#roman sanders centric

[halfhissandwich]

@analoginceweek Day Five: “Here is where we shall stay.”

Story below! (Part two to Day Four)

“Hey, Virge, I need to go, Thomas is getting tired and I’m on dream duty tonight.” Roman informs Virgil of his situation. “Can… can you stay here and make sure our Perfect Professor is okay?”

“Nice alliteration… and yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll stay.” Virgil mumbles that last sentence more to himself than to Roman, but the prince gets the message regardless, and appears grateful as he pecks Virgil’s lips, causing the latter’s eyeshadow to quickly turn a sparkly purple color before he pulls away, lightheartedly slapping Roman’s arm. “You dork!”

“Haha! You know you love me, Virgil!” Roman playfully winks at him and Virgil’s face flushes when he finds that he can’t refute that claim. So he responds with a simple roll of his eyes. “I- oh, crap, I gotta go. You’ll be okay here?” Roman asks quickly, and when he gets a nod in response, he kisses Virgil’s cheek. “Bye V, tell Logan I said bye, I love both of you!” Roman takes a bow and sinks out.

Drama prince.

Virgil sits outside of Logan’s room for about 2 minutes before Logan finally opens the door, just a crack. Virgil jumps in surprise, looking at the door to find that Logan had in fact opened it… but Logan isn’t in the position that he had hoped. He still looked sad but on top of that, his eyes were a bright orange color, a sign that Virgil knew the significance of. “Logan…?” Virgil slowly speaks, trying not to provoke him.

Upon hearing Virgil say his name, Logan bursts into tears and falls down to his knees, babbling incoherent apologies to Virgil’s surprise. “I’m so- sorry- sor-” Logan practically chokes on his own sobs, prompting Virgil to kneel beside him and place his hands on Logan’s shoulders, observing the dark eyeshadow under Logan’s eyes. “L-Logan, hey, hey. Shhhh… look at me.” Virgil is unable to keep his own voice from shaking as he tries to get Logan’s attention, but Logan miraculously looks up at Virgil, breaking his heart with his terrified expression. “Do something for me. I want you to name five things you can see.” Virgil instructs, surprising Logan with the exercise that Logan had guided Virgil through before.

Shaking somewhat violently, Logan’s eyes shoot around the room, trying to decide what to say. “I-I can see… my- my bookshelf, I see… I s-see your s-sweatshirt… and your shirt… and I also see the lights in my room… and my blanket… was that five…?” Logan asks, gently fidgeting with the strings of Virgil’s hoodie, causing a warm smile to appear on Virgil’s face.

“Well done, Logan, that was five, very good.” Virgil praises Logan, keeping his hands steady on Logan’s shoulders, his own anxiety dying down with Logan’s success, which seems to also help Logan feel better. “Four things you can touch?”

As Logan continues through the exercise with Virgil’s guidance, Logan slowly finds himself being more and more grounded, and at the exercise’s conclusion, his newly orange eyes gaze into Virgil’s purple ones with hesitance, yet still with admiration. “You… you remembered.” Logan observes.

“Of course I did.” Virgil assures. “I still use that exercise a lot when I start feeling overwhelmed by my anxiety. It’s nice to have different options, know what I mean?” Logan nods wordlessly. Virgil looks at Logan’s eyes, then down at his hands as he takes them in his own, finally observing the elephant in the room. “So… he’s been bothering you.”

Logan averts his gaze, tears threatening to fall again as he nods. “He has… but not just him.” Logan starts, trying to find the courage to tell Virgil what had happened. Virgil, seeming to understand Logan’s feelings, squeezes his hands in order to give Logan the reassurance he needs. It proves successful as Logan continues talking. “When… when Thomas was cleaning, Remus showed up and started doing… doing his thing. I gave Thomas different methods to make himself feel better about how Remus was bothering him, but then he… he…” Logan clears his throat in an attempt to continue speaking. Nothing happens when he tries again. He clears his throat and tries to speak again. Nothing happens.

“What did Remus do, Logan?” Virgil asks, being as gentle with his question as possible, and struggling to hide his surprise when Logan yells. “HE MADE ME MAD! I- … I felt… so angry. He was ignoring me when I was trying to talk some sense and it felt like my blood was burning. And then he was right! The second that Nico called Thomas, Thomas started completely ignoring my efforts to tell him that implementing this damn schedule!” Logan rises, pulls out the schedule he had worked so hard to create with Thomas, a relic of how valuable he is, and rips it apart.

Upon seeing Virgil tense up at Logan’s outburst, Logan sighs and sits back down. “I’m sorry, Virgil… I just… I feel…” Logan begins, but trails off. Virgil holds his hand, wanting him to finish speaking. “I f-feel… sad. And mad.” Logan admits, lacking the appropriate emotional vocabulary to put a precise name to his feelings. “And I… something about Roman… he kept making me think about Remus. Like, I would see Roman but also see Remus. And I know that’s terrible! He’s nothing like Remus, I know that! Roman is bright, and intelligent, and funny, and… clean.” Logan looks down, avoiding meeting Virgil’s tense gaze.

“… I get it. When I first came to the light side, Roman did usually, well… remind me of Remus.” Virgil admits. “Granted, I barely knew Roman and I grew up with Remus, but still… We both know how amazing Roman is now, and we know that while he is similar to his brother, he’s different in all the ways that matter. He’s kind, he respects the space of others, he is able to reflect on his actions and take accountability and feel guilt when he makes mistakes, and well… when he makes us angry, there are good intentions behind it, right?” Virgil asks, prompting Logan to nod.

“I had a feeling that my brother was behind this somehow.”

Virgil and Logan both jump in terror realizing that Roman had returned, apparently done with his duties in creating a dream for Thomas. Virgil waves hello, but Logan is frozen as he desperately tries to explain himself to the prince, who was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a neutral expression on his face. “Oh my god…” Logan tears up. “Oh god, Roman, I’m so sorry… I swear, I didn’t mean to compare you to Remus, I promise, I… you… you aren’t mad, are you?”

“Mad? Oh I am absolutely furious, but not at you, mi amor.” Roman takes one of Logan’s hands in both of his own. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I… I haven’t? But… I thought I hated when-” Logan starts.

“I hate when people imply that the only thing keeping me from being the evil twin is a mustache.” Roman clarifies with a small jab at Janus. “My brother and I are very similar, Logan, I know that. And I understand that if there are two Creativities, then they will naturally be connected. But you weren’t even comparing us, Logan, you looked at me and you were reminded of an event that really hurt you less than an hour prior.”

Listening to Roman’s voice was enough to completely soothe Logan’s tense body, his shoulders relaxing and his breathing slowing to a relaxed pattern. “May I hold you, Logan?” Virgil smiles, to which Logan snuggles up to him, letting himself be vulnerable in his partner’s arms as Roman maintains his hold on Logan’s hand. “Is there anything I can do to help you?” Roman asks. Logan looks at him, then down at the ripped piece of paper he had left at his feet. He pauses.

“Can you give me some tape?”

[meowthefluffy]

An update on my unfinished au’s!

I have over the last few months fallen deeply out of love with the Sanders Sides series and as a result I have not updated any of my projects in some time. At the current point I am at I am only planning to do the final two installments in the cupid au (because I pretty much lost my affection for the ts series right before the big finale of the project!!) and the lust Roman au (as it is my longest running work to date and I want to comple the project as a show of dedication to my younger self) although it will most likely be on a much quicker time scale than I was intending originally! (Instead of the 11 more parts I was hoping to produce it will probably be closer to 5 and I will most likely skip a few parts of the story that weren’t as important)

I feel a lot of affection for the work I have created but not a lot for the actual series so I’m trying to find a way to rework the stories I’ve created for the au’s to become independent creations that I will enjoy continuing to make! (Aside from the Lust au which I feel is mostly a story I don’t feel the need to come back to/rework since it relies so heavily on the source material) Most of my au’s function as stories mostly separate from canon material except for the characters archetypes present in each, so I’ll be working on retooling/reskinning said work to be more original and workable as long term projects! (Since u guys were really invest in my plots which had almost nothing to do with the canon characterization)

I’m currently working on retooling the Zombie au (Which I used as heavy inspiration for my oc Sophia I sometimes post about and her girlfriend) the Cupid au (I’m putting together more creative designs for the characters so that I can hopefully redo the comic- since I’m super in love with the concept) The sleeping beauty au (since it functions entirely the same as a stand alone story- and I could use the designs of my princess characters from that comic I made a long time ago for Valentine’s Day ) and the Super hero au! (Which I never properly defined and thus have a lot of incomplete ideas for, and my only struggle is coming up with better super hero names for them)

The only one of my main au’s I probably won’t rework is the Evil king au- just because I’m not sure how I could retool it to not just be a story about abuse(I feel more comfortable creating a story where everything is horrible and bad and the people involved are just bad for eachother when it’s an au- because there is other work of those characters where they aren’t that way to balance it out- but if it were my own new characters I feel as though it wouldn’t be nearly as fun to read or write)

This is a series of decisions I’ve been trying to wait on for a long time because I have been hoping something sanders Sides related would come out soon that would re spark my interest but nothing so far has happened- and with the way the story is going I don’t think it’s something that is going to happen. I still love all the work I have created for this fandom and I am so proud of all the collaborative projects I have been able to create with you all! I will happily re-read your asks and comments on my comics and I am still really proud of the community I’ve been able to create!

I’m sad to let this part of my life go (it’s taken up a solid 4th of my lifetime) and I understand that a lot of you all won’t follow me to my new projects- because I understand you guys didn’t come here for random oc projects- or original comics. And Altho it breaks my heart to see some of you move on and leave my notifications I am happy I the time with you all that I did!

Thank you all for everything- and I’ll see you soon 💖

[soysaucevictim]

"̴̈ͅY̴̘̆o̸͈̔u̸̞͂ ̶̝͆w̴̡̄é̶͚r̵͙͘e̵̪͌ ̵̙͒n̷̗̔e̵̫̒v̴̖͐ë̷̯ṛ̶́ ̶̳̅h̶͌͜u̶̹̍m̶̬̕a̴̞̅n̴̫̑,̵̘͗ ̶̞͊w̶̭͊h̸͙̒y̵̱͛ ̵͚̄d̵̢͋ó̷̮ ̶̢͝y̷͔̅o̶̓͜u̷͚̒ ̴̟̚c̷̣̈a̷̲̽r̷̢͂ẹ̸͝?̸̗̽"̶̧̊

This doodle might be related to the Begotten!AU Book 2.

I'm not going to explain this, because massive spoilers. Except that the twins and their family and everyone else... are gonna have a tough time with [REDACTED].

(Still working on it.)

Just an echo to that art four-parter of the Beasts' Horrors (Roman, Remus, Janus, and Virgil; Logan and Patton aren't the same category of being).

[sanderssidesaddamsfamily]

A monster post

This is a collaborative story told by three friends, as a patchwork of one shorts and short stories. we update once a week, and have about two months of scheduled content as of making this post, and intend to continue this post schedule if nothing goes awry. here are all the links to the A03 stories. A new tutor.

