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[jnjlen-ou-skinjbir]

Trailer Park Boys Jail Ep.2 Summary/Review : “Red, Raw Arseholes”

Like promised a summary/review of the second episode of TPB Jail, “Red, Raw Arseholes”. It’s under the cut to not spoil anybody.

(This is a lengthy one, folx!)

Disclaimer: the included screenshots, taken from the Swearnet website, are used for entertainment and commentary purposes only.

(Alternative title: HTSYJ - How to stone your jailmate)

Yep, this will discuss a lot of ways to get high. Please don’t do that at home

Summary (my comments in italic)

-the newest scheme Julian has come up with is to sell contraband paper, the white soft all that jazz TP bc in jail all they have is the brown sandpaper-esque jail TP. They hide the TP in books, that Ricky is distributing. (ngl I cringed in pain as Ricky admitted to have wiped his ass with actual sandpaper) Bubbles is the one smuggling TP during his visits, because he feels bad for the two, and hides it up his pant’s legs.

-to replace the alcohol he needs and since he can’t get a batch of potato vodka running, Julian is drinking a bit of mouthwash/cologne/aftershave/whatever to help him think better. Ricky is also looking for substitute: so with Terry they sniff sharpie markers (Terry has even developed color combos to optimize the high-ation lmao), but it’s not enough for Ricky. they try to snif gas, but since it’s diesel they can’t get high. Terry tells Ricky to get better markers.

-Ricky reveals to the cam he’s talking to a girl through a website or sth dedicated to inmates (and with non-inmates girls responding) and although he wanted to do like the other inmates and take advantage of her at the beginning, he cares for her now. She told him she loves him and Ricky says he has no reason to not believer her (Me, tuttuting with my water in a wineglass, shaking my head, in a Jujubee voice: Oh Ricky...You never learn. Does this mean his relation with Susan is over? I hope so, bc boy their relation was unhealthier than his with Lucy) and she’s coming to visit next week and hey’re gonna bang (I don’t see how’s that’s possible but let’s see). They then sniff glue and inhaled deodorant in paper bags (when I saw the glue’s brush in that pot and before understanding it was glue, I thought it was an anal plug, and that they were gonna take drugs anally, bc that’s a thing due to the capillaries around the anus or sth and bc Ricky and Terry are greasy enough to do that. Glad I was wrong, but we’ll come back to anuses later)

A high Ricky stumbles in Julian’s cell, who explains they need to make more money by selling more TP. Ricky and his genius high brain suggests to augment the number of shits (Ricky the marketing genius, creating demand -and a need- to match the supply). Julian approves and tells him to not get high anymore and not eat anything at the cafeteria today.

Julian talks with the cook and convinces him to put extra stuff in the food to give diarrhea to inmates, in exchange of 100 squares of TP. Meanwhile, high af, Ricky and Terry are snacking on chalk (yep, the ones you write on a chalkboard with)

Bubbles is painting a pair of space boots (pretty sure those are Demonias dipped in glitter in case anyone’s interested by the shoe shape. from my experience, the Demonia quality isn’t always there tho) for RockCon and Randy asks him 5$ for gas for his golfcart, which Bubbles ends up giving, bc randy says how much he misses Lahey and how he has nobody to cheer him up. (but I guess that’s all we’ll have abt Lahey?)

Julian tasks Bubbles of going to the Chinese market and buy spices and ingredients + extra TP (the convenience store is called big Ray lmao). Not managing to read the names of products (in chinese) Bubbles sees a seller and talks to him in “simplified English” and a lot of gestures only to realize the seller understands and speaks perfectly English.

Bubbles then goes with the ingredients to jail to meet Julian. While he’s filling the visit paperwork, Gorilla Fingers approaches him and begins sniffing him, saying he smells like baloney and that is a sexy smell. Obviously, Bubbles is really nervous, and GF doesn’t seem to understand why he’d be nervous. Once Julian has taken what Bubbles has brought, he leaves, without chit-chatting, upsetting Bubbles (I feel for him tbh. so far for the two episodes the boys’ behavior has really upset Bubbles. I’m guessing he will eventually snap)

Then the cook puts the ingredients (spices to make the shitting burn + the laxative) with the food and Julian gets angry at Ricky, Cory and Jacob for eating the food when he told them not to. Ofc Ricky doesn’t remember and finds the food really good/tasty, and hogs everybody’s plate as the cafeteria is emptied of the inmates, running for the toilets.

Ricky (who now has diarrhea) learns that Julian is behind that, gets pissed that his best friends caused the diarrhea epidemics and his asshole to burn, so he takes the TP stock in Julian’s cell and distributes it to other inmates

Then Terry puts some unguent on Ricky’s anus using a hockey stick (and lemme tell you, that little moan Ricky let out? fitting of the greasiest smut Ricky/Julian fanfics. That being said, I didn’t need to see that scene)

Final scene is Julian folding the TP’s squares he managed to salvage and downing the bottle of whatever alcohol substitute he found.

Possible turns of events for the next episodes:

-meeting Ricky’s new “penfriend” and them trying to find how to have sex in jail

-for the larger scheming/smuggling things, Bubbles will bring Randy and cover him in baloney smell so he can distract Gorilla Fingers, enticed by the “sexual” smell. Potentially Randy seducing Gorilla Fingers and convincing him to turn a blnd eye, or reveal some security secrets to the boys so they can better smuggle and stuff

-they should empty a part of the boxing bag to put the hooch there to fermentate, but surrounded with boxing sack padding so it doesn’t break. all they’d need to do would be neutralie the cams the time to empty the sack and put the hooch in a plastic container, and leave it for a few days

Other comments:

-haven’t seen (my babe) Yolanda :(

-love how Bubbles’ smartphone’s screen is always pitch black when he’s talking to the boys

-tbh I’m surprised Ricky knows what a laxative is and how to pronunciate correctly the word

-I didn’t expect to warm up to Terry but I kinda did? I love how sometimes you see him in the background with his headphones on playing air guitar and living his best rocker fantasy and kicking, totally oblivious to what’s going on

-hear ye, hear ye, Julian is now canonically non-straight, comrades!

Have you seen the new tattoos on his left hand? Like have you really SEEEEEEN them? It’s a heart, on his left ring finger, aka the finger where you put the engagement/wedding ring, and it’s colored with (at least) one band of a red-ish color, a yellow middle band and a thrid band in blue-ish color, so it’s either the pan colors or the gay/LGBTQ+ colors. So Julian is a mlm. Don’t believe me? He has a peace and love symbol in rainbow colors on the same hand. C’mon, there’s no way a cishet man would wear these tattoos (on places where everyone can see them all the more!)

still don’t believe me? He has a picture of Madonna in his cell! Afaik cishet dudes aren’t a big demographic in Madonna’s fans