da fishies. honestly, half the time he's wearing headphones and the other half you aren't home while he puts the Marauders (because there's just one fat one) onto his third monitor for background.

so he forgets that the sound is on and a thing he might need to avoid

weeks later, maybe months, jake finally removes his headphones after a very long stint of coding, completely unaware of what time it is and that you are home in your room

at first, jake is dead convinced that some porn ad has popped up in a window behind his work, something he would go apeshit about and ransomware bomb the shit out of whoever wrote such slippery spam

the fish are peaceful as ever, blooping away whilst jake frantically closes program after program trying to find the hot chick moaning on his desktop...until it's all closed and the buzzing remains though his tower's fan stopped...then the squelching noise starts

jake is frozen in place, looking away from the fish like they're the damn problem, but he doesn't cut the feed

he...he shouldn't

he should turn it off or just mute it like he promised

and he tries

he tries really hard, gang

it's the cursor's fault that it hits the command to send the audio to his bluetooth headphones instead of mute

and he sets the headphones down on the keyboard, gnawing on his bottom lip and watching his closed bedroom door in anticipation of...getting caught, maybe? he's not sure

he watches the fish putter around like it's no big deal

which it isn't, right?

you're human. he's human. humans have urges. they touch themselves--they touch each other, too--and there's no harm in that. if anything...jake encourages it, or he would...if you knew that he knew about this

the noises are so faint from the itty bitty speakers two feet from his face, but he doesn't pick them up, still debating what to do

because there's a big difference between what jake should do in this situation and what he wants to do

he mutes audio and then cuts off the livestream

at least, that's what he did the first time it happened

he knows he's a perv. jake can't help it.

it becomes a game of sorts. it's like practice recon for learning a target's routine. not that jake needs practice at the job he already fucking has but that's how his brain justifies laying on his own bed in the glow of the fish tank feed with his headphones turned way up

he knows your bed is on the other side of your room from when he moved the fish tank in

he knows what your underwear look like from the laundry room downstairs

he knows what you smell like from the shared bathroom and the products lining your shelf

he now knows there's a bottle of toy cleaner in one of your sink drawers

and he shouldn't but he absolutely touches himself listening to you, fists himself when you're fucking a toy he imagines six-shapes-to-Sunday, teases himself when all you're doing is breathing softly from across the whole house and he's cold and covered in cum by the end

to be fair, jake hates himself because of all this, but he is now mildly addicted

he doesn't even exit out of the livestream anymore. it just stays up on his monitor like a screensaver, but he doesn't realize that once he takes his headphones out of range, the audio transfers to his speakers again

so jake goes on a mission for a few days, and at some point while you are cleaning up your room, playing music, you find two pairs of jake's socks in your load of clean laundry and go to toss them in his room...where the same music you're listening to way down the hall is playing...in sync...

you're horrified and then embarrassed and then quickly realized it might mean nothing

you have to test if it means something

jake returns from his mission on complete autopilot

just so damn tired

throws down his duffle on top of some socks he doesn't remember leaving out and just hits the shower for a long, long time

he hasn't talked to you yet

he hasn't even seen you except your car is home and your door is shut

he goes about his business

the volume on his speakers isn't high but he hears you speaking and assumes you're on the phone

he pays it no mind. he is glad to be home, glad you're fine since he's just been in a part of the world where most people are not safe.

in a weird sort of way, he feels he's earned the mundane sort of comfort that comes from "the same ol'" of this house

he's wiped out, so he crawls into bed with his headphones immediately, hair barely toweled dry, not bothering with boxers because...why make more laundry?

and then the worst thing happens

there's a man's voice coming through his headphones, and jake scowls in frustration and rage

did you go and get a fucking boyfriend? in a couple of days? or goddamnit is this some tinder shit in his home right now?

but it only gets worse

he can hardly contain himself, what with the gagging sounds and this dude telling you to take it like the whore you are, and JAKE WILL LITERALLY BURN THIS PLACE DOWN

now his ass is putting on clothes

now his ass is ready to riot

the sex gets more and more degrading; spanking noises and even choking, but not in a seemingly consensual way, which is when jake rips his headphones off, storms down the hall and barrels straight through your bedroom door

where...you...aren't

no one is. no you. no man.

just your laptop sitting on your desk near the fish tank, playing the money shot of a porn video he was just listening to

get the fuck out. get out. get out. his brain screams, and he bolts

he makes it three feet before stopping short

you're standing at the top of the stairs, a bowl of ice cream in hand, licking the spoon unbelievably slowly with your whole tongue

you're fucked. you're fucked. you're fucked. his brain adds helpfully.

"hey, jakey," you say with a smile. "whatcha doing?"

A/N: this cat is officially my reaction to pretty much everything because...well...it's very accurate.

[Main Masterlist; Jake Jensen Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[navybrat817]

Navy's Naughty & Nice Nonsense

Have you lovelies been naughty or nice this year? Maybe a bit of both? Have no fear! There's a little something for everyone on my masterlist this year!

I have 10 short one-shots, all over 1k, ready to share with you. Each pairing will be revealed on the day I post. There are some familiar faces and maybe a surprise or two. There is no rhyme or reason or theme for the fics. They are not beta read. It's nonsense! 😂

In fact, I'm calling it Navy's Naughty & Nice Nonsense! I'll be using that as a tag, so feel free to filter if you don't wish to see these fics. Thanks to @rookthorne for the gorgeous banner! Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics. Enjoy! 💙

😈 - All Tied Up - Motocross!Jake Jensen x Reader

😇 - Break Check - Motocross!Bucky Barnes x Reader

😈 - Put on a Show - Nick Fowler x Reader, surprise guest

😇 - A Phone Call Away - Motocross!Ari Levinson x Reader

😈 - Still Get Jealous - Rocker!Bucky Barnes x Reader

😇 - First Date - Steve Rogers x Reader

😈 - Picture Perfect - Motocross!Hal Carter x Reader

😇 - What's Yours is Mine - Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Reader

😈 - Over the Hood - Mechanic!Destroyer!Chris x Reader

😇 - A Sunny Outlook - Tattoo Artist!Andy Barber x Reader

Love and thanks to you lovelies for making this a special year. 💙

[rogerswifesblog-updates]

Together Or Not At All

Masterlist

summary: Your first day with your new roommates.

A/N: This is a first of many drabbles about how living with these chaotic boys will look like. It’s a story written by us together with @jamneuromain

Check the masterlist of Together Or Not At All!

First meeting/moving in;

Johnny being the flirt he is, flirts with you as soon as you walk through the door. You were slightly surprised by this…greeting since the human torch was only in a towel, clearly just having showered, his hair was still dripping slightly while you could make out steam surrounding his body. You felt like you just swallowed your own tongue, watching him approach you. Being unable to meet his gaze you tried to stutter something coherent out. “Hi-yhm-I-“ “I’m Johnny, pleasure to meet you sweetheart”, he grinned, but Jake quickly interfered, seeing as you were already on Johnny's radar. He swatted him across the back of his head, stepping between you two, even though your gaze lingered for a moment on Johnny's steamy body.“Hi I’m Jake-my room is right next to yours. Let me help you with your suitcase…es? How many do you have”, he mumbled quietly, looking behind you at the luggage you were dragging with you. A soft giggle escaped your lips, while you shook his hand introducing yourself. For a moment you looked into his pretty blue eyes, this time it wasn’t you who tried to avoid eye contact. Jake was flustered, even though he tried not to show it. “Just a few”, with that you grabbed one of the suitcases. Jake grabbed the other one you were reaching for and swatting your hand away. “Let me, you don’t have to. Not when we’re around”, he smiled and took another one in his other hand. Johnny wanted to help with the last suitcase but he was scared his towel would fall, quietly cursing to himself. Just when you wanted to come back for the last one, it slowly started rolling to your room. “What-“, gasping as you looked around, seeing another guy standing at the end of the corridor, an unsure smile on his lips. He didn’t say anything, just waved at you, before disappearing around the corner. The corners of your mouth twitched upwards, watching him walk away. “Oh, yeah that’s Nick. He’s a bit shy, but really a nice guy…unless he and Johnny are in the same room. Then it gets chaotic”, Jake smiled, putting his hand on your shoulder for a moment. He felt blood rush to his cheeks, making him blush, before quickly pulling away. “So-yeah, I-I’ll be in my room. It was nice helping you-I mean, meeting you. It was nice meeting you”, with that he walked into his room, shaking his head about himself. Of course he had to say something stupid.

