#rip voltron you will be missed

[salmoninzeeweed]

When I get a letter (the news) saying that my husband (voltron) died in battle (is leaving Netflix) (im ending it all)

[portrait-of-a-moron]

[Explodes]

[miakwat]

Actively grabbing onto Dreamworks’ shoulders and shaking them, begging for a rerelease of the Voltron Legendary Defender dvds

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 25

welcome to the twenty-fifth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. ladies and gentlemen we are rocking in space by @mayerwien

LANCE do u like the taste of spam, van kieu because thats what ull get 1 glorious terabyte of def-not-garrison-approved viewing matl every hour on d hour

KEITH And now you’re blackmailing me. Wonderful. Look, I’ll tell you, alright? Not because your threat scares me, but because I’d like to cut this conversation as short as humanly possible.

LANCE glad ur being so cooperative ;) ;)

--

Lance gets a new flight simulation partner. Lance makes a bunch of mixtapes. Lance falls in love?

Galaxy Garrison + texting au. For the Klance Zine!

i can confidently say, in my 6+ years of being a klance stan, i have never seen anything like this before or since. this fic is AMAZING. completely new idea, hilarious, sweet, and totally untouchable. i’ve always love testing fics that are done right (bc theyre always funny), and does this one ever knock it out of the park! the dynamics are amazing and the rivalry is EXQUISITE. bonus of vietnamese keith and filipino lance, and this one line (it’s a spoiler so im not going to put it here) that actually knocked me out of the water. its about the CHOICE.

2. But You’ll Peek Through by Barkour

It's weird, the things you get used to when you've been stuck in space for years. How much you miss home. Socializing regularly with only six people. No wifi. Your cranky boyfriend.

this is one of the earliest vld fics ever written, and it has a CROWN idk. this fic makes me feel so many emotions all at once. like  i miss u 2016 fic i miss u keith gyeong i miss u bitchy klance i miss u early voltron found family dynamic i miss u old lance’s family headcanons i miss u bamf team. rip to the earliest voltron fandom (also. how did this author know about romelle. in 2016.)

3. Pull Me Closer by @thewriter2

An ancient power dwells in Lance’s very bones. It hums a sweet song of the sea in Lance’s ear, calling him to the water. Keith’s bones are on fire as the very spirit of the flame lives in him. However, it’s these ancient powers that begin to pull them together; that shows them how to properly balance each other out

i SEARCHED for this fic. i made half my followers search with me too. this fic is bamf lance to the fucking max, and its AMAZING. how many of you have wanted waterbender lance so badly you could barely speak? firebender keith? if u said u didnt then ur lying. this fic has literally everything you could ask for in a canon divergence

4. The Homestead by @devooshawrites

Keith is hired for the summer to work on the farm of the McClain family. He and the youngest son of the family become good friends, though Keith might want more.

i am so fucking in love with aus like this. cowboy or farmboy where theyre quietly in love in their own bubble of the world?? i cannot get enough of them. i would read a million of them. this fic in particular is SO soft and tender, it is so so important to me. ive read it so many times. its one of those fics that brings a smile to your face that u literally cannot fight back

5. Prince Charming by @taylortot

Lance thinks that Prince Keith is just another stuck-up royal with an attitude problem until they spend some time together outside of the palace and he discovers that he couldn't have been more wrong.

Written for The First of Forever Zine!

this fic is SO tender it is sickeningly sweet. “rivals” to friends to lovers is so special to me, and no one does it like taylortot fr. love is stored in the tender moments away 

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[bogcreacher]

What was the plot for your "elemental anime wolf story from 2012?"

not much hobestly - Fire Guy is an orphan raised by his uncle. Uncle tells Fire Guy to find group of wolves who all also have elemental powers, then immediately dies. Fire Guy finds the group and join them under the mentorship of their leader, Plant Guy. The group were working to defeat Bad Guy but couldn’t unlock their full Voltron-esque final form because they were missing Snow Girl. 

