#roc alpin

[jt1674]

[acrosstobear]

MICK SCHUMACHER applies a Ken Block tribute sticker to his helmet at the 2023 Race of Champions (via @.travispastrana on IG Stories)

[diagnozabam]

Volkswagen T-Roc Cabriolet, Cea Mai Vândută Decapotabilă Accesibilă în Europa în Prima Jumătate a Anului 2024

În prima jumătate a anului 2024, Volkswagen T-Roc Cabriolet a câștigat titlul de cea mai vândută decapotabilă accesibilă în Europa. Construit pe platforma modelului Golf, T-Roc este un crossover compact care include și o variantă decapotabilă, similar cu ceea ce a oferit anterior Range Rover Evoque. Performanțele de Vânzare Conform cifrelor furnizate de Dataforce și raportate de Motor1,…

[lovelytsunoda]

a thousand miles // mick schumacher

summary: searching for life after f1, the race of champions may just have the answer mick needs, in the form of a shy former w series driver who is just as lost as he is

pairing: mick schumacher x female driver!reader

warnings: mentions of guenther steiner/haas, karaoke, matchmaker val returns! corinna the icon is also trying to get her son to go on a date, one small joke about crashing a rally car.

author's note: @magnummagnussen told me this was a terrible idea. i beg to differ : )

the swedish sunlight bounced off the snowdrifts outside of the ski lodge, illuminating the inside of the dining hall where the drivers milled about and socialized, bright smiles on their faces.

mick saw her first.

he was locked in conversation with seb, his eyes catching her just out of the corner of his line of sight, hair braided messily over one shoulder, wearing skinny jeans and a hoodie for a band he's never heard of, a pom pom hat with the race of champions logo on it as she nervously clutched a breakfast tray and tried to figure out where to sit.

normally, she would have sat with jamie chadwick, but the brit had decided to go for an early run, and had left the other former w series driver alone.

it was valtteri who noticed the young german driver's wandering eyes first. with a smile and a sip of his espresso, he waved the young woman over, enjoying the look of panic on mick's face.

"valtteri!" mick hissed. "why would you do that!?"

"because you've been miserable since abu dhabi and you need to let loose a little bit."

mick couldn't exactly protest. since learning that he had been dropped from the haas formula one team just hours before the qualifying session for the last race of the season was due to start, there had been a hole in his heart, something that he couldn't patch up.

but he knew that a short lived roc fling was the last thing that would help him out.

"hi." she said sofltly her voice like music to mick's ears. "can i sit with you guys? jamie kind of left me high and dry this morning."

sebastian smiled, ever the gentleman as he motioned towards the free seat next to him.

the free seat that also happened to be next to a certain young schumacher.

"i'm y/n y/l/n, i used to drive in the w series for quantfury. i'm felipe's teammate for all star team this weekend." she introduced herself as she picked at the paper wrapper on her double chocolate muffin, an untouched mug of hot chocolate and whipped cream on the other end of the tray.

"mick schumacher, fellow racing reject." mick joked nervously, reaching out to shake the young woman's hand. "formerly of the haas formula one team and the ferrari driver's academy. now proudly driving reserve for mercedes."

"i'm technically a part of the alpine young driver's programme, but it's not like they've done any work at getting me closer to driving an f1 car. not that i blame them, all of otmar and laurent's efforts were on the piastri thing this season."

"technicalities only matter in this sport when the fia get what they want." seb hummed. "i'm-"

"sebastian vettel, racing legend!" y/n gushed. "i'm like, a huge fan. i grew up watching you on the telly, i had a poster of you at red bull hanging up in my room. this is so fucking surreal, dude. heck, i walked past mika hakkinen earlier and thought i was going to cry."

the rest of the table laughed. "mick was like that when he was here last year." seb said fondly. "i think everybody is like that when they come here for the first time."

"mika fucking hakkinen, man."

seb and val shared a look before looking back over at mick.

they knew.

the boy was smitten already.