Not even an hour later was a quiet and gentle knock on your door. You assumed it could be Jake since his room was next to yours and johnny definitely didn’t seem like a person that even knew what knocking or personal space was. And nick…nick definitely wouldn’t come to you. He was definitely a shy person.

“Come in”, you said cheerfully, putting away your clothes in the wardrobe. “Hi, I wanted to introduce myself, I’m Steve”, said a raspy deep voice. Definitely not Jake. After you turned around your smile widened. Oh wow, these guys all looked like tasty eye candy. Steve was buff. Definitely more muscular than the rest of them. Did he even fit in the doorframe?

“Hi Steve, nice to meet you”, you said, letting your gaze linger on his hands that were casually holding onto his belt, while he leaned against your doorframe. “I thought we could maybe have dinner tonight-I mean all of us”, he added quickly, feeling his face heat up. You giggled, nodding. “Perfect. But maybe Johnny should wear some real clothes this time”, at your words Steve sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. “Yeah I’ll talk to him. He’s just…to be honest I don’t even know. It’s Johnny. He’s always like that”, his words made you laugh and he definitely really enjoyed hearing this sound. “Seven good for you?” You nodded once again, watching the man leave your room.

On time you went to the dining room, where Steve was currently bringing a ton of take out, putting it all on the table. You laughed quietly. “I’m not a good cook, none of us are, actually…so it’s take out. I hope you don’t mind?”, he said apologetically. Grinning you grabbed a fry out of one of the containers, biting into it. The only answer Steve got was a smirk and wink, making his insides tingle. God, you were only a few hours here and he already felt like he was developing a crush on you. You didn’t seem to notice his gaze, sitting down next to him, with another empty chair next to you. Oh boy. He could tell this wouldn’t end well.

And he was right.

Only a few minutes later he could hear heavy steps and bickering, also some grunting which was probably caused from an elbow to the ribs. “Johnny you idiot-stop it”, Jake's hushed voice was louder than intended, while the two walked into the room, quickly trying to grab the chair next to you. You didn’t say anything, but giggled into your hand. It’s already pretty funny and chaotic living with them. After just a few hours…the next few months are probably gonna be interesting. “Johnny, Jake. Both of you, the other side”, said Steve finally before they’d really embarrass themselves by pulling at the chair…or with whatever else they’d come up with. He was definitely surprised how immature these guys could be. Thankfully Nick was such a quiet and calm guy (spoiler alert; it will change.)

When nick came into the room he sat down next to you, giving you a quick smile, before starting eating, while you all had a few light conversations. He didn’t say much and you also noticed he ate pretty quickly. Only a few minutes later he finished his food, saying his goodbyes and going straight to his room. “We have dessert nick-“, Steve tried to change his mind but he was already gone. You couldn’t stop yourself from wincing slightly. Was he uncomfortable around you? “Don’t worry, he’s just…he had it rough, you know? So he kinda…”, Steve sighed beside you, gently putting his hand onto your arm. “He spends most of his time in his room”, added Jake, while Johnny nodded. You could feel your heart ache.

Grabbing two plates with cake, you smiled at the boys. “It was really nice but I’ll try to talk to him. Maybe he just needs for someone to take the first step”, they all watched you walk out of the room.

And they definitely enjoyed it.

You knocked on Nick's door. “Please Steve-I said I don’t-“ “And if it’s not Steve?”, you asked unsure, opening his door and stepping inside. Hearing your voice nick quickly stood up. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to leave like that-””Don’t worry nick. We all like our personal space…I just thought you’d like your cake-Johnny kinda looked at it like a predator looking at his prey, so I assumed you wouldn’t be able to get a taste of it later”, you giggled, trying to lighten the mood. It really made him chuckle, while you gave him his plate. For a moment you two were quiet, just looking at each other. Assuming he doesn’t want you to be there you grabbed the door handle. Just then did Nick clear his throat. “Stay-I mean, if…if you’d like to…I wouldn’t mind the company”, with that you two sat down on his bed. The atmosphere was still a bit tense, so you started talking about some embarrassing old memories to make him laugh-and you did. By the time you are your cakes Nick had to wipe away his tears from the laughing and his stomach hurt.

Thank you for reading!! We hope you liked it. Please leave some feedback

Questions? Drabble ideas? Headcanons? Want to talk about the au(or just in general)? -> inbox!! <3

[onsunnyside]

The only stalker that matters is incel!Jake Jensen. Or maybe Freezy that drives really slow by your house in his ice cream trunk, then your ass goes missing and he fucks you in his basement while he forces you to watch news coverage on your disappearance. In the 70s, ofc. Never should've worn those Daisy Dukes outside the house. But incel!Jake is a gem. Imagine him being your roommate. Like, what does he do in your room when you're gone ?? Does he eavesdrop and seethe when you bring men home ??? Does he sabotage your relationships ????

So fulla thots today, Sonny. 🌝

AHH YES GIMME ALL THE THOTS BESTIE 🌚 soft dark/dark thots below

let me save that freezy thot for the future 🫣 bc him grabbing your face and forcing you to watch your loved ones beg for your safe return all while he's balls deep, rearranging your guts, "aw, look how bad they miss you, baby. They're so sad, so desperate—and you're creaming all over my fuckin' cock again."

you don't know it but roommate!jake is a terrible man and a disgusting perv: he fucks with all of your dating apps so you don't get many messages. a few slip through 🫡 and despite his efforts, one date turns into two, then three, and soon this guy is sleeping in your bed and cooking you breakfast. and it isn't hard to find shit on your current boyfriend: so he blackmails them, or if he'll have you 'miraculously' find the dirt and dump them yourself 😳 but that's okay bc jake is always there to comfort you, hold you in his arms until the sedative kicks in so he can do an inspection of your body to make sure that asshole didn't do anything to sweet little you

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

sugar & spice 101

an intro to the au

here is a comprehensive little breakdown of this AU and its main characters.

series masterlist | masterlist | join my taglist 

Y/n Y/l/n

student at whitlock college | history major

camgirl (later pornstar), under the name Cherry Blossom (UrLittleCherry)

lives in a house off campus with roommates: Steve, Bucky and Curtis

last song listened to on spotify: my hair by Ariana Grande

Steve Rogers

student at whitlock college | fine arts major | on a football scholarship | whitlock college football team

lives in a house off campus with roommates: Y/n, Bucky and Curtis

one of Y/n's friends with benefits

username in Y/n's chat: Like1OfUrFrenchGrls

last song listened to on spotify: little green by Joni Mitchell

James 'Bucky' Barnes

student at whitlock college | sociology major | whitlock college football team

lives in a house off campus with roommates: Steve, Y/n and Curtis

one of Y/n's friends with benefits

username in Y/n's chat: WinterIsCumming

last song listened to on spotify: make out in my car by Sufjan Stevens

Curtis Everett

student at whitlock college | psychology major

lives in a house off campus with roommates: Steve, Bucky and Y/n

one of Y/n's friends with benefits

username in Y/n's chat: Yours4Everett

last song listened to on spotify: crimson and clover by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Hugh Ransom Drysdale

student at whitlock college | business major | member of delta phi | whitlock college football team