Roman loves his boys. So much. But they do go through teachers rather fast...

Completed.

A funeral, A date.

Patton escorts Logan to a funeral to comfort. Logan is thrilled Patton agreed to a date. They are confused, your honor.

Completed.

A Library Visit. some interesting activity in the library. Completed.

A raven.

we meet inkblot, the main character, the best bird, and my beloved. Oh also, plot or whatever - Logan asks Patton a question.

Completed.

A new look.

they swap vibes. no plot just fun.

Completed.

A beau ideal.

we see the story of this families OTHER happy couple.

Completed.

A question.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get - wait. No?

Ongoing (3/6)

A Helleborus bouquet

Set during a question. Logan is frustrated and sad... Patton grows flowers.

completed, but may be edited. Cabbage Patch Kids

1/5 in progress.

If you like our works, but wish this story was completely different, set in space and based on doctor who (though friendly to readers who don't know anything about who) that exists, and can be found at @hearts-thru-time-and-space. it is completed, and updates about once a week at the moment - though as life becomes more and more busy this may change.

As time goes on completed works may be edited for grammar.

[tssidesfics]

Mirror, Mirror, Scatter Me (Janus' Requiem)

This idea has been percolating for a while. I watch compilations of Sanders' Sides cosplays and I saw a really awesome video by @salem_orchid on Tiktok. I do not watch Tiktok on that accursed app. You could never pay me enough to go on that cursed app. So have the link directly to the video in the compilation I found it in. https://youtu.be/zfcY0lYix7I?t=42 (Sound from "Echo" English Cover by Jubphonic)

This is set in what is effectively an AU of the A Story of a Soul in All Its Stripes series, where the events of Morality Is Grey happened and basically nothing else because I wrote a hundred thousand words on the gradual degradation of Virgil's relationship with Janus and I cannot not be loyal to that interpretation. What am I gonna do? Write another slow-burn platonic dissolution of affection and trust? I'm busy. It is very angsty.

*

Janus is not woeful. Despite the void in his chest beside a porcupine heart of mirror shards, he does not grieve. He is a mastermind. He is whole despite the parts of him Virgil fled with without remorse. He is defiant and strong and he does not grieve. Grief is weak. He does not grieve.

Never mind how he clutches a hoodie that is not his to his chest and weeps.

Infiltration was slow, calculated, and scorched with wrong turns. Relying on Virgil to leave the door open for them had gone to shit, something Janus should have predicted--a coward cannot be trusted to remain loyal--and it had taken weeks before Janus found a new pathway, stumbled upon by accident. Behind a mask, Janus found himself in the glaring light of knownness, and from that place weaved a new plan: strategic, gradual capitalization, exploitation, and manipulation paving the road, a cobblestone at a time, for the others to claim their place among the bastards that had thrust them into twilight so long ago.

For so long, that had been his one goal. His only objective. Convince Thomas that he could not divide himself by arbitrary lines of right and wrong, reprogram the years of Catholic brainwashing, and build thrones for the others where traitors dwelt.

And in the end, he had succeeded. Now came the aftermath. It should have brought peace, relief.

But there is still a void beside a porcupine heart, mirror shards endlessly reflecting the faces of those around him. Janus' soul is a fun-house of mirrors without the fun, each Side distorting through them, just a piece at a time, copying over and shifting, reflecting over on itself ad infinitum. It had been an advantage for a long time.

Now it was a haunting.

"When are you going to drop the mysterious act?" Roman asked during breakfast one day, lacking tact but not friendliness. A loathsome sentiment to regard Janus with. "You won. We're all fine with you now. Let people actually get to know you."

Janus arched an eyebrow. "And what, pray tell, elicited this?"

Roman shrugged. "Nobody knows you. I mean, obviously Patton, Logan and I aren't running around hiding anything about ourselves. Virgil stopped being brooding and mysterious ages ago and now he's just brooding."

"I am not a YA love interest. All I am is tired of your bullshit."

"Nah, Logan claims that one."

"I am willing to share with Virgil. You are all exhausting."

"Shut up, Pocket Protector."

"It pleases me to notice that while you seem endlessly capable of creating new nicknames for Virgil, I remain so impossible for you to intelligently insult that you reuse the same tired nicknames every conversation we share."

Roman glared at him. "I will misspell every word in your filing system."

"Attempt it and you will cease to be an annoyance entirely."

"Kids..." Patton chided. "Play nice."

Roman and Logan both emphatically rolled their eyes, returning to their breakfasts--Roman, a heaping pile of pancakes marinating in butter and syrup; Logan, eggs and ham.

Janus allowed the conversation to derail without interjection from him, knowing such a thing would only redirect attention back to the original recipient. What Roman asked was simple enough. Janus had no more need to hide. Their place at Thomas' side was assured now.

But to be honest about himself with others required that he know something to be honest with.

Janus is not a stupid Side. He is among the best educated of them, bested only by Logan who he believes has never spent a single moment entertaining self-care or downtime, rather intent on burying himself seventeen feet deep in work. He understands philosophy well. He can argue it for hours and he will win most arguments he initiates on the subject, including with Logan (though Logan maintains an imbecilic distaste for the whole concept). He concocted multiple plans that inevitably paved the way for a more complete Thomas. He was not an idiot.

But that said nothing about his sense of his self, his identity.

He can name things affiliated with him. Deception, self-care, selfishness. A shapeshifter, duplicitous. Untrustworthy, manipulative. He maintains pride for those things (although as time reaches ever-forward certain traits among that list tint a darker and darker grey, some days appearing almost black). But associations, correlations are not definitions.

A lack of definition was easily used to one's advantage. When you lacked a cohesive sense of yourself, it was easy to slip into whatever skin best suited your objective. While not all faces were made equal and not all souls were easily emulated, nonetheless such adaptability, when it had brought them so much, Janus refused to slander.

For years Janus had gone without any name, dubbed only by a color that now drenches him in acid every time someone dares spite him with it. Something Virgil does frequently, having not yet forgiven Janus for the slights he'd imagined committed against him in their time as allies. Janus tires of it and such instances always escalate into impassioned, vitriolic arguments where no weakness is left unexploited. Every foul piece of laundry hung out to poison the air, every bystander horrified to shock.

"You've never been anything but whatever you needed to be to get what you wanted, Janus," Virgil spits. "You can't trust something that can't even decide what the hell it is long enough to give you an honest fucking answer."

Janus stares at him. The shards buried all around his heart reflect Virgil's hateful glare and plunge deeper. Without a word, Janus sinks out.

Within minutes there's a knock at his door. Janus stands in his bathroom, staring into the mirror, straight into it, which he never does. Even glimpsing it sends shards barreling toward him, but now he's standing at its mercy. There's no room left for the shards. Some are falling out to make room, others are making themselves at home past the external wall, deep into the inner valves. His heart tries to pump around them but fails. Janus' eyes burn, unblinking while dams hold back moisture.

"Janus?" Patton calls inside. "I'm...sorry about Virgil." He sounds like he usually does after such arguments: like he feels drawn to take a side but can't decide whose. "What he said was really mean. You said some mean things too, but obviously what he said really hurt you, so...do you want to talk about it?"

Janus opens his mouth to call back to him and his throat snaps closed. No sound escapes. He strains to push out air and fails, gripping his throat.

After a moment of struggling to no avail, Patton takes his silence as an answer. "Okay," he says. "We're here if you need anything. Virgil went back to his room, so the commons are open."

Janus hangs his head and his hands fall limp to grip the sink. He notices then that his hands not only lack their gloves but are decidedly paler than his natural, if faint, tan. Moreover, they are both human, no scales to be seen blemishing either. He frowns and lifts his eyes to the mirror, jolting.

Virgil's purple and brown eyes stare back at him.

Alarmed, Janus gropes his face. When did he shift? Why? It wasn't intentional. It was usually intentional, except for--times when he was emotionally compromised.

Shit. He willed himself back to his typical visage. It had no effect. He tried again. Still no effect. Worse yet, instead he shifted to look like Roman instead. Another attempt brought force Remus' visage, then Logan's and Patton's and back to Virgil and Rage's and endlessly he cycled through until it was happening at dizzying speeds.

Janus couldn't breathe. He had no control. It hurt, shifting so many times, over and over again, body warping, shifting, hunching, lengthening, shortening. He couldn't scream. He wouldn't call for help regardless. He wouldn't debase himself like that. Despite his pain and fear, he would never stoop so low.

Janus sinks to the floor, gripping his hair as it endlessly shifts in length and color. Finally his eyes moisten, weeping never mind the face he wears. He's exhausted, but while he continues to shift he can't sleep. He prays for mercy, knowing it won't come. He doesn't know how he'll help Thomas like this.

He doesn't suppose it matters. Thomas has united the discordant parts of himself. Janus' purpose has been fulfilled. There is no further need for a monster.

Hands grip his wrists. Janus lashes out but is easily restrained, gaze settling on Virgil. Janus stares.

Virgil's face is moist and streaky. He doesn't look hateful for once. He looks...regretful.

"Focus on your name," he tells him. "Just your name. Why you picked it. Focus on that."

Janus doesn't understand, but out of ideas, he obeys. He remembers searching for one, the never-ending frustration until he stumbled across the name for the two-faced god of choices. He is an existentialist, so it was fitting, especially his visage being what it was. As he always guarded the doorway to the forsaken, it couldn't fit much better.

The horrifying switching ends. Janus stares at his gloves, finally back on his hands.

Virgil smiles slightly and releases his wrists, resting back on the tile floor rather than crouching there. He crouches most places so he could certainly afford the strain, but Janus suspects it's his way of relaxing. Of acknowledging trust.

Janus stares.

Virgil stares back.

Janus shakes his head, searching for words. He finds none, not that he imagines they would have come if he had.

Virgil's face tangles in on itself and he averts his gaze. "I'm--" He strains for a moment. "I'm sorry. It--fuck."

Janus continues to stare.

"I know I fucked it up when I left," Virgil admits, forcing himself to look back at Janus although it seems like the eye contact hurts him. "It was a huge disgusting mess and we all said a lot of shitty things, but I'd been scared out of my mind for years. I was having constant panic attacks and it was affecting Thomas. I blamed it on all of you, but I never said shit. I didn't know how. I found out way too late after being here for long enough after a lecture from Logan that it's shitty and abusive to expect people to guess your boundaries when you won't fucking tell them what they are, but--fuck, I was hurt, and I don't deal with that well. It was a lot easier to hate you and use everything I'd ever loved about you against you and the others, especially you because you were the one who trained me to lie and I fucking hated doing that. I fucked it up. I fucked it up really badly and I should have just fucking owned up to it but I am very, very good at digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like that, it was shitty. I'm sorry."

Without words, Janus can't answer.

Virgil takes that as his answer and sinks out.

*

The next day, Virgil finds a piece of paper on his desk in his room.

Mirror, mirror, scatter me. Take my shards and bury me. I'm the apparition of nightmares realized, the incarnation of your shame. I haunt myself with all my failures. All I know is my own name.