--------

the press conference took place at exactly noon, and as was typical of the roc, most of the scheduled drivers were late.

it's not that y/n was late on purpose. but she was horrifically lost inside the chalet and had been turned around four or five different time trying to find her way to the conference room, overheating in her race suit in the warm chalet.

the directions were loaded on her phone, but she still felt like it was a lost cause as she rolled up the sleeves of deep blue nomex material, leaning her head against the wall to take a few deep breaths.

everything was fine. everything was okay. she was safe.

she heard voices coming from her left, and her heart skipped a beat.

the press conference. she had found it.

she rushed inside, trying to duck out of view of the cameras as she scurried to the table at the front of the room. catching her eye from the distance, mick waved at her, a small smile on her face that was enough to put a matching smile on her own as she took a seat in between the german and her teammate, felipe drugovich.

"where have you been?" felipe asked quietly.

she shook her head, unwilling to admit that she had gotten lost. "don't worry about it."

"so nice of you to join us, miss y/l/n." one of the reporters said, the young driver snapping to attention and reaching for the desktop microphone, fumbling with it and trying not to knock it over. "with the w series seemingly ended permanently, what's next for you after this weekend?"

"i'm still trying to make my 2023 plans." she said softly, the microphone barely catching her soft voice. she had always hated media commitments. "obviously an f3 place is out of the question right now, and it's pretty obvious that i'm too old for all that now, so i've been looking into these one-off racing opportunities and tests so that i can find out what i want to do in 2024."

she felt her throat get tighter, the sweat forming on the back of her neck as she nervously reached one black polished fingernail to brush an errant strand of hair from her bun to the space behind her ear.

"hey." mick said softly, nudging her in the side. "you're doing great."

she took a deep breath before flashing mick a smile as she continued talking.

"i've got a few races lined up with the nascar xfinity series down in the united states, and i'm really looking forward to it. racing in america has a completely different vibe to it, you know?"

--------

the next time mick saw y/n, he was with his mother, testing out the rally car during the free practice session.

she was impossible to miss, her screams of delight carrying over the wind and followed up by laughter as the car caught air going over a hill.

it was enough to make the boy freeze behind the wheel, corinna giving him a knowing look.

"what's her name, mickie?" corinna said with a smile, pulling out her phone, no doubt to see who her son was so infatuated with.

"y/n y/l/n." mick said softly. "but i dont know her that well, mom."

"oh, she's pretty!" corinna beamed, pulling up the driver's instagram profile. "look, she's a perfect fit for you, she's quiet and she's shy and she doesn't go to parties!"

"mom, i swear to god i will crash this car and make you walk back to the chalet yourself!"

mick rolled his eyes, turning his head back to the windshield as he took a sharp corner around the track. it's not that he hadn't thought about y/n since the presser. he thought she was sweet, and he would deny it if asked, but he looked forward to seeing her and knew that when life went back to normal after roc, that he would miss her.

"you don't have anything to lose, mick. what's the harm in even just going for a coffee with her or something? i'm not telling you to marry the girl, but at least give romance a chance."

the german would think about his mother's words all day: through his time in the sauna, to the ice bath and then again at dinner. the thoughts would eventually keep him awake at night, unable to fall asleep while wrapped in the hotels luxury down bedding.

he found himself wandering the chalet at odd hours of the night, lost in his own thoughts as he meandered towards the coffee machine in the lobby. if he was going to stay awake, he might as well stay warm as well.

the chalet doors slid open, and mick's breath caught in his throat as he watched her stride into the lobby, wearing a different beanie hat but the same one ok rock hoodie she had been wearing when he eyed her for the first time, a puffy tan jacket pulled over the entire ensemble and a plastic bag for a swedish supermarket hanging from her arm.

"mick!" she shouted, face bright as she crossed the lobby. "couldn't sleep?"

the boy shrugged, trying to play it cool even though his palms were sweaty and his heart was racing and was she always this pretty? was that mole on her upper lip always there?

"come on, let me introduce you to my favorite pre-race ritual." she beamed, pulling a bag of edible pilsbury cookie dough from the bag, along with two metal spoons clearly stolen from the breakfast buffet.

mick couldn't help but laugh. "how has your performance coach not killed you yet?"

"what she doesn't know won't kill her. who is she to rob me of life's greatest pleasures?"

pinching himself to make sure that he wasn't dreaming, mick followed the driver back to her hotel room. her energy was magnetic, and mick couldn't help but be drawn in.

they settled on the plush bed, shrouded in blankets as she overturned the shopping bag, allowing it's contents to fall to the blanket.

