#rock-a-bye-billy

[linnea-ray]

henlo

( @rock-a-bye-billy )

{Linnea's eye goes wide.}

Oh my gods, you're a child. There's a version of you that's a child. Oh gods.

{She clears her throat and speaks louder.}

Hey, little man. What are you doing here?

[thepositivefella]

Okay, but Bill being a picky eater, having "sharp angles," being born with the curse of seeing the world in a way so unique he felt noone else would ever be able to understand him, being taken to doctors who would just make him numb instead of helping him deal with it and being told by his mother everytime he started crying that it's not your fault you are that way even tho she kept referring to it as "his strange eye" is just SO neurodivergent coded I've started crying while reading his lullaby

[robinfollies]

does it matter if we change, does it matter at all? / don’t you worry about me, friend, don’t you worry at all 🌙✨

[lavendarhearts]

My brother came to my room and handed me my dog and said “please take her, she won’t sleep” (it’s 1am and she usually sleeps in my brothers room bc it’s was she prefers) so then I took her, sang Rock A Bye Billy and she started snoozing.

We are canon.

[boybasher]

[biillys]

been flicking between house and er and now i want the billy working at a hospital au's please

[milkymars]

Everything we know about Bill Cipher's past so far

His home was called Euclydia and it was entirely two dimensional. ("Flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams.")

Bill was unique among his people because he had a mutation that allowed him to see the third dimension. This can mean that either a) Euclideans don't have eyes and Bill is the only one who had one or b) if they did have eyes, he literally had a third eye.

Bill's parents were most likely named Scalene and Euclid. Entering either of their names into the computer gives the prompt LIFE FORM NOT FOUND. Bill is stated to only draw red and blue triangles in art therapy, so those were probably their appearances.

From the code JUSTFITIN, you get this colour-coded poem:

Rock a bye billy Please don’t you cry It’s not your fault You have that strange eye Stay safe with mommy You’ll never fall And we’ll always love you Sharp angles and all

Bill says that everyone in Euclydia loved him. However, it's more likely that he was feared because of his mutation and talk of a third dimension. Bill has said numerous times that love and fear are the same, and if you enter WELLWELLWELLBEING into the computer:

Bill's parents took him to a doctor to help suppress his vision of the third dimension. This has been discovered through the codes on the silly straw page:

Fussy eater, baby Billy / Wouldn't drink unless it's silly The doctor says three sips a day / Will make the visions go away Eye doctor of a different kind / Who wants to make his patient blind Twisted out of shape after the kill / The ghosts of his family are haunting him still

Bill is responsible for the Euclidean massacre. Reversed audio on the website says that "the sky is on fire", and when Bill talks about liberating his dimension, his eye shows a fiery landscape too. Though he claims to have liberated them both in Weirdmageddon and the transmission with Time Baby, he is regretful and misses home. If you type in EVENHISLIESARELIES, you get a transcript of one of his sessions in the theraprism.

And from the axolotl's poem in Curse of the Time Pirate's Treasure:

When he tells Ford about his home dimension, he says that it was destroyed by a monster. And when Ford says that he could seek out the monster and get revenge on it, Bill replies: "Sixer, it would eat you alive." Bill also says that if he tries to talk about the day Euclydia was destroyed, there's a loud buzzing in his ears and he blacks out for 30 seconds. Still, he tells others that he freed everyone and that they are grateful for it. Until he gets drunk and starts calling out for his mom, asking her where she went...

[wonderjanga]

Marvel in Unmarvel-like Outfits

I think every now and then Billy would change up whatever he wears as Marvel, and I personally think this would shock the JL the because they didn’t even know the suit could be taken off. Like one day, I can see Billy decked out in full Hawaiian drip:

Flash: “Hey, Cap- woah.”

Billy: *turns around for the first time rocking a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals also Hawaiian printed* “Hey, Flash. Something wrong?

Flash: “Dude, you’re wearing normal clothes.”

