#romantic relationships? yes friendships and other bonds are equally important but you also can't just call ppl amatonormative for wanting

[jojotichakorn]

Hey Archer.

In P’Jojo we trust. But if you were able to have 5 things happen in the OFTS finale, what 5 things would you have on your list? High on my list is someone doing a Bohemian Rhapsody karaoke performance. I’ll take anyone actually. I just want to scream my lungs out to that song come Saturday 🤷🏾‍♀️

hello, anon!! that is a very interesting question, thanks for asking <3 idk if bohemian rhapsody karaoke is strictly possible due to how much it would probably cost for the production, but sand in particular would definitely have a good time and a ball, if he got to sing some queen!

as for me, ofts is kind of unique in a sense that i genuinely can't imagine anything that might happen upsetting me. i am fully open to any endings that we might get. however, if i had to pick:

ray and boston friends again! as someone who both does not believe in ray and mew being actual genuine friends at all and who has felt like ray joining chueam and mew in dogpiling on boston was really not that important to him anymore, i personally think the ideal outcome is for ray and boston to just reconcile and become besties.

the initial friend group disassembling! i've talked about this before - i think it makes the most sense for boston, nick, sand, and ray to be one friend group, and top, mew, chueam, and april to be another. i think they'd all be happier this way.

i think i'd probably like a little flashforward or something like that? i know they aren't people's favourite thing, but i do think that the question of whether any of the relationships that formed would stand the simple test of time is a pretty significant one for this cast. they keep tripping over issues and will continue doing so throughout pretty much the whole finale so finding out whether that ever stops would be interesting. i also think it would be cute to see the friendships survive, maybe even sandray & nick visiting boston in new york (which i now realise sounds funny, considering boston's nickname).

a final follow-up on boston! unlike seemingly the rest of the fandom, i have not confidently landed on what exactly boston wants and likes at all. yes, we have seen him enjoy a lot of sex, but he has also not really been with anyone while nick and he were hanging out (outside of his very special psychosexual issues about top), so many interpretations are probable. on the one hand, i think it's possible monogamous relationships are not for him at all and he simply wants a close platonic bond with someone, while not getting particularly attached to them alone in other ways. on the other hand, i think it is equally possible that the combination of his upbringing and his general socialisation as a guy lead to him being emotionally closed-off in a deeply unhealthy way and he does actually want a romantic relationship - maybe open, maybe not. i would love to know what we land on concretely.

boeing take-down! as fun as it has been to watch him wreak havoc on pretty much everyone - he is, at the end of the day - a slimey, obnoxiously confident little weasel, and it would be enjoyable to see someone put him in his place. mew already did some of that, but i want someone to finish him off. don't care who. just anyone.

as i said, nothing actually depends on these happening or not. i'm highly unlikely to be disappointed with the finale. but if i had to choose, these five would be fun!

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Hellooo ^^ Long time no see (and also apologies for the radio silence). I've recently been noseying around your OC tag and loved what I've seen of Kalagna Brosca and Neira Surana 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 So, if I may, for them & also for Var'Renan and Noya (whom I already know better but am also pondering from time to time), may I request Friendship and Future? Feel free to pick and choose between OCs ^^ And have a lovely day!!

[ask game]

Heyy, it's good to see you! :D Of course you may, it makes me happy to hear you enjoy them! <33

Friendship: What's your OC like as a friend? How are they at making new friends? What are the most important friendships in your OC's life?

Neira: She is actually Really Bad at making new friends because she usually keeps to herself a lot and worries too much, so her getting on with practically all her travelling companions was quite the change. As a friend she is very supportive and a good listener, always happy to lend an ear and to offer help where she can. On the flip side it can be very annoying to get her to do the same for herself, but well. Honestly all the friends she's made during the blight are important in different ways, but Alistair's friendship is at the top. During the blight they were very close and big anchors for each other, and part of that bond stays even when they start to grow apart. Before that was Jowan, who was her only close friend in the tower.

Kala: Even worse at making friends than Neira lmao but she is entirely fine with this. The few friends that she has are more than enough for her, and she cares about them deeply. As a friend Kala is, first and foremost, unwaveringly loyal. And protective. Not in a coddling way, but in a "i will prioritise your wellbeing over anyone else's Always" way. Rica was by far the most important person in her life, and still is, to an extent. As much as they hated separating, the forced distance actually made their relationship way more healthy. Alistair has become an equally important person in her life, and Zevran isn't far behind.

Noya: She's that proactive friend who tries to get you involved in events or drags you along for shenanigans. Can be A Lot but really just wants to share their excitement and wants to make their friends feel involved. Reactions to her are definitely split; she can be intense and pushy and there were more than enough people in the alienage who gave her her wide berth for her troublemaker reputation. If she likes you though you can be absolutely sure that she has your back. She is very close with both her cousins, although she can't deny that Shianni is her favourite. Yes, even though she fought with her more than with anyone else.

Var'renan: The friend who is dubbed the Sensible friend but is actually just as bad. ...Ok maybe he's a little more sensible. Or at least they have a decent judgement of when to stop before things go Too bad. And then when you go through with it anyway they will stand by and tell you "i told you so." Will still defend you in front of the Keeper though. And yes all of this is mostly in reference to Taren lol. The two of them were inseparable and there were teasing whispers about them boding, but there was never any romantic intention between them. After being conscripted Morrigan was the first person to make them open up and feel less isolated, and he hates that they parted ways on bad terms.

Future: Is there anyone your OC is looking forward to meeting or to seeing again? Who? What might that meeting or reunion look like?