Y/n's ex-boyfriend

username in Y/n's chat: TittyCokeKingXXX

last song listened to on spotify: mount everest by Labrinth

Ari Levinson

pornstar, but doesn't change his name

username in Y/n's chat: Ari_Lev_Official

real life pornstar doppelgängers just for the vibes: James Deen or Small Hands

last song listened to on spotify: man in the long black coat by Bob Dylan, cover by The Proper Way and Carrie Myers

Nick Fowler

pornstar, under the name Nicky Night

username in Y/n's chat: NickyNight

real life pornstar doppelgängers just for the vibes: Manuel Ferrara or Mickey Mod

last song listened to on spotify: supermodel by Måneskin

Lloyd Hansen

pornstar, under the name Lloyd™

username in Y/n's chat: MrHansen

real life pornstar doppelgängers just for the vibes: Xander Corvus or Johnny Sins

last song listened to on spotify: sweetest pie by Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa

Lee Bodecker

pornstar, under the name Lee Longly

username in Y/n's chat: SurferShlong

real life pornstar doppelgängers just for the vibes: Tommy Pistol or Charles Dera

last song listened to on spotify: love grows (where my rosemary goes) by Edison Lighthouse

Andy Barber

divorced dilf

next door neighbour to Y/n, Steve, Bucky and Curtis

username in Y/n's chat: A_B_Cunt_Destroyer

last song listened to on spotify: sweet by Cigarettes After Sex

list of porn studios we'll bump into in this au:

Stark Sins (ceo: Tony Stark. vibe similar to pure taboo or missax)

Romanoff Productions (ceo: Natasha Romanoff. vibe similar to kink or new sensations)

Scarlet Films (ceo: Wanda Maximoff. vibe similar to bellesa or deeper)

Comet Pictures (ceo: Carol Danvers. vibe similar to erika lust or adult time)

Smash Studios (ceo: Bruce Banner. vibe similar to brazzers or bangbros)

other regulars who follow Y/n:

Cream314159 (Frank Adler)

TearinYoBootyUp (Jake Jensen)

DrownByPussy (Cole Turner)

Cum4Ride (Johnny Storm)

Ddadddy6969

KlassyKinky

8inchStallion 

Call_Me_Sir_844

BootyLover47

BongDong420

DirtyTommy69

KyleKyleson (....yes that is a sims joke)

Carl123456

Bby_Grls_Dom

NastyBoi

ItsBradBtch

729AlwaysHard

TheFrogo

UrPervyDaddy398

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[hansensgirl]

❆ 𝑭.𝑯: 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑲 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑪𝑬𝑷𝑻𝑺 (𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑)

psstt! — minors, do not interact! 18+ only, just like my blog. do not plagiarize, copy, translate, repost, copy or recreate my writing on any other public platforms. heed the warnings, and remember you are responsible for your media consumption.

info. — in honour of the holiday season, mr. hansen has decided to open requests! how kind is he? they will be posted in the next week or so, and will be written by me (sab). if you ask nicely, the man himself will even make an appearance!

format. — the requests will be submitted to this form. you will select one character, one AU (if desired), one dialogue prompt, and one kink/key element. all concepts will be dark, no matter what. there is an option for you to leave your username so i can tag you when i post your request. you may always remain anonymous. all prompts were created by me, please don’t use them without my permission.

time. — concepts will be written and posted as fast as possible. by january 7th, 2024, they should all be completed. please bear with me, as i can be quite a slow writer. thank you for your patience.

note. — concepts that are bolded and have three asterisks (***) will be turned into full fics. the list can be found under the ‘read more’ cut, along with all the drabbles i’ve posted.

the form is now closed. thank you for all the submissions! requests will be posted in the next two weeks.

show mr. hansen your gratitude by sending a request! isn't he such a sweet man?

NAVIGATION. ❆ @hansensfics. ❆ NEON PALM.

Andy Barber + Yandere + “Think an old man like me can keep up?” + conditioning/grooming.

Andy Barber + Roommate/Tenant + “Isn’t it beautiful? Bullet proof, too.” + dumbification.

Andy Barber + Bookstore + “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” + kidnapping.

Natasha Romanoff + Neighbours + “I’ll always love you, even if you don’t feel that way. But you will.” + sex pollen.

Johnny Storm + Sugar Daddy + “The night’s still young.” + obsession.

Jake Jensen + Step-brother + “C’mere. I can’t see you from all the way over there.” + thigh riding.

Steve Rogers + Stepfather + “Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be playing this game?” + face-sitting.

Natasha Romanoff + Mob boss + “I think I like you better when you’re gagged and crying on my dick.” + humiliation.

Steve Rogers + Boyfriend’s dad + “You’re so cute when you’re struggling like that.” + cum-play.

Lloyd Hansen + Yandere + “I’ll always love you, even if you don’t feel that way. But you will.” + sir kink.

Ari Levinson + Dad’s best friend + “I dreamt of you last night. Every night.” + daddy kink.

Andy Barber + Professor + “You want something from me? You gotta ask nicely.” + abuse of power.

Andy Barber + Dad’s best friend + “I just want to take care of you.” + daddy kink.

Steve Rogers + no AU + “Don’t be a brat.” + manhandling.

Lloyd Hansen + Sugar Daddy + “Merry fucking Christmas, princess.” + captivity.

Steve Rogers + Mob boss + “I just want to take care of you.” + stockholm syndrome.

Curtis Everett + Boxer + “C’mere. I can’t see you from all the way over there.” + dom/sub.

Lloyd Hansen + No AU + “Merry fucking Christmas, princess.” + daddy kink.

Lloyd Hansen + Sugar Daddy + “That’s no way to speak to your future husband.” + daddy kink.

Robert Pronge/Mr. Freezy + Amnesia + “Don’t you love it when I touch you like this?” + stockholm syndrome.

Pete Brenner + Camgirl + “I can’t help it, I love you too much.” + dumbification.

Lloyd Hansen + Mob boss + “I love hearing you beg. You’re much sweeter that way.” + pet play.

Lloyd Hansen + Mob/mafia + “You have no idea what you do to a man like me.” + overstimulation.

Andy Barber + Boyfriend’s dad + “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” + cheating.

Ransom Drysdale + Step-brother + “Don’t you love it when I touch you like this?” + innocence.

Steve Rogers + Yandere + “You know what I hate more than broken promises? Liars.” + kidnapping.***

Pete Brenner + Camboy + “You ask too many questions. Just relax.” + drugging.

Lloyd Hansen + Maid + “Where do you think you’re going?” + abuse of power.

Johnny Storm + College/University + “I thought you hated me.” + stalking.

Ari Levinson + Stepfather + “Don’t be a brat.” + vaginal sex.

Steve Rogers + Fake Marriage + “What did you just say?” + sex pollen.***

Jake Jensen + Neighbour + “I had to—you gave me no other option.” + obsession.

Lloyd Hansen + Sugar Daddy + “Isn’t this so pretty? It reminded me of you.” + daddy kink.

Lloyd Hansen + Neighbour + “The least you could do is be grateful.” + humiliation.

Ransom Drysdale + Yandere + “Merry fucking Christmas, princess.” + captivity.

Ari Levinson + Soulmate + “Don’t fight me. You’ll only make it worse for yourself.” + overstimulation.

Steve Rogers + Boyfriend’s dad + “You have no idea what you do to a man like me.” + cheating.

Natasha Romanoff + Camgirl + “C’mere. I can’t see you from all the way over there.” + scissoring.

Ransom Drysdale + Step-brother + “You ask too many questions. Just relax.” + drugging.

Ari Levinson + Dad’s best friend + “You ask too many questions. Just relax.” + corruption.

Andy Barber + Dad’s best friend + “Can’t you see I’m trying?” + cum-marking.

Ari Levinson + Mob boss + “You want something from me? You gotta ask nicely.” + innocence.***

Robert Pronge/Mr. Freezy + Neighbour + “The least you could do is be grateful.” + drugging.

