#rockcon

[jnjlen-ou-skinjbir]

Trailer Park Boys Jail Ep 4 - Goddamn Weeds and Scrotums

Hey guys ! Time for my weekly Trailer Park Boys : Jail summary/commentary/review, about episode 4 : Goddamn Weed and Scrotums

As always, the summary/commentary/review is under the cut, to not spoil or whatever ;)

TPB : Jail Episode 4 – Goddamn Weed and Scrotums (or What the fuck am I watching at this point lmao)

(normal writing : the summary ; in italic, my thoughts)

Summary/commentary :

-Bubbles acquired a drone and films the Trailer Park so the other two don’t get homesick. Meanwhile the guards bring a new prisoner, Pitbull, known for biting people’s cocks off.

-Ricky is apparently „straight“ again, but he really needs booze and dope, and is having a meltdown in front oft he security camera. He doesn’t understand how Julian is doing so well, but says « he smells really nice“. The guard threaten Ricky with solitary while Julian is trying to calm him down. Enters Terry, fresh from the shower (hanging around in his jail top and swimming orange-like, distended speedos. Thankfully Julian tells him to change) who informs Ricky that Pitbull has some Temple Ball hash (the best kind of hash according to Ricky) on him.

-Ricky needs the hash for when he will see Charlene (his gf) later in the day, because he’s „never fucked straight“ (hmmmm...doubt in non-monosexual) and is afraid to look like he doesn’t know what he’s doing with Charlene. Terry and Ricky agree that hash make better at sex.

-They go see Pitbull and he will let Ricky smoke one toke of his Temple Ball joint if Ricky gives him 30 min of phone credit. Terry tells Ricky he could smoke the whole joint in a breath, if his lungs are trained, and Ricky lets him train him: pushing Ricky’s head underwater, making him breathe in a latex glove, breathe with weights on his upper body, and putting a rag dipped in urine in front of Ricky’s face so he has to hold his breath (all that with the instrumental of a pseudo-motivational song kinda like the Rocky song).

-Ricky meets Pitbull again and smoke the whole joint in one toke (and Terry inhales the exhale). Of course, Pitbull isn’t pleased with that and calls Ricky a „goof“, which is apparently the worst thing you can call someone in jail (seems really disproportionate for me, but since it’s a Canadian jail it could make sense), so now they have to fight. Terry suggests Ricky to protect his cock, which Ricky understands as condoms, but Terry clarifies he’s talking about some kind of shell Ricky phones Bubbles to get him one, but Bubbles tell them to DIY one in the jail’s repair shop, „with substantive girth“. After pre-selecting a Sopalin roll, a toaster and a birdhouse out of popsicles sticks, Ricky decides to use a metal pipe.

-We learn a few moments before the fight that Julian’s taking bets to make money. Unofrtunately the cock protector is not enough, since Pitbull goes for Ricky’s unprotected balls. Ensues several minutes of Ricky’s screaming, and Terry & Julian trying to get Pitbull out of Ricky’s groin (very uncomfortable scene to see and even more uncomfortable to imagine how in the hell did they shoot that scene and how many times they probably had to shoot it????!!!!). They manage to negotiate with Pitbull, who will release Ricky if they get him a joint of good hash.

-The trio calls Bubbles to tell him to deliver them some hash, which he does with the drone. Ricky and Julian make a joint for Pitbull, who, satisfied witht he hash quality releases Ricky.

-Back in Sunnyvale, Bubbles and Randy talk RockCon costumes. Randy suggests he goes as Sebastian Bach. A policeman gets there andis looking for the drone’s owner. Randy inadvertently rats on Bubbles, but the latter manages to save face by saying that Randy hasn’t taken his medication and is saying some dumb shit. The police guy isn’t convinced and says they will keep on watching Bubbles

-Ricky’s in pain and he has to meet with Charlene. It is revealed that he’s the one supposed to bring Charlene money, and not the other way around. Julian tells him taht’s not how it’s supposed to work, but Ricky tell him he’s in love with him (Ricky, ricky, ricky…You never fucking learn, do you). Ricky begs Julian to take a look at his groin, Julian initially refuses, saying he has seen Ricky’s dick too many times already, but ends up looking and seeing the terrible state of his balls, takes him to the doc

Overall commentary :

-like my title said : What the fuck am I watching ? Sofar, each episode felt more fucked up than the last one. When I saw that tumbnail of the episode and the genitalia biting, I only expect it to be like a misunderstanding lasting a grand total of 18 seconds, but it was the plot of 75% of the episode

-no Yolanda again :( but I don’t understand why they keep introducing new characters, but they don’t play much of a role ?