"so, this is what i watch when it's been a long day, or if i don't have the mental energy to focus on anything else." she said with a cheeky smile as she popped open her laptop. "when i was in the w series, it was juju noda who got me hooked on the really cheesy j-dramas. i already watched the darker asian dramas, like the psychological thrillers and everything, but it was juju who got me hooked on the romance ones when we watched coffee and vanilla."

she clicked onto disney plus, waiting for it to lead as she opened the canister of cookie dough in her hand. after the screen loaded, she navigated her cursor over to an orange thumbnail.

"this is yakuza lover: romance and bullets. and yes, it's as mind-numbing as it sounds."

they watched a few episodes, exchanging bites of cookie dough and popping open bottles of flavored sparkling water as the characters on the screen kept digging themselves into holes they couldn't get out of.

"do they not take one look at the dialogue and go 'what the fuck is going on here'?" mick asked quizzically, staring at the fictional yakuza boss on the screen. "like, seriously? and she finds that even remotely attractive?"

"it reads like a bad wattpad novel, and that's enough for me when i don't want to think about anything." y/n laughed, shoveling another spoonful of cookie dough into her mouth. "either that or i watch a concert film or something. i live for live music. hate parties, but i'll go to a good concert any day. that's why i liked racing, you know? not for the fame or the money, but for the travel, the means to an end."

her eyes went wide, and mick was captivated, hanging on to her every word.

"have you heard of one ok rock? probably not, since you didn't mention it when you saw my sweater earlier, but they have this one really good concert film from when they played yokohama stadium, it's called mighty long fall. i saw them live in 2018 on the 'ambitions' tour, so that's a good film as well if you can find it, but mighty long fall is one of my favourite live concerts like ever."

mick was struggling to follow everything, as she seemed to have talked without even breathing, her fingers flying across they keyboard as she searched for 'mighty long fall' on youtube.

he was well and truly smitten with her as she loaded the concert, seemingly skipping to a particularly important part.

"this has to be one of my favoruite songs they've ever done, and it's not even theirs."

mick would have recognized the piano arrangement anywhere. anybody born before two thousand and five would have. the japanese band on the screen was playing an acoustic rendition of 'a thousand miles' by vanessa carlton.

"making my way downtown, walking fast, faces past and i'm homebound."

she was singing off key, but that seemed to be the point as she threw her head back and forth, her hair flying everywhere as she beamed, singing into the metal spoon as if it was a karaoke microphone.

"come on, schumacher. i know you know the words!" she laughed, mick laughing along with her as his face turned pink. "sing it with me!"

and when she looked at him like that, what else was he supposed to do?

---------

and just as quickly as it began, the race of champions weekend was officially over.

gathered in the warm den of the chalet, the drivers milled about and chatted among themselves, jazz music playing in the background as a warm fire crackled in the hearth.

y/n and felipe had placed second in the nations cup as the all-star team, and she seemed to glow from the happiness of the somewhat victory as she stood off to the side with both her teammate and jamie chadwick.

mick couldn't help himself, staring at her with a lovestruck gaze from the other side of the room, where he stood with sebastian and valtteri. mick and y/n had grown infinitely closer over the course of the weekend, but mick hadn't had the courage to ask for her phone number, or to properly take her out on a date.

and soon, he'd lose those chances for good.

"the way i see it, you don't have anything to lose." seb suggested, clapping the younger man on the shoulder. "the worst that could happen is that you made a new friend, who doesn't want to be more than that."

"why not just accept things as they are?" mick whined. "the weekend is almost over anyways!"

"it's never too late for a romantic gesture." valtteri suggested, nodding his head towards where a karaoke machine had been set up by team norway earlier in the night.

and that's when mick knew what he needed to do. with seb and val's help, he managed to get everything rigged, set up and ready to go.

when the music started playing, she knew that it was meant for her, all conversation stopping at that piano arrangement as she stopped to look at the german, hands nervously gripping the microphone as he began to sing.

"making my way downtown, walking fast, faces past and i'm homebound."

jamie broke out into a grin, turning to look the the other female driver. "there's no other person this could possibly be meant for. how did he know you're emotionally attached to this song?"

despite herself, y/n found that she was also starting to sing quietly under her breath.

"staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making a way through the crowd."

felipe nudged her in the side. "go on. you're not going to get another chance."

trying to stop the uncontrollable blush on her face, she kept her eyes cast down as she made her way to where mick was standing. sebastian gave the duo a knowing look as mick wordlessly passed y/n the microphone, shy smiles on both of their faces.

"if i could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by? 'cause you know i'd walk a thousand miles if i could just see you tonight."

neither of them realized how close to each other they had gotten, barely a foot of space between their bodies, faces blushing bright pink as the lyrics faded out to the instrumental.

"mick-" she said softly.

"you don't have to say anything. not right now, not right here. just kiss me."

and that's exactly what she did, the room erupting into cheers as mick's soft lips met hers. she dropped the microphone, feedback echoing around the room as mick held her, both parties smiling into the kiss before mika hakkinen came running over the grab the fallen mic.

"will you go on a date with me?" mick asked, lips swollen and shyness in his tone. "like, a real one this time?"

"yes, mick." she giggled. "of course i will."

Tags: @scuderiamh @libraryofloveletters @magnummagnussen @sidcrosbyspuck

[lostfunzones]

Catherine RIBEIRO + ALPES - Roc Alpin

[schumigrace]

woah those signatures! how many drivers have you met?🤯

the merc and mclaren driver cards are from goodwood, I have kind of met Lando but only briefly said hello and didn't stop him for a signature or anything as he was busy

I met Mick, Seb, DC, Valtteri, Jamie Chadwick and Mika Hakkinen at ROC last year.

Este, the Alpine academy drivers, Charles, Pierre and Kimi Antonelli I met in Monaco last year. and then I briefly met Nando at the aston launch this year :):):):)

[racingliners]

F1 2022 Re-Watch: Round 4 - Emilia Romagna 

Alrightly besties I’m back shouting about races that happened months ago!! (We can thank the ROC brain rot for reminding me to carry on with this). If you have no idea what’s going on you can re-read my previous post here)

All I really remember from this one is that Seb got his first points finish of the year (P8, woo!). So, on we go!

Fingers crossed I’m on the international feed this time

Unrelated I also have popcorn

Anyway F1 intro

(do do dododo do do dooooooo)

I am on the international feed 🥳 (hi Crofty!)

(ugh remember when Ferrari were leading both championships 😭)

wet/damp start???? I do not remember this whatsoever 

Seb in... P13. I’ll take it. (we get Sewis on the grid though!!)

ugh this was a sprint race weekend. ew.

iirc we’re gonna get some broken tifosi hearts today 😑

[Start/Lap 1]: Yup, Ferraris somewhat trounced at the start

oop Dan on Sainz turn 1 violence.

SEB INTO P9 THAT’S MY BOY!!!!!

aaaaand Safety Car

daaaamn Lando’s start was zoomy

[Lap 2]: Kevin??? in P5???? Viking power & midfield stay winning

Aston Martin safety car my beloved!!!

Teeeeeeed!!!! (I will always endure the rest of the Sky team for Ted)

[Lap 5]: SEB GOT PAST NANDO, THAT’S MY BOY

(insert quote from Abu Dhabi about how Fernando and Seb have always raced each other)

Seb in P8 🥰🥰🥰

Fernando racing Seb and Lewis on the same day, did we briefly go back to 2012?

[Lap 6]: Oh shit that’s a big hole in Alonso’s sidepod 😬

The Alpine said ‘fuck this shit I’m out’

[Lap 8]: The parallel of the Tifosi groans on lap 1 to the cheers when Charles got past Lando

Also, Imola actually seems like a good track. Not bad addition to the calendar (unlike all the new street circuits 😭)

[Lap 9]: Oof that Merc porpoising is bad

That’s a very ominous looking rain radar ngl

[Lap 11]: Kevin channelling his inner Gandalf with Russell

[Lap 12]: Val getting the popcorn out watching Kevin v George

The midfield once again providing the bulk of the entertainment. We thank you for your service.

[Lap 13]: Class zero to one rain???? What does that mean??? McLaren explain????

Seb sighting!!

Back to weather jargon, what the fuck is class zero rain?? a drop??? the weird misty rain that just makes everything damp. I need to know.

[Lap 15]: The inters are not having fun it seems. Make better tyres Pirelli.

