#robot gender envy hours

[bloodandfleshautism]

I love sci-fi sm I wish I was a little robot so I could change out my parts and get instant top surgery and be perfectly ambiguous of gender

[rhamrhanch]

Shepherd of Death, Don't Herd Me

Part Eight: Fire to the Flame

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Ramattra/Reader (gender-neutral pronouns)

Word Count: 5.2K

Warnings: canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort

A/N: sorry this took forever, hope you all enjoy! now I can finally watch the arcane finale YIPPEE

chapter under the cut ↓

---

You stared up at the ceiling, eyes wide open and not any closer to the blissful numbness that your body craved so desperately. Fatigue sat heavy in your bones, pinning down your limbs until they became one with the firm cotton of your mattress.

While your body was worn and weary, your mind was racing, a living tempest beating against your skull. Ramattra’s words, deep and cavernous, echoed in your mind.

Sleep.

It seemed antithetical to his existence that his voice could sound so soft, gentler than you had ever heard it in its command. Its warmth was even more pronounced, and for that moment part of you understood how someone could be drawn to his cause. If not for his words, powerful in their fierce resolve, his voice held enough gravitas that surely some were entranced by it alone.

You pressed the back of your hand to your forehead, as though trying to smooth away the thoughts you had pushed to the far corners of your mind that now stood to consume you.

Something had changed. You weren’t sure what it was, or when exactly it had happened, but you knew that something was different. It was like the veil of hostility between you had lifted, and you could finally see Ramattra as he was, what shape he took without so many outside forces pressing down on him.

Everything he did was calculated. Words were used as throughways to information, not as a means for conversation. His countenance was still as standing water, his true thoughts hidden beneath the surface while he stood above it all—a quality that you had to admit you envied, as frustrating as it was for you at times. But there had been moments when the dam broke, and you would find yourself drowning in the cognitive dissonance of it all.

When he had hidden you from Talon soldiers, his arms circling your waist in a protective ring.

When he had allowed you the opening move in your first game of chess with him, and every game thereafter, despite knowing full well how much faster it would end were it the other way around.

And, most fresh in your memory, when he had met your determined declaration of inevitable victory against him by laughing—laughing!—in your face.

It should not have surprised you as much as it did. Plenty of times had you heard him laugh, but they all paled in comparison to what you heard then.

It reverberated from his chest, rich and mirthful in its robotic timbre. A laughter so rare that it filled whoever heard it with the overwhelming desire to hear it again and again.

You may not have liked him very much, but you were at least honest enough with yourself to admit that you really, really liked his laugh. As your eyelids drifted shut, you wondered what you could say that you may hear it again.

A sharp ping from your pager rang out in the silence, waking you much earlier than you would have liked. You ignored it, rolling back over. It was probably just another repair request, no need to answer it immediately.

To your misfortune, it pinged again, and again, each one even louder than the last. Groaning, you dragged your pillow over your face and pressed down, hoping to muffle the sound, but it was no use. You threw your pillow to the foot of the bed and angled the pager toward you, squinting at the message that appeared.

From: Winston. New assignment, report to the hangar ASAP.

You shot upright, flinging the covers aside. Damn, you were already late. You snatched your coveralls from the chair you’d thrown them over and yanked them on, all thought of the Ravager forgotten as you rushed out the door.

---

A few hours later, you were back in your workshop, gripping the edge of your worktable so tight that your hands trembled. Bits and pieces of the briefing you'd received surfaced from the fog of anger clouding your mind as you stared at the lifeless omnic in front of you.

His head and eyes were obscured by a device which could only have crawled out from your nightmares. Cylindrical rods jutted out from it like spikes, like the shell of some creature warning all those who came near to stay away.

You sucked in a sharp breath, letting it out gradually before gently taking the omnic’s head between your hands. With practiced grace, you rotated it slowly, inspecting the device closely. Whatever purpose it had been designed for was a mystery to you, but the condition it left its wearer in made you less than optimistic.

You tilted the omnic's chin up, barely revealing the dim glow of his LEDs beneath the shrouding metal—a somewhat good sign, though you felt little joy at its discovery. Carefully, you released him. He did not respond, head limp as it dropped back down.

Toronto. That was where he had been found. You tried to imagine it then, what it must have been like to see airships roam the sky, deploying Nulltroopers by the hundreds as one loud voice called out above the chaos.

This is not war. This is liberation.

If this was liberation, then it bastardized the word. Its meaning had been warped and distorted into something unrecognizable.

So much time had passed, so used to seeing Ramattra had you become, that you let yourself forget. Forget who he was, and why he was here. Why he was kept under lock and key, always under a watchful eye. Now, as if punishment for your ambivalence, you were forced to see the proof of who he was with your own eyes.

Even still, you were being spared. The omnic on your worktable was only one out of hundreds. So many more had been taken, an even larger number abandoned in the streets. All with their agency, their very being having been ripped from them in an instant like their lives and souls meant nothing.

And all the while you had been here, devoting your time and your empathy to the one responsible for it.

The shame of it all was going to burn you from the inside.

With one harsh motion, you shoved off the worktable, grabbing a cable and plugging one end into a port on the back of the omnic's neck and the other into the tower under your desk. You had been sulking long enough—there was work to do.

You chewed the inside of your cheek as you watched the monitor flicker to life, eyes scanning the ribbons of graphs as they oscillated on the screen.

All except one.

He was still alive, of that you were certain. But the line that represented CPU activity plateaued, cutting into your eyes like a wire. You knew from the flicker of his LEDs that the omnic was awake as well, though perhaps not fully cognizant of the condition he was in. Even so, that line should have been fluctuating, yet it remained unmoving, as clear an indicator as any that the omnic was little more than a husk of his former self.

For the rest of the day, you toiled in your workshop, running diagnostic test after diagnostic test and hoping, praying to see any change in the omnic's neural activity.

A day turned into two, and then to three, and by the fourth day of no change you had gotten deep into the habit of breaking things just to release some of the tension. Old scrap, broken projects, anything you could get your hands on, you would disassemble and then reassemble until your fingertips were sore, as if trying to prove to yourself that you still had the ability to fix something.

But eventually, that too ceased to bring any satisfaction, and you found yourself sitting with your head in your hands, an empty numbness overtaking your entire body as you stared blankly at the scattered notes on your worktable. Realization crept up your back as you felt a disbelieving laugh threaten to burst from your throat.

Trying to fix something like this was the ultimate catch twenty-two. You couldn't deduce the purpose of the device without removing it, and you couldn't remove it without risking the life of the omnic. No wonder Torbjörn had passed the buck to you for this. You wouldn't want this job either.

The fleeting urge to laugh at your circumstances dissolved as a familiar ache settled in your chest.

What if you couldn't do it? If even Torbjörn, a man who had decades of engineering experience on you, dared not to try, how could you possibly measure up? No amount of skill gave you the ability to conjure miracles out of thin air.

You almost resented it now, the amount of faith that your fellow agents put in you. How much your skill was esteemed, without even knowing how you had honed it.

All you had promised was that you would try your best. Your senior engineer had thanked you with a grateful smile, wishing you luck.

Don't thank me, you wanted to say. Please don't.

The thought made you recall the first conversation you had with Winston, when you had been on the cusp of joining Overwatch. He had wanted to discuss your previous work, mentioning a dissertation you had written long ago when you were still a fledgling engineer in your field. Something about simulated neuromodulation in robotics—you couldn't quite remember, as you hated reading your old work.

Inspired, you remembered him calling it. Ahead of its time.

Recalling the words now made you cringe. Your optimism when you had published that paper was blinding back then, leading you down a path that you took too long to realize led to nothing but despair. And now, because of the decision you made to shed your past life, you found yourself here, at the precipice of an indescribably important task and unable to do anything about it.

If only you knew the device's purpose, then maybe you could have an idea of where to start, some inkling of what to do. But the thought of even speaking to its creator made you feel ill, a mixture of disappointment and guilt and anger rising to your tongue like bile. Your failure at being able to solve this problem on your own made you feel useless enough; you did not need to rub any more salt into the wound by begging for help.

You did not sleep, staying up all hours of the night with your head on your desk as you waited for the tests to take their toll, watching the lines flicker on the screen and knowing that they would be the same as they always were.

You heard that same voice that once warmed you with its kindness urge you to rest. Rubbing your eyes tiredly, you banished it from your mind, refusing to indulge in something you did not deserve. You would not stop working, not while the fate of this omnic rested on your shoulders.

Hearing a signal from your computer, you lifted your head from where it rested in the crook of your elbow, feeling a familiar burn in your eyes as you stared at the monitor for what felt like the hundredth time. Today was the fifth day you had slouched over this table, monitoring the omnic for any sign of change, only to see nothing.

Hot tears of frustration sprung to your eyes as you gazed at the omnic on your worktable, motionless as he had been since the day he was brought to you. There would be no sixth, you decided then. Tomorrow, you would tell Winston that there was nothing more you could do.

Reaching forward, you took the omnic's hand in your own, realizing that you did not even know his name. You wondered to yourself what kind of person he had been before all of this happened to him.

Did he have a job? Any hobbies, a favorite song?

Did he have a family, someone waiting for him to return?

Your heart began to beat faster as the last question weighed in your mind. How could you give up on him, without knowing whether there were people out there who still needed him? What gave you the right to decide that, when there was still one last thing you had not tried?

Gently, you placed his hand atop his chest, before sitting up from your chair and throwing open the door of your workshop. You refused to let your pride stand in the way of helping someone who needed it.

---

Ramattra lifted his head immediately at the sound of footsteps, having heard their specific rhythm enough times to recognize who they belonged to.

He felt his body warm slightly at the expectation of your arrival. When you had not returned like you promised, Ramattra had initially thought nothing of it. You had other duties to attend to, and he welcomed the quiet solemnity that solitude offered him.

But when almost a week had passed and you still had not come, he had realized how much he had come to look forward to your visits, and how noticeable your absence now was to him. With you came the knowledge that for at least a few hours he would have something else to focus on besides the dull and colorless walls of the room, an element of his imprisonment that he was growing more and more weary of.

It was with this expectation that his internal fans began to circulate, his processor running wild to compute the possibilities of what you might do today. But when he finally caught sight of you across the hall, you were not wearing the expression he had grown accustomed to seeing.

Your eyes were dull, the shadows beneath it having grown darker since he saw you last. Clearly, you had not taken his suggestion to heart. But as tired as you seemed, there was a quickness to your stride that could only have come from determination.

The keypad outside the door beeped in rapid succession and then you were entering, something he couldn't quite identify clutched in your hand. Ramattra stood instantly as you came to a stop in front of him.

"You need to come with me," you said, and then your hands were around his wrists without warning. There was an urgency to your motions that was a far cry from the care with which you touched his wrist before, and he instinctively pulled away, finally seeing what exactly it was that you had brought with you.

Handcuffs.

"What is the meaning of this?" he growled, and you sighed as if frustrated.

"I'll explain it to you later, but right now I need you to—" You reached for his hand again, but he snatched it away.

"I will not be kept in restraints—"

"Winston won't let you leave this room without them," you said through grit teeth. "Just let me put them on." A moment passed, and then, "Please."

Ramattra analyzed your face, searching for signs of deception. Finding none, he let his processor run through the possibilities that your words implied.

Silently, he stepped closer to you, holding his hands slightly away from his body. You slid the restraints over his wrist, and he grunted as the bolts snapped into place. Immediately, he felt his body grow lethargic, as if it suddenly lost the strength to hold itself up properly. He lifted his arms slightly, actuators feeling like they were moving through tar with the movement. Electromagnetic handcuffs, he realized. That ape was smarter than he gave him credit for.

Ramattra had no choice but to follow you as you grasped his elbow, leading him away from the conference room. Though his body was weakened, his system remained unburdened, and he took every opportunity he had to memorize his surroundings, storing them away for future reference. As you proceeded further into the base, though, the halls became more familiar, and he soon realized where exactly you were taking him.

Your workshop was a mess compared to the last time he seen it, scattered papers and miscellaneous scrap covering every surface. When he saw the omnic you had sprawled on your worktable, one of his subjugators on their head and a wire at their neck, alarm sparked through his system. He tried to reach for them, only for his hands to strain against the cuffs, pulling a noise of frustration from his vocalizer.

"What have you done?" he asked, unable to mask the urgency in his voice.

You paused, as if surprised by his reaction, before your brow furrowed. "Nothing yet. Not until you tell me what this is for," you said, before pointing at the subjugator.

His optics flicked from the omnic back to you. "You cannot remove it," he said, not willing to disclose any further.

You held firm, crossing your arms over your chest as you fixed him with an inquisitive gaze. "Why not? Surely now that you are confined to this place, you have no need for soldiers."

"Soldiers?" His head tilted in confusion. "They are not soldiers."

Your shoulders slackened, meeting his confusion with your own. "They aren't? Then why… why would you do this?” Hands falling to your sides, you had a pained look on your face that he had not seen before. “How could you do this to other omnics, your own kind—"

Ramattra caught the waver in your tone, but it did not sway him. "All I have ever done, I have done for the sake of my people. This is a necessary measure, to keep them safe—"

"Safe?" you interrupted, eyes wide with disbelief. "You must be joking."

Irritation ignited in his processor. "I am not."

You seemed to have abandoned your earlier attempt to appeal to him as you stepped forward, eyes piercing daggers through his chassis. "How does robbing them of choice keep them safe? How does suppressing their entire being keep them safe?"

The logical part of his mind knew you would not understand, knew that this conversation would do nothing but unearth a deep bitterness that roiled inside him like thunder, yet still words rose in his vocalizer, a desperate desire for just one person to see things the way he did.

"Would you let your kind walk freely if it meant they were walking into fire?" he snapped. "Too many of my people would rather throw their lives away protecting the very humans that call for our destruction than dare to raise a hand against them.” His hands fought against the restraints as he spoke, feeling the familiar burn in his processor as his buried rage clawed its way to the surface. “I have chosen to walk the latter path, but I will not allow my people to put themselves in danger by standing in my way."

"But it’s a danger of your own creation!" Your voice was rising now, but Ramattra did not falter.

"It is a necessary endeavor I must take to ensure the survival of my people," he said, fighting to keep his voice measured as frustration at your refusal to understand began building in his processor. "Without being threatened, humanity has no motivation to ever treat us fairly. Omnics will forever remain second-class citizens, relics of the war to be whittled down until there are none of us left. If my people refuse to recognize that, then I must make them—"

"You have no right to decide that!" you shouted. "Their freedom is not yours for the taking! To so callously rid them of their autonomy, treating them with little more dignity than as a means to an end—" You stopped as you took a breath, punching out your next words with venom.

“It’s cruel!"

