#rob and mr small are two of my favorite characters in all of existance i think

[whumpy-wyrms]

6,17 and 10 from ask game for both of them?:3

(from this ask game)

6. How did you choose your OC’s name?

for Dew, it was really hard choosing a name for him at first. he and Anton started out as just basic whumpee and whumper in my head, and then as they were getting a more developed story, i decided to name them. it took a long time naming Dew because i needed a name that fit him and his character really well. i think i just saw the word dew somewhere and thought that was perfect for him, idk why :P

Anton on the other hand.. okay so i’ve done this thing for a while, where basically whenever i see or hear a name i like, i write it down in my notes app to save for later to potentially be a name for an oc. i have a long list of random names i’ve collected over a few years, and when i had to name Anton, i just looked through that list and thought that name suited him. its funny because i’m pretty sure i first heard that name from the amazing world of gumball, and i liked it so i wrote it in my list… so Anton is technically named after a talking piece of toast hahahaha. you’re welcome

17. What are three moments in their life that impacted your OC the most?

Dew

i’d say the moments he first found out he was autistic and transgender (happened at separate times, but i’ll include them as one since they’re similar). they’re both a huge part of him and his identity so obviously after finding that out, it would hugely impact his life and the way he’s viewed by people and himself.

the second is when his parents died,, i always forget to mention this in the chapters which i kinda regret now, because i feel like they’d also be people Dew would think about along with his friends. but yeah… i mentioned in another ask that they died when he was 18, and then i kinda just forgot about them… oops.

the third moment is probablyyy when he was kidnapped by Anton lmao. i mean, it changed his entire life in more ways than one. he has wings now, some other stuff that’s huge spoilers… it’s pretty self explanatory.

Anton:

i mentioned this before as well but Anton was an orphan and was found by his mentor, Pierce, when he was young, and that’s how he kinda became the person he is now. Pierce was a mad scientist and taught Anton everything he knows about science and stuff, so without him, Anton would probably be a normal guy… i mean,, not normal, but you know.

hmmmm there is one hugely impactful moment that happened to Anton but I can’t really talk about it yet because Spoilers… i will say it had to do with his past test subject who’s been mentioned a few times before.

and then finding Dew. again, this one is pretty self explanatory. having his own test subjected impacted the way he did science, but also the way he views other people as well as himself. and like, spoiler stuff in the future, but Dew basically changed his life.

10. Share a sentence of dialogue from your OC that you think represents them well.

Anton: “Me and you, we can accomplish great things together. We already have. You as my lab rat, and me as the scientist, we are unstoppable.” Anton picked up a needle, noticing how Dew’s wings seemed to wrap tighter around his shoulders. “Now, spread out your wings, I wanna test something.”

Dew: “It just, it’s boring…” Dew began. “Just- the only thing I do all day is sit here being poked and prodded and then I’m alone in that room with nothing to do. And- and I miss talking to people,” Dew blinked back tears. “I miss the sky. I miss my pets. I miss- m-my friends.” He wrapped his wings around himself, like a cozy blanket, and cried.”

(couldn’t really decide on a quote from Dew so i just went with that one idk)

thanks for the ask!

[amphibious-entity]

TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

[the-old-dip-and-stir]

a-z nsfw headcanons: arthur morgan

(i’ve had this in drafts for idk how long, but i saw other people posting theirs, so here we are.)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

super cuddly. the man is a teddy bear. tons of kisses. so many sweet caresses. will definitely pamper his s/o if he can. pls pamper him too, he deserves it. it’ll be the biggest and best surprise cuz he never expects it.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

arthur’s (and his partner’s) is his hands. hands that have done tough work, killed, robbed, all kinds of things but at the end of the day they can be used for loving. he used to hate them but his partner showed him that his hands could do good things too. he likes everything about his partner, but his favorite part is their mouth. oh what wonderful things they can do to him with that mouth.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

in that lifestyle, pregnancy is the last thing he needs (for vagina bearers), so he typically likes to paint his partner with his cum. spilling on to their hand, stomach, thigh, chest, face, and into their mouth. anal however, he will cum inside, but like i said, he likes to paint. so he may spill into and on to his partner’s ass. if he’s been holding back on sex or any kind of pleasure, expect the biggest load of your life. otherwise, he cums a relatively normal amount.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he has a collection of naughty pictures of his partner, and a secret list of things he wants to to them.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

well it’s not his first rodeo, but he also hasn’t been with very many people. he has enough experience to show someone a good time and neither go unsatisfied. he’s got a basic understanding of pleasuring someone, so you’re not gonna be blown out of the water in the first minute or so. give him some time to explore and trust me, you’ll have a good time.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

he usually likes having his partner face him to see their reactions and so he has access to their mouth. so missionary, cowgirl, or sex up against a wall or tree. mirror sex is also fun for him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

arthur is mostly serious during sex since he likes to make sure his partner is comfortable, but he’s very capable and liable to tease. mr. morgan can be cheeky when he wants. definitely a giggler when sated