Steve Rogers + Mob boss + “You ask too many questions. Just relax.” + corruption.

Ari Levinson + Camboy + “Isn’t this so pretty? It reminded me of you.” + innocence.

Lloyd Hansen + Boyfriend’s dad + “I think I like you better when you’re gagged and crying on my dick.” + creampie.

Natasha Romanoff + Yandere + “You’re so cute when you’re struggling like that.” + mommy kink.

Natasha Romanoff + Boyfriend’s mom + “You’re shaking so much, honey… Just wait until I get my tongue on you.” + obsession.

Lloyd Hansen + no AU + “Where do you think you’re going?” + pet play.

Natasha Romanoff + CEO + “Go on. Let’s see how far you’ll make it.” + mommy kink.

Natasha Romanoff + Sugar Mommy + “You want something from me? You gotta ask nicely.” + begging.

Lloyd Hansen + Mob boss + “You have no idea what you do to a man like me.” + choking.

Ransom Drysdale + Sugar Daddy + “You’re so cute when you’re struggling like that.” + abuse of power.

Ari Levinson + Amnesia + “Take you home? This is home. You aren’t going anywhere.” + obsession.

Natasha Romanoff + Dad’s best friend + “You have no idea what you do to a woman like me.” + creampie.

Curtis Everett + Mob + “Don’t be a brat.” + squirting.

Andy Barber + Mob/Mafia + “Take you home? This is home. You aren’t going anywhere.” + stockholm syndrome.

Ransom Drysdale + Soulmate + “That’s no way to talk to your future husband.” + captivity.

Andy Barber + Professor + “Take you home? This is home. You aren’t going anywhere.” + finger-sucking.

Lloyd Hansen + Boss + “Aw, are you gonna cry?” + overstimulation.

[buckys-wintersoldier]

🎃 Trick or Treat 🎃

Usually there aren’t many people who join those things here, but I just try it again, because I’m in a mood to do so. The rules are below the prompts. Dividers are made by me.

It’s spooky season — that means you can either get a trick or a treat. Soooo…

If you’re brave enough… you’re going to knock at the house that’s at the edge of the village. They say it belongs to the witch/werewolf/vampire. Lots of stories are told about the people who may live there but only a few are brave enough to actually knock at their door…

What kind of creature is living in the house?

Witch/Wizard

Werewolf

Vampire

Demon

Angel

Alien

Mermaid

Human

Whatever else you can think about?

Who is the creature?

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers

Ari Levinson

Max Burnett

Lloyd Hansen

Steve Kemp

Random Drysdale

Lee Bodecker

Jake Jensen

Nick Fowler

Loki Laufeyson

Logan Howlet/Wolverine

Tony Stark

Someone else…?

Do you get a trick or a treat?

Trick (dark and/or angst)

Treat (fluff and/or smut)

Or are you greedy/are they nice and you get both?

You look at them and notice they are…

Soulmates

Best friends to lovers

Strangers to lovers

Ex’s to lovers

Dads best friend

Boyfriends dad

Mob/Mafia

Alpha/Omega

Sex worker

Teacher

Roommates

Stepcest

Royalty

Farmer

Bodyguard

What ever they could be when you see them?

What do they say when you open the door?

“Thought you can walk in here without consequences?”

“You want more? Better get to work and beg.”

“I thought you will never say it.”

“You’re pretty like that.”

“Couldn’t imagine any other way.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re no better.”

“Special? You’re nothing more but a toy.”

“I don’t make love. I fuck.”

“I never felt that way for anyone, ever before.”

“Maybe you didn’t notice. But I fucking love you.”

“Spread them. Further.”

“There you go. Doing so good for me.”

“I love you, if you want me or not. I can’t and won’t change my feelings for you.”

“That’s what you want? Greedy little thing.”

“You should have listened when I said ‘go home’.”

“You’re mine. It’s all fucking mine.”

“I never thought you would feel the same way.”

“It’s not like I don’t want to. I’m just scared.”

“You can’t break my heart, it’s already shattered since he left.”

“Forever is a long time.” “As long as it’s with you.”

Rules:

You can join and write yourself or send in a request

Please be nice, comment and reblog -> it supports and motives a whole lot

If you join:

Put a read more of you write more than 500 words

You don’t have to choose one of everything, feel free to mix them in whatever way and kind you want

Please tag me @buck-star and #sydneyshalloweentt

Feel free to write smut, fluff, angst, dark, a mix of everything

You can write reader insert or character x character whatever you want to write for

It’s going until the end of November because why not some Halloween mood until we can go into Christmas mood

Anything else? Have fun. If you have questions feel free to ask

Some people who might be interested or at least brave enough to knock at the door of the (whoever you choose) house:

@holylulusworld @thevillainswhore @elixirfromthestars @navybrat817 @buckgasms @bigtreefest @highonmarvel @julvrs @jiyascepter @lanabuckybarnes @multiversefanfics @ronearoundblindly @whitexwolfxx310 @whatever-lmaoo @sergeantbarnessdoll @mercurial-chuckles @steviebbboi @flowersforbucky @brunchable @aquaticmercy @nickfowlerrr @lives-in-midgard @cevansbrat0007 @witchywithwhiskey

[holylulusworld]

Another bad date

Written for the lovely @bigtreefest's Summer Lovin’ 300 Follower Celebration. Congratulations again!

I chose the prompt/trope: friends to lovers + “here, you can share with me”

Square filled for @julybreakbingo: Square 4: “I want to be that….,” “You already are.”

Pairing: Jake Jensen x fem!Reader

Warnings: bad date, fluff, sweet Jake, idiots in love, friends to lovers, cuddling & snuggling, and they were roommates...

Strike one happens when he barks orders at the poor waiter who only tries to do his job without getting yelled at.

“I’ll take a steak, bloody,“ your date glares at the waiter who dared to fill your glass with water first. “And if I say bloody, I mean it.”

You roll your eyes. First dates are never easy, but with a man like this, it’s an impossible task. “She takes the salad with salmon.” That’s strike two.

While your date talks about wine, and his bloody steak, you already try to find a way to end this awful date without causing a scene.

Why people still go on dates, especially with people they found online, is a mystery to you. This sucks.

“Did you listen?” You look at your date when he snarls your name. “Aw, you don’t have to be shy, sweetness. I already decided to take you home, babe. You’re the right amount of hot and cute, with a dash of cluelessness.”

“What?” You square your jaw.

“I’m going to make you feel things you never—” He watches you rise from your seat to throw your water in his face. You murmur an apology at the waiter and hand the friendly man a huge tip.

Without sparing your date another glance, you storm out of the restaurant, still shaking in anger.

That bastard dared to order food for you without asking what you like. He treated you like a child, before deciding moments after you met for the first time that he’s going to fuck you tonight.

“Like hell…”

“Y/N, sweetie,” Jake’s eyes light up when he finds you in front of his door, not the delivery boy. “I thought you were on a date.”

You huff and shake your head. How can you tell your best friend what the man you wanted to date did?

“What happened, and do I have to kill him?”

You throw yourself at Jake to hide your face in his chest. “That bad, sweetie?”

“He…was…,” you sniffle when he wraps his arms around you. “He was just awful. I believed he was nice, but he yelled at the waiter and ordered food for me.”

“He did what?” Jake hiccups. “What did he order?”

“Salad, Jakie! He ordered salad for me!” you sniff. “And then he declared that he’s going to take me home tonight.”

“He…” Jake stiffens against you. “I’ll kill him. Give me all you know about him, and I find him to stab him with a rusty fork.”

You giggle. “Can we have a sleepover, Jakie? I don’t want to be alone now.”

“Of course, sweetie,” Jake snickers. “You know, it’s not a sleepover because you are living with me.”

“Only because we are roommates doesn’t mean we can’t have sleepovers. I want to eat ice cream, and we can nag about dudes and how they are all assholes.”

