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nobodyfamousposts · 5 years ago

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Runaway: Roommates AU

For @a-marlene-s and the contest, for the prompt: Runaway

A Harry Potter-based Miraculous Ladybug AU. With roommates.

_________________________________

Marinette was a big believer in luck. She came by it honestly, as there was something of a family belief regarding the unknown force that impacted their lives.

Her Uncle’s luck helped him work his way to becoming a world famous chef.

Her Mother’s luck led her to her husband.

Marinette’s luck gained her a strange roommate and his equally strange cat.

...If there really was a universal force directing fortune as her family believed, she had some questions for it.

It was just Marinette’s luck that the day she met Adrien, she was in the market for a new roommate. She had been sharing her flat for the last five years with her best friend, Alya, and they got along well. But Alya had a boyfriend and they had recently chosen to take the next step in their relationship and get a place together. Marinette understood, of course, but it still left her now as the sole resident of a flat that was outside of her budget and forced to choose to give it up or find some other way to make ends meet that wouldn’t involve giving up food and end up causing Alya and Tikki to stage an intervention.

The choice should be obvious, but Marinette loved her flat and was loathe to leave it. Sadly, she had only been able to afford it previously because she had shared expenses with Alya. On her own, it was more costly than she could afford and more room than she really needed.

But oh...what other place had an extended balcony that was perfect for a garden? Or such wide windows that were positioned to let in light but avoid the sun’s glare? Or had a built in desk and a space she could use as a crafting nook?

She was already having to say goodbye to Alya, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her home, too.

But it seemed that Luck pulled through for her, albeit in a rather...unusual way.

When the blond cinnamon roll appeared in her bakery, looking so lost and confused with no idea what to do or where to go, and nothing with him but a suitcase and an equally unhappy cat...she hadn’t known what to think of him.

Well, that’s not quite right. Her immediate thought had been to take the poor boy in and hug him until he stopped being sad.

Then he tried to pay for a single croissant with an overabundance of a strange type of coin. And it became clear that the man was very much not from around here. And had no idea how money worked.

Or how anything worked apparently, given his multitude of strange reactions to things.

Admittedly, she had been a bit hasty in her offer of letting him stay with her. After all, inviting a complete stranger to live with you was...generally not the brightest idea. If anything, it was usually the setup to a horror movie. But Marinette still went through with it anyway.

To this day, she still didn’t know what made her do it. Desperation, perhaps? Attributing it to her luck and not wanting to let an opportunity pass her? Or maybe it was the way something about him had drawn her in...

Regardless, he had no place to go. And she had a place he could use. It seemed like a mutually beneficial arrangement.

She just hadn’t realized just how lost Adrien was when they first met and introduced themselves to each other. Not until after he first moved in and it became abundantly clear how unfamiliar he was with...well...everything. It was no wonder he had been so overwhelmed when she first met him.

She couldn’t help but want to help him.

She just hadn’t realized what all that would entail...

____________

“Marinette! What is THAT?!”

“That’s the microwave.”

“WHY IS IT BEEPING? ARE WE GONNA DIE?”

“No, Adrien, it’s just popcorn.”

“What are these words?!”

“Do you really not have popcorn in the country?”

“Why is the bag big now? Is it magic? Are you magic? Because—”

She just shoved a couple of the popcorn pieces in his mouth at that.

_____________

"Wait, you mean you don't know how to use a washing machine?"

He shrunk in on himself. "No."

She blinked in surprise. She could have sworn…

“But...then how have you been washing your clothes?"

A long pause.

He simpered. “Can I choose not to answer that?"

She sighed.

_____________

“Marinette! Your morning wake-up box is beeping. You need to get up.”

She mumbled and turned away from Adrien and the offending noise.

He frowned. “Marinette, it won’t turn off unless you do the thing.”

She pulled a pillow over her head and continued to ignore him.

Undeterred, he approached her bed. Against better judgement, he poked at her to get her attention.

“Mari—”

A hand suddenly made contact with his face. In an all too similar manner to how she would normally try to subdue the ringing wake-up box.

It would take two days worth of apologies and make up gifts of hot chocolate and pastries for him to forgive her.

_____________

She frowned, looking at an expanse of wall and empty space on one side of the den.

“That’s weird…didn’t we have something here before?”

Adrien stilled at that.

“No.” He answered tersely.

“I could swear there was something.”

“Nope.”

She tilted her head, thinking. “I thought this flat had a fireplace? Didn’t we use it sometimes?” She could have sworn...

“You must be imagining things.” Adrien told her, taking hold of her shoulders and trying to guide her to the couch on the other side. “There hasn’t been anything there since I moved in.”

“Oh. Maybe it was a shelf or something Alya took with her.”

“That must be it.”

“Hmm…maybe we could set up a television there…”

“Yeah, sure.” He replied automatically as he drew her away from the area.

So caught up in her thoughts, she never noticed the dirty glare Adrien shot towards the now blank wall.

_____________

She had thought the introduction to television would be the biggest thing.

And she was right.

“What is THAT?” He asked in wonder, staring in shock at rectangular box with moving images inside.

“It’s a television.” She explained, gesturing to the screen as Romero confessed his love to Julia in the Spanish soap opera her cable had somehow allowed her access to.

She bit back a laugh when Adrien attempted to touch the screen. “Are they stuck in there?”

Omg, he was so adorable.

“What? No! It’s…well…it can play sounds and images from somewhere else. Things that were pre-recorded and are replayed for entertainment.”

He perked up at that. “Like a radio?”

Okay, good. So wherever he was from, he wasn’t THAT far behind on technology. Only early 1920’s instead of the nineteenth century like she’d feared.

“Yes! It’s just people pretending.”

“Oh.” He sighed, still enraptured by the TV.

“Yeah, and there are all different types of shows and movies. Different genres and different styles.”

“Styles?” He asked, finally tearing his eyes from the television to look at her.

“Sure. There’s live action, CGI, animation—”

He blinked. “Animation?”

“Yeah, like cartoons and anime.” She frowned, considering. “Actually, I think there’s…what channel was it on again?” She used the remote to flip through channels until she reached one particular network that was currently playing some anime she vaguely recalled.

Adrien gasped, his eyes even wider than she had previously thought possible. And there was a particular shine to them as he stared at the TV like it was the holy grail. He barely noticed Marinette anymore, now standing in front of the TV and completely enthralled.

Marinette chuckled softly to herself as she lightly took his arm and pulled him back so they both sat back on the couch. Adrien let her, his gaze never straying from the screen as the teen magical girl protagonist transformed to fight the monster of the day.

That was the day Adrien was first introduced to anime.

It was also the day Marinette inadvertently created an otaku.

_____________

One day, he had called her in a panic while she had been at work.

“Adrien?! What’s going on?” She asked.

“It…this thing just came out and it’s crawling the floor! IT ATE PLAGG!”

She balked. “WHAT?”

“He tried to attack it and—wait. Plagg? You’re alive! What are you…NO WAIT PLAGG, NO!”

Marinette had practically thrown her apron to Tikki and rushed home. Within minutes, she had reached the flat and slammed the door open to what could only be chaos.

Or at least the sort of chaos that comes with Adrien huddled with his legs held up on the couch and glaring in betrayal as Plagg proudly sat atop the Roomba that was still making its way across the floor.

And…

Yeah, Marinette couldn’t.

She just couldn’t.

It took a good five minutes for her to stop laughing.

Adrien pouted the whole time, muttering about traitorous cats and roommates.

And Plagg continued to ride the Roomba. Looking for all purposes like a king, even when it knocked into the counter at one point and an empty can of Camembert fell on his head.

Marinette just laughed harder.

_____________

She had slowly been introducing Adrien to the world. Bit by bit. One lesson at a time. And with each day that passed, he seemed to become more comfortable with her and the world at large. And while he never said much about his life before, what he did say (and what he didn’t) was more than enough to paint a picture. One that Marinette didn’t like and made her silently swear to herself she would be having WORDS with his family if she ever met them.

But Adrien had been getting better. Happier. More outgoing as time passed.

He had even gotten a job at the coffee shop as a barista. Which was kind of amazing, to be honest. He didn’t know anything about coffee, but he seemed skilled at mixing things. When she had asked, he made a comment about “potions” being his best class.

Funny guy. Though she wasn’t sure she understood the joke.

There was also just…something about him that seemed to draw people in. Whenever he was working the register (after he had finally learned how to work the machine and count money, and wasn’t THAT an experience in itself?), the number of customers seemed to grow exponentially compared to other days. It just didn’t make sense. Adrien just smiled and said it was part of his charm.

Another joke she didn’t understand.

Tikki seemed to get it though. Her friend was also a bit weird, but she and Adrien seemed to get along rather well. It was like they shared a bond of some sort.

To be honest, Marinette was a little jealous.

But she was happy for him. He was really growing over the months they spent together. Wherever he came from, it didn’t seem to be the healthiest place. Adrien certainly never wanted to talk about it, so the best she had to go on were his behaviors and conjecture.

He seemed happy, at any rate. He was able to leave the apartment now. He was making friends, and seemed to be getting rather popular even. He had a job—not that he seemed to need it given how much money he had…even if he had no idea how to use it.

Who tried to pay for a pastry in gold coins anyway?

Ah well. It didn’t matter.

Whatever happened, he was her weird roommate.

And she wouldn’t have him any other way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrien liked his “roomie”. Marinette was…nice. She was patient and took the time to explain things when he didn’t understand. She didn’t yell at him for making a mess—which he did…often. She smelled like cookies.

And most importantly, she didn’t ask questions.

Oh sure, she gave him weird looks fairly regularly. And she was clearly confused by his lack of knowledge about things that were normal to her. But she never ridiculed him for it. If anything, she was teaching him, and he had to thank her for it—especially for anime. Because this? This was awesome!

She was the best roommate he could have asked for.

Even if she was a Muggle.

He shouldn’t be with her. Or here at all. How could things have possibly worked out this way? Or even half as well as they have?

Adrien Agreste was a Wizard. The son of Gabriel Agreste, a high-ranking official of the French Ministry and personal friend of the French Minister of Magic. He came from a long line of powerful Wizards and no blood pollution.

At least…not until his mother, whom had been a half-Veela.

Gabriel hadn’t known at the time when he chose to pursue her. And it remained questionable to this day whether it had been her Veela charm that had driven him to her in the first place. But he had been furious when he had realized it, and it was considered a dark mark on the family line.

Maybe that was why she was gone? It was certainly why Gabriel had kept Adrien isolated for most of his life. At least until Beauxbatons. But even there, things had been…stifling.

A private room. His classes carefully chosen for him. Personal tutors. And his interactions with other students were kept limited to avoid anyone falling under his charm. But even then, his heritage gave him an aura of some sort. One that made people in awe of him, but only further increased the distance between him and everyone else.

Sure, Chloe was there, and she had been his childhood friend, but the Minister’s daughter did not endear herself to anyone. And when it became known he was her friend, it hadn’t helped matters.

It was little wonder that a number of the other students avoided him.

Other than ones who wanted to use him.

Like Lila Rossi.

He hadn’t known what to think of the girl. She was popular enough, sure. But her stories rang false to him and she tended to treat people around her like helpers rather than friends. He knew from the start that there was something about her that was untrustworthy.

Lila…had an unusual interest in him. One he didn’t like. It made him uncomfortable.

And yet somehow, she wormed her way into his father’s good graces. So much so that of all people, Gabriel had decided to arrange a marriage for Adrien to her. Because of course it just made sense for the two to get together.

Not that Adrien’s opinion had ever been consulted on the matter.

Gabriel was nothing if not stubborn though. Once he had set his mind on something, that was it. Adrien had never won an argument against him. And he knew he wouldn’t win here either. Even when it was his own future on the line. Even when it was his life being decided for him.

So he ran.

It was quite possibly both the best and worst decision of his life.

He had been completely lost and overwhelmed at first. And almost immediately questioned his sanity. But he just couldn’t let himself back down on on this one. Sure, his father had always been somewhat overprotective of him and controlling of his life. And he had been fine with it. Mostly. Kind of. Not really.

But an arranged marriage was just…too much? He ended up gathering his more important belongings into his trunk and taking off with Plagg before he had even realized what he was doing.

Adrien had kicked himself afterwards. He had always given in to his father’s orders before and it turned out…well, not “fine”, but all right, at least. Surely…surely this wasn’t that big of a deal right? That his father was selecting his wife for him? That his future would be set in stone before he even really had a chance to figure it out for himself.

He was an adult now. Surely…he could choose what he wanted to do, right?

Well, he was an adult, sure, but he knew nothing about the world. And especially not the Muggle world, where he had escaped to in a rash bit of insight. Because surely his father would never think to look for him there? His father didn’t know anything about the Muggle world, after all.

Except then Adrien had realized all too late that he hadn’t even known anything about Muggles, either. His father wouldn’t let him take the Muggle Studies class, so he knew nothing about what they were like or how to fit in. He had money on him, of course, but what currency did Muggles use? How did he convert it? Where could he even look to for a place to stay?

Within two hours, he was regretting everything. He was debating giving in to his fate when Plagg had seemed to get an interest in something and ran off, resulting in a chase that led Adrien to a quaint little coffee shop.

If nothing else, he could take a break here and regain his bearings.

But…

Everything had smelled so wonderful. And the pastries looked heavenly. He had known it was a bad idea, but…well, maybe they could accept Galleons here?

How many Galleons were one of these pastries worth?

Well, a dozen should be enough, right?

The strange look that the girl gave him only made him want to duck his head in shame.

It wasn’t enough, was it?

But as if she was proficient in Occlumency and could tell exactly what he was thinking, she instead took him aside and talked to him. And despite himself, he told his story.

Well…half of it.

A third?

A little, at least. Just enough to give the basics of what she needed to know.

And it turned out to be enough, as she made him an offer he’d had to have been a fool to refuse.

That was how he ended up sharing a home with a Muggle. A sweet and strong woman whom, for all of their differences and completely separate worlds, he had felt closer to than anyone he had known in the Wizarding world.

She didn’t understand where he came from. And he certainly couldn’t tell her. Wizarding laws and secrecy and all. But she was still trying to help in her own way. And he could tell her…some things, at least. About his feelings. About his wants. Things he had never been able to tell his father. Things his father had never cared to listen to.

But she listened. And she cared. And she offered shelter. For him and Plagg, regardless of how much a of a pain the cat could be.

He had his own room, sure. But it was a quarter of the size of the old one and somehow all the better for it. While bare at first, the walls were eventually covered in silly posters from his favorite anime. The shelves were filled with books and toys, little knick knacks that actually made him happy to see. Some things Marinette helped him picked out. A lot of which were just things he saw and wanted. All sorts of things he had never been able to get back…there.

And he wasn’t stuck in the room either. He could leave it whenever he wanted. Spend time in the living room and watch the “television” and feed his growing love of anime (once he had gotten rid of the fireplace because he wasn’t about to risk someone trying to get in through the Floo Network, even by accident). Play “video games” with Marinette. Go on the balcony and enjoy the sun. Even just go out into the city whenever he wanted.

It was…a truly marvelous experience for someone who had been isolated for so long.

He even had a job now, working at the very shop where he had met Marinette. He knew nothing about coffee or the machines, but Potions was his best class and one he enjoyed. Mixing and cooking things to create something new was a rather amazing thing. And while coffee weren’t potions, he had come to realize that certain things he had learned in his class could translate over. A difference of heat and changing the length of time the coffee was allowed to roast resulted in a different flavor. Though he did have to fight for the position with another coworker by the name of Tikki, a friend of Marinette’s whom she introduced him to.

And that was the other thing…

“You’re a Wizard, aren’t you?”

He had admittedly not expected to run into anyone from the Wizarding world at all. But the short red-head with twinkling blue eyes caught him off guard completely.

Even as she smiled sadly at him.

“Marinette doesn’t know, does she?”

Dumbly, he could only shake his head in response.

He hadn’t wanted to be discovered. Not by anyone.

It turned out to be for the best though. Tikki was a huge help in getting him more acclimated. She explained to him more about fitting in as a Muggle. She even led him to the nearest Wizarding Bank where he was finally able to change his Galleons to the correct currency.

As a Witch herself, he knew she wouldn’t reveal him. And it was nice…having someone else who knew, even if she didn’t know the full story. She was still in touch with the Wizarding world and could help him. Giving him news or updates, point him to the nearest hidden shops for anything he might need. And yes, even laugh with him over his latest failures.

“It’s not funny!” He pouted as Tikki was practically howling after hearing the latest story about King Plagg the Roomba Rider.

“Yes, it is! YES, IT IS!”

“I even have video.” Marinette added cheerfully, much to Tikki’s pleasure as both women proceeded to look at her cellphone and chortle over the recording. Adrien was simply ignored and left to sulk.

He would never live it down.

It had been months like this, and some embarrassment aside, he had thoroughly enjoyed it. All of it.

He even enjoyed working. Though he admittedly felt a little guilty that his Veela charm seemed to draw in customers to the point where there would often be a pretty long ling just to order coffee. But Marinette and the other workers just laughed it off.

He was…really starting to consider this home.

The coffee shop. The city. The flat.

Tikki.

Plagg.

Marinette.

Rooming with Marinette was probably the best thing to happen to him. He had been trying new things. Learning so much he hadn’t known previously. Seeing things. Doing things.

Living.

It was...nice. It was home. It was everything he wanted in a home. Even if he was banned from activating anything besides the television when Marinette wasn’t there.

He was ever grateful that Plagg had led him to her.