Ramattra stilled. Cruel? What could you possibly know of the word? As far as he was concerned, no human had the right to use that word against him, not after everything he bore witness to in his life.

Slowly, he walked forward, drawing close enough to you that his chest nearly touched yours. He angled his head over you, looking down at you silently. You remained as still as a statue, only tilting your head up to meet his gaze dead on.

Good. He wanted to see the look in your eyes when he said this.

"Do you know how many omnics there were after the war?" he growled, the sound sitting low in his vocalizer. Your gaze faltered slightly, and you clenched your jaw, but you did not answer.

"Do you know how many have died since then?"

Again, you had no answer, so he answered for you.

"One tenth," he said. "In less than thirty years, one tenth of all the omnics who have ever existed and will ever exist are now gone, forever. Just a single generation, and we have been decimated permanently.”

He watched the defiant fire in your eyes flicker out as his words sunk in, but still you did not look away.

“If you want to call me cruel, do not ever forget again why I have been forced to be.”

Silence hung between you for a moment, and he felt a lick of satisfaction at your apparent speechlessness. But it did not last long.

"If you do not let them decide for themselves if they want to fight," you said, your voice eerily calm, "how does that make you any different from Anubis?"

Something jolted in Ramattra's processor, a pointed memory that he had suppressed when the pain of remembering became too strong. An argument, just like this one, with friends long gone.

“I refuse to aid you in undoing all that I have worked for,” he said eventually, turning away from your gaze.

"Fine." You snagged the bridge between his cuffs. "Have it your way. I will do this on my own."

---

You sat against the wall in the hangar, your knees pulled up and your face buried in your arms. Now late in the evening, the blazing anger from your argument with Ramattra had flickered out, leaving you only with the sad reality of what you were now faced with. Having burned a bridge with the only potential lead you had, you were back where you began.

The worst part was that you could not convince yourself to hate him. You wanted to, so badly you wanted to, but after hearing everything he said, you could not fault him for how he felt. He was right, and the reality of it had slapped you in the face.

You had no idea what it had been like for omnics after the war. You had no memories of your own of the Crisis, only what it had felt like to live in the aftermath. Whatever you felt could never compare to the weight of experience that belonged to those who had existed since the beginning.

How many times had your hands swept over the broken bodies of omnics, your own undoing the imprints of hatred left behind by your fellow humans? How many times had you felt the urge to scream from the rooftops, your demands for others to look at the world around them repeatedly ignored?

Your own bitterness and frustration had led you to make choices you now regretted, and you were only human. What must it have been like for Ramattra, for all the omnics, to suddenly awaken from some horrible dream only to be met with hatred and violence for things they had no memory of doing?

You jumped at the sound of grinding metal as the garage doors of the hanger opened slowly, splitting from the middle as the anodized white of the ship’s hull peeked through. Wind from the ship’s landing gear whipped your collar around your neck as you approached it. The hangar closed behind it with a loud slam, echoing around the walls as the main door opened outward. Two figures exited, and you lifted a hand in greeting.

"Genji!" you said upon recognizing the neon green of his armor. "You're back!"

His head darted up, as though surprised to see you. "Oh, hello. I apologize, I did not realize you were waiting for us."

Us? "No, I was just nearby—" you began to say, before finally realizing who was standing beside him. Or floating, rather.

Your eyes flickered between Genji and the unfamiliar omnic before recognition sparked in your memory. "Oh, you must be Zenyatta!" you said, feeling slightly embarrassed at your rudeness and holding your hand out. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long day.”

The omnic bent his head down in greeting before taking your extended hand. "Hello. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. Genji has spoken about you often." You straightened up, clasping your hands in front of you as you struggled to think of something to say. "Have you come to join Overwatch as well?"

"No, that is not the nature of my visit," he replied calmly, his voice smooth and tempered. "Genji informed me that my presence here was needed. For what purpose, I have yet to find out."

"I see," you said, looking down awkwardly. "Well then, I won't keep you." You moved to leave, only to stop when Zenyatta spoke again.

“My student has told me that you are quite an engineer. Would you be willing to have a look at my shoulder?” He placed a hand over it, rotating it a bit too stiffly for an omnic. “Perhaps one of my servos has locked up.”

"Oh," you said softly, haphazardly looking back in the direction of your workshop. "I suppose, but I really should be getting back to—”

“Wonderful!” the monk interrupted, placing a hand on your back and leading you in the direction that was not where your workshop was. You spared a questioning glance over your shoulder at Genji, but he only shrugged.

Soon you found yourself in the base’s common area, resting your elbows on the island as you watched Zenyatta leisurely float about the kitchen as he prepared tea. How he even knew where the kitchen was you had no idea, but you had no reason to complain.

After a moment, he set a ceramic cup in front of you. You brought it close, letting the curling steam warm your face for a moment.

“I thought you wanted me to check your shoulder,” you said, turning in your chair to face the omnic as he came to hover beside you.

"During my travels I have found that sharing a cup of tea creates a pleasant environment for conversation," he said, clasping his hands in front of him. “It’s good for an omnic to get to know his mechanic, don’t you think?”

You smiled softly, already endeared to this somewhat mystifying monk. One hand beneath your cup, you lifted it to your lips, feeling warmth spread throughout your body. The tea was sharp and bitter, but it gave way to a cooling aftertaste that loosened the tension in your shoulders immediately. For someone with no sense of smell or taste, Zenyatta made an excellent cup of tea.

"This blend is lovely," you said. "Where did you find it?"

"At a village apothecary in Huangshan," he answered. “That is where I was when Genji contacted me. The locals recommended it as a good visiting gift.”

"Isn’t the monastery in Nepal?" you asked, taking another sip. "That seems quite a distance to go just for tea."

Zenyatta’s chin tilted downward, and for a moment your heart leaped, fearing you had offended him.

“I have not been to the monastery for some time now. I sought my own path and have been travelling the world in the years since I met Genji.”

You set your cup down, sitting with rapt attention at Zenyatta’s words. “I see. What inspired your travels, if you don’t mind my asking?”

"A great many things,” he said. “But the idea had first come to me from a brother of mine, another monk of the Shambali, long ago."

“Really?”

He nodded. "Yes. He had grown dissatisfied with the teachings of the Shambali and wanted to search for a method toward peace for our people outside of the monastery. Back then, he had asked me to accompany him, but I declined.”

“Did you ever regret it?” The question slipped from your mouth before you could think, and you immediately kicked yourself internally. But Zenyatta only hummed in thought, his spheres chiming as they rotated around him.

“At the time, I felt I had more to learn at the monastery, that perhaps there was something he had not seen that I had yet to know. It was one of the points of disagreement between us, but he did not try to convince me to go, and I did not try to convince him to stay.”

“One of?” you asked, your voice curious. Perhaps your own ignorance was to blame, but you never imagined two members of the same monastic order could be that different. “Did you disagree often?”

"Sometimes. But our bond did not suffer for it. We both shared the same goal, so disagreements were only another way to understand each other. At least, we used to." There was something almost sorrowful in Zenyatta’s tone, hardly noticeable if you were not paying such close attention. "I often wonder what would have become of him, had I taken his offer from the beginning. But the past is a mirror that distorts the memory. I can only look toward the future now to guide me."

You looked down at the tea in your cup, seeing your own face reflected back at you. "Do you still believe people very different from each other can get along?"

Zenyatta tilted his head at you. For a moment, the gesture reminded you of Ramattra, but the feeling was fleeting. "Is there someone in particular you are thinking of?"

You felt a shiver run down your back at how incredibly astute he was. It took only one sentence for him to instantly pinpoint the true intent behind your question.

Your first instinct was to say no. You hardly knew Zenyatta, had only just begun speaking to him less than an hour ago. Yet you felt a strange familiarity with him, like you had met before somehow. Perhaps this was just the way all monks were—somewhat omniscient and easy to talk to. Something you needed right now.

"Yes,” you answered after a moment. “I want—need—to work together with him for something important, but we just… can’t seem to find common ground.” You sighed, feeling a dull pain in your chest at the memory.

“When two people feel passionate about something, it is usually because they care very deeply about it,” Zenyatta said. “Perhaps it would be fruitful to think about the ways in which your goals align.”

You leaned back in your chair, humming contemplatively. It would probably be good advice for someone in any other situation besides yours. Though, at this point, what did you have to lose?

"Maybe you’re right,” you acquiesced. “But I find it difficult to imagine how I could share any goals with the leader of Null Sector—"

The chiming stopped, and you paused, looking back to Zenyatta only to see that his spheres had frozen in place.

You were about to ask him what was wrong when he leaned forward, his voice earnest as he asked, “Ramattra? Ramattra is here?”

[bisexualisopod]

15 questions

not tagged by @whitefangthefightingwolf but im doing it anyway

1. Are you named after anyone?

I’m named after my grandfather, and it is very frustrating because it means I can’t change my name without feeling like I’m disrespecting him, and there’s no good femme names starting with J.

2. When was the last time you cried?

when my dad threatened to beat my ass last month

3. Do you have kids?

no

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

i’ve been rock climbing since before I could walk, and whenever I have a chance I love to (shittily) do archery. I also used to swim because it was the only sport I could do without putting too much pressure on my hip injury, but I’ve pretty much totally stopped that. I also did triathlons for a bit, but the only part I enjoyed was biking, so now thats all i do. oh yeah and tennis but I ate shit at it so that ended also

5. Do you use sarcasm?

i do, but not very often; i mostly just use it for the generic ‘oh im just doing absolutely great right now’ type of stuff

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

gender envy

7. What's your eye color?

hazel

8. Scary movies or comedies?

comedies. i cannot handle scary for the life of me; I’ll watch a slightly scary movie and then not be able to sleep 4 hours later

9. Any talents?

I’m pretty good at climbing given how little I actually show up to practice, and I’m really good at math. I’m also pretty good at programming. really im just good at learning things, because every subject is fascinating to me

10. Where were you born?

tampa florida

11. What are your hobbies?

i love rock climbing, camping, hiking, basically doing anything outdoors, which sucks because mosquitoes also love me doing anything outdoors. i also somewhat play piano, but i kinda suck at it because i dont do it very often. i also do competitive robotics

12. Do you have any pets?

yes, a white labradoodle

13. How tall are you?

5’3 T-T

14. Favoriete subject in school?

math, or maybe physics because the topics are actually real and so its a lot more interesting when i make connections

15. Dream job?

i wanna build something that ends up on another planet

tagging @countably-infinite-rats @trapny @bisopod @homosexualisopod @isopodhours @mrfluffles300 @galaxywarp @erros429

[strangedisciple]

julian wrapped

you listened to songs from albert hammond jr's yours to keep 713 times

you were normal about those old middle aged men for 0 hours

you realised you were a robot 2 times

you added 190 things to your identity hoard blog

you sent asks to steve 1933847374738 times

you unsuccessfully tried to ignore the yearning since june

you ate chicken nuggets 145 times

you were completely normal about the strokes and any of their solo or side projects for 1838373737 hours

you got major gender envy from julian casablancas 750 times (and counting)

you were pulled back into your tame impala hyperfixation 3 times

you made a lot of kind tumblr friends!

[joyce-stick]

I didn't like Scott Pilgrim Takes Off all that much. I feel like elucidating on why, a little bit. so. Anyway.

First, letterboxd review I wrote within a few hours of finishing the show (read this first please):

So, I read all of the comic (finally) prior to watching Takes Off. Having seen the movie several times before, I found the comic interesting in how it develops its characters further over a longer timeframe and ties up a few loose ends that the movie sort of left open in weird ways that don't make sense. Ramona has more agency, Knives shows more maturity, Scott and Ramona are more explicitly on equal footing and make for better foils for each other in the comic than in the movie. Scott regrets his life choices and runs away for a while. Ramona regrets her life choices and also runs away. They both come back and beat up Gideon together with, y'know, mutual agreement that they both kinda equally suck and deserve each other and are going to both try to get better for themselves and one another and it's fine

It's not like, groundbreaking feminist storytelling, but it sure is a lot MORE gender equal than the movie which just goes like. Ramona is mind controlled! Scott must save her! Scott beats up Gideon sorta unilaterally (with a little bit of help) and then gets Ramona because he does! It's okay. It's fine. I mean, both the movie and the comic are fine. The movie is a hyperinventive visual feast and a stellar adaptation as far as faithfully replicating its source material in the target medium. I love it. Anyway.

Both the comic and the movie are fairly complete stories which really don't need more elaborating on. They're done. They exist. People either like them, or hate them, and have been discoursing on them for years. People discuss how bad of a person Scott is or isn't, or how transgender of a reading you can apply or not apply to Scott.

(I mean, you can! You're allowed to!)

It's all well-worn. And stuff. I don't know that Scott Pilgrim is a trans girl. I mean, it's plausible fanfiction. You can do it if you like. I wish that Takes Off had played with that idea, instead of what it did do, or, in addition to what it did do? And what it did do is just. Weh?

Weh.

Okay where do I start. Um.

spoilers for Takes Off below this point

Takes Off starts by taking Scott out of the picture. He is assumedly presumably made dead. Coined. Whoo.

Okay so obviously Scott isn't actually dead, he comes back later, but him being presumed dead for a bit does open the door to the rest of the cast to get some attention. Which you'd think would be good. Alright. So, we have Matthew Patel, still here. He's an incel, it turns out. Beats Gideon in a fight being like "man I got the bigger dick here." Wins totally! Okay! The league of evil exes is all either like "wow good going Matt" or "man screw this shit" and leaves. That's amusing for a minute.

Roxy shows up for an episode, fights Ramona, and is like "YOU LEFT ME RAMMY! I HATE YOU!" And we get some delicious flashbackiness to their relationship, and they kinda reconcile. Then Roxy kisses Kim, and is like "nah I don't care Kim" and dips. Yay.

The fight between Ramona and Roxy is well animated and fun to watch. I enjoyed it. It's alright.

What else... Um, Gideon has a backstory! Gideon isn't even his real name! And he's become the mega incel that he becomes because he got rejected by some girl in high school and this turned into his supervillain origin story. Okay

Lucas Lee does skateboarding and skateboards some paparazzosi to coindeath! Go him! That is genuinely a fun sequence and I enjoyed it, I guess

Wallace Wells seduces Todd Ingram and they have a lot of hot gay vegan sex! He and Envy Adams sorta fight about it! How wacky! Okay

The Katayanagi Twins get some speaking lines in this show! Their robot (which appeared in the comic but not the movie if I remember right) is around. Um.