-Ngl, I didn’t understand right away the name of the weed provider was « Pitbull ». After that, it was impossible to not imagine a mix of the singer Pitbull and Emir Kusturica’s version of „Pitbull terrier“

-I thought Terry’s hair was a wig (not looking that great), but according to the way it looked out of the shower, it’s his real hair (or at least he has some real hair in it). No shame to people who wear wigs, weaves or hair extensions but the wigs the show has used before…were a choice

-Terry and Ricky got everything wrong for the cock-protector by not protecting the balls as well. I don’t have a penis and I’ve never had one, but I would’ve DIYed something looking like the triangle with the round ends they use in sports like american football. The metal was a good base, but they should’ve tried to cut a round/triangle out of it, curved it and rounded the edge, before covering it in reparations duck tape (you know, the shiny-ish grey tape) to avoid getting. Plus the duck taped edges serve to attach a lining (cotton, fabric, whatever they have access too) inside the shield, so it’s more confortable.

If cutting and curving the metal isn’t possible, they could’ve taken some cardboard, cut it into the same shape, but covered it in layers and layers of ducktape, with possibly cotton (not the fabric, but the cloud-like form).

(in any of those options, the duck tape might be a problem if one has hair on their groin area and it gets caught in the duck tape)

Another option would’ve been covering the piece of cardboard with layers of newspaper and wood glu, but the time needed to dry this mix is way too long for the time crunch they had

-no, for the first time since the beginning of the series, I’m not gonna go on a mlm Ricky/Julian rant on this episode

-I just realized why I thought since S1 Randy was looking familiar. He kinda looks like Big Ed (the 90 Fiancé guy with sexist double standards) !

 Theories/hypothesis for the next episodes (tbh I don’t have much)

-Bubbles is going to have to escape being under watch by the police, which could result on him not being able to attend RockCon due to him being restrained at home/not being allowed to leave Sunnyvale/Nova Scotia if RockCon isn’t held in NS/getting back in jail, again

-Ricky is gonna have a rude awakening about his „gf“ Charlene. Julian will try to tell him she doesn’t love him, she’s using him for money, like Lucy kinda did, which opens a conversation of what is love and Julian explaining what love is (or Bubbles does, or both Julian and Bubbles does), and given what he says, the audience/Ricky is supposed to come at the conclusion that he might be loving Julian and/or Julian might love him. Maybe even saying outloud „Wait…Does that mean we love each other ?.... No, we’re not gay. Or maybe we are ? Fuck, prison really messed up our brain departments and compartments »  (or maybe Terry, who has overheard the conversation, is the one to point that out)

[realmarydiamond]

I painted my first figure at #RockCon 2017! #RevolutionMary #nerdheaven (at Rock-Con)

[tmorriscode]

Story Time, Younglings

In 2001, Barbara Hambly was the guest of honor at Rockcon, a literary convention that I attended in Little Rock.

Hambly did some novels under contract including a tie-in novelization to Beauty and the Beast (the show with Linda Hamilton and Ron Pearlman in lion makeup).

And she did some work for the Star Wars novelizations.

So on a panel, she told war stories about writing for media tie ins. She said she loved writing the Beauty and the Beast tie-in because she came up with a plot in which the underground sewer/cave tunnels where the street people all lived flooded. And the show’s writers were all complementary because she did something they wanted to do, but couldn’t because they couldn’t risk getting the lion makeup wet.

She was more than a little salty about writing for the Star Wars tie-ins (IMO).

Part of it was that Lucasfilm wanted a book in which Luke met the great, almighty love of his life. So she wrote a proposal and they accepted it. She was 3/4 of the way through the manuscript when she got a call. “They told me that a bigger author wanted to write the great love of Luke’s life.” So she had to change the ending. Hell, they hired her to write a whole other book to get rid of the character they hired her to create.

Which, in reading the Thrawn trilogy, I feel that Zahn was setting Mara up to be Luke’s eventual love interest. Nothing too overt, in case Lucasfilm went another way. But he definitely set plot hooks in the books that could develop Mara along those lines.

One other thing Hambly said she did in Children of the Jedi was develop the Gamorrean culture. She basically became the author Lucasfilm sent you to talk to if you were going to use the Pig guards in an EU story.

That’s something, I guess.

At the time, she’d also released A Free Man Of Color, which was a historical mystery. She’s since written 13 more books in that series, so she probably finds it more satisfying and lucrative than writing tie in novels.