“You know that I’m a dude too, right?”

You lift your head to shake it furiously. “No! You’re Jakie,” you grin. “My best friend and a cutie. You’re not some random dude.”

Jake sighs. If only you’d see that he’s head over heels in love with you. His best friend.

“I ordered food, and I think we got some ice cream left,” Jake softly says. “How about you get comfortable, and I wait for the delivery guy.”

"Jakie...why are guys all so...I don't know," you shrug. "Maybe it's me. I want to be that woman a man easily falls in love with and cherishes." You walk toward your room, sighing again.

Jake watches you leave, sighing too. "You already are. Sadly, you don't know how wonderful you are...”

“There are no crab cakes for me,” you pout and sniffle. After changing into sweatpants and an old shirt you stole from Jake you got comfortable on his lap to eat the food he ordered. “Why?”

“You wanted to go on a date. I only ordered food for one,” he laughs when you whine and pout even harder. “Here,” he fishes the last crab cake out of the container, “you can share with me.”

“You’re the best,” you giggle before taking a small bite. “You can have the rest. I don’t want to eat all of your food.”

“I’ll always share my food with you.”

“That’s why I like you the most,” you grin. “You’re smart, nice, always share your food with me and sexy.”

“Sexy?” He coughs, almost choking on the rest of his last crab cake. “You think I’m sexy.”

“Yeah,” you turn in his lap to put your hands on his shoulders. “Jakie, didn’t you know that guys with glasses, especially the smart ones, are hot?”

“No…” He shakes his head when you lean closer. Jake tries to tilt his hips to keep you from rubbing against his swelling length. “I didn’t.”

“Hmm…” you lean impossibly closer to peck his nose. “Jakie…”

“Yeah?” He breathes your name and glances at your lips.

“Do you want to kiss me?” You wrap your arms around his neck to make the first move. “Jakie?”

He eagerly presses his lips to yours, tongue delving into your mouth. Jake tries to put all his feelings for you into this one kiss. Maybe this is the only chance he has to prove to you that he's the man for you.

“Wow,” he stammers. “That was…”

“Yeah,” you smile. “I had hoped this wouldn’t be awkward or feel like I kiss my brother. Phew … I’m glad it was the best kiss I ever had.”

He grins. “So, uh—can I invite you for another sleepover?”

“You better have a spot in your bed for me. From now on, I call dips on it, and you…”

Tags in reblog.

[mrs-elsie-barnes]

Reading Lists

Happy May!

Please make sure to check all warnings before reading. But if you do enjoy a story, maybe leave a comment and reblog to support your local neighbourhood fic writiers.

Ari Levinson

That Secret Place in the Garden by @witchywithwhiskey 🔥

Azriel

All Over Again by @pellucid-constellations

Bucky Barnes

Brats Don't Get What They Want by @lanabuckybarnes 🔥

Bucky and Bluey and You by @jobean12-blog

Bucky has fun with you and a toy by @buckys-wintersoldier 🔥

Domination by @buckys-wintersoldier 🔥

Finally, Back by @lives-in-midgard

His Empire of Desire by @bucky-barnes-diaries 🔥

Just Please Don't Leave Me by @delicatebarness

Mafia Bucky's Girl Gets Arrested by @buckybarnesb-tch

Oral Fixation by @little-miss-dilf-lover 🔥

Roommate Bucky by @angrythingstarlight 🔥

Southern Cookin' by @eat-limes-bitches

The Interview by @simplyholl 🔥

Cassian

R&R by @pellucid-constellations

Spiteful, Wicked Mate by @ervotica 🔥

Timeless by @shadowdaddies

Eris Vanserra

Ferocious Beasts with Soft Bellies by @daycourtofficial

Jake Jensen

A Helping Hand by @buckymorelikefuckme

Loki

Curiosities by @muddyorbsblr 🔥

Distractions by @lokisgoodgirl 🔥

Like A Queen by @lokisgoodgirl 🔥

Talk to Me by @vbecker10

Lucien Vanserra

Fireleaf by @acourtofwhatthefuck

Multiple/Poly Partners

Just One Night by @danikamariewrites (Azriel x Cassian x Nesta x Reader)

No Need to Decide by @quinzzelx 🔥 (Azriel x Cassian x Rhys x Reader)

Pathetic by @sweetcarolina-24 🔥

Teamwork by @thyme-in-a-bubble 🔥(Avengers x Reader)

Nick Fowler

A Little Bit Where Nick Wants You To Warm His Cock by @buckys-wintersoldier 🔥

Steve Rogers

The Horny Misadventures of Steve Rogers by @lokischambermaid 🔥

Stucky

Little Perv by @buckys-wintersoldier & @lanabuckybarnes 🔥

Who Vibes for Vibranium by @late-to-the-party-81 🔥

Tangerine

Another Ache by @little-miss-dilf-lover 🔥

Brown Paper Bag by @little-miss-dilf-lover

Co-workers by @sebsbarnes

Delicate by @pretty-little-mind33

Don't Blame Me by @pretty-little-mind33 🔥 - Epilogue - But Daddy I Love Him

Outta Your Mind by @little-miss-dilf-lover 🔥

Tristan Flynn

Can't Believe It by @throneofsmut

[gremlin-girly]

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

Hello lovelies, Grem here.

This is an 18+ blog anyway but it goes without saying that ageless blogs will be blocked and Minors DO NOT INTERACT.

As with the Flufftober 2024 Masterlist (which can be found here), I have listed the prompts by week and will try to update them regularly.

Eventually this will be on my main Masterlist and- once again - some of these elicited more than one part or more than one idea, so I do hope to share the continuations/alternates at some point!

I try to tag my work as best as I can but the warnings are non-exhaustive. I am not responsible for the content you consume!

Week 1

Day 1: Scratching

Main Kink(s): Scratching Pairing: Johnny Storm x f!Reader warnings: SMUT, dom!reader (kinda?), sub!johnny, P in V (wrap it folks!), oral (f recieving), multiple orgasm, Creampie, scratching, lovebites

distant!reader, not much aftercare on reader's part (that’s a warning), I wasn’t kidding when I said you don’t like him haha summary: You’ve met Johnny Storm a handful of times but enough to know one thing: you hate him. His smugness, his attitude, his everything. Well… almost everything word count: 3.2k

Day 2: Office Sex

Main Kink(s): office sex Pairing: IT Tech! Jake Jensen X f!PA!Reader Tags/Warnings:  SMUT, office sex, sex on a desk, p-in-v, squirting, creampie, reverse cowgirl, riding, vaginal fingering (brief), sex to relax, massage, Jake being a dork, pet names (baby), sweet ending Summary: You hate your boss and hate filing work for him when he’s out gallivanting so when your IT kit breaks and you summon IT to the devil’s den that is your boss’ office  you can’t help but take the opportunity you’ve been given with your office crush. Word Count: 3.5k

Day 3: Cock/Clit warming

Main Kink(s): clit/cockwarming, threesome/throuple (mmf) Pairing: 30s!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader X 30s!Steve Rogers Tags/Warnings: SMUT, threesome (mmf), established throuple, cockwarming, clit warming, oral (f recieving),  praise, squirting, multiple orgasm, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), creampie, pet names (doll, sweetheart) Summary: Your boyfriends know how to make you feel adored after a busy day at work - just as you know how to take care of them. Word count: 1.2k

Day 4: CNC

Title: Dark Fantasy Meets Reality Pairing: Lloyd Hansen (The Gray Man) x f!Reader Kink: CNC Tags/ Warnings: SMUT, CNC, hair pulling, rough sex, pet names (sweetheart, pretty girl, sunshine), praise (good girl), man-handling, bondage (zipties), p-in-v (wrap it before you tap it), cream pie, choking/breath play, panties and fingers in mouth, vaginal fingering, Lloyd Hansen (He is most DEFINITELY a warning) Summary: You find a place on the Web where you can spell out your sexual desires with no judgement and maybe even hire some help...  Word Count: 2.1k