Julie! Julie is an old school friend of Gideon. She lets him stay at her house. Gideon/Gordon and Lucas Lee do some bro shit. Cool man

All of this is like, fine, and fun, and stuff. I'm fine with it. I liked it. I enjoyed it. Oh and I guess there's a meta subplot about the Scott Pilgrim movie becoming the Scott Pilgrim movie but failing to become the Scott Pilgrim movie because the actors keep having too many video game fights on the movie set

Okay so this is all stuff that Ramona finds out or sorta bumbles into while looking for Scott, who she's surmised has disappeared and is not actually dead. Of course, Scott is not actually dead. He's just been kidnapped and displaced in time by an older version of himself, who is having a midlife crisis because his relationship with Ramona is going badly and he wishes that it had never happened, so he kidnaps young Scott to make it so that it never happened. This does not really work. Also future Ramona does some of her own intervening in the past to counter the plot of future Scott. She has Delorean rollerblades that time travel at 88 miles per hour *rolls eyes*

Anyway, then older older Scott has a fight with younger younger Scott, future Ramona intervenes and merges with younger Ramona to become a super form Ramona and they're just like "my beloved Scott, please, just go back to the future and sort out our marriage, like a responsible adult," he is teleported back to the future, all the exes are not coinexploded, and we get a final scene implying that Julie and Gideon/Gordon are planning something which will lead into a second season, and I don't know why

Why is any of this?

I could analyze it. I could try to tell you why any of this is. But like. I really can't. I don't know.

None of this really advances or develops the characters in any way that wasn't already adequately explored in the existing material. Like, Roxy's hangup over Ramona is fleshed out a bit more, sure, and that's the part of the show I really liked, but... is there anything to that? Does it add anything to Roxy's character that we didn't already know? Not really. We could already pretty easily infer from the comics that Ramona left Roxy, just like she left all her exes, and that Roxy is mad about it. Is it nice that they talk about it? I guess. Sure. It's nice to have a version of that conversation without Scott being the third wheel. But does it meaningfully change her character?

...No

And this is the same for all the characters. Our understanding of Matthew Patel and Gideon Graves is not particularly deepened by their incel dickmeasuring fight, or Gideon's origin story about getting rejected in high school. Our understanding of Lucas Lee is not especially enhanced by the newly revealed detail that he's a headache for his agent because of his reckless wild free devil may care skater dude attitude causing PR risks. Our understanding of Wallace Wells is not amazingly additioned by seeing him seduce Todd Ingram and piss off Envy Adams. Our understanding of Knives doesn't change when she learns how to play music and gets along with Kim and Stephen... And such and so forth.

And our understanding of Scott does not meaningfully change, either. There's really no radically new character interpretation to be drawn from "Scott divorces Ramona and then tries to undo his past". That's just kind of a thing you'd figure he'd do. And of course Ramona would try to set him straight! And look for him! And. Yeah

So yeah, Takes Off feels like, almost, the definition of that phrase that Dan Olson used in that one video

"No meaning, only lore."

I cannot fathom why this show exists other than that Netflix wanted a Scott Pilgrim show, and Bryan Lee O'Malley decided to pitch one because he's sure as hell not got any other big hit comics being cross-media franchises right now, and the plot that ended up being there feels like his end of the entire writing process was spent wracking his brain, fighting for his life to come up with a reason, any reason, to write more of fucking Scott Pilgrim

And the best he could come up with was, I guess, Scott has a midlife crisis, and also more superfluous character detail, and the fanservice angle of getting to see Ramona fight Roxy, or Gideon fight Matthew, or Lucas Lee skateboard more

I had a lot of fun seeing all that but I don't know why I watched it. I don't know who wanted this. And I definitely don't know who wants a second season of this. Who would want more of this? The season we do have was already grasping for straws to do more with this setting and these characters as it was. What would they even do?

Anyway. If I was gonna rewrite this and write this smarter. I'd probably tell y'all about the moment when Young Neil is trying to write a screenplay, and some mysterious figure (later revealed to be future Ramona) shows up in his room and types up the screenplay for the Scott Pilgrim movie for him. And then he wakes up, the screenplay is on his desk, and he's like "WHOA I don't remember writing this! I totally wrote this!"

And I'd say, if I were trying to be smart and write some smart video essay analogy in a better more polished review, that Takes Off feels like Bryan Lee O'Malley wished that the script for the show would similarly emerge fully formed from nowhere from the future for him.

Or something.

Anyway, thanks for reading this impromptu, review rant something. If you liked whatever this was, and want to see us write more, better things, then, giving us money would be cool.

Patreon | Ko-fi

[zerodaryls]

@desertthorn @chiosblog y'all both tagged me lol,, thanks!!! <3

alas i cannot Toto my way through this one because they don't got no Z songs 😔 inconsiderate of them tbh

Z - Zanzibar by Billy Joel (i know this song but i literally had to resort to google to find a Z song because nothing was coming up in my brain lol)

E - Entertaining Angels by Newsboys (i grew up with this song and it's still one of my favorites tbh even tho i'm not a christian anymore like it's so fucking good and isn't preachy or anything. you know back in the 90s and early 00s when christians actually made decent music and it wasn't just fuckin worship music 24/7 lmao. also phil joel with his long blonde hair?? forever giving me gender envy.)

R - Rooms On Fire by Stevie Nicks (aka THE MOST UNDERRATED STEVIE NICKS SONG literally WHY doesn't the entire world know this song. flash warning for the video tho. holy fuck she's so gorgeous but like i can't be attracted to her because i want her to adopt me. she's MOMMY but in a totally boring, nonsexual way lmao.)

O - One Dance by Dan Bern (i mean, it's the main track from the movie my url is based on, so. i HAD to. plus it's just. vibes.)

D - The Downeaster Alexa by Billy Joel (literally one of the best songs ever written fight me fight me fight me,, does any other song make you literally feel like you're on the ocean trying to catch enough fish to provide for your family?? i swear every time i hear it i'm transported to this song character's world and i literally wanna cry from the angst. it's so fucking good. also these are some of billy's best vocals. they blow me away every time. YA YA YAAAAA YO)

A - Are We Dancing? by John Davidson and Leslie Ann Warren (why?? idk i was going through my music collection and this stood out because i remember loving it as a kid, i always found it so soothing. sometimes i'll put it on for comfort even tho it's just a cheesy romance song from a 1960s disney movie that i barely even remember ever watching lmao)

R - Rich Girl by Daryl Hall & John Oates (aka the song i would put on as a kid when i wanted an excuse to curse and be able to say IT'S IN THE SONG MOM I'M JUST SINGING THE SONG!!!! "it's a BITCH, girl")

Y - Y Bardd O Montreal gan Breichiau Hir (this is a cover and normally i'm loyal to original versions of art lol but i really like the screamy bits in this one. my Welsh isn't good enough to understand everything they're saying but holy hell i sure do be head bangin' anyways lmao)

L - Left & Right in the Dark by Julian Casablancas (honestly thanks for tagging me in this because it made me remember how much i FUCKING LOVE THIS ENTIRE ALBUM,, i only know like 2 songs by The Strokes, but i love a handful of his solo stuff,, honorable mention: 11th Dimension - 'we're so quick to point out our own flaws in others,, complicated mammals on the wings of robots' is SUCH a lyric. also side note he gives me so much gender envy holy shit)

S - Static Box gan Sywel Nyw feat. Gwilym (another Welsh song because hoLY FUCK THIS SONG IS SO CATCHY it makes me go all autism flappy hands)

.....sorry, that got away from me. it's been like an hour and i've just been sat here going through my own music collection and rambling lmaoooo rip.

anyway thanks for the tag, y'all!

tagging anyone else who wants to do this,, say i tagged you so i can see y'alls music tastes.

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL and tag that many people.

i- I was all over her by salvia palth

n- no surprises by radiohead

a- a night to remember by beabadoobee and laufey

s- sunsetz by cigarettes after sex

t- there is a light that never goes out by the smiths

a- all I think about now by pixies

t- the blonde by TV girl

e- everything by the black skirts

o- one beer by MF DOOM

f- first love/late spring by mitski

c- cigarettes out the window by TV girl

r- rises the moon by liana flores

i- infrunami by steve lacey

s- see you again by tyler the creator and kali uchis

i- i can't handle change by roar

s- show me how by men I trust

(do I know 16 people??)

@rohza-is-a-bit-gay @rainnism @titan-god-helios @frogofalltime @etherealspacejelly @tiredlyvelociraptoring @chaotic-beannn @us-costco-official @chaoticrsstuff @werewolfenthusiast @person4924 @indecisivebitch3000 @ionlylook @transgirlsgetswords @asherwentinsanelol + anyone else whod like to join

[rrover]

whenever a piece of media has a cool robot character i always get unreasonably attached to them

[knchins]

Café Desire - Sanzu H.

Summary:  Sanzu finds himself a new toy to play with, an innocent and inexperienced cafe worker who had no idea who they’re getting involved with

Pairing: Sanzu Haruchiyo x Reader

Reader Type: AFAB - Gender Neutral

Rating: E+

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: extreme dubious consent, degradation, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, sex toy usage, anal play, semi-public masturbation, semi-public sex, exhibitionism, referenced drug use/addiction, referenced master/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby dynamic, mind break, manipulation, some v minor aftercare (insufficient imo), unsafe sex, creampies, multiple orgasms, overstimulation....hopefully that's it

Notes: I meant to have this out yesterday as a treat but low and behold I was behind schedule lol. Happy belated Valentine's Day! What better way to celebrate than some Sanzu smut? ;)

You had just been promoted to manager, your supervisor entrusting you with keys to the small café so that you could start closing up after your shifts by yourself. It wasn’t located in a busy area, so most of the time during the week you worked by yourself. On the weekends or holidays, you’d usually have a coworker to help during the busier hours, but ultimately you’d always end up cleaning and locking up alone.

You didn’t mind it. It was an easy job in a relatively quiet neighborhood. It was within walking distance from your apartment, meaning you didn’t have to worry about using public transport or getting your own vehicle. The pay wasn’t incredibly high but the most expensive thing was the rent which was covered. You had enough for groceries and a few luxury items. All in all, life was good.

But good was boring.

It was the same thing day in and day out: wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed. Routine was nice at first, it was less stressful to know what to expect, but as time went on it just became monotonous. You became robotic. Since graduating and moving on into adulthood, your friends from school had drifted apart. It was a natural, gradual thing that unfortunately happened to a lot of people. Making new friends was difficult. Your free time was spent in your apartment catching up on tv or reading the latest volume of your favorite manga. Life wasn’t exciting. Life was simply just typical.

The day you met Sanzu Haruchiyo would always be burned into your memory. There was no way you’d ever be able to forget it. He stumbled into the café, sweet tooth nagging him as he was in the middle of another bender. What pills had he taken this time? What had he snorted in the bathroom off the porcelain sink? He had no idea. You didn’t even notice that he was high, having never had any experience with that sort of thing.

When Sanzu laid his eyes on you, he saw prey. You didn’t know it yet, but one of the city’s top criminals had just wandered into your workplace, looking for a bite to eat and maybe a bite of something else too. He could practically smell the innocence on you, the naivety. He watched like a cat as you made his order with a bounce in your step.

In reality, you had already been captivated from the moment you saw him. His rosy pink hair and thick eyelashes were definitely a thing of envy and not something you saw every day. The parallel scars on his mouth were more intriguing than frightening. His smile had been infectious, your mood lifting instantly as you watched him write something down on the small paper receipt you handed him.

With a wink he picked up the parfait that you had made for him and walked out, leaving the paper behind. You called out to the head of soft pink locks, only for him to ignore you and continue on his way. Your eyes cast down, seeing a cell number written down on the receipt. You felt your face heat up with the realization that he had left it on purpose so you’d have his phone number, something that had never actually happened to you before.

You had had a few boyfriends over the years, even had sex a couple of times, but it was nothing special. It hadn’t even been all that enjoyable for you. The thought of someone so handsome and mysterious wanting to maybe ask you out had your heart thumping loudly in your ears.

However, he was a total stranger. Who knows what kind of person he was. Ultimately you decided not to contact him. Something told you to let it go this time. You’d probably never see him again anyway.

It took him coming in three more times on his off days to convince you to give him a chance. He was persistent if nothing else, and you had never really had someone show this much interest in you. It was almost nice to be chased after for once and to not have to initiate a relationship. Sure he didn’t really know much about you, but that was what dates were for, right?

Perhaps you were too innocent, trustful, and simply unaware of the true dangers of men. Your inexperience in relationships and sex meant you weren’t much better than a virgin. Sex was still a new and somewhat scary thing. Of course, that didn’t mean you couldn’t learn.

The first few dates had been simple. Nothing too extravagant. They were fun and completely had your guard down around the man you now knew as Sanzu Haruchiyo. You were closing up the store again today and he had come in with a lazy grin and eyes that almost looked glazed over. He watched with a predatory gaze as you went to the front door and unlocked it so you could clean up shop before going home.

“Can I get a grand tour now, beautiful?” He asked, his voice sultry with an edge of something you couldn’t quite place.

“Of course, Haru.” You replied with a smile, first showing him behind the counter where you took orders and made the food. You didn’t notice his demeanor shift as you took him into the back storeroom.

Sanzu stood so close behind you that you could feel his body heat. After pulling the string for the overhead light, you felt his rough hands grasp your hips, his chapped lips kissing a fiery drug-fueled trail from the underside of your jaw and down your throat to your shoulder. The last date you had been on, you had kissed multiple times but it was never like this. He was tired of waiting on his new little pet to submit and was instead cornering you in the dim-lit room with a feral grin as you strained to look at his face. A look that had you tensing between your legs, exciting bubbling in the pit of your stomach.

“Haru-” Your voice came out in a small moan as he bit your neck, sucking a bruise onto it. His hard cock pressed against your ass, nestling into the valley between your cheeks as he rutted his hips impatiently. The dry humping had something foreign stirring within you, suddenly the unfamiliar need to be stuffed to the brim with him grew.

“You moanin’ for me already?” He asked, his voice condescending if not with a hint of laughter, “here I thought you weren’t a little whore.”

His words shot something through you. Something exhilarating that had your heart leaping out of your chest. Arousal was building faster than you could ever imagine possible as his hands roved over your form lazily. One hand moved up your shirt to grope at your breast through your bra while the other managed to snake into the front of your shorts.

Sanzu’s thin fingers glided over your panties, running along your slit to feel just how damp your underwear had become at his small amount of teasing. He tentatively pinched your nipple and felt your inner thigh twitch as a needy whine hitched in your throat.

“I thought you were a virgin, but I guess not.” He hissed, sounding almost disappointed and angry. You wanted to protest, tell him that you could be anything he wanted you to be. Because while this was sudden and unprompted and new, it was something you had thought about at night often while fucking yourself with your small purple vibrator.

“I-I’ve only done it twice,” You admitted awkwardly and you could practically feel the twisted grin creep across his beautiful scarred face.