#ml fic #ml prompt #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #tikki #plagg #plagg no #ml au #harry potter au #roommates au

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cosmiclatte28 · 4 years ago

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Quarantine (Baekhyun x you; domestic fluff)

I love Domestic Baekhyun and here is more of it

ENJOY! PS. stay happy in quarantine okay, things will get better. We’re all in this together. 💖

You want to go home. You miss the busy street from your home town, you miss your mother's cooking, you miss your cats, and mostly you just miss the feeling of being home. COVID-19 has messed up all of your plans, you're supposed to be at home now with your mother and father, sitting down as you tell them stories from the secret life of dating the young prince of King of KPOP, EXO Baekhyun and right now in a project with SuperM too, The Avengers of KPOP. You bend to turn off the vacuum robot circling the big room. Baekhyun and you have been sharing the roof and sheets after two years of relationship. You were just a student, transferring to Korea and taking some job in one of the uprising firm consultation group. You were supposed to go back after graduating, but the pandemic made it impossible for you to fly back safe. Your parents knew about your relationship with Baekhyun, even your mother is secretly tuning in to UN Village and carefully tries to remember EXO and SuperM. You met Baekhyun not in office, but from a colleague of yours. He invited you to his lunch birthday party only to sit face to face with the man who gives you energies when doing endless home work and quiz. He was Baekhyun, the Baekhyun of EXO, whose songs were on repeat every time you study, the same group where you spent all of your money to. You remember how his friend introduced you that Baekhyun is his best friend, and to your surprise, Baekhyun was so easy to talk to. By the last scoop of ice cream and cake you both have, he already got your number. The next day and night flew by so fast. With small greetings and good night texts, you got closer to him. In six month, he brought you over to his favorite café, handed you a fresh bouquet of roses, and asked the oh so surprising statement. You were so surprised that night, but you made sure to nod your head. With that and one hug, you were now his official girl friend.

Baekhyun made sure you were comfortable with the relationship. He did not tell anyone first, so that you won't be overwhelmed. When you asked why he didn't tell his friends about this, he simply said "Having a relationship is not something I boast around about. I keep my personal life secret. When it is the time, I will make sure to tell everyone. Just be patient okay." You trust him, with all your heart. You cannot hate him, not even when you're annoyed by his eating habit. He kept his promise, after one year of dating you and feeling even more comfortable with you and the relationship; he introduced you to the band. Xiumin, Kyungsoo, and Suho were already away when Baekhyun introduced you to them. You knew Kai even better after visiting them onset for SuperM's comeback. You can keep up with the dating life, because at morning both of you are busy with works, and at night Baekhyun always come back home. With EXO doing sub-unit works, he didn't really stay together. He has his manager to drive him to work and back home. You always make sure to finish your work before going home, so that when you're in his apartment, you can just sit and relax with him. Baekhyun likes to play games, and so are you. The two of you can just sit in his special game room and spend the night screaming into microphone while frantically pressing keyboard and mouse. For your second anniversary, he bought you a gaming set and that was the sweetest thing you did not expect from Baekhyun. However since quarantine, you've been taking your work from home (his home) and he still have to go to the studio to train and record, but other than that he cannot go anywhere. It was fun to see Baekhyun having his comeback and doing a V-live from his bed room. Little did the fans knew, someone else was cooking the food he ate, and his girl is laughing on the living room seeing how Baekhyun still try his best to entertain the fans although situation is challenging. You teased him after he finished his V-live. "Told you, you cannot finish all of it. It's a lot and I know your portion honey." Baekhyun chuckled from his half sleeping state, "I slept a bit." You snickered, "Yeah I saw everything. I even left comments too but did you catch mine?" He yawned, "Too much to see, I mean you can always tell me what's in your mind, so it's their time to share. Thanks for understanding." You cleaned up his plates, "Ah yeah, I get it. Do your job bae, make sure the fans are happy to see you again. This time of life is challenging, so I want you to be their mental and moral support." You understand their feelings, you are one of them, just a lucky one who can win his heart. "Thanks for always understanding. Hey what time is it now in your parent's?" You glanced to the watch, "Night I guess, why?" Baekhyun shrugged, "Ah you missed your time to call them to see my live?" You grinned and giggled, "They will understand, I can call tomorrow." Baekhyun pulled you into his hug, "Okay then, we go to bed now it's late." You pushed him away, "Let me put your plates away. I save my works and we sleep." Baekhyun gave you his cheeky smile, "I love you." "Yeah say that whenever I want to wash your dishes. Smart move eh?" The next quarantine was even funnier with SuperM and his Mtopia series. Watching Mtopia with Baekhyun was even better since he explained things that happened. You also shed tears watching his short drama and you praised him for his acting skills. You remembered seeing Baekyun blushed when you pretended to re-enact the scene. "You know, I am a bit thankful to the flight ban." he said one day when you and him were sitting on the sofa, watching the sun sets. You quirked an eyebrow, pulling your body to sit straight, "What?" He pulled you back into his embrace, "Because you can stay here, and I am happier with you in this challenging time." You smiled, "Well, I am also quite happy to have you here and I like staying here. Would be even better if we have Mongryeong and not a Roomba." Baekhyun laughed at your remark "Well, I can't take Mongryeong here to disturb your work, but a Roomba is enough right for now?" You slapped his arm playfully, "Well at least I don't have to sweep the floor." You made him laugh, "Now that shows how we are even made for each other. We have the same humor. Dry ones." "We just got another level of humor honey." you taunted at him and bend to turn off the Roomba. "If you really like the Roomba that much, I can get you another 10 of those." You deadpanned look at him, "Really? Eleven cleaning robots? No thanks. I'd rather buy your albums or book a flight with you to my parents." "Becaue you know Baekhyun, you're like a high test score..." you looked into his eyes with adoration. "Why?" "Coz I want to take you home and show you to my mother." you stifled a laugh and he burst out laughing too. "She saw me frequently from TV and video calls!" "Yeah but it's unfair how your mother have seen me but my mother hasn't seen you for real." you pinched his cheeks. His crisp laugh erupted, "Who taught you those cheesy pick up lines?" "Running a blog of incorrect SuperM made me research a lot of pick up lines.. cheesy ones, and I am keeping the one I like." "You run a blog?!" Your eyes pop open, "Uh-oh... wrong information.." You escaped from his hug and stood up to run away before he can ask you anything else "Hey why you never tell me anything!" He rose from his seat. "No pretend I said nothing! It's too much information." "Come back here! I want to support you!" "No Baek, I am shy!" you pocket your phone and run away from his chase. The house is big, big enough for two adults to run around and play chase. "I won't let you live if you make me anything weird in the posts." "Uh-oh I am in trouble."

“Stop, okay okay I will tell you! Just stop and stay away okay.” You said between your breaths and he stopped finally. You quickly run away from him once again, this time locking yourself inside the room so he cannot reach you.

“I swear you tricky little peach!” Baekhyun banged on the door when he realized you’ve tricked him and locked him out.

You quickly logged out your tumblr and after some time, reopened the door for Baekhyun.

“What?” you hold your laugh back, there’s no way he will be calm when he sees your post.

“Let’s keep it a secret okay Baekhyun. You heard nothing!” you kissed him quick and he gave up.

“I’ll discover it one day!” his mischievous smile is back on his cute face.

end.

#baekhyun x you #baekhyun x oc #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun domestic fluff #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun imagine #imagine bae #imagine baekhyun #exo imagine #superm imagines #exo fluff #superm fluff #super m fluff #super m imagines #super m fanfic

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the-omni-princess · 5 years ago

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Fleece Navidad

Author: @the-omni-princess

Summary: Your residential frequent flyer has a good reason for wanting to stop by to see you – again.

Prompt: Doctor AU

Word Count: 1.2K

Pairing: Doctor!Latina!Reader x Biker!Bucky

Warnings: Mentions of ER emergencies (including: Stomach related sicknesses, stabbings, broken bones, small cuts, and injuries), cursing

A/N:

This was for @mypassionsarenysins ‘s 1k challenge! Congrats!!! Prompt was Doctor AU #mypassionsarenysins1k

Merry Christmas, Happy First Night of Hanukah, and Happy Holidays!!!

I also have a Stucky fic posting on Christmas (I hope), and another fic posting before the years ended! Hopefully will have started that Blood Bound chapter as well! Have a great holiday guys! <3

[Masterlist]

It was yet another long night with little to no sleep. At the very least, the ER seemed to be mostly empty. A few kids that ate stuff they weren’t supposed to, an accidental hand stabbing in Room 3, and a broken ankle in Room 5. For an ER in Brooklyn at night, it could have been much worse, but it seemed with the oncoming snowstorm, fewer people seemed to be out. Fewer people, fewer emergencies, and a slow night.

It was almost midnight Christmas night, and you sipped on your gingerbread coffee, counting down the minutes until your shift was over and you could spend the next few days on break from work. The nurses on duty had most of the patients covered, while you, the main doctor on duty for another hour, just watched over the few people still here. For once, it was peaceful. That was until your residential frequent flyer strolled in.

James “Bucky” Barnes, the president of the Avengers Motorcycle Club, sauntered in, clutching his arm. His number two and three, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson, by his side, both looking equally bored. “Mr. Barnes,” you sighed softly, letting one of the nurses handle the sick child with food poisoning in Room 2. “To what do I owe the absolute pleasure?” sarcasm dripped like venom in your voice. Overall, the Avengers were a band of Do-gooders, intimidating bikers that protected the people who needed it around town; but lately, their president seemed to have a permanent bed in your ER.

“Aw, doll, it’s good to see you too,” Bucky teased back, grinning as he followed you to Room 4, sitting on the bed. “See it’s not too bad today, just some bruises and cuts, making sure I didn’t break anything is all.” He held out his arm, and sure enough, his wrist was bruised up, swollen, with a bit of blood.

You glanced towards his cohorts, “Do you just let him run into walls like a Roomba?” you looked more annoyed than anything. Sure, this biker was cute – okay fine, hot as fuck – but he tended to just take up space in your ER. Granted, he only seemed to show up when you were on duty and when the ER was slow, but still.

“Aw, doll, you’re no fun. It’s Christmas and you're stuck here,” he pouted as you began to clean and bandage his wrist, quickly figuring out it wasn’t broken and didn’t need stitches. Both of his friends looked at him with a pointed expression when you turned around.

“I’m here because I want to, Barnes. It’s my job.” You finished bandaging him before sitting beside him. “Rogers, Wilson, out. You two can wait in the waiting room.” Both men rushed out the curtain, moving down the hallway quickly. You turned on the biker, your face scrunched up, “How many times do I have to tell you, Bucky? Stay out of my ER! Just because we went on a few dates and have one tomorrow doesn’t mean you can take up space when others might need it.”

Bucky had the decency to look away bashfully, “I didn’t want you to be alone on Christmas, baby doll,” he murmured softly, making you melt.

“Babe, I celebrated Christmas yesterday. Had my sisters over, that’s why I didn’t go out to lunch with you. I’m Latina, I’ve always celebrated Christmas the night before.” You said gently, smiling faintly as he went red.

“Oh-Oh! Fuck, I’m sorry, Sweetheart, I wasn’t thinking-“

“You’re right, you weren’t, but I forgive you,” you teased, kissing his cheek before checking your watch. “I’m off in twenty minutes, think you can have enough patience to wait for me in the waiting room with the boys?”

He nodded quickly, grinning, “Poor guys think I’m a love-sick puppy, following you around.”

“That’s because you are, babe,” you teased, smiling up at him. “You get out of here and tell them either about us or some excuse, I’ll be there when I clock out.”

He stood back up, smiling as he pulled you into his arms. “Promise?”

“Promise,” you kissed his nose, “Now go.”

He reluctantly walked off towards your waiting room while you checked on the last few patients of yours. You quickly said goodbye a few minutes later to your nurses and the doctor rotating onto duty while you clocked out.

When you made your way to the waiting room, Bucky, Steve, and Sam stood there, the latter two with shit-eating grins on their faces. “Should I ask whats got you two so excited?” You teased, unable to stop the smile from your face as Bucky led you out the door and into the chilly weather. No snow this Christmas but still decently cold, which had you shivering in your scrubs. The current fleece sweater you were wearing with the words ‘Fleece Navidad’ and a little sheep wasn’t giving you much warmth as the temperature dropped.

Bucky placed his leather jacket around your shoulders, using the little shuffle you did into the warmth of the leather – the scent of smoky cologne filling your senses – to pull you into his embrace. “I might have told them about us,” he said in a soft voice, tilting your chin up gently.

“Oh, did you now?” You grinned, “Did you also mention that you’re a secret teddy bear that didn’t want his girlfriend to feel lonely on Christmas, so you slammed your hand into a wall?”

Sam snickered behind you, and Bucky shot him a dirty look before softening as he looked back down towards you. “I might have skipped that part. Let me give you a ride home, sweetheart. My ma would kill me if she found out I let you take the subway home this late at night in this weather.” He gently pushed a stray baby hair out of your face, your usual work hairdo messy from the long and hectic shift.

“Only if you can promise me hot cocoa and dancing to Christmas Frank Sinatra record.”

“Deal,” he pulled you closer, making a shooing motion towards his friends as he finally closed the distance and kissed you softly. Slow movements underneath the spell of each other, gentle caresses, not caring about the intruders to your little moment.

“Not to make this even cuter, but you guys are even under the mistletoe!” Steve teased, Sam and him chuckling as the leaned on the wall near their bikes.

You looked up, and sure enough, one of your coworkers had taped a small bundle of mistletoe above your heads. Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle, tugging you impossibly closer. “Perfect,” he kissed your nose, absentmindedly noticing it was growing cold, making you melt with his charming and goofy smile. “Merry Christmas, baby girl.”

“Merry Christmas, Bucky.” Surrounded by the lights of a distance ambulance leaving the lot and the bright white lights of the inside of the ER, you couldn’t help but compare it to the holiday lights strung around the rest of the city, bathing you and Bucky with holiday warmth as Carol of the Bells begun to play in some café down the street. This right here, with the man you were slowly but quickly falling in love with, was the most perfect end to your holiday than you could have dreamt of.

---

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asherranceoftheheart · 5 years ago

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Icarus Falls - III - The Good Doctor Comes Home

Story Summary: “You’ll never leave me alone right?“ “You think I’d actually let you go?”

A story about the slow descent and corruption of a lonely man, a demon who learns that bonds go both ways, brothers who deeply regrets their words spoken out of anger, and a conflicted man watching them all fall down from the distance. Here’s a Puppet!Chase AU that was written with extreme self-indulgence so beware and read the tags before entering.

Chapter Summary: Chapter title says it all lol but also a breather chapter Pairing/s: None, Platonic Character/s: Jack McLoughlin, Chase Brody, Antisepticeye, Henrik Von Schneeplestein, Mentions of Other Septic Egos Genre: Angst, Fluff Chapter Warning/s: Self-Deprecating Thoughts (Thoughts like I’m not as good as the others, etc.), Sadness, extremely vague mentions of torture (Archive Of Our Own Edition) (Prev. Chapter)

Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up feeling both numb, and raw and sensitive on the inside and thinking ‘Ah. It’s one of those days…’ and wondering if it’s even worth the effort to open your eyes and move?

Chase felt emotionally and physically drained with a rocking throbbing headache as he woke up in a cold empty bed, tucked in like a child under the blankets. He stared up at the ceiling blankly, looking and thinking of nothing in particular until the memories began to come in crystal clear film in his mind. His hand twitched as he remembered the warmth of another person enveloping him even if that person had been his mortal enemy.

A part of him wanted to hate himself for missing, for yearning for the addicting affectionate touches that his enemy showered him with while he had been dreadfully sick. After all, had he become so desperate after nearly nine months of having no positive physical contact with other people that he would take comfort in the demon who was the main cause for why it was happening in the first place? However, a bigger part of himself was just tired, so very tired of the constant emotional olympics his self-hatred would force him to go through every single day.

He closed his eyes and for a moment, he allowed his own mind and heart to fool himself and pretend that the last part of yesterday never happened. He chose to believe in the fleeting happiness of the illusion that his best friend had never gone into a coma and tht Anti was merely a part of an excruciatingly long nightmare.

When he opened his eyes again, the sun had gone down outside but he can’t find the energy in himself to give a fuck about time moving on without him.

Chase heard his phone buzz with new notifications. He stomped down the flickering spark of hope that it would be any of his brothers finally answering his messages and calls. He knows that he can’t keep blocking out the world like this especially when the world needs him to be Jack McLoughlin so with an exhausted grunt, he slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position and reached over to the left bedside drawer to grab his phone.

He pressed the button on the side and was relieved to see that it was just Doctor Adam rather than one of Jack’s friends asking Jack if he was alright.

Dr. Adam: Mr. Brody? You haven’t replied to my messages for a while. Is everything alright?

The concern from the doctor melted some of the ice numbing his heart. This man really reminded him of Henrik albeit softer and more formal.

Chase: I’m ok doc. But I don’t think I’ll be able to drop by for a while. Think I caught a bug on the way back or something and I don’t want to transfer any of it to Jack. I’ll try to take a few more days off until I’m sure I’m okay. :)

Dr. Adam: Ah! I thought so… You’ve never missed a day visiting your brother unless you were really sick. So I was worried. But since you said that you’re okay I have to trust that you know yourself and your limits by now. Do take care of yourself! Get a lot of sleep, eat something even if it’s just buttered toast (altho I would prefer if you ate healthier foods…), drink lots of liquid, and make sure you take your medicine.

Chase: Yea, I’ve been doing all that Just keep me updated on Jack pls?

Dr. Adam: But of course, I know how much you worry over your brother. Anyway, I’ll leave you to rest. I hope you get well soon!

‘I hope I do too, Doc.’ Chase wiped a hand over his weary face with a loud sigh.

He placed his phone down on his bed when his eyes caught sight of something sharing the same drawer that his phone had been placed in earlier. It was his medicine and it was placed on top of what appeared to be a note. He knows what the pills were obviously for but the note awakened some of his curiosity and anger.