Billy: “Yeah…? I am.”

Flash: “But you’ve never worn normal clothes until now! I thought you said the suit didn’t come off.”

Billy: *Remembers he uses that as an excuse to not to go to bars with the others.* “Oh uh… I’m… not… Powered up?”

Flash: “Wait, you can power up? Also wait, this is you powered down??” *gestures to Billy wildly*

Billy: “Yes…?”

Flash: “So you’re telling me, none of that was padding? It was 100 percent muscle?” *Gestures to one of Marvel’s arms*

Billy: “Uh… yeah? Look uh- I gotta go! Bye!” *Speed walks away*

or

Billy went a country fair and was still riding the high of cowboy-ness. So now, he’s wearing cowboy clothes complete with fringe, golden spurs on his boots, and even a bandana. He even went the extra mile and used a lightning lasso. Until he got tired of it and just went back to punching.

He was having his fun but of course someone has to ruin it:

Black Adam: *Flies in from somewhere* “Champion! Show yourself!”

Billy: “Adam.” *Flies up to Teth’s level and tips his cowboy hat to the other man*

Black Adam: *About to monologue about how this is going to be the time he finally beats Billy but then he sees the champion’s clothes* “You imbecile, what are you wearing?”

Billy: “I’m not an imbecile, I’m a cowboy!”

Black Adam: *does the sassiest eye roll* “Sure… Let’s just fight, wretch.”

(People ate this up too. There were like a thousand edits of him with the ‘save a horse, ride a cowboy’ and the ‘hey sexy lady’ and the ‘shake it for me girl’ songs, much to Billy’s horrification)

or

Billy one day magics up a toga, one of those gold leaf crown things, and he even wears sandals. He even decides to speak exclusively Ancient Greek and it makes the Justice League worry little. They send Diana in since she’s the only one who can understand him:

*Billy’s in the kitchen making himself food.*

(Ancient Greek will be in italics)

WW: *knocks on door frame* “Marvel?”

Marvel: “Yeah, Wondy?”

WW: *leans against doorway* “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but the others are worried about you.”

Marvel: *pauses cooking* “Why?”

WW: “Well…” *looks Marvel up and down* “You’re dressed differently, and you’re speaking Greek.”

Marvel: *stares in confusion before he smiles* “Oh, Wondy, don’t worry! This is just a bit. I’ll be done by tomorrow. Promise!” *offers pinky swear*

WW: *sighs* “If you say so.”*does pinky swear with him*

[ishimondosupremacy00]

ROCK-A-BYE BILLY

PLEASE DON'T YOU CRY

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

YOU HAVE THAT STRANGE EYE

STAY SAFE WITH MOMMY

YOU'LL NEVER FALL

AND WE'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

SHARP ANGLES AND ALL.

[nuttersincorporated]

A short comic about a mother who loves her son but worries about thing things he says. He talks about things she doesn’t understand and can’t exist. The doctor says he’s ill and needs medicine.

Image discerptions:

Image 1: a Red Line, a Blue Line and a shorter Yellow Line are under a starry sky. The Red Line says, “I’m worried about our little Billy”

The Blue Line says, “He’s fine! He just has an overactive imagination.”

The Yellow Line says, “Mommy! Look! The stars are so pretty!”

Image 2: The Red Line says: “I hope so but the things he talks about… he really seems to believe them. What if there’s something wrong with his eye?”

The Blue Line says, “I doute it. He can see us just fine, after all. If you’re really worried, we can take him to see the optometrist”

The Yellow Line says, “Up! Up! Up!”

Image 3: A 'Three Days Later' SpongeBob time card

Image 4: The Red and Yellow Lines are now next to each other on a white background.

The Red Line says, “Billy, please. The doctor said it’s to make you better”

The Yellow Line says, “I don’t want to! I don’t want to stop seeing the stars! They are so pretty!”