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

arthur is pretty hairy guy BUT he does try to keep the area maintained. if not for his partner, for his own personal tastes. it gets on his nerves when it gets wild.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

huge softie. biggest romantic. especially when having sex with his partner for the first time. it’s a vulnerable moment for both him and who he’s with. if you tell him that you love him or praise him, he might cry. it’s just more emotions on top of a lot of emotions. he’s nOT READY.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

he usually doesn’t unless he’s really in the mood and his s/o isn’t available. that’s where those naughty pictures come in handy (hA). if not then, sometimes he’ll put on a show for his s/o. he likes seeing them get worked up over him pleasuring himself.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

some light bondage, for sure. boah is good at tying knots. definitely a praise kink. might be down for a little roleplay. maybe a little homestead robbery turning into a fuckfest. maybe a hostage situation. he’s got a list of things he’s thought about doing, all categorized in yeses, maybes, and might be too muches.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

he likes having privacy, tbfh. sex in camp is difficult to do, especially when he knows he’s gonna get shit for it in the morning. so he may rent a room in a nearby town or just go on a long trip with his partner and have sex out in the wild.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

honestly, anything his partner does can get him going, but their mouth does things to him. licking their lips, biting their lower lip, smirking, the way their lips look wrapped around the rim of a beer bottle. he has a bit of a fixation.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

s&m. he doesn’t mind a bit of pain; maybe a smack on the ass, his s/o’s nails scratching at his back, love bites, but never wants to actually hit his partner. spanking would probably be as far as he would go. he tried smacking his s/o in the face one time during a rough sex night since they asked, he wasn’t a fan of it. he held back but the print that formed on their face still rubbed him the wrong way. so he doesn’t mind being rough with ya but he doesn’t want to push it so far that he actually hurts you, even if you like it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

he likes both really, but is more inclined to give. if receiving, he will always give back, no if’s, ands, or buts. when giving he won’t expect anything in return. he’s doing it because he wants you to feel good. he’s fairly good at oral once he knows what you like, but if it’s the first time, he may fumble around until he gets it right, so patience!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends really, but his tried and true is a nice combination of the two. but a majority of the time it’s sensual and slow, he definitely puts the love into lovemaking. fast and rough is for those desperate, heated times. when all he wants to to do is just fuck cuz he’s horny (shocker, being in love makes him a horny bastard).

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

he doesn’t hate quickies, sometimes that’s all he has time for in the mornings before someone comes barging in and asking for something. it happens often, especially when in camp.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

he’s willing to try things. i mean, the man has a list. risk is ingrained into just about everything he does, so some risky sex isn’t off the table. of course, everything has to be consensual. he doesn’t want his s/o to be scared or uncomfortable with what their doing.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

let’s be real, arthur is pushing 40, so while his stamina may be pretty decent, he can’t go a lot of rounds. given how much he works and runs around, he can last a good bit, but don’t expect him to cum more than maybe twice. he’s not young and spry, he’s getting a little older now. cumming multiple times ain’t gonna be easy for him.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

while sex toys did exist during the late 19th century, arthur wouldn’t really have easy access to them. most sex toys at the time were purely for “medical” use at the time anyhow. butt plugs that cure constipation? yeah, okay. a modern day arthur though would love using toys, and definitely wouldn’t be against his partner using them on him. it wouldn’t anything fancy, maybe a nice dildo, a vibrator, and probably a butt plug. he likes making his partner feel good, not to mention he’s a goddamn tease.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

oh he loves drawing it out if he can. he’ll even do little things throughout the day to drive his s/o crazy. he loves it even more when they do it back. it’s a fun game and ends in a very fun time as well. so much edging and dirty talk, WOOWEE.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

he’s usually very quiet, he had to learn how to be when he masturbated in camp. so it’s mostly sighs. in a private setting, he’s willing to let loose a little, but even then he’s still not very loud. it’s a lot of grunts, groans, and cursing.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

he’s really into all the sounds made from sex. he loves the sounds that come from his partner, whether he’s pleasuring them or their pleasuring themselves. the hip smacking, the wet noises, the moans. he LOVES that shit. he could get off to just that (in fact, he already has.)

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

arthur has more girth than length. length wise, he’s slightly above average. girth wise, he’ll feel like he can split you in half if not properly prepared. he’s at least over 5 inches (12.7 cm) in length (keep in mind that average is about 5.16 inches [13.12 cm]). as for girth; well my hands are kinda small, they’re probably 6 inches in length, and that’s from the heel of my palm to the tip of my middle finger. so my fingers would only touch when my nails are grown out a bit. so baby is THICC. also given the time period, he’ll most likely be uncut.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

he’s the type to be horny for someone he’s in love with, but it’s actually a pretty normal and healthy libido. he may have trouble getting it up on occasion though. drinking and depression will do that. his affection drive, however, is really high, bb likes to cuddle and hold ya hand.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he won’t lie about being wore out after a round. he’s may not be old, but he’s definitely not as young as he used to be. arthur doesn’t get knocked out immediately, he’s mostly in a happy, sleepy state. he stays up for long as he can until he struggles to keep his eyes open. he also likes getting some kisses in after the fact so expect falling asleep while kissing.