Livery watch: Aston Martin preeeeeeetty 💚

[Lap 16]: Thank you Crofty for remembering that Imola is home race no 1 for Alpha Tauri too

(Yes, I am a midfield stan in case this wasn’t clear)

f1blr 🤝 Sky F1: roasting the FIA for their decisions

[Lap 18]: Seb in the pits for slicks 👀

pls don’t rain pls don’t rain pls don’t rain

[Lap 19]: And you pit for slicks, and you pit for slicks, everyone pits for slicks!!

Lewis on Esteban pitlane violence?????

Ferrari could have brought in Charles at the same time as Perez, but they didn’t. I’m having bad flashbacks. 

[Lap 20]: ayyyyyyy Seb P7!!!!

Alex got past Lewis???? I did not have Williams overtaking a Merc on my 2022 bingo

ew no don’t go to Horner I don’t want to hear his opinion on anything

[Lap 22]: We still don’t have DRS??? wild

the racing has been decent though

[Lap 25]: Lewis P14. Ouch 😔

[Lap 29]: Missing - Ferrari’s straight line speed. If found please return to Maranello

[Lap 32]: Also Missing - DRS. Please return to the FIA ASAP.

ugh, the race was fun when it was damp. It’s now a bit dull. Past half distance at least.

DRS RETURNETH!! 🥳🥳🥳

aww Mama Gasly. 

[Lap 38]: Toto sighting!!

Ted bringing up Seb unprompted. Big mood.

[Lap 41]: Verstappen lapping Lewis. pain.

[Lap 44]: Shit’s bad when Charles is asking about Plan D.

[Lap 48]: Yuki getting into P8!! good for him!!

no wait don’t get past Seb

ah shit is this how Seb drops from 7th to 8th?

Seb praise on comms though we love to hear it

[Lap 50]: Charles in the pits. Is this Plan D or E? 

ohhh the old ‘pit for the sofest tyres to get the fastest lap’ trick. nevermind.

asdfghjkl Red Bull pitting Perez to do the exact same thing. F1 is a Serious Sport™️.

Oh they’re pitting Verstappen too. alright then.

[Lap 52]: Oh damn Charles has caught up to Perez maybe Ferrari weren’t clowning.

[Lap 53]: Yuki has indeed caught up to Seb. by P7 you were wonderful while it lasted.

[Lap 54]: SHIT CHARLES SPUN WHAT

ohhhhhhhh no

Well, my memory didn’t fail me. We did get some tifosi heartbreak.

big oof at that replay.

[Lap 56]: Meanwhile Lewis still can’t get past Pierre.

[Lap 57]: Potential Bottas on Russell violence? 👀

5 Laps left. Perhaps my popcorn was a good idea.

[Lap 59]: And Charles gets past Seb. nvm.

Light rain at the last two laps????? Mum can you pick me up I’m scared. 

Livery watch: I’m begging McLaren to have less black and more papaya on the livery this year.

[Lap 62]: I’m not seeing any rain. Are we safe??? I feel like I’m being lulled into a false sense of security.

oop, Charles into P6

[Lap 63/Finish]: I had legit forgotten about Verstappen after he lapped Lewis ngl.

Lando P3!! Good for him!

Damn Russell just kept P4

SEB P8 FIRST POINTS OF THE YEAR HELL YEAH!!!!!

Double AM points finish too we love to see it.

Well, that was def a better race than Aus, despite the really dull middle section when there was no DRS. Still made I completely forgot that it was a damp/dry race, the opening laps were probably my highlight. The Russell/Bottas battle was v fun to watch even though they kept their positions. Overall, 7 and a half front wings out of 10. Up next... Miami 😶

[theam-cjsw]

The AM: May 27, 2024

Just a regular ol' episode of The AM, the first in a few that isn't a showfill or anniversary. Enjoy a mix of brand-new tunes, lost classics, and international obscurities, from a groovy Devo cover to municipal planning-inspired analog electronics to thundering Canadian psych-rock.

Listen on CJSW.com

Streaming links and tracklist are after the break.

