#riverteen

[hitchell-mope]

Doctor who/Alice through the looking glass au

Clara. Alice

Danny. James.

River. Mirana.

Thirteen. Tarrant.

Missy. Iracebeth.

Jack. Time.

[thecooler]

Thinking about the episode in season 4 (5? I think it was 4) of Riverdale where they just all see the same therapist and the therapist is like what the fuck is going on with these teenagers. What the fuck

[mean-vampyre]

In Riverdale, everything runs in the family, so thinks twice before you say that something crazy and senseless is happening. Riverteens have to pay for their parents mistakes but the power of love makes them do better.

Fred had an unhappy marriage to bisexual his wife, and performed his conventional masculine career. Archie almosts marries Betty (bisexual) and Cheryl (lesbian), but then he didn't, and he got away from the brute force career path to pursue his bisexual allegory poetry/music.

Jughead almost becomes a dropout alcoholic deadbeat dad who lost all of his high school friends like FP, but he didn't because he discovered polyamory and became the Demiurge of all timelines.

Alice got comphet married and became the unhappy judgmental local bitch that wanted to destroy everyone's happiness, but Betty discovered bisexuality and used her killer instinct to make the world safer and more accepting.

Hiram had so much homoerotic untapped potential that he had 6 seasons of beef with a bunch of teenagers only to put them in situations, but Veronica explored her homoerotic friendships early and often so she just minded her own business outside of riverdale making money for the sake of money.

Sheriff Keller grew up with his internalized homophobia and got unhappily married and had a child of repression. Kevin was so annoying but at least he got to voice his homosexuality as his identity and live out his true self.

Penelope Blossom was a child bride turned villain who never got to have a choice in her future and took it our on her children. But Cheryl choose against her role in the family to be a lesbian with an outsider, have a child that was not compliant with her redheaded lineage and essentially destroyed her family legacy to create a new one that was based on love and truth.

[bireggiemantle]

since the finale is today (SCREAMINGCRYINGYELLINGTHROWING UP) I thought it'd be fun to do a Riverdale themed ask game for the girls :)

Riverdale Ask Game

1. Who is your favorite character?

2. Who is your least favorite character?

3. Which season is your favorite, and which plot of that season do you like most?

4. Which season is your least favorite? Why?

5. What is something you wish the show would have done better?

6. Which musical episode is your favorite?

7. If you could pick, which ships would you make endgame?

8. Which ship(s) do you dislike?

9. Which character has your favorite costuming? What's your favorite outfit they wore?

10. Which episode is your favorite? Why?

11. Who do you think is the most underrated character?

12. If you read fanfiction, recommend a fic you love.

13. If you write fanfiction, recommend a fic you're proud of.

14. Which AMV is your favorite?

15. When did you start watching the show?

16. Have you ever cosplayed one of the characters? Would you?

17. What were your thoughts on Rivervale?

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

19. Who is your favorite parentdale character? Why?

20. What is your favorite quote?

[saturnaftertaste]

the consensus seems to be that gay sex would not fix either of them (hiram or archie). would anything?

look it depends on who they’re having gay sex with. i think if archie had gay sex (was gay en géneral) with jughead, i think that would’ve fixed him. archie is fundamentally a representation of ideal american masculinity (white, “straight”, strong+hot) with the added on characteristic of being a Good Guy. it tracks that archie’s prime directive is To Protect. protect who? his father, his mother, his girlfriend, his friends, gay kevin, etc. 90% of the story is moved by the fact that archie wants to protect people. hell, even the thing with grundy is in the ballpark of “protect/save/rescue” because she had an abusive husband (?) (i don’t remember). mostly, each season has archie’s rescue+protect instinct running through it all times. considering all of this, it makes sense that archie usually has a girl on his arm - someone that he can “protect” (not in the way that reddit incels fantasize about putting a woman in a saw trap so they can save her, but in a genuine, sort of expressing-his-affection kind of way.)

unfortunately betty and ronnie are both pretty independent women, as are josie, valerie, tabitha and most of the other women archie encounters. which means whenever archie is in a relationship with one of these women, he’s fundamentally standing on the side unable to really do anything. it’s why reggie+veronica don’t work out either in the end, in line with the idea that reggie is essentially a darker mirror of archie.