It was obvious who wrote that note.

He wanted to run over to his desk and grab his lighter to burn that seemingly innocent looking white paper as anybody with a shred of common sense should. However he knows himself. He knows his curiosity over what the note would contain would itch at him for a long long time if he didn’t find out what it said.

He inhaled deeply and slowly let the air out as a low hiss through gritted teeth while he mussed up his already messed up hair.

“Fucker,” Chase insulted both the demon for taking advantage of his thrice damned curiosity that could rival the stubbornness of a spoiled cat, and himself for falling for this obvious show of manipulation as he forced his arm to reach out and grabbed the paper.

He crumpled the note into a wrinkly ball and stared down at it with some trepidation. What horrific message will this paper contain? Was it going to contain some blackmail worthy secret? Maybe taunt him for his complete breakdown yesterday? Jesus Christ… He literally fell apart on top of the bastard. He’d wish he could erase the memory but Anti would probably take that as permission to completely fuck him up mentally and maybe possess him as a little treat.

Well, he can’t keep stalling for more time like a coward. He uncrumpled the paper, smoothing it out on his covered lap, and read it with some trepidation.

One pill every eight hours from the moment you wake up. Going to be busy for a while. Don’t wait up for me, little brother. You’re still sick so don’t have a breakdown every other hour. Remember I’M ALWAYS WATCHING

Chase stared down at the note that was practically dripping with sarcasm with an expressionless gaze. A form of calm had settled down upon him and he almost absentmindedly started to rip the note in half. He doesn’t know what to feel about the laughably simple note. Should he get angry? Should he spend the time away from the bastard trying to decode some sort of hidden message from it?

In the end, he decided that it wasn’t worth the energy to get annoyed or obsessed over the taunt. He spent the next few minutes tearing the note into teeny tiny pieces before he left it scattered all over the top of his lap in unsalvageable scraps.

The ripping and tearing actually brought him some satisfaction which he relished in no matter how tiny it was. He swept the mess off his bed with a wide wave and watched it free fall to the floor like snow during winter. The man slid off his bed and spitefully ignored the medicine before he dragged himself over to the bathroom to freshen up.

He took a short shower, changed into fresh new indoor clothes, and dried his hair with a towel before brushing it up until it stayed neat and fluffy on his head. A sudden burst of productive energy suddenly shot through his entire body when he looked over the entirety of his room and realized just how filthy he had let it become over the months.

Chase could almost hear Anti sneering at him at the back of his head, telling him how useless and broken he was when nobody is there to pull him forward like a fucking donkey.

A massive wave of spite mixed in with his burst of energy and he began walking around the room to gather up his dirty clothes to put inside a hamper that he carried over to his laundry room to load up inside the washing machine. Then before working the machine, he went back to his room to change his bed sheets and blanket to a clean one before hefting them all up to the laundry room. While the washer was humming and vibrating as it got to work, he grabbed two big trash bags from his current location before he walked back to his bedroom.

The first step to feeling better after another one of your long episodes is to clear up the clutter that built up around you. It will help you associate clearing up as another way of resetting your own point of view.

A tiny smile twitched up at the corner of his lips as Henrik’s gruff but gentle voice as he coaxed him from his bed in the past. He separated his trash into two bags and straightened up to look around his now cleaner room. Chase tied up the trash bags so that none of them would spill out before he opened up his window and smiled faintly at the refreshing evening breeze that brushed against his heated face.

Then he walked over to his closet to bring out the Roomba that he hasn’t used for a while, letting out a victorious ‘heh’ when it still worked and placed it in the middle of his room before turning it on to roam around the floor to suck up the dust that built up over the past months.

He gave his cleaner and brighter bedroom another look over with satisfaction pulsing in his chest before making two trips up and down the stairs to take out the trash that he just collected and move the piled up dirty mugs on his desk down to the kitchen.

“How’s this for being useless and broken, asshole?” Chase spitefully said into the empty air towards the absent being who insulted him daily when he was there. “Fuck you.”

Chase huffed to himself in the middle of the kitchen while he was crouched over his dishwasher, loading it up with all the dirty dishes. After he closed the thing’s door, he realized as his stomach growled rather loudly, that he was pretty hungry.

“I’m hungry but I’m not in the mood for anything too heavy or chewy…” Chase hummed while he browsed the contents of his fridge. He leaned over and grabbed the covered bowl at the back of the fridge. “Oh hey, this was the cream of mushroom soup I ordered a week ago… It doesn’t smell bad so I guess it’s still fine!”

He heated it up on the stove before scooping them all up into a clean bowl. He placed a spoon with it before he walked over to the living room. Chase turned on the TV before laying on his side at the couch while he slurped up his soup.

‘Man… If Hen was here he’d probably be telling me that this soup isn’t healthy enough for me,’ Chase chuckled to himself, eyes misting over with nostalgia over the memories of his most fussy older brother. ‘Then he’d threaten to tie me up on a chair and feed me his horrid homemade food.’

Henrik might be one of the smartest people in the world but his cooked food… There’s a reason why he was never allowed to cook for them during their weekly gatherings. He remembered Marvin telling him a story about his first time of coming into contact with Henrik’s Mystery Food and swearing on his name and magic that it had a living soul.

“It’s not that bad!” He would hear Henrik stomping his feet on the floor while imagining the lethal glare he’d give his brothers while they gently redirected him even as he’s protesting the discrimination loudly from the kitchen.

“Henrik please… Every single bite Jackie makes of your food immediately sends him to the hospital and you of all people know that he’s immune to nearly all sorts of poison.” Jack squeezed the fuming doctor’s tensed shoulders in an attempt to calm him down.

“Come on, Jack-Jack. You don’t have to sweeten the truth up for our mother hen,” Marvin’s delighted and mischief-filled voice would snicker from the other room where he was probably curled up on the floor near the window to get the maximum sunshine. “Henrik, your food tastes so bad that Jackie’s mind blocked out any memory of the taste to protect him from relieving the trauma.”

“As if your cooking is any better!” Henrik would shoot back scathingly.

“At least I can survive on it on my own and feed some of it to others!” Marvin would have puffed up as he readied himself for their banter.

“Guys please,” Jackie, ever the peacemaker, would try to calm the duo down while Jack wouldn’t even try and raise the white flag the second they start.

Chase laughed to himself at the present time as he recalled the loud racket Marvin and Henrik would make while they exchanged light-hearted insults. He would’ve been in the kitchen, humming and smiling while he busied himself with his cooking. A few minutes later would find Creator and Hero skulking back to his safe grounds with their tails tucked neatly between their legs and trying to help him but he’d just easily shoo them off to pout at the kitchen table.

‘I wish Jamie had experienced that before everything went to complete shit,’ Chase’s smile turned bittersweet at that stray thought. ‘Henrik and Jack would’ve loved him. He and Hen would probably spend some nights drinking tea in the middle of the night with each other. He’d have helped curtail some of Marvy’s sharp nature with a light smack on the shoulder. Jackie would’ve been so glad to have someone helping him act as the peacemaker of the family. Jack… Jack would’ve adored him. He’d gush about how Jamie was so spirited, so sassy, expressive and—and how he and Marvy always loved so fiercely…’

Chase licked his spoon clean (Marvin would’ve been looking at him with disgust and tell him that he’s a mannerless savage which… bold words for someone who would lick their balls while in their cat form) and dropped it down with a loud ear ringing clang on the now empty bowl before placing them on the living room table. He scooched over and laid down on his back on the couch and crossed his arms at the back of his head as a makeshift pillow while he reminisced.

Anti might insult him for doing nothing else but think of the past but it was the only thing that gave Chase the energy to keep moving forward even if he didn’t really want to. For the sake of all his loved ones who would’ve wanted to experience those memories in the future with them after all of these bullshit… Yeah, he’d trudge through all the painful days for them.

He closed his eyes and tried his darnest to remember anything memorable that had happened since the others left him behind but other than Anti’s unforgettable presence, everything else passed by in a blur.

“Damn,” Chase sighed, his smile lacking any light nor humor to it. “Anti really had a point when he said that I’m useless without the others huh?”

It is not your fault, Chase. Depression has the tendency to mix all your memories together in an unrecognizable blur. Do not worry. We are always here to help you remember.

“Unfortunately Doc,” Chase sighed as he sat up and grabbed the dirty bowl and spoon to place them together in the washer. “The only person left who’ll help me remember the past months is a complete bastard who I wouldn’t entrust my head to even if I had to choose between him and pain.”

Not that he really wanted to remember anything… He’s pretty sure that if he remembered anything it would just be of him whining about his loneliness, Anti fucking him up, and trying to keep up the Jack mask so that nobody else would find out that something had gone wrong.

He went back upstairs and moved the wet clothes from the washing machine to the dryer and loaded up the dirty bed sheets and blanket to the washing machine before heading straight for his bedroom. The Roomba died under his desk, having lost all of its battery while he was downstairs, and he scrounged through his dark closet for its charging adapter. Once the Roomba was set up and charging, he changed into his new pajamas and slipped back under his blankets.

He continued ignoring the set of pills on the drawer and turned on his side so that he could curl up under the sheets. Chase powered on Jack’s phone and waited for it to load so that he could check the comatose man’s social media. Another mentally and emotionally draining part of his imitation job was to maintain the Jack mask while pretending that the man was A-Okay and there was no reason for concern.

First, he pulled up Twitter and made a face when he realized that somebody posted something on the account while he was sick. Thank god it was just a little message to everyone that he was going to be on a break for a while because he was sick. It was still creepy that Anti could perfectly copy Jack’s mannerisms as he looked through the little retweets-interaction with everybody. Even he had some hard time fully copying his best friend’s posting quirks.

Either way, it was still annoying and stressful to Chase how the demon could keep pulling these kinds of shit with Jack’s social media. Maybe he should change to passwords and login info to everything while Anti was god knows where.

…

Chase sighed and shrugged. Then again, it’s not like that would be effective anyway. He knows that Anti was the one who keeps reblogging art of himself on the tumblr account even though he was pretty sure he changed the password nearly fifty times over the past few months. It never fazed him.

Speaking of tumblr… A part of him wanted to resent the community for giving the demon so much power through their attention via art, theories, and stories but he knows that it wouldn’t be fair of him to blame them for something that is completely out of their control. It’s not like they knew that the thing with Anti which they knew to be an ‘ARG-like’ story for the channel was actually his and his brother’s reality. Most of them were just people who were enthusiastic for the escapism their ‘story’ provided and he couldn’t exactly fault them for that.

He decided to update twitter that he’s feeling much better than before and that he’ll go back to filming videos tomorrow. The replies were almost immediate as the community reassured him that it would be fine if he took more days off to recover fully and he can’t help but smile at their unending support even if it was actually directed towards Jack. He knows that they wouldn’t mind it if he took an entire week off but he gets really antsy when he’s not putting up any content for the channel.

It feels like if he doesn’t keep it up, there’ll be nothing left for Jack to wake up to, all the hard work he put into this channel and community has been one of his brother’s ultimate joys. He doesn’t want to see Jack’s devastation if he also loses the community that he so dearly loved to the coma.

Besides… It’s not like he can afford to slack off while the others are trying their hardest to save Jack. This and taking care of Jack was the only thing that he could do to be of some use rather than become another burden to his brothers.

After he read and replied to a few more retweets, he turned off Twitter and moved his attention to the other big gathering place for the community. He tapped Tumblr’s app button and scrolled down Jack’s blog and let out a sharp, annoyed exhale when he saw that Anti had been busy reblogging things related to him or him torturing the other egos while Chase had been indisposed. A lot of the theorists hit the nail on the head when they theorized that the one who had been reblogging Anti-related things without any caption had been Anti.

It must have been something about Tumblr’s wonky programming but Anti can’t say anything or it’ll come out all glitched and zalgoed. Of course, he could’ve gotten maximum attention that way but he probably thought that it would be much better to have the fans stewing and trying to obsess over every single action that may or may not relate to Anti by having it all be a mystery.

Sometimes Chase wondered if maybe he and his brothers could make use of the community’s eagle-eyed observations that tend to hit right most of the time to help them find out a way to save Jack. He’s lost count of how many times they’ve managed to notice something that he hasn’t noticed such as a little subtle glitch on the video’s audio, a flash of someone in the back of his facecam, or even changes in the description or titles of the videos that was definitely not made by him.

Their skills would’ve been impressive if it wasn’t downright frightening for how obsessed they seem to be with Anti.

He reblogged a few cool artworks and edits with little words of encouragement under their captions. Then he’d like some of the little sneak peeks to the daily lives of the community members that always made him smile because at least these funky little people are doing their best to live. It’s a nice reminder and boost to the morale that there was a reason why he was also doing this other than to keep the channel up and running for Jack’s comeback.

Chase stretched out his arms and legs with a jawbreaking yawn as he felt the sleepiness settle in. He looked at the time on his phone and made a face when he saw how late it was. No wonder his eyes were starting to blur with sleep. He decided to set his alarm clock up for the morning. He’s gotta wake up early to prepare himself to go under the Jack mask and record a video after all.

The tired man scooched underneath the blanket, covering himself up to his bed and curled up into a tight ball while tugging the sheets around him. A spark of pride welled up inside his chest when he thought back on how he managed to do a little bit of productivity in tidying up his bedroom. While he definitely started out the day rough and numb, he managed to salvage it by the end.

At the end of the day, it’s these teeny tiny baby steps that would bring you much farther than you thought when you look back in the future. So do not sell yourself short, Chase Brody.

Never forget that we are always proud of you no matter how inconsequential you believe your little progress was.

Henrik’s gruff but gentle voice echoed through his mind, easily drowning out all the insecurities and dark voices sneering at him for his pride. For the first time in a long while, Chase fell asleep with a faint but sincere smile on his lips.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

“Maybe you should’ve jumped higher for that trick shot so that you wouldn’t have fallen over and broken your foot,” Jack’s voice shook with silent laughter as he leaned on Chase’s side while they both watched Henrik scrambling around, fussing over Chase’s foot that was placed in a cast, and fluffing up pillows to squeeze behind Chase’s back while he’s relaxed on the couch and worrying his head over whether his broken foot was raised high enough.

Henrik spun around and levelled a death glare towards his creator who instinctively raised both hands in a show of harmlessness, the doctor bared his teeth at him, “If you keep encouraging him to do more reckless acts I will break your own leg.”

Chase coughed and choked on a laugh and gave his doctor older brother a smile full of innocence and sunshine when he swiftly turned around to glare at him as well while Jack sputtered in the background. Jackie was dying on the floor. He sounded like he was about to upgrade from his booming cackling to wheezing, dying laughter.

“Wh— You took an oath to never harm another human when you became a doctor!” Chase turned his head to look at Jack when he felt him sitting up straight and leaning forward with an outraged look.

“I did no such thing,” Henrik snubbed. “It was whichever fake Schneeplestein that magic made to explain my existence in this universe that made such an oath.”

“You’re still a doctor!” Jack yelled vehemently, slapping a hand on his knees.

Henrik sniffed. He looked down at Jack from behind his nose and made him feel like he was some worm tainting the bottom of his shiny shoes. Then the doctor dramatically turned his back on the pouting man obviously giving him the cold shoulder.

“Chaaaase,” Jack twisted his body to ‘sob’ into his best friend’s shoulder. “Henny’s being mean to me again!”

“There, there,” Chase snickered as he patted the older man’s curly hair. “I won’t let the big bad doctor bully you anymore.”

Jack turned his head so that his cheek was pressed on top of Chase’s shoulder and he stuck his tongue out at Henrik who rolled his eyes back at him.

A massive white maine coone glided into the chaotic living room, jumping up on the back of the couch, and strolled over to smack Jack’s face with his outrageously long and fluffy tail—while ignoring the annoyed yelp ‘Marvin!’ before the poor man started sneezing and cursing the magician’s existence—as he slid down a bemused Chase’s torso into his lap. He rubbed his fluffy body against his little brother’s chest with a loud meow for his greeting.

“Hey to you too, Marvy,” Chase chuckled as the cat began to purr.

Marvin’s purr grew louder until he was practically like a growling motorcycle and arched his spine when Chase’s fingers stroked him from the bridge of his pink nose down to his tailbone. The heavy white cat kneaded his claws into Chase’s baggy shorts before circling around—ignoring Chase’s agonized groan at his weight—and curling up into a smug self-satisfied ball on his lap.

“You satisfied now, Drama Queen?” Chase teased the magician with a fond smile while he scratched the cat on the perfect spot behind his ears. “I think we should put your cat form on a diet. You’re getting pretty heavy.”

The cat nipped at his fingers with a hint of a warning bite but Chase just tapped his prickly older brother on his nose as a gentle reprimand. He only got a bunch of annoyed chattering for his daring gall to touch his majesty.

“Marvin, you better not bite anyone again,” Henrik dryly warned the magician who hissed at him. “Don’t think I can’t sedate you into going to the vet and getting you neutered.”

Marvin let out an offended yowl and attempted to stuff his massive unit of a body under Chase’s shirt, drawing giggles from the man who tried pushing his fluffy butt away as his squirming body dragged his soft fur over his ticklish stomach.

“Marvin, you fucker!” Chase squealed and tried to pull out the squirming cat who somehow managed to find the perfect position and perk out only his head from under his shirt. “Really? You’re going to subject me to your stinky butt for the entire movie marathon?”

His only response was a thick tail that thwapped his sputtering face.

“Aww… It’s just his way of showing you his love, Chasey-wasey,” Jackie giggled without looking up from his phone. “Also I can’t blame Marv for wanting to snuggle up to you. You’re like a portable heater slash teddy bear.”