Day 5: Discipline/Dominance/Facefucking Main Kink(s): Discipline, dominance, face fucking, spanking Pairing: Dom!Zemo x f!Sub!Reader Tags/Warnings:  SMUT, Discipline, dominance, face fucking, oral (m receiving), dubcon at the start but it's consensual overall, spanking, vaginal fingering, edging/denied orgasm, gagging/choking, drooling, cum swallowing, pet names (draga, sweets, good girl), use of titles (baron/sir), hair pulling, praise Summary: After annoying your lover all day, he takes his time to teach you a lesson you won’t forget. Word Count: 1.9k Day 6: Handjobs Kink: Handjobs Pairing: Room mate!Steve Rogers x f!Room mate! Reader Tags/ Warnings: SMUT, room mates to lovers (ig?), listening/watching of porn, JOI porn, smutty audiobook mentioned, descriptions of masturbation (m and f), praise and petnames (good boy, baby, sweetheart), handjob (m recieving), soft!dom!reader X submissive!Steve (the man just needs some taking care of)

Not Beta read (I'll have to edit my mistakes when I have the chance!) Summary: Your roommate forgets to disconnect his Bluetooth headphones from his phone, leading to an embarrassing moment between you both that segues into something more. Word Count: 2.9k

Week 2

Day 7: Macrophilia Title: The Perfect Jotunn Bride Kink: Macrophilia Pairing: Frost Giant! Loki x f!Asgardian!Reader Tags/ Warnings: SMUT, macrophilia, temperature play (Frost Giant skin), descriptions of violence (not toward reader), arranged/forced marriage, dubcon, mean!Loki (he should just be a warning anyway), knife play (brief), corset, struggling to breathe (bc of the corset), nipple/breast play, thigh riding, teasing, biting/marking, pet names (see below author's note), squirting, vaginal fingering

Summary: Your Husband, the Frost Giant Prince Loki, has come back from battle and expects to see his bride. Word Count: 3.1k

Part 2

Day 8: Primal/ Hunter x Prey Kink: primal / hunter x prey Pairing: Halsin x f!druid!reader Tags/warnings:  SMUT, hunter/prey dynamics, ik bears don’t hunt deer but hey its for the plot, but what plot really?, being tracked/chased,  no one stays as animals!!!, p in V, forest sex (just on the floor), biting(marking), doggy style, multiple orgasm, size kink if you squint

Summary: As a young druid you don’t heed the warnings of shifting to wildshape at night, believing that the animals in the wild forest would be easy to handle. But an encounter with a large brown bear sets in motion an unforgettable night under the tree canopy. Word Count: 1.7k

Day 9: Somnophilia

Day 10: Morning Sex

Day 11: Enemies AND lovers / Manhandling

Day 12: Competence

Day 13: Handcuffs

Week 3

Day 14: Spreader Bar (BDSM)

Day 15: Costumes/photos (Happy Halloween!!) Alt: Honey Bunny

Day 16: Role Play

Day 17: Blowjobs / Milf

Day 18 : Cheat Day

Day 19: Praise/Breeding (Jotunn Bride part 2)

Day 20:

Week 4

Day 21:

Day 22:

Day 23:

Day 24:

Day 25:

Day 26:

Day 27:

Week 5

Day 28:

Day 29:

Day 30:

Day 31:

[bigtreefest]

Continuing to read defending Jacob in the airport. My eyes are tired, so I had to put in my glasses😭😭 how do you think Jakey would feel when I tell him I hate how I look wearing them/having to wear them, even tho I’d tell him everyday his glasses are so sexy?

[veltana]

Oh god! This was so hot and Jake is so fucking cute and awkward (but still also hot af!)! 🥵

Not In Front of the Fish...

Jake Jensen x roommate!Reader follow up to Watch the Fish (see previous or JJ Masterlist)

Summary: You've caught Jake doing something he shouldn't, but there's no reason you can't string him along...and along...and along until the line snaps.

Warnings for smut (many references to masturbation, protected sex), horrible puns (yes, hello, I'm Ro, welcome!), heavy innuendo, trolling this poor boi as hard as humanly possible, taking the lord's name in so much vain, kinda *aggressive* foreplay, aftercare, fluff, and whipped!Jake (deserves a warning because I sure as sh*t wasn't prepared 🫠).

Blame @bigtreefest...or thank Essie, ya know, whatevs! No beta, we die drowning in the fish tank. MINORS DNI. And yes, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, the glasses stay on 🤭 Y'all may not realize this but I myself am an ultra-awkward nerd, so I identify with Jake's struggle and yet would absolutely, endlessly tease this mothaf**ka.

"Hey, Jakey. Whatcha doing?"

Well, thank fuck he's not still hard standing there with his metaphorical dick out, the last image from your laptop's screen seared into his eyeballs of some woman taking a load in her open mouth.

"Need me--" you steadily lick vanilla ice cream off a spoon, some caught at the corner of your wide open lips "--for anything?"

He stares. He stares so intently he almost falls over. Apparently, he's leaned into his staring.

"My help, perhaps?"

Your tongue rolls across the edge of the refilled spoon.

He thinks maybe he'll cry if you keep this up, but for the love of Christ, please keep this up.

"No," he squeaks. "Just..." Must you be wearing short-shorts? Is it essential that your tank top dip so low? "...saying 'hi.'"

His hand flings out in a wave, five fingers managing to point in eight different directions because he can't commit to any sort of normal human movement.

"So... Hi."

Some ice cream drips off the spoon down your chin and to your chest.

Jake is not here right now. Jake has died.

"Sure." You wipe up your mess and keep eating. "Sweet dreams, big guy. You look ready to hit the sack after a long...satisfying...shower." You let the spoon dangle from your mouth while brushing past him, which you have to do. You have to touch him because Jake can't fucking move for the life of him, and he swears to god you made your hand sweep across the front of his hip.

He jolts to follow the contact before overwriting his hind brain. His hand slaps the wall as he catches himself trying before collapsing into a begging puddle at your feet.

He should tell you. He'd rather die.

He should admit what he's done, admit what he wants to do, but when he stops pinching his eyes shut for strength, Jake turns to find you bent over in the doorway.

"Hello, sweethearts," you coo to the fish, "what would you like to do this evening? Maybe watch another movie?"

You wiggle your butt and make this happy sort of popping noise that Jake can't unhear.

Fuck, is this a thing he's gonna have to deal with now? Listening to you watching porn? His mind instinctively scans your room for a glimpse of any toy you may have left out. He's dying, yeah, but dying to know what they look like, if he's bigger than whatever you bury inside you now.

"Jake," you repeat in a breathy way that has him swallowing his tongue. You've stood back up, holding a bowl with oozing white liquid that teeters close to the edge as it melts.

His dick could top that off in jiffy if you'd like.

He coughs. "Yeah, uh, what?"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

Fuck me, every muscle, bone, and braincell in his body screams at once.

All he manages is an anatomically-correct impression of a fish. No sound comes up from his desperate lungs. He flees to his room.

He hears you shut your door just as he shoves down the shorts he threw on and grabs a squirt of lotion from the bottle nearby.

Too many images speed through his brain all at once, cum and cream, sex and porn, your open mouth, your presented ass, that peek of cheek beneath soft fabric, the shadow along the seam where the material ran right through your folds--probably, at least, he's filling in gaps wherever he pleases--and the breathy sounds of 'Jakey' 'need me' 'help you' 'satisfying,' and 'anything.'

"Fuck me," he growls out in earnest, sparing no trick to get himself off as fast as possible. Maybe if he's quick he won't learn exactly how hot he finds all this. He already relies on you as the voice in his head.

It's like you're right there on the floor with him, cupping his balls and whispering in his ear.