but you know who ISNT an independent girlboss? jughead! from day one jughead’s story has been attached to archie - from the moment archie didn’t show up for the trip, jughead started seething and frothing at the mouth thinking about archie and girls. even then, jughead does not go on the trip. jughead does not do anything, actually, unless he is partnered with one of the other riverteens. betty in season one, toni in season 2, archie in season 3, betty&archie in season 4, etc. jughead, left to his own devices, becomes the wettest most pathetic boywaif ever known to man. he camps out in a drive-in theater projection box. he lives in a cupboard under the school stairs. he gets beat to near-death. he gets beat to near-death again. he gets buried alive, conked on the head, fake-murdered, eaten by rats? made deaf? and whatever the hell else goes on with jughead. jughead exists in a perpetual state of distress, a Someone Who Needs Saving.

arguably, this is perfect for archie. archie needs someone to love him completely without him having to change anything about himself, and there is no one more devoted to the idea of archie than jughead. jughead, on thé other hand, needs someone to stick by him unconditionally, without abandoning him for “something better”. there is, quite literally, no one who embodies man’s best friend (see when i say man i mean it; the instances of him cheating on ronnie are. well) better in the entire town. archie would provide jughead with someone to protect+serve, and jughead would provide archie with someone who loves him no matter how “bad” he gets. unstoppable force x immovable object ygm

hiram, on the other hand. gay sex in the hirarchie dynamic would not fix anything for either party, i fear. i do think hiram is aggressively “male”, the same way that archie is, but in a bad light. there is obviously the racial angle there: mark consuelos is mexican, and hiram is implied (?) to be cuban (?). obviously he contrasts archie very significantly, who is the all-american teenage boy, to hiram’s latam-immigrant-drug-dealer-cartel-leader thing. inherently the story says that all of archie’s “acts of aggression” are either for good, pure reasons, or they’re “mistakes”. hiram’s aggression on the other hand is always villainous - it’s the rules of the context riverdale is set in. (this is obviously in line with their character histories, i’m just pointing out the obvious, because the racial context does indeed matter.) “corrupting outsider” being a brown man does in fact get turned on its head in the last season when the thesis of the show is stated outright “the threat is here, at home, in wholesome, suburban america”. but still. hiram existing to follow genre conventions contrasted against archie who is following his own genre conventions is just interesting to me. point being that i think gay sex to hiram would be like the homosexuality of greek military legend or homosociality taken to the next level (i.e. women are for having children.) i think fundamentally he wishes veronica had been a son; i think that hermione and veronica (and hermosa) having a majority role in his life makes him long for the male-only spaces of the mob - in the sauna, in the private meetings, in that one scene where he brings archie into his study and shuts the doors on veronica. i think perhaps fishing-trip-esque homosexual relations for hiram might fix him, in the way that beating up people in dark alleys “fixed” his “disease” in s4, but between hirarchie it would only further sexually traumatise poor archie and severely depress hiram.

(i think also half the fun of archie, to hiram, is the fact that he cannot stop him, so he keeps having to take bigger swings at archie. if in-show he really did want to take advantage of archie for sex reasons alone, it wouldn’t have been hard considering archie was already very vulnerable. this is not to say that hiram did not use the same tactics as grundy - trust/secrecy/validation - but it was for a different outcome. hiram’s prime directive is competition - to have archie under his thumb so completely would have bored him.)

the inherent comedy of “mob boss in competition with his teenage daughter’s boyfriend” is really lost if it turns into something sexual; to me it just becomes tragic and has some really disturbing connotations vis a vis the racial context of the whole setup.

ANYWAY what i think would REALLY fix the both of them is daily affirmations and recreational wood-chopping. channel that “masculine rage” into something productive. go chop some firewood for the murder chalet in the woods!

[doctorcurdlejr]

11, 18, and 19 for the ask game! :)

11. Who do you think is the most underrated character?

Hmm... maybe Veronica? I think a lot of people tend to dislike her character, which I can sympathize with, watching her Girl Boss Endlessly can certainly get tiring. But I believe if Jughead can sweep the nation despite his loser boy swag, Ronnie should be able to make her gazillion annoying and pretentious references to hell and back. #WeirdHER

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

Riveradults I think. Not only did we get Tabitha from it, but Archie got carbon monoxide poisoning in the mines and Cheryl got stigmata.