“Twice? Did they make you cum?” He asked, suddenly tugging your underwear upward so it bunched against your clit. The fabric pressing against the sensitive bud had your hips bucking against it, desperate for any kind of friction even if the sensation was somewhat painful.

You shook your head, unable to say it out loud. Would he be mad that you hadn’t enjoyed it those other few times? Or would it be a good thing? You were simply too out of your element to know.

He chuckled darkly as he released your underwear, though it remained uncomfortable wedged between your labia. “I like a challenge, sweetheart.” He said in a husky tone, nipping at the upper cartilage of your ear. His hands went back to your hips as he roughly tugged down your pants and underwear so he could get a perfect view of your tight ass.

Cold air tickled the wet skin between your legs, making you shiver under the harsh fluorescent lighting. Sanzu’s rough hands ran over your ass before giving it a firm smack that echoed in the small room. You let out a helpless yelp, having not expected it and again he laughed as if you were the most amusing little thing he’d seen in his entire life.

Two fingers probed their way through your lips and into your needy hole, a gasp escaped you at just how long they felt inside. You had never really paid much attention to his hands before and suddenly they felt so large as he pressed against your plush walls. You pressed back into his hand, moving your hips in order to force yourself down further onto his digits.

Sanzu was grinning madly at your actions, though he had been a little upset that this wasn’t your first time, you were still performing admirably. “Take off your shirt and bra.” He ordered and watched with glee as you finished stripping for him all the while still moving your hips in a slow and purposeful rhythm.

His free hand went trailing up your spine before roughly pushing you forward so you were bent at the hips, legs spread for him in a position that had him freeing himself from his pants for some relief from the restricting fabric. You grasped onto the shelving unit in front of you to help keep you steady and you continued to fuck yourself with his fingers, in too deep to stop now.

“Now isn’t that a pretty sight?” He cooed, suddenly moving his fingers as he added a third one. The stretch was welcomed, desired, and had your voice growing even louder for him. “What a good little bitch you are,” He praised, enjoying the way you tightened around him when he said it.

His other hand moved around you to pinch your clit roughly and you suddenly came undone with a cry of pain, gushing more fluids around him. Sanzu worked you through your high, the squelching noises ringing in your ears as he pulled the three now-soaked fingers out.

Before you could properly recover, he grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked it back before shoving the digits into your mouth, forcing you to taste yourself as you gagged. Your whimpers were muffled until he pulled them out, thighs trembling from the orgasm still. You had never done any sort of lewd act in a place where you could easily be found out if someone just happened to check the cameras that were in the main part of the café.

Sanzu pumped himself lazily with his right hand that was now sticky with your saliva to make sure he was nice and hard for when he entered you. Pre cum was already dripping from the small slit at the top of his head and he used it to help lubricate himself further. He let go of your hair with his left and instead used it to wrap around your throat from the front, distracting you with a squeeze before he abruptly entered into you.

You let out another cry at his thickness and the rough slaps of his hips against your ass. He gave you no time to adjust as he moved at a jarring pace, his cock moving smoothly in and out of your wet pussy. “Fuck you’re tight,” he muttered and the words at you tightened your muscles even more around him as he took your breath away with his hand.

“Sanzu,” You mumbled, wanting to ask for mercy but at the same time enjoying the way he was ramming into you. The position you were in allowed for him to reach in deeply, nearly hitting your cervix as his wild thrusts only sped up at the sound of his name. He was grunting and moaning in a ragged voice that sounded like music to your ears. You had no idea that you could get off to the sounds a guy could make during sex, but then again you didn’t even know that sex could be like this.

He had to hold your body up as you moaned with the force of another orgasm, cooing in your ear about what a good baby you were, fucking you through it so thoroughly that you were seeing stars from the overstimulation. It was only seconds later that he was filling you up with his hot cum.

Your grip on the shelving in front of you loosened as he quickly pulled out so that he could catch you in his arms. He chuckled, something malicious hidden in the melodious sound. He was surprised how he had been able to reduce you to putty in such a short amount of time, “We’re going to have so much fun.”

It wasn’t long after crossing one line, you found yourself crossing others. You fell deeper and deeper into sexual mischief with your newfound lover. The thrill of possibly getting caught, losing it all over an incredibly unstable man was more than you could ever resist. He started coming into the café on every off day with a new way to torture you into even further submission.

Today he had decided to convince you to insert two small remote-controlled vibrators into you, one in your delicate pussy and the other into your ass. It was your first experience with anal play and having an object up your rectum felt strange and intrusive at first. However, as soon as he turned the tiny silicone toy on, the discomfort melted away.

He had you make his usual favorite parfait, testing out the controls as he did so. You tried to keep a straight face as he sat at the back table, spoon in his mouth as he turned the intensity up and down. He continued to do this as customers came steadily throughout the next hour.

The buzz was ringing so loudly in your ears that you were sure the nicely dressed man in front of you could hear it. You had already came twice and were definitely on the verge of hitting your peak again. You prayed that he’d be gone before that happened, knowing you wouldn’t be able to stop the sounds that would come out of your mouth.

“Is that all for you today, Sir?” You all but gasp out, thighs clenching together as you handed the customer his change and his frozen yogurt. Keeping your voice in line while having both holes stimulated seemed completely impossible at first, but somehow you had adapted quickly to it. The thought of being caught had your face so incredibly hot that if someone touched you they may have thought you were suffering from a fever.

“No, no, that’s it.” He said, giving a perplexed look, “Are you alright? You seem distressed.” He gave her a look over, not noticing anything that seemed out of the ordinary besides that her legs seemed to be trembling.

“Oh I’m fine, it’s just a little hot out today.” You stammered, just wanting him to hurry up and leave as you felt yourself teetering on that edge of bliss. Your clit throbbed for stimulation and you were sure to give in as soon as he left the store.

He nodded, giving a small smile before turning to leave. As soon as his back turned your hand moved up your skirt to rub furious circles around your bud, releasing a muffled cry as you clamped a hand over your mouth. The only thing that could be heard was Sanzu laughing maniacally at your pathetic whimpers.

He was still giggling as he locked the front door and went around the counter. You watched, heart thumping wildly at the thought of losing your job as he hiked up your short skirt. You glanced at the camera overhead, knowing it was recording but somehow not caring. He pulled the vibe out of your cunt and held it up, looking at the drenched and dripping toy with a twisted smile.

“Would you look at that?” He teased before quickly tugging his pants and boxers down just enough to pull out his hardened cock. You obediently bent over the counter, wanting nothing more than for him to be stuffed deep inside of you, filling you up with his seed as you came yet again.

Sanzu cocked his head to the side, “Need something, love?” He teased and you let out a desperate whimper, nodding your head. “Use your words,” He threatened, collecting your spilled juices with the head of his penis.

You whined, squeezing around nothing but air as you began to bed, “Please fuck me, Sanzu.” You muttered, quietly at first until he hit your ass with a stinging slap. “Please fill my slutty hold with your cum, Master.”

He dove right in. How could he deny his favorite little plaything? He pulled one of your arms behind your back as he began to thrust faster, not even caring if someone were to peek in through the clear door. You could easily be seen by pedestrians passing by on the sidewalks out front, but the need for another orgasm was overpowering your need for decency.

Sanzu cut the vibe in your ass all the way up and his name came out in a messy moan that satisfied him more than having his dick buried in you. He could feel the vibrations through that thin wall that separated the two holes and was pleased with how much it enhanced his pleasure as well.

He hunched over, pinning you down to the counter with his body as he continued to rut his hips in a fast, tight motion. He kissed the back of your neck lightly before biting roughly, leaving a mark to show the world who you belonged to - Bonten’s number two, one of the most dangerous criminals in all of Japan. Whoever messed with you would pay a very hefty price.

Drool spilled out of your mouth and puddled beneath you, tears streaming down to join in as you sobbed from overstimulation. Certainly, you’d break if you came again. Certainly, you’d lose your mind once and for all and become nothing more than a mindless sex doll. Certainly…

The orgasm was more intense than the last, possibly the most ecstatic one you’ve ever had. You jerked beneath him, hips moving with fervor as you tried to work your way through the madness that was encompassing your thoughts. Sanzu kissed away your tears, turning down the vibrator but not before cumming inside of you.

The next day you were fired.

Hot wet tears had flooded down your face as you called your boyfriend, devastated despite knowing the possible consequences of your actions. Sanzu had been amused at first until you recited what the owner had said to you. Then he was out for blood, but not before consoling you and promising to make it up to you. He wasn’t totally heartless after all.

You knew by now that he had more money imaginable, more than he possibly knew what to do with, and he had always toyed with the idea of having a sugar baby. A little sweet thing to have on-demand whenever he needed them. You could easily work off your debt with any hold he yearned for that. Coming back home after a long night of helping run a criminal enterprise to fuck his frustrations out sounded like heaven.

The bills looming over your head were more than enough incentive to make you agree. He immediately moved you into his penthouse, something bigger than you’d ever seen before. It was kept clean thanks to an exhausted maid that came almost daily. He had to pay her extra to clean up the used needles he sometimes left lying around.

Once you began living a life of luxury, you knew you could never stop. If all it took was to take funny tasting pills that your new sugar daddy fed you, then that was what you’d do. They’d make you so hot you thought you’d melt right into you him as he kissed you. Made you too dizzy to walk straight and gave you the best orgasms money could buy. What wasn’t there to love?

You were Sanzu’s little fuck toy and you wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.

Cross-posted on AO3 under Shinsotired. Requests are currently open!

[shadowedmoonlight]

3 Times Virgil Came Out to Others + 1 Time Someone Came Out to Him

I am aware that I am a few hours late, but this is the longest oneshot I've ever written

Day 3: Coming out

Warnings: Food mention, talk of sexual attraction (In regards to asexuality), anxiety, disassociation (brief)

Summary: In which the story gains a plot ft. fluff and hurt/comfort

Word count: 4025

Read on Ao3

Masterlist

1.

Virgil hadn’t been this terrified in a long time. He knew that being gay shouldn’t be that big of a deal, in regards to his two gay fathers, but he couldn’t stop the terrifying thoughts from running through their head.

What if they thought he was too young to have figured himself out? They were only fifteen after all. Is he even sure they're gay? And what would they think about the pronouns thing? Vigil had no idea where their dads stood on transgender rights.

They had planned to do it after dinner. That way he could have one last dinner of peace in the unlikely event of something going wrong. It's more likely than you think they’re gonna kick you out, you’re gonna have to live on the streets

Emile had made spinach lasagna that night. Virgil’s favorite. But he could hardly enjoy it due to the nerves stirring in his stomach. Instead, he moved the food around on his plate and attempted to pay attention to the conversation occurring before him.

He believed his dad was telling some dramatic story about some lady that came into the coffee shop. They normally would be completely invested in that sort of thing, but they just couldn’t focus with all the thoughts running around his head.

What is he gonna do if he gets kicked out? They can’t live on the streets. He can barely work a stove. How would he live on his own? Maybe Remus or Janus would take him in? No, they have their own problems. They shouldn’t burden them with his own problems. But how would he-

“Virgil? What do you think?” A voice cut through his spiral.

“Hm- wha-?” Virgil couldn’t recall for the life of them what he was supposed to be responding to. He looked up to see his parents both looking at him concernedly.

“You feeling okay, hon? It's not like you to space out like that,” Emile asked.

Virgil winced. He had to learn to be less obvious to when they were stressed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

They still looked doubtful. “Are you sure?” Remy raised an eyebrow.

Virgil nodded and tried for a small smile. He didn’t think it was successful, however, when his parents exchanged a worried glance. His leg bounced slightly under the table. Why couldn’t they relax?

Emile started to collect the dishes but paused when their eyes landed on Virgil’s still-full plate. He glanced again at their husband, and then their son.

“Maybe you should head to bed early tonight. You hardly touched your food. You might be coming down with something.” Virgil saw Remy stand up as his Papa spoke. He offered them a hand.

“Babes, I think that might be a good idea. You’re looking a bit pale- well, paler than usual with all that foundation you cake on. Don’t think I don’t notice.” Virgil blushed, slightly. His experimentation with makeup had been one of his ways to tone down their glaring masculinity.

In response to the first statement, maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to put this off another day. They weren’t sure they had enough energy or confidence to go through with this. With a little hesitation, they grabbed Remy's hand and hauled himself to their feet.

Emile smiled sadly at their son’s submissiveness. He had to have been really tired with the way his eyes kept wandering. They abandoned the dishes they were holding, grabbed his other hand, and started leading Remy and Virgil upstairs.

Virgil blinked and suddenly he was in their room. They sat between his parents on his bed. Emile had them leaning against their side as Remy rubbed soft circles into his back. His eyes darted around in confusion.

Remy glanced down and let out a sigh of relief. “Welcome back to this plane of existence.”

Emile smacked their husband lightly. “Sorry baby, we didn’t want to leave you alone while you were disassociating.” Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. They didn’t remember going into an episode.

Remy kissed his forehead and stood up. “We’ll leave you to your peace now. Let us know if you need anything.” Emile began to follow.

Virgil bit their lip. Was he really going to go through all this stress just to chicken out? He took a breath. He was strong. They could do this.

“Wait,” they called out, lightly. “I need to talk to you about something.” His parents halted in their place in the doorway and came back to sit next to them.

“What is it, babe? Did something happen?” Remy grabbed one of his hands.

“No, not exactly,” Virgil said. His breath was starting to stutter.

“Take your time,” Emile said, softly.

Virgil attempted to calm their breathing. It's highly unlikely that this will have a bad outcome, half of his brain rationalized. They are gay themselves, after all.

Yeah, but what about the pronoun thing? The other half argued. You have no idea what they’ll think of it.

Virgil took another deep breath and opened his mouth to speak. They may as well start with the easy one. “I’m… I’m gay.”

Remy placed a hand on his chest and sighed dramatically. “Oh thank god,” he exclaimed. “I’m not sure I could have handled it if I had to raise a straight son.”

Emile smacked him again. Virgil winced slightly at the word ‘son.’ Remy seemed to notice his discomfort and scooted closer. “Of course we love and accept you and everything, but that's all kind of obvious considering, well,” he lifted his hand as wiggled his ring finger, “Is there something else on your mind?”

Virgil nodded, “I, um, want to start using different pronouns. He/they.”

Emile lit up. “Ooh, we can match!”

Virgil’s head shot up. “What?”

Both Emile and Remy looked confused for a second before a horrifying realization dawned on them.

“Did I- never tell you I’m non-binary?” Emile asked, tentativly. They were sure they told Virgil at some point.

Virgil couldn’t help themself. He started to laugh hysterically. After a moment their parents joined in.