Image 5: The Red Line says, “I know sweety! But your eye is damaged and the doctor said if you don’t take this medicine, your eye might get worse and make you very ill. Please, I just want you to be healthy”

The Yellow Line is silent

Image 6: The Yellow Line asks, “Can I drink from the silly straw?”

The Red Line says, “Of course you can”

Image 7: From above we see a larger Red Triangle and a smaller Yellow Triangle. There is a purple circle between them and a black wavey line from the circle to the Yellow Triangle.

The Yellow Triangle says, “Yay! Silly!”

Image 8: A ‘Later That Night’ SpongeBob time card

Image 9: A large Red and a large Blue Triangle with a smaller Yellow Triangle upside-down between them.

The Red Triangle sings, “Rock-a-bye Billy Please don’t you cry It’s not your fault You have that strange eye Stay safe with mommy You’ll never fall And we’ll always love you Sharp angles and all”

The Yellow Triangle says, “Silly mommy! Why do you look all fuzzy?”

[tessasalsa3]

rock a bye billy please don’t you cry, it’s not your fault you have that strange eye 👁️

[pinkpunkdotpng]

Haven't seen anyone talk about this yet so

When you type "just fit in" an ad comes up with this frame in it

The decoded message is "rock a bye Billy please don't you cry it's not your fault you have that strange eye stay safe with mommy you'll never fall and well always love you sharp angles and all" :(

[inkwyvern]

Rock a bye Billy,

Please don't you cry,

It's not your fault you have that strange eye,

Stay safe with Mommy,

You'll never fall,

And we'll always love you, sharp angles and all.

So if the theories that Bill's singular eye is unusual for his species is true, that means Bill and Ford were both shunned for their physical abnormalities until they learnt to accept themselves.

Alex Hirsch it's 2024, stop making me feel emotions over a triangle!

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Two

I want to see Max. Billy says it the second they all leave.

Eddie sighs, but makes no attempt to fight it. He pulls the covers back and carefully, slowly, climbs out of bed. His feet are chilly on the linoleum, but socks would be slippery and Eddie just can't risk it, if he falls and busts his ass it could be catastrophic – not that he’d be able to bend to put socks on anyway. Steve has left him a worn old zip up hoodie on the chair – rescued from the trailer – so Eddie grabs that and slips it on, even though it hurts to put his arms back like that, it’s worth it for their chilly journey along the hall. Steve’s already told him that Max is only two doors down, so at least it’s not far. Well, it shouldn’t be that far, but actually it feels like fucking miles and takes what feels like twenty minutes for Eddie to shuffle along the hallway.

Conveniently her name is scribbled on a little board hanging outside her room.

Ready?

Ready.

Eddie opens the door.

Max is lying in bed, the bed is sat up a little, but not much. Below the covers, the casts on her legs look bulky. The ones on her arms sit on top of the covers, her fingers poking out the ends. The kids have drawn all over them.

She turns her head to look at the door. Must have heard them come in.

Something wells up inside Eddie, and he knows it’s Billy, such a strong sense of loss, of longing, relief, it’s a physical weight.

Hi, shitbird. “Hi, shitbird.”

Max makes a noise, tries to sit up, asks desperately, “Billy??” Eddie’s frozen there, for a second, watching as Max tries to struggle up, a lump caught in his throat. She’s blinking, her eyes as white as Chrissie’s were, “Billy please!”

“No, it’s Eddie...but also kind of yes, it’s Billy.”

Eddie closes the door and shuffles across the room, sits down next to Max.

“This is weird.”

No shit. “No shit.”

Max giggles, and Eddie can’t help but laugh with her.

She goes sombre for a second then, “I’m really sorry about the Camaro.”

I completely forgot about the stupid car. Errr...fucking tell her she can pay me back for it. Once she’s up off her ass and gets herself a job.

“He says don’t worry about the car, it doesn’t matter.”

Traitor.

Max snorts, “he definitely didn’t say that.”