Hour One:

Wild Light Helios, Hollie Kenniff • Single

Found Objects Buildings and Food • Echo the Field

A Shared Sense of Purpose Warrington Runcorn New Town Development Plan • A Shared Sense of Purpose

Old Reeds Group Listening • Walks

Birds in Winter Libra Rising • Every New Moon

Veil (Reprise) NETRVNNER • Final Frontier

Kite Corker/Conboy • In Light Of That We Learned Later

A Dazzling Ode to Sun, Sand, and Surf Orange Crate Art • Taking Liberties: The Pop​-​Art World of John Van Hamersveld

The Loops (Grief) Tony Njoku • Last Bloom

X is closer to A Kessoncoda • Outerstate

Skater Four Tet • Three

Hour Two:

Through Being Cool The Rare Sounds • Introducing: The Rare Sounds

Thema Maboneng Abacothozi • Thema Maboneng

Juan’s World BADBADNOTGOOD • Mid Spiral: Order

Headcleaner Jeffrey Silverstein • Roseway

Roc alpin Catherine Ribeiro + Alpes • Paix

Jusqu'à ce que la force de t'aimer me manque Catherine Ribeiro + Alpes • Paix

Lost in the Woods (Paranoid) Project Gemini • Colours & Light

Distant Dream Magic Fig • Magic Fig

Feline Wave Race Nap Eyes • Single

K9 Freaks Mix (Freak Heat Waves Remix) La Sécurité • Stay Safe! REMIXED

Hour Three:

Go To Sleep Blume • Go To Sleep​/​Passes Me By

Four Leaf Clover Color Green • Fool's Parade

The Coward Astral Swans, featuring Julie Doiron • Single

My Way Crystal Eyes • The Female Imagination

Faded (original cassette version) The Cat's Miaow • Skipping Stones: The Cassette Years ‘92​-​’​93

Far Away from You Sachiko Kanenobu • Misora

Take Me Where I Ain’t Scott McMicken and the Ever-Expanding • When It's Happening

New World (Edit) Tindersticks • Soft Tissue

Concrete Sea Jon Mckiel • Hex

Pier 57 Black Market Karma • The Technicolour Liquid Audio Machine

(Dizzy) Eagle The Besnard Lakes • Single

[superbnature]

Passo Gardena 2 by worsoe1972

[laurentwhites]

Magic hours

[travelless]

Meeting Sunrise

[connor-burrows]

Dark mood over the Tre Cime by didierlanore

[youjustwaitsunshine]

ignoring that it's a rumour because all the reasons seb could have for accepting an alpine test are DELIGHTFUL:

- stopping another driver from getting a test thus eliminating some of micks competition

- testing the car before mick to give him advice to give him an edge over his competition since he is familiar with micks driving preferences and style due to roc

- showing alpine his talent so they give him the le mans seat intended for alonso

- general bullying of the alpine f1 team to give them false hope of signing someone with double the wdcs and a tenth of the ego of the guy who left them in a hissy fit

- general bullying of otmar giving him false hope because of his treatment of a young driver who didn't deserve that shit

- general bullying of alpine at the request of alain prost

- making fernando alonso soooo mad. stressing him out. would seb do a double cross like this? did he foresee that chain of events? did he plan this with mark webber? did he retire and then quickly unretire his way into a better team? is he capable of that? yes he totally is capable of that. mr multi 21 michaels successor in general nuisancery announce my new contract at the ferrariversary definitely is capable of that

- a fun day out driving a good car and comparing notes with mick 💕 being teammates for one day 💕💕

[chussyracing]

who could take nikita mazepin's seat, an indefinite list

me

cons: can't properly drive

pros: can't be worse than mazepin

callum ilott

cons: too good of a driver for a haas (but so is mick)

pros: he's a cutie and mick would have his soulmate back

maya weug

cons: nobody would talk about any other driver again

prons: she's already a part of the fda and deserves to shine in higher places

antonio giovinazzi

cons: formula e environment might actually be better for him

pros: everyone'd lose it seeing our fave italian jesus back

oscar piastri

cons: he already has ties to alpine

pros: deserves the f1 seat and if nando doesn't want to give up his yet, we find another way

oliver solberg

cons: he's too pure for f1

pros: mate, have you seen him in roc? he's a beast, but actually like, a baby: baby beast

arthur leclerc

cons: double chaos

pros: double leclercs

mahaveer raghunathan

cons: it's mahaveer

pros: it'd be simply hilarious

jamie chadwick

cons: is currently in talks with the jenners

pros: it'd save her from said jenners

pietro fittipaldi

cons: i'd want enzo in f1 too

pros: already serves as a reserve/test driver for haas

[dailyadventureprompts]