[filmstruck]

DEATH OF A SALESMAN (’85), Death of an Actor’s Career by Greg Ferrara

Here at the StreamLine arm of Filmstruck, we pick our titles early, usually months in advance. So, it was, way back in September, that I decided my first January post of 2018 would be the 1985 production of DEATH OF A SALESMAN, starring Dustin Hoffman. In that time, Mr. Hoffman has made the journey from famous to infamous and watching the production again is impossible to do without swirling thoughts of harassment, assault and abuse.

Art does not exist in a vacuum. It never has and it never will. It is always alive, changing shape, growing, wilting, expanding and stretching out into the present. As a result, I find it ludicrous to attempt to write a piece about this production as if nothing ever happened. Giving this movie an objectively technical write-up on its merits and demerits would not only be a joke but a complete lie. The fact is, if what I’ve read is true, then I’m disgusted by Hoffman’s behavior and when I see his whiny, insufferable version of Willy Loman, I have even less sympathy for the pathetic character than I had before, and that wasn’t much.

I spent my youth in the theater, acting in several productions both amateur and professional and I eventually earned a college degree in this discipline. I know the plays of Arthur Miller intimately and Death Of A Salesman is among my least favorite of his works. If I am to be fully forthright, however, I must admit I never cared much for Miller in the first place. His plays always felt a bit heavy-handed in the grand tradition of Clifford Odets. In other words, in almost any Miller play, from All My Sons to The Crucible, if you haven’t figured out what you’re supposed to think about the characters within the first five minutes, you’re not paying attention. Miller tells you what to think through blunt dialogue that signals contradictions and hypocrisy. When Loman criticizes Biff as lazy only to extol his work ethic minutes later, you can hear the audience collectively slap their foreheads at the obviousness of it all.

But still, regardless of all that, there is something in the character of Willy Loman that lends sympathy to his plight. He is his own worst enemy but his aspirations are sincere, if maybe a little too narcissistic. He picked sales as a career because he thought it would make him “well-liked” but he failed miserably. And when I see Fredric March play him, it works beautifully. I never got to see Lee J. Cobb but I imagine the power of his presence alone would make the tragedy work. But Hoffman? He strips Loman of all of his sympathetic traits and screeches each line like an angsty teenager. Somehow, he makes this small, pathetic loser seem like a jerk, not a tragic figure.

That’s what I thought when I saw it thirty years ago and when I watched it again I couldn’t help but think it even more, because now I was lumping Hoffman’s abusive behaviors on top of it. Slowly, Loman and Hoffman merged and all I could see was someone I could not have any respect for anymore.

Of course, the biggest tragedy of all of this was the budding career of Kathryn Rossetter, playing the mistress of Loman. Using her own words, Hoffman robbed her of what could have been a wonderful experience and through steady demoralization, destroyed any confidence she may have had. Anna Graham Hunter, an intern working on the set, had to endure much the same and who knows how much this set back both of them. Hoffman got to enjoy a full and rich career. He has two Oscars and countless other accolades for work across nearly six decades. It would be difficult, if not entirely impossible to feel any sympathy for him at this point as he has lost nothing. His career was already slowing down. The only thing left now is his name and though it carries a lot less gravitas than it used to, that’s still no real punishment. None at all. He shouts in DEATH OF A SALESMAN that he is “not a dime a dozen [he’s] Willy Loman” and his name and life count for something. Too bad he didn’t take that to heart and see that other people have the same challenges, weaknesses and insecurities. And they need support, generosity and encouragement. I guess it was all just an act the whole time. How disappointing.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Compare & Contrast: Carousel vs Guys And Dolls

A dear departed friend of mine loved Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II’s Carousel, and he was far from the only person to do so.

Ever since it opened in 1945, Carousel has been a perennial favorite, revived countless times on Broadway and regional theaters, adapted into a film, and chockablock with memorable numbers and well crafted scenes.  “If I Loved You,” “June Is Bustin’ Out All Over,” and the big hit from the show, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” have been covered by thousands of artists and are in repertoires all over the world.

I can understand the fondness for the songs, and the admiration for the quality of the writing, but Carousel itself as a story?

This is one of the vilest pieces of crap penned.

Based on the play Liliom by the Hungarian playwright and poet Ferenc Molnár, Carousel is the story of Billy Bigelow, a self-destructive idiot who diminishes the lives of those around him simply by existing.

Molnár’s original play doesn’t dodge that bullet, and it ends with the protagonist being led off to eternal punishment while his dim-witted widow waxes nostalgic over him, despite the fact he abused her, never supported her, and left her in the lurch to bear and raise their daughter after he was killed in botched robbery.

Given a chance to redeem himself by performing one good deed for his daughter, Liliom (Hungarian for “lily” but also slang for a street thug) botches even that simple task and so gets dragged off to the fate he well deserves, the fate he quite deliberately and exquisitely fashioned for himself over the course of the play.