Billy snorts a laugh. Uhm, hey, could you ask her...ask her hows Susan? And...Neil?

“He’s asking about Susan and Neil.”

“Oh. Well, after you died they started fighting even more and then eventually, Neil fucked off. They’re divorced now. Had to move out of the place on Cherry Lane. We’re Eddie’s neighbors now.”

She’s better off without him.

I’m not saying that. Eddie steadfastly doesn’t think about how often Susan’s car is gone. He goes not think about all the bottles he sees in their trash.

Tell her I’m glad she’s close to you then, at least.

Eddie schools his expression, trying not to react to that. What’s even worse is that Billy’s being sincere – he’s genuinely glad Eddie has his little sister near by. “He says he’s glad you’re near enough to hear my rocking tunes.”

She rolls her eyes, but Eddie can only tell because she moves her head. “Sure, yeah, listening to you fuck up the same song fifty million times in a row is such a treat.”

“Hey! I nailed it when it counted.”

The door opens then, “oh Max I didn’t realize you had visitors still – oh. Eddie, isn’t it?”

Eddie stands, “yes Ma’am-” Billy snorts, “-just come to keep my favorite neighbor company.” Susan looks exhausted, and as they shuffle past each other, Eddie can clearly smell the tang of alcohol, “Bye, Mrs. Hargrove.”

Mayfield.

“It’s Mayfield again now hon.”

Yeah, good.

What the fuck kind of name is Bilbo Baggins?

Shut up man, let me read.

Wait wait, turn the page back, you read too fast. This shit is confusing. Why are all the names so weird.

Eddie huffs a laugh, “want me to read out loud?”

There’s a moment of reticence that Eddie senses, before, okay.

Part Four

[angeldiarybook]

“𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬“

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐱 𝐬𝐭𝐮

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠:𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠,𝐞𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬!𝐬𝐭𝐮,𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞!𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲,𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 “𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠“ 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫,𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟗𝟎𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧/𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 (I would’ve accepted them😔✋🏼)

𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞:𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐮 ,𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬.𝐬𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡

I walked out the lunch room to see Billy and Stu sitting outside at a lunch table

Stu was grinning and laughing at something as billy shook his head as he held back a smile

I smiled as I approached them

“Hey Billy,hey Stu ” I said

Billy turned his head towards me as Stu shot his head straight at me

they both acknowledged me

Billy cleared his throat

“Hey babe” he said giving me a quick peck on my check as I sat next to him

Stu just gave me a quick ‘hey’ as his whole demeanor changed from laughing his ass off to having a blank look on his face

I don’t understand what the dudes problem is he always acts different when I’m around

He gets quiet and just observes which is very not like him since he talks and jokes a lot

Does he not like me? Does he find me annoying?does he not think I’m good for billy?

He’s such an energetic fun person but his vibe just comes down whenever I’m around

Which upsets me because I don’t know what I’ve done to make him dislike me

I try not to think much of it but it’s always been painfully obvious to me that he doesn’t like me for the time me and Billy have been dating

I brush the feeling off as I pull out some paper sheets

“Look what I got.bam!” I said slamming my 3 test scores that all had A’s on them

“Wow impressive I can see you didn’t sleep while taking your test or fail them unlike Stu ” Billy teased but it can be hard to tell when he’s joking when he talks like he’s always shitty

I shoved him which caused him to grin as Stu awkwardly chuckled

“Are you always a jerk?” I asked

Billy shrugged as his hand rested on my thigh

“I wasn’t being a jerk I was just stating that Stu failed the test that you passed” he said as he plopped a grape in his mouth

I rolled my eyes at his Statement

“Thanks buddy” Stu said cheekily and sarcastically

“One day when you get your shit rocked for being rude and weird I’m not going to do anything about it” I told billy as he snorted

*ring*

The bell rang

“You still coming to Stu’s party tomorrow?” Billy asked me

“Yeah most likely I don’t think I’m doing anything tomorrow I just gotta study today” I said