At some point Fire Guy fell in love with Water Girl, and Plant Guy beefed it. I think the villain was a white tiger??? 90% of the tangible story was created with Windows Movie Maker, using photoshopped wolf pictures I ripped from google images, and a silly “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” animatic I never finished 

[dreamyzworldlove]

Well, today’s the last day to watch Voltron.

i have a lot of complicated feelings about this show. for one, it was my first true introduction to fandom , specifically my first introduction into fanfiction and shipping and i think it’s going to stick with me for the rest of my life.

the show aired through out some of the most formative years of my life, and i have so many fond memories that sparked because of vld. from making shitty fan art, to the ridiculous fan theories i would come up with with my friends, and of course over analyzing any time keith and lance were on screen.

that’s not to say i’m not well aware of the pitfalls of the show and fandom. while i look back mostly with nostalgia i do not miss being queerbaited or shipwars the rose tinted glasses are not that strong lol

my obsession with vld has waned over time but has never truly left. before the cancellation announcement i hadn’t watched the show in years, and yet i still couldn’t find it in me to change my allura netflix profile or give away my shitty old voltron teeshirt. i would even find myself on the klance tag on ao3 far too often for someone who was “over” the show.

on one hand i feel relieved that this show is getting taken off, the fandom it sparked was truly insane but on the other hand, im sad that no one new will get to experience the same joy it gave me.

regardless it feels so bizzare that a show that was so important to who i am as a person is just going to be gone for the most part. ( and yes ik there’s pirating, but that’s not the same) like as much as the show holds a place in my heart im likely never going to watch it again and that’s . very strange.

i’ve loved these characters for most of my life and it feels like i’m letting them go??? sort of???

so rip voltron legendary defender . for better or for worse you will be remembered <3

[isabelopaque]

You are the only person on the website that should be Voltron posting I don’t trust anyone else. I pirated one episode when it came out because I didn’t have Netflix at the time and then never finished it. I hated Klance for no reason to the point where I’d feel sick at the mention of them. I discovered this youtube channel called Avorabo where they’d just react to random episodes and rip it to shreds and I miss it. I don’t care about Voltron but I miss that. Sorry where I am going with this.

This means a lot to me anon. Also incredibly real if i wasnt autistic to a point of insanity about it i think i would've hated voltron. Unfortunately here we are. Thank you for your patience in this time of weakness

[purlty23]

𝕱𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖆𝖌 𝖌𝖆𝖒𝖊 ✨

I saw this little fandom game thingie on another site and I really liked it, so I decided to bring it over here to tumblr while my apple pen charges. I’m also going to change up the rules. I’m going to list the fandoms I’ve been in, and classify them by:

Passive enjoyer = simply enjoyed it and the fan content made for it OR Creative enjoyer = actively made art, fanfic, cosplay, etc etc etc.

I’m going to tag people here but no pressure if you don’t want to do it! @miasmaghoul @lonelymentality @copiasjuicebox @iamthecomet @thediktatortot Also if you see it and want to do it, feel free.

Game under the cut since mine will be long<3

Harry Potter - creative enjoyer - My very first. This shit was a family affair in my house. I went to watch parties, themed parties. I cosplayed shittily, wrote shitty fanfic, and my walls were plastered floor to ceiling in teen magazine posters. Went to the Exhibition. Every second movie would come out in July so I would pretend it was like a birthday gift to me.

Twilight - creative enjoyer - Jfc. Don’t get me started. I still have my Edward action figure whose now missing both hands. Used to write self insert fanfic on quizzilla.com. RIP you beast of a website

The Walking Dead - passive enjoyer - This was also a family affair. Every sunday we would all gather round our shitty TV for the newest episode. I was more of a liveblogger than anything else. My dad has a bit to this day that ‘Hershel isn’t dead. He’ll be back.’ Yeah, sure dad.

Legend of Zelda - creative enjoyer - For most of my childhood I was passive, only really doodling Twilight Princess stuff sometimes. Then BOTW came out and it all changed.

Lord of the Rings - passive enjoyer - I look at Legolas and Aragorn. That’s enough for me. I don’t need creative works because I just need to look at them.

Marvel (Spider-man and Loki mostly) - creative enjoyer - I’ve been drawing these guys since birth, for better or for worse. MCU can suck my nuts but so can Loki franchise /sex DC (Batman) - creative enjoyer - Batman the Animated series did something bad to me. Now I draw Joker sometimes. Watch out, stay safe out there

Sherlock and Doctor Who - passive enjoyer - I’m putting these two together since I never really made fan art or anything, but I did attend watch parties for both on several occasions.