Small wonder those who adapted it to stage and screen typically sought a means of mitigating Liliom’s fate, to give one last ray of hope instead of following the story through to its grim but wholly logical conclusion.

Of all the adaptations that tinkered with Liliom, Carousel is by far the most egregious. It explicitly endorses spouse and child abuse as acts of endearment, Billy Bigelow (the Americanized Liliom) being a prideful, arrogantly ignorant sociopath who cares only for himself, and despite the vain promise of “You’ll never walk alone,” his daughter and wife are compelled to suffer all their lives for his sins and shortcomings.

He brings his daughter a star from heaven which even in the context of the story doesn’t mean anything; it’s just a gaudy trinket that can be and ultimately is ignored.

Geeze, a Marvel movie would at least see the kid get some superpowers out of the deal…

And if such a thing is possible, the 1956 film adaptation is even worse than the stage play:   It begins with Billy in heaven, gainfully employed polishing stars, no need to either account or atone for his earthly behavior.  His return to Earth is just to help his daughter out, not redeem his terrible behavior with a single good act, and in that context he’s more trouble than he’s worth.

One’s tempted to call Billy Bigelow a worthless sac of human excrement, but that’s not accurate: Excrement has use as a fertilizer.

Billy Bigelow is a 55-gallon drum of toxic waste, poisoning all it comes in contact with.

The key plot elements of the stage play are this:   Billy Bigelow, carousel barker, gets fired by his jealous boss, Mrs. Mullin, when she sees him flirting with young mill worker Julie Jordan.  Julie loses her job as well because of her infatuation with Billy, and the two marry impetuously.  

A month later and he’s still found no work due to his refusal to return as Mrs. Mullin’s barker or take any other job that requires him to answer to a boss.  He’s drunk and abusive, and while the stage play raises the issue that Julie should leave, it just as quickly subsumes it with Julie’s "he's your feller and you love him" attitude.

When a disreputable pal, Jigger, suggests they rob Julie’s old boss, Billy first refuses (though he doesn’t warn anyone of Jigger’s criminal intent), but when he learns Julie’s pregnant, launches into the most odious song in the show:  “Soliloquy”

“Soliloquy” is a schmaltz fest that most people choose to hear as a loving father doting over his unborn child.

It’s not.

It’s a sociopath’s love song to himself.

Billy Bigelow does not care what is truly best for his son, he only cares about vicariously enjoying success through the boy, and not through the boy’s own efforts and desires but by shaping him into a mirror image of his father, a toy for him to manipulate and play with.

Almost all the careers he imagines for the boy are the kind of low level manual labor jobs that he’s only fit for, the exceptions being carnival barker and President of the United States (which he disdains).

“Bill, my boy Bill I will see that he is named after me, I will. My boy, Bill! He'll be tall And tough as a tree, will Bill! Like a tree he'll grow With his head held high And his feet planted firm on the ground And you won't see nobody dare to try To boss or toss him around! No pot-bellied, baggy-eyed bully Will boss him around.”

He even fantasizes about teaching his unborn son how to seduce girls…then realizes to his horror that his “son” maybe be a daughter.

“My little girl Pink and white As peaches and cream is she My little girl Is half again as bright As girls are meant to be! Dozens of boys pursue her Many a likely lad does what he can to woo her From her faithful dad She has a few Pink and white young fellers of two or three But my little girl Gets hungry every night and she comes home to me!”

That’s pretty damn sick.

Bigelow, perfectly willing to raise a proto-rapist male, doesn’t want the shame of having a victim for a daughter, and thinking the only way he can protect her is by buying her a higher station in life, decides to help Jigger rob Julie’s ex-boss.

Even there he’s a punk, not willing to do anything directly to threaten the old man, but perfectly willing to share in the proceeds of Jigger’s crime.  (He’s also an idiot insofar has he had a nasty confrontation with the intended victim about a month earlier and apparently presumes the old man won’t remember him.)

But he’s not done destroying himself and Julie’s future and the future of their unborn child yet: While waiting in ambush, he and Jigger gamble, betting their anticipated shares of the loot.

Billy loses all his shares!

There is no point to him participating in the robbery.

There is no reason to help Jigger any further except arrogant pride.

They attempt to rob the old man, the old man draws a gun, Jigger flees, and Billy, rather than face the consequences, takes the coward’s way out and kills himself.

His daughter grows up being scorned and taunted by other children for having a father who was a stupid brute and a thief and a suicide, and as cruel as that is, who’s fault is it but Billy’s?

It was his choices that put her in that predicament, his pride, his arrogance, his lack of character and courage and imagination.

And Carousel celebrates this; it doesn’t pity Billy but rather feels sorry for him.

This is the difference:  Pity can recognize the suffering of another person yet still recognize that person’s responsibility in bringing tragedy upon themselves; feeling sorry for someone negates the harm they have inflicted on others.