“Alright I’ll see you later” Billy said as he kissed me on the lips

As Billy’s lip were pressed against mine I felt some pair of eyes staring dead at us

I took a glance look to see Stu staring at us

In a strange way I couldn’t explain

As if he loathed me

It felt unsettling…

As I pulled away from the kiss

Billy gave me a quick bye as we he parted ways with Stu

I started walking to my next class

But I couldn’t help but to look back

I stared directly at Stu’s tall figure as I furrowed my brows

*after school*

I stretched in my chair and groaned

Ughh finally damn

I just finished studying

I better pass that damn class

I started zoning out

For some reason Billy’s beautiful features popped up in my mind

I started missing him

Maybe I should surprise him

We haven’t really hung out with each other in a while

He’s always with Stu

Which I don’t mind that’s his best friend and it’s not like I’m a controlling girlfriend who’s going to stop him from seeing his friends

I just miss him

I got up,put my sneakers on,and started making my way towards Billy’s house

I made my way to the front door and was about to knock

But before I could Billy’s dad opened the front door

He gave me a confused face as I looked surprised by his presence

He looks like a wolf to me…

“Oh hi Mr.loomis is Billy home?” I asked

“Yes ___ he’s in his room with Stu” Mr.loomis said as he made his way out the door and allowed me to come in

“Oh okay thanks” I said as he gave me a ‘mhm’ as he walked to his car in his suit

Of course he’s going to work

As he drove off I mumbled ‘bitch’ under my breath

I really don’t like Billy’s dad

He just gives me a strange vibe

I made my way towards Billy’s room

But kept my distance as it sounded like he was arguing with someone

Is he fighting with Stu?

“I just want an explanation” Stu said frustratedly

“What explanation Stu?” Billy asked annoyed

“Why are you so afraid of us being together?” Stu said

What..?

“Who said I’m afraid?” Billy responded

“Am I just not your type?” Stu asked

“What are you on about Stu” Billy asked clearly not happy

“if I was pretty like ___ and a girl like her you would date me wouldn’t you?” Stu said

As Billy groaned

I completely froze

What the hell is going on

“Why is ___ always brought up in these meaningless points you try to make ” Billy stated more then asking

“Why do we have to be kept a secret but you’re able to date ___ publicly” Stu said upset

my eyes widen

“How come you never complained about any of my past girlfriends or me and you being together in secret but now all of a sudden it’s a problem that I’m dating ___?” Billy asked annoyed and mad

“Because it’s obvious you actually like her unlike your past girlfriends…” Stu said

“So you’re jealous of her” Billy stated bluntly

Stu scoffed

“Now you’re just being a dick” Stu said

“I’m not but you clearly feel some type of negative way against my girlfriend simply because I give her the slightest bit of attention it just shows you see her as a ‘threat’ between us” Billy said

“Well how do you think I’m supposed to feel when you’re never honest” Stu said

Billy looked at him confused

“You say you love me but all you care about is using me to get your revenge” Stu said bluntly to Billy

As Billy groaned

“You got to be kidding me.Don’t try to pull that shit don’t act like you’re fucking innocent you don’t even have a motive you’re doing it for the fun and thrill of it.you’re just as bad as me.you gave in so quickly when I asked you if you wanted to join me so don’t fucking act as if I guilt tripped you or gas lit you.you’re not a victim Stu” Billy said really bluntly with a gruff

Stu looked down to his lap like a wounded puppy

“I think I should go” Stu said vividly not happy

Billy sighed

“Don’t” Billy Said with a much calmer voice yet it still felt rough

“Well what’s the point of me staying if we’re just going to argue” Stu said

Before Stu could sit up from Billy’s bed

Billy harshly grabbed Stu’s jaw and started kissing him very roughly as Stu passionately kissed him back

What..the..fuck..