[sugar-syringe]

also before we party at the zoo at the end of the month we're going to a geological convention its like a rockcon for rock nerds

[metalsludgeceo]

I will be appearing at "80's In The Park" in Cocoa Beach Florida Sept 21-24th at the #RockCon music festival & convention. Ironically I lived a very short distance from this location back in 1985. Kind of a (tiny bit of a) homecoming every time I visit So. Fl. #CantWait Tons of bands, all at a beachside resort for the entire weekend. No driving back n' fourth from hotel to venue, everything is right there. Bands include #lynchmob #jackyl #winger #tedpoley of #dangerdanger #junkyard #enuffznuff #jetboy #lilianaxe #houseoflords #MarkEvans of #HeavensEdge #genelovesjezebel #novarex #dirtyskirty #everymothersnightmare and others. Guests at the #rockcon include #BobbieBrown #BrandiBrandt #SimonWright of #AcDc #MarkSpitz of #Anthrax and many more. Add to that #MetalBabeMayem will be there along with tons of vendors. Find out more at www.80sinthepark.com or find their event page on #facebook See you on the beach.

[ameernzmi]

Rock Conquest 2015 - Lunar Climbers of IIUM

This Lunar bunches are full of talented and awesome peeps. I gave my utmost respect to their cute family-like bonds, enduring whatever obstacles they gone into, together. Non-stop rooting for each other. I came to know them from my first time experience in rock climbing sport, and then slowly knowing each of the family members.

Truly, a hidden gem yet to be polished on the vertices. A remarkable talent waiting it’s time to shine to the whole universe. Or should I say, to the whole rocks and boulders!

- Came for Lunar Climbers. Go Ayam! #ARCIIUM #LunarClimbers 

[cabtx]

#RockCon #rockwoodsoy #RockCon2015 New gorgeous branding!

[jnjlen-ou-skinjbir]

Trailer Park Boys Jail Ep.2 Summary/Review : “Red, Raw Arseholes”

Like promised a summary/review of the second episode of TPB Jail, “Red, Raw Arseholes”. It’s under the cut to not spoil anybody.

(This is a lengthy one, folx!)

Disclaimer: the included screenshots, taken from the Swearnet website, are used for entertainment and commentary purposes only.

(Alternative title: HTSYJ - How to stone your jailmate)

Yep, this will discuss a lot of ways to get high. Please don’t do that at home

Summary (my comments in italic)

-the newest scheme Julian has come up with is to sell contraband paper, the white soft all that jazz TP bc in jail all they have is the brown sandpaper-esque jail TP. They hide the TP in books, that Ricky is distributing. (ngl I cringed in pain as Ricky admitted to have wiped his ass with actual sandpaper) Bubbles is the one smuggling TP during his visits, because he feels bad for the two, and hides it up his pant’s legs.

-to replace the alcohol he needs and since he can’t get a batch of potato vodka running, Julian is drinking a bit of mouthwash/cologne/aftershave/whatever to help him think better. Ricky is also looking for substitute: so with Terry they sniff sharpie markers (Terry has even developed color combos to optimize the high-ation lmao), but it’s not enough for Ricky. they try to snif gas, but since it’s diesel they can’t get high. Terry tells Ricky to get better markers.

-Ricky reveals to the cam he’s talking to a girl through a website or sth dedicated to inmates (and with non-inmates girls responding) and although he wanted to do like the other inmates and take advantage of her at the beginning, he cares for her now. She told him she loves him and Ricky says he has no reason to not believer her (Me, tuttuting with my water in a wineglass, shaking my head, in a Jujubee voice: Oh Ricky...You never learn. Does this mean his relation with Susan is over? I hope so, bc boy their relation was unhealthier than his with Lucy) and she’s coming to visit next week and hey’re gonna bang (I don’t see how’s that’s possible but let’s see). They then sniff glue and inhaled deodorant in paper bags (when I saw the glue’s brush in that pot and before understanding it was glue, I thought it was an anal plug, and that they were gonna take drugs anally, bc that’s a thing due to the capillaries around the anus or sth and bc Ricky and Terry are greasy enough to do that. Glad I was wrong, but we’ll come back to anuses later)

A high Ricky stumbles in Julian’s cell, who explains they need to make more money by selling more TP. Ricky and his genius high brain suggests to augment the number of shits (Ricky the marketing genius, creating demand -and a need- to match the supply). Julian approves and tells him to not get high anymore and not eat anything at the cafeteria today.