Billy deserves nothing. Julie deserves nothing -- she enabled this tragedy.

Only the daughter deserves sympathy and a second chance, Carousel’s climax is arbitrarily tacked on to give a fake happy ending and is as phony as a three dollar bill printed on a Xerox machine running low on toner.

Liliom and Carousel are tragedies, but only Liliom has the courage and clear vision to recognize it.

Compare and contrast with Guys And Dolls, the 1950 Damon Runyon musical by Frank Loesser, Jo Swerling, and Abe Burrows.

Like Carousel, it’s a crowd pleaser:   Plenty of great scenes, lots of great numbers like “A Bushel And A Peck”, “Adelaide’s Lament”, “Luck Be A Lady”, “Sue Me”, “Sit Down (You’re Rocking The Boat)”, and “Guys And Dolls” itself.

It’s got a better structure than Carousel:   A common convention in Broadway musicals is to have a main couple that the show focuses on and a supporting couple to offer a counterpoint to the main action.

One could eliminate the supporting couple in Carousel and, while the show would be diminished, it would not change the story of Billy and Julie.

But Guys And Dolls thoroughly integrates the stories of Sky Masterson and Sergeant Sarah Brown with that of Nathan Detroit and Adelaide:  Remove either couple and the entire show collapses.

And of special interest is this:   While Sky and Nathan are gamblers and by association at least peripheral members of the underworld, they are also men of personal integrity (Nathan less so than Sky, granted, but it’s still there).

Nathan is trying to stage “the oldest established permanent floating crap game in New York” in the face of intense police scrutiny not for his personal benefit alone, but so he provide for his crew and so he can finally marry Adelaide, the show girl he’s been engaged to for 14 years.

Sky is riding on top of the world, a superstar among gamblers, a man who doesn’t need anything…

…yet at the same time is acutely aware of a large vacuum in his heart.

The story’s hilarious, with all sorts of outrageous characters and plot twists, but it rings far truer than Carousel because for all their flaws, the characters are trying to better themselves not for their own good but so they can better the lives of others.

This is a crucial difference between them and Billy Bigelow.  The characters of Guys And Dolls may be foolish on occasion, but they ain’t dumb, they know the score, and more importantly, they know themselves.

The show’s songs are rich with self-awareness, and while the characters take risks -- they’re gamblers, after all -- they aren’t stupid self-destructive risks that will harm others.

Sky and Nathan, in fact, demonstrate a willingness to sacrifice themselves for others, and accept the consequences for their own actions.

More importantly, they are willing to change in order to better help the women they love, and that change comes without regret but rather with (again!) the self-awareness that their happiness is intrinsically wrapped up in the happiness of the person they love.

No song better sums it up than “Guys And Dolls” itself:

“When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky You can bet that he's doing it for some doll. When you spot a John waiting out in the rain Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane. When you meet a gent paying all kinds of rent For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal. Call it sad, call it funny. But it's better than even money That the guy's only doing it for some doll.”

The song closes with as direct a repudiation of Billy Bigelow as we could hope for:

“When a lazy slob takes a goody steady job, And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol. Call it dumb, call it clever Ah, but you can get odds forever That the guy's only doing it for some doll!”

 © Buzz Dixon

[placetobenation]

Welcome back to the fifth installment of the greatest series of articles to look at the PTBN GWWE Tag Team Project in the history of our sport. I’m about halfway through the teams I want to cover (I’ve hit 34 teams with this edition), so it’s both a milestone and a motivation to keep plugging away. You can check out the archives of past articles here. As always, please let me know if you have thoughts on these teams or the articles, or if you just want to join the discussion, you can do so in the Facebook group.

This week I added a couple bonus teams, one that I believe I’ve watched all their existing WWE footage and was an easy call for me, and the other is a team that hasn’t been talked about much, but I think is earning more consideration and discussion. Also, one formatting change, starting with this article the team I want to appear in the preview photo will appear last in the “main event” spot, rather than going in chronological order.

Let’s get started.

Rick Martel-Tony Garea

Years Teamed in WWE: 1980-1982

Total Matches: 261

Combined Days of Tag Title Reigns: 213

Match Suggestions: vs. Mr. Fuji-Mr. Saito (10/31/81), vs. Moondogs (Rex & King 3/17/81 appeared on 4/4/81 ASW), vs. Moondogs (12/29/80- MSG), w/ Pat Patterson vs. Moondogs-Capt. Lou Albano (2/16/81), vs. Wild Samoans (11/8/80, appeared JIP on ASW 11/15/80), vs. Moondogs (7/21/81 appeared on 7/25/81 ASW)

Thoughts: The earliest great babyface team I’ve found so far, Martel and Garea are masters at working a tag team match. Their matches against Fuji-Saito and the Moondogs are all excellent. Both guys are good sellers and Martel is one of the greatest fiery babyfaces of all time. Martel and Garea do an excellent job at gaining the crowd’s sympathy and support leading to hot matches against any opponent other than Baron Mikel Scicluna (they’re only human.) This will surely be my highest ranked Garea team (though I am interested in his team with Larry Z). I originally expected Strike Force to rank higher for me among Martel’s teams, but am starting to reconsider. The Strike Force-Islanders series may have the better matches, but Martel-Garea have more longevity, longer tag reigns and the crowd never turned on them, like they did on Strike Force when they faced Demolition. Regardless, this Martel-Garea team has been impressive. I knew they were good, but discovering how good has been one of the most enjoyable parts of this project. They are also the most follicly gifted team in the history of our sport with manes so luscious they make Sam Malone jealous.