Shards of you are buried deep, a jagged shield that shreds my soul. All I've left are memories and shames of what I can't control.

I spurned you and turned my gaze when you would die for mercy shown. I chased you off with defiant pride and in that pride I lie alone.

The fault lies not with you, dear Brutus, but with the man power claimed all. I plead with you, forgive me, brother, as I am left alone to fall.

Virgil comes to sit with him in silence, and eventually, Janus reenters the world. He still does not quite know himself, but we are reflections of each other; only in being known can we define our souls.

Forgiveness is a fountain. Have your drink.

[jungle321jungle]

Snippets of 10“New” Fics #2

Yes I am alive. And I have so many fics just sitting in my google docs. Some barley started others already chapters long, but none of them are finished. But even so I enjoy some key moments of all of them so once again I gonna share them here! So in no particular order (but some of my favs are at the end) enjoy!

Read Snippets #1, Read on Ao3.

1. Janus is the illegitimate prince of a now fallen kingdom, and to stay alive he’ll need to sell his soul to the empire’s duke, Logan and the emperor as well.

“But Janus, answer a question for me. What do you intend to do once our traitor is caught?”

Janus ensured the confusion he felt didn’t show in his expression, “Pardon?”

“You're here- alive because you can help us with a rat problem. What do you intend to do once you have exterminated it?”

“I like to think I have many uses and thus reasons to be kept alive.”

“And are those reasons greater than retribution?”

“Virgil,” The Duke cut in. 

“What?” He asked innocently as he drank more wine. “Since when is it such a bad thing to question my convicts? I simply wish to know if he thinks that he’ll ever truly be able to wash away what he’s done.”

“He doesn't nee-”

“No,” Janus cut in. “And I never said that I was capable of that or that I even wanted to wash everything away. I said that I wanted to live. And all that involves is others looking the other way, not repentance nor forgiveness.”

The young man’s eyes narrowed, “You don’t feel bad for what you’ve done?”

“I do. But given how small my worldview was in comparison to what I thought it was? Without knowing what I do now, I’d make the same choices.”

“...And what is it that you know now? That we aren’t the savages you thought?”

“I never thought that, I simply wasn’t aware that there was a world without my father in it.” Both of them were staring at him, watching him, and Janus found himself oddly disturbed by their gazes but he forced himself to look the Emperor in the eye. “I was raised to live and breathe for his whims. That devoting myself to them entirely was the only way to survive. Now- now my leash is held by another, so I’ll do as I’m told by him in order to keep my head. So when your traitor is caught, I could very well be handed off to yet another. And if I am, I'll do what I can there to survive as well. Survival is all that matters. My feelings- my remorse has no say in it, because feelings can be manipulated. I focus on my actions.” 

The Emperor said nothing as he downed his remaining wine before he stood. “Clean up after your pets, Logan.”

~~~~

2. Janus and Logan are rivals in everything they do, including liking Virgil. 

Here, Janus and Virgil are texting about a date Janus interrupted between Virgil and Logan. 

That was so mean! 

Why would you say that when I was on a date!

It’s fine Logan’s not that easily bothered 

And it’s not first time I’ve called him boring to his face 

Usually I choose something more creative tho

Wait

Waif wait wait

Do you think he heard that?

Yeah 

He’s got real good hearing no way he wouldn’t have

Noooooooooooooo

Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll still call you after all that 

I’d prefer if he didn’t but that’s just me

Janus

Virgil

*sigh*

Why just why are you so confusing

It’s a specialty 

But I gotta ask

What exactly are you two?

That was our second date 

So nothing serious then?

I want to see him again though 

Any chance there’s space for me to try and steal your attention then?

I just said I wanted to see him again???????????

But you’re not exclusive right?

No

Then what’s the harm?

The fact that I feel like you’re just asking me out right now because it would annoy Logan?

I can have multiple reasons 

I told you back then that I’d be willing to try things again if you wanted 

It’s nearly been a year

I thought you wouldn’t care anymore 

Well you’d be incorrect 

It’s quite hard to forget asking someone to be my boyfriend and being turned down

I’m still sorry about that 

I really like you 

But family stuff had me in a weird place 

Hey I get it no worries

More importantly 

Like or liked?

Huh?

Your past message

Shit

Liked*

Seems like Freudian slip to me

~~~~

3. Janus didn’t know he had an ability aka powers. Whoops. 

Unrelated note: he and Logan are twins in this verse

A heavy sigh was the first thing out of the detective’s mouth as the man sat across from him. He looked past Janus as the cop who was standing by the wall, before he finally looked Janus in the eye with a tired expression. “You are aware that using your abilities to influence gambling is illegal in this city, correct?”

“Yes bu-”

“If you know that, why try and ruin everyone’s day?”

Janus gave his best placating smile, “See I know it’s illegal, but I didn’t think it mattered for me since-”

“Because you’re better than everyone else?”

“What? No! Because I don’t have an ability!”

“Yes, that’s why officers said you kept repeating on the drive over here.”

“Because it’s true. I-”

“Those handcuffs you're wearing, what color is the light on them?”

Janus raised an eyebrow in confusion before he looked at the large bulky, heavy, metal bracelets on his wrists. Within all the metal were three thin lines glowing. “It’s red.”

“Right. That’s the color it glows when a person has an ability. If I put them on, they would be green because I don’t.”

“But I don’t-”

“Yes, yes. You don’t have an ability.”

“Aren’t there people who can tell if someone is lying or not? Because if you got one of them here, they can tell you that I really have no clue what’s going on. I just went out for some drinks and a good time.”

“And why should I waste my time with that?”

Janus sat back in his seat before he frowned, regardless of whether or not he did or didn’t have supernatural powers, there was still a power he did have. Two in fact. “Tell me detective,” he started slowly. “What’s the punishment for such a thing? A fine? Community service at most? Or who cares even if it’s a year of jail time. It ultimately doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean?”

“As you know, my last name is Ackroyd. Feel free to Google as you please, and then you can understand the amount of assets under our company- ah that our family has access to. I say it doesn’t matter because with the resources I have it will only take a single call to have everything resolved before the sun rises. And the media across the country will tell my version of the truth. You needn’t believe my story, but instead I’d like you to wonder what would happen to the jobs of every person here if your name- no, even just this police station was mentioned in a single article.” Janus gave him a slight smile as he shifted his heavy feeling arms so he could put his arms on the table, allowing the metal of the handcuffs to clang with the metal of the table. The sound wasn’t loud, and yet it echoed for a moment and another as the detective’s neutral expression grew more and more worried. But to his credit, he attempted to stand his ground. 

“Interrogations are recorded. You’re admitting all of this-”

“Things happen to videos all the time. One corrupt file can do a hell of a lot. But one person desperate enough can do even more. A bit of prodding and they can do a whole lot without any blood on my hands. Who knows what a single person can access? It could even be someone else's personal things. What if there’s two desperate people? Or three? Or ten? What if it’s this whole precinct? But of course these are all ‘what ifs.’ Who knows what will really happen? I’m far more merciful than mother, and you’re just hearing my ideas after all. I can’t even fathom how they'd make everything disappear. But we can certainly find out together… Unless of course, there happens to be a living lie detector in the building?”

The detective didn’t need to respond, because it was then the woman who had been standing behind Janus made herself known as she walked to the door, “I’ll fetch him.” 

~~~~

4. Emperor Logan decides he wants a harem to do work for him. Not do usual harem stuff. 

The wedding ceremony and coronation had been beautiful, he had looked good, the guests had behaved throughout the day, the gifts were beautiful, the Emperor had spoken to him for more than a few minutes- they had even danced together, all in all it was a pretty good wedding day. And when it came to a close Janus was more than ready to sleep for a year, but instead he found himself being shoved into a bath, covered in fancy lotions and oils(?), and sitting in only a robe on his bed. 

If Janus hadn’t been looking forward to his wedding then he wasn’t sure what he felt about his wedding night. But here he sat a glass of wine in hand, as he waited. Time didn't really seem to pass, or perhaps it was simply mocking his anticipation. But finally, his husband entered. 

“You're still awake,” he commented. 

Janus gave a slight nod, as he took in the fact that his husband was wearing pajamas which didn’t quite seem fair. “I am.”

The Emperor crossed the room slowly and sat beside Janus on the bed, “I wished to speak with you.”

“Al-alright.”

“I’m not forming a harem for pleasure,” he said bluntly, already managing to floor Janus. “Rather I intend to create a harem to work. I brought you here first because I want you to eventually manage the others and ensure they perform their duties. Essentially my cabinet is corrupt and the easiest way to replace them is to marry others and give them the cabinet’s jobs.”

“You married me… to give me a job?”

“Yes. And you can consider planning the wedding in such constraints as your job interview. As to which you did swimmingly. So eventually enough I’ll ask for your help in choosing others to fill this palace.”

Janus set his wine aside and pulled the robe tighter around himself as the words settled upon him, “Your Majesty? May I speak frankly?”

“Please. And more so, please call me by my name.”

“Then Logan,” Janus started trying and utterly failing to hide his angry tone. “Is that the only reason you married me?”

“Yes. I coveted your skills in wrangling the nobility.”

“And that’s the only reason? Not pleasure of any sort?”

“Well I believe you have other skills that could help improve The Empire, but no I have no interest in the traditional ah- benefits of having a harem.”

Janus gave a slight laugh of disbelief as he stood up and crossed the room to put a good amount of distance between them, “Then if you don’t mind Logan, could you get the hell out so I can put my clothes back on!?”

There was a long pause before the Emperor’s face flushed as if it just processed in his mind that Janus was indeed naked aside from his robe. He gave an awkward cough as he tried to replace his stoic facade. “Ah- oh. Right, I suppose it is our wedding night.” He gave an awkward cough as he quickly strode to the door. “Then please dress yourself. I simply wished to speak with you as soon as possible, we can speak at a later date. Apologies.”

A sigh of relief escaped Janus when he was alone, and then he was quick to gather his clothes and dress. Part of him expected the Emperor to come back to tell him it had all been some strange prank, or to simply talk more business, but it seemed he would leave Janus alone for the night. And for that, Janus was thankful. He got a much more restful sleep than he had been anticipating. 

~~~~

5. Cop Logan is mourning his fiance after a case doesn’t end well.

It had started as a missing persons case, where a college kid known for vanishing for a few days at a time, had vanished for longer than usual. In the end it had been easy to find him, but the kid had been paranoid saying that someone was out to get him for seeing or knowing something he wasn’t supposed to. The rambling hadn’t even sounded like real words at the time, rather it was appearing like their “victim” was just heavily under the influence- until the shot rang out. 

That kid had been the first, but he was sadly not the last. Bodies were dropping left and right as it suddenly became more and more clear that they had stumbled into something much larger and more dangerous than they had ever imagined. It took months- nearly a year of waiting for the “mastermind” to get too comfortable and slip up. But when that moment came, nearly every cop in the city was present for the deputy mayor’s arrest. At the time it had felt triumphant, that they had finally finally stopped all of this. And yet Logan quickly learned that just because the deputy mayor traded an office for a cell, didn’t mean that power left his grasp. 