I was finally able to move

My heart beated rapidly

I quickly made my way out the house as sneakily as I could

I was scared for my life that they would hear me

I shut the front door as quietly as I could

I successfully shut it and as soon as the door locked

I sprinted

I ran as fast as I could to my house

I was scared of what Billy might have done if he caught me or found out that I found out he’s cheating on me with Stu

I know how violent Billy can get when he’s upset

Which is something he never hid from me

Who knows what he’s capable of

I had so many questions running through my head

How long have they been a secret for?

Is he too scared to tell me he’s gay?

Does he actually like me or just using me?

What revenge was Stu talking about ?

And What motive?

I’m hurt but I’m more confused then hurt

Well atleast now I know why Stu doesn’t like me

It’s because he’s in a secret relationship with my boyfriend

Or am I just in a public relationship with his boyfriend?

At this point I don’t even fucking know

It’s not like I would judge them I just don’t like being lied to and used

My stomach twisted

As if I was about to barf

His disloyalty and manipulating self made me sick

It’s obvious Stu doesn’t care how I feel or if I get hurt yet I feel bad because he loves Billy enough to be getting used like that

But I know whatever “plan” or “revenge” they have going on Stu is doing that by choice

And it scares the shit out of me

What am I going to do…

Guys imma make a part 2 of reader confronting one of them 👀trust BUT do y’all wanna see a Stu pov of him loathing/envying reader and his toxic secret relationship with Billy?🤨😔 let me know yall

Stu’s just fake asf to us in this fic 🙄

[butchersboobs]

Twist (Part Two)

A Billy Butcher POV fic

You may need more tissues.

NSFW under the cut- MDNI

READ PART ONE HERE

-------------

I musta been 'ere at least three hours now, an' I swear t'God - that boy ain't stopped bombin' about once. 

'Appy little chappy, 'e is. Always yappin' and gigglin' away - eyes bright as a bloody summer’s day. 

For someone 'oo's never played a game wiv a kid before today, I don't fink I'm doin' too bad. I've bin chasin' the little bugger 'ere, there 'n every-bloody-where for the last 'alf hour, makin' 'im laugh wiv me ridiculous dinosaur noises - an' I'm fuckin' knackered. But the way 'e looks at me - like e's 'avin the best day of 'is life? Bloody'ell. Even completely fuckin' knackered feels good. Real good.

And then you walk in.

You stand there in the doorway, arms crossed tight across yer chest. And you got that fuckin' look on yer face - one I know all too bloody well. The one that says yer about firty seconds away from bustin' me bollocks over summink that's narked ya.

The whole room suddenly feels off, some'ow. Like ya sucked all the warmth and joy out the place the second ya stepped frew that door.

"Alright, Ollie, time to tidy up now," you say. Christ - even yer voice is stone cold. I bet you've been sat frew there plannin' whatever this is gonna turn into all afternoon, aintcha. Some fings never change.

Ollie’s face falls straight away. E's confused, poor lad. 'E looks up atcha like ya just told 'im Christmas is cancelled. "But me an' Billy playin’, Mummy. Five more minutes pleeease?" he asks, bless'im, holdin' five fingers up.

But you don’t care. Ya don’t even blink. "No - not today. Billy’s got to go. It’s time to go get your jarmies on. Now please, Oliver."

What the fuck ya bein' like this for? We were  'avin a whale of a time, me 'n 'im - five more minutes won'urt, surely? Are ya really that fuckin' desperate to take 'im away from me again? Jesus Christ. No need to upset the boy like this, f'fucksake.

"Can Billy come play t'morrow?" he asks, 'is bottom lip wobblin', tears in 'is eyes..

I'm about to say 'Yeah, I'd like that..' when you let me 'ave it - both fuckin' barrels.

"Billy’s a very busy man, baby. We won't see him again after today. So let's say byebye, and then get ready for bed, yeah? There's a good boy…"

Me stomach drops. The fuck you just say? I can't believe you actually just fuckin' said that. And ya never even flinched.