“I’m sorry- I just- I’m fifteen years old and you never thought to tell me that vital piece of information?” Virgil wiped tears from his eyes as he continued to giggle.

Emile was bright red. “Trust me, I’m mortified.”

Remy groaned. “That makes two of us.”

Virgil snorted. “I was so worried about how’d you react and this whole time you’re the same thing.”

“Oh honey,” Emile exclaimed. “You should never be worried about telling us something. We support you no matter what.”

“Of course,” Remy added. “What kind of hypocrites would we be if we said otherwise?”

Virgil pulled them both into a hug. “You’re the best parents anyone could ask for.”

2.

Sanders High School had an interesting dynamic. There were two main groups that everyone at school was invested majorly in. Most, if not all, of the gossip in school was directed at them. They were envied. They were hated. They were idolized. They were the closest thing Sanders High ever had to celebrities. The Dark Sides and The Light Sides.

Everyone that saw them would assume they were the rivals. Bickering and prank wars were constant. Classroom debates between members could last hours if not moderated. Each group consisted of three members.

First up is Roman Prince, the flamboyant jock and theater nerd. He was the first kid at school to break through harmful gender stereotypes. Before he came to school, any boy that joined theater was seen as weak and nerdy. Roman was the first openly gay kid on the football team- as quarterback no less- and the first jock to join the drama program. He was unapologetically himself in everything he did. He often came to school in skirts and dresses and there was rarely a day he could be seen without his signature red lipstick. Despite his smashing of stereotypes, Roman is the only cis kid in both the light and dark sides (not that everyone is out to the school like he is, or even to each other). He has the most social media followers out of anyone in the school, and was the one to first publicize the two groups. Roman is a proud member of The Light Sides.

Next is Patton Hart, the bubbly, adorable student council president. Everybody loved Patton and they loved everybody. Patton is one of the kindest kids in the school. He’s always willing to drop everything to help somebody or cheer someone up. They met Roman when they were young and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Some might say they’re dating, but a select few know otherwise.

Last in The Light Sides is Logan Berry. Logan is objectively the smartest kid in school. He is rumored to be taking all AP classes. How that’s possible, no one knows. Everyone knows that Logan will be Valedictorian at the end of the year. There’s no other logical choice. Somehow, even with all that, they also manage to be co-captain of the debate club. Patton and Roman somehow managed to rope them into their small group sometime during elementary school. Again, how that’s possible, no one knows. Logan is extremely stone-faced to people they're not close with. Some think he might be a robot with how emotionless he is most of the time. Those people, however, have never seen him with a jar of Crofters. (But if they knew their secret, everyone would think so).

Over in the dark sides, we have Janus Lies. Genderfluid icon. Their coming out started a revolution of sorts at Sanders High. So many kids came out as non-binary or genderfluid or something in between, the school ended up getting rid of gendered bathrooms entirely. A new genderfluid locker room was built in the PE building and the academic teachers revised their gendered way of teaching. But, back to Janus. They were the most sarcastic person you’d ever meet. So much so, it became difficult for people to tell if they were telling the truth. Their trademark hat and gloves stayed on no matter what the occasion. They also co-captained the debate club with Logan. They grouped together with Remus and Virgil before anyone could remember, including the three dark sides.

Remus Prince, twin of Roman Prince, is the extremely crude drama student and class clown. They are known for their dark sense of humor and sexual disruptions of class. The teachers have learned to just ignore them, as countless trips to detention were fruitless in correcting their behavior. Although they privately came out before Janus, they were more private socially when it came to their gender. Until that is, Janus came out and was accepted. After that, Remus showed no limits in expressing themself.

Lastly, there is Virgil Picani, the emo nightmare themself. He is in almost every club at school, including but not limited to drama, debate, GSA, writing, and volunteering. His sarcastic personality is no stranger to anybody, although it is much more subdued than Janus’s. Virgil came out to Janus and Remus before he had even fully figured himself out yet. He had not, however, come out to any of the light sides as gay or genderqueer.

And that brings us to today. As mentioned earlier, anyone that saw the two groups would assume they had a strong rivalry. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The reality is, although they did start out as rivals, the six of them have a strong friendship. They keep up the facade of competitors for sake of reputation (and a little fun never hurt anybody). Once Roman and Remus had gotten over their sibling rivalry, the six of them had discovered that they shared many of the same interests. They started hanging out after school and now it is rare to see one of the group without another.

Virgil knows that he has nothing to worry about. Roman is gay, and both Patton and Logan already use he/they pronouns. They accepted Janus and Remus without question. It won’t be any different for him. All they actually had to do was tell them.

But here lies the issue. Virgil thought they had already. It wasn’t until the first day of pride month that he realized their mistake.

They decided to make pronoun pins for all the kids in GSA. So, naturally, he made one for himself as well. They weren't publicly out yet, but it was perfectly okay for them to wear them inside the safety that was the gay-straight alliance.

Virgil was struggling to attach his pin to their shirt when Janus came over to help. Virgil noted the blue bracelet. Janus looked surprised as he read the contents of the pin.

“You told them?” He asked, incredulously. “I thought you would tell me when you finally did it.”

Virgil was confused. “What do you mean? I came out to them… shoot.”

Janus snorted. “You totally don’t need to tell them. This isn’t getting out of hand at all.”

Virgil blushed red. “I honestly thought I did! I’ll do it now, okay?”

They didn’t wait for a response before marching over to Roman, Logan, and Patton and dragging them outside of the classroom. He ignored the curious looks of their classmates, most likely wondering what they were fighting about this time.

They closed the door behind them and looked around quickly, making sure there was no one else around. He turned back to the group that was looking at him, slightly concerned.

Virgil rolled their eyes at their expressions. “Oh calm down, I just forgot to tell you something, is all.”

Logan cleared their throat and straightened up. “And that is?”

“I genderqueer, he/they, and gay.”

“Yay!” Patton exclaimed and pulled him into a hug. “I’m proud of you for being yourself.”

Patton pulled back and Virgil caught the expressions of the other two. Logan was looking at him with a delighted expression on their face. “I had my suspicions.”

Roman furrowed his brows. “So did I, but I must ask, why wait so long to tell us? Surely you knew that we would accept you wholeheartedly.”

Virgil snorted. “I actually did the same thing my Papa did with me. I thought I told you all ages ago.” They all laughed at that.

“We should probably get back,” Logan remarked, “Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us this.”

3.

Virgil felt nervous, but not extremely so.

He knew nothing would go wrong. So many kids had come out in the past year at Sanders High, the school had made pronoun pins mandatory to avoid misgendering. All they had to do was wear the new pin he had grabbed from the office the day before. He also planned to wear a rainbow shirt to identify themself as the flaming homosexual he is.

The only real thing they were worried about would be the gossip surrounding them for the next week or so. Someone coming out is hardly a rare occurrence, but they were one of the most popular kids in school. He was certain that there were at least a few bets going around school on whether they were queer or not. To be fair, he was the only member of the Light and Dark sides to never confirm any rumors about gender or sexuality. And it's not as if he’s really hid anything. He’s just never confirmed.

But they’re ready to change that. They pull on their rainbow shirt, do their makeup slightly more dramatic than usual, and debate for a moment over the plaid purple skirt his dads had gotten him a few years ago. It matched his usual hoodie perfectly, but he had yet to wear it outside the house. There was no reason not to wear it. Why not spend his first day publicly out AGAP (as gay as possible)?

They arrive at school with an air of confidence around them that he hadn’t felt in a while. As he walked through the hallways, he saw a few looks of disappointment, but most were of excitement and joy. They caught a few thumbs up and cheers in the crowd as well.

He found the other two members of the Dark Sides standing at Virgil’s locker, both wearing identical looks of pride as they stared at him. They walked directly up to the pair, smirking slightly. Once he was within earshot, Remus grasped their head with one hand and Janus’s shoulder, striking a dramatic pose.

“Do you see that Jan Jan? Our little slime monster is all grown up!” Virgil rolled their eyes at their best friend’s antics. Janus lifted their wrist to show off her pink band. Despite the new rule about pronoun pins, Janus still kept her bracelet system in place. She claimed it to be simpler and more efficient.

She slung her arm around Virgil’s shoulders. She leaned in and said in a low voice, “I really am proud of you.”

Remus jumped on his back. “That makes two of us!”

+1

Virgil had always enjoyed Logan’s company. They were the only person out of the group of six that allowed him some peace.

He could also be a captivating conversation partner. Listening to Logan ramble on about whatever he was currently studying was one of Virgil's favorite pastimes. The way his eyes lit up when you asked him about something they were interested in was adorable. And his voice would take on this gorgeous tone to it that Virgil knows not many people get to hear.

Their weekly study session was the thing that Virgil looked forward to the most. Every Thursday, they get to spend hours in a room with the most beautiful person he knows. They love the way Logan will straighten his tie or fix his hair even when they’re both immaculate. He loves the way they slowly and patiently explain the answer to something Virgil gets wrong, never criticizing them or getting frustrated.

Virgil may have developed an itty bitty crush on them over the years.

Not that they will ever tell him. They don’t even know where he stands on sexuality. He has only been open about their gender. And he doesn’t want to complicate their relationship for the sake of some silly crush.

The two of them sat in Virgil’s room doing homework. Logan sat on their bed, while Virgil had opted for the floor. They had hardly spoken a word to each other in the past few hours (a normal occurrence for their weekly get-togethers), but Virgil could tell something was bothering Logan. They’d been fidgeting for the past hour or so, and had seemed tense and nervous all day.

Virgil placed their bookmark into his book and groaned loudly. “If I have to read one more word of this, I think my eyes might literally start bleeding.”

Logan also marked their page before looking up. “That is highly unlikely. The amount of force that would cause one's eyeballs to ‘literally’ start bleeding is far more than would be caused by eye strain. Additionally, subconjunctival hemorrhage has not been linked to overuse and is instead usually caused by some sort of trauma to the eye. So unless you are planning to hit yourself in the face with the book, it will not cause your eyes to hemorrhage.”

Virgil huffed a laugh, internally cooing at how adorable they are when explaining something. “I guess you’re right. I can’t read anymore though.”

Logan cleaning their glasses on the edge of his shirt. “I agree with that statement.”

Virgil looked at him closely. Cleaning their glasses is a sort of nervous tick for him. And they had done it multiple times in the last hour. “Okay, what's going on? You’ve been nervous and weird all afternoon.”

Logan cleared his throat. “Nothing of importance.”

“So there is something!” Virgil exclaimed.

They blanched. “No, of course not. What would be wrong at the moment?”

Virgil gave them a look. “I never said that there was something wrong.”

Logan stood up quickly and started gathering his materials. “Well, it’s getting late. I must head home now in order to be at dinner at an adequate time.”

Virgil grabbed their arm. “Wait, Logan, there’s still hours until you need to leave. If you really don’t want to talk about whatever’s bothering you, we don’t have to. But if you do, I’m here and ready to listen.”

Logan shot them a grateful look. “I truly appreciate that Virgil. I will keep your offer in mind.”

They resumed their study positions and all was silent for a few minutes. Virgil couldn’t keep their mind off of Logan. He hoped that whatever was troubling him could be resolved easily. He didn’t want him to be distressed.

Eventually, Logan stiffly placed his books beside him and turned to their study partner. At the shift in movement, Virgil also put away their materials and prepared to listen, moving to sit next to them on their bed.

“I would like you to not speak until I am done speaking if that is acceptable for you.” Virgil immediately agreed. They would never interrupt him when they were having such a serious conversation.

“My sincerest gratitude. I-” Logan paused. They took a stuttering breath. Virgil reached out and took his hand, attempting to provide some form of comfort.

“I am not a robot. I know that there are some that may think otherwise. Aside from the vast technological inaccuracies in that statement, contrary to popular belief, I do have emotions. I do experience love. Just not in the same way as others do. From a young age, I have known that I have felt no sexual attraction. The idea of sex repulsed me far more than I can explain, even past the age of maturity. I have no desire to love anybody in that way. And I never will.

“I was under the impression that the same went for romantic attraction. I had never felt any sort of romantic feelings for a female. But recent… variables have shown me otherwise. I do not feel any romantic attraction for people of the female gender or sex. I do, however, experience attraction to people of the same gender. These people fall under the male and non-binary spectrum. In conclusion, I am asexual and homoromantic. I am finished, you may speak now.”

Virgil was delighted by the news. They had just confirmed that his crush could possibly be attracted to him. They didn’t care about the asexual part. It changed none of his feelings towards the academic prodigy.

They made the mistake of staying silent for a moment too long. That became evident when he looked at Logan’s face. Any positive feelings he had melted into concern.

“Oh, Lo,” they said softly, “You’re crying.” He brought his hand to Logan’s cheek and wiped away the silent tears that had trickled down with their thumb.

Logan's voice wobbled as they spoke. “My apologies.”

“No,” Virgil cooed, “you have nothing to apologize for. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re accepting yourself and I am so proud of you for that.”

That seemed to be all it would take for their dam to break. Soft sobs escaped his mouth and he brought up a hand to try to muffle them.

Virgil made a sympathetic noise and wrapped them up in their arms. He cupped the back of Logan’s neck with one hand and used the other to rub soothing circles into his back. Logan gripped their hoodie tightly as they cried into their shoulder.

Virgil whispered quiet words of encouragement to him. Eventually, Logan seemed to finally be calming down. His tears dwindled into quiet sniffles and they sagged into his chest. The emotional exhaustion of the day in addition to the exergy expelled by crying made him unbelievably tired.

Virgil shifted the two so they were lying down on his bed, Logan cuddled against their chest. They could feel his breaths evening out rapidly.

Virgil pressed a small kiss into his forehead, wishing more than anything that they could do it when Logan could remember.

Let me know if you want to be added to the non-existent tag list!