19. Who is your favorite parentdale character? Why?

answered - but my second fave is probably Gladys (SO CLOSE WITH FRED IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY). Like first of all that's Gina Gershon, second of all that's GINA GERSHON from BOUND, third of all she's PFLAG JARCHIE MOM, and fourth of all: HUMAN kevin

riverdale ask game

[garbagequeer]

18 and 19

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

them as adults post time jump i love them so much they're 25 they're wwi veterans they're wall street sharks they've been held captive in a well by serial killers they do drugs to write ya novels they're voluntarily exiled from society they have throuple babies they're letting their flags fly at forever half mast they're everything to me. what IF you tried to leave your hometown and be the person you're supposed to be but you could never make sense out there what if you were always headed back. and then they also get SUPERPOWERS <33

19. Who is your favorite parentdale character? Why?

i would say hiram but i feel hiram occupies a different category from the other parents (he is forever) so im saying JUGHEAD'S MOM everyone CLAP for JUGHEAD'S MOM gladys jones i love you girl you're so crazy <3 never a dull moment with jughead's mom

thanks for asking i feel like we're at sleepover talking about our crush (the tv show riverdale) <3

riverdale ask game

[femmehysteria]

3 7 18!!!

3. Which season is your favorite, and which plot of that season do you like most?

Ooh they're all perfect but season 4 with stonewall prep, bret weston wallis and donna sweet and that whole secret history esque storyline. and who could forget cheryl and jasons corpse

7. If you could pick, which ships would you make endgame?

This current season im loving reggie/archie but the best best relationship in all of riverdale imo is fangs/toni theyre both beautiful and perfect and they both deserve better than kevin and cheryl

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

Riverteens are a classic, whats better than a teenage girl at war against her father, a teen boy who does vigilante justice and like the riverteens are actually all friends and in each others lives in a way that the riveradults arent although i do love fbi betty and what war was archie even in

Riverdale asks

[jerrydevine]

hellooooo 18 12 and 10 🫶

hihihihihiiiii auguste hi <33333

10. Which episode is your favorite? Why? um the jughead paradox literally the jughead paradox...... why ? well of course ethel is there and jughead is the main character and hes soooo freakish i love it. two reggies who kill each other. then they trapped my baby in the bunker and riverdale jughead and tabitha were pda ing at the end of the ep like i love you tv program :)

12. If you read fanfiction, recommend a fic you love. ok i will be honest. can i be honest? riverdale fic in general to me is like. not very good. i think about it like how beth talks about tmi fic. but i will tell you that the only riverdale fic i ever read and looooved was they gave you life and in return you gave them hell . which auguste this is so huge for me because somehow i NEVER !!!!!!!! realized u wrote that fic until 30 seconds ago. i love it great work xoxoxo

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens? riveradults :D sue me!!!!!! i love tabitha!!!!!!!!! i love her and her friendships with everyone!!!!! also love that everyone is repeating cycles. oops wait no. i hate that they're repeating cycles but its sooo compelling

[storkmuffin]

Hi, for the Riverdale ask, question 18 : do you prefer the Riverteens, the Riverdadults or the 50's Riverteens ?

Oh that's TOUGH.

I think on the whole I prefer the Riverdadults even though I'm very tender about the Riverteens. The 50s Riverteens have almost nothing to do with the OG Riverteens so they're interesting to me but I don't particularly feel any type of way about them.

I know a lot of people disliked or felt betrayed by how the Riverdadults turned out, but I was very comforted by their pervasive sense of dislocation bc that echoes my 20s. I didn't like the things I tried so hard to get (like Veronica wanting a power marriage with a broker in NY then being made to regret the whole thing). I turned out not to be so great at the things I thought I was gonna be such a world beater at (Betty and her fail FBI career). Any decision I made to run away from my existing prblems always made things way worse (Archie joining the army instead of staying an extra year to finish high school). Plus I learned that what bit of success I had would only be rewarded by the opportunity to do even more work, which can feel very discouraging (Jughead and his inability to write a second book). Plus I grew up without a hometown (ultra peripatetic childhood) so I liked (in a mean way, maybe) the idea that even if you had a hometown, there's no "there" to return to because it will have changed and so have you.