Placement Range: They’ve really shot up my list after watching more of their matches, and the fact that they’re the first great babyface team means something to me. I feel like they carried heel teams of the day to matches they wouldn’t have with anyone else and should get a lot of credit for that. They’ve got good longevity and two decent title reigns and were over as hell. All that puts them in the 15-25 range on my list.

  Blackjacks

Years Teamed in WWE: 1974–1975

Total Matches: 44

Combined Days of Tag Title Reigns: 86

Match Suggestions: vs. Tony Parisi-Louis Cerdan (11/17/75), vs. Dominic DeNucci-Victor Rivera (1/13/74), vs. Dominic DeNucci-Irish Pat Barrett (1975)

Thoughts: The Blackjacks are a well-regarded team by fans of the era, but that has to be for their work outside the WWWF more than their work in the company. Wrestlingdata has them at 44 matches with WWWF in 1975, which is roughly the same amount as Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle (as a team), but the Blackjacks don’t have the classic matches to their credit. Footage of the Blackjacks is hard to come by, but I found three matches on YouTube, and they all stink. Three matches is a small sample size, but it’s about 7 percent of the matches they had in WWWF. And I find it hard to believe the Blackjacks had really good matches, but the rare ones that survived are the bad matches. I will note that Wrestlingdata had the team only appearing in WWWF in 1975 and one of the matches linked in the Facebook thread is from 1974, so maybe they have a few more matches than Wrestlingdata gives them credit for, but I’d have to hear of several hundred more matches to sway me into consideration.

Placement Range: If there’s a case to be made, I’m not the one to make it. I can’t see any criteria that the Blackjacks would do well in for a WWE list. They don’t have longevity, 44 matches is a very small sample without a top-tier match to supplement. They held the tag titles for just under three months, but that was a pretty short run for the time period compared to the other teams I’ve looked at. And based on the footage we have, their matches weren’t good. Hard pass on the Blackjacks for me.

  Shawn Michaels-Diesel

Years Teamed in WWE: 1993-1996, 2003

Total Matches: 75

Combined Days of Tag Title Reigns: 88

Match Suggestions: vs. Razor Ramon-1-2-3 Kid (Action Zone 10/30/94), vs. Yokozuna-British Bulldog (IYH: Triple Header), vs. Marty Jannetty-Razor Ramon (7/27/93), vs. Bret Hart-Undertaker (March 1996)

Thoughts:  Two Dudes with Attitude! That name sounds pretty ridiculous outside the realm of mid-1990s WWF, and Shawn Michaels and Diesel are a tag team that seems very much of that time and place. On the surface, their case is pretty solid, 75 matches is considerably more than I would have guessed, two tag team title reigns and the great Action Zone match with Kid and Razor are great points in their favor. But the case for them just seems a little empty to me. The tag title reigns never amounted to much, with few defenses making tape from the first one and the one from IYH Triple Header was reversed the next night on a Dusty finish. The famous Action Zone tag is great, and there is a pretty good match against Jannetty and Razor, but nothing else I’ve found comes anywhere close to that match. It really seems like 75 matches should have something more interesting. I’d love to see their matches against the Headshrinkers, but I haven’t found any yet. HBK and Big Daddy Cool have a strong enough case to make it, but the harder I looked the more I found the team lacking a bit.

Placement Range: I can’t see a WWE list not including them, and they meet all the criteria I’m looking for. I did hope I might find a few more good matches along the lines of the Action Zone Kliq tag, but no such luck. They’ll be in the lower quarter, probably in the 75-90 range.

  Chris Jericho-Christian

Years Teamed in WWE: 2001-2005, 2012

Total Matches: 65

Combined Days of Tag Title Reigns: 62

Match Suggestions: vs. Booker T-Goldust vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Storm-Regal (Armageddon ’02), vs. Kane vs. Bubba & Spike vs. Jeff Hardy & Rob Van Dam (TLC- 10/7/02- RAW), vs. Trish-Lita (Armageddon ’03), vs. Booker T- Goldust (No Mercy ’02)