Supernatural - creative enjoyer - Sighs. Sighs even harder. Somewhere out there, deep in the depths of fanfic.net there’s miles of really really really bad fanfic. Somewhere…. Final Fantasy VII - creative enjoyer - Sighs far more dreamily. My favvvvv my ultimate fav. Sephiroth is my fictional other and LOMF. Many, many arts of him throughout every sketchbook I own. Also some fanfics IIRC.

TF2 - creative enjoyer - I used to draw Medic and Pyro kissing<3

Homestuck - creative enjoyer - War flashbacks. Not only was I a semi-well known fanartist, I was also a semi-well known cosplayer in my city. I was a ‘friendleader’ in my cities Homestuck fangroup and attended events, dances, etc etc etc. I was on a cosplay gif blog here on Tumblr. I ran the second most popular groupchat on MSPARP.com before it was MXRP.com. I had beef with mods. Most of my relationships at that time were forged in the fires of LOHAC. I still see my art of Dave in MCR black parade uniform around sometimes. Dramatical Murder - creative enjoyer - To no ones surprise. Yeah. I like the yaoi dissociation game. Dream Daddy - creative enjoyer - SHOUTOUT DREAM DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Evil priest Joseph lovers rise UP. Didn’t do much, but there’s some art floating around out there.

Voltron: LD - passive enjoyer - Thank GOD I never made anything for this. However, I was active in the kin community so thats a huge L. I also ate uppppp stuff about it and sheith still fucks.

Overwatch - creative enjoyer - Sometimes you’re a Genji main and the world is so so hard for you. That’s how I used to live my life, then I got better.

Final Fantasy XV - creative enjoyer - Second LOMF. My old art blog is stocked full of chocobro content, mostly fanart of the boys and meme redraws. Also used to cosplay Noctis CONSTANTLY! Here’s an old tiktok

The Band Ghost and Sleep Token - creative enjoyer - (((((((: Hi guys

[duxamm]

rip voltron legendary defender you will be missed

[californiannostalgia]

My Voltron Speedrun through Vid Recs (Part 4/4)

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 ]

hi this is my allura&lance / post-season-8 grief vid playlist that I only recommend if you want to feel like your heart's being ripped out

first 3 vids are allurance centric, next 2 vids are for the entirety of team voltron (flashing warning for all of them)

why would I do this to myself? well I thought the grief had faded. I was wrong. but if there's anything I'm more obsessed with than happy fictional couples, it's sad fictional couples who can't be together after saving the fucking world. (vaxleth mains represent!) also their traumatized superhero teams.

[VLDMV]If I Lose Myself // Lance & Allura: Establishes their commonalities and dynamics early on in the show. They miss their homes.

blue lion & her paladins | pay no mind | amv: Blue paladins make unconventionality their strength. Laugh-out-loud freedom.

lance & allura • listen [season 8 spoilers]: She made him quiet. He made her comfortable. Sincerity and trust, to you're my priority. I'm sorry.

This is Home || Voltron AMV: I am devastated. Destroyed. My babies.

(AMV) Goodbye, Voltron: Crying at 3am. I can't take this. I'm never gonna be over them.

+ an extra allura vid under the break

VLD - Allura / If I Die Young (S1-8): Thanks for saving the world, lion goddess.

[void-tiger]

Sorry this is late but you are so right in the tags (the memes for post se8 au one)!!! Like Kuron didnt deserve any of that shit both in canon and story wise. Like there is doomed by the narrative and then there is whatever this was, like freaking Haxus was given a moment of silence and Allura reminding Zarkon of his shit was treated as more morally wrong then this. And just half the reason i have this au is because i want Jiro to be angry about this like he deserves. Like he did nothing wrong but my good he should have, he deserves to bite people. He 100% deserve to be angry at Shiro and Allura (and Keith. Keith was the one most assertive that he was Shiro, Keith was the one that basically got him killed. Jiro is taping up Keith and Haggars and a bunch of other people's pictures on a dartboard and throws darts at it as stress relief as we speak)

Ohh I am SO angry at Keith.