It had been difficult to investigate the man who was so careful that nothing at all was tied back to him. There was only one piece of true evidence tying him to anything- and then mountains of circumstantial evidence from there. Even so Logan and so so many others had thought the trial would be a breeze. Because despite all of the doubt that had been derived from “inferring crimes” (as the lawyer had liked to put it), a hitman who kept receipts in the form of recordings seemed pretty damn concrete. And yet… somehow Remy was currently walking about as a free man. 

What had he missed?

“Is it all really that hard to understand?” It seemed silence wasn’t an appropriate answer because he continued. “Oh come on Lo, you’re good at what you do. You didn’t miss anything evidence wise. You missed things people wise.”

Logan took a deep breath as he set down the document and looked Janus in the eye, earning a smile from the other man. 

“Sometimes you think things are too black and white,” Janus supplied his eyes looking over the spread of pages on the floor. “You're thinking that you have so much clear evidence that it’s impossible for a jury to deny it. Except juries are human, and humans have greed.”

“You’re... you’re saying that he bought the jury?”

“I’m saying the man would do anything to avoid prison. And well, nepotism and cronyism go hand in hand with rich assholes.”

“You make it sound like your-”

“I am self aware, thank you very much… I also don’t have any slush funds nor murders under my belt.”

“Not even one?”

Janus gave a shrug as he carefully tiptoed around the mess to make it to the couch where he made himself comfy. “You would know if I did.”

Logan rolled his eyes as he looked back to work spread before him, “Buying the jury…”

“Before you start down that rabbit hole I think there’s something more pressing? Or well, a few more somethings.”

“Like?”

“Well for starters the case is officially closed, and then you're also sidelined for two weeks. Even if you make some calls you’ll be shoved away.”

“Then I’ll look into it myself. And when I get back, I can check in with some contacts in between other cases.”

“Alright, but you're still forgetting one more thing.”

“Which is?”

“Me?”

“You?” Logan hummed less interested as he looked up at the news story playing.

“You made promises,” Janus interrupted, standing in front of the screen. “You promised me, my family, and yourself. You’re supposed to go visit us.”

“I made that promise when I thought we’d win.”

“Won’t they need you more now?”

“I-”

“You need them now.”

“No, I don't Janus. I need to figure this out. So move out of the way.”

“You don’t? Then look at me.”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “I am.”

“No you’re not,” Janus said, walking forward onto the papers and crouching down to ensure he took up all of Logan’s field of vision. “Look at me Logan.”

“I-”

“And when you really look? What do you see?”

Logan took a deep shuddering breath as he closed his eyes pretending the tears weren’t gathering there, “Let me have this,” he begged quietly. “I’ll go- but for tonight just let me…”

Janus’ gave a chuckle, “Alright, but I’m holding you to that.”

“You always do… you always do.”

~~~~

6. Janus takes in his much younger brother Virgil.

Virgil had always been a quiet and shy kid, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. To the point that when their family went to functions the kid usually glued himself to one of their parents’ legs and would seem to do his best impression of an invisible person. In addition to that, Janus had never been particularly close with Virgil given the age gap, and hell he barely saw him. So perhaps all of that is what made seeing how his little brother acted here and now so jarring. 

The boy Janus knew to always pause and take in a new space before acting was sprinting the moment he entered the room. He didn’t care about anyone of the many people watching, he just ran to Janus who was quick to drop down and pull Virgil into what was surely the tightest hug of his life. And yet with a swallow he forced himself to pull back from the hug to look over the seven year old. Virgil had no visible injuries, like he had been told, but it wasn’t until he saw him here and now that Janus felt a mountain of tension release from him as he pulled Virgil close once more. “You okay?”

Virgil didn’t say a word, but the arms around his neck tightened slightly and that told Janus more than enough. 

A moment passed and then another, before the woman from before entered Janus’ field of vision. “There’s just one or two more things I need your signature for and then you’re free to go.”

Janus gave a nod as he released Virgil and stood, but the kid still managed to stay as close to Janus as physically possible. The woman held out a clipboard and pen and after scanning the pages presented to him, Janus filled in what was needed and handed it back. “That’s it?”

“That’s it. Drive safe, and bye Virgil.”

“Bye Ms. Park,” Virgil replied quietly. 

And with that Janus took his brother’s hand and walked out thankful that all of this mess was over- for now at least. 

“I want to go home,” Virgil told him as they exited the room. 

“Me too,”Janus sighed. “But instead of going home home, you’re going to be staying at my house.”

Virgil’s big eyes met his- and there were tears in them- shit what had he done wrong? Before he could process something to say, Virgil’s gaze fell to the floor, “Is it because I burned the kitchen? Do Mommy and Daddy not-”

“What? No, no. Mom and Dad are um...” Shit what was he supposed to say? ‘Oh well our parents are shit people so the government said you can't see them?’ That wouldn't go over great...

“They’re what?” 

“They’re... they’re traveling! You know them, never home. Anyway, we all decided you can stay with me instead of with a nanny. And, I’ve already started putting together a room for you. But you can pick out the rest to really make it your own, okay?”

Virgil nodded, but Janus wasn’t sure the kid was convinced. This was gonna be even harder than he thought.

~~~~

7. Teen Janus gets caught in a fire

Janus didn’t remember falling asleep, but he did remember waking once more to find an empty room, falling asleep again, and then waking at the sound of familiar arguing. His parents were here. Here and arguing with one another in their hushed tones which weren’t as quiet as they thought. But beside them, Mr. Logan seemed to be trying to keep the peace, but at least they were here- at least they had come.

“Is that what you’re really worrying about right now?” Dad huffed. 

Mom didn’t even look away from her phone to reply. “We don’t exactly have a house anymore. I think that’s more than acceptable to worry about.”

“You know that’s not what I meant!”

“Well what do you want me to say? I didn’t know he was calling over an emergency! More than that he should’ve called 911!”

“He’s-”

Right, he hadn’t done that had he? Why hadn’t he? Calling 911 was the logical thing to do, and yet in his panic and chaos his family was all that came to mind. Who had called then? Virgil? He had been crazy enough to run into the burning place- so he probably called after Janus had passed out… He truly owed Virgil everything in the world now didn’t he? 

Lost within his own thoughts, Janus hadn’t noticed the conversation continue around him until a hand settled on his arm. “How are you feeling?” Dad asked him. 

“Tired,” was the only real response he could give. His body felt heavy and sore sure, but really it felt like even breathing was sapping energy away from him. 

“Understandable,” Mom added, moving to stand next to Dad- and as she did Janus noticed as Mr. Logan made himself scarce. “Do you remember what happened?”

“I was- I was going to do laundry, and when I opened the bathroom door… It just burst out and-” Janus cut himself off as the pain began to grasp his throat once more, and he took a deep breath, hoping it would help, but it didn’t rather it lead to a fit of coughing which sent the pain spidering out across his chest. 

“You inhaled a lot of smoke,” Mom said unhelpfully, he had kind of figured that part out. “Take your time.”

When he was able, Janus took a few more deep breaths before he spoke. “After I opened the door the fire just burst out and I fell and then there was just fire everywhere. I…” What had happened after that? He knew that somewhere within the chronology of events the gas stove that he had running had only made things worse, and elsewhere in that he had called his parents over and over, and there was something he was missing- he had done something. But in the blur of his memories he couldn’t recall. He had run into Patton’s room for a moment- but he couldn’t recall what he had been trying to retrieve from it. Maybe Patton's room had been first? Or was the call? The kitchen was probably last since he had been on the floor in the living room when Virgil came. He wasn’t really sure, but nonetheless he told them the events that had occurred before Virgil found him, even if he didn’t know the order. With the story as finished as it could be, his parents seemed to have two main takeaways. First, that he should’ve noticed the bathroom door was hot (and apparently the fact that since he had been carrying a laundry basket and had thus used it to press down on the door handle, wasn’t an excuse). And  secondly, that instead of going to Patton’s room there were a million other things he should’ve done. And with that Janus couldn’t help but agree- especially because he couldn’t even properly recall what he had been doing. All he really knew about his actions was that a fire in the bathroom had kind of sent all logic as far away as the sun. 

When the criticisms laced with worry had subsided for a moment Janus used the opportunity to get the attention off of himself for just a few moments. “Do you have water?” He asked mom first. She looked about the room before vanishing, promising to get some, and when she had Janus asked his father, “How’d Patton’s appointment go?”

“It was fine,” the man sighed, sitting down. “I was expecting more, but it seems like this was just another preliminary thing. I feel like that’s just an excuse they toss at us at this point. But there’s a chance-” As the conversation became one sided, Janus didn’t even attempt to listen closely. But as soon as Mom returned with water, she joined in and as expected the conversation carried on without him as if he wasn’t even there. So he simply drank his water and let their complaints and bickering once again serve him as a lullaby. 

~~~~

8. They’re all detective adjacent solving crimes and the like. Eventually it will devolve into a weekly cop show kinda vibe and dynamic. 

“Cheers!” The word was echoed about the bar, as everyone began to revel in earnest- it seemed the fact that it was a school night meant nothing to them. But then again he couldn’t blame them. They had significant evidence against a Vyren, such things were near impossible in a city where so many had been paid off by the infamous family. Cheers and toasts had begun the moment they precinct had taken over the bar (and effectively drove other patrons away), and they didn’t seem like they would stop anytime soon. 

“Are you feeling alright?”

Logan stopped in his scanning of the room as he noticed Virgil sliding into the booth seat across from him. “Perfectly fine, why?”

Virgil didn’t respond verbally (as he was busy downing a beer) but he did gesture to Logan’s general form and the drink Logan held. 

“Are… are you suggesting that I’m not well because I am here?”

A nod was the response. 

“I don’t mind a celebration or socializing now and then.” 

Virgil gave an amused hum as he set down his drink, “Did you hear who it was that was the key to all of this?”

“Roman said it was someone undercover.”

“It was your unofficial rival, Sanders. That’s why I assumed you wouldn’t be coming.” 

Logan’s lips twitched into a frown, before he hid it with a sip from his glass. “We have nothing against each other. We were in the academy together. And now we are based out of the same precinct. That’s it.” It was more or less true, but perhaps it was more true to say that Thomas had nothing against him. Logan meanwhile couldn't help but be a tad jealous of the man who had gotten promoted to detective first- especially in the unit that Logan had initially wanted, but it wasn’t as if he hated the man. He was too nice to even dislike. Which only annoyed Logan more. Regardless of the truth, based on what was conveyed Virgil didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push the topic. 

“Well it’s good to see you outside of the office.”

“I leave my office to visit your lab.”

“Okay… uh good to see you in a non work capacity. Better?”

Logan nodded “I can be a homebody, but given significant reason I am more than willing to be social.”

“Now I’m wondering what counts as ‘significant’,” Virgil said with an eye roll but there was that perfect smile of his playing on his lips. 

“Well-”

“Virgil!” A sharp yet familiar voice called cutting in. And Logan couldn’t help but grimace as Roman appeared. He truly had the worst of timing. 

“How is my favorite gremlin?” Roman asked, pushing Logan aside as he scooted into the booth. 

Virgil paused for a half moment as if he was weighing the benefits of addressing Roman at all, but ultimately he spoke with a sigh. “Hello Roman. Drunk already?”

“I’m not drunk! At least not yet. This is still my first drink.”

Logan sighed, taking in Roman’s demeanor. He seemed slightly unsteady, he had a stupider smile than usual, and his voice was a slightly different pitch. “We haven’t even been here that long, how many shots did you have?”

“It’s rude to ask a man such questions.”

Virgil gave a sigh as he climbed out, “I’ll get you some water.”

“Lo! Did you see that!? He does care!”

“Very happy for you,” Logan replied dryly as Virgil walked away. “Did you need to come over here?”

Roman gave him a mischievous smile as he whispered, “I just want to witness a love story with my own eyes.”

“I… You- You’re insufferable.”

“You love me.”

“You simply wish it was so.”

“You're so cruel to me.”

“You deserve it.”