Thoughts: I love both Jericho and Christian, but I think it’s fair to say that ’02-’03 was a time both guys were a bit aimless, with looks and characters that badly needed freshening up. Both were great at playing cheesy comedy heels, but the act was wearing a bit thin. Too bad, because they were a helluva team. I feared their matches with Booker T and Goldust wouldn’t hold up, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well each team player their role. They were also a crucial part of the four-way TLC match on Raw that was named Best Match Ever on Raw for Some Random WWE List of Self-Promotion that I Don’t Remember. That match is clearly not the best match in Raw history, but is clearly a helluva match. I think Jericho and Christian worked quite well together and had good chemistry, even if something always seemed to go wrong (the ropes broke right before the finish in an otherwise good match with BookDust, for example.) The angle where they broke up with the $1 Canadian bet over Trish and Lita is one of my favorite mid-card angles and it helped set Christian on the path to Peep Show stardom and Jericho to become the Best in the World at What He Does. And the match they had against Trish and Lita at Armageddon ’03 is brilliant storytelling to me. From Jericho not fighting Trish but being a dick heel to Lita to both guys working to the women’s strengths to sell the offense that was believable and still show the strength and power difference, everything really worked in that match. I was quite surprised how much I enjoyed it upon rewatch. Longevity is a bit of a weak spot with this team, and while they were good in the ring and quite entertaining in backstage segments, there’s not a lot of meat on the bone of their tag team work.

Placement Range: Where this team ranks is going to vary greatly depending on what you value. If you place a heavy emphasis on longevity, they’re probably going to suffer. I’d like to have one classic match and Jericho and Christian fell just short of that. But they were a very good team that always worked well together in the ring and were really entertaining outside of the ring. I have them right around the middle of my list and that feels right. Pencil them in somewhere between 45-65.

  The World’s Greatest Tag Team

Years Teamed in WWE: 2002-2004, 2006-2007, 2009

Total Matches: 223

Combined Days of Tag Title Reigns: 180

Match Suggestions: vs. Kidman-Rey Mysterio (Vengeance ’03), vs. Kidman-Rey Mysterio (8/14/03 SD episode #208), vs. Los Guerreros (2/6/03 – SD), vs. Hardy Boyz- (One Night Stand ’07- Ladder Match), vs. Eddie Guerrero-Tajiri (Judgment Day ’03), vs. Los Guerreros (Backlash ’03), w/Kurt Angle vs. Lesnar-Benoit (No Way Out ’03)

Thoughts: Maybe the biggest challenge with this team was not recommending nearly every match I watched. They really were consistently great during their heyday, continuing the momentum of the blue brand tag division after Benoit-Angle and Edge-Mysterio went onto other things. Los Guerreros were still around, however, and their feud with TWGTT resulted in lots of great matches on SD and PPV. Once Chavo got hurt, things got even better (because Chavo sucks) and TWGTT had a banger of a ladder match against Eddie and Tajiri at Judgment Day ’03. Their matches with Kidman and Mysterio at Vengeance ’03 and on SD were also highlights. The reunion after Shelton’s singles run had diminishing returns, but saw some good matches against the Hardys in 2007. I would’ve told you they had more matches together and longer title reigns if you asked me before this project, so longevity hurts them a bit relative to other top-tier teams. They could’ve been a bit more charismatic and shown more personality, but they also could’ve gotten years out of the no-nonsense wrestling machine team they were as Team Angle and later with Heyman.

Placement Range: The longevity hurts them a bit, but they were just so consistently good. I’ve got a bundle of teams slotted in from about 7-15, and I keep going back and forth on the order of those teams. TWGTT is one of those teams, though I expect they’ll wind up toward the end of that range.

  American Alpha

Years Teamed in WWE: 2014-2017

Total Matches: 278

Combined Days of Tag Title Reigns: 152 (NXT and SD)

Match Suggestions: vs. Revival (NXT Takeover Dallas 4/1/16), vs. Revival (NXT Takeover The End), vs. Slater-Rhyno vs. Usos vs. Orton-Harper- (SD 12/27/16), vs. Usos (SD 3/21/17), vs. Revival (7/6/16- NXT- 2/3 falls),

Thoughts: American Alpha had tremendous matches with the Revival, and we’d talk a lot more about those matches if DIY and the Revival didn’t surpass them later in the year. But that shouldn’t diminish the American Alpha-Revival match-ups, which are still better than all but a handful of tag matches in company history. AA also had the most success transitioning from NXT to the main roster. I understand that is like saying they are the tallest midget or the best looking waitress at Denny’s (shout-out to Steve Williams for that quote.) Still, as of this writing they are only the second team to hold tag-team gold in both NXT and on the main roster. In addition to their NXT work, which was tremendous, they had very good matches with the Usos on SmackDown. American Alpha’s in-ring style works quite well, as they’re able to sell and generate sympathy with the crowd, and still have convincing offense. For those that want to be close to the energy and economic opportunity of Suplex City, but want to avoid the crowds and get good value for your home investments and top-notch schools, come to Belly to Belly Park, where Gable and Jordan set up residence. Of course, the team had tons of potential, so naturally the WWE “creative” writer monkeys had to split the team so Jordan could be Kurt Angle’s son. I’m sure this is some kind of rib that makes Vince piss himself with laughter to this day, while making anyone with a brain ask, “Why the fuck did the break up American Alpha for this stupid shit?” Still, the top-notch matches with the Revival and the Usos, success at both NXT and SD and nearly 300 matches with the company make American Alpha a strong candidate for the middle of the list.