“The Black Lion Roared! It claims Keith as BP!”

NO, fools. The Black Lion wants to save the damn clone who quite literally threw his bayard away—at Allura; if anyone was “next in line” it should’ve been her. We all know it. Mir practically animated it that way in addition to him wiping the floor with them but nobody actually got hurt. HELL even while possessed he gave them TIME to Get The Fuck OUT. And Allura had to blow up her castle to fix Lotor’s Major Fuckup, anyway. He could’ve easily crippled the paladins or Voltron by killing them Right Then or taking the bayard or Black Lion with him.

He didn’t. He’s literally playing 3D chess in a split second—while possessed—and he largely goes unsung, anyway.

He keeps the showdown against Keith largely in Keith’s Favor and deliberately missing shots and destroying the cloning facility (rip to the clones. They are innocents in this too.) and. Keith still nearly gets himself killed, anyway.

Black Lion’s the one to save Jiro when he’s finally close enough in-range for the Lion to sense him—despite them not having a true Lion-Paladin bond.

Black Lion saves Shiro (and Green Lion saves Pidge) VERY early on.

Black Lion saves Shiro again—while being the most damaged by that S1 Fight against Zarkon and Haggar—by teaming up with Keith very briefly (then has to go offline again; they need a Castle Pickup.)

Black Lion saves Shiro by uploading him—you mean to tell me a Teleporting Lion who clearly adores THIS Paladin and does not come back online until Every Single Character (save Coran) tries bonding with it would just Lose his body like that? NAH. That’s NOT how the scifi tropes for transporters or transporter delays/accidents even work.

As horrific as it is, if the issue was really Shiro needing a body verses Black Lion wanting to save a clone trying so hard and loving so much, too, um. [gestures at It’s Raining Men errr Shiro Clones.] Black Lion had options. I am not a fan of this particular fanon fix. Those clones deserve a chance to live, too. BUT it does point out the even more obvious flaw in what actually happened canonically.

Buuuuuut, Monsantos didn’t care about that. They just wanted their Officially Bastardized Version Of Keith to be their grimdark edgelord BP self insert. (Oh, and make Allura their Narrative Tool to do it.)

-

…soooo…yeah. Jiro deserves to be fucking pissed at Allura, Shiro, the paladins, and especially Keith.

Shiro has every right to be upset with Jiro. (Misdirected, sure. But, imo he’s allowed to be imperfect without getting villainized for it, y’know? Trauma and processing trauma and healing isn’t tidy whatsoever.)

(And Allura should NEVER have been used by the writers for what happened. Or framed as “just as bad as the galra! Teehee!!” in s8, apparently—I staunchly refuse to watch it.)

[chibi-pix]

Chibi watches V3D 16

Another night, another episode. Time for Voltron: The Third Dimension!

Is this episode just another recap episode? I wanted to know what happens next after the last episode. I mean, I get I’m only five minutes in, but I’m almost disappointed. But. I can at least appreciate Lotor throwing a fit about the news. And question how that newscaster got the footage and information about Keith when he was momentarily corrupted. Oh well. But more than questioning that newscaster, I question Amalgamus’ change and speaking a little positively about the Voltron force for a moment.

Lotor’s a creep, awaiting the segment on Allura. It’s not really surprising.

Oh hey! Amalgamus even questioned how the newscaster got the footage! Of course, the newscaster refuses to reveal his source. “Try dating others?!” Lotor ready to destroy the network over that suggestion is actually kind of funny.

I was gonna come up with a comment about the others not wanting or wanting to talk about Lance, but Haggar’s comment of “I think he’s kinda cute” just sent me. I did not expect it and it was freaking hilarious.

“Lance has a slight problem with authority issues.” I mean, true. But it doesn’t help that your authority sucks ass, Amalgamus.

Them showing the one v. one fight between Lance and Lotor… why do I not remember that? Maybe I’ve just been watching these consecutively so much and losing track. Sounds accurate. But it’s still bothering me that I don’t remember.