“Yeah well, I’d say Marvy would be like a teddy bear too if it weren’t for the fact that he weighs like a rock on top of my kidneys,” Chase deadpanned before smacking Marvin’s back through his shirt irritably. “Use your claws on me again and I’ll neuter you myself without the help of a vet.”

Jack snickered at the irritated mewl from the cat while Henrik huffed and rolled his eyes at their antics. The doctor sat on the right couch seat and pulled the side lever up so that he could fully recline his body and feet. Jack leaned over and grabbed the remote from the table in front of him and Chase.

“Everybody finally settled down for our movie night?” He asked, just to make sure so that nobody would suddenly whine in that childish sort of voice that he didn’t wait for them again.

coughJackiecough

Jackie gave him a thumbs up and finally looked up from his phone. He was laying on his stomach on the blanket he set on the floor with a variety of pillows forming his nest around him. His own bowl of popcorn and a massive bottle full of Sprite was set in front of him.

Chase makes an agreeing grunt while he leaned on him on his side, taking care not to move his cast while Marvin chirruped from under his shirt, his little head poking out directing his nose to the bowl of popcorn on the table. Henrik just shrugged and gestured his head towards the screen.

“Just get on with it. If anybody was not ready I am sure that they’ll be letting out some godforsaken complaint through their loud mouths,” Henrik scathingly said but his eyes glimmered with laughter, taking off the bite from his words. He merely arched an eyebrow at everyone when they childishly stuck out their tongues at him.

Jack huffed and shook his head at the brotherly banters. No family activity would be the same without these chaotic preparations and quips from the others. He pressed play on the remote and started the movie. He sat back on the couch with Chase, his smile unconsciously growing wider when the youngest ego scooched closer to him.

…

“Is he asleep?” Henrik asked in a hushed tone as he craned his neck to look at Chase’s face which was hiding away against Jack’s side.

Jack nodded with a gentle smile and pressed a finger against his lips in the universal sign for silence. He slowly began to shift himself so that he could move Chase into laying down fully on the couch and for his head to be placed on his lap. Henrik assisted him, carrying the younger ego’s legs into the couch and made sure that his injured foot was raised with a few pillows propped underneath and around it to keep it from moving.

Chase made a soft noise and pressed his cheek on Jack’s stomach while the older man petted his head, idly rubbing a thumb against the healed over scar that would ache from time to time especially when Chase is particularly emotional. The sleeping man sighed contentedly in his sleep and murmured something far too unintelligible for either man to hear. Henrik grabbed one of the free blankets remaining to place it over Chase, tucking him under the warm sheets.

“I’ll get the other blankets—Marvin!” Henrik hissed as the cat that had been watching them from the table, slowly walked over to jump on Chase’s chest. Chase’s breath hitched but thankfully he didn’t wake up. Chase wrapped his arms around the cat who had stretched himself out over his little brother’s body and tucked his head under his chin. “You’re so lucky he’s a heavy sleeper. If you woke him up I would have shaved you, you needy cat.”

The cat flicked his ears at Henrik and made a show of nuzzling the bottom of Chase’s chin and purring almost as loud as a starting motorcycle to spite the doctor by showing just how comfortable he was in his makeshift bed.

Jack rolled his eyes at the little drama queen before he looked back at Henrik with a pleading smile, “Blankets please? It’s pretty chilly around here at night.”

Henrik sighed and nodded. He carefully maneuvered himself out of the crowded living room. Jackie had spreaded out his entire body on his own side of the room, snoring lightly while drool trailed down his cheek. Henrik made sure that he didn’t touch on the territory of the unknowing human venus flytrap who’d snap his arms around your legs in a flash the moment you stepped within his area of attack. Last time one of them (poor Marvin… despite screaming and trying to squirm out of those iron arms...) fell for that trap, they had to deal with a clingy as a leech Jackie for the entire night.

He went upstairs to grab extra blankets and pillows for him and Jack since someone (Jackie…) hoarded most of them for their nest and one of the original blankets was placed over Chase. When he went back down, Marvin was already asleep, his cat body slowly moved up and down to his rhythmic breathing. Jack was staring down at Chase’s face with a blank look which generally meant that the man was probably thinking something that was bothering him again.

As he passed by his creator, he gave the man a gentle smack on the back of his head with his elbow. “This is not the time for complicated thoughts. This is family time.”

Jack jolted at the hit and his voice, turning his head to make a silly face at him.

“I know, I know, I just can’t help it, Hen,” Jack sighed and patted Chase’s head. He peered at the doctor when he saw what he was carrying. “Huh, you got those from the closet in the hallway?”

“Where else would I get it? Here,” Henrik made Jack lean over so that he could place two pillows on the back of his neck. “Support for your neck.”

“Thanks,” the other man gave him a thumbs up with one of his free hands. “Can you uh place my blanket over my lap? I’ll move Chase’s head a bit.”

“Wait your impatient butt. I am just going to move around the couch.” Henrik said as he walked over to his own spot to drop his pillows and blanket before moving over to Jack.

Jack carefully lifted Chase’s head so that Henrik could slip the blanket over his lap. He absentmindedly rubbed a thumb over the sleeping man’s head when his brows furrowed at the movement and he looked like he was about to wake from his sleep. Thankfully, he settled down once he was returned to his previous position only he curled closer to his creator’s warmth.

“Ah man, Chase really is the best little brother I could ever ask for,” Jack sighed with a fond smile softening the weariness from his face.

Henrik snorted, giving Chase a little pat on his head before he walked back to his couch chair and dropped his body on it.

“And you say you don’t play favorites,” Henrik accusingly narrowed his eyes at Jack who stuck his tongue out at him.

“And I’ll keep saying it no matter how much you guys accuse me of it,” Jack grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

The doctor rolled his eyes before spreading his own blanket over him. He turned over on his side and snubbed Jack with his back, ignoring the ‘Oh real mature, Henrik!’ that Jack shot towards him quietly.

“Goodnight Mister McLoughlin,” Henrik said in the snobbiest tone he could muster.

“Are you seri— Oh whatever, goodnight to you too, Doctor Schneeplestein.” He heard Jack huff and mutter something incomprehensible with his distance under his breath.

Henrik stifled a smile and his chuckle as he felt his creator fake pouting even with his back turned against him.

As he closed his eyes, he was highly aware of the sounds of soft breathing (or snoring in Jackie’s case…) coming from everyone in the room and he thinks that it’s the most beautiful sound he has ever heard his entire life.

He wished that he could stay in this single moment in time for as long as he wanted, to engrave it in his memories for when the nights are cold and when deep regrets are keeping him awake.

0-0-0-0-0

“Testing! Teeeeesting… Alright, the mic and audio seems to be okay,” Chase squinted at his face cam, flicking a finger in front of its lens to get its autofocus clearing up on his face. He brightened up when the camera finally focused just right! “Attaboy! Now we can finally start recording.”

He’s done his vocal warmups before he started setting up everything and even made sure that the house was nice and locked up and made sure that he doesn’t need to go for a pee break for one to two hours. Those moments are always a hassle and awkward for him and Robin to cut out. Not to mention it’s always a bit of a distraction especially when he is finally in the zone for the camera.

He also has his own lil water container filled with delicious fresh water in front of him, out of the camera’s point of view, just so he could freshen up his voice from all the screaming and yelling that he was about to do. While voice cracks are fun to jump from from a comedic point, it’s not nice to be known as the loudest Irish youtuber who still has voice cracks like a teenager going through puberty.

The phone has been muted and set on vibrate, and the games have been pulled up and listed on his desktop ready for recording!

Today’s video recording theme is… those medical surgery related games.

It had been an idea that had been drifting around his mind for a while but he didn’t have the mental and emotional energy to bother with the vivid reminders of his missing older brother. Maybe this was just another way of spiting Anti for what he had done to him a two days ago in his vulnerable state just like how his sudden burst of energy fueled him to prove that he wasn’t completely useless all alone by tidying up his wreck of a room in the middle of the night.

He knew that Anti seems to have it out for Henrik just as personally as he has it out for Jack since any mention of his brother has the demon hissing and spitting rage which he found rather peculiar since he’d have thought that the demon would be using what he’s doing to Henrik as another one of his taunts and considering he probably has the upper hand over the doctor right now. He stopped mentioning Henrik after that one moment when Anti had gone frighteningly still with his eyes glowing bloody murder towards him and then disappeared for a few hours. When he came back, he was covered in blood and Chase wisely didn’t ask him from whom it came from.

Since then, they never talked about it although Anti’s presence would be unbearable whenever he played any medical related game since it always felt like the demon was breathing down his neck (although knowing his luck he probably did but since he didn’t care enough to turn around and see that horrifying sight he’d like to believe that it never happened) just daring him to mention anything about his beloved doctor of a brother. The only time Anti made any comment about Henrik was literally that postcard hack on tumblr. That was a hell of a thing to open the app to.

He could feel the smugness rolling off Anti’s shadowed corner in waves during that day and he had to stop himself from vaulting over the couch to grab the demon who’s been pestering (severe understatement, he knows but still—) him for months and demand what the fuck he’s planning with the postcard.

Anyway, now that Anti wasn’t here (and thank fuck for that) he’s free to record and post this fun little thing for the channel. Honestly, it’s pretty odd to have the past two days of complete silence from Anti but it was also extremely refreshing and absolutely rejuvenating for his spirit. Oh, he didn’t doubt the ‘Always Watching’ threat from his last note but this was the most peaceful and private he’s been for the past months.

Chase adjusted the headset over his ears, checking to make sure that it wasn’t uncomfortable, before he stretched out his arms and body for the long recording session, releasing a satisfied groan at the obscenely loud cracks that his joints made with the stretch.

Okay… Close your eyes…

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

In the next few hours, Chase Brody will not exist. Instead, another man will take his place. How would he react to certain things and events? How would he act out a carefree skit of a parodied impersonation of their resident doctor?

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Turn the chair around and…

Click

Something snaps into place as his lips stretched itself out into a familiar crooked goofy grin at the sound of his mouse clicking. The metaphorical mask slipping over his face felt so much more natural than when it was taken off at this point in time. He swung his chair around and greeted the invisible audience on the other side of the screen.

“Hello and welcome back! I am Doctor Jacksepticeye,” he both recognizes and doesn’t recognize the face that was looking back at him on the recording screen, “and welcome to my ER!”

It was easy, always so so easy to step into his shoes, to become someone who is dearly beloved by so many people, to become someone who has inspired this community to follow him. Every time he slips this mask on for the screen he always experienced this high knowing that for once he won’t be someone who was miserably alone and useless to his loved ones. If he immersed himself deeper into this mask, he could even believe that the people are seeing him and not Jack but that’s a thought that he’d brush off the moment it lingers at the surface of his mind.

However, while it was highly tempting to keep the mask up even by his lonesome, it always faded away the moment the camera stopped and left him far more drained than before he started recording.

Stop. Don’t think about that now.

Chase does not exist at this very moment.

Only Jack remained with that cheerful smile on his lips.

Finally, he allowed himself to fade into the background and push that persona forward to take his place.

In the next blink, Chase closed his eyes and Jack opened them.

0-0-0-0-0

The deep blue sky stretched over the horizon.

It was much too big. Much too hopeful.

It was too much for him who has been stuck in the darkness with no one but Him for company—

No.

Do not think.

Not yet.

Later. Yes, later. In safety. In his family’s safety and warmth.

The door had been unlocked. Why? Why had it been unlocked?

Then he was running, stumbling about in the abyss like a drunk and suddenly there was light—

It had been too bright, too warm on his cold skin that it felt like it was burning his flesh off like the hot po—

No. Regroup. Stop.

Do. Not. Think. About. It.

He ran and ran and ran amongst the crowd, deaf to the rude words that had been tossed towards his way when he crashed into someone and jumped away as if he had been shocked, deaf to the concerned strangers’ questions before he shoved their wandering hands away.

Don’t touch him. Don’t fucking touch him!

It hurts. His eyes hurt. His ears hurt.

It’s so loud. He missed the blissfully subtle static that always kept him company in his cell—

Stop speaking… Stop speaking! Shut up… Shut up. Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup—

The colors began to shift around him and they… became familiar? Familiar streets. Familiar names.

There was that sound from the annoying dog barking from a neighbor’s—

Ah.

This must be another one of his games.

The front garden was unkempt. Why was it unkempt? There were no flowers blooming from the bushes that looked as dry and thirsty as he normally felt. His little brother loved—loves his gardening hobby. He loves seeing the smiles of the passersby and his family when they see the colorful flowers he’d carefully tend to every week.

Yes, this was just further proof that this was all an illusion. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tell Him to stop this farce. However, he knows that he must continue the show lest He becomes angry for his disobedience once more.

He walked on. There. The front door was in front of him. Instinctively, he reached into his coat’s pocket (since when had he started wearing this coat?) and of course, of course, the key was there.

The door is opened and he is greeted by a cold, silent hou…

No.

Wait.

He looked up. There was a voice. It was faint but there it is.

Which show was he putting on this time? A replay of that fateful day? Or perhaps it was another one of those games where He makes him pretend that he was finally free?

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

He walked up the stairs.

One.

Two.

Three.

The fourth door.

The Recording Room.

What sort of cruel joke awaits him behind this door he wondered?

He was tired. So so tired… Perhaps if he pretended to be the brave, cool headed doctor that he had been He would grow bored of this show quick.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

The ice on the doorknob was a welcome sting to his constantly wandering, constantly moving mind. It keeps him still. Keeps him in the moment just like all of the pain—

Take all the shattered pieces of your bravery now, good doctor, and let it all out…

The door was flung open and the familiar—unfamiliar man in the room spun around in his chair and looked up at his heaving, shuddering body with a wide-eyed look. Yes, that face—that impossible face was the face of a comatose man as He often taunted him during their sessions— sat in front of him just told him that this was all just another one of His cruel mind games.

A flash of anger.

A dash of fear.

Then the ridiculous words streamed out of his lips as he pointed a shaking accusing finger angrily, fearfully at the shocked mirage before him.

“I-I am the good doctor,” he started, his voice growing louder to mask the racing, thundering heart attempting to rip itself out of his chest, “and that is my chair!”

“... Henrik?” At that trembling, fragile voice, the mirage shattered and suddenly his baby brother, the one who has always looked up to him like he knew all of the secrets held within this universe… the younger brother who had always, always undervalued his own existence… The baby brother that he so dearly loved was looking up at him, no traces of the impossible man were left behind. “Henrik, is that you?”

And for a second, he allowed his guard to drop, allowing the fragile piece of hope in his chest to wriggle up the surface of his beaten heart.

“Help me,” he begged. His voice was painfully raw and vulnerable as it clawed itself out of his throat.

Then as if he was just a puppet whose cruel puppeteer cut his strings out of nowhere just because he had grown bored of his broken toy, he crumpled forward, all remaining energy in his pathetically weak body dropping to a complete zero, and his legs toppled underneath him. He braced himself to meet the cold unforgiving floor of his cell while his warden cackled at his show of weakness…

But it never came.

Instead, someone caught his body and he was suddenly engulfed in that familiar softness and warmth as two arms gently but firmly wrapped themselves around his bony waist.

“I gotcha… I gotcha big bro. I gotcha,” Henrik closed his eyes and in a fit of broken exhaustion allowed himself to believe in this dream.

“Don’t let this be a dream,” he whimpered. “Don’t… Don’t let me wake up—”

“Shh… It’s not a dream. You’re home. You’ve come home. I promise,” he shuddered at that almost comforting voice and the hand that was stroking the back of his head tenderly. “I’ll still be here when you wake up. I promise.”

Chapped lips were brushed over his forehead and he slipped away into the familiar abyss.

Oh how the good doctor dearly wished that he could remain in this single moment of time rather than face the cruel reality of what was waiting for him the next time he opened his eyes.

#jacksepticeye #writersofjack #chase brody #henrik von schneeplestein #antisepticeye

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tisfan · 6 years ago

Text

Suburban Warfare

Square: S1 - mutual appreciation society ( @tisfan ) Square: S3 - Day in the Life ( @monobuu ) Warning: unadulterated fluff, suburban life, Home Owners Association Pairing: Tony/Bruce Summary: When the HOA makes his neighbor take down his adorable little garden gnomes, Tony sets out a plan of revenge, involving flying… robotic… flamingoes. Who said suburban living was boring? Word Count: 2,215 Link: A03 for @tonystarkbingo

Tony Stark hadn’t actually seen his neighbor for the first six months or so after moving into Lighthouse Crossings.

Tony’s house was the one on the end, so he only shared the one wall with his neighbor -- Mr. Banner, according to the package that Tony had once gotten by accident. He’d dropped it off at Banner’s porch and rang the bell, but got no answer. So, Tony had left the box there and hoped that the stories about being able to leave your front door unlocked were true.

Rhodey kept saying that living out in the middle of nowhere was going to be good for Tony, but Tony wasn’t so sure. However, with steady access to Amazon Prime and a really nicely remodeled shop in what had once been a double garage, Tony was managing. Mostly.

He hadn’t seen his neighbor, that much was true, although sometimes Tony could hear him moving around in his own house. He drove an enormous, bright green Jeep that was usually parked in the drive, same as Tony’s Audi.

Tony wondered what Banner was keeping in his garage, since it wasn’t his car. It wasn’t that unusual, though. He’d noticed of his up and down the street neighbors, that only about ten percent of them used the garage for actual car storage.

So, he’d never actually seen his neighbor.

But what he had seen was his neighbor’s lawn ornaments.

(more below the cut)

It started as just one; a little garden gnome wearing a pointy hat, and -- Tony actually had to walk up Banner’s driveway to peer at it more closely -- a Star Trek uniform.

“Beam me up, Scotty,” Tony said, patting his neighbor’s wall. “You are my new best friend, if I ever meet you.”

A few weeks later, the Star Trek redshirt gnome was joined by two science officers.