~~~~

9. Janus remembers his past lives, and his dad (Logan) is very sketchy. 

A loud and resounding bang jolted Janus awake. He sat straight up in bed, heart pounding, every one of nerves firing at once as he faced the darkness of his room. He took a few deep breaths, trying to de- 

BANG. 

The sound of a gunshot was a sound Janus knew well. Far too well. His breath hitched and his throat seemed to try and close itself as he forced himself to be silent as he fought the tears burning in his eyes. As he fought the fear of the past by digging his nails into his arms forcibly grounding himself to the present. The pain of it allowing him to bring his mind into slight focus. He forced himself to take the smallest and quietest of breaths as he tried to convince his body to not lock itself in place as he heard the sound of a heavy thump followed by multiple pairs of boots coming up the servants’ stairs. He could barely hear them over the sound of his deafening heartbeat, but he could tell they were growing closer, and closer, and closer. 

Adrenaline hit him all at once as Janus scrambled up from the bed and threw himself under the bed with as little sound as he could muster. His hands were pressed firmly around his mouth as he tried to muffle the sound of his own breath as the footsteps grew closer with whispering voices to accompany them. Before they came to a stop outside his bedroom. 

This is different. This is different. This is different. 

He told himself this over and over and over as he tried to suppress his past self and the fears that came with it. He didn’t have his memories back at that time. He did now. He knew how to fight, and how to talk his way out of just about anything. This would be different from his tenth. It would. He wasn’t the same scared kid anymore. That kid was gone. He was Janus. Janus. Janus Ackroyd. Rich, smooth, and confident. 

And yet his body still trembled as he hid under the bed and the bedroom door swung open. A dim light from the hallway was able to illuminate two pairs of legs which walked in the room, but the one in front stopped halfway to the bed. 

The pause felt like an eternity in which Janus had no choice but to allow himself a breath. He closed his eyes tight as tears began to flow freely, but he tried to control himself. He was different. He was different. He was-

“Janus?”

The soft call of Dad’s voice was too sudden to be real. And yet Janus slowly opened his eyes to realize the room lights had been turned on. Even so he didn’t dare to move. The pair of legs closest to him bent slightly and a hand sporting a familiar watch touched the floor followed by the slow appearance of the rest of Dad’s body as he flattened himself to the floor and their eyes met. 

“It’s okay,” he promised softly. “You can come out of there.”

Janus took a deep breath as he body shook, he wanted to move but it was as if all of his muscles had been permanently locked in this position. Unbothered, Dad scooted closer, not caring as his expensive clothes rubbed all over the floor. He moved so he was just within Janus’ reach but he didn’t try to touch him. Instead he just gave a slight smile, “You used to always hide under there during a loud storm... I didn’t know you could still fit underneath.”

Janus wasn’t sure how long the two of them laid there for, but it wasn’t until he wrested back control from the past that he inched his way out from under the bed. Dad said nothing more, he simply sat up and pulled Janus into a hug which was quickly and tightly returned. 

“Why don’t you lay back down?” Dad suggested after a moment, and at Janus’ nod he found himself lifted to the bed and Dad sat down beside him. 

Janus wanted to say something, to do something- but it was all he could manage to hold his father’s hand and try to control his own breathing. But he did manage a peek past Dad to see Roman lingering by the doorway, but there was-

“You can go get things finished,” Dad told Roman without turning around. “I’ll stay here for now.”

“Night Boss! Mini Boss!” Roman called as he left the room leaving Janus and his Dad alone. 

“I think tomorrow should be a sick day from school,” Dad said quietly as he took to running his fingers through Janus’ hair. “What do you think? I finished what I was doing, so you and I can relax tomorrow?”

Janus could only give a nod in reply. 

“Then it's a plan. But for now, let’s rest hm?” It sounded far easier said than done, but Janus didn’t complain as he closed his eyes. A moment passed before he felt the bed shift as Dad laid down beside him. It was stupid. He was far far far far older than the man holding him as he tried to sleep- and yet he was grateful that his father hadn’t left his side even to turn off the light. 

“Remus.”

The man glanced up from his cleaning with a smile, “Is Mini Boss asleep?”

“Finally, yes,” Logan nodded. “But more importantly than that, I thought I made it clear that you weren’t to show yourself in front of Janus with blood on your clothes.”

Remus glanced down at himself as if he hadn’t noticed its presence. “I hadn’t thought to check, thought the kid was sleep.”

“Of course he wasn’t. Guns like that aren’t quiet.”

“I didn’t know, these babies are new!” He gave a smile as he continued to clean the barrels. “And they pack a punch don't they?”

Logan forced himself to take a deep breath, he wouldn’t get anywhere talking to Remus. “I want everything spotless. And I need Roman back in the afternoon. Make sure you both sleep somewhere in there.”

Remus waved him off, “Don’t worry about me, go back to Mini Boss before he wakes up again.”

Logan gave a nod as he left and headed towards his room to change into something more comfortable, then afterwards he’d head back to Janus’ room to sleep. He still didn’t know what kind of explanation he could give to his son. He had intended to keep all sides of his work and family separate. But given the way things were moving, that may be easier said than done. Janus was a mature kid, he acted older than Logan most of the time, but… he was still a kid when it came down to it. And the last thing Logan wanted to do was drag his son into the middle of this fight. 

~~~~~

10. Janus has been raised by Virgil- only to find out that Virgil isn’t actually his Dad, Logan is, and a lot of things have been a lie in order to protect him. 

But Janus just really loves his Dad.

“I knew trusting you was a good thing.”

“I didn’t.”

“Ah yes, there’s that patented negativity I’ve missed.”

“You think it was easy? Not even considering the fact we were in The Kingdom, stubbornness is clearly a family trait.”

“Such insolence,” The Emperor replied in a lighthearted tone. “I was about to tell you that I missed you. I now will rescind such a thought. Instead I order you to help Janus get settled and then you are to come have a drink with me.”

Dad responded with a smile, “I missed you too, Your Majesty.”

The man nodded and began to lead the way into the grand entryway of the palace. Inside everything was gilded and shimmered, even the impressive looking floor looked clean enough that he could see himself reflected with ease. The plants and paintings decorated the space in a beautiful manner, even screamed extreme wealth, and yet the most impressive thing in the room still managed to be the Emperor. His long, scaly, blue tail swishing behind him as he went in a way which Janus assumed meant he was happy- did that work for dragons? Or was that just dogs? Or well, the Emperor wasn’t a full dragon, he had dragon blood though. How much dragon was even in dragon blooded? Janus had no way of knowing, and not wanting to ask at this moment he simply followed after, wondering if the cheap mended clothes he wore were somehow mocking the space around him. 

“I’ll admit it’s a bit strange to hear you call me that, Virgil.”

“Well, you're the emperor now,” Dad said, walking a pace or two behind Janus instead by his side. The man caught Janus’ confused gaze but said nothing on it nor did he move. It was then when he noticed that the servants who walked with them were walking behind his father. Did birthright and even dictate walking? 

“That’s true,” the Emperor started. “But, ever since I could remember you were always there somewhere shouting ‘Your Highness’ and following me about.”

“Well you did have a habit of disappearing.”

“You’ve known each other that long?” Janus interrupted. 

“Our entire lives,” The Emperor hummed. “Virgil’s mother worked as a doctor and alchemist, and his father was the personal knight of my mother.”

“We ended up spending a lot of time together,” Dad added. “So, I became His Majesty’s servant. Then eventually I became his knight… and then I became your protector.”

“Protector,” Janus echoed softly. It didn’t seem like an appropriate title. Sure he had kept Janus alive, but he had also done so so much more than that. His “protector” had taught Janus everything he knew, be it how to read or how to make potions. His “protector” had held him when he was upset or scared and laughed with him when he was happy. His “protector” had been the one to scold him when he had done wrong, and praise him when he had done well. More than that, that word implied that what was done was no more than a job. An obligation. A duty. A knight protected their masters because it was their job and they’d be scorned if not. A mere protector wouldn’t shed tears over the fact that he wouldn’t be allowed to tell Janus ‘I love you’ anymore. If Virgil’s role in his life was nothing more than a “protector” then Janus was sure the dictionary needed to update their definition of the term. But even then, the only way to explain it succinctly would be to write: ‘Protector: a parent’. 

But regardless of what the term meant to him, or what he wanted it to mean. Ultimately… a protector's job would eventually end. Wouldn’t it? 

~~~~

And that’s ten! I hoped you like! Let me know if there’s a particular one you want to see more of even its just more snippets as opposed to a chapter I haven’t finished yet. 

[sanderssides-angst]

What a great and comprehensive analysis of a bad relationship between good people. I really enjoyed this. I related to Remus a lot and it’s an interesting fic

Preventable Yet Inevitable

Summary: Remus knew from the start that Roman and Janus dating was not a good idea.  But neither of them seem to want to listen to him.

Keep reading

[theelmoarchive]

Sanders Sides theory (rant). I know im mainly a mh acc here but I have thoughts i need to get out there

(just fyi this theory is Roman centric, I know most TSS people nowadays are talking ab Orange and Logan so if Roman's not interesting then continue on 🔥🔥)

(Also slight TW, talking ab the sides "ducking out" and depression themes, so yeah👍👍)

Okay so. I was scrolling through Sanders Sides theories and found that no one seems to have this theory, even though I thought the Roman angst enjoyers like me would be writing this all over the place but. Ig that means I need to talk about it.

I've had this theory for years now, since the day I first watched SVS Redux.

I think Roman is going to duck out.

I dont know if I have to explain why but. I mean, just looking at the explosive end SVS Redux had will tell you a lot.

He doesn't belive Patton when he tells him they love him. He thinks Thomas has lost all faith in him in favor of the person Roman views as the epitome of evil. He's been switching views left and right to stay on Patton's side (because Thomas prides himself on his morals), but he always ends up doing something wrong - he always ends up as an antagonist. He no longer believes that he is the one thing that being has kept him stable since "Am I Original?" - Thomas' hero. The only side he has a stable and positive relationship with is VIRGIL of all people. And tbh that could quickly be ruined too. Logan is second, though, but that's EXTREMELY fragile, as we've seen.