The Galactic Action News going off air. “That can’t be good.” Amalgamus, that is the understatement of the century. “I suppose the Voltron force has another little job to do.” Were you not there for the last episode? THE LIONS ARE GONE YOU DUMB CALCULATOR! Jeez. My PDA is better than you at knowing shit. And I blew it up on accident. RIP my precious PDA. You will be missed.

Anyway, that's it for the night. Until next time!

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 15: Give Me Your Princess Season 1, Episode 16: Bridge Over The River Chozzerai

I'm attempting to do two episodes per post now! This will help me finish the show quicker and hopefully will make it more fun to watch

Episode 15 - Give Me Your Princess We start with Lotor quite literally asserting his dominance over his military as Commander, and immediately they're off to destroy Arus Also, this is where the obsession starts I guess, suddenly he's real interested in the princess

holy shit i cant believe he actually takes care of his hair

Oh we're already at this episode? Allura sneaks into black lion to learn to fly it in case of emergency, good plan but i always was annoyed that she thinks it HAS to be her when she's literally the most important person on the team, yknow being a princess and all

Ah yes a staple of the 80s "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't do things boys can!" Obviously it was important for girls during that decade and it still is now but MAN is the way of showing girl power outdated as I'm watching this now more than 30 yrs later

Lion troubles, apparently Black lion is malfunctioning, but they try and fail to form Voltron as Lotor is actually competent LMAO Allura faints and black drops out of the sky

Lotor has a personal fighter, and it looks like a bat, how cool, Keith is currently trying to rip it apart since everyone thinks it's allura in blue and not him which makes lotor scram

Harem time, I guess that's why they pulled the sudden obsession this episode, all the harem girls are blonde and could easily be mistaken for Allura and the allura imagery all throughout this episode that I haven't been mentioning

hell yeah they're telling off allura for her sudden test drive of black and now her reason changes from "in case of emergency" to "if you go back to earth"

oh my god this just turned into a telenovela Especially with Keith guilt-tripping her by saying Sven wouldn't have almost cost them their lives, low blow keith

She tries to apologize to Keith but the words of the other 3 boys get to her and she walks off I'm actually kind of glad she takes their opinions seriously and isn't being relegated to "the leader's girl" also keith regrets being so harsh on her, even though he was right to reprimand her in general

Did nobody learn anything from the last time lotor was on arus and said he'd be willing to leave in peace? Allura he won't give up just because you give yourself to him, especially if he smacked keith in the face with a ROCK after he won their sword fight

Allura literally busts through the tower lotor left on arus and gives herself up, and then faints (again) because Lotor electrocuted the lion, I don't blame her for that one The boys go rescue her and i think i missed something because keith is hurt? He did go after the princess outside his lion so maybe he got shot and i missed it, anyway he's ass at flying and allura is protecting him in turn now

No robeast this episode, but voltron is still formed and takes down the rest of the spires that lotor left behind, plus a giant laser weapon Allura and Lance carry Keith in, apparently he was cut by lotors laser sword, go figure Nanny doesn't care, as per usual, but goes to get stuff for Keith once Allura tells her to

Everyone forgives each other, Allura apologizes for stealing black without permission and the boys apologize for being so rude when she just wanted to do some good, Allura cries (for like the third time) in joy after being told she's wanted to be kept on the team, so she shouldn't doubt it

/episode end

Episode 16: Bridge Over The River Chozzerai Apparently the kingdom Allura rules over is called Altair and another nearby kingdom is called Helena. They have a running legend together about two lovers who were each a part of one of the kingdoms, but it was a romeo and juliette esq romance because the kingdoms were enemies, so they built a bridge between the vliff that separated them to finally be together the princess is playing one of the lovers, while she wants one of the boys to play the other

"getting icky sticky in the middle" Lance McClain sHUT-

The boys minus Keith are fighting over the part, Keith ain't no simp and especially not one for Allura LMAO Keith "No, Thanks" Kogane is a mood, I wouldn't want to go out to a bridge ceremony either

Hunk wins because Pidge tries to get the mice to help him cheat at a card draw, and they purposefully mess him up Now they have more beef lol

What a cute dress, I wonder if this is a historical reenactment or actual fashion on Arus