A week after that, Tony noticed that there were now four gnomes, and they’d been redistributed so that Red Shirt Gnome was dead, there was a science officer inspecting the dead gnome, and a yellow shirted gnome screaming at the skies.

“Khaaaaan!” Tony muttered.

A week after that, a communications officer gnome sat on the front porch, delicate little porcelain legs crossed as she talked into a device attached to her head.

A month or so and Tony found a shop in town (he walked by it all the time on the way to the hardware store, but this time he’d actually stopped in and looked.) that sold lawn ornaments. He looked over the stock and picked out a good sized lawn crocodile, which he added to his own lawn, only inches away from Banner’s lawn.

Two days later, he was delighted to go out in the morning and discover that the entire Gnome-Away team was gathered on the edge of Banner’s yard, inspecting the croc.

A day after that, the croc “ate” one of the Away Team.

It progressed like that.

Tony still hadn’t met the neighbor. But he was nursing just a little bit of a lawn decoration crush.

Dear Mr. Stark,

It has come to our attention that you are in violation of Community Guideline 102.a.ii, specifically:

It is the duty of all members of the community to keep their lawns neat and tidy, so as not to lower curb appeal for the neighborhood.

The board is giving you ten (10) business days to comply without our requests, or the board will have the lawn tidied, and bill you for any corrections.

Further non-compliance will be met with a $25-per-day fee after the specified ten (10) business days are up to be collected with your monthly Home Owners Association Fees.

If you would like to appeal this decision, the board will hear your complaints on the second Tuesday of the month, at our bi-monthly meeting.

Sincerely

Whitney Frost

The first time Tony met his neighbor, a man with an unbelievable amount of fluffy hair, a square jaw, and a hideous purple shirt was dumping two garden gnomes (communications officer and the original Red Shirt) into his trash can, and then stood there, staring at the plastic container like it was a open grave.

Tony shoved his feet into a pair of slippers and hurried out the door, still in his pyjama pants (with flamingos on them, because Tony loved him some ridiculous pyjamas), coffee mug in one hand. “No, no, no, wait, what, what are you doing?”

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a rumpled copy of the same letter Tony had received and promptly ignored. His yard was neat and tidy. There wasn’t trash in it, he had his lawn cut regularly by the Parker kid down the street. The flower beds had actual flowers in them. He was fine.

“HOA says my gnomes are tacky,” Banner said. “They’re going to fine me.”

“There’s nothing in the HOA rules about lawn gnomes,” Tony said. “I checked. You’re fine. I like your lawn gnomes.”

“Well, someone doesn’t, because Whit said there were a number of complaints,” Banner said.

“Zero is a number,” Tony muttered. “Look, I’m on your side here-- my name’s Tony, by the way, nice to meet you--”

“Bruce.”

“--so let’s just go to the HOA meeting and appeal.”

Bruce gave him a little half-tipped up smile. “You think so?”

“I know so--” Tony reached into the trash and pulled out the two gnomes. Nothing seemed to be broken. A little paint on Red Shirt’s hat, good as new. “I like these guys-- I’ve… my lawn croc-- you know. It’s been fun.”

Bruce was smiling, a little shy, ducking his chin. But he was also nodding along. “Yeah, I-- it’s nice to meet you, Tony.”

“Bruce, Bruce, check it out,” Tony said. He waved the remote at his neighbor, noting again, for the record, that Bruce was absolutely adorable in an absent minded professor sort of way. Even if he insisted on wearing purple cardigans. He was, in fact, both absent-minded and a professor, so it was just professional courtesy that Tony was noticing, and the fact that he wanted to see if Bruce’s mouth was as kissable as it looked, that was just bonus, right?

Besides, no one had to know that he was crushing on his neighbor.

“What are you--” Bruce ducked as one of the flamingoes got a little close to his head.

“Flying lawn decorations,” Tony said. “They’re not against the rules, I checked.”

Bruce spun around in a slow circle. There were an even dozen of the things, zooming around in patterns above Tony’s lawn. “This is amazing, did you make these?”

“Well, yeah,” Tony sad. “I mean, they don’t even sell this sort of thing in skymall.”

“How?”

“Well, I started with some roombas, and then hacked their algorithms,” Tony said. “Built the core around them, and utilized some of Stark Industries old flying car tech. We never could get approval for the repulser technology, and Dad gave it up as a bad idea. The lift just wasn’t there for a passenger compartment. But these guys, they weigh less than ten pounds each, so it’s pretty easy. They’re confined to the yard, and when they need to recharge, they go right to their stations behind the house.”

“That’s cool,” Bruce said, tipping his head up to watch.

“Perfectly safe. Perfectly within the rules,” Tony said. After the emergency session in which the HOA had decided that lawn statuary of any sort was against the rules, and both Tony and Bruce had been hit with enormous fines (Tony had offered to cover Bruce’s fines, but Bruce had just blown him off) Tony had been trying, deliberately, to get on Frost’s nerves. “They’re not statues. And when they’re charging, they’re out of sight, and so not lowering the curb appeal.”

Bruce hummed thoughtfully, still watching one particular flamingo making patrols around Tony’s yard. “I think you underestimate Whitney Frost.”

“We shall see,” Tony said. He felt pretty good about it. Besides, the flamingos were pretty cool, no matter what.

“Hey, hey, Tony-- Tony will you wait up?” Bruce came shuffling down the sidewalk from the Clubhouse, after the Homeowners Association meeting.

“Yeah, what? Oh, oh, sorry, Bruce, that just makes me so angry, there was nothing specific in the bylaws about lawn ornaments, Frost just has a boner for making people do what she wants. She doesn’t want residents, she wants fucking clones.” Tony hitched in a breath, getting ready to go full on rant, but the look on Bruce’s face pulled him up short. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just have to work on not getting angry,” Bruce said. “I have poor impulse control when I’m angry, and after so many years, I’ve finally learned that toxic anger doesn’t help anyone.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Tony said. “Look, you want to go out and get a burger and a beer or something? I just-- did you see that, she just--”

“Railroaded the board into doing what she wants, I know. She’s done it before. There’s only three of them, and Parker Robbins does whatever she says, so-- no one wants to be on her bad side,” Bruce told him. “I could have told you that.”

Which was Bruce’s way of saying he had told Tony that. And that Tony hadn’t listened. Usually, Tony had discovered that a firm, no nonsense attitude, a big smile, and a reasonable argument worked.

Frost had, when confronted with the idea that lawn gnomes weren’t specifically forbidden by the bylaws, had gotten the other board members to change the damn bylaws at the fucking meeting.

Bylaws took only a quorum vote of the board members to change, and didn’t have to have any sort of discussion or study before hand.

“If Frost wanted us to all have to grow orange crabgrass in our yards, she could just decide that?” Tony demanded of the air. “How is that-- that is too much power for someone to have. These are our homes.”

“You can only turn over a board decision with at least fifty percent of the owners showing up for a vote. No one can do that. Even when she decides to raise the homeowners’ dues, we can only get about thirty heads of household to show up to the damn meeting,” Bruce said. “A beer and burger date sounds great.” He slanted his eyes at Tony.

“Is it a date? I mean, not that I have a problem-- I mean, I haven’t… did you--” Tony stammered.

“You’re adorable when you get all muddled up,” Bruce said. He was a big guy, but soft, somehow. Like a teddy bear. He put an arm around Tony’s shoulders and Tony just wanted to kick back, curl up, and stay safe there. “I’m saying, if you want it to be a date, I’m not adverse to the idea of dating.”

“It’s a date,” Tony said, firmly. “Absolutely.”

“What are you doing?”

“Finding a loophole,” Tony said. The home owners association documents were a huge, over 200 page, held together with a binder clip piece of bullshit that Tony had signed before getting the mortgage for his home.

He’d read through them, because he always read everything that he signed, no matter how tedious. But the addendum to the HOAdocs had not been included.

Which showed a gradual increase in the amount of power that had consolidated into the board.

“Is it working?”

“Actually, yes,” Tony said, looking up with a beatific grin. “How do you feel about some neighborhood involvement.”

“Huh?”

“Change the system from within,” Tony said. “Look, there are actually seven board positions--” Tony traced a line down the page. “And they’re filled entirely by volunteers.”

“Frost only has three people on--”

“I know. No one has volunteered in years. So it’s just Frost and her cronie, and Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, who’ve been on the board since the neighborhood was first build up,” Tony said. “There’s a sad lack of leadership these days. Frost controls the vote, because in the case of a tie, she gets to decide.”

“So--”

“I’m saying we volunteer, my darling,” Tony said, batting his eyelashes at his boyfriend.

“Us. Volunteer.”

“To be on the board,” Tony clarified. “That gives the board six votes total. And I already talked May Parker into it.” Parker had a kid, a nephew about four years old, and she’d gone up against Frost a few times too for things like sidewalk chalk and Big Wheels bikes. Which made for seven votes total.

“You think Jack or Stan will back anything we suggest?”

“I don’t know,” Tony admitted. “But what else can we do, aside from conform to Frost’s expectations. We can’t let her win, Bruce.”

“I wasn’t aware that this was a war,” Bruce pointed out, mildly.

“Look, the board positions are only open at the annual meeting. This meeting. So, if it doesn’t work out, we’re only doing it for a year. How bad can it be?”

“I’m quite positive we will regret this,” Bruce said.

“Oh, come on, Bruce, this is an excellent outlet for your anger issues, there’s something here to get angry about! Use your powers for good.”

Bruce pulled Tony into an embrace and kissed him several times until Tony relented and relaxed. “I’ll tell you a secret. I’m always angry.”

#tonystarkbingo2019 #tony stark x bruce banner #science bros #homeowners association #suburban life #monobuu

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steve0discusses · 6 years ago

Text

Yugioh S3 Ep 2: The VR Zone Has a Hell Ton of Trees

Alright guys I am regretting the hell out of this teriyaki ramen bowl I just ate, so it’s a better time than ever to go back into this VR arc. Now that the Big 5 have made their speech, all of them quite fat and one with a cane although he doesn’t even have a body anymore, they are ready to send everyone down a series of...plot-shaped holes.

Like they were JUST in some sort of tropic zone, to go back to here and then go somewhere else and so like--this is still VR I think? Like I’m assuming they went VR the moment they entered this room but it is quite vague at what point they were officially in VR. Was it when their vision went fwisssh and everyone split into RGB layers or was it that they got knocked out with gas quite a long time ago and were just unaware that it happened? Probably a bunch of these things.

With this announcement we find out that everyone--and I mean everyone--has to play cards now, although I’m pretty sure half of them have duel disks and the other’s are like...not equipped? I mean it’s VR, so hypothetically no one at all needs a duel disk anymore but you gotta sell toys, so no matter what, Yugi’s going to be lugging this heavy sharp thing on his wrist, even when he knows he will soon be shot down a wacky hole.

The title of last episode, ps was “VR Nightmare,” but like, it’s actually fairly pleasant, compared to the blimp hell we were dealing with just a few episodes back. I mean I guess people are actively trying to kill us here but when are they not?

The audacity of this show. Every state in the US has huge ass fake castles in it leftover from the Rockefeller era. Where else are our Moms supposed to drag us on Day Trips so we can get our history credit for Girl Scouts?

Americans are hella good at creating fake historical sites--all you need is a 50+ year old house and some turret work possibly made by a reasonably well known architect and it’s like “yeah that’s a good enough castle for me! Can we say it’s haunted, too? It’s hella haunted! Come to my castle B+B!”

(read more under the cut)

Tea landed in some concept art that kind of looks like the underside of a mushroom. I dunno how I’d classify this rock structure.

And then Kaiba landed in his worst nightmare which was being in a normal park with one single straight road but somehow still completely lost. At least Mokuba managed to fall into the same hole as his brother to ensure that Seto wouldn't be lost for like the rest of this arc. Which was actually kind of an unintentionally hilarious animation.

*rare shot of the Kaibas actually taking a break*

Man, this is the closest they’ve gotten to a real hug in kind of a while. Like when was the last time these bros hugged? Pegasus’ castle?

Meanwhile, Noah is admiring his work from this throne room and it would be a whole lot more intimidating if he wasn’t in calf-high black socks.

His outfit is like a white school uniform so what gives with the black socks? Like of all the things to complain about on Yugioh (especially since I see Yugi’s hair looking right at me in the next cap) those socks though. Those are pretty inappropriate with this outfit, Noah. Especially matched with this God Throne you’ve got going on. Did not see socks like that matched with a chair like this.

Meanwhile Yugi is all by himself but that doesn’t matter at all because he is 2 (3) people. This strategy to isolate everyone only really worked on Serenity and Joey, TBH, since Tea is also accompanied by slightlylessevil!Marik (who hasn’t really said anything since the VR started).

I knew Bakura would be out for a while, but I didn’t realize it meant everyone else wasn’t even going to once acknowledge it, it is baffling. I mean I get they’re super distracted right now but your friend is DEAD.

Honestly I would not mind if the big 5 succeeded and we had to see some old men try and work with Yugi’s hair and alt rock clothing, deal with Pharaoh sassing them from a brain labyrinth, go to Yugi’s school where people get savagely beat up like every other day, deal with Bakura and Marik trying to body snatch and other magic assholery during class breaks, and through all that watching the Big 5 attempt to take over the world with their megacorp that no longer sells guns but actually sells like...children’s entertainment supplies which include the dueling roombas from S1. How on Earth do they actually think that getting a body would help them at this point? They would be Yugi Muto and that is the last face anyone would ever take seriously.

Pharaoh pops up and is like “I guess we’re doing this right now? Really wish we weren’t doing this right now.”

Anyway, because they don’t physically exist in this digital world, neither do God Cards, or any other card in their deck. So, now they have to make new decks out of a pool. Very convenient for the writing team, bad news for Kaiba’s intense and vaguely romantic relationship with his Blue Eyes. Really glad we spent a full season talking about how much these cards meant to all these people, from the magicians, to Joey’s Red Eyes, and then that one card that was Mako Tsunami’s Dad or something--really glad we learned all of that to just completely erase it this arc.

I sounded sarcastic just now, I actually wasn’t for once, I am so glad to just purge my mind of all those card memories for a little while. Just allow myself to forget. Ah. My mind is already so much clearer. It feels so good. I am very much ok with this soft reset, I kinda needed it.

Since Yugi is supposed to choose a Deck Master from his set of cards for this particular type of duel monsters duel, he goes right for the dark magician--since that’s his MO, but for some reason Kuriboh chose himself? Like this greasy thing just hopped out of the card and played himself.

Anyway Kuriboh is now their new Pikachu and well...this show has done worse cute-character-that-does-literally-nothing-else type things to me, speaking of, lets see what Serenity is up to.

This is a digital hellscape, Serenity.

Serenity, you are going to die here.

Serenity.

So because I just realized just now in Season 3 that Duke’s necklace is a hot, over designed disaster (much like Duke himself) I figured I should like...see what this necklace is supposed to look like. So I typed into Google “duke devlin necklace” and guys, turns out there is a LOT of Yugioh jewelry--and I don’t mean like fanart (which there is also a lot), I mean like officially, a lot of people in this show wear a lot of jewelry and so it was sort of hard to find a good pic of a Duke Devlin specific necklace--especially since it feels like most people just go for the dice earring because that’s way easier.

But what’s interesting about the Duke Devlin necklace, at least from my quick search, is that when we bring it to the real world, it gets a little lost, like a game of telephone.

Cuz I assumed that was a clown on his necklace--and there’s quite a few clown necklaces, but I’m also seeing skulls, I’m seeing gothic crosses, I’m seeing spikes and knives instead of crosses. Bro thought it was a flower for some reason--I kinda blew his mind just now when I pointed out it was a clown. Some people think it’s made of silver, other people think it’s sort of painted? (I assumed the cross was entirely blinged out with rhinestones--my honest assumption) No one can actually agree. Especially since Duke apparently changed his necklace for the movie. I know that because it looks a lot like the Legend of Zelda emblem, and some people had the actual Legend of Zelda emblem mis-tagged as Duke Devlin. Which sucks a whole lot for their SEO, and sucked a whole lot for me in my search to find a real actual Duke Devlin necklace.

Like, feel free to attach a link to a reply -- is there an official physical Duke Devlin necklace that Yugioh inc sells? Like I just want to know--officially--what the hell I’m looking at.

Anyway, back to the show, much like everyone else, these two are hopelessly lost.

Kaiba seems to keep forgetting that his Dad is clearly behind all this and would obviously have his old tech but like...Kaiba forgets so much I can forgive him this.

So, faced with roads that lead no where, Tristan decides to do his tried and true method of solving all of his problems.

And at the other end of the VR zone Tea is getting kidnapped after...being kidnapped by Noah while she was already kidnapped by Marik. This is three levels of kidnap, yes?

OH SHOOT IS THAT A ONCE DOOR. DID SOMEONE DO WHAT I HOPE THEY DID? OH SHOOT.

I will read their fanfiction start to end I swear to you I will do it if it exists and I will report back to you who dates Captain Hook and who is related to Henry Mills.

OMG It didn’t exist.

You have got to be kidding me.

I am beside myself, this is the only property known to man that has not been turned into a OUAT fanfiction.

Incredible.

That or I’m just really bad at searching for fanfics since I haven’t actually read any since my LiveJournal days. Like, when you’re basically immune to shipping, as I am, you just really lose the desire to read about 90% of fanfiction.

Anyway, the closest we have to a OUAT Yugioh fanfiction, to my knowledge, is that cap I made just now right there. Your welcome, Once community.

This is absolutely made of load-bearing drywall. Why do none of the sets of windows line up with each other and how many stories is this? Like 2.5? And you can stand on the roof I guess because it has handrails? It’s super weird.