Neira: She never saw Jowan again after Redcliffe, and part of her really wishes she could meet again and apologise. She feels guilty about what happened to him, but she also just. Misses her oldest friend.

Kala: She never got close to many people in the first place so there aren't any people who she misses/wants to see, really. She was desperate to see Rica again after being conscripted and that reunion went better than she could have hoped (she half expected Rica to be dead, so seeing her alive and well and with child lifted a huge weight of her heart)

Noya: After Duncan took her away, the one thing she wanted was get back to her family. When she was finally there, the reunion was... about as bad as she expected, but not in the way she expected? The situation was bad but she didn't anticipate it feeling so bad as well, in that moment. After all that is dealt with, since Warden duties keep her away from home a lot, she is happy to see her father and cousins and childhood friends again whenever she can. And she'd love to get to see Sten again sometime!

Var'renan: Well. The one person they wanted to see again the most was Tamlen, and we all know how that turned out :') Apart from that probably Merrill; if they met Renan would have very mixed feelings about her eluvian project though. Provided they survive, they also have an urge to find Morrigan again after hearing the rumours about a roaming witch. Which.. wasn't something he realised he wanted this badly. He isn't even sure why; revenge? closure? an explanation?

[saurondrielprompts]

I've never written fan fiction before, and I haven't even really read that much of it before finding this little community, but this show has gotten under my skin in a very serious way and I have this piece about Galadriel and Sauron that I kind of want to post. But I can't write sex scenes. They always turn out absurd (huge admiration for all the people here who can write these scenes so well! How do you do this?!)

So, apologies if this is a stupid question, but do people actually read non-erotic fan fiction? Are people going to give negative feedback if I tag something as being about this relationship but there's no sex and Galadriel and Sauron are both a bit clueless and very not-relatably-human in how they deal with the whole question of their relationship?

Thanks, and hope it's not a totally silly question.

This isn’t a silly question at all!

And the short answer is, omg yes, people will read and love your non smutty fanfic!

There are many different types of fics. Some aren’t even romantic. I’ve personally written two friendship fics during my time in fandom space, and the response to them both was beyond positive.

(Of course if you ever go that route you have to expect not to get nearly as many readers, as most people are here for the romance.) Also I should add, if you’re tagging fics as Sauron x Galadriel or Saurondriel, people are probably going to expect romance. If your fic is about a non-romantic relationship with a pairing, it’s probably best to tag it as Sauron & Galadriel.

When it comes to smut, there are a lot of readers who love the emotional connection between their ship just as much, if not more so, than the physical.

There are some people that find it hard to even enjoy the smutty aspects of a fic if the story or emotional parts are lacking. The story, romance, character development, and/or bond comes first and the smut is just the icing on the proverbial cake. But it’s also not necessary if all the other important ingredients are there.

Then there’s people who genuinely just don’t like reading smut. They absolutely exist. My ace brother is one of them. Boy’s been reading Harry Potter fanfic for almost a decade and has never once read a sex scene, nor will he ever lol.

Are people going to give negative feedback if I tag something as being about this relationship but there’s no sex and Galadriel and Sauron are both a bit clueless and not-relatably-human in how they deal with the whole question of their relationship?

This ship tag does not equal sex. I mean, sure some fans do want the sex, but that’s not an expectation unless you tag it as containing sex. So no, no one is going to be giving you negative feedback for that at all.

All I can tell you is to tag your fic properly. If there’s a certain trigger (character death, extreme violence, etc.) in your fic that you don’t tag, then yes, someone might get understandably upset about that. There are certain things people do not wish to read for their own enjoyment and mental health.

And oh my gosh, these two being clueless and not relatably human in how they deal with their relationship sounds AMAZING! I would absolutely read that with or without smut.

So go forth. Write your smutless fanfic. And have fun!

[glittertimes]

It's not valentine's day anymore but I have some thoughts lol! Like I wish things didn't have to be so black & white sometimes? I feel like you can learn a lot from the ways aspec folks challenge amatonormativity and a lot of the ideas about love and care / being kinder that lot of lgbt folks are drawn to lately.

I don't think they have to cancel each other out, or that all discussions about love are inherently amatonormative. Also I think lgbt folks who aren't aspec deserve a place where they can talk about crushes and reblog silly things about love and other things.

I also don’t think making posts about being kind or about love being important is amatonormative. And I’m saying this as someone who’s identified as aspec since I was like 15 and wants acceptance and inclusion for aspec folks.

But I think fighting against the idea that human connection is necessary is kind of dangerous? Not because I want to preserve hetero/amatonormativity but because just like society pushes us to be in romantic relationships, it also pushes us to be sort of uncaring and value individuality over connection. 

And just like amatonormativity is a product of capitalism, so are the isolation and loneliness that make amatonormativity so prevalent! I don’t think we can really tackle amatonormativity without talking about isolation / loneliness and how that affects different groups of people!

I wrote an essay on amatonormativity for a class 2 years ago, and the whole concept of amatonormativity is built off the way it harms women, lgbt folks, people of color and disabled folks! These groups are already marginalized and isolated bc of societal stigma and bigotry. And I think connection / collaboration are key to fighting oppression! 

No one needs romance to have value or to live a good life, but we do need each other in some way. Isolation also makes it harder for aspec folks to collaborate with lgbt folks who aren’t aspec, so we end up coming up with really different ideas that are sometimes harmful or misguided. 

All I’m trying to say is that lgbt folks making uquizzes is not the same thing as romantic love being frequently commodified / sold to us and positioned as the only option. Also feeling excluded doesn’t justify being rude to others or invalidating their experiences as well.