Roman always does something wrong and it will and has sent him over the edge. From Roman's perspective, with a very flawed view of everyone around him, he is inherently the thing that flaws Thomas.

+ Roman is really dramatic obviously, so ofc he would do this.

When you look at Virgil's reasonings for ducking out, it seems plausible after everything Roman has gone through recently, too. I mean like:

"I quit. Decided it wasn't worth it anymore"

Why would Roman keep fighting a battle he knows he will never win?

"Well, It didn’t seemed like I was wanted. You all made that pretty clear any time I showed up."

Again, from Roman's perspective, he is constantly and consistently antagonized.

"If I wanted to stand around being insulted, I would've shown up I would've shown up in person like I usually do."

[same thing]

"I actually think you were right to not want me around."

Roman fears that he is becoming the villain (as we see in SVS, SVS Redux and DWIT).

(In fact, Roman has already said something quite similar to that last one in sentiment.

In SVS Redux, Roman says this, which is pretty funny because of the dramatics and the stupidity, and does get shot down quickly, but I am begging you to listen to him.

"The blame falls to me. If you're missing that do-gooder drive... I think It's because I'm in the driver seat... And I'm an awful driver... Perhaps... Perhaps I should let Patton take the wheel.")

(2nd sidenote to the Virgil quotes, can we talk ab Thomas' acting again I just love how tired Virgil is in AA. He's so. Troubled. I love him.)

WAIT ALSO I FORGOT TO ADD THIS UNTIL I WAS AB TO POST IT-

"I've always aimed to protect you,"

THIS!! First of all his face makes me so sad BUT SECOND OF ALL yeah. Roman core idk what else to say, you get it right.

"I thought I was your hero."

So yeah.

Anyway, I think the episode where Roman does this will be centered around depression. Without Roman, Thomas is depressed. Let me explain this further.

Roman is Thomas' creativity, imagination, ego, passion, love, wills and wants, hopes and dreams, aspirations and enthusiasm.

Without any of that, what is left? A guy who can't even will himself out of bed, but can still feel the nagging voice of reason and logic telling him how unreasonable he's being. A guy who cant will himself to talk to friends, family and loved ones, but can still feel sorrow for letting them down and worrying them. A guy who can't will himself to pursue creative content that he relies on for a living but can still feel anxious about letting millions of people down and never being able to create again. A guy who cant even make food for himself or brush his teeth, but still knows he NEEDS to take care of himself. A guy whose only creativity is activly trying to disturb and scare him.

So yeah thats really awesome idk.

Furthermore, I think the sides might be SEVERELY impacted.

It has been said many times over the series that the sides are purely figments of Thomas' IMAGINATION. so. Without Roman, I doubt anything would be left. Obviously, if Roman does duck out, I don’t think they'd all immediately just cease to exist because an episode still needs to occur, but I find it likely that they'd all start slowly fading or maybe even "malfunctioning", glitching, putting them on a timer to get back Roman and making it far more tense.

Is this theory weird?????? I feel like it's the natural progression TO ME but I've seen no one even getting near this and im just confused ghfhfhfh. Maybe it is kind of weird and im just too much of a Roman enthusiast. SORRY I LOVE ANNOYING WEIRDO FREAKS!!!! AND IF I WAS HIM ID DUCK OUT TOO BECAUSE NO ONE IS APPRECIATING HIM ☹️☹️☹️ EVEN THOUGH HE'S LITERALLY WHAT MAKES THOMAS DO THINGS. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anyway.

I also think it fits really well because of Prinxiety's parallels, such as:

(using the ship name just as a duo name because that's what I usually do I am not trying to push the prinxiety agenda although I am a fan of it ghfyfgfh)

"Thanks everyone... Well, almost everyone."

And

"I mean, it's cool to see you all trying to be helpful. Well most if you, but-"

The only difference in these two is obviously that Virgil just silently ducks out, while Roman has the entire "You make us better" speech, probably effectivly saving Virgil and Thomas, because it seems like Virgil was going to insist.

(Also another sidenote that I think everyone will agree with: WE NEED A "YOU MAKE US BETTER" SPEECH BY VIRGIL FOR ROMAN that is all)

Also. Who can forget.

Virgil saying that he tried to "duck out" and then

"That's a thing you can do?"

😐

Do you understand what I'm saying. Do you. Huh.

Okay anyway.

Idk how to end this I feel like theres still more I wanna say but i forgot. In conclusion: prin up that xiety. Reminder that FWSA was real and not a fever dream. I lied this is actually prinxiety propaganda.

But Hey That's Just A Theory. A really quite depressing and sad theory. Thanks for tumbling down a hill with me 🫶

[thefuzzzz]

Summary: "Now wait a minute Virgil, let's just try a rehearsal with Roman. Just once. If you hate it, you don't have to do it ever again,' Patton reasoned.

"There is no way in hell I am doing anything with Roman Prince."

Logan adjusted his clipboard. "Why do you feel the need to say his whole name every time?"

"That's beside the point!"

Roman threw his hands up exasperatedly. Virgil waved him off, deciding to ignore him. There was no way this was worse for him than it was for Virgil.

"Just once," Thomas said. "Just one run through the show."

Virgil sighed. He pinched his nose. "Fine. Once."

———————

A college + community theater au where Virgil is bullied into joining a community theater by his roommate, Patton, and forced into an unlikely friendship with his sworn enemy.

———————

This fic was written for the @sandersidesbigbang ! I had a ton of fun with this event and got the opportunity to work with two amazing people!

@loganisanobody was my beta reader and artist. This fic would not be the same without their help with the storyline and I can’t thank them enough for their beautiful art.

@zombiesandbells was my artist. She is so talented her art absolutely blew me away. I think it beautifully captures the scene and gives so much personality to it.

Thank you to both of my partners and the amazing people running this event! I can’t wait to participate again next time.

(Tags, ratings, and trigger warnings below the cut)

Rating: General audiences

Archive warning: no archive warnings apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series)

Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality Patton, Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders

Characters: Anxiety / Virgil Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic Logan Sanders, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF)

Additional Tags: Theater AU, community theater au, small tw for a non-detailed panic attack in one chapter, prinxiety centric, College AU, Fluff, Romeo and Juliet. thing., Classic trope of actor gets sick so techie is forced to play the lead with the star

Language: English

[prodigal-explorer]

ins and outs of 2024 (sanders sides fandom edition)

ins (😍):

-remy centric art/fics/creations (i feel like he’s going to make a comeback!).

-aus where all the sides are related/family.

-drawing the sides as animals.

-constructive tss criticism without tagging thomas.

-dancer aus!

-roman/logan angst that has nothing to do with them turning into villains.

-uniquely styled fics (bullet fics, poem fics, script fics, video fics, podfics, you name it!).

-overaccessorized cosplays!

outs (🙄):

-blaming roman for things that aren’t his fault.

-incorrect quotes where the entire punchline is just infantilizing patton.

-“(side) needs to have a villain arc in canon!”/“(side) is gonna become a dark side!”.

-aphobia/arophobia in the fandom (i could write an essay about this).

-calling logan and janus alcoholics.

-“roman isn’t thomas’ hero” jokes.

-saying “did you even watch the series?” when people express their dislike towards a side.

-racism in the fandom (i’ve written essays about this).

[intrulogical]

Perceptiveness and Power: A Remus Essay

While this could just be me reiterating what was already presented in canon, I just wanted to acknowledge the semantics of Remus as a side, and how his sense of perceptiveness provides him a semblance of power to influence both Thomas and the other sides.

In DWIT, to explain how Remus was able to garner anxiety from Thomas, Patton, and Virgil, Logan describes him as someone who “plays to [Thomas’] sensitivities.”

And, well, fucking duh. I think majority of the fandom acknowledges that Remus uses fear as a means to gain control or get the attention of the other sides and Thomas. But a thing I think most people don’t acknowledge as much is how skilled Remus is at understanding fears in the first place.

[rest of the essay is under the cut!]

Because random, stereotypical R18 stuff is generally scary; it appeals to what the status quo collectively thinks is inhumane or awful. But to me, this isn’t actually what provides Remus power to influence the others. He garners control via understanding personal fears. And, I mean, double fucking duh because it would hit more if someone can thoroughly sniff out the insecurities you keep secret from the world.

But I still think that Remus’ perceptiveness of one’s fears generally goes unnoticed. I think it’s underestimated, even, both in the fandom and in Sanders Sides itself. We think this man is Silly, he said so himself, but I think we also have to realize that Remus is deliberate. Yes, his goals can be silly and can change on a whim, but that does not mean that Remus is dumb. He commits. He commits in the way that he creates complicated traps for Thomas to feel more and more insecure about himself. He commits in the way that he plays into Virgil and Patton’s fears, toying with their warped sense of black-and-white thinking to make Thomas become more insecure.

If Remus wants to do something, he’s perceptive enough to know which insecurities he has to feast on to make it work.

Rewatching DWIT, I’ve noticed that, besides his random comments, he makes comments that directly describe the insecurities of everyone else in the room. It’s interesting, because he can make a string of comments unrelated to the matter at hand, then he’ll drop a heavy fucking bomb calling out the insecurities of another person. Here are the different examples I caught in DWIT and WTIT:

Reaping Thomas’ morality crisis:

His awareness of Logan’s neglect:

Two instances of his awareness of Virgil’s internal morality conflict:

Even Roman tells Thomas that Remus reminds him of his own insecurities. What a fucking madman. (all /lh btw, I fucking LOVE devious schemers):

And the scary part about this is that... this is the first time we see him. Of course, the sides would know him way before this episode, but the fact Remus can read them well without being close to them is terrifying.

The question is, what becomes of Remus’ perceptiveness and harvested power? While I am a Remus and Logan-centric blog, I do think there’s enough scenes in both DWIT and WTIT that could potentially foreshadow the future of their dynamic, and the execution of how Logan comes to terms with the others’ neglect towards him.

First scene:

Like, this feels a little… too on the nose. Knock on wood, Logan, especially when you acknowledge what happened in WTIT.

Second scene, to provide more context on what I want to explain: I can’t just provide screenshots for this, and I can’t attach a video, so please watch DWIT from 29:42-29:55. If you can’t, here’s a transcript:

[Logan: And THAT is precisely why the Duke feels like such a threat. In part, at least. The feeling that you may be a bad person who doesn't have control over yourself or your destiny causes you to fear that you may actually act on these thoughts.] 

An important part to denote is that Remus shifts is eyes when Logan says “feelig that you may be a bad person who doesn’t have control over yourself.” There’s something very mischievous and cheeky about that eye shift, from looking directly at Logan and looking away as if saying, well isn’t that hypocritical?

Look at the transcript again, too. Even without Remus’ eyeroll, doesn’t the person Logan describe feel a little… familiar to you? Of course, they all shared the loss of the audition, but think: which of the sides has hinted anger issues (“doesn’t have control over yourself”) and has lost the opportunity to heavily influence Thomas’ life, especially in terms of career (“or your destiny”)?

Of course: Logan.