[thecooler]

I love the musical episodes of Riverdale. Ppl say they're the worst ones and idk what ur watching the show for but as far as I'm concerned there's nothing better than a bunch of actors who can't sing desperately trying to tie unrelated songs to the plight of the Riverteens and also they can't use real drug names they still have to call them jingle jangle and fizzle rocks

[horrorlesbion]

14 18 20

14. Which AMV is your favorite?

@theultimatewildcard hirarchie would've could've should've vid makes me INSANE. screaming crying throwing up every time. that's my baby boy :(((

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

i don't care for 50sdale but it's a hard choice between the riverteens and adults. i suppose at this point the adults because they're my age? and there was a lot of good payoff for the #cycles but it's pretty wrapped up in which storylines i prefer and that varies between the individual characters.

20. What is your favorite quote?

"it burns me that there are people in this town that still believe being gay is anything less than rapturous" she was real for that

riverdale ask game

[cuchabra]

3, 4, 5, 17, 18, 19 y 20 del ask game de riverdale hala dale

3. Which season is your favorite, and which plot of that season do you like most?

SEASON 3!!! Unmatched energy, organ harvest dnd cult evil nuns jingle jangle the bear...... woah. Closely followed by season 6 and Rivervale.

4. Which season is your least favorite? Why?

Probably 7... Like. I know what it was trying to do but. But the worst thing riverdale can do is be boring and it WAS mostly boring.

5. What is something you wish the show would have done better?

Oof...... probably the whole grooming Archie thing. They eventually admited the teacher was grooming him, but only to bring her back in season 7?

17. What were your thoughts on Rivervale?

MY BESTIE RIVERVALE. I loved it sooo much. Most shows should learn a lesson or two.

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

Riverteens! OG core four have my whole heart. Riveradults are cool too, I love how dark the town gets, they bring home the cycles of violence and abuse for sure.

19. Who is your favorite parentdale character? Why?

Hiram!!!! He is the Most Fun I think. Im sorry, Im not immune to pathetic mobster having beef with a 16 year old boy.

20. What is your favorite quote?

Off the top of my head:

"A public execution? What are you, my executioners?" - Hiram

"Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe" - Archie

"What are you?... a wizard?" - Reggie

"I am an unwed mother carrying my cousin's babies" - Polly

"I bough it on e-slay" - That one true crime fan

"For I am Cheryl Blossom, queeeeen.... of the beeeees..." -Cheryl

[theultimatewildcard]

3, 9, 15, 18, if you want to 🌠🐕‍🦺🥤🐝🛼

those emojis.... roberto is that you?

3. Which season is your favorite, and which plot of that season do you like most?

i already answered this one here but i am going to give a different answer now <3 i really enjoyed the gang defeating evil bisexual cross-dimensional british wizard percival pickens with the power of trade unions in season 6 :)

9. Which character has your favorite costuming? What's your favorite outfit they wore?

answered this one here :)

15. When did you start watching the show?

i started watching in october 2018! i watched the whole of season 1 in one day and then watched season 2 at a slightly more reasonable pace and was then fully caught up and watching week to week by the season 3 midseason finale (december 2018 i believe?)

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

they all have a certain appeal to me. i'm going to say the riveradults :)

[sumeria]

15 and 18 for the riverdale ask game !!! (if you havent already answered them) :-)

15. When did you start watching the show?

little over a year ago! im a latecomer :)

18. Do you prefer the Riverteens, Riveradults, or the 50s Riverteens?

RIVERADULTS!!!

[userlaylivia]

10, 11 & 18 for the riverdale questions

10. which episode is your favorite? why?

it's between 1x01/1x13!! 101 because it was the first episode and it was so good such a good pilot! and 113 because it was just so intense and the acting was A+!!!!!!! plus bhva we're amazing in it!!

11. who do you think is the most underrated character?

veronica and josie!!!! I love them both so so so much and they deserve more love!! the hate veronica gets makes me sick and it's almost always when she interacts with archie ugh

18. do you prefer the riverteens, the riveradults, or the 50's riverteens?

the riverteens no question!!!! I love them so much I want them back tbh lol I know they remember and stuff but lol I love the riveradults too though at least fp and fred lol