Julian talks with the cook and convinces him to put extra stuff in the food to give diarrhea to inmates, in exchange of 100 squares of TP. Meanwhile, high af, Ricky and Terry are snacking on chalk (yep, the ones you write on a chalkboard with)

Bubbles is painting a pair of space boots (pretty sure those are Demonias dipped in glitter in case anyone’s interested by the shoe shape. from my experience, the Demonia quality isn’t always there tho) for RockCon and Randy asks him 5$ for gas for his golfcart, which Bubbles ends up giving, bc randy says how much he misses Lahey and how he has nobody to cheer him up. (but I guess that’s all we’ll have abt Lahey?)

Julian tasks Bubbles of going to the Chinese market and buy spices and ingredients + extra TP (the convenience store is called big Ray lmao). Not managing to read the names of products (in chinese) Bubbles sees a seller and talks to him in “simplified English” and a lot of gestures only to realize the seller understands and speaks perfectly English.

Bubbles then goes with the ingredients to jail to meet Julian. While he’s filling the visit paperwork, Gorilla Fingers approaches him and begins sniffing him, saying he smells like baloney and that is a sexy smell. Obviously, Bubbles is really nervous, and GF doesn’t seem to understand why he’d be nervous. Once Julian has taken what Bubbles has brought, he leaves, without chit-chatting, upsetting Bubbles (I feel for him tbh. so far for the two episodes the boys’ behavior has really upset Bubbles. I’m guessing he will eventually snap)

Then the cook puts the ingredients (spices to make the shitting burn + the laxative) with the food and Julian gets angry at Ricky, Cory and Jacob for eating the food when he told them not to. Ofc Ricky doesn’t remember and finds the food really good/tasty, and hogs everybody’s plate as the cafeteria is emptied of the inmates, running for the toilets.

Ricky (who now has diarrhea) learns that Julian is behind that, gets pissed that his best friends caused the diarrhea epidemics and his asshole to burn, so he takes the TP stock in Julian’s cell and distributes it to other inmates

Then Terry puts some unguent on Ricky’s anus using a hockey stick (and lemme tell you, that little moan Ricky let out? fitting of the greasiest smut Ricky/Julian fanfics. That being said, I didn’t need to see that scene)

Final scene is Julian folding the TP’s squares he managed to salvage and downing the bottle of whatever alcohol substitute he found.

Possible turns of events for the next episodes:

-meeting Ricky’s new “penfriend” and them trying to find how to have sex in jail

-for the larger scheming/smuggling things, Bubbles will bring Randy and cover him in baloney smell so he can distract Gorilla Fingers, enticed by the “sexual” smell. Potentially Randy seducing Gorilla Fingers and convincing him to turn a blnd eye, or reveal some security secrets to the boys so they can better smuggle and stuff

-they should empty a part of the boxing bag to put the hooch there to fermentate, but surrounded with boxing sack padding so it doesn’t break. all they’d need to do would be neutralie the cams the time to empty the sack and put the hooch in a plastic container, and leave it for a few days

Other comments:

-haven’t seen (my babe) Yolanda :(

-love how Bubbles’ smartphone’s screen is always pitch black when he’s talking to the boys

-tbh I’m surprised Ricky knows what a laxative is and how to pronunciate correctly the word

-I didn’t expect to warm up to Terry but I kinda did? I love how sometimes you see him in the background with his headphones on playing air guitar and living his best rocker fantasy and kicking, totally oblivious to what’s going on

-hear ye, hear ye, Julian is now canonically non-straight, comrades!

Have you seen the new tattoos on his left hand? Like have you really SEEEEEEN them? It’s a heart, on his left ring finger, aka the finger where you put the engagement/wedding ring, and it’s colored with (at least) one band of a red-ish color, a yellow middle band and a thrid band in blue-ish color, so it’s either the pan colors or the gay/LGBTQ+ colors. So Julian is a mlm. Don’t believe me? He has a peace and love symbol in rainbow colors on the same hand. C’mon, there’s no way a cishet man would wear these tattoos (on places where everyone can see them all the more!)

still don’t believe me? He has a picture of Madonna in his cell! Afaik cishet dudes aren’t a big demographic in Madonna’s fans

[cabtx]

What?! New Nature Spa scent: Balance. My new favorite Nature Spa fragrance!! #rockwoodsoy #RockCon #ylangylang #RockCon2015 (at Rockwood Soy Co.)

[cabtx]

Nat and Chris are #RockCon bound! #rockwoodsoy #RockCon2015 (at Hershey, Pennsylvania)