Dungeon: The Pillars if Pn’aar

“ Watch your step, for all their wisdom, the enlightened ancients that built this place didn’t seem to believe in handrails” 

Setup: Also known as “The Ageless Arches”, the antediluvian ruins of Pn’aar are one of the great places of mystery in the world, a whole mountain valley filled with crumbling or half built towers, rising out of the sub-alpine clouds like a forest in a dream. A holy tranquility seems to pervade this site, and for generations those seeking the god’s favor or simple removal from the world have made pilgrimage to the pillars, seeking the same serenity that inspired their construction so long ago. 

Recently however a Tremendous Roc has decided to make its home among these sacred monuments, scaring off the pilgrims and shaking the pillars to their foundations with the thunderous beats of its wings. More than just a simple beast, this almighty avian seems to possess a fragment of celestial grace and ( if rumors are to be believed) more than a passing resemblance to depictions of a half forgotten spirit named Nalaggi once worshiped by the people of the lowland plains. 

Adventure Hooks: 

The pillars are famous for imparting visions upon those that meditate within them, and sneaking past a giant bird-monster and the pillars’ other threats might be worth it if the party needs celestial guidance. Also a draw is the Bonsho of Sage Yitall, a bell the size of a small granary made of celestial bronze. Three strikes of this great bell is said to be able to summon aid from across the planes, or to banish any evil, but disrepair ( and the chaos caused by the appearance of a castle sized avian) have meant the bell has not run in decades. 

Traveling along one of the great rivers, a convoy of royal ships was attacked by Nalaggi while returning from a tribute mission to one of their client states. Having confused the procession for a pod of wales ( which a roc hunts the way another fish might pluck fish from a lake), the celestial raptor has made off with the largest and most gaudy of the vessels, taking it back to its lair among the pillars to feed. In addition to carrying a literal boatload of treasure, this ship also contained one of the royal heirs, who was traveling in disguise along with some of her tutors to observe the tributary mission.�� With a the lives of a princess, her entourage, and a literal king’s ransom on the line, the chance presents itself for the adventurers to graduate from simple sells words into true heroes of the realm. 

Venturing out into the lowland savannah to learn about Nalaggi is a protected process in and of itself, and will require the party to hire guides and treat with the often suspicious clanspeople of the great plains. Having suffered repeated persecutions for their “Pagan” animist faiths, they are especially reluctant to share aspects of their mythos with outsiders, and discovering Nalaggi’s weaknesses will require the party to either win over a recalcitrant head priestess, or tresspass upon holy ground to discover for themselves. 

Challenges & Complications: 

The bones of wales, elephants, and other large animals lay scattered incongruously throughout the pillars, remnants of Nalaggi’s predatory appetite. Mountain scavengers have been drawn by the scent of the great-bird’s scraps, and pose as an extra layer of challenge for those who want to traverse the pillars. Most terrible of these are a flight of gargoyles that have begun to grow in number and revere the Celestial Roc as some kind of patron and provider. These stony savages will attempt to foil any attempt to hunt Nalaggi, and have no qualms about flying out on their own to prey upon travelers and mountainfolk while their protector has left the nest. 

“Billie” Samten was a fixture of the Pillars before the Nalaggi came: originally the fatuous younger son of a pair of middle class merchant who cared more for bad poetry than he did the family business,  Samten “Found Himself” after visiting the pillars on a lark, and lived the ensuing 40 years of his life as a hermit, raising goats and providing hospitality to visitors to the ruins. Billie and a few other dedicates stayed on when others fled the monster’s presence, and can now be counted on to guide the party through his ruinous home.... provided they don’t mind the smell of slightly-off goat’s milk.

Nalaggi is indeed a celestial creature, wrought from an ancient mythology and set loose upon the world. As such, is considered a “mythic” encounter, requiring those that wish to hunt it to complete some epic task in order to be able to land a killing blow.  In the legends of the lowlanders, Nalaggi was said to be created from a desert storm by the god of the night sky, to sit guardian over an egg made of desert glass which contained one of this god’s shameful secrets. No mortal weapon was said to be able to break this shell, but if the party is clever, they might realize that rolling this egg out of the nest, through the ruins, and out over the edge of a nearby pillar may be enough to smash it.  Alternatively, Repairing and ringing the Bonsho of Sage Yitall is enough to crack the egg no matter the distance, though doing so will most certainly earn Galaggi’s attention. 