Anyway, I just made a OUAT joke and maybe it’s because I knew shortly after we were gonna get--that’s right--an orphanage flashback. OUAT was basically 6 seasons of effed up orphan flashbacks so I feel pretty well prepared. Like bro was worried how I’d handle this filler but y’all, I watched the Lily arc in OUAT. I can do anything.

*slaps hands together*

Totes ready for these boys to have been given up for adoption via a magical tree and a memory curse, only to find out their real parents are 3 years younger than them because of a time loop. Make it weird, Yugioh!

Anyway, as always, if you want a link to read these from the beginning in Chrono order and without any comments and all that jazz here’s a link

#Yugioh #photo recap #recap #S3 Ep2 #yugi muto #seto kaiba #big 5 #Noah #joey wheeler #tea gardner #duke devlin #tristan taylor #mokuba #Anyways I'm gonna go make cookies at 9 PM #because I have a headache and I feel like this will fix it somehow.

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ask-mathtrap · 6 years ago

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Do you got s teacher’s pet?

sure do you count the roombas?i also got shane dawnson here somewhere oh wait the roombas ate him…. because his conspiracy theories drove them mad

…eating logan paul killed one of the unkillable roombas… that tried to

that man is so toxic he can kill even over powered roombas I FEAR THAT HORRIBLE MAN

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otherluces · 7 years ago

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KENNY AND CLYYYYDE

Happy freaking Valentine's Day to me! Thank you Metro, I loves you (although if I really wanted to, I probably could have been lame and sent an anon message to myself ^^() ). Also I’m basically answering these through the lens of my story because...I don’t know, it helps me flesh it out more. Also @andiamaprincess I see you sent me this one, too.

General:

Rate the Ship -

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs - I generally don’t like to call various ships OTPs cause I ship nearly everything, but given my obsession with these little fuckers lately, I’ll use the term for nowHow long will they last? - Til death, but that doesn’t mean they won’t have their struggles and rough patches - just because you’re total bros with your partner doesn’t mean you don’t fight about stupid shitHow quickly did/will they fall in love? - a couple months, but that was more of that puppy love/new relationship energy dynamic...it takes about a year for them to say I love you and really mean it on a deep, meaningful levelHow was their first kiss? -Drunken, but sweet...unfortunately Clyde doesn’t remember it in the morning, but Kenny...

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Clyde tried to, but his plan went horribly wrong and he got really upset (maybe a little crying). Kenny caught the gist of what he was trying to do, and by the end of the night, Kenny just said yes while they were snuggling in bed (it takes a few minutes for Clyde to catch on, but once he does, he practically smothers Kenny with kisses and a bear hug)Who is the best man/men? - CraigWho is the Maid of Honor? - KarenWho did the most planning? -They were pretty equal in the planning. It wasn’t intense planning, like long sessions with binders and stuff, but whenever one of them thought of something they wanted, they just sort of blurt it out to the other. Clyde even sometimes woke up Kenny in the middle of the night to tell him something like “we should have a big screen TV with Super Smash Bros. hooked up at the reception!”Who stressed the most? - ClydeHow fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. -(borrowing from my own un-fancy wedding) They rented a cheap hall for a venue, had a potluck reception, and went DIY for most everything else. They’re not destitute, but not wealthy, and they both agree that spending a lot of money on a big fancy wedding is fucking dumb.Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -Stuart, but he shows up anyway, promising that he won’t drink...he does, but thankfully only drinks like two beers and generally behaves himself (this is my father in law from my wedding...he called me a bitch like 3 days before our wedding, probably cause I said he couldn’t drink there (and he was drunk when I said this to him))

Sex:

Who is on top? - They switch, but if they had to pick a preference, Clyde likes to top more often because he has to be in the right mindset for receivingWho is the one to instigate things? - Whomever has the erection first and starts grinding on the otherHow healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right nowHow kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s headHow long do they normally last? -Kenny is kinkier than Clyde, but Clyde does enjoy the getting occasional spanking...really I’d probably call them a 5, but the description of a 5 includes butt stuff which...well most of what the do is butt stuff, so....Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They try, but some days you just can’t finish, some days you manage to have a couple. They don’t stress about it.How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. -depends on their mood, Kenny is typically the dirty talker, as when Clyde has tried, it just ends up sounding more silly than sexy, they tend to like rougher sex, but sometimes they enjoy more gentle “lovemaking”How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - again, no ABO hereHow many children will they adopt? - one...Clyde would probably make a kickass dad, but Kenny was nervous, afraid he’d become his parents...Clyde tells him he’s nothing like his parents and that he can help break the cycleWho gets stuck with the most diapers? - They take turns, they’re not assholesWho is the stricter parent? -Kenny, who overcorrected a bit from his extremely passive parents. He’s not authoritarian though.Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -Neither...they’re usually filming their kids doing the stuntsWho remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -Kenny Who is the more loved parent? -I like to think that their kid would brag about how they had the two coolest dads in the worldWho is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? They try to help out with fundraisers when they can, but they don’t really attend PTA meetings...Who cried the most at graduation? -ClydeWho is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -Kenny

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - ClydeWho is the most picky in their food choice? -Clyde (cause Kenny is still stoked to be eating at all)Who does the grocery shopping? -BothHow often do they bake desserts? -once a week for Sunday dinnerAre they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? -They love their meat, but they eat well-balanced meals (they want to instill healthy eating on their kid, Clyde because he ate a bit too much as a kid, Kenny because he barely ate at all)Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? -Kenny - Clyde always cooks tasty food, so Kenny tries to plan a fancy anniversary dinner, but it never turns out quite like the recipe said it wouldWho is more likely to suggest going out? -Kenny - Clyde likes to go out, but he prefers to stay at home and snuggle on the couchWho is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? -you’d think Clyde because he can get forgetful, but he’s an ace cook - Kenny is more likely to get distracted preparing a side dish and forgetting that the stove was on

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - RoombaWho is really against chores? -ClydeWho cleans up after the pets? -They’re both actually good about this because they love their pets and want their living area to be cleanWho is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -both - it’s a quick, effective cleaning technique ^^()Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? -Their child - they love their dads, but they can be kind of embarrassing...Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -Kenny - Clyde loses his petty cash all the time

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - ClydeWho takes the dog out for a walk? -The whole family goes to the dog park (cause SP had a dog park by this point....)How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -Kenny and Karen get a little extreme with holidays, as it was some of the better times they had as kids, so Kenny has Karen come over and they decorate the shit out of the living roomWhat are their goals for the relationship? -To be happyWho is most likely to sleep till noon? -They’re both sleeping to noon on the weekends. When their kid is young, they climb into bed and sleep between themWho plays the most pranks? -Clyde

#Clenny #Clyde Donovan #Kenny McCormick #all the SP Ships #South park

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swilmarillion · 7 years ago

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Top five strangest things mairon's ever found while cleaning Melkor's apartment? Or do I even want to know...

“Okay,” said Mairon, coming down the hallway. “I’ve found a lot of weird shit in yourapartment over the years, but this…”

Melkor looked up from where he sat on the couch and foundMairon standing at the entrance to the hallway. In his hands was a large metal cage, covered in dust. He held it away from him, a frown of distasteon his face.

“What about it?” Melkor said, stubbornly unperturbed.

“It’s a cage.”

“Nothin’ gets by you, Sherlock.”

“Why do you have a cage?” Mairon demanded, brandishing it athim.

“Uh,” said Melkor, as though it should’ve been obvious. “For the rats.”

Melkor rolled his eyes and slapped his forehead with thepalm of his hand. The cage fell free onone side and swung down by his side. “Idon’t know why I’m surprised,” he said, shaking his head.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Like I said, I’ve found some weird shit in your apartmentover the years.”

“I mean, but your limited definition of weird, then sure.”

“Oh, so the doll wasn’t weird?”

“The doll was a collector’s item.”

“Collector’s item my ass,” Mairon said. “You bought it at a flea market.”

“Yeah,” Melkor said, “but it was haunted.”

“Haunting,maybe. Jesus Christ, that thing’s facestill shows up in my nightmares sometimes.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“It had real human hair.”

“I mean,” Melkor said, and though about it for amoment. “Fine,” he said, conceding thepoint. “But that’s one thing.”

“How about the mummified lizard thing?”

“Okay, first of all, that was taxidermy, not a mummy,”Melkor said. “And it was a dragon,which, I guess you could classify as a lizard but—”

“But,” Mairon finished for him, “that’s not a real thing.”

“Uh, last time I checked, things you can hold in your handare usually classified as real things.”

“Okay, but not everything you can hold in your hand is adragon, no matter what some idiot on ebay says.”

“It was Craigslist,” Melkor said.

“Somehow,” Mairon said, “that’s worse.”

“Whatever happened to old Draco anyway?”

“Please tell me you didn’t name your fake mummy dragonlizard after that Dragonheart movie.”

“If by movie, you mean cinematic masterpiece,” Melkorsaid. “Then yes.”

“Jesus,” Mairon said, rolling his eyes.

“And anyway, the original question still stands.”

“It probably got eaten by the Roomba from hell.”

“That was a good idea in principle.”

“It was not,” Mairon said. “Which is why it also gets a spot on this list of weird-ass shit I’vefound in your apartment.”

“Look,” said Melkor. “Youmight have noticed that I don’t, um, how can I say this?”

“Clean your apartment literally ever?”

“Put as much effort into my apartment as, say, a type-Afreak like you,” Melkor said.

“Where did you even get a four-foot-high Roomba?”

“I built it,” Melkor said. Mairon gave him a skeptical look. “I have a fucking degree in mechanical engineering,” he said, annoyed. “Don’t give me that look.”

“You need to retake a safety course,” Mairon said. “Or, like, seven.”

“That’s a little harsh.”

“That thing escaped, wandered into the hallway, and ate acat.”

“Escaped is a generous term,” Melkor said. “It wasn’t like, sentient or anything. I just left the door open.”

“Is that supposed to be better?”

“Simple carelessness is like, a million times better thansome kind of vengeful robotic vacuum creature hellscape.”

“I’ll give you that one,” Mairon said. “But your not-sentient, debatably vengefulrobotic vacuum creature still ate your neighbor’s cat.”

“It was an honest mistake,” Melkor said. “And one that could have been avoided if youhad just coded the thing for me like I asked.”

“You didn’t ask.”

“I did! You blew meoff.”

“I probably didn’t think you were serious.”

“What in the history of our relationship would make youthink that?”

“That’s…”Mairon paused, considering. “Fair,” he conceded at last. “Man, you manage to collect some weird shit.”

“Okay,” Melkor said, “but you’re forgetting arguably theweirdest thing I have ever owned.”

“That weird bottle of ground up tiger penis bone?”

“No,” Melkor said. “But,speaking of, do I still have that somewhere? Because we should try it.”

“I’m probably going to regret asking, but what does thateven mean?”

“It’s an aphrodisiac.”

“First of all, gross. Second of all, no it’s not. Andthird—and arguably, most importantly—there has never been a single moment ofour relationship when we would have needed an aphrodisiac.”

“There are lots of things you don’t need,” Melkor said. “Butusing them is still fun.”

“Now that,” said Mairon, “is a statement I can get behind.”

“I feel like I’m missing an opportunity for a pretty radinnuendo, but the tiger penis bone was not what I had in mind.”

“The switchblade with the blood on it,” Mairon suggested.

“You’re still hung up on that, huh?”

“It had blood on it,” Mairon said.

“So?”

“Do you want Hep C? Because that’s how you get Hep C.”

“Please,” Melkor said, waving a hand dismissively. “You’re giving viruses too much credit. Any disease was long dead by the time Ibought the thing.”

“Fine,” Mairon said, “but you still basically bought amurder weapon.”

“That might be true,” Melkor said, “but good fuckin’ luck toanyone trying to find it.”

“The one advantage of being a hoarder,” Mairon said, rollinghis eyes.

“Oh, honey,” Melkor said. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

“Please let that be a joke.”

“You’re still missing the weirdest thing.”

Mairon thought about it for a moment. “Fine,” he said. “I give up. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever owned?”

“The grimoire,” Melkor said, leaning back with aself-satisfied grin.

“Please,” Mairon said, rolling his eyes. “That’s not even top ten.”

“It was bound in human skin!”

“And?”

“Human skin!” Melkor repeated, affronted.

“You can find a handful at any good rare books library,”Mairon said, unimpressed.

“Fine,” said Melkor, crossing his arms and frowning inannoyance. “What would you say is theweirdest thing I’ve ever owned?”

“This,” Mairon said, kicking the rat cage.

“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“Am not.”

“How is a goddamn rat cage weirder than a fucking grimoire? Or, like, anything else we talked about inthe last five minutes?”

“Because everything else had an explanation,” Maironsaid. “But this?”

“It’s a fucking rat cage,” Melkor said. “I don’t know what other explanation youwant.”

“You don’t have a rat.”

“Not anymore.”

“I—what?”

“You heard me.”

“When did you ever have a rat?”

“I mean, I didn’t have them as pets.”

“Them?”

“I had like, two dozen of them.”

“I swear to God if you don’t explain—”

“You know how I bought out the other apartments on thisfloor to make mine three times bigger?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, two of my neighbors were down to move out for a nicelump sum of cash,” Melkor said. “But thethird guy needed a little more convincing.”

“Oh, no.”

“I offered him money,” Melkor said. “Like, a lot of money. I offered to find him a new place. Hell, I offered to buy him a new place.”

“Oh, no.”

“I tried to get Thil to help me evict him, but she wouldn’tdo it.”

“How dare she.”

“I know, right?”

“Melkor, please tell me you didn’t put a bunch of rats inyour neighbor’s apartment.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t necessarily say I put them there.”

“Oh my God,” Mairon said, shaking his head. “I’m dating a psychopath.”

“Hey,” Melkor said. “Metoo.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Babe, I’ve worked with you for like, seven years. No one with your work habits could possiblybe sane.”

“Luckily for you,” Mairon said.

“No arguments here,” said Melkor. He stood up. “Come on,” he said, brushing past Mairon and walking down the hall.

“Where are we going?”

“If you’re looking for weird shit I’ve collected over theyears,” Melkor said, turning to face him and walking backwards down the hall, “thenI’ve got a closet that you’re gonna love.”

#my writing #I guess #I mean you did ask for strangest #sorry in advance this is terrible #swil answers #fyd asks

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4colorrebellion · 7 years ago

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4cr Plays - Yakuza 6: The Song of Life

Like many, I am a recent convert to the religion of Yakuza.

My first encounter with the series was the prequel Yakuza 0. I was hooked within minutes. I had never seen anything like this beautiful, melodramatic - and oh, so Japanese - crime drama. Yakuza Kiwami, the remake of the original release, came just as I was ready for another dip into that world and reinforced my newfound fandom.

Now, a few months later, the release of Yakuza 6: The Song of Life is upon us. Will it be love at first sight yet again? Read on for more.

Yakuza 6 starts with protagonist Kazuma Kiryu emerging from jail - having served his sentence for actions taken during Yakuza 5. A lot has happened during his time is prison, and his adopted daughter - Haruka Sawamura - has disappeared. Kiryu sets out to locate her, and - naturally - gets drawn into a simmering conflict between four different criminal factions.

I was a little nervous approaching Yakuza 6 after only playing 0 and Kiwami. Would I be missing important details from Yakuzas 2-5? Would I be utterly baffled by a bunch of new characters?

It turns out that I didn’t need to worry. Yakuza 6 does cap off the ongoing storyline, but still serves as a relatively self-contained tale. Many of the characters are either new, or are ones that I was familiar with from Kiwami and 0. The game also does a great job of filling you in on important events. Loading screens include facts about characters, game recaps are accessible from the main menu, and characters in the game regularly drop exposition explaining past events. Even if you’ve never played a Yakuza game, you should get the gist of the plot. If you are a series veteran, I imagine you’ll love seeing some old faces again.

The storylines in the Yakuza series are not what I would call good, in the literary sense. Yet, they are incredibly compelling all the same. Yakuza 6 continues this tradition. The Yakuza series takes place in this world where everything is exaggerated, over the top, and charged with machismo. Nobody talks in Yakuza. They shout. They grimace. They threaten. Yakuza games take place in a world where everything is important and world-ending. This is a world where it is perfectly normal for random punks to rush up and attempt to beat you with a street sign, and a world where a mobster might ask you to join their baseball team. It’s beautiful and melodramatic, and Kiryu is the perfect protagonist for such a world.

Kiryu is the calm at the center of the storm. He’s the only straight man in this action movie universe, the only one who remains calm and collected. He offers the same response to being threatened by the leader of the Chinese Triad and to a guy who is chasing his Roomba because it ate an engagement ring - calm acceptance. Kiryu is unperturbed, and it is beautiful.

The tone of the plot is echoed and enforced by the world presented in the game. Like past games in the series, Yakuza 6 primarily takes place in Kamurocho - a virtual representation of Kabukicho, Shinjuku’s red-light district. Kamurocho presents a sprawling series of broadways, cramped alleyways, and dingy bars. It’s a world that is full of personality and easy to get lost in. This is true in the literal sense - it can be hard to find your way around (this is true to life) - but also in the figurative sense, given the sheer number of diversions that the world offers. You can have a few drinks at the bar. You can play darts, practice batting, and sing a few songs. You can play a few rounds of Puyo Puyo or Virtua Fighter. If that gets old, you can attempt to learn Mahjong - though, despite SEGA’s efforts to include tutorials for western audiences, Mahjong continues to elude me. If the constant fights have left your health low, you can stop by a ramen joint or a takoyaki booth for a snack.

Yakuza 6 also adds a new location to explore. The sleepy coastal village of Onomichi is a calming contrast to the sensory overload that is Kamurocho. There are fewer activities to take part in, and the shops close earlier. Kiryu can go catch a few fish, or join in a local baseball game. He can wander up to the shrine, and stop to read the poetry stones. It’s a vastly different world than that presented by Kamurocho. Yet, at the same time, it is easy to lose yourself in.