I can’t fuckin' fink straight. 

I just watch Ollie, me 'eart breaking. 'E runs over, wraps 'is tiny arms round me legs and just sobs. "B….bab-bye, b..Billy."

I bend down 'n pick my beautiful little boy up - little fing's light as a fevva. And I 'old 'im close t'me. I don' ever wanna let 'im go. I rub 'is back, rock 'im gently for a minute or two.

I kiss the top of is 'ead, 'n I tell 'im "There then, s'alright mate - don't you worry yerself, right? Don't you cry. We've 'ad a lovely day playin', ain't we, ay? I've never 'ad so much fun in me life! Now, listen t'me, yeah - I promise ya, I'll come back 'n see ya as soon as I can, right? You're a good lad, Oliver. Now, can you do me a favour and go play in your room, yeah? Put them dinosaurs to bed. Billy needs to 'ave a little chat wiv yer mum, OK? There's a good boy." 

I set 'im down, an' off he mopes, all dejected.

And when 'e's gone upstairs, summink inside me snaps.

I can’t 'old it back no more. The rage. I fuckin' can’t. 

Me fists are clenched that tight I can feel me knuckles turning white. 

I’ve been patient. Kept me fuckin' mouth shut in front o'the kid.

But now - I’m fuckin done. 

Done wiv you, ya fuckin' bitch.

"'Appy now, ya spiteful cunt? Some fuckin'   muvva you are. Fuck me…"

"I won't be happy 'til you get the fuck out of my house and away from MY fucking son, Billy…'

“Are you fuckin' stupid or summink? You seriously thought I’d just show up 'ere, play wiv'im for an hour, and then just fuck off like it’s no big deal?” Me fuckin' anger's still spirallin'. "You really believe that’s all I fuckin' came 'ere for?"

You just stand there, all defensive. Fuckin' arms crossed again, like you’re waitin' for me to apologise for givin' a shit about me own kid. You got some fuckin' nerve, girl, after everyfin you've done.

"You knew what this was," you say, all calm and collected, as if I’m the one in the fuckin' wrong. "You just wanted a chance to meet him properly. That's what you got. And now, you can fuck off."

I can feel the blood rushin' to me 'ead.

Fuckin'ell. 

"Yeah, I said that, didn’t I?" I snarl atcha,  steppin' closer, not even givin' you an inch. "And now, I’ve changed me mind. I ain't fuckin’ goin’ anywhere. You fink ya can stop me seein' 'im, do ya? Fink that's your fuckin' decision t'make?"

You keep yer gob shut for a fuckin' change, probly finking ya got some kinda power 'ere, some kinda control. But you fuckin' ain't. Not no more.

"You can kick off all ya fuckin' like," I yell, takin' another step toward ya. "But you ain’t keepin' my son from me. You fucking 'ear me?"

And then I see it. You’re scared. 

You're tryin' ya best to 'ide it, but I can see it in yer eyes. 

You fink I’m gonna back off, dontcha, ay? Fink I’m just blowin' steam. Well, I fuckin' ain't, I can promise you that, love.

"Who the fuck d'ya fink you are, ay? You fink ya can keep me out 'is life, like I don’t fuckin' matter? He's my fuckin' son! An' i'm fuckin' tellin' ya now - you ain't fuckin’ walkin' away wiv 'im again. Not now, not ever. Do you fuckin' understand me?"

Your face twists. You’re angry now. But I don’t give a fuck.

I ain't fuckin' interested in anyfin' you gotta say right now. I can't even bear to be in the same fuckin' room as ya. So off I fuck. I'm so fuckin' mad I pretty much rip yer fuckin' door off, just openin' it. I stand in the doorway and look back over me shoulder.

“I’ll be back to see the boy again, very soon.” I tell ya, tone bitin', venomous. "And God fuckin' 'elp you if you try t'stop me."

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