[krakenbait]

olympic update: 3/9

Good morning/afternoon everyone! Yesterday was just as busy, but a little less noteworthy than usual- I actually didn’t watch any events yesterday, so my color commentary might be a little more lame than usual. Anyway…

Lindsay Jacobellis has what is probably the greatest Olympic redemption arc in the 21st century. She won the gold in women’s snowboard cross, Team USA’s first gold medal at these games. At 36, she is also the oldest snowboarder to medal at the Olympics. But back to that redemption story. In 2006, Jacobellis would have won, but she fell during a showboating trick near the finish line and lost her chance at gold. She missed the finals in 2010 and 2014, then fell to fourth in 2018. Jacobellis was hesitant to reflect on 2006, but we can all enjoy the moment of her finally getting that gold.

In less nice news, Mikaela Shiffrin faltered again at the women’s slalom event, once again getting disqualified after slipping and missing a gate. She has three races left, if she decides to enter them. Best wishes to her.

In the same women’s slalom, Petra Vlhova of Slovakia took gold ahead of Austria’s Katharina Liensberger and Switzerland’s Wendy Holdener.

In an odd situation, the medal ceremony for the team figure skating event was postponed. Someone had a positive drug test, and who else could it be but the Russians? Come on ROC, we’ve been over this- don’t do drugs kids! If the test is confirmed, that skater will be disqualified and their points will be lost, which could shake up the medal podium, potentially in Team USA’s favor.

Shaun White and Chloe Kim are both headed to the finals in snowboard halfpipe, to absolutely no one’s surprise. Kim is almost a lock for gold, with the best performance in qualifying, but the question is on 35 year old White, striving for any medal in the event he used to dominate.

I believe I included this one yesterday, but Germany’s Natalie Geisenberger won a record third consecutive gold in women’s singles luge. With two from luge relays, Geisenberger has five gold medals total.

American Colby Stevenson won silver in men’s freestyle skiing big air after landing a 1620 and an 1800. Norway’s Birk Raud took gold and Sweden’s Henrik Harlaut won bronze.

China and South Korea have a good ol’ rivalry going on in short-track speedskating, with a contentious turn in the men’s 1500m leaving Koreans angry after two South Korean skaters were disqualified and a Chinese skater won. As an aside, short-track seems to be one of the few events the demure Chinese home crowd gets excited for, especially for their country’s athletes.

Remember Nils van der Poel, the Swedish gold medalist in 5,000m speedskating who hates speedskating? Well, he’s talking a lot again, and now he’s got a bone to pick with the Dutch. van der Poel accused the Dutch skating federation of using their influence to lobby for ice conditions favorable for skaters from the Netherlands. I’ll leave y’all to your own opinions on that.

We’ve got curling news! The men’s and women’s tournaments started their round-robin play today. Canada dominated Denmark and the US defeated ROC in the men’s, and the American women will face the Russians later today.

The men’s hockey tournament also started today with some Group B play- ROC and Denmark took wins over Switzerland and the Czech Republic

Doubles luge is a bizarre thing. But no surprise, the German pair of two men named Tobias (Tobias Wendl and Tobias Arlt) won gold.

Nordic combined- also bizarre, also won by a German. Vinzenz Geiger won gold in this combination of ski jumping and cross country skiing.

Here’s tonight’s watch list (times in EST as usual):

Women’s curling USA vs ROC (8:05 pm)

Men’s figure skating free skate (8:30 pm)

Men’s skeleton (8:30 & 10 pm)

Women’s snowboarding halfpipe (8:30 pm)

Alpine skiing men’s combined downhill (9:30 pm)

Men’s snowboard cross seeding run (10:15 pm)

Here’s the funny photo of the day. Best caption gets a shoutout in tomorrow’s recap!

And here’s the medal count.

Have a great day everyone!

tag list (let me know if you want to be added): @washyourdamnhands @sonnymilano @18minutemajor @ethan-bears