One of the most compelling elements of the Yakuza series is the sheer level of detail in the world presented by the developers. I’ve spent time in Kabukicho, the real-world analog of Kamurocho, and in small towns reminiscent of Onomichi. Yakuza’s representations of both are stunningly spot-on. Buildings look identical. If you enter shops, you can make out the details of individual products on the shelves, and the level of visual detail is incredible. It helps that Yakuza includes a lot of licensed products. You can buy actual brands of whiskey and soda from Don Quixote - an actual chain of stores. The little details are even spot-on. For instance, the appearance of the Kamurocho Don Quixote has updated in each game to match how the store would appear in the real-world for the time period that the game takes place in. No other game has depicted Japan so accurately - in such loving detail.

Of course, this is the Japan of the Yakuza series. Kamurocho and Onomichi are filled with colorful personalities. As you wander the streets, you’ll bump into a few of them, and they will eagerly tell you about their woes. The substories that emerge from these encounters are my favorite part of the Yakuza series, and Yakuza 6 has some of the best that I’ve seen. Whether it is the ring-stealing robot that I mentioned above, or phone scams, or attacks by pirate ghosts, you can’t help but grin at each twist and turn in each substory. Getting to know these characters is great fun, and draws you further into Yakuza’s addictive open world.

Yakuza 6 represents a major shift for the series, as the developers have upgraded to a completely new engine. This has its positive and negative aspects. On the plus side, the game looks fantastic. The visual fidelity has jumped by quite a bit, and that really helps pull you into the world just a bit more than past entries. The game looks great - the visuals are sharp, the effects look great, and a lot can happen on screen at once. There seems to be some screen tearing on the regular PS4, but I played on the PS4 Pro and had no issues.

On the negative side, the shift to a new engine means that the developers couldn’t carry over the sheer number of accumulated minigames that were present in Yakuza 0. The selection of activities is definitely smaller. There have also been major changes to how activities are played, such as darts and the batting cage. Personally, I liked the old dart minigame way more, but I prefer the new batting game. Fortunately, Karaoke remains more-or-less unchanged.

There are also a couple of new minigames. In particular, I have to mention the online chatroom. By rapidly pressing the correct series of buttons, Kiryu can convince a woman to remove pieces of clothing. I mainly bring this one up not because it’s particularly titillating (it isn’t), but because the chat room is hilarious as hell. The localization team really brought out their A-game for this one, and it’s this beautiful microcosm of every dumb thing that people do on the internet. Actually, across the board, the writing in Yakuza 6 is fantastic. SEGA’s localization efforts on the recent Yakuza games are among the best in the industry.

Fighting is - reasonably - a pretty major part of the series, and what you’ll spend most of your time doing. Yakuza is, more-or-less, an action-RPG with random battles. You’ll be regularly attacked by roving mobs of goons, and you must beat them to move on. You fight by stringing together light attacks, heavy attacks, dodges, and blocks. Consecutive hits will build up a “heat gauge”, which can be spent on brutal takedowns. You can also trigger a special powered-up mode where all attacks consume “heat”, but are much more powerful.

With a new engine comes massive changes to Yakuza’s combat system. Many elements of the combat system have been streamlined. You no longer have multiple fighting styles, for instance. However, I also quite like the changes. The new physics-based approach makes moves feel more weighty - more brutal - and combat feels faster.

Every action you take in Yakuza, whether fighting, eating, or singing, earns you experience. Experience points come in five different categories, and can be spent in a variety of ways. You can put points into your basic stats, like health, strength, agility, and your heat gauge. You can also purchase new combat skills and heat moves. Finally, you can purchase general abilities, like experience boosts, increased stomach capacity (eating more food nets you more experience), or the ability to run further.

Needless to say, I loved Yakuza 6. It’s a fantastic new entry in the series, and I can’t wait to see what comes next. This is a series that deserves more attention, and I’m thrilled to see how many people have gotten into it recently - like myself.

If you’re a series newbie, I would still recommend Yakuza 0 as the definitive way to experience the series, but I’d also recommend that you come right back for Yakuza 6. If you’re already on board, you know what to do - grab this game as soon as you can.

A review copy of the game was provided by the publisher, SEGA.

Official Website

#video games #review #Yakuza #Yakuza 6 #SEGA #greg4cr #PS4

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borgeslabyrinth · 7 years ago

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There’s been a sudden influx of fics where Flint and Silver are detectives and whoops my brain ran away with me last night. I have no idea if this will yield an actual au so I’m posting one part of it.

In which Flint and Silver are detective partners, Silver is the living embodiment of “steal everything your gay little hands can carry”, Flint needs a vacation, and Thomas thinks it’s hysterical that everyone’s scared of his husband. It’s also slightly a Thin Man au.

(also all mentions of “Beaufort”, “the shark”, and “the mobster” are references to an earlier scene where Silver steals a glass paperweight from a mobster and names it Beaufort because Reasons)

By John’s estimate he had two hours before Max got her hooks out of Flint, which was more than enough time for how quick this job was going to be. He was going to get in, find out if Flint slept in a coffin, find something adequately sentimental to steal, and then get out. If there even was anything to steal; as far as he knew, Flint could just have a charging port like a Roomba and nothing else.

John had the door open in a few seconds and really, he was shocked (Shocked!) at how cheap the locks were. If he didn’t wind up in pieces in seven different dumpsters across the city once his thievery had been discovered, he was going to buy Flint some better locks. And maybe a security system. Or he could just give him Beaufort to act as a watch-shark, though John had a suspicion that Flint was still angry over his theft, judging by the fact that he tried to shatter poor Beaufort when John had suggested they have joint custody over the shark.

John had just closed the door behind him when he heard a noise from inside the bowels of the apartment. He was instantly on alert, one hand on his gun as he crept down the hallway. What were the chances that he walked in on a burglary when he himself was there to burgle? Or perhaps the mobster had hired a hitman to kill them because he was angry about the disappearance of Beaufort. Or maybe Flint really was the violent psychopath everyone believed him to be and he had six women held captive in some kind of torture chamber, or-

“Excuse me, what are you doing in my apartment?” A polite voice inquired behind him.

John didn’t scream as he whirled around, but it was a near thing. The man standing behind him was tall, had blond hair and didn’t seem like a threat, but that didn’t mean anything. John knew lots of murderers who seemed like very nice people on the surface. He also had a dog, but John also knew lots of murderers that had dogs. Dogs were not implicitly judges of good character.

“I’m sorry, what are you doing here? This apartment belongs to my partner.”

The man made a noise of understanding before closing the door behind him and letting the dog off the leash. “You must be John Silver.”

“How do you know that name?” He demanded, this time pulling his gun. This was absolutely retribution for the shark-napping of Beaufort. Flint was right; John was going to be brutalized over a fucking bauble.

If the man was bothered at having a gun pointing at him he didn’t show it. “Because you’ll find that this apartment belongs to my partner. I’m James’s husband.”

They were in the kitchen and “Thomas” was fixing them some coffee, though John was watching him carefully as he wasn’t fully convinced about this husband story. In the first place, Flint didn’t seem capable of showing the basic human emotions necessary to acquire a husband. Secondly, there had been not one, but two instances in which John had been discovered in an apartment that didn’t belong to him and had played the ‘secret lover’ card. Also, Flint didn’t seem like the type of person to own a terrier.

“Whose dog is that?” John asked, refusing to take his eyes off Thomas as he carefully measured out the coffee grounds and filled up the pot.

“Mine. His name is William ‘Billy Bones’ Manderly.” Thomas moved to another cabinet to get out two mugs. His knowledge of the kitchen could mean he was telling the truth, or it could mean that his intel was better than John’s.

“What the fuck kind of name is that for a dog?” John asked.

“He’s a pirate,” Thomas said as if that explained everything. “Sugar?”

“No.” Normally John took four teaspoons, but sugar seemed too easy to poison. He had read at least six books where someone put poison in a sugar bowl. “If you’re really Flint’s husband, why doesn’t he wear a ring?”

“Because, and I quote, ‘that fucking shit already knows too much about me.’” Thomas rolled his eyes as he gave a rather decent impersonation of Flint’s gruff tone.

“I’m the reason he doesn’t wear his ring?” John was decidedly pleased by this idea. It was so… 1950’s lesbian pulp novel.

“No,” Thomas said, bringing both of their coffees to the kitchen table. “He just believes that it is safer for us to keep his home life and work life completely separate.”

“So he has a secret identity? That’s so lame! Who does he think he is? Batman?”

“Well, you see, James used to be MI6, so he has a hard time trusting others.” Thomas said it casually, as if he hadn’t just brought John’s world crashing down. There was no way Flint was a spy. Flint was like the lamest guy he knew! Yeah sure, sometimes he’d bash someone’s head in, but most of the time he yelled at John for stealing things, and used a stupid flip phone, and ate soup. What kind of spy ate soup?

James was exhausted. He had had a very trying day; besides the whole event with the mobster and the hideous glass paperweight, his attempts to talk to Anne about the body in her morgue were foiled by the presence of Jack, who has really watched far too many cop dramas, then he had a departmentally mandated meeting with Max which had gone on much too long, not to mention that he hadn’t had anything to eat because Silver had stolen his soup that morning. James was tired and grumpy and he wanted his husband. Also something seemed to be wrong with the lock on his door.

“Thomas?” He called, dropping his keys in the bowl on the table in their entrance hall and removing his shoes. “Are you home?”

“In the kitchen!” Thomas called. Just the sound of his voice cheered James up. He sounded delighted which meant he probably had a story that would make James’s bad mood disappear entirely.

He expected to find Thomas making coffee or working at the table, not sitting down with the very bane of his existence.

“Silver, what the fuck are you doing in my house?”

“I’m having coffee with my new best friend!” He exclaimed with a thousand-watt grin, touching Thomas on the arm. “Is it true that you killed Thomas’s father?”

“I do wish you would stop telling people I killed your father,” James sighed, going to put the kettle on for tea. He had a feeling he would need it. “If your father ever does die under mysterious circumstances, I’m going to be the prime suspect, because you have told every single person you know that I murdered him in cold blood. Including your siblings!”

“But it’s so funny how they always believe me!” Thomas grinned, coming over to press a kiss to James’s neck. “Besides, I’d visit you in prison.”

“You didn’t kill his father?” Silver asked, sounding far too disappointed at the prospect for James’s comfort.

“Of course not. I just threw him out of our home.”

“Technically it was his home, we were just living there.” Thomas corrected, still pressed against James.

“Wait,” Silver said, suspicious. “If that’s not true- were you lying to me this whole time?”

“You broke into my home; I’m entitled to mess with you.” Thomas turned back to him, triumphant and more than a bit smug.

“He broke in?”

“I certainly didn’t invite him.”

“Everything was a lie? Even the spy stuff? Flint, why didn’t you tell me you married a super villain!?” Silver exclaimed.

“You broke into our home; he’s entitled to fuck with you.” James echoed. “Now tea time’s over- get the fuck out.”

Silver stood up and flounced over to them. “I will, but only because I’m morally outraged at this duplicity.”

“Wait!” James grabbed him arm. “Turn out your pockets.”

“Why?” Silver purred, leaning into him. “I can tell you right now; there’s no pistol, I’m just so happy to see you.”

“Turn them out,” James repeated, shoving him away.

From his pockets, Silver pulled out three teaspoons, a bookend, a pair of cufflinks, a block of fancy cheese, and a soap dish.

James however was unsatisfied; inside John’s jacket he found the clock from the entrance hall, and from the back of his pants, tucked alongside his gun, was a third edition of The Count of Monte Cristo. Stuck into his shoe was a single chopstick.

“Just in case I come across any vampires!” Silver offered in explanation.

James didn’t know if the chopstick was his, but he confiscated it anyways, putting it on the table along with everything else.

“How did he take all of this?” Thomas asked, looking over the spread. “I was in the room with him the whole time!”

#writing about writing instead of writing #black sails #flinthamilton #silverflint #but like super pre-relationship silverflint #silverflinthamilton

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fart-gate · 5 years ago

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SG1

Season 1 episode 9

"BRIEF CANDLE"

Notes by me

- oh Greeks? I'm already mentally holding a wine glass

- daniel is SO excited

- this reminds me of that post that says something about introducing 21st century tech into ancient Greece. Anybody got a roomba

- ah yes the miracle of birth

- oh of course they all look at Sam bc shes a woman and every woman automatically just knows how to do baby stuff right? God guys get a grip

- DANIEL IS DELIVERING THE BABY

- he has experience from the yucatan 👑

- ITS A BOY! 💙

- "you never cease to amaze me with all your talents" that better be sincere Jack bc that was actually pretty badass

- "Dan El" aksbsiwjdhd 😍

- "I guess theyve never heard the word Unattractive before" lmfao hes SCREAMING that hes bi

- AHAHA when they make fun of Jack for having an admirer

- this is so uncomfortable I'm closing my eyes I do not see

- Jack you are DRUNK

- 100 days of nothin but partying man🤙

- HEY WHAT THE FUCK JACK MAYBE DONT SLEEP WITH SOME RANDO LADY YOU MEET Y I K E S

- whats so weird about passing out immediately without warning? I do it all the time

- jack:

- when Daniel takes his glasses off shits about to get real

- The False God was one o' them worm bitches

- Daniel : why didnt you tell me these symbols were goauld

Tealc: Ya didnt ask 💅

- this lady is 31 days old and Jack is regretting every choice he has ever made in his life

- a sexually transmitted virus LMFAO I know this is serious but Jack is gonna die bc he couldnt keep it in his pants

- Dr fraiser is becoming a good side character I really like her

- little bugs are having a rave in jacks blood

- old!Jack :(

- at least hes entitled to financial compensation now

- hes only got 2 weeks to live but theres 9 more seasons!!

- tealc wanting to stay😩😩❤❤❤

- the bugs are MACHINES ! HES GOT LITTLE ROBOTS RUNNING THRU OUT HIS BLOOD STREAM

- haha thats pretty Metal lol get it

- nano bots like in black panther

- MARRIAGE CAKE

- Jack is 40 confirmed

- oh good job Jack make the girl cry

- The little bastards ate sams gloves

- "dear sarah..."

- RDA does a good old guy. That voice? A+ acting

- this guy just wants to travel I get it man I Understand

- this girl just be kissing old guys out here like nothings nothin

- Hammond your orders are garbage and you can quote me on that

- "SIR!"

- Daniel is PISSED

- The videos they sent him. How many times did he rewind them

- hes an angry old man!

- omg theyre listening to him

- death to false gods!!!!

- "so you like older men do ya?" Ahdjsisnsjdbsjzbdb what in the hell

- shes talking to this crotchety old dude like "can you still fuck?" Ive never liked a relationship less

- hes awake.....at night

- Jack figuring it out!! He's got some brains too!!!! Even in his old age

- they saved everyone❤

- I'm gonna always be thinking about the boy named Dan El after Daniel for the rest of the series

- "I look like my grandfather!"

- jacks gonna age like Benjamin button for the next week

- this relationship is SO WEIRD . SHES LIKE 3 WEEKS OLD

- "I'll treasure every day of my life because of you" alright this be sweet as fuck though

Jack Oniell whump: drugged,memory loss, weak, passed out, hungover, rapid aging, emotional

🎶listening to Ribs by Lorde🎶 because these people never age and also the lyric "it drives you crazy getting old" is funny at jacks expense

#stargate season 1 #whump #jack whump season 1

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lightshadowverisimilitude · 7 years ago

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Purple Fog 3/?

Tony meets bb Tony!

[1][2]

As usual, mind the cut my mobile friends!

Tony could hear the two AIs communicating as a faint series of beeps and a low buzz. They could communicate silently if they wanted, but he thought they did it for their respective humans’ benefit, so it didn’t seem like they were talking behind Tony and Rhodey’s backs. Tony clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and examined Bolo’s read-out. The armor wasn’t identical to his, or any of his – the jaw section of the helmet was given the illusion of being too narrow by a wider circumference around the forehead, and the panels weren’t precisely the same colors in the same places, but it was unmistakably Iron Man. He watched as the distant Iron Man flew straight up in the air and disappeared into the clouds.

“That’s interesting,” Tony said finally. He could sense the slight tension over the comms as the rest of the team waited to be filled in on what was interesting. “There is a Stark Tower on the campus with what looks an awful lot like… well, me, flying above it.”

“That’s not all,” Scott broke in before anyone else could respond. “I just saw someone who looks a lot like a younger me chatting with someone who looks a lot like a younger Black Widow.”

“And I’ve got eyes on a Captain America and Falcon playing pool. Well… Falcon is playing pool, and Cap is watching,” Hope added. “There is also a Spiderman, and either a kin wearing a Spiderman costume over a pig mask, or a pig in a Spiderman costume.”

“What the hell is going on here?” Steve asked, bewildered and sounding both angry and annoyed. Tony could relate.

“I don’t know,” Hope answered, “But what I’m not seeing is anything that looks at all like an invasion force, unless you count the penguins. There are a lot of them wandering around the campus.”

“Yeah, one almost ate me,” Scott put in.

“You shouldn’t have been flying so close to its face,” Hope said.

“I wanted to see if it was real! It was holding a giant gun in its flippers!”

An alert flared in Tony’s ear, knocking him out of Rhodey’s display and back into his own. His proximity alarms were going crazy as the tree above him started to shake. He fired jets and repulsors, flinging himself backwards as a shape solidified above him and dropped out of the branches with a loud crash. Iron Man hit the forest floor in a hollow boom, dead leaves and dark loam flying up around him.

