#ritalc

[fantroll-purgatory]

Hey! It’s me again!

Yeah, hey it’s TR! Lol it’s been a minute so I had to backtrack to figure out your old username. CD has already started this one from a little while ago so I’m just here to bring the last of it home.

World: Alternia

Name: Feyarr Ridawk

Yep, I remember! Something about this feels…bird-y? Which given that your theming is inventing and reptiles we might need to step it back a little. How about Mandar Ritalc? Mandar because inventions are associated with fire, which made me think of fire salamanders, and because of Mandark in Dexter’s Laboratory. Ritalc still retains a similar lexical flow to the original last name but is just a mixup of Lacertilia, which is the suborder of lizards.

Meaning: none, this is part of the ongoing series of my first fansession

Age: 6 sweeps

Gender: male

Theme/Story: Feyarr’s whole theme is inventing and lizards. He fills up space with worthless trinkets and devices, and his hive is so messy and booby trapped that even his moirial can’t get through without accidentally hurting himself.

I don’t know if you’ve seen She-ra and the Princesses of Power, but going a sort of vaguely Entrapta route with this character could be fun! You’re trying to build up a Bard of Space here, and Bards of Space are going to restrict movement. Like, literal, physical movement. Passively, of course, they’re not standing there and holding anyone hostage, but traps and such are a great way to communicate this feeling! 

Space is also embodied by a sort of patience that you would want to challenge here. He’s a bard of space, so he’s destroying that sort of big-picture, let it flow mentality and actively chasing after things. Think of an impulse to do things Now, creating before he has a good idea of what he’s doing, being overambitious and thoughtless and often getting people Stuck because of his behavior. Mostly literally, but other times more metaphorically. 

Goals: Redesign if needed, reworking of the character, the usual.

Strife Specibus: flailkind. he’s pretty clumsy with it, but has personally decorated it so he wants to keep it.

Having a personally decorated weapon is a really cute idea that I appreciate, but I also am not quite sure if a flail really fits the theme you’re building here? He’s an inventor, not a knight. I almost feel like you should use something like a Trapkind where he has some inbuilt thing. Or maybe even something that’s just like what?kind, that functions in a manner similar to jokerkind or Vriska’s dicekind where it just does some nonsense. 

Fetch Modus: He has to break down “walls” to get the item.

If he likes building traps, I can see him trying to make it difficult to get in. Maybe he could have a Laser Trap modus where you’re supposed to use a certain pattern to get in, but if you mess up you get boobytrapped. Makes it really difficult to use under pressure! The last thing you need in a near-death situation is to get caught in a trap! 

Blood Color: indigo

Symbol and Meaning: Sagigo (EZ)

Handle: twistedExplosion[TE]

You haven’t gone a lot into his love of destruction here in his profile, so I don’t know how I feel about explosion being his major name association. BUt I don’t want to take it away entirely…. How about:

wrecktifiedInnovator [WI]

Wrecktified pays tribute to the idea of rectifying or rebuilding something, while also nodding to wreckage/destruction. There’s an added benefit that wrecktified in informal parlance also means “A response designed to stop bad behavior, which paradoxically produces more of it,” which feels fitting. Innovation is fairly straightforward! 

Quirk: randomly puts things in caps for EMPHASIS! >>-> separates sentences with that thing there.

i think it would be fun if he stARTED CAPITALIZING IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCES. like he’s building uP TO SOMETHING. you have to create a foundation before you can aDD THE PIZZAZZ. I think the separation with his symbol can stay, though! 

Special Abilities: None, besides super strength like other indigos.

Lusus/Guardian: lizarddad

I almost want to recommend something more trapping-related. Trapdoor spider? Orchid mantis? 

Interests: building, taking apart, fixing things, building traps, extreme sports, destruction, and did i mention building traps?

Appearance: 

Personality: Feyarr is an unpredictable and reckless troll. He wants to both build and destroy anything he can, but does care deeply about his friends safety- but often doesn’t notice when things aren’t safe. His friends aren’t as into his interests, but pretends to be to please him. His moirial has a huge flushcrush on him, but the feelings are not returned.

Dancestor: Komesc Ridawk, the rogue of space

Ancestor: the Animator Tristone

Lunar Sway: Prospit

Title: Bard of Space

Land: Land of Black Holes and Frogs

Thank you!!!

I didn’t really have much at all to add to what CD already said here, so let’s just run through a quick redesign:

We’ve got some work to do on this sprite. I see Tavros’s eyes, Terezi’s mouth, and Equius’s tank and shorts. One on its own would probably fly, but all together this starts to look a little procedurally generated. I tried to keep the spirit of your design intact. Let’s go top to bottom.

Horns - I loved the idea of both of them going the same way, but I wanted the shapes to be a little more distinct and less curved.

Hair - It just needed a little more mess and volume. Edited from a fan-troll template with tufts to echo the symbol.

Eyes - I took another fan-troll template and basically smushed it on top of the existing eyes.

Mouth - still wanted to go for a toothy look. I was going for something a little Randall from Monsters Inc.

Outfit - used a fan-troll template to turn the top half into overalls, which sufficiently conveys “inventor” without making him an Equius clone.

And that’s everything! Hope this all helped.

-TR