Haggar's cat exists once again and sends word that Allura and Hunk are away from castle. Lotor starts heading to Arus, specifically for Allura ofc, and interrupts the two right before they embrace on the bridge Now there's a robeast and it splits the bridge in two while Lotor shoots the cliff where the bridge hangs, causing it to fall. Somehow Allura is on the unsunken parts of the bridge and Lotor takes the change to try and snatch her before Hunk comes from behind and starts fucking SWINGING Very iconic of him, I'd feel safer if Hunk was protecting me in danger

The other boys are on their way, but Hunk slips off the bridge and is hanging on for his life as lotor gets pushed away by Allura who then gets smacked into the water Lotor comes back around for her in his jet until yellow line smacks him from behind, how the FUCK did Hunk get there so fast, and nanny since shes SOMEHOW IN THERE TOO

Lotor strikes back, and they crash into the cliff while the boys are stuck fighting a robeast at the castle, so they can't go help him Allura swims to safety anyway and runs to blue only to find lotor already there, honestly very smart of him since she's guaranteed to return to blue

HELLO?? Lotor tried grabbing her even though she had a gun, girl should've pulled the trigger, but only tears her dress so instead she runs towards blue AND POINTS THE BLASTER AT HER HEAD Damn, I really need to watch beastking golion if we get stuff like this in the censored American version

Anyway he tried to get the gun away but literally trips giving her time to shoot at his feet, so he back-ups enough for her to get into blue, smart girl Hunk and nanny are still at the cliff since yellow isn't responding well, so she basically piggybacks yellow onto blue to get back to the castle as lotor is shooting at them, that's a very weird position but ok

Keith can apparently take control over yellow when they're in voltron? I'm taking that as, since he's the center, having the ability to work with all 5 lions to coordinate movement, but not actually control the limb as that's up to the pilot in it

Voltron is formed, maybe it has a strong magnetic pull that brought yellow lion in even though it couldn't fly, also voltron has a whole other sword, that's interesting to know Blazing sword takes out the elephant tank hybrid robeast and now Yellow is getting repaired, it looks like it's being done inside it's den so that's good to know for world building

Hunk questions why Allura didn't kiss Lotor on the bridge since the legend was about uniting two lands but Allura is grossed out and says it's about people in love and that not even his father could love lotor get his ass princess

she was right lol, zarkon's PISSED and tells him to stop thinking with the head in his pants and start thinking with the head on his shoulders to defeat voltron

/episode end

[autisticlancemcclain]

Truthfully, he should have seen it coming.

He’d anticipated the pain and loneliness for the first week. No signal, Keith had said, but it won’t last too long. Lance had hung onto those words like they were the only thing holding him up from a chasm of frustration. Every longing look at his laptop came with a reminder that he could talk to Keith soon.

And then the second week passed. And the third.

Lance had rationalized it to himself. Keith has a very hectic schedule, after all. It’s not too unusual for him to miss a call, for him to be unavailable. It’s not like he has a set schedule. He gets missions and then he has to go — Lance would rather him be focused, honestly, even if it means he misses his boyfriend worse.

He’s in a weird state of limbo, then, when the call from Kolivan comes. Part of Lance felt dread from the moment the Blade pushed through the call. Another part begged any god who would listen that he was wrong. There had been so much panic and uncertainty swirling through thin, then, that he’d hardly even heard the Galran’s words, hardly heard him confirm Lance’s worst fear: Keith had gone missing. He was assumed dead.

Something cracked in Lance, then. Something wide and sharp and gaping, splitting all the way up from the base of his tailbone to the tip of his head. Something fragmented, as every part of him imploded.

Before he felt the pain, though, before his heart cracked fully in half, his brain went foggy, like he was a panicking horse with a blanket thrown over its head.

This is for your own good, murmured a voice in his head, gentle and cool as a river, and then Lance went blank. He heard his teammates’ outcries, heard the demand for answers and details that Kolivan did not have, saw the confusion and fear and panic in everyone’s expression.

But he was blank. He felt nothing. Red had dragged Blue to him, and had her blanket his mind and soul, protect him from his own destruction.

He spent the next two months increasingly numb. He felt things happening, logged them in his brain, interacted as normally as he could, but it almost felt like he was tethered on a string a few feet away from his body, like he was watching himself live from behind.