So hard for me, huh? So heavy and in need of attention. Why did you wait to fuck your fist, Jakey? Had to hear me? Think of this dick filling me better than any toy...

He gasps and groans, shoving his face into the nearest side of mattress to muffle the carnal sound.

It puts his ear right next to his discarded headphones.

"Daddy was so rude just then, huh? I know. He's shy. He'll come see you tomorrow. He just needs to be all alone in his bed when he's tired. I know, I know. It makes mommy sad, too. She doesn't like to be all alone, but that's why I have you. Look at the camera and wish daddy goodnight..."

Oh, fuuuuuuuuck me, Jake wails into his sheets when he hears the sound of you blowing a kiss through the speakers.

Poor thing doesn't know you're torturing him on purpose, but at least he came...with his bare knees aching on the hardwood floor of his room and the nosepiece of his glasses digging into his eye sockets as he buries his shame in his bed.

You suggest he have the fish in his room for a while, like shared custody, but then he knows you would have access to listen to him via the livestream.

If he tells you you have to mute it every time, you'll know he might not have. If he refuses to keep the feed up or the camera functioning, you'll be suspicious of why. If he says fucking anything against your very thoughtful and adorable idea, it'll be a cold day in hell since he will endure all forms of torture just to see your elated smile as the tank is finally setup between his closet and his bed across the room from his desk.

The keystrokes from his work are too faint for the camera's microphone, and he proceeds to wear headphones for music, take calls outside, and never touch himself in his own room for weeks. Ok fine, two, he makes it two weeks.

Deprived of hearing you, which he grew rather dependent on, and needing to inconspicuously lengthen his showers, Jake is a mess.

Why didn't he record anything? Why would he??? He was supposed to get himself together like a man and either ask you out or get the fuck over it.

He even watches (but mostly listens to) porn through his headphones without touching himself in an attempt to fade the memory, but then you show up at his door, asking to visit with the 'kiddos' and checking with the Marauders if 'daddy' is treating them well.

He's not gonna make it, man.

You settle on his bed to read for a while because why the fuck would he say 'no' to you, and this is the part that does Jake in the most: his sheets smell like you after and turning in his desk chair to find you accidentally asleep in his bed just... He can't.

He's unwell thinking about how sweet you are, how fucking horrible he's being by fantasizing about you this way, how if he just had the balls to crawl over to kiss you, he'd--but he doesn't. He just gets worse.

He gets real messed up horny one evening when you're out at some fancy event with friends.

You leave wearing this dress that practically had him on his knees the way it molded to you and yet draped so smoothly in places. He thinks of his mouth molded to you that closely and his body laying so smoothly over yours.

Damn it. He has to do something. He goes into your room, and it's not that bad, he just picks up a t-shirt, that's all. He's not the world's worst perv or anything. It's not underwear, for god's sake, but on a fluke (because he has no idea how long he was in there) he climaxes at the sound of you yelling 'I'm home' from the kitchen and scrambles to the bathroom with his gym shorts wrapped around his thighs, hand still catching spurts of cum as he for sure doesn't calm down, with milliseconds to spare.

Thank fucking god you're slower to climb the stairs in heels.

He takes it back. He is the world's worst perv.

Your t-shirt mysteriously disappears until he can sneak it back into your laundry.

He runs out of floss and absently searches your drawer for--oh my god.

OH. MY GOD.

That...is a large, veiny dildo you have there. Oh fuck.

Jake slams the drawer shut without thinking.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just...just gotta put floss on the grocery list."

"Use some of mine," you call out casually.

"It's fine!" His voice was too high and he answered too fast, but if he's not mistaken, you have now invited him to poke around in your things.

He feels slightly less pervy...and a hell of a lot hornier.

It reaches a point where coming in the shower isn't enough.

He falls asleep ok but wakes restless and craving friction. There's want and then there's need, and Jake fucking needs this or he'll never rest.

He goes on as quietly as possible, thinking that getting up, going to the bathroom, and turning on the exhaust fan will make far more noise than humping his sheets and biting his pillow.

The fish tank glows as usual at the foot of his bed.

Look away, kids, Jake thinks and immediately doesn't know whether to be sick or laugh. Daddy is gonna fucking die like this.

He knows it's pathetic. The entire thing has been pathetic from start to finish, but he's just too tired and too het up to care.

A few whines escape the insulation of his pillowcase. He misses the gentle patter of footsteps down the hall.

There's a soft knock followed by "Jake?"

God damn it. The one time he gives in, and he's already ruined it.

He tucks himself up into the band of his boxers which is not exactly subtle but can't be helped. Jake rolls out of his bed, finding his glasses in the dark to crack open the door with his body strategically behind it.

"Yeah, what's up?"

He can't make out a whole lot in the low light, but you don't say anything. Your arms are spread out to hang on either side of the frame, making your (again) very low-cut tank top his only focal point.

Well now he's sorta worried this has absolutely fuck-all to do with his problem. "Are you okay?"

"I...I thought..."

Your voice is soft and timid. It makes Jake want to wrap you in his arms, but he's still worried that you'll say you heard him and it's not okay and he's gross and this is all way, way out of line.

He holds his breath to better listen.

"I hoped you would have needed me by now."

What. Air rushes out of him like he's been tackled.

Sorry, WHAT?

"What?" the question finally falls out as he leans intensely again, shifting so the door doesn't slam in your face, his bare chest and lower half now visible as much as they can be. "You...what now??"

Your arms fall and you step forward. It looks to him like you move with trepidation, that your head is lowered in embarrassment, that somehow you're shy about your confession. Maybe you are, but only the tiniest amount compared to him.

"Tell me if I'm wrong, Jake." You slap one hand to his chest with a crinkling noise, and he swiftly moves to take the wrapped condom. "Tell me if you don't want this," you continue, lowering your voice and hand until your thumb grazes the exposed head of his cock.

Lightning strikes and super-charges his need.

"But if you don't th--"

He'll be damned if you finish that thought. Jake scoops your jaw into one big hand, angling you just-so, barreling you both into his door as it swings into his closet with a wobbling bang. He's clumsy and his grip goes everywhere to bully you flush with his body yet not drop your timely offering.

His kisses are feverish and sloppy. By the feel of you groping at his back and shoulders, you're not mad about it. He fumbles with the wrapper behind your back. It takes his attention away for a few seconds.

"I prepped for you," you whisper hoarsely. "I'm ready."

Jake has no legs at that point and takes you with him in a heap to the floor. While stripping away his boxers, he realizes his naked ass is high in the air of his room.

All he can see in his mind is fish pressed against the glass, staring, judging. Gah, not here.

He maneuvers into your hold again and says, "hang on," crawling to the hall runner so the 'children' won't see. No, he can't make it any further because his length is snuggled between your fucking thighs and somehow the hallway is a fucking mile long to your room. No, he's not immune to your whines from where your head is tucked in the crease of his neck.

Here's fine.

As gracefully as he can, Jake collapses onto you, collecting the noises he missed so much directly from the source.

For being made of such little fabric, your shorts are in his way, and he's genuinely annoyed to have to lift from you again, even though it's necessary to discard them and necessary to get the now-open condom rolled along his aching cock.

His glasses are already smeared from haphazardly exploring your skin. If Jake couldn't see before, he's all but blind now. The only garment close enough to try and clean them is your tank top, but he ignores it because it's still dark. He needs to feel you more than anything else in the world.

Lightly, your fingertips flicker down his abs and lead him to close the gap between you.

Jake groans as he lines himself up and easily notches into your welcoming heat. As aroused as you are, he still edges himself deeper and deeper in barely-controlled strokes, grabbing the railing at his side for leverage and stability.

He grunts instead of articulating how magnificent you feel. He moans instead of voicing what an utter blessing it is to finally fuck you. He gasps with the rolls of your hips because you taking control while beneath him just...unravels him.

This was too long coming, and he wasn't prepared.