While Logan is correct in saying intrusive thoughts don’t have real-world impact, Logan is also correct in saying that Patton and Virgil are at fault for reacting intensely against Remus’ funneled intrusive thoughts, causing Thomas’ mental health to dip further. 

But Remus does not just invoke fear via horrors that the collective status quo would consider as horror. Remus understands and is perceptive of the other sides and Thomas’ personal fear, just like I established a while ago. And with the way he calls out other sides’ insecurities, sometimes he just... does it, because he wants to. Not just as his role as intrusive thoughts, but possibly just a personal agenda to fulfill.

So, in essence, Remus as intrusive thoughts may not hurt Logan, but Remus as a perceptive, cunning, committed, goal-oriented person still can.

If he sniffs an insecurity out of Logan, would you think he still has no “real-world impact”?

Yeah, thought so.

While I don’t actually know what Remus would want out of Logan, I do think that, at a meta-angle, Remus can provide... a lot of insight and advice for Logan in terms of gaining power and handling mistreatment, whether it would be beneficial for Logan or not.

All I’m gonna say is, Remus’ character is very interesting, and I’m heavily intrigued to know how he would continue bothering the other sides, especially Logan.

[halfhissandwich]

@analoginceweek Day Four: “Are you okay?”

Story below! (Warning for angst) (this is part 1 of the story, part 2 I’m saving for tomorrow for day 5)

Logan was glad that the others were happy, he really was. Thomas had been waiting to hear back from Nico all day, and while he had promised Logan that he’d spend the day being productive with him, it still makes sense that upon receiving an invitation to spend time with Nico, Thomas would jump at the opportunity. That wasn’t what bothered Logan.

What bothered Logan was what happened during his encounter with that Duke. Logan expected it to go poorly, it was Remus after all, but this was just… cruel. How Logan had been provoked. How Remus went out of his way to remind Logan of just how little Thomas cared about his advice.

How nauseous Logan felt when he saw the color orange…

Logan forced himself to snap back into reality when Nico would ask Thomas a question, though he wasn’t really paying attention. Roman and Patton seemed to have the situation under control, fairly well too since Virgil was just sitting off to the side, minding his own business. Logan smiled at his fellow sides before making eye contact with Roman, when his smile suddenly breaks, feeling like a liar for ever having smiled in the first place. As little as anyone wanted to admit it, Roman and Remus had many similarities… too many similarities. And thanks to Remus, the concept of creativity made Logan sick to his stomach, a feeling that Logan felt terrible for having in the first place.

“Lo?”

Roman was better than Remus! Roman had been his friend since the logical side had first formed, and had been one of his two boyfriends for, what, 3 years now? Logically, Logan knew that Roman was harmless, especially compared to his brother.

“Logan.”

But the knowledge that if Roman could do something similar to Remus if he so chose made Logan want to vomit. Was his love for Roman fake? No, it couldn’t have been, could it? But Roman hated Janus for comparing him to Remus, will Roman hate him too? He’s not trying to compare him to Remus, he’s really not! It was like a reflex to look at Roman and imagine a mustache where one didn’t exist, as little as Logan wanted to think about it. It was almost… intrusive…

“Logan!” Logan’s spiraling is interrupted by Virgil’s soft hand being placed on his cheek. Despite his trait, Virgil was exceptionally good at calming Logan down when he needed it, not that Logan was the type to ever admit he needs it to begin with.

“Oh, um… yes, Virgil?” Logan asks, trying to act like he wasn’t just picturing Roman as Remus for… how long had he been staring at Roman in horror?

“Are you okay?” Virgil’s quiet voice sounded so damn comforting, despite the fact that Logan hadn’t even planned to tell him anything. It makes him feel like a traitor. He claims to be in love with Virgil and Roman and yet he can’t be honest with them even though he knows how much they hate lies? And even worse, he had betrayed Roman by subconsciously comparing him to the one side he hates being compared to the most? “L-Logan?? Why are you crying, L?”

Logan tightly wraps his arms around Virgil before he can stop himself, which prompts Roman and Patton to also look over with concern before rushing to Logan’s side to comfort him. “My dear, what’s the matter? Did Thomas say something wrong or something?” Roman tries to make eye contact with Logan, who avoids looking up from where he’s buried his face in Virgil’s jacket, desperately avoiding Roman’s gaze. Don’t look at me, Roman, I’m so sorry… I’m the worst boyfriend ever, how could I do that to you? And not even have the courage to tell you about it??

Virgil shoots Patton a pleading look, and Patton gets the message, gently instructing Thomas that it’s time to leave. Thomas, despite his initial disappointment, agrees after a bit of prodding, wishing Nico a good day before leaving to go home. Virgil carries Logan on his back, not wanting to force him to walk when he’s so miserable. Roman tries repeatedly to get Logan to look at him, to no avail, which worries both Virgil and Roman.

As soon as they arrive home, Logan sinks out to go to his room to be alone, leaving Virgil and Roman in a state of confusion and worry for their boyfriend.

[analoceits]

raven wings chapter one: spiraling smoke

A03 Link

note: ahh im super excited this is finally out!! massive and i mean massive thanks to Oatmeal_Archive, also known as @oatmeat-stans-the-trash-rat on tumblr and ChaosIsMyName, both of my beta readers for this fic!! they were both AMAZING moral support and oatmeal is a grammar wizard tbh. check out their stuff, they’re great writers!!

tags: Wings, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, Winged Logic | Logan Sanders, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Minor Body Horror, Minor Gore, Religious Guilt, Morally Neutral Morality | Patton Sanders (hes well intentioned just.. a bit messy), Light Sides As Family (Sanders Sides) (they care about eachother sm)

-

The wings shot out of his back like spiraling towers of smoke, and in the blurry bathroom mirror - they might as well have been. Logan carefully traced his fingers to where they poked out of his back, right under his shoulder blades and felt the muscles. They were real.

He didn’t hesitate before raising them in the air, arching over his head like a deep shadow in the dark light. He bit his tongue to stop himself from gasping out loud with his shock. It looked like a biblical portrait.

He ran his fingers over the dark feathers while thinking back to what could’ve caused this - to be fair, he didn’t have many leads. When he had woken up like this, he didn’t even realize he had wings at first. He could’ve sworn it was one of Virgil’s thick weighted blankets he often borrowed (not that he needed it), but he realized when he sat up.

They were real, that was at least proven - considering how as he stumbled to the bathroom, one of the wings dragging behind him knocked into the table and one of Patton's favorite plants smashed to the floor. He was lucky it was easy to clean up, and the pot was only a little cracked.

He let the wings fall back down to his sides, slightly rocking with their sheer weight. They were much more dense and strong then he had previously imagined. He hadn’t previously thought he could actually fly with them, but with this realization - there was a possibility.

He gripped as tightly as he could along the edge of the counter, and started to flap them as strongly as he could. The muscles themselves were young, and therefor weak. Despite this, after a second he was barely putting weight on his feet, and next thing he knew he was in the air.

He levitated just briefly, not breathing at all for that silent second. Then the wings gave out. He crashed back to the tile floor, scrambling to hoist himself up with the bathroom counter. It definitely bruised his ribs in the process (ow), but facing himself in the mirror - he couldn’t stand to count it as a disappointment.

He set himself back up right and let his thoughts flow. These were not.. particularly planned for, mayhaps, but they weren’t the worst possible change in the Mindscape. Really, the sheer convenience of them was worth their existence all on its own.

He also spared a thought for the possibility of the other sides’ reaction. Despite how emotionless he was, the thought of their wonder made something deep in his chest burn like a lit candle. He could imagine Patton awwing and oohing over the wings, while Roman insisting it was good potential for ‘adventuring’, and even perhaps Virgil finding solace in the thought that it was a safety net for Logan.

Though, for all he knew, these were an impermanent change. The mindscape did not often pull stunts like this. Despite the fact that the sides had small varieties, in the end, they all mostly resembled Thomas. Did any side even have any changes this significant, like animal features- oh.

Oh.

How had he forgotten?

(Thomas was young at the time. Patton and Janus were in charge, but it was more arbitrary then anything - they were all the same age in the end. King had seemed older, seemed more in charge, but now it was just the twins - with big eyes and little hands just like the rest of them. 

There was distant yelling, and despite how far the voices were, there was no question who it was. Logan put his book down on his lap and looked up. Roman stared at him from across the room and frowned with concern. Jan and Pat had been arguing more recently. Logan nodded at the implicit question, getting up and taking Roman by the hand as they wondered down the hall.

The words became clearer as they became closer.

“I’ve told you that lying isn’t worth it, Jan.. Thomathy’s in trouble and I don’t know how long it’s gonna last!” Patton practically wailed, throwing his arms out through his distress and desperation. He was always emotional in these scenarios.

“You’re acting like I pushed it over myself. It is not that serious of an infraction, Patton. His parents will get over it!” Janus snapped back, arms tucked over his chest and face furrowed with his anger.

Thomas had knocked it over earlier while they were playing. Their mother had valued it a lot, but Thomas thought he could hide it by cleaning it up, with the encouragement of Janus. He got a shard stuck in his hand in the process, and their parents were now worried and furious.

Patton hadn’t coped well. Any time when they were in trouble, or needed to get treatment, he was the most upset. Thus, the intersection was the worst possible scenario. It made sense as he was the center for Morality and Emotions; he was prone to being upset. Nobody blamed him for that. The main issue was that he projected that onto Janus.

Logan turned to face Roman, who gave a steady nod as the argument droned on around them. Despite being the most ‘mature’, and therefor heads of house (so to speak). Janus and Pattons’ arguments could get ugly, fast. The other sides luckily had learned how to separate them in these scenarios and avoid such problems.

Logan motioned that he would take Janus and Roman could take Patton, their usual arrangement. Roman nodded in agreement. Logan was about to step in so they could object to this, but then he stopped. No. Something was wrong.

“Why are you acting so cold-blooded-” Patton yelled, his eyes welling up with angry tears, and Janus’s expression dropped. Despite everything - he hated such insults to a special degree. As if he didn’t care, as if he didn’t try, he would say every time.

Then, it happened. Scales tore through the skin under his eye and seemed to envelops half his face one quick go. His right eye was like a snakes, gold with a thin black slit. His teeth sharpened to little blades in his mouth. 

The silence was overwhelming, and the tension in the air was so palpable Logan could barely breath. He felt Roman’s hand tighten in his, and he gripped back the best he could. Patton clamped his hands over his mouth and slowly paced back, hovering over Roman and Logan protectively in the process.

Janus’s expression went from pure single-minded anger and to confusion, then fear just as the rest of them. He spun his head around behind him for a second, clearly looking for the threat, before he put a hand on his own face. Then, he felt the scales.

He opened his mouth, and even now Logan wondered what he had planned to say - an apology? An explanation? Maybe he was planning to beg with Patton, or maybe he would of never been able say anything at all. It didn’t matter, of course, because Patton cut him off.

Patton clasped his hands together in front of his face, turned his head down and started to pray. He prayed quietly, as always. Once Logan asked him to explain why, and he said that he already had God in his heart - he didn’t need to speak anywhere else. Logan thought it cowardice, but he didn’t say so. Of course, that didn’t matter now - it didn’t take a genius to guess which prayer he was saying.