It was nauseating.

Watching the team fall apart, struggle to even interact as a group; watching everyone branch off and grow more irritable, watching Shiro crack under his own pressure and turn into someone Lance couldn’t recognise…it was difficult to watch. It felt like watching two trains approach each other at full speed only for you it was in slow motion; you knew it was coming, could see all the damage it was doing, but you were powerless to stop it.

I can’t do this anymore, he begged his lions. He felt both of their apprehension in his mind, their fear; of him splintering where he stands. He’s never been very good at handling heartbreak. He can barely handle the pain of being so far away from home, from what he knows. Losing people haunts him in ways that never leave. He knows that.

But he also knows that he is capable. He has made it this far. Grief is all-encompassing, it always is, but he has grown around the pain every time, and he will again.

This time, also, he has no choice. He is the Red Paladin of Voltron. Whether Shiro wants him or not, he is the right hand. He has a responsibility, and he can hide from it no longer.

It will hurt, Blue warns softly.

Lance closes his eyes, shuddering. His hands clutch tighter on the shirt he has of Keith’s, soft with use, no longer smelling of him but comforting anyway.

“I know,” he whispers.

Hesitation blooms from both lions, but Lance’s resolve is stronger. Nothing happens for a moment, the anticipation of the pain worse than any muted emotion he’s felt in weeks. Then, suddenly, like the blanket was ripped off his mind, he lights up with pain.

He gasps out in the shock of it — it’s more than he expected, everywhere, like months of grief is hitting him at once. Sobs bubble up his throat and explode out of him, violent in how they tear out of his throat, his mouth, and the heaving turns his stomach so greatly that he barely makes it to the bathroom before throwing up. He clutches the icy porcelain of the toilet seat, like the grip can help the splitting ache in his head, the burning of his eyes, the bitter taste overflowing his mouth.

“God, no,” he moans, and he’s not sure if he’s protesting the pain of a trillion suppressed neutrons firing at once or the abstract pain of knowing he will feel this ache every day for the rest of his life. “God, please, no.”

He’s not sure how long he sits like that. How long he suffers. Long enough that he runs out of tears, long enough that his voice grows hoarse. Both Blue and Red howl in pain inside his mind, frantic to watch him but unable to intervene. He mourns until he physically cannot mourn any longer, and falls asleep crumpled where he sits, clutching himself tightly to try and hold his pieces together.

He wakes suddenly to the castle’s blaring morning alarm, muscles cramped from their night-long tense positions and eyes burning. He straightens as carefully as he can, rising to wash his face and dress as quickly as he can manage. He’s going to be late regardless. And Shiro is going to be angry with him, and this time he’s just going to have to deal with it. The ache in him has not lessened. He just no longer has time to cater it.

He is the Paladin of the Red and Blue Lions, the Right Hand of Voltron.

He has a job to do.

———

fics in the same universe: before after

[thisizznotizzy]

RIP to my mini Voltron phase back in 2020

You will not be missed or forgotten

[plumppushu]

I am not the kind of person who goes into personal stuff but… 2023 deserve a special note.

This year, I lost my older brother Yves. It was unexpected and it crushed my soul into million pieces. It was not the first sibling I lost but this time it did hit different… Michele, my older sister, died of cancer in June 2017. She had, for over a decade, cut contact with my dad for reasons that I can understand as an adult (and at the same time, me and my closest brother as we were kind of collateral damage). Yet the fact is she did and when she passed away I hadn’t seen her since she went no contact it was painful but still felt kind of an open door that will never close because there was (and still is) no closure… but my older brother, it was not the same.

I was not super close with him (distance between 2 provinces made things a bit difficult) but I was close enough to feel like my soul had been ripped from my body. That my heart was shredded into thousand pieces and that I had to go on with life knowing that he was gone and that I was still expected to be functional, to move on, to be a responsible adult.

