#rocio cares about power only insofar as it allows them to not have to deal with the difficulty of day to day life

[vonkarma2]

desire and future for rocio?

asks from november 2023 let’s go

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

Ok keeping it brief (lie). We have another instance of the character that wants to transcend humanity motivation <3 She started out having a vague longing for that concept in general, viewing it as possible through learning magic and just having access to the mysterious force lurking beneath the surface of the world– it would set her apart from normal humans, and that would be enough. Unfortunately, this not only failed to address many of the physical and social problems she was facing, but also forced her into various political situations she had no understanding of or patience for so everything became a lot more stressful if anything.

 She doesn’t really care about power, she cares about finding a form of existence that’s comfortable and easy and alienated from others, and just chose the “becoming god” brand because it was 1) readily available 2) matched with her personal interests and preferences. She also projects this desire onto other people, believing (like many wizards do in this setting) she had accessed the fundamental truths of human nature that ordinary people can’t grasp. Genuinely believing it would be better if everyone could dissolve into the force of magic oh christ this is just evangelion

It’s kind of funny to me that her current goal is both integral to her character and in a sense has always been part of her, but the specifics of it are relatively new. Like she was like sure I will dedicate my life to going to dimension 2 and killing gabriel nothing else matters nothing is important at all i will do this and die trying. Like 20 minutes after reading a conveniently placed journal about a guy who got lost in that dimension and died

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

Not only are they not taking steps to avoid it, I think the worst possible future is precisely what they’re actually chasing 😭ok well straight up committing suicide would probably be worse + that is something they’re aware of. The possibility of giving up on life to that extent really scares them because they’ve always had the goal of becoming a wizard + learning magic to drive them forward and are scared of the emptiness they would feel if they ever lost touch with those things. Similarly I think they are subconsciously hoping the people around them will hold them back, give them a reason to stay living among others. This is a little more unlikely when you are pushing people away though LOL, and in the end she is the only person that can save herself. (The perception of death is ofc very different in this universe, it’s not like she would just disappear; but it is seen as throwing this life and this identity away and leaving everything behind).

But yeah achieving their goal would definitely be the bad ending. In the world of the story, because it’s, like, a metaphor, the average human mind can’t really handle that kind of strain, so the position of godhood is not “knows all and sees all” or even “your sense of self is completely obliterated in the face of the cosmos”, just that you’re alone and scared and isolated and barely understand your own senses, while your instinctive emotional reactions wreak havoc on the people living in your realm. And it’s overstimulating. So it doesn’t have much in common with the vision of cosmic peace Rocio was hoping for, while also basically killing her + entirely separating her from those who care about her forever.