“I’ve been spotted!” he called out. He touched down lightly and then shot sideways. The other Iron Man followed him into the trees. “Get back from the tree line!” he ordered. With the comms open, he could already hear running footsteps through the trees. He tossed a repulsor blast behind him, but there was no returning shot as he wove around a pair of tree trunks and into the air. Iron Man chased after him, even more nimble in the suit than Tony.

“He doesn’t have as much firepower as we do,” Tadashi said, “but I think he’s faster.”

Tony broke left and fired all of his retro thrusters so hard that he lost several meters of altitude in the process. His stomach dropped, and he felt a moment’s vertigo, but Iron Man shot over his head, leaving his back exposed as Tony regained his altitude and then some. He ended up above Iron Man with his shoulder rockets out and aimed.

Iron Man flipped over so he was flying on his back. It was an impressive maneuver that Tony only attempted when he was flying for fun, or dire necessity. In that position, Iron Man had to keep both of his arms angled down and backward to stabilize himself, and Tony knew from experience that it was hell on the abdominal muscles, even he locked the hip and shoulder joints and rested into the backplate.

“I’ve never met another me before,” Iron Man called over the wind as they flew together, their speed and courses matched to nearly rest-relative. “We’ve had duplicates before – we’re lousy with Spidermans and Spiderwomans, but you’re the first alternate Iron Man. Are you me in there, or in your universe are you like… Steve Rogers?”

Getting over the shock of it, Tony said, “I guess whether or not I’m you depends on whether or not you’re me.”

Iron Man laughed. “Alright, that’s true. Want to take this to the ground? I’ve got some pretty fantastic abs, but this is killin’ me!”

Tony looked past Iron Man’s shoulder to see that they’d left the trees behind and were flying over the campus. In a large square bordered by benches on one side and what looked like an announcement board in the adjacent corner were dozens of upturned faces. Tadashi helpfully ran recognition and pointed out people they “knew:” Steve, looking ludicrously young and dressed in a tight t-shirt with his silver star on the breast and a pair of cargo pants; Spiderman, flanked by the pig-shaped Spiderman Hope had seen and a young woman in a white hoodie; Natasha in a red bodycon suit with a black motorcycle jacket and red glasses; Sam in his Falcon gear; Rhodey as a young man in a gray digital camouflage and a shoulder rig; Vision in a long yellow coat, and the Hulk looming at one side of the square with his massive arms crossed over his equally massive chest. There were dozens more that Tony couldn’t identify, including what looked like a raccoon in a leather vest with a gun.

“Doesn’t seem like I have much choice,” Tony said finally. He pulled the shoulder rockets back into their housing and rolled right, letting Iron Man turn over. Switching back to the internal comm line, he said, “Get back to the rendezvous and stay out of sight. I’m going to land and see what’s going on here.”

“Iron Man… Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Steve asked tightly.

“I don’t have a lot of choice at the moment, but I don’t think they realize you’re here yet. Just get clear, stay under cover, and wait for my word.” Tony pulled up in a hover, watching Iron Man do the same. Keeping pace with his counterpart, Tony lowered himself to the ground. Underneath them, the crowd of bodies parted to leave them a clear landing zone.

“We’ve got your six, Iron Man,” Scott whispered. “Well, I’ve got your six. Hope has your… Eleven-thirty?”

Tony felt his right eye twitch. “Thanks.”

As soon as they were on solid ground, Iron Man reached up and tapped the side of his neck. The faceplate opened and the helmet peeled back, revealing a face Tony hadn’t seen in decades – himself, maybe nineteen or twenty years old, before the world had etched care and trauma into the corners of his eyes. Tony was so stunned by it that he could only stare, his breath coming in shaky waves that echoed hard inside the helmet.

“Boss? Based on facial recognition –”

“It’s me,” Tony broke in. “That’s me.”

“So,” Tony’s younger self asked, “Are you here to start a fight? If you are, you need to register with Hill – she’s in charge of organizing those things. I can take you to the admin building if you want. Did you bring minions? Please tell me it’s robots! I can make robots to fight your robots. Steve is gonna be so mad,” he continued excitedly, pumping his fist into the air.

Tony held up a hand before the manic gleam in the younger man’s eyes got past the point of idea to activity – Tony remembered that feeling very well, the swelling excitement, the way his legs used to tingle with the need to move and get things accomplished, when he’d felt so flooded with energy and anticipation that it felt like he was going to explode. Tony hesitated, but then reached up and retracted his own helmet.

“Oh,” the young Tony said disappointedly, “You’re old.” He squinted his eyes. “You better not be Howard.”

Tony saw a rustle of movement behind the young Iron Man and Rhodey stepped up to his side. The sight of him made Tony’s breath catch – this was the James Rhodes that he’d been more than half in love with as a boy, the James Rhodes who had befriended him at MIT and spoke up for him quietly among the other students, but never stepped in front of Tony when he was confronted directly. The James Rhodes that had calmed the wild anger in Tony’s chest and helped him move past the pain and disappointment of Howard’s abuse and his mother’s neglect. He’d held Tony’s hand at his parents’ funeral, and nursed him through dozens of hangovers. This young face, too, had not yet felt the crushing weight of wars, wasn’t terrorized by nightmares, or disenchanted by politics.

“I’m not Howard,” Tony breathed. His throat was tight and he could feel the prickling burn of tears at the corner of his eyes. “I’m.” He cleared his throat and pushed aside the flood of memories from the happy years at MIT. “My name is Tony Stark. I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I’m not here to fight you. No robots necessary.”

Young Tony looked so immediately despondent that Tony almost apologized, but the young Rhodey put an arm around his shoulders. “Why don’t we go supe up the roombas so they can chase after the penguins?”

Iron Man perked up and twisted to look into the crowd. He grinned at Sam standing stoically at the young Steve’s side, and then said, “I think I have a better idea.”

“My God,” Tony said, finally really looking around the gathered crowd. “You’re all so young.”

None of them looked like they could be older than twenty-five, and most looked significantly younger. He flicked his wrists to roll his gauntlets back and rubbed at his face, pushing his thumbs into his temples to feel the pressure of it. He couldn’t figure out what was happening, or how these kids could have been responsible for the fog surrounding New York. He couldn’t even figure out how these could possible exist.

After several moments of quiet, a rustle of chatter went through the crowd. They parted slowly, and Nick Fury walked through the opening with his hands clasped behind his back. Behind him, a tall, willowy man with blond hair and a goatee, a woman in a black and green leather outfit that screamed Dominatrix, and a Viking who stood head, shoulders, and most of his chest over Nick’s head. He didn’t recognize the other three – though he had a sinking suspicion about the Viking – but even Nick look young. Older, perhaps, than the kids around them, but young. Maybe middle thirties.

“Welcome to Avengers Academy, Iron Man,” Nick greeted, and he had an actual smile on his face. Tony hadn’t seen Nick Fury smile since he’d been a boy, maybe not since before Howard and Mom’s funeral.

“Nick,” Tony greeted cautiously. “What exactly is Avengers Academy?”

“Training grounds for heroes,” Nick provided readily. He made a broad gesture with one hand, inviting Tony to look around them. More buildings, very few of them following the same style. He could see the golden tower to one side, a cylinder of a building beyond that, the lab Steve had mentioned with a sparking set of Tesla coils on top, behind Tony was a stadium, and just barely visible beyond that was what looked like a Gladiatorial arena.

Tony eyed the surrounding kids, Nick Fury looking half his age, the Hulk standing more-or-less tamely among a crowd of people, even Vision, somehow looking like a teenager. He locked eyes with Nick. Their relationship had soured after Tony’s parents’ death, but Nick had once been “Uncle Nick” to him, had been a friend to Jarvis and Peggy, had been at Tony’s birthdays and the Thanksgiving table.

“Are you responsible?” Tony asked, gesturing behind him to the wall of fog visible over the tree tops. “Have you done this?”

CUT

He could have been imagining it, but he thought Nick’s good eye widened at the question before his expression shut down in that mask that had eventually driven a wedge between them. Inscrutable, hiding secrets he refused to divulge even if it meant lives, even if it meant Tony’s life. Tony felt a rash of disappointment and turned away from him.

“We’re not,” the young Steve spoke up. “We’ve been trapped here for…Whew. As long as I can remember.”

Tony nodded faintly. “In my... universe,” he said, trying not to laugh, “the city of New York has been surrounded by this fog. All the probes I sent through came here. I’m here to bring it down.”

Nick snorted, “You’re welcome to try.” He held up one hand to forestall Tony’s immediate response and added, “We didn’t put it here, but it sounds like we’ve been working a lot longer than you to bring it down. We’ve had some very minor success, but, as you can see, it’s still there.”

The young Iron Man snapped his fingers in sudden excitement and ran off through the crowd, nudging people out of the way. Rhodey widened his stance to step into the place his friend had just abandoned, crossing his arms and eyeing Tony suspiciously. It was surreal, staring at Rhodey and thinking how young and innocent, and happy he looked. The crowd broke into small groups of whispering young people, but the feel of it was so different than the times he’d been on college campuses. The morning Steve and his team were supposed to be in Lagos, Tony was supposed to be preparing for a talk at MIT to announce the September Foundation and the scholarships for MIT students. He’d granted scholarships to universities and community college before, had run a smaller program through the Maria Stark foundation for women in STEM for almost a decade. He was used to college kids, but these kids were different. Some of them were younger even than he was used to facing, but they were weighed down with weapons and some of them were even dressed in ridiculous costumes, and some of them stood next to their twins. It was eerie.

After several long minutes passed where the chatting grew gradually louder, and some of the kids even lost interest and wandered away, Iron Man returned carrying two of Tony’s drones against his chest. He jostled them in his arms. “These are yours?”

Tony bobbed his head.

“We found almost fifty of them in the woods,” Nick said. “That’s a lot of drones for one man to come through on his own.”

“I only ever got one of them to come back,” Tony pointed out reasonably.

“That makes sense,” Iron Man said easily. “I’ve been sending drones in forever, and I’ve never gotten any of them to come back. I know I wouldn’t take anyone else through the fog with me if I wasn’t sure they’d even make it through. Did you ever find any of mine?”

Tony shook his head mutely. “The fog has only been in New York for a few days.”

Iron Man frowned. “We’ve managed to uncover areas of the fog that seem like they’ve been just brought here from other places. Maybe… Maybe the fog is trying to take your city and bring it here.”

Tony pointed between two of the buildings at the familiar crush of skyscrapers and apartments beyond the walls of the academy. “Looks like you have a New York City of your own already here.”

Iron Man waved one hand awkwardly, still clutching the drones against his chest. “There’s only about three blocks in and four down to the dock. After that, it’s just fog. The buildings are all fake – there’s no way in to any of them. Doors and windows are covered up by concrete, the manholes are painted onto the street. Out to sea, you could go on forever and ever, but there’s nothing.”

Examining his younger self and all the young kids arranged around him, Tony said, “There were eddies in the fog.”

“I thought those might be portals,” Iron Man interrupted. “But I’ve never been able to get anything to transmit through them. I even tried to send some of your drones. I’ve repaired – and seriously, also, just to let you know, improved on – well, Moongirl I did, but whatever. We made them better. We’ve sent thirteen of them through. Nothing transmits, nothing comes back.”

Tony swallowed and let out a controlled breath. They’d all known there was a chance that it would be a one way trip. He just hoped that their one way trip didn’t spell out the end for the city they’d left behind. “That changes things,” he decided. “I was hoping for someone to punch in the face.”

“Just what we need, another punch happy idiot.”

The voice inspired an immediate reaction in Tony. Snapping the gauntlets back up, Tony charged the repulsors and whirled to point them at Loki. The whole quad reacted, weapons charging and fists coming up. Startled, Loki as a boy just as young as the others, put both of his hands up. His eyes were almost comically wide, and God, he looked like any prep school punk Tony had gone to school with – black hair neatly disheveled, dressed in black and green blazer and matching pants. The only thing he carried that Tony’s classmates hadn’t, was a familiar golden staff.

“Loki,” Tony greeted tightly. He remembered Clint screaming his way out of nightmares, Bruce startling himself awake when he’d fallen asleep at a table, checking his skin for a hint of green pigment in a panic. He remembered the sight of the Chitauri ships through the portal into the void, the pressure of it against his skin, Jarvis’ voice fading out.

“Have we met?” Loki asked. His voice broke in the middle of it, turning the question into a squeak.

Tony looked around unhappily. He was surrounded, vastly outnumbered, and whatever madness was going on in this place, Loki – this teenage boy – was a part of it. He knew that Loki had the power to change his shape, and wondered if the whole situation could be of Loki’s creation. What would he possibly have to gain by inserting himself into a world where he and all of earth’s heroes were little more than children, trapped in an interminable fog?

From the crowd behind Loki, a larger figure pushed past a young blond woman in green and gold. Thor, looking like a frat boy linebacker, put a big hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I don’t know you, Iron Man,” Thor rumbled, “But if you are at all the man who has been my friend, please. Lower your weapon.”

Loki glowered up at him, but Thor looked even more open, and cheerful, and guileless than he had the first time Tony had seen him grinning at the hellicarrier as if charmed by the futile attempts at technology of his human hosts. Tony looked right and left, and then noticed the specks of flying ants drifting lazily over Loki’s head. It wasn’t just Tony’s safety at sake – if he attacked, Hope and Scott would give themselves away trying to help, and they wouldn’t help balance the odds at all. Without his helmet up, he couldn’t tell them to back off privately, and if he said anything aloud, it would just give away their position.

Tony slowly lowered his arm. A grin broke out across Thor’s face and he pounded Loki happily on the back. Loki stumbled under the force of it, and then straightened up and gave Thor a poisonous glare. At least that hadn’t changed.

“I think we’re on the same side, here,” Nick said after a tense moment while the whine of Tony’s repulsors faded. “So why don’t you ask your friends to come out of the trees, and we can sit down to a meal, and talk about this like adults?”

Looking at all the relative children around him, Tony sighed. He could try to deny that he had in friends in the trees at all, but he could tell from the cant of Nick’s lips that he knew already. The trees were thin, and unless Steve made the extremely risky decision of trying to retreat back through the fog, they had nowhere to go. He pulled his helmet back up and keyed into the comm system. A burst of low, urgent arguing immediately flooded the airwaves.

“There’s no place we can retreat to, and we don’t have the gear or supplies for some kind of cat and mouse game, not with how small this forest is. If we’re going to go in and get him back, we have to do it now before they know we’re here.”

“I think Tony’s handling it fine,” Hope argued.

“Tony is handling it fine,” Tony broke in. “Whatever weirdness is going on here, I don’t think these people are controlling the fog, and they’ve been studying it a lot longer than we have. If we have any chance of getting this fog lifted from New York, I think we’re going to have to work together. Though keeping Peter, Hope, and Scott hidden away might not be a bad idea. Just in case.”

Silence followed while everyone chewed over Tony’s words. He could practically hear Steve’s gears grinding. “If you think we can trust them,” he said with a breath.

“I think we don’t have a lot of other choices,” Tony corrected. “Kid-Loki is here.”

“And that led you to the conclusion that we can trust them?” Rhodey demanded.

“He’s a kid,” Tony stressed. “Patch into my display.” There was a beep and then a small round picture of his best friend caught with his mouth comically open as he chased a sliding string of cheese from a piece of pizza popped up in the right-hand corner.

“Hey, Bolo,” Tadashi greeted. “Check this guy out.”

Tony turned his head so Loki was once again centered in the display. Like everyone around him, Loki was eyeing Tony suspiciously. He looked even younger with his mouth pursed in displeasure and eyebrows knitted together.

“Woah,” Rhodey said finally. He huffed out a breath. “I still don’t like it.”

“We can’t go back through the fog – my… younger self has never gotten a single drone, even mine to get through the fog. There’s nowhere in the forest to hide, the city is filled with fake buildings, the ocean is apparently endless. What other choice do we have?”

“No,” Steve broke in. “We don’t. Alright, Hope, Scott – find some place to hide and stay small as long as you can. Peter, back up in the trees. Stay out of sight and stay on the comms. Keep an eye on the campus and let us know if you see anything weird going on.”

“Cap?” Hope broke in, “I think.” She cleared her throat. “I think my parents are down there. Some version of them. My mother is younger than I am.”

“We’re not interested in fighting if we don’t have to,” Steve said gently. “And once we know what we’re up against, you can talk to them.”

She said nothing, but made a vague noise of agreement.

Tony pushed his helmet back and flashed a smile at the surrounding crowd. More of them had moved away, leaving Tony surrounded by what seemed to be a core group of characters – Nick and his three companions, Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, the girl he’d seen earlier in her yellow shorts, War Machine, Falcon, Thor and Loki.

They waited in uneasy silence until motion at the tree line caught their attention. Steve came through first, his shield out but arm down at his side. Rhodey, Sam, and Natasha followed afterward. They were tense as they moved down the path to the square, and their younger counterparts spread out to meet them.

The young Rhodey poked at War Machine’s tank armor, examining it curiously. “Cool,” he decided.

Rhodey retracted the helmet. He hiked an eyebrow at his younger self, and then finally said, “Tony and I made it.” He gave Tony an uncertain glance over War Machine’s head. “Cool shoulder rig.”

War Machine gave him a sly look. “Tony and I made it,” he said.

“This is going to be fun,” Tony muttered.

“Way fun,” Iron Man agreed. He held up a fist, and then cautiously added, “Iron Man bros?”

Tony glanced down at his fist, and then thought of how many times he’d been brushed aside by an adult, an older student, a potential friend. He summoned up a smile and tapped his knuckles against his younger counterparts. “Iron Man bros,” he agreed.

#ladyshadowdrake writes #stony #avac #avac/mcu crossover #some fluff sprinkling of angstiness #assembling the cast #what is AVAC's thing about penguins anyway?#purple fog fic

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