8 months have passed and I am still not okay. I still grieve. I grieved and cried for Michele, the sister I grew up with and for Yves that I met in 2008, when he was finally ready to meet his biological family and more importantly his dad. Because back in the 1960’s it was impossible for my dad to have custody, because in the 1960’s, he was given to adoption and laws were different and well… things have changed now. Hoping that the path he was forced to take will never happen to any kids ever again. The sad part is it happened, he did his very best in life but it came to an end in April this year. And I am still so very angry that it came to pass, that he died and that I am bereft of my older brother.

We can say that life isn’t fair and all of that shit but I don’t care. I lost my older brother and I am still so sad that I I can’t properly deal with my pain.

Now. Here I am, with only one sibling left, feeling raw and still unsure of where things will go in 2024 and beyond. There is still so much regret, so much pain, so many things I should have done for myself that I did not in 2023 but it’s too late to go back and try to fix what you cannot. Too late and yet… the only thing left to do for me, for my dad, for my only sibling left… is to move forward. As hard as it is, there is no other issue or solution for us. My older brother is gone and nothing I can do will ever change that fact. I can scream into the void, bang at the Fates’ door and voiced out loud how unfair life is, how it is cruel for his own sons he is leaving behind, for my father who has to bury his second child, for my brother who has to go through a second time that one of his dear sibling has passed away. Loss is an unfair and cruel thing to deal with and sometimes unavoidable.

Here we are, close to the new year and yet, I wish I could go back to January 2023, when my older brother was still alive, when I gave him my last hug, when we missed each other’s calls and laughed about it and made plans to see each other when I would be back to my birth province. When he was still there, still traveling, still very much alive.

But I cannot. And I grieve. And i am not okay.

My life is moving on into 2024, with my own projects and goals and what I have left of my family and trying to heal and get better. It might be the year that will bring change to my life again but whatever pain it will bring, nothing will compare to 2023. Not for me anyways. Grief is a terrible thing to feel and it does not heal or go away no matter how hard we try and how much time will pass.

In 2017, the dying wish of my older sister Michele was that I would continue and make art. I did my BAC in comic books (and it was the best 3 years of my life) and grief made me stop creating and crushed my soul from doing anything artistic for over 5 years (last thing I did was a fanart online of Voltron, a fanzine that helped me for the first 10 days of my overwhelming grief) and did not do anything since. I moved one province over and never touched my drawing pad or did any fanart or OCs. Zero art at all. Now that I am still hurt, that I am still raw, still screaming my loss into the void, maybe I should start 2024 with Michele’s dying wish and channel my brother Yves’s grief with art. I think that would help my overwhelming grief to be channeled somewhere and turn my pain into something visual and to finally start healing my wounded soul.

I am not okay. But maybe I could try and work on making myself heal again? To live again? To at least make sure that both my siblings, through my art, can be alive again and maybe I could heal, tiny bit by tiny bit, and honor them by creating things that would make them proud?

2023 was probably the most painful year of my life but if I grow from this bad year then there could be something to learn from this sad part of my existence.

For those who are still living with sadness at the end of this year, you are not alone. Your feelings are valid, no matter how many months, years, decades it has been. Grief does not care about the passing of time. Life forces us to continue along the flow of our daily life and the world continue to turn, unaware of our deep pain.

But.

For some of us… life pause for an instant.

It stops and we cry and wail to an uncaring sky that continue to turn round and round, day and night.

It goes on for all the rest of the world that are nor aware we are screaming at the uncaring doors of death, trying to keep our loved ones close to us for just one more day, one more hour, one more minute.

And yet it is too late for us, for them, for it has passed and we are helpless to stop the sun to dawn on another day without our dear departed one that has left this world.

I lost my brother in April. I still grieve. And no matter how many months it has been I am still at death’s doors, banging, screaming, pleading for him to come back and to talk to me once more, to say “I love you” to his sons, to talk to my dad, to call me…to leave me a message on my phone so I can listen to his voice once more so I can never forget the sound of it, how it was filled with unsaid feelings of kindness and compassion.

I am still grieving. But I hope from the bottom of my heart that 2024 will help me heal from this deep and overwhelming pain i have in my soul.

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May 2024 be soft and kind to anyone who are still in pain. Your grief is valid. Your pain is real but also reflect the deep love you have inside of you. And from one deeply wounded soul to another, may love and kindness come to you and heal your wounds with their compassion.