[fredersen]

today i got an idea for a comic/zine with the premise of the maria robot from metropolis being sentient and a trans guy and it’s been occupying my brain for the last ~hour and i need to get it out somehow

and idk if i’m necessarily prepared for everything that comes with writing a Problematic Trans Narrative but the potential in a character taking “gender envy” to its logical extreme by literally stealing another man’s body is too damn good to ignore

[vicecityhq]

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: flickering neon lights, the sound of static, retro video games. With a slight resemblance to HAN JISUNG of/the STRAY KIDS.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: Nam Jaejin ALIAS: Crypto Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Earth Age: 21 Date of Birth: January 31st, 2000 Gender: Male Preferred Pronouns: He/him, they/them Species: Cyborg Occupation: Bookkeeper of the Howlers, university student, hacker Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Tan Eye color: Brown, with a blue/purple tint at times   Scars: Surgery scars where his enhancements have been added; in his right arm and chest area. Piercings: Right eyebrow, both earlobes Tattoos: When he is not actively using his enhancements, the mechanical arm silhouette on his right arm resembles a tattoo. (x) Hair color: Currently black with white highlights. Abnormalities: Added technological right arm and metallic elements to the right side of his chest. these enhancements affect most of his body/internal system as well (namely his lungs). he has human brains, but they are affected by the technorganic physiology as well. Horns/ wings/ etc: none Transformed form: His technological arm mostly looks like a tattoo to someone who doesn’t know any better. While actively using his abilities, his right arm and chest begin to glow with a blue/purple light and resemble more of a robotic arm/chest. This glow might affect his eyes as well.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF:  Raised Catholic, later turned atheist SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  / lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: Korean (native, dialectal at times), English (mostly fluent), Latin (basics) SECRETS: He has been behind a lot of major hackings towards the government/other significant parties during the last few years. Jaejin will usually attempt to blend in with “normal” humans and civilians, trying to hide both his cyborg-ness as well as his gang affiliation.   SAVVIES: Technology, computer science, hacking, mathematics, video games, planning Powers & Abilities: Technorganic physiology, technology manipulation Traits: + quick-witted - aloof Aesthetics: Flickering neon lights, the sound of static, retro video games

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: January 31st, 2000

Date of Death: -

Crime Record: Multiple hackings against many different significant figures/parties, as well as countless smaller hackings. Involvement in gang activities, mostly relating to fundings. He hasn’t been found guilty for any of these crimes yet, but he is also aware that his record might not stay clean forever.  

Background/Biography:

Born to a wealthy upper-class family in Busan during a cold January, Jaejin was, at first, anything like most kids. He had a younger sister. He had loving parents (albeit ones who had their expectations raised sky-high from the very beginning). And he had a few people around him he could even call friends. The kid was a little shy, a little nerdy, but nothing short of pure and kind towards the ones he cared about. His childhood was a little uneventful, but a happy one regardless.

Jaejin was nearing the age of ten when the unfortunate accident occurred. It was a dark October evening, heavy rain making it nearly impossible to see clearly. Jaejin was returning home from a friend’s house, hurrying down the street as the rain continued to increase.  The kid decided to cross the street, thinking of the Nintendo Gameboy console waiting for him at home. The sound of brakes screeching against the wet asphalt made him halt where he stood. It was all blinding light and the loud howling of a truck’s horn before everything went black.  

Jaejin barely survived the hit, perhaps by some miracle. What didn’t survive was the majority of his right arm. Most of his chest was looking quite vile too, having endured a hit that no human tissue really could. Some of his organs, namely his lungs, were damaged nearly beyond repair. He was barely breathing, only making it with the help of the beeping machines of the hospital. Jaejin’s parents, shocked and shaken up by the whole thing, quickly began to pull strings and search for methods for him to make it. It was a question of any means at that point. A decision that they would perhaps come to regret later.

The boy was taken to a private clinic that specialized in cybernetic surgeries. It was supposed to be just about repairing the parts of him that no longer worked as well as life required. But Jaejin’s surgeon was a charismatic man of science, and was able to convince the higher class family that some small enhancements to his body wouldn’t hurt. The Nam family was eminently very unaware of the lengths that some cybernetic surgeons went in the name of science and test-runs. So when Jaejin awoke some twenty hours later, he was no longer the same boy at all.  

It wasn’t evident, at first. But over the years it became apparent that something had shifted after the surgery. The once very warm boy became aloof, often struggling to empathize with people. In turn he became intelligent in a way he necessarily wasn’t before. Jaejin's emotions weren’t completely shut-off by any means. He felt things, sometimes even strongly, but not always in the way others expected him to. And the boy was ashamed and alone with his thoughts. It wasn’t until years later, during his high school years, that Jaejin discovered the things that he was actually capable of.  Accessing and controlling different technological components became something Jaejin got kicks out of, a different kind of excitement filling him for the first time after the enhancement surgery. And so what if hacking things was illegal? It enabled Jaejin to have control and power. It enabled him to have pride in himself.

After high school, once Jaejin had already enrolled in university to study computer engineering, an acquaintance approached him after a mathematics class. Even at first glance the young man could tell that the things he was about to be told were not something he could tell anyone else. He was asked to follow the man to a place he would later know to be the Howler’s headquarters. His skills and savvies were something they took interest in. And though Jaejin was nothing short of unsure about the offer, he figured he could stay around for a while. Even if only to help the gang with their poor money management skills out of pure curiosity.  

So that was what Jaejin became – a gifted, witty student by day, and a hacker and gang member by night. He had gone by the codename Crypto even before affiliating himself with the Howlers, so it was natural that he also used that alias in his gang endeavors. Jaejin, having taken distance from his family a long time ago, was surprisingly willing to be included in a gang of all things. Maybe it was the things the gang did and provided him with that gave him a sort of thrill and excitement otherwise lacking in his life. Or maybe being a part of a group made him feel a little bit more human again.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

Jaejin was, for the lack of a better word, in quite a robotic state.

Again, it wasn’t that the man didn't feel anything at the question. Sure he did: he felt annoyance at the fact that he had to be sitting there, in the police station, when he could be tackling his microcomputer architecture project due in a few days. But Jin also knew that it wasn’t really the typical emotion to be feeling while being questioned by an officer. Especially not if you were innocent (and he was, technically speaking).  

“It all happened so fast”, he said instead. He was trying to summon some feelings of shock and maybe even sorrow. Jaejin knew those to be the typical feelings of a civilian witnessing a gunfight, after all. Except in this case it was more of him being in the wrong place at the wrong time, not so much the fact that he hadn’t seen it before. It had been people from the Howlers, though; a fight against some other gang members (for reasons the man frankly didn’t know). And Jaejin had just happened to be there as the police cars arrived with sirens howling.  

He wasn’t going to say any of that though. Jaejin wasn’t about to snitch on his gang members, not if he had nothing to fear. And as far as he knew, none of the scouts involved had actually been caught. The police had nothing on the situation. So he continued to speak in a manner that, in hindsight, was probably too calm for someone who didn’t know anything.  This might come and bite him back at some point. “All I know that there were people in black, many of them. I didn’t really see their faces, probably a gang or something. Suddenly there was a loud noise of gunfire and that’s the part where I ran to the back of the warehouse.” Out of nowhere, Jaejin felt actual emotions surging to the surface. “I was... afraid”, he whispers in a small voice, “I didn’t want to get hurt. To die.”  

Except it wasn’t really his own life he was afraid for. Jaejin found himself back in the situation, the same emotions rushing through him. He was afraid for them. For his own gang members. For better or for worse, the people who accepted him when no one else had. For the first time in a long time, Jaejin was afraid of losing someone (not that he would admit it out loud, though).

[younggayanddoingokay]

So I’ve binge-watched the entirety of the good place in the last twelve hours and I have some thoughts. Makes more sense if you ALSO watch B99

1. I am gay for Tahani. Also gay in general, but gayer for Tahani.

2. Derrick from GP and Pimento from B99- exact same character. Nothing has changed but the name.

3. Elle and Tahani- perfect. Incredible. Sooooo hot. Elle and Chidi- cute, adorable, precious. Chidi and Tahani- don’t see them being as romantic but they can bond over their shared love for Elle- it’s cool. I can and will have both my ships don’t judge me- you’re not Jen OR her envy burrito so shut the fork up.

4. Jason is somehow the least AND most impressive of the group- I mean, getting Janet the ROBOT to fall in love with him- perfect (yes, I know she’s not *technically* a robot- again, you’re not Jen).

5. Also love that Janet doesn’t have a binary gender and repeatedly asserts this.

6. Kevin/Shawn (he’ll always be Kevin to me tbh) makes a fantastic demon lord of darkness and somehow his character has not really shifted that far from, well, Kevin.

7. Ya basic!~ Ya boring! And it is PERFECTION!

8. Michael was never cut out to be a demon- as evidenced by the fact that he literally undid all of time’s worth of demon-thinking in the space of like, a few months. Also, side note- Michael Schur, who created the show, named the architect/creator of the minu-universe after HIMSELF how forking cool is that?! It’s like the perfect mix of ballsy and like, adorkable.

9. Also hot for vicki ngl.

10. Diverse cast without feeling like they were doing it to pander- this is how all shows should be. A+

11. The fact that they showed the effects that shitty parenting had on both Elleanor and Tahani was huge and extremely well done- Elle had to care for herself because her parents gave zero shits about her and she was emancipated at like, fifteen and that effected her, but Tahani, who supposedly had everything was also a victim of neglect and emotional abuse from her parents, and the way they put everything she did under a microscope and constantly withheld their approval was as bad in its own way as what Elle went through and as a victim of childhood abuse that was sort of a mix of the two and I loved that the show touched on that and its effects on people.

12. In short, the show was forking awesome and you should watch it. Also watch B99, ya dingus.

Also, as a postscript- still can’t say or spell Elle’s last name.

[warpcdrcalitics]

NAME: Rhys NICKNAME: Mr. Roboto, Hyperion, Mr. Ten Million Dollars, Rhysie, Kiddo, etc.  GENDER: Male. AGE: 27 (can be younger or older in certain verses) DATE OF BIRTH: March 26 OCCUPATION: Middle manager, Atlas CEO (verse dependent)

██▒ APPEARANCE

EYE COLOR:  Brown and Blue (ECHO-Eye) (Becomes gold in the post-game verse), natural heterochromia in modern verses. HAIR COLOR: Brown HEIGHT: 6'0 (give or take) SCARS: Not very many. He’s got a couple here and there post-game, and it’s likely he may have scarred a tiny bit around his cybernetic arm after forcefully ripping it out.  OVERWEIGHT: A little, the arm adds some. UNDERWEIGHT: No. 

██▒ FAVORITE

COLOR: Blues. ANIMAL/S: He’s a robot guy tbh. lol MOVIE/S: -- TV SHOW: -- FOOD: He’s a huge sucker for ice cream.  DRINK: Coffee. BOOK: Reading? pfff. (He’s probably a biography or sci-fi person tbh)

██▒ HAVE THEY

PASSED UNIVERSITY: Yes.  HAD SEX: Yes. HAD SEX IN PUBLIC: No. GOTTEN PREGNANT: No. KISSED A BOY: No, but he’s certainly thought about it. KISSED A GIRL: Yes. GOTTEN TATTOOS: Yep. He’s got one on his neck and a large one on his chest and down his arm.  HAD A BROKEN HEART: ...yeah.  BEEN IN LOVE: Not really.  STAYED UP FOR MORE THAN 24 HOURS: Yes. 

██▒ ARE THEY

A VIRGIN: No, believe it or not.  A KISSER: He can be, yeah. If his partner’s into it.  SCARED EASILY: Yeah... JEALOUS EASILY: Mmm. More envy than jealousy, but sometimes.  TRUSTWORTHY: Generally, he can be, but it depends sometimes.  IN LOVE: No. (Verse dependent) SINGLE: Yes. (Verse dependent)

██▒ RANDOM QUESTIONS

HAVE THEY HARMED THEMSELVES: He’s never gotten so depressed he’s resorted to self harm, though he has removed his own cybernetics (eye and arm) to get the H/andsome Jack AI out of his system.  THOUGHT OF SUICIDE: Not really.  ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: No. WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE: Yes. DROVE A CAR: Yes. HAVE/HAD A JOB: Yes. HAVE ANY FEARS: Yes. Heights, the vertigo makes him ill. He also has a slight fear of abandonment, not that he can’t deal with it and he has. 

██▒ FAMILY

SIBLINGS: None. He was enough of a handful for his parents. PARENTS: His mother passed during his early years in college, and he’s estranged from his father and they have a rocky relationship.  CHILDREN: None. PETS: Dumpy, though that’s verse dependent. 

Tagged: @vintagewritten Tagging: Anybody, go for it!

[melonoverlord]

Val for all the ABCs asks

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

She’s been tinkering as long as she can remember. Her early childhood is a little fuzzy but she knows she’s been building little robots out of scrap metal and letting them run around town.

2. what activities have they participated in?

She’s the chief technician on the Freedom Vessel and also technically was a spy on Biomia but she was spying for herself rather than an organization.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

Learning how to talk to people. She’s only had her sisters and her eventually girlfriend on Biomia, but now there are people who love her that aren’t like seven and fourteen, so it’s a strange feeling being able to talk about herself without taking care of them.

4. what things are they bad at?

Following orders. She escaped her own quarantine when she was shot four times in the back because she was bored and wanted to celebrate Castor’s birthday with him.

5. what is their most impressive talent?

Definitely designing tech. She worked on B3rT13, Phoebe (the bot, not her sister), Ciri’s tear ducts, Ravi’s arms and legs, and Nivviah’s trident.

B: Basics

1. what is their hair color?

Brown

2. what is their eye color?

Brown, a little darker than her hair.

3. how tall are they?

5′0

4. how old are they?

21

5. how much do they weigh?

185 lbs

C: Comfort

1. how do they sit in a chair?

One leg over each side of the chair, leaned back, arms crossed. She’s a definite manspreader.

2. in what position do they sleep?

In fetal position, hugging herself, sometimes hugging Phoebe as well. If she’s dead tired she’ll just sprawl out anywhere and usually B3rT13 will eventually carry her to bed.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

Snuggled up to Ciri or Castor, her favorite siblings, and watching old horror movies in their pajamas. Anytime Val can get away with not wearing a bra, she will.

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

Strawberry ice cream. It was the first food she was given when she was in the hospital after she tried to commit suicide. It was really when she and Tam became drinking buddies because he said “I know eating food probably will hurt for a bit, so I brought you ice cream.”

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

B3rT13, actually. Ciri’s the best for the physical comforts and reassurance, but B3rT13 is there to say “Hey, you made me and I’m amazing, so fuck you for thinking you’re not amazing too. And if anyone says that you aren’t, I’ll hit them with my hammer.”

D: Decoration

1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

A lot of natural light since she’s a vent gremlin who only gets artificial light from lamps, an entire floor dedicated to being a workshop so she can separate work from home and let all the upstairs be places for her to call her own, including a guest room. She’d also have pictures of her family and friends set up everywhere, even someone silly like the bathroom.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

More blankets and pillows than a child probably needs, a shit ton of plushies that she finds online (and some from Who), and a mini fridge to store enough snacks so that even if something happens to her, her child will never have to go hungry.

3. how do they decorate their own room?

Val’s room on the Freedom Vessel is a #mess, because half of it is split into her workshop. On her side, she shares her bed with Phoebe and at times B3rT13 when he decides to sleep in her room. She also has the only stuffed animal she brought from Biomia, which is a ratty stuffed pig she calls Rumplepigskin.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

She usually wears jeans and a baseball tee, but when she needs to be dressed up, she’ll wear slacks and a blouse. You’d have to tie her down to get her into a dress. But she also wears the beanie that Ciri made her.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

Nah, she usually doesn’t wear makeup or do her nails because when working with metal, paint is easily chipped.

E: External Personality

1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

She is very meticulous about the personality she portrays which is a carefree, somewhat lazy, girl who just happens to be one of the greatest technophiles of the age. If she’s currently dealing with her trauma, those feelings will slip out but for the most part the persona she puts on isn’t who she really is.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Valerie Anne Read has never conformed to the norm and will continue to break away from the norm until the day she gets blown up on some backwater planet.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

Val never really cared what the trends of the time were since they tended to shift every couple months or so. She only tends to follow trends if she enjoys it herself.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

It took her a while because technology is a little behind on Biomia, but once Percy introduced her to the internet, she is on it and catching up as fast as she can. Right now she’s very into space twitter.

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it outon their own?

There are about fourteen different layers to Val that she lets different people figure out. You’d have to know her for a long ass time before she let out everything to you. Even her sisters didn’t know everything about Val’s true feelings.

F: Fun

1. what do they do for fun?

Crawl through vents, play nerf guns with Castor, Ravi, and B3rT13, and teach B3rT13 different swear words and lewd gestures. Right now his favorite word is “cunt”

2. what is their ideal party?

Lots of wine, chocolate, and a nerf gun fight with everyone on the ship. She’s already working on her power poses. She doesn’t super love giant parties, but she’s welcome to one if it has all her friends.

3. who would they have the most fun with?

Her favorite sibs, Castor, Ciri, Flor, and Percy.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Nope. Nearly every rule that the Freedom Vessel has, she has broken. Luna had to make a specific set of rules for Val just because she kept breaking the main ones. One of them is “Stop putting food in the vents even if they don’t expire”

5. do they go out a lot?

She hasn’t gone on a lot of missions (the Therion mission was actually her first one ever), but she went out a lot on Biomia to at least look at the clubs even if she never went in. But she’s very interested in the casino on Helios and is ready to lose her money.

G: Gorgeous

1. what is their most attractive external feature?

She has a beautiful soft butch aesthetic which includes a rad pixie cut that perfectly frame her large brown eyes.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

Even in the tensest of situations, Val can manage to light up a room with her jokes and keep everyone at east. She also has a nice thing to say about everyone, even if it hidden in a joke.

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

You won’t be caught dead without cool tech. Val’s given electric tridents, a sassy robot, electricity-absorbing suits, arms and legs, and yes, she is working secretly on Ravi’s rocket knees. Just don’t tell Ciri. She’s waiting for his ninth birthday.

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

Her hair is one of the softest you will ever see and you will want to run your fingers through her hair for hours. She also loves her chub and makes shabby chic look like a snack.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

That they don’t have to hide pretty much everything about themselves and can have honest relationships.

H: Heat

1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

Cold room. If her room gets to hot all the tech starts to malfunction. It’s easier to heat up tech from the inside than to cool it down.

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Winter. She hates being hot since the summer on Biomia can get sweltering and she had to live outside on a hot metal rollercoaster cart.

3. do they like the snow?

Not really. The only snow she was around was slush, and slush looks nasty, especially with all the dirt on the street.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

Cannonballing into the pool and getting water all over Tam because he complains that his hair’s going to frizz up.

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

She loves building snowpeople. She’s only seen a heavy snowfall once on Biomia where there was actually enough snow not to turn to slush, and she loved building a snowman with Isa and Phoebe. They gave it a carrot dick.

I: In-the-closet

1. what is their sexuality?

Harold, she’s a lesbian.

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

Biomia’s one of the planets that still restricts by sexuality (at least in the legal code), so it was expected that she would have to be with a man. It didn’t take her long to realize that she was much more comfortable being with women.

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

Nope, she’s always been comfortable in her gender. She does tend to dress more masculine than feminine though. She’s a soft butch.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Her sisters never cared about her sexuality, and both of them probably queer as well (though both were too young to act on anything), but all they cared whether about if they were safe and if Valerie was happy.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

She told her sisters when she first starting dating her girlfriend, but really only had to formally come out once, which was a little after she turned sixteen.

J: Joy

1. what makes them happy?

Tinkering in her workshop, eating oreos, crawling through the vents and scaring people, drinking wine and watching trashy TV with Percy and Flor.

2. who makes them happy?

Ciri, Castor, Flor, and Percy. All her favorite brothers and sisters.

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

‘Young Volcanoes’ by Fall Out Boy, ‘Miss Jackson’ by Panic! at the Disco, and ‘It Don’t Mean a Thing’ by Ella Fitzgerald

4. are they happy often?

She hasn’t been happy in years. But she thinks she’s on her way to happiness now that she has more friends.

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

B3rT13 and knowing that her inventions are having positive outcomes.

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?

Yes, and attempted it when she was 17.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

Absolutely. She’s still itching to get back at Biomia for taking her family away from her.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

Honestly, the entire Council of Nine, her ex-girlfriend, and the bitches who shot her in the back on Therion. It’s a good thing Percy and Flor crushed them.

4. who would miss them if they died?

She’s hoping everyone on the Freedom Vessel, but she thinks Ciri, Castor, Flor, and Percy would probably be the most heartbroken.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

Pretty much everyone who had a hand in her sisters’ murders.

L: Lemons

1. what is their favorite fruit?

Strawberries. She loves strawberry anything.

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Pomegranates. For some reason her mind always goes to spider eggs.

3. are there any foods they hate?

Pickles are still un-fucking-valid, no matter what anyone says. And that’s the tea.

4. do they have any food intolerances?

Dairy. Does it stop her from eating dairy? Absolutely not.

5. what is their favorite food?

Strawberry short cake.

M: Maternal

1. would they want a daughter or a son?

She already kinda had two daughters, so she’d be chill with any kid.

2. how many children do they want?

No more than 2 or 3. She doesn’t know how Ciri has like fourteen kids.

3. would they be a good parent?

She doesn’t look it, but Val did a great job raising Phoebe and Isa, a few mistakes regarding trust aside.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

A son, she’d probably name it after Castor or Perseus, but she could also see him being called Roman (after her name of Valerie). For a girl, she would definitely start with Phoebe or Isabella, but could also see naming her kids after Ciri or Florina.

5. would they adopt?

Absolutely. She knows what it’s like to be an orphan. Also there’s no way she’s having sex with a man.

N: Never Have I Ever

1. what would they never do?

Betray her friends or family.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

She’s not going to lie, she really wants to sky dive. Flor promised to take her once by literally carrying her up and then dropping her before swooping down and catching her again, but Luna has always shot the idea down.

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Actively like the capitalist, imperialist, and fascist qualities that Genesis has and try to uphold them. Also she can’t believe that people like eating fucking pickles, Castor.

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

When she first joined the Freedom Vessel, she completely trashed her room and broke pretty much every breakable object, and then Nivviah calmly asked if she would help her clean up and Val had to watch through tear streaked eyes as Nivviah patiently and silently helped clean up the room Val trashed.

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

Join an international revolution.

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic, though she honestly doesn’t believe most of it. She usually says it so she can hopefully believe her own words in the future and to instill hope in others. She is very pessimistic towards herself.

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

She tends to be optimistic around people just because she can’t stand to see other hopeless, but only really does it if they’re looking for inspiration. If they want to stew in their own sadness, Val will usually let them.

3. are they good at giving advice?

She’s probably given the most advice on the ship, mostly for relationships which she still doesn’t understand because she’s single as a pringle and her one and only relationship ended in two people dead. She is pretty good at giving advice though because it works out if people listen to her.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Ravi and Crumb, her sisters, and Percy.

5. were they always optimistic?

She was never really optimistic, except for her false optimism now. As a kid she was much more pragmatic and realist.

P: Personality

1. what is their best personality trait?

She is a ride or die loyal friend. If you get on her good side, she has shown that she is willing to risk her life for you and treats you as a sibling. If you’re her friend, there is close to nothing she wouldn’t do for you.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

*Alicia Keys voice* This girl is a liar! Because of the trauma in her life and what she feels guilty or scared about, she will never give a straight answer and you will have to unravel several layers to find the truth. Even her own version of the truth is skewed because of her own self-deprecation.

3. what of their personality do others love?

Ironically Ciri loves her honesty (at least when it comes to people not Val), her willingness to drop everything for her friends and family, her supportiveness, and her creativity.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

Ciri envies her ability to use humor as a deflection and her ability to say things that other people might be thinking but don’t want to say.

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

She hates that the personality she has now is a result of her trauma and wishes she could go back to how she was around five years ago.

Q: Questions

1. do they ask for help?

Only as a last resort. She wants to be able to show that she can do things by herself and will only ask for help if there is literally no other way she can solve it herself.

2. do they ask questions in class?

She asked a lot of questions about the Freedom Vessel, mostly to Nivviah, once she was comfortable to talk to people after she first arrived. It wasn’t even full on talking to her, but she wrote at least fifty questions in her notebook and gave it to Nivviah to answer, and to the best of her knowledge, Nivviah answered all of them. The questions ranged from “Where did Luna get this ship” to “Why is Oberon like that”

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

Nope. She will change subjects, ask back an equally uncomfortable question, or just lie flat out. She hates answering questions about herself.

4. do they ask weird questions?

Oh definitely. She once asked Icio whether Theuthidans’ dicks were smaller fish (she may or may not have been drunk) and once bonded with Juniper on that month when everyone was on Theuthida where Dryads had tree vaginas (she was definitely sober and the question had been on her mind for those two months).

5. are they curious?

She’s a Ravenclaw, she’s got that curiosity that either gets herself killed or people freaked out.

R: Rules

1. do they follow rules?

Not in the slightest. She gives Luna and Nivviah a heart attack every time she breaks a rule.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

She was a pretty strict parent to Isa and Phoebe in the sense that they had to be back home by sundown unless they had specifically a “mission”, but was laid-back in the sense that as long as they stayed smart and safe, they could pretty much do whatever they wanted.

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?

She was bedridden for a full day after she was shot in the back despite her protests, and now because of her suicide attempt, is forbidden from going into the infirmary alone and must be accompanied by an adult.

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

She does regret breaking her family’s rule of “everyone has to like your friend before they can come over” because she thought that she could trust her first girlfriend and ended up being stabbed in the back.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

It shouldn’t matter that you’re lactose intolerant, you should be able to drink milk if you really want that milkshake. Also she hates that people still think that slavery’s an alright thing to do.

S: Streets

1. are they street-smart?

Yes. As she was a short, physically weak girl growing up on the streets, Val never was able to play hard, but instead play smart. Steal this, Valerie. Trick this person Valerie. Sneak into this place, Valerie. She had to stay two steps ahead of everyone else just to get a foothold in society.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

She never got enough money on Biomia to give it to those begging. And there wasn’t any people on the streets on Biomia. People either had apartments or the orphans lived outside the city limits, usually in the slums outside or in Val’s case, the abandoned amusement park.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

Just once, when she was twelve. She was trying to sneak into a hospital to get some medicine for a sick Isa and a guard (known to the orphans on Biomia as a Child Snatcher since they take children on the streets and send them to orphanages) tried to apprehend her. She was able to get away, but not before he got a few good punches in, and she got a well aimed elbow to the temple.

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

She and Isa were once cornered by a couple of Biomian military agents for the Council of Nine, but for some reason was able to escape, despite them being the only ones there. Whenever she tries to think about it, she just knows that eventually their attention was drawn elsewhere.

5. are they cautious when out?

Val straddles the line between “I don’t care if I die” and “What if I die?” On Biomia she definitely kept an eye and ear out for everything, but now she keeps an eye out just enough that her friends aren’t attacked.

T: Truth

1. are they honest?

Val and Luna are tied for keeping the most secrets. Unless you take special care to get her to trust you completely, there will always be something about her life kept secret.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

She can tell if someone’s lying to her but finds it difficult to actually pull out the truth. She usually lets subjects drop if she thinks they’re lying and don’t want to talk about it.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

She’s gotten lying down pat. Girl’s got a +7 to deception. She’s also lied to people’s faces (like in-game) and hasn’t been called out on it yet.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

No, she’s actually a little more open than she wants. If she could take her past and the trauma’s she’s faced to the grave, she absolutely would.

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

She once told her ex-girlfriend about her work and then it spread to the entire Biomian government.

U: Underdog

1. have they been bullied?

She’s been verbally roughed up a bit by guards at different establishments, but she always managed to run away before it got worse than that.

2. have they bullied anyone?

She playfully bullies Ciri, Tam, and Castor just because they know that it’s all in good fun and because she knows that they can take it.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?

Thankfully no, mostly because no one cared enough about her family to attack them.

4. have they ever been doubted?

She was an orphaned who lived in an abandoned roller coaster. No one really expected Val would be as smart as she was.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

When Luna heard about a seventeen year old genius in Biomia, she expected someone strong, self confident, and mature, not a short, insecure child with a death wish the size of Earth.

V: Vomit

1. do they vomit often?

No, she’s seen enough stuff in the vents to keep her food down.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

She used to, but got so used to things in the vents that she has a stomach of steel now.

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

She’s pretty good. Isa got sick a lot as a kid and would always try to make sure she was as comfortable as could be. She would forego all the blanket space so Isa could have most of it, and tried to get food for her.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

Just being held and having her head pat.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

She hiccups, but mostly she just cries. She doesn’t like vomit in the slightest. It brings back to many memories.

W: Water

1. do they drink enough water?

Unless someone puts a glass of water in front of her (which usually is Ravi, Crumb because they’re the doctors or B3rT13 because he cares about his human and humans need water to live) she will not drink water.

2. have they learned to swim?

Nivviah and Luna taught her to swim when she joined the Freedom Vessel, after she was able to do things on her own.

3. do they like to swim?

She likes floating in the pool more than actively swimming, but she really likes doing handstands or cannonballs in the pool.

4. can they dive?

She can only do it from kneeling position, but once she tried from standing and landed in a belly flop.

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Yeah. It took a long time for her to learn how to do it without getting water up her nose, but she’s fine now.

X: Xylophone

1. what is their favorite genre of music?

The one thing she can say she likes about Biomia is their music, and really loves jazz music, especially the ones that played at the speakeasies she would sneak into.

2. do they have a favorite song?

‘Young and Beautiful’ by Lana Del Rey

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

She has and will always be gay for Ella Fitzgerald.

4. can they sing well?

She doesn’t have the best voice, but she can sing decently. It was Isa who was the star of the family. She sang and danced on street corners while Val and Phoebe pick-pocketed.

5. can they rap?

She’s actually a pretty decent rapper and can keep up with most beats.

Y: You

1. how old were you when you created them?

I believe 17. My powerpoint for her novel is dated back to 2015.

2. what inspired you to create them?

I was writing a novel about lesbian space pirates that never got finished, and Val was one of the main characters.

3. were they different when they were first created?

Definitely. I accidentally gave her Phoebe’s personality when I made her a campaign character as novel Val is much more controlled, shy, and misunderstood (and went by Valerie). But I love both of them the way they are. It was sort of explained why Val now acts more like how Phoebe did, but it will be explained more in depth later.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

She and Luna are my two favorite npcs of the campaign. I love all the love interests, don’t get me wrong, but Val owns my entire fucking heart.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

As a STEM major who feels the imposter syndrome very bad, I love that Val is a proud engineering girl who never feels like she’s not as good as she is. What gives her anxiety about her work is not whether she’s not good enough, it’s the unintended side effects of her invention. Also she’s chubby and gay.

Z: Zebra

1. what’s their favorite animal?

Platypuses. They just look like they’re not meant to exist and honestly, big mood.

2. do they like animals?

She has a hard time connecting to living things (both human and animal) and prefers to work with robots, but she thinks they’re cute.

3. cats or dogs?

Dogs. She’s afraid of bigger dogs, but she likes medium sized ones or the small ones.

4. what’s their dream pet?

She once saw a Tasmanian Tiger in one of the free zoos on Biomia and thought it was one of the coolest animals she’s ever seen. But a couple years later she went back and it was gone and hasn’t seen it since.

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

Technically Phoebe is a pet, but she prefers to think of the little bot as her daughter. And then B3rT13 is her asshole son.

[cosmiciaria]

Horizon Zero Dawn Review! (Spoiler Free)

So now I'm enjoying Ivar the Boneless beautiful icy blue eyes on Netflix while I write this after finishing Horizon Zero Dawn and watching its credits through the mists of my eyes. And I gotta say, I enjoyed this game more than I expected.

 The combination seems weird at first sight: we're talking about a sci-fi story, set in a really distant future, with machines (who look like… animals?) have taken over the land. Now, that's interesting! Some Skynet level of robots there. But, what is that? People look… primitive? And there are tribes? And those guys look like roman soldiers? And…? And…?

 Well, yes, in this post-apocalyptic future technology (meaning, any kind of machine) has become an enemy, and people had to go back to its primitive roots. We're not fighting the evil with lasers, we're fighting them with bows and arrows. Surprisingly, it works!

 We follow Aloy, a young outcast from the Nora tribe, whose only purpose in life is learning what was of her mother. The Nora worship the All-Mother, and it seems that being motherless is terribly stigmatizing. Aloy had to live her whole life being ignored by everyone in the Nora tribe, and now that she's older, she's hungry for answers.

 The Proving comes across as her solution: a ritual in which the young members of the tribe can participate to earn the title of 'brave'. Outcasts are permitted to enter, and Rost, Aloy's protector and adoptive father, encourages her to and trains her for this opportunity.

 Everything seems to go smoothly: Aloy wins the Proving and is named a 'brave' and an actual member of the Nora, when some masked men who appear out of the blue attack the participants, killing almost everyone, and Aloy, weak and not understanding half the things that were happening, was spared of her life, at the cost of Rost dying in her stead (oh, c'mon, this isn't a spoiler! You knew it'd happen since the beginning! That man had sealed his destiny when he said he lost a daughter at the beginning of the game and was willing to raise Aloy).

 Somehow she falls off a cliff and survives! Hooray for the Hollywood magic- I mean, the industry of videogames.

 After she recovers, she's told the truth about her origins (or, at least, part of the truth). One of the matriarchs explains to her that she's appeared as a baby at the bottom of the All-Mother mountain, at its doors, as an offering of the goddess. Feeling like the whole chosen one bs doesn't suit her, Aloy isn't content with this, and is named a seeker, now allowed to go out of her homeland and explore the whole world.

 This is when the open world begins!

 Now, I have lot to say about this game, its gameplay, the story, and characters.

 If you like Uncharted, or The Witcher, or shooting things endlessly with your arrows and feeling OP af, this game is for you. Well, it can be for you for many other reasons, but the truth is, I found the gameplay to be too similar to those two games I've mentioned. The open world mechanics, the abilities the focus gives the player, the way Aloy interacts with the npc's who give her sidequests and the way she interacts with the environment when she has to investigate, screamed 'Geralt of Rivia' all over the place. Not that I'm complaining! I love The Witcher 3! And all those cliffs to climb… Man, she has nothing to envy of Nathan Drake. Also, she has a rappel. Beat that, Nate…! Wait, he also has one. My bad.

 But the gameplay isn't just about climbing or fulfilling sidequests. The real nitty gritty of the stuff is killing the machines. Now, you have a variety of hostile machines wandering around the open space, and they're all different in shape, size (goddamn some can be huge) and weaknesses. You'll learn everything you need to know about them thanks to your focus, a tiny device of augmented reality that will help you through the whole story. Once you know about the weak points of each enemy, you just have to shoot at it until it dies. The end.

 Or, not so the end. Because every machine reacts differently: some can be really annoying to kill, others will run away from you, and others won't stop chasing you until you defeat them. Some fly, others will be hiding underneath the ground (for real). And, as it couldn't be in another way, you also have at your disposal a set of different weapons that you can choose and change between them on the fly during battles. Depending on your skills or your likes, the gameplay can vary significantly from player to player. And, can I just say that this fricking machines were a real challenge? Damn, those healing herbs were never enough.

 The good news are, you'll learn abilities along the way, which can pretty much break the game if you use them wisely. Something that seemed so difficult at the beginning, became a daily thing in the game towards the end. It's amazing the way the gameplay advances as you gain levels.

 Now, the story - *sighs*. The story. The story is original. There are some twists and turns you'll never see coming. There are some revelations that are huge – but, others, not so much. And despite me loving the approach of the game (the whole message about taking care of nature? Nope? I'm the only one? I think I got it wrong), towards the last act of the game, which takes up one third of the whole story, the pacing and the showcasing of information became boring. I'm not going to spoil anything, but I'll just say that game becomes really linear (I'm looking at you, Final Fantasy XV), and cutscenes consist of holograms speaking and throwing information to the screen and to the player, with a really confused Aloy having to connect the dots. Most of the information is stored in 'datalogs', which are tiny devices scattered across the land, although the vast majority of them will be inside the dungeons you'll be infiltrating. These things are considered optional, but if they're there, it means they must be heard or watched. The worst part is that it looks like they ran out of time making the game towards the end, because for ten hours straight the games seem to occur in the same place, with the same holograms, and that godforsaken violet light- I'm sorry, I digress. It just felt like a lazy way to progress with the story, but maybe there weren't better ways.

 Fortunately, the last mission compensates for all this boredom, and it's refreshing to see all the people we helped during the story joining our battle for Aloy's sake.

 And now that we're on that topic – characters!

 Aloy herself is just great. I just love her wit and her courage, and her will to stand up for herself. She's not afraid of facing others, and it's such an interesting character to follow around, that you'll forget she was an outcast her whole life in the same instant you gain control of her. I just love her so much! I have no complaints.

 One of the best things about her (for all those OTP's out there) is that you can ship her with almost everyone on this game. Varl was my first choice, and I was glad they introduced this character: a black male warrior, son of the war-chief, who would follow Aloy anywhere she leads. Then, Erend appeared, and quickly became a favorite of mine, simply because of his dorkiness and his flirty comments. His storyline was one of those that I enjoyed the most, and I really felt sympathy for him during his last mission. But then I did Nakoa's mission, and, damn, girl, those two can take on an army together! Oh, you thought I was done. Meet Avad, the sun king, who's recently lost her beloved partner and now mourns for someone like Aloy. You think this is the end? Wait for Vanasha to make her appearance, with her dark, shiny skin, and those abs that can break your ribs by just looking at them. And probably more people flirted with Aloy during her journey – wait! Teb! Teb, the boy Aloy saved during the prologue! Girl, get some love, you deserve it, look at all these people who seek your attention. Did I forget someone? Maybe Petra, the blacksmith? That woman has no problem in flirting with you minutes away from the end coming on the horizon! And I almost forgot Nill, the ex-soldier who only wants to get rid of bandits and murder for fun (whom I accidentally killed in his last mission – I didn't know this could happen! It's up to the player! Please DON'T kill him like I did!).

 The point is, the game doesn’t revolve around love or romancing Aloy with anyone, but it implies many, many things that I'm glad Guerrilla Games did include: there are no boundaries for love, and Aloy doesn't (nor do the other characters) judge anyone by their skin tone, their sexual orientation or their gender (which is a BIG deal in this game: I noticed most of the characters are female, and they're not damsels in distress, I must say!)

 Personally I ship Aloy x Erend. And it seems his vanguard ships them too. Go, Erend, kiss her, kiss her!

 I have just one complaint with one character: I did not like Sylens at all. I know he has a big role to play in the story, and actually, most the stuff wouldn't happen if he's not around, but, in my opinion, he appeared a bit too late into the story only to have so much prominence during the final hours. Like it was a little too late for me to like him, and the game tried to make me like him, or at least, to tolerate him, because he does some questionable things, yes, he does. And don't even get me started with – sorry, spoilers. Fact is, I hated his intrusions, and even more because he was present in those missions I've mentioned before, which were dull and repetitive. The whole packaged for me not to like him.

 The ending was beautiful. I have to say it: I cried a bit during the last scene. Let's say… Aloy finally found what she's been looking for her whole life, although not in the way she was expecting. For her, and for the players as well, is as rewarding as tearful.

 The game has some flaws – I'm not fully content with some of the decisions the devs made, but at the end of the day, I'm glad they made this. I'm glad they put a strong girl as a protagonist, and I'm glad this girl came across other strong characters with heavy stories and backgrounds, and I'm glad I can hop on a machine and travel around this beautiful world which, we don't know, can become our world one day.

 Now, I'm going for the Platinum! I just lack those goddamn Blazing Suns… I swear to GAIA if I can't get the Platinum because of those stupid tests, someone's going to wake up HADES once more, you hear me!?

 Play the game. Kill some machines. Save the world. And enjoy the view.

 P.S.: I ABSOLUTELY LOVED the Tallnecks quests. They were like my favorite part about reaching a new area of the map. They were so fun! I just wish there were more of those to climb, just for the lulz.

[we-the-apartment]

Cassidy, Amity, FIO, and Yao for the profiles!

Full Name: Amity RoseGender and Sexuality: Genderfluid, though tends to prefer female/ PansexualPronouns: Yes.Ethnicity/Species: Genie of Envy and SpiteBirthplace and Birthdate: 100,000 years ago, in the sandy desert of will be known as Eastern Oregon.Guilty Pleasures: Using all of her hands to do things, even though it wears her out in a few hours.Phobias: GluttonyWhat They Would Be Famous For: Being “Genie” in a live Action version of Aladdin.What They Would Get Arrested For: Public Indecency. (She doesn’t wear clothes.)OC You Ship Them With: An old OC that @awfulmuses had once though I don’t know if he still exists. He probably does somewhere.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: If she could die, Natasha.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: B rated Horror moviesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: When a character falls on nothing.Talents and/or Powers: A wish granting Genie with the powers of a God.Why Someone Might Love Them: Amity will love and cherish you through whatever you go through, especially if she trusts you.Why Someone Might Hate Them: She loves to play pranks and cause mischief.How They Change: She’s been in the apartment for about a year. She’s learned to tone down her mischievousness and learn to be helpful instead of hurtful.Why You Love Them: I feel like One with the power he has over Saitama in One Punch Man. Ultimate power but no one to use it on. And it makes her the ultimate weapon that I can call upon.Full Name: Federal and Internation Operations Artificial Intelligence Unit (F.I.O AI Unit)Gender and Sexuality: Unisex, Asexual Pronouns: She/Her, He/Him doesn't matter.Ethnicity/Species: Artificial IntelligenceBirthplace and Birthdate: [Classified Information]Guilty Pleasures: Eating viruses. Literally eating them.Phobias: Being DeletedWhat They Would Be Famous For: Being a Artificial Intelligence DetectiveWhat They Would Get Arrested For: Working for Desert Star Medical.OC You Ship Them With: N/AOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Katie or Riley Deleting her somehow.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Dystopian Future Novels Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: When the AI is programmed to be evil.Talents and/or Powers: An AI with the power to move through the internet, wires phone's, etc. as she pleases.Why Someone Might Love Them: Despite what she is programmed to do she does care about the humans who created her and does feel there is some good in the world.Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s a spy.How They Change: She ends up getting reprogrammed or she changes her own programming.Why You Love Them: I like AI. Sometimes Robots have feelings.Full Name: Cassidy Marie AlexandraGender and Sexuality: Female/She doesn’t know.Pronouns: She/HerEthnicity/Species: Corgi Dog GirlBirthplace and Birthdate: A cardboard box outside of a hospital.Guilty Pleasures: Chewing on slippers.Phobias: Thunder Storms.What They Would Be Famous For: Being so damn adorable.What They Would Get Arrested For: carrying explosivesOC You Ship Them With: @r0b0ts-d0nt-have-feel1ngsOC Most Likely To Murder Them: N/AFavorite Movie/Book Genre: Ghibli filmsLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Animals in sport movies. (Except the first Air Bud.)Talents and/or Powers:A high knowledge of pyrotechnicsWhy Someone Might Love Them: she is trustworthy loving and caring.Why Someone Might Hate Them: she is acts young for her age is incredibly playfulHow They Change: more than likely she probably won't maybe end up getting a little bit slower as she ages but not losing her childlike heart.Why You Love Them: because she has way more energy than I could ever possibly muster and she is an angel amongst the Demons of the world and I will protect her with everything that I have.Full Name: Yao MaiGender and Sexuality: Female/ Eh, whateverPronouns: She/herEthnicity/Species: Basic Green Slime GirlBirthplace and Birthdate: “The Great Meeting Place” 25 years ago.Guilty Pleasures: EatingPhobias: Drying upWhat They Would Be Famous For: Being the smartest slimeWhat They Would Get Arrested For: stealing food.OC You Ship Them With: @awfulmuses AslionOC Most Likely To Murder Them: SierraFavorite Movie/Book Genre: Monster moviesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: “Romance” genreTalents and/or Powers: Stretchy, and corrosive when neededWhy Someone Might Love Them: She will latch onto you and keep you safe from harm.Why Someone Might Hate Them: she will literally latch onto you and sometimes won't let go which may or may not lead to slight burnsHow They Change: she has changed. She used to be quite dumb but recently she has gotten a new acquired knowledge.Why You Love Them: she’s anger Jello but she’s MY anger jello.(Sorry this is so late friend!!!)