Jake's apology for being fast to finish perches at the tip of his tongue when you cut off his words and the last of circulation to his brain.

You shake and pant, mewling 'yes' and his name, while your body squeezes him like a vice. He's being pumped to completion without moving another muscle, and, good fucking god, he has to hang on, falling to his forearm, keeping his open mouth hovering over yours.

Jake thinks maybe he just drowned and got brought back to life.

Right there, in his face are your precariously covered tits, nipples rock hard and taunting him. He doesn't care what his dick's doing anymore; he wrenches a strap down your chest and lavishes your plush flesh with attention.

Too long coming and in no way prepared... Neither were you.

Your hands brace his head, fingers buried in his short hair as you wiggle and hump at his semi-stiff cock inside you. Jake hisses in over-stimulation but doesn't stop you. He swears he will never, ever stop you.

His attentions on your breasts slow but he can't seem to let you go for a long time, long after your legs fall away from him, limp and twitching.

A pair of goodbye pecks is his parting gift before Jake nuzzles up the column of your neck and takes what little breath you've regained, curling his arms around you as his tongue curls with yours.

When he adjusts again, he realizes how sore he's getting from kneeling on the floor, and sits up to help you, too.

"Let me get--I'll just--"

Jake can almost reach a towel inside the bathroom from this position with his long arms, but he's sure to warm up the tap and trash the condom before returning to gently wipe you. He may have made a quick pass at his lenses in there as well.

You look dazed and delightfully sated, basking in the streak of light from the bathroom, leaning on your palms like you're on a beach somewhere.

"Fuck, you're stunning," he says without thought.

He...lingers a while to clean you up, overtly mapping these bits of you he hasn't seen yet.

"What took you so long?"

Jake tosses the towel up into the sink behind him and manhandles you into his arms.

"I might've ruined everything." He starts to lower you into your bed, but you don't release your arms from around his neck. "You could've kicked me out."

He's not going to argue. He won't say 'no' to you.

"Come here, you dork. You can't keep me waiting anymore."

Jake climbs into the cramped, cozy space with you, mentally noting that a bigger bed is definitely on the shopping list.

A/N: I am strategically leaving out my thoughts on the next morning for now because I'm just too excited, eeeee!

[buckymorelikefuckme]

jake jensen x fem reader (obviously)

words: 360ish

warnings & tags: implied smut so **18+ ONLY** also lapslock and poor attempts at humor ok bye

a/n: this gave me an excuse to let go of this silly little draft 😌 thank you hunny ilysm~ this isn't proofread very well either so that's my bad. hope you like it!! xo

jake stumbles out of his bedroom looking unfocused—shellshocked, really—as he fixes his glasses back on the bridge of his nose, knees wobbling with each unsteady step he takes towards the kitchen and bracing himself on every available, sturdy surface he passes. his face is blazing with heat and a sheen of sweat is gathered on his skin not covered by his inside out t-shirt and crooked sweatpants, which were (clearly) put on hastily.

his best friends and roommates, pooch and cougar, who are sitting on the couch with the tv still blaring to drown out the incredibly loud noises that were previously coming out of the aforementioned bedroom, share a look.

“what the fuck did she do to you?” cougar questions.

jake’s attention snaps to his friends, though he very much remains dazed. “that was the best sex of my life,” he whispers with shining eyes, completely serious and almost sounding choked up about it as he grips the back of one of the bar stools so hard his knuckles turn white.

his friends share another look, eyebrows reaching their hairlines.

you waltz out of jake’s room with a hop in your step and a beaming smile. when you pass by jake you brush your fingers across his cheek and he whimpers.

you're practically glowing as you cock your hip and twirl your hair and ask, “see you later?”

“whatever you want,” jake rushes out earnestly.

you grin once again, leaning up to press a kiss to the same cheek you touched before. jake turns a concerning shade of red and stutters out not one single coherent word and gestures vaguely with his hands until he finally snaps his mouth shut, huffing out what one would assume to be a laugh, and jerkily gives you a kiss back that makes you giggle.

you begin to whisper something to jake that has him shifting anxiously on his feet and cutting his eyes over to the men on the couch, but then you say something else and he giggles and rubs the back of his neck shyly.

“oh, that's just sad,” pooch mumbles to cougar.

cougar nods in agreement, watching on in horrified fascination.

[veltana]

All my works are posted on AO3 but I’m in the process of posting the old stuff to tumblr as well.

Mafia AU series Read on AO3 | Read on tumblr 

Buy my heart - Alpha!Bucky series Read on AO3 | Read on tumblr

Sell my soul - Alpha!Lloyd series Read on AO3 | Read on tumblr

One shots

Breaking point Possessive!Roommate!Bucky Barnes/Fem!reader Explicit Bucky is done with you going out with losers. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Groupie Avengers!Bucky Barnes/Fan!fem!reader Explicit Since joining the Avengers you've been avoiding Bucky Barnes, afraid of what would happen if he ever learned the truth. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Highest bidder Friend!Steve Rogers/Virgin!fem!reader Explicit Tired of being a virgin and out of money you travel to Las Vegas to auction it off. Little do you know your friend Steve Rogers won't let anyone else have you. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Like a shadow CEO!Bucky Barnes/PA!fem!reader Explicit You’re Bucky’s assistant. What happens when he notices you after six months? [AO3] [Tumblr]

Mutual satisfaction Avengers!Bucky Barnes/Avengers!fem!reader Explicit Movie night turns into something you could never have imagined. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Riding into the night Biker!Bucky Barnes/Fem!reader Explicit You meet Bucky at a bar. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Shared Desires Bucky/Fem!reader, Steve/Fem!reader, brief Bucky/Steve Explicit With a sigh, Steve looks at his best friend, his long lost brother, the person he went through hell to get back. If Bucky knew the truth he wouldn't be laughing. [AO3] [Tumblr]

The winter rebound Avengers!Bucky Barnes/Fem!reader Explicit You go with your friend to Mr. Stark's holiday party [AO3] [Tumblr]

Unleashed Avengers!Bucky Barnes/Fem!reader Explicit Bucky becomes exposed to a chemical during a mission and all he needs is you. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Crossovers

Incentive Ari Levinson/Fem!reader + Stucky/Reader Explicit Ari is having a business meeting and you wouldn’t mind being used to sweeten the deal. [AO3] [Tumblr] Gift Ari Levinson/Fem!reader + Stucky/Reader Explicit Ari surprises you for your birthday with a special gift. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Such a bad day Ari Levinson/Fem!reader/Jake Jensen Explicit You're moping because it's raining but Ari and Jake know how to turn that frown into something else. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Find all my ficlets and drabbles here

Professor!Spencer Reid series

Sunday funday  Professor!Spencer Reid/Student!Reader  Explicit You’re unsatisfied after a disappointing weekend and find your professor on a special kind of dating app. [AO3] [Tumblr]

Relentless Pleasures Professor!Spencer Reid/Student!Reader Explicit Fucking your professor might have been the best and the worst decision of your life. Is it just sex or do both of you want something more? When an unsub makes their way towards your university, you and Spencer are forced to face your feelings for each other a lot sooner than any of you had counted on. [AO3] [Tumblr]

One shots

Carry you to bed BAU!Spencer Reid/Agent!Reader Explicit You’re on loan to the BAU and during your first case you fall asleep in the car.  [AO3] [Tumblr]

If you want to come Spencer Reid/Luke Alvez/best friend!Reader Explicit There has always been something between you and Luke but it has never led to anything. On a rare night off you’re supposed to have dinner and catch up but end up going out with his co-workers. [AO3] [Tumblr]

[witchywithwhiskey]

i rewatched fantastic four tonight for the first time in ages and it got me thinking. i have a camboy!roommate!jake jensen wip that i never finished and maybe i’ll try rewriting it with johnny storm 🤔 somehow that just feels right, right?