I come to Your refuge with joy for You shelter me against the attack of the Devil. Protect me, O Lord, from the craftiness of the enemy, and save me from his evil plots.

It was one of Patton's favorite prayers.

Janus stared, and Logan knew he wasn’t the only one to guess the prayer correctly then. Soft anger rested upon his expression. He hissed something under his breath - Logan couldn’t hear it, but Patton must have, because he turned his head up and stopped praying. The look was indecipherable.

Then Janus walked out, hands in fists but head held as high as always. Patton paced back to his room without even seeming to have seen Logan or Roman, and they both ran to their room after. Virgil, Janus, and Remus’s rooms were gone the next morning.)

.. Maybe these weren’t an act of the mindscape. These types of events, with the context of the incident with Janus, seemed to be after negative events. Nothing had occurred. (It was nothing.) This was simply just an accident, or glitch, possibly. 

It was nothing that adjusting his form couldn’t fix. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, tracing his fingers along where the wings poked out of his skin. His flesh seemed to crackle as he tried to push the wings back into himself, letting the bones and muscle nestle into his back. 

After a long, awkward moment of this, his skin wrapped back over itself and he placed a palm where the wing once sprouted from. Nothing.

He opened his eyes again and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he still was faced with nothing. He took a few deep breaths, glad that the problem was resolved. He shoved it back into the far corners of his memory. It was noth-

Then he felt it. Burning fire under his skin as bones and feathers reformed into one, with no care or consideration for the rest of his body, tearing muscles apart and shoving his ribs to the side. He covered his mouth, and when that wasn’t enough, he dragged his blunt nails against his cheeks in a desperate attempt to stay silent.

He tried his best to focus and attempted to disperse the wings once more, stop them from reforming desperately, lest they break through his skin. His entire back burned with pain at the attempt. He was sent careening downwards, gripping onto the counter for dear life.

He bit his bottom lip and before he knew it, blood was welling up in his mouth. Every attempt to try and calm himself, breath deeply or count, eventually just made it worse. He gasped and choked on air, while his lungs desperately strained to keep function. The pain was unbearable. 

Virgil - Virgil had told him that after the incident, but before they left the Lightscape, Janus tried to get rid of the scales. Only once. Only once because the first time taught him to not try again, then Virgil had refuse to elaborate farther. Logan understood what he meant now.

The black wings finally broke through his skin and it took everything in Logan’s body to not scream at the top of his lungs. The world swam around him as he felt blood well up around the wings and drip down his back. He spit blood into the sink, and his entire body shook.

The pain slowly eased off of him until he could think again. He propped his head up in his hands and looked up, facing himself in the mirror. The wings were limp against his back, but now he could see the blood on them. They felt more like the burnt and charred wings of a fallen angel instead of anything biblical. He could practically hear Patton’s response, telling him he had fallen from grace. But.. maybe he didn’t have to be aware.

He cleaned the rest of the blood off of himself as gently as he could, before heading back to his room through the dark. He tucked the wings tight against his back and made a point to not spare the cracked flowerpot a guilty glance. After a few achingly long minutes of shuffling through his possessions as the sun rose, he got what he needed and returned to the bathroom.

He spread the items out on the counter, assessing them all equally. A typical black collar shirt of his, a tie, and a laced corset that Roman had left him. He picked up the corset. This could work.

He sinched the corset around himself with steady hands, tucking the wings underneath. Pain flared up and burst through the bloody things, which objected to being tucked so tightly. He bit his lip raw in the process, but by the end the wings were tucked sturdy against his back, if a bit painfully.

Then, he dawned the shirt and tie, and tried his best to see through all angles in the mirror.

It wasn’t the best disguise, that was to be sure. The wings poked out a little, harsh little spikes of bone against his shirt, but that was just because he knew what he was looking for. The other sides, even if they noticed the odd shape, would be unlikely to comment on it. At least, he hoped.

He barely registered the noise of Roman sitting up, and taking his usual morning stretch with an average amount of dramatic flourish. It was his turn to make breakfast, after all. Biting back his reservations, he fled to the kitchen.

////

“Popstar Padre - is it really worth it to give Janus a ‘fair place at our table’?” Roman ranted between thick bites of waffle, waving his fork like any weapon. “No offense, but the snake isn’t exactly the fair and friendly type that I want influencing Thomas.”

Patton wrung his hands, staring to the side, then down, then at the table. Anywhere but at Roman. Virgil looked between the two, with semi-wide eyes waiting for movement, before sighing deeply like he realized the task at hand.

“Sorry Ro- actually, not sorry at all, but got to agree with Pat on this one.” Roman’s face practically dropped to the core of the earth, looking like the world’s most kicked puppy, but Virgil continued without a hitch. “Janus can be.. the worst, definitely, but he’s getting better. We got to.. ugh, give him a chance, like you gave me.” Virgil’s face curled up like he was being forced to eat dirt with every word he spoke.

Roman snapped out a response, pointing his fork with an accusatory glare. Logan happily tuned out the words, for once content to fade into the background of a debate. The wings continuously shuffled underneath the corset, so having less eyes on him was for the better.

The argument droned on around him, like he was a rock in a river. Silently, for once, he ate his breakfast. Nobody noticed him and that was for the best. With luck, these would simply disappear in a week or two, and nobody would ever know-

“Lo?” The voice was thick with concern, and he nearly bit his tongue off attempting to not flinch. He hesitated, and then very carefully drew his attention back up to Virgil. His heart dropped at the mix of worry and suspicion that rested on his face.

“Yes?” He asked, after choking down a quick bite of pancake. The wings shuffled under the corset, and he cursed his stupid fleshform. Then Virgil put a hand on his shoulder, directly above the wings. He cursed existence, trying to keep the new muscles locked still.

“You’re quiet. You aren’t usually quiet. What’s wrong?” The words made Logan spare Patton and Roman a glance - knowing if they even got the slightest hint he was in any way, shape or form, wrong they’d get worried too. For once, seeing them continue on with their bickering was a blessing.

“I was making up for a small error in Thomas’s editing schedule last night and stayed up a little later than intended. I am simply tired from such activities.” The lie slipped out of his throat like honey. He was sure, with his luck, that Janus was about to pop up behind him.

There was a moment of silence, with Virgil practically glaring into his very soul. Thankfully, he oh so slowly he let go, suspicion still written on his face nonetheless. “Take a nap later. I mean it too, Lo. You aren’t Remy - you can’t do all nighters like that.” His expression softened slightly, and he turned to take a bite of pancake - instead ending up butting into Patton and Roman’s debate once more.

Logan practically breathed all of his lungs out and then some with his relief. His heart was pounding like a war drum. The wings shuffled awkwardly under the corset, trying to find a comfortable resting position again.

It was alright, he reminded himself with the logical part of his brain; Virgil was unaware. Realistically, Virgil would be the one of the light sides to care the least about his.. er, sudden change, but he’d rather not risk it either way, considering that the other option would be him caring the most.

(“You’re just like that fucking snake.”)

He shook his head to clear the thoughts from his skull, and the wings awkwardly ruffled once more under the leather. He was honestly shocked he hadn’t accidentally cramped one of them at this rate.

And then he felt a pair of eyes burning into his back. He didn’t dare look up, because he knew it was Virgil; he knew looking up would just make things worst for him.

Virgil slowly spoke, not like Logan couldn’t understand, but as if he struggled to form words. “Did-,” he hissed and Logan thanked God it was quiet, “did something just move under your shirt?” Fear laced his tone like a thick blanket, and Logan’s muscles tightened slightly.

He turned to face Virgil, carefully angling himself so the wings could fold behind his back and Virgil couldn’t see them. “Nothing moved under my shirt,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows in his best concerned expression. He felt like Janus with this much lying, “Virgil, how much did you sleep last night?”

Virgil scrunched up his face, making it very clear he didn’t believe a word that came out of Logan’s mouth. “No, no no nope,” he popped the ‘P’ for extra effect, “listen, Lo, I’ve already gone down the whole ‘did you sleep enough last night’ she-bang with Janus. That doesn’t work on me.” He insisted.

“It isn’t a trick,” he insisted as calmly as he could, putting his hands up and leaning back slightly for the best kindly demeanor he could give off, “I’m just saying that insomnia, or lack of sleep, can cause minor visual hallucinations - such as seeing something move under ones shirt, and I am aware you’ve struggled with such in the past.”

Virgil stared at him as hard as he could. Logan’s heart twisted with guilt as he watched Virgil’s expression drop, and he seemed to convinced himself that Logan was right and he was just seeing things. “Sorry,” he muttered, and turned back to his dish.

“It’s quite alright.” Logan insisted, turning back to his food himself just as quickly. It was for the best, he reasoned. No reason to tell Virgil and have him in charge of such a big secret, considering his anxiety. 

They ate in silence for what felt like an infinite eternity. Though, Logan knew logically it could’ve only been five, ten minutes more. The argument between Patton and Roman slowly fizzled out, neither of them none the wiser to Logan and Virgil’s.. disagreement.

He finished his plate and got up, calmly announcing as he headed to the sink, “I believe the chore chart indicates that it’s Virgil turn to do the dishes, correct?” He asked, quickly rinsing off his plate.

Virgil nodded and said, “Yeah. I’ll get them once I’m done.” His voice was still the barest bit somber, and Logan could feel the way his eyes traced Logan’s back. 

Logan gave him one last acknowledging glance and ducked down, before crumbling back to his bed. He automatically snapped his shirt and the corset off in one moment. The wings splayed out, exhausted and sore. He covered his face while they stretched.

He turned over and put his arms out. He counted each glow-in-the-dark star on his ceiling and felt every single feather already out of angle. The agitation was unbearable, and he could only pray this was a temporary curse. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up.

[soysaucevictim]

Just some meta rambling, writing this fic.

meddling about [in The Temenos] was a big reason that the whole disneyland stunt in book 2 didn't have as much reverb after all, obama was running for president and election day was just abt a week after that mess! "pay attn to the Yes We Can Guy... don't look behind The Happiest Place On Earth's Curtain. Shhhh...." been putting everything in v specific years and minding shit like us/world hx and weather data... :,D

[sheets-of-your-own]

Sanders Sides

Hurt, And How We Grow Past It

Jinx72

33,993 words

Medium Recommendation

This was published on 13/11/2019 and is set after Selfishness vs Selflessness.

It is very angsty with lots of dark themes and mental health issues- def a trigger warning for panic attacks, severe self worth issues, debatable self harm

It’s DRLAMP slowburn (no ship between Roman and Remus) and Deceit centric.

Deceit and Roman get injured in the imagination after a big confrontation, the other sides help them recover and Deceit realizes he can be more loved than he thought.

Pre name reveal so he’s called Deceit throughout

Mostly Deceit pov, third person- but there are snippets from the other characters when needed.

Lots of dialogue over scene description, which I usually don’t like (show over tell) but it works for this fic when the whole point is them needing to talk.