Placement Range: American Alpha was one team I didn’t think was getting enough love on their Facebook thread. I get that their main roster run was uninspired, but they did win the SD tag titles and had classic matches in NXT. I saw many voters talking about a place near the bottom of their list, which is better than leaving them off, but I hope they haven’t made a list yet. Because putting a list together, AA is way higher on my list. I can’t find enough teams I think have better resumes, so they’ll be in my top half, somewhere from 30-50, I imagine. Maybe I’m ranking them higher than most, but I just don’t see enough teams that have their number of matches, success and quality of matches to knock them down any lower.

  Undisputed Era

Years Teamed in WWE: 2017-2018

Total Matches: 87 (as of 9/18/18)

Combined Days of Tag Title Reigns:

Match Suggestions: vs. Mustache Mountain- (NXT UK Championship 6/26/18), vs. Mustache Mountain (NXT TV 7/11/18), vs. Mustache Mountain (NXT Takeover- Brooklyn IV 8/18/18), vs. Oney Lorcan-Danny Burch (NXT Takeover Chicago II- 6/16/18), vs. Authors of Pain-Roderick Strong vs. Sanity (NXT Takeover WarGames- 11/18/17)

 Thoughts:  When we started this project, I didn’t think Undisputed Era had a prayer of making my list. I enjoyed Fish and O’Reilly with other companies, but they weren’t setting NXT on fire. Then Roderick Strong joined UE and they were off to the races. Strong has been one of my favorite under-the-radar wrestlers for years, so no surprise his pairing with KOR coincided with me really starting to love UE matches. Since that time, not only do I think they make the top 100, I think their case is much stronger than most are giving them credit for, and they may be much higher on my list than I expected. Their trilogy of matches with Mustache Mountain (6/26, 7/11 and Takeover Brooklyn IV) were all-timers. The only set of three matches that good I can think of are the TLC/ ladder matches between the Dudleys, Hardys and Edge-Christian and the New Day and Usos last year. All five of those teams will be in my top 15, so I don’t think it’s a stretch to say the Mustache Mountain-UE matches put UE toward the lower-middle portion of the list. The Lorcan-Burch match at Takeover Chicago was also tremendous, and they have six-man matches and KOR-Fish matches to supplement their case.

Placement Range: This is another team where what you value will dictate their placement on the list. But if you value great matches, then the Undisputed Era should make your list. I would argue their recent run has yielded more great matches than many teams that will make this list produced in years. I think a good comparison to UE are the SD Six teams, which had great matches in a short run. I have UE just below Angle-Benoit and Edge-Mysterio, comfortably in the middle of the list from 40-60.

  Hart Foundation

Years Teamed in WWE: 1985-1991, 1997

Total Matches: 724

Combined Days of Tag Title Reigns: 479

Match Suggestions: vs. Brain Busters (SummerSlam ’89), vs. British Bulldogs (1/18/86-Capitol Center), British Bulldogs (SNME aired 5/2/87- 2/3 falls), vs. Rockers (SNME aired 4/28/90), VS. Demolition (SummerSlam ’90, 2/3 falls), vs. Demolition (SummerSlam ’88), vs. Nasty Boys (WrestleMania VII)

Thoughts: With more than 700 matches the Hart Foundation has almost unparalleled longevity, lengthy title reigns and is one of the first teams that comes to mind when you think of WWE tag teams. As for their in-ring work…deep breath…I think they are a good, not great team that has many good and few great matches. I think their match with the Brain Busters at SS ’89 is their best, which I have right around 4 stars. I consider that match my “gatekeeper” match to elite level WWE tag team matches, meaning anything I like better makes the cut, anything I think is worse doesn’t and the Harts-Brain Busters is the dividing line. So, I do like that match and I do think the team is good, but I am not nearly as high on their work as many. I don’t like the Demolition SummerSlam matches as much as many do, and I just never felt much connection to the Harts or excitement from their matches. The matches are all technically fine or good, but just lack a little sizzle for me. Their longevity, title reigns and solid work earn them a high spot on my list, but I’m not their biggest fan.

Placement Range: I’ve heard them touted as a number one contender, but to me they don’t have the matches to make that claim. Other than their Brain Busters match I mentioned there’s nothing I’d call better than pretty good. Fans tout their many “classics” but whenever I find the matches they’re referring to, I’m almost always disappointed, and don’t feel like their matches with the British Bulldogs, Killer Bees and others are the classics they’re made out to be. Still, longevity, title reigns, reputation and good matches put them in a tier somewhere between 7-14, so the Hart Foundation is either in my top 10 or just outside it. And it does speak volumes that someone who is not a huge fan has to give credit where it’s due, possibly with a top 10 ranking.

That’s it for this week. I’ll be back soon with a theme column looking at more teams. As always thanks for reading and if I missed any matches or other highlights let us know on the Facebook page.