#roblox mentioned

[cupcakewebkinz]

I'm just gonna put this out here at like, 3 am because I'm so exhausted and I'm honestly starting to care less and less lol

A long rant about my life below, if you want to know where I've been for a while. Any trigger warnings will be put before the read more promise (and tags)

Oh and, quick mention, if you want to reach out but don't want to read any of this, you're absolutely valid please feel free to reach out whenever you want. I need friends right now, even if you don't want to know why. My dms are always open I just sometimes struggle to reply sorry-

Tw: Politics, depression, s/h + suicidal thoughts

Fandom mentioned: Dandy's World (a whole ass explanation of why I'm so obsessed ngl-)

Hey, I'm Kai, as I'm sure most of the people who follow me are aware. Irl, nobody calls me that though, and for good reasons now.

Ever since Trump has taken office again, I've been slowly going down further and further into a deep depression spiral, and every time I think about reaching out for help, I realize I'm stuck in one of thee worst places for a severely depressed gay to get help in. I live in Florida, and if you know why this is so bad, I am so sorry for you. If you don't, I won't go into detail here, but please research when you're in a good headspace, I genuinely don't want more people getting hurt because of me.

I've been slowly attempting to reach out to people again, to find someone, anyone, who could make me feel loved and okay again, but my brain keeps screaming at me that I don't deserve it and that I'm just... Not supposed to find the love and support I need. It tells me I'm not supposed to find a good partner, that I'm not supposed to feel wanted, that I don't deserve to breathe some days even. It's been such a struggle to even talk to my closest friends... And I will never be able to apologize enough for accidentally ignoring them. Some days I just lay in bed, hoping something would just come and kill me already, other days I wish I wasn't so scared of blood so I could hurt myself like I feel like I deserve. I should've gotten a job by now... But every time I get close to getting one, something happens to make it impossible. I feel trapped... I have always felt trapped in this state.

I've honestly felt so isolated too, having no car and only one friend who knows me irl, I hardly leave my house anymore. I've been curled up in bed for months now... Only getting up to use the bathroom, eat, drink, stuff like that. I felt so confined for so long, felt like a massive waste of space and money, it really took a toll on me physically and mentally. My chronic pain has never been higher, my depression is the same way, I often find myself wishing to just disappear or just giving up on having valid relationships - platonic and romantic - altogether because of everything making me spiral. I've also had some problems in my family, but that's staying private, I'm only going to say that I'm not the only one going down the mental crisis spiral right now. That too has been making it hard to believe I deserve love and support... I'm not as sick as they are, so I've been put on the back burner, and probably forgotten about as I learned how to mask my horrible mental health honestly.

However, lately, I've come across Dandy's World on Roblox and found out one of my siblings plays it, so I started to play with her. The people there have been so funny, so uplifting and just so... Fun. It's been so much fun. I fell in love with the characters and even related to quite a few of them, especially Shelly and Vee, different aspects of them both yeah but I really grew attached to them. I then found out about the ship between them and how absolutely fluffy some people make it and... It's honestly been my escape now. I bought Vee two days ago in game, and I've been slowly learning how to play her in the best way, and I've made so many dear friends already from it. I've been delving deep into the lore and writing my own au and devouring all the Shellevision fanfics I can possibly find 😂

I know this isn't the most healthy thing to do, I completely understand that, I really should be job hunting and doing my best to be an adult. But honestly, it's been such a peaceful escape from the dark thoughts that have been suffocating me lately. Moral of the story is, even though life can be a fucking shitshow, there's so many people out there who can and will make you feel like you belong somewhere. Even though a fanbase has a reputation for being a toxic disaster, there will always be people who are genuinely kind and loving and caring in there. Life will give you ways to remind you of how beautiful you are, and I found that in silly Roblox games as I slowly start selling Kandi bracelets and necklaces for a living irl.

There's a place for everyone, you just have to find it.

Also I'm reblogging a shit ton of Shellevision and Fruitcake sorry but I'm not actually sorry I am indulging to feel better tonight lol

[shandzii]

I love being zer's personal chef

[urban-shade]

normal activities in sebastians shop

[catsharkzzz]

reblogs appreciated

some may call it twink death, i call it big beautiful man birth

take my hypermobility noli headcanon... you can haves it... he did a bunch of stupid shit with his body when he was younger and now hes dealing with the consequences of his actions .

[shrimsour]

The day I picked up Coil.

"Stay outta my business old man. Unless you wanna get hurt."

"You have no idea what you're messing with kid. Give me back my crystals, or WE are fucked."

Inspired by The day I met Dazai manga cover art!!

I feel like Coil would be a very distrustful feral young adult and Medkit would just be very deadpan and calm but pessimistic father/uncle figure. Kind of like Hank from Detroit become human or Swansea from Mouthwashing. Over time Coil bonds closer with Medkit, since Med is basically patching him up everyday and Coil keeps tabs on Subspace. But then Medkit starts pushing him away in fear of the church tying Coil to him and dangling him over Medkit as means of manipulation, or even worse, them being interested in indoctrinating Coil into the family. Eventually Medkit completely ghosts Coil and they meet 3 years later in The Phighting! Competition, now imagine the angst...

[faunify]

honestly, idk! idek if the thing i saw on the dc server was canon, i just thought itd be cool, sooooo

spent 10 straight hours on forsaken using ingame vc. my throat. hurts. (i got vc banned like 7 times)

adding on art related to this as i make them for sake of not spamming my page lol

[misseligon]

This is the most stupidly self indulgent oc ever, throws found family upon ye.

More info about the boyo

(File Template made by @glow-and-vamp)

[rawazoir]

TwoTime

My silly silly guilty murderer

Also I like Pizzatime, purely because of angst-pfff

Rip Elliot and TwoTime yall won't work out

[unfortunatish]

College 07 and Noli ^w^

+ other doodles of em

[whysowise]

made a bit ago,, what if this collab happened. what then

[bleeding-seraphic]

<< first / < prev / next >

I was craving soup when I drew this I hope it shows

[helixcraft]

I made a regretevator dating sim. (<- LINK IN HERE)

...for April Fools... dontlookatthedate

YEUCC SAID ITS APRIL FOOLS WEEK SO I CAN USE THAT EXCUSE TOO—

You received a call from Melanie and Mozelle one day and knowing the shenanigans those two go through, you just know you're in for a ride…

[mintbreeze]

my contribution to forsaken fandom

[painfulguess]

mspaint forsaken doodle pages

[shrimsour]

The Phantom thief of kills

(He's so Joker persona 5 coded)

I have a banger medkit art to post but tumblr just won't let me I've been trying since yesterday 💔💔